Lola shot her fiance a worried look over the sofa. She'd noticed a change in Reid in the past few weeks. A change for the worst. Her fiance was acting...well, like himself times ten. He drank more and slept even less than his already unhealthy routine usually included. On the house he was spacy and moody at best, often sneaking pulls off the flask he kept hidden on him at all times. Lola couldn't even remember the last time Reid hadn't smelled like a bar. The future had been woken up more than once in the past month by him whimpering, muttering, and sometimes crying in his sleep. Two days ago Reid woke up yelling his sister's name.
Lola knew how Spencer felt. The sense of utter helplessness was what got to him the most. If there was a trail, a clue, any tiny fucking thing for them to hold onto he at least wouldn't feel so useless like he was letting Bastiana down. The woman who always protected them and succeeded despite every obstacle that had been thrown at her, but they couldn't find her in one tiny tin-can, shithole of a New York. Lola knew that the other siblings felt the same way.
Lola spoke with Logan, Dana, and Michael about their spouses and the things were much worst than Lola thought she knew. At first, they were angry, Lola knew what people were starting to think. Maybe she had just taken off somewhere, perhaps the blood was unrelated. Bunch of fucking idiots. Sonny had nearly torn the town down looking for her and was looking older by the hour it seemed. Somebody had taken her. They had made her bleed and then taken her away. Neal wept quietly in private, he didn't know if he had the right to mourn his beautiful sister after all the bad thing he told her, Lola knew that Dana was tried everything to help him and Neal tried to act normal around Dana because of her pregnancy but when his wife leaves the house the young man sobs at the sight of Bastiana`s picture.
Contrary to popular belief, Mike was not an idiot. Sure, he wasn't some kind of genius like Spencer, but he wasn't stupid. Not by a long shot. Especially when it came to understanding people. Especially people close to him. And somehow, on the list of people who Mike cared about, Bastiana's name was near the top. They fight, they got each other nerves but they are family. He couldn't' stop sobbing. He was crying even though he was drained of his tears.
And yet his shoulders wouldn't stop shaking and he wouldn't stop gasping for breath.
Then suddenly he stopped and smiled. He felt foolish.
Wait, why was he crying over nothing?Bastiana was much alive. He was just playing with them. They'd laugh about it tomorrow. No, first he'd slap her along the head. Then they'd laugh.
And then he'd hit her again. He nodded to himself.
Bastiana wasn't dead. She had just vanished for a while. Played a mean joke on them. She wanted to see their reactions if she were to die.
Mike smiled at himself in the mirror and wiped his tear-stained cheeks.
Concern showed clearly on Lola's face as she watched Mike smiles from the other side of the room. The young woman knew that from all the siblings' Mike was in more pain than the others. This was hitting him even harder. The young lawyer was angry at himself for all the cruel words which he told to his sister, was angry at the world which dares to take Bastiana away from him before he could beg for forgiveness, tears spilled from him.
Lola walks out of the house toward the garden feeling to her knees at the thirty-sixth step, sobbing. She was sobbing loudly in her palms as she hugged her a pillow which she stole from the living room, her heart was breaking over and over and she couldn't get the grief to stop hurting, she drank a glass of wine and thinking about Bastiana. The lawyer who fight armies and demons for her family, the woman who stood in front of them like a shield, the sister who always be there for them. All Lola wanted was for her heart to stop breaking constantly, she felt like a heap of pieces and it was destroying her inside as she could feel Logan's arms hugging her and she felt like she was not alone. She sobbed and sobbed until some person walking by made a snide remark." Bastiana is too much pain in the ass to die."
To the other side of the house, Spencer turns his head so that he is looking out of the window, staring with unseeing eyes at the houses and quiet streets. They've been driving around like this for at least an hour, drifting through the neighborhood after neighbourhood of typical suburbia.
Tony doesn't notice any of it, heedless of everything including the tears that steak his cheeks. The young doctor doesn't notice any of it, heedless of everything including the tears that steak his cheeks.
It's been a hell of a day.
Scratch that, it's been worse. His idea of what happens when things go to hell in a handbasket.
He had known, from the moment he had received the first phone call from Erin , he had expected things to go from bad to worse, and they certainly had.
First was the bight fight in her office, then Mike went to the hospital and now Bastiana was missing. Their family was cursed.
The voice, filled with concern, breaks into his thoughts.
'You ok?'
Reid shakes his head. 'No,' he whispers. 'I-'
He stops, mid-sentence, not even sure of what he wants to say. Only then does he realize that they are no longer driving. A hand covers his, fingers twining together, and Reid is grateful for the comforting touch. He turns his head to see the concern, the tenderness in the cool brown eyes that are focused solely on him.
'Talk to me.' Dana urges gently. Reid takes a deep, shuddering breath, unsure of how to phrase the words, how to confide the secret that has haunted him for as long as he can remember. It's not just that he's… different.
Reid takes a breath, lets it out slowly."I was aware that Badtiana had never abandoned us."
Spencer is tense. This is something he has never told anyone." When I eas ten I heard an agreement between Sonny and Neal..."
He laughs is mirthless.
" When Bastiana showed up in our lives, I decided to hate her because she did not fight to be with us"
Reid doesn't realize he is crying again until Dana turns to face him, brushing the tears away with her thumbs."She is Bastiana fucking Wolf. No one dare to cross her."
"I have to look after you"
"And what do you think my job is?"
"What?"
Reid doesn't think he will be over the complete and utter shock on Bastiana's face when she whispered 'What?'. It was like this thought had even crossed her mind. Bastiana never let herself think of someone looking out for her ..Let alone her brothers.
"It's our fault for Bastiana's condition.' Reid's voice is rough, filled with an anger that he can barely suppress. 'She didn't deserve to suffer like this.'
'It was a long time ago,' Dana answers honestly. 'You made peace with her years ago"
"You guys love her."She says simply."Out of the people who have walked in and out of your lives- more out than in- the other occupant of the car is the one who means the most, the one whose approval, affection, matters the most… the one person that your guys would gladly, willingly, give your lives life for."
"You don't get it"Sonny snapped at Barba.
Sonny couldn't stand the cold and sad aura around their house and ran out of it. He found himself in Barba's office knowing that the lawyer will be at home but to his surprised Barb was still in his office.
Barba looked up at him, "You alright? You look like you could use a drink", he stood up and got a bottle of whiskey from the desk and glasses. Sonny took a sip and muttered a "Thanks".
Carisi had noticed Barba was eyeing him up and down, he was never very slick about his attraction towards the detective, and Sonny knew for the last couple of months. But he was married and love his husband.
"So," Barba started again, taking another sip of his drink. "How are things at home, Sonny?"
"I. It's complicated." Was all he was getting."We are falling apart, Bastiana is missing and everyone is falling apart."He took another sip of his drink.
Maybe it was the whiskey, or maybe it was because he was unhappy. But something in the detective made him lean forward towards the lawyer, their lips almost touching.
Barba stared at his lips as he licked his own, "We shouldn't do this-.." he muttered slightly. This made Sonny move away, "Yeah, we shouldn't.."
"You have a husband!" says simply. His green eyes are calmer now.
"Who I care about." he reminds Barba gently.
So he plastered on a fake smile that he hoped would become genuine over time and asked "Does he make you happy?" because at the end that was all that really mattered. Barba had lost his chance with Sonny, but that didn't stop the feelings he had for him.
The smile Sonny gave in return, the clear adoration written on his feature, was enough of an answer before he even opened his mouth.
"He makes me laugh, and he's kind, kinder than he wants people to know and on bad days he always listens to me, always tries to make me feel better. I hope you find someone like that, Barba, you deserve it. You deserve to be happy" And when Sonny said it Barba almost believed it, even if he felt he had lost his chance.
Walking out of the office Sonny's pulled out his phone trying to reach his older brother, Neal.
Bottle in hand, Neal walked quietly. Wilting flowers were scatted in various stages of decay, a stark contrast against the burned ground. He made his way through the long silent path to his parents' grave.
James and Nina Ross
Loving children, friends, and parents
Neal scoffed at the last word. It had been too long since Neal or someone from his siblings excluded Mike had visited their parents` grave. He knew he should visit more, but the truth is told, he hated coming here. The tall, dark statues loomed over him, countless names on countless headstones signally an endless cycle of grief screaming out at him. The cemetary always seemed cold and dark, even in the middle of summer, like somehow someone had turned out the sun, and it always made his breath catch in his throat for a moment.
"I was not a good brother," he whispered, placing the fresh daisies on top of their grave.
"We are falling apart. I Think Mike starts again to use and Spencer finds peace only with his books putting Lola to the corner and Sonny wants to kill everyone."
He never knew what else to say. It always felt odd talking to a headstone, telling it about his life. It felt too cold, too impersonal, too without his parents' warm touch, and the more time that passed, the more Neal felt like a failure. He hadn't moved up in the world, only down, and the thought of their disappointment was often too much to bare.
"I lost my self walking the same hate-path with my brothers against my own twin sister."He blurted out."I blinded from my own happines and could not see how my sister was suffered, she gives up everything for us and I just stand next to my brothers cursed, and ignored her."
Oh my god."Neal cries. He wasn't Catholic. He wasn't Protestant. Not anymore. Yes, he was raised as a religious mother but well, life taught him differently. He had seen many comrades fall and every time he thought it was God's plan. That those great guys had died for a good reason, for God's reason.
"I swear the god If we take our sister back, we will let her live her life."He gently whispered."Even if we must see her walks away from us."
From the other side of the cemetery, Peter sighed looking at the single on his phone which shows him where Neal was. The agent and his wife were worried about Neal and his brothers after all the things had happened. Walking through the cemetery he saw, just a little way up the hill, hair somehow managing to catch the only speck of sun this place had to offer, was Neal, clear as day, and Peter's heart seized.
For a moment, he considered walking away, leaving Neal to whatever it was that he hadn't felt ready to share with Peter. But he could see the way Neal's shoulders slumped forward from where he was standing, and before he could think better of it he was making his way over.
"Fancy seeing you here," he said lightly, not surprised when Neal jumped at the sound of his voice.
''Why are you here?''Neal asked focusing all his attention on the older man
Peter only hesitated a moment, before he leaned forward.''I worried about you''
Neal blinked a few times as if he were trying to clear his vision. ''Leave''
''Neal..'' The agent started, obviously was about to calm him down, but was cut off by a really angry brother.
''I don't care why are you here'' Neal scowling disapprovingly at him. ''My sister is gone and you re here to show me your fake concern because I decided to stop helping you with the Pink Panthers''
Neal feels desperate, heartbroken, and angry; he can feel that familiar sensation in the back of his throat, but this time, he doesn't even attempt to swallow down the tears that fight their way out. Neal doesn't bother wiping them away either because he knows there are still lots to come.
"You care for me" Neal growled at him, looking two seconds away from smiting the agent."You didn't care when you made your reaching for me family or you tried to make a plan to got the Pink Panthers behind the bars knowing that I have a pregnant wife and a freaking family waiting for me at home.''
At that moment Neal collapsed onto the ground, a hysteria of sobs and yells. He was ranting endlessly, "Peter my sister Peter we have to find her! Peter! How… BASTIANA" as he sobbed. Peter went to comfort the man, when suddenly Neal clung to Peter, his arms wrapped around the older man. Peter hugged him back, ignoring the fact that in the right mind Neal would never think of offering that kind of touch. Neal sobbed into Peter's shoulder for several minutes as the noise died down.
"It's okay…shhh" Peter soothed, pulling Neal into a hug.
They sat in silence. Not needing to say anything.
"Neal, you need to get up."
As much as Peter wanted to let his friend lay there as long as he needed, he had to take Neal away from here. When Neal ignored him, still staring at the sky, Peter extended a hand towards him. Neal still ignored him at first, but then reached his hand out to take Peter's. Peter pulled the man up, slowly, so that he was in a standing position. He noticed how bad Neal's trembling was, and also noted that his hands were cold and clammy. Neal had tear lines running down his face. Peter recalled him once telling Neal that if he cried, he would simply give him a slug on the shoulder and tell him to cowboy up. But Neal was beyond just crying. He had been sobbing. And now he had a distant look as if he were in another world. Peter waved a hand in front of Neal's face. Neal slowly turned his head to face Peter.
''Bastiana!''He whispered.
"Let's go, Neal," Peter said. He went to take the wine bottle from the con's hands, but Neal looked at him with panic in his eyes and pulled the bottle out of Peter's reach. Peter decided to let him hold onto it and led Neal away from the scene with his hand on the man's shoulder. When they were about to turn towards the parking lot, where Peter's Taurus was waiting, Neal turned around once more and let out a small whimper.
Peter looked at the man with immense sympathy, and gently guided him back on track to the car.
Once they were safely in the car, Peter looked at Neal, who had not yet buckled his seatbelt. He was simply staring at the bottle in his hands, turning it over and over, slowly reading the label each time.
''Bastiana and I are twins but we have a different personality besides love for money, expensive cars, drink, clothes, and sarcasm. When we were younger waking up early to paint and to prepare pranks for our siblings but I was do not sleep the nights because the moon affected me and I was reading books. She and I have a particular bond that only Bastina can understand me, I do love my family but they are very hard to deal with. I can't be around them for too long before I go mad. It was like this when we were children, the fighting and bickering and all the noise. Bastiana and I used to run away into the woods and hide, where it was silent and still, looking and just beginning to understand the books that Edith gifted to us. Our mother teaching the two of us to read was one of the kindest gestures she ever made towards the two of us. Not that there were many. She was too busy with Mike, her golden boy, her baby, to deal with the rest of us.''
There was a tense silence then.
'We got tattoos at the age of fifteen and one of our family did not know it until one day our cousin Chloe told our parents. They were told that it was a shame to mark our body and my mother said that it was not right for a woman to have a tattoo, I laughed at that time and she was ready to hit her but I was Bastiana's hero with the glamorous armor and I stopped her. We refused to cover up them but our parents did not want our neighbors to gossip about us and for that, the day of our adulthood gave us a gift the sun and the moon amulet. But we will never wear it unless we lose our parents''
Peter stood behind his wife, and through the mirror, he could see the pain in her eyes had in them. 'When the grandmother kicked her out of the house and kept her away from me felt like I lost everything and Peter...''
The younger man turned to The agent and said with a whisper. 'I do not want to feel that feeling again''
Peter drove on autopilot to his house. He guided Neal inside, who was still staring at the bottle. Once safely inside, he called El to come downstairs. When she did, she noticed the crazed look on her husband's face and was immediately concerned.
"Honey, what happened?"
"El, watch Neal. I have to go call in what just happened and I don't want him to hear me."
"What did just happen?" El asked, panicking.
"I'll explain in a minute. I'm going to go make the call. Don't try talking to Neal, he won't respond." Peter said before leaving the room.
El had no idea what was happening. But it was obvious that it wasn't good. Neal was still standing where Peter had left him, staring down at a wine bottle.
"Neal, would you like to sit?" Elizabeth offered. Neal didn't even blink.
Elizabeth walked over to him and gently guided him to the couch, where he slowly sat. The entire time his eyes were locked on the bottle. El sat on his left. When he finally looked up, he seemed dazed. She held back a gasp when she realized his eyes were filled with tears. His hair was sticking out everywhere, and there were lines of ashes sweeping across his face. His body was visibly trembling, especially his hands, which were trying their best to keep their grip on the wine bottle.
''My sister!''He whispered to her, his voice broken. He sounded like a small child.
Peter walks out of the living room trying to get his shit together. He had witnessed Neal to a breakdown in a cemetery in front of hiparent'sts graves, the heartbreak he saw in Neal at the cemetery was torture. The Neal Caffrey smile could charm everyone within a mile; just like that heartbroken expression on Neal's face could shatter those same people's hearts.
Unknowing to Neal, the agent had tried to contact with everyone, he's been making numerous calls, contacting with FBI, CIA, NCIS, everyone he can. He needs to get Neal back in.
So far, nothing's working. It's a closed book, the FBI has shut everyone out of Bastiana Wolf's case. Peter can't tell Neal he's working on it though.
If he does, Neal will get hope. And hope makes Neal desperate. Careless and distracted. He becomes dangerous and Mozzie can't risk that. Not yet.
Walking toward the living room he heard ''"Why? Why can't I have the life I wanted? What's the point? I don't want to live like this?"
Those words unanchored Peter's feet, and he rushed to where Elizabeth was, ready to kneel himself in front of Neal and offer comfort.
''I just wanted out! Why doesn't anyone care about what I want? No one ever cared about what I want!" Neal's childhood begins coming back to him. Then the abandonment he'd felt throughout getting conned, and the heartbreak. "I just wanted out," Neal whispers finally.
"Peter, what is going on?" Elizabeth asked from next to Neal; who had gone back to staring at his bottle.
''You know that Neal's sister is kidnapped'' Peter said as gently as possible.''It has been passed one week and people think that..''
"And what?" Elizabeth asked, getting up and walking over to her husband.
Peter kept his voice low, although with how out-of-it Neal was he assumed he wouldn't hear them anyway.
''They believe that Bastiana is dead'' He finally said. El had disbelief and shock painted across her face.''I tried to track Neal down and I found him at a cemetery at his parent graves..''
''You think that Bastiana is..''
''Dead'' Peter finished.
It was then that Neal looked up; obviously, he had been listening.
"Peter?" Neal asked quietly, his voice somewhat raspy from crying.
"Yeah, Neal?" Peter answered, sure that his face was covered in nothing but sympathy and pity for the younger man.
"Can I go home now?"
Peter was shocked at how young Neal sounded. He sounded like an eight-year-old child who wasn't having any fun at a birthday party; miserable.
Elizabeth gave Peter a look that said, 'there is no way you're letting him leave'. Peter understood and said, "Absolutely not. You can take the guest room tonight."
Normally Neal would protest, and when his mouth began to open Peter was sure he would, but Neal only closed his mouth again and nodded. The poor man had no fight left in him.
"I swear if he loses a fucking hair on his head I will rip your lungs out," Carisi growled at the phone ignoring the protest of Peter.
"Where the fuck is he?"Dana shouted suddenly running toward him.
"He is fine," Sonny said bitterly. "He will stay with Agent Brooke at the night and tomorrow morning he will be here for breakfast"
"Where is everyone"
"Lola took Spencer home while Logan with Michael pulled Mike off the couch and took him with them at Chief Dodds."Dana moved to stand directly in front of him. "What the fuck we are going to do, Sonny!"
"You know that technically Bastiana is the leader of the family, right?" Dana nodded carefully with a confused frown. "And if she is not there, you and Neal take the wheel, you know that too?"
"I know it. Still don't get it." Dana pierced her lips at that. "Neal I can understand why. Me on the other hand, not so much."
"You are his wife and I need you to lead us instead of Neal now," Sonny announced bluntly making Dana blinked dumbly at him.
"What?"
"You heard me."
"Sonny, I can't. I am not the leader type."
"You are a freaking lawyer. You did pretty well."
"Yeah, when there's trial involved. The situation we are in right now, definitely not my area. It's yours. I will just screw it up."
"Neal is in no shape, Dana." Sonny admitted looking down."Neal can barely stand up without feeling pain in his heart. Logan thinks that Mike is using again and Spencer is losing himself in books.."He looked up at Dana. "Believe it or not, you are more capable than me at locking away your emotions. In my case, if it got too much it starts leaking into my actions. I will ruin everything again. I need you to take the wheel in this. So, we could bring her back."
Dana contemplated him silently for a few seconds before coming to a decision. "We will do it together then. I will have your back and you will have mine, like always. This is the only way we can deal with this."
"Yeah. Yeah, I can work with this." Sonny nodded feeling relieved at not having to carry the responsibility alone. "Thanks."
"What is family for"
''The unsub stroke the perfect target'' Rossi thought looking at the board with the pictures of the family. Everyone has seen the interaction of the four and is terrifying because they are the perfect group or family.
Bastiana Wolf the admiring.
Dominic Carisi the faithful
Spencer Reid the smart.
Neal Caffrey the loyal.
Mike Ross the compassionate.
They complement each other.
Where Bastiana is merciless Mike, reminds her that she is human.
When Neal crosses the line, Bastiana reminds him that there are laws and regulations.
When Mike is naive, Spencer reminds him that it is bad in the world.
When Spencer is losing his mind, Mike reminds him that he is not alone.
When Sonny is losing his faith, the other reminds him that he is loved.
It had been two weeks since the lawyer disappeared and almost everyone had thought that the woman was dead as no woman had managed to stay alive for more than five days. They all worked overtime in an attempt to find the woman, avoided mentioning the young doctor's name or contacting him, Garcia tried once but came face to face with an angry secretary. Rossi knew that many people protected the family and what impressed him was Very Special Antony Dinozzo.
The young man had tried with great effort to keep a secret and nothing betrayed him except fear in his eyes when the name of the lawyer was mentioned. He knew that the woman and the young man had a past but he did not know what, and he did not want to mention it in front of his friend and colleague as he was jealous of Harvey Specter.
Speaking of Hotch, he tried to keep his face neutral during the case, but Rossi could see the emotional pain he was in; the man has been doing a terrible job trying to hide his interest, but it's pretty much obvious to anyone with eyes he has feelings for Bastiana Wolf. He was more cold and stoic than usual and get angry at the newspapers. Over the news had been a photo of the woman and the truth about her family, Reid almost shot an officer who spoke to a reporter about Bastiana and her relationship with the BAU. The world knows that Reid, Neal, Mike, Sonny, and Bastiana were family, something that no one should know. People spoke about her love life and Rossi had been amused with Hotch's jealousy.
Morgan said, "I pulled her phone records and there are no patterns of incoming or outgoing calls that would suggest anything unusual."
"Did she have another phone?"
Prentiss answered, "Not that we find of."
Hotch stared at the cell phone records on the plasma screen, painfully aware that his two remaining agents were waiting for him to give the order.
"What about her routine?"
Morgan punched on his keyboard and redirected his data to the plasma and continued, "Miss Wolf is a creature of habit; in fact, there are few things that she does every day, let alone at the same time. Near as I can piece together, she awakens any time at 5 pm. She goes for a run. Based on credit card purchases, she buys a newspaper, coffee, or salad. She arrives to work, first of everyone. At work, she makes few personal phone calls but receives many, which she mostly ignores. A search of her computer indicates she spends much of her time researching everything from terrorists' activities to the Mafia. In the past six months, she has done follow up checks on 90% of the people she has put in jail. She likes to keep tabs on those who might hold a grudge. she leaves work anytime and midnight, if she leaves here at all. She never stops for lunch or dinner; She goes to a local bar. Lots of people text her wanting to hook up; few people get her attention. I do not know what time she goes to sleep, but according to surveillance cameras at Wolf-Wilson, she will often arrive back at the office anytime between midnight and 4 am, do some work, and then leave again."
Hotch stared at a frozen frame of Bastiana's nighttime activities in the office. He pulled his phone out and dialed Garcia, putting it on the loudspeaker.
"Hello you are through to the queen of everything, how may I help you?" Prentiss let out a small giggle.
"Garcia, its Hotch. Could you look at the debit and credit card records of Miss Wolf?" Typing could be heard on the other side of the phone.
"I'm on it now, sir. What about phone records?" She pried.
"Morgan dealt with it, nothing unusual. I want to to find something that is out of Bastiana' ls character" Hotch said, his voice still in the same tone as it had been throughout.
"Uh…" the sound of Garcia's keyboard filled the phone"According to the credit card, she bought a pair of shoes, a full spa's pack.."
"Oh no..."She mumbled.
"Baby girl!"Morgan said it loud enough that he could be heard in the bullpen."What did you get for us?"
The silence through the phone annoyed Hotch. The man had not been happy without the lawyer safe, and if Hotch wasn't happy, neither was anyone within a two-point five-mile radius of him, which included not only his team but a lot of the BAU special agents in the building, wasn't happy!. Hotch had nearly made Anderson wet his pants, during the case just two days before. The young had naively made a redundant remark about some statistic he'd read about unsub with love obsession and deaths,
and Hotch had laid into him like a bulldog with a bone.
"She bought a ticket for Italy" Garcia's voice softened
There was silence for a moment until Rossi cleared his throat. "Thanks, Garcia."He said as he hung up the phone.
Prentiss let out a long sigh, "The half condo is empty!
Hotch thought for a minute before answering, "Rossi I want you to speak with Captian Beson about questioning the family while Prentiss, you, and Morgan will go to speak with ske former clients f Miss Wolf."Hotch was starting to shake again. He looked at the bloody photo of the dead body in front of him fully knew that the man that did this, has Bastiana. He could easily kill her but for some reason, he hasn't yet. That fact should ease his stress, but it just made him worry more.. If he hasn't killed Bastiana yet, then he must have something else planned for her.
Morgan went to leave but paused, looking back at Hotch, "Are you going to be okay, man? This must be hard for you."
''Why does everyone keep saying that? I hate profilers sometimes..'' Hotch thought before nodding and giving Morgan a stoic glare.
Over the next couple of weeks Bastiana gradually adjusted to her new life, Woodford gave her everything she asked for, except for her freedom, she was never allowed to leave the house. Each night she joined Monroe for dinner, they mostly ate in silence, the man had given up on the mostly one-sided conversation after the first couple of nights.
She wants to see her family. She missed Mike`s smile and Sonny`s laugh missed the way Neal looks at her and Spencer`s useless statistics. Bastiana missed when Dana and she hung out in her office after a long day at court and Lola's wedding plans or Michael and her boxing at the gym and missed Logan cooking. Her family would instinctively know, she hoped, that Bastiana would never just up and disappear on them...again.
A small tear rolled down her rosy cheek before she could wipe it. The sound of the bathroom door opening snapped her out of memory lane and she straightened herself. She furiously wiped her eyes to remove any signs of tears. Alan came our wearing pants with the belt buckle hanging loose, and the shirt unbuttoned. His chest glistened with moisture from the shower and he looked undeniably hot. But she was too worried to notice anything. He noticed her tense posture and walked towards her. She shrunk back into the bed, a failed attempt to escape what was coming.
"What's wrong?" He asked. His hand gently brushed her silky brown locks away from her cheek.
"Nothing." She quickly said. "Nothing." She desperately repeated.
"Hmm." He said. "What were you thinking about?"
"I… I was thinking about you. And what I plan to do today." She said with a forced smile. The hand that was brushing her hair tugged the strands furiously, emitting a scream of pain from her. Her head was thrown back because of the pull on her hair.
"What did I say about lying?" He asked in a venomously kind voice, a sick smile gracing his lips.
"That… I shouldn't lie… to you." She whimpered in fear and pain.
"Right. Now, what were you thinking about?" He asked again, tugging her hair slightly more, the smile never waning.
"My family." Her voice was lower than a whisper, and she hoped he hadn't heard her. She breathed in relief when his grip on her hair loosened.
"See. That wasn't so hard." He smiled. Her body relaxed. So he wasn't going to hurt her anymore. But she was wrong. As soon as she dropped her guard, he pulled her neck with such force that her head hit the headboard behind her. She screamed in shock and pain, but he wasn't done yet. He firmly held her chin between his fingers and pulled her face forward, closer to his.
" I can`t understand why you care about them after all the things that they have done and told to you, they call you names and hit you. They left you alone for years, they used you without giving something in return. Why you love them.?"He spat, nostrils flared in anger. His fingers crushed her soft pale skin and she knew she would be supporting a bruise as a remainder.
They were so close she could feel his breath on her face. He was looking at her with the same expression on his face that had been there when she'd thrown herself in front of a gun for her brother.
Suddenly, he smiled. Surprised, she took a step back. Had she made a major mistake in being honest with him? She made to step back further but the back of her legs caught on the bed and she fell backward, only to be caught in his arms and dragged against his chest. His eyes were gleaming. This couldn't be good. "Brave little soldier, aren't you?" He was using that low, seductive tone of voice on her. She hated the tingle that rode up her spine. His arms were wrapped around her waist, their bodies pressed firmly together. She tried to wriggle free of him and her thigh brushed his groin which was - oh, well - at least somebody was enjoying this. Her eyes widened as she felt his hardness press against her thigh, he just looked hungry - like he hadn't eaten in days and she was a steak dinner.
"Let me go." She spat at him, pushing at his chest. Finally, he did, shaking his head as if to clear it.
"We'll continue this conversation later." He told her before abruptly turning and leaving the room.
It felt odd to be going through all Bastiana`s things, packing her boss` office away into boxes. The office is filled with bare corners and wide open space. All gone, the lounge chairs and tea table and rugs and paintings and bookshelves and now, even Bastiana's desk is being picked up by two burly men in overalls, as they shuffle the empty desk out Bastiana`s office door.
Amy and Travis had been not excited at the prospect of moving, but they knew Bastiana wanted to leave so they pack everything away. And they never forgot the option Bastiana never come back to them...alive. But now faced with the reality of leaving the first home they'd built together behind an odd sense of melancholy had set in.
She breathed out a small sigh, abandoning her current project in favor of stepping into Bastiana`s office. It was familiar and inviting, and smelled of scotch and musk, purely her.
She sat down on the floor in front of their filing cabinet, separate to Bastiana's work things, a sudden need to see the documents of her life laid out before her, confirmation this was real, that it wasn't slipping away. It always seemed, whenever vulnerability struck, whenever melancholy got its hands on her, she suddenly felt as though everything would be taken out from under her and she would be left floating, alone and untethered.
She let her fingers dance over each document; birth certificates, graduation certificates, important accolades. When she got to them the most precious thing of her bass Amy couldn't help the smile that formed on her face, a warmth filling her up, chasing the demons away. She was surprised she'd never thought to look before, had never pulled them out to marvel at the wonder of Bastiana be in love.
Her smile faltered as her eyes fell on the words, slipping to a frown as she pulled the page from the plastic, examining it closer.
Dear love of mine
Okay...I wrote these when I was a little drunk...honestly, I had a few drinks before this, but let's just hope this goes well
You won't read this.
Just like the hundreds of words I've sent you before. You'll skim. Answer selectively. Ignore the rest. But, I can't ignore yours. The same words that sprinkle hope on my heart. The words that rip my heart into pieces. The words that pIece my heart back together. And repeat.
You won't read this
Lately, I've found myself thinking back to my darkest days. Days when it was more normal than not to feel tears fall down my cheeks. There were mornings where I'd save putting on my mask because I couldn't help but cry for you. And then there were mornings where I wouldn't even bother with a mask at all.
You won't read this.
Not because you don't care about me, you do. I believe that much. And not because there is someone else. What I have to say is no longer important to you. I haven't moved on. I could not move on from you. You were the only person who sees through my broken soul and my mask and my playboy facade.
Thank you for all the reasons I have to love you. Thank you for your smile, and your laughter, your passion, and your fears. Thank you for showing me the beautiful truth of your naked soul.
I never understand why you left or maybe I do. You were afraid to let himself be loved and free and maybe that's why we grew apart. Maybe the universe didn't want us together, so it did everything to separate us into two different worlds. Now the only way to I know get you out of my kind is to keep a bottle so close to try and leave it all behind but I couldn't get enough I was drowning in drunken love.
And maybe now you have a new moon but I still can't forget the way you said you had always seen the stars in my eyes.
I think the hardest part of losing someone isn't having to say goodbye but rather learning to live without them. Always trying, to fill the void, the emptiness that's left when they went.
Today I was you. And it wasn't like before. Before is over, before cannot ever come back. We're in the present now, where we pretend that 'us' had never even existed.
Ι know you probably don't want to hear this... But I need to tell you
I love you
The only person who truly knows you,
B.W
The letter fell from Amy's hand and drifted down to join the others on the floor. The secretary just stood there at a complete loss. For almost the first time in her life, she had no idea what to do or how to feel. Rage and fear had flooded her system. Fear for Bastiana, and rage for her brothers, after all, because of them Bastiana's was angry, cold, and loveless.
Amy gets to grab the letter but froze as she realized there was a photo. The air rushed out of her lungs as if she had just been punched in the stomach. Her eyes dilated, her mouth went dry, and without consent, her eyes been fulled of tears.
Her boss was sitting on a manned lab. Amy was astonished at the gentle and pleasing smile that Bastiana had and the secretary struck with a powerful surprise looking at the eyes of her boss which were full of love and kindness while the man grinned like the happiest man in the world, up at Bastiana.
Amy faltered, tears cascading down her cheeks. Bastiana had been loved and clearly, she loves him back but why she left him?.
Seriously?. Maybe the people think Bastian is a selfish person but why did Bastiana always think about them first instead of herself?.
Not many people know the truth behind the relationship between Amy and Bastiana. Amy has been knowing Bastiana before becoming a Wolf because she used to babysit her and her twin brother, the Very Special Agent Antony Dinozzo, Mike and Travis knew the truth after all Mike was her former boss and the lawyer was her boyfriend. The only thing that they don't know is that Bastian had adopted Amy and Antony years ago, it was better for everyone to be a secret their relationship, especially that her brother was an Agent. (I will have a story based on this thought after this function will end)
"Amy, are you here?" Travis' voice called from the door. The woman hears footsteps could be heard, heavy on the stairs. When he moved into the room he stopped in front of her. His expression spoke of his shock to see his girlfriend so undone, even under the circumstances. She looked worse than he'd ever seen her, even when he'd delivered her the news.
"Travis," The young woman choked out the word. "She was in love." She finally managed to get out. Travis stared at her for a moment before sitting heavily on the dust-coated floor. She needn't say anything more as a grim look passed across the man's face. He gestured for the letters and took a moment surveying around the room coming face to face with emptiness. . Despite taking a deep breath to brace himself, Travis was unsure whether he could read these aloud.
My light,
I have imagined spending a lifetime with you. I have thought of being with you and being yours in every conceivable way. I have dreamt of moments where you are you and I met, and somehow, by the glace of the universe, we finally end up together. But for now, my fantasies will have to do?. All the lies. I tell me I will have to satisfy my needs. You're not mine. Oh, but how I wish you were
Your only and one love,
B.W
He swallowed hard and gazed at the secretary who staring blankly off into the wall. "What we are going to do?"The woman asked after a while staring at the dark sky absentmindedly.
"I will give them the letters"He announced
"No way!" Amy stared at him with wide eyes."We can't do that"
"And why not?"The lawyer demanded impatiently, glaring at the secretary.
"Bastiana wanted.."
"Bastiana wanted to give them after her death because the letters have cruel truths that the brothers must hear."He said suddenly, looking at Amy seriously."She was afraid that if the letters go to their hands while she was alive, the brothers will hate her because of them."
They sat in comfortable silence for a while, then it was broken when Travis sighed."We need to stop all the thing with the kid gloves"
Amy also sighed but Travis just squeezed her hand.
An hour later Bastiana sat on the window seat staring outside. The second he had left the room she had begun searching, ideally for a way to get the hell out of here but failing that, something she could use as a weapon.
Bastiana felt fragile, powerless, weak, more so now than at any point during her two weeks as his prisoner. She had made her way back to her room and locked the door with a chair in an attempt to feel safer. It wasn't working. She hated him for touching her, she hated that there was nothing she could do about it, and she hated herself for being so weak, for feeling so afraid.
She shakily walked to her bed, still fully clothed she crawled under the covers and tucked herself into a ball, tears freely fell as she tried not to think of the events of the day, as she tried to think of anything else. It was early dawn before she finally fell into an exhausted sleep, only to wake a couple of hours later, shaken and sweaty.
She woke shaken and sweaty, the light was streaming in through a gap in her curtains, she guessed it to be early morning; she felt like she hadn't slept at all, her body ached, when she had managed to drift off, her sleep had been broken and filled with dark dreams, watching her father die in her arms, her families faces as she had been taken away to her assumed death, her brothers slowly drifting away as they had been begging her not to leave, and finally Alan as he forced her body against him and pinning her against the table. She closed her eyes again, trying to will the images from her mind and to fall into a peaceful sleep but a quiet tapping kept her from it.
She realized the sound had been what had first woken her, she thought about ignoring it, but the knocker was persistent. She pulled herself from her bed and went to open the door. Straight away she noticed her guards were new, they were older than the last two by a few years and they both looked more dedicated to their jobs, they actually paid attention to her when she opened the door; the knocker turned out to be another soldier, when she turned her head to look at him he cleared his throat, "Mister Woodford would like to see…"
The same women who had come to help her, she had since learned her name was Beth, she was still as kind to her.
She knew that Alan would never try to touch her again, although the whole event had shaken her up more than she cared to admit, she had seen the look of disgust on his face at his actions, how quickly his anger had turned onto himself; and now that she knew why she was still alive, she was going to use it to her advantage.
"After your bath, Mister Woodford asks that you join him for a late breakfast," Beth confessed emerging from her bathroom, she looked apologetic, not for the first time Bastiana believe that Beth's affection for her was genuine.
She smiled back and nodded, as she did she saw a look of disgust across Beth's face, "Your neck," she exclaimed, "what happened to your neck?" she asked.
The lawyer walked to the bathroom and looked in the mirror, clear finger marks were bruised into her neck from where Alan had grabbed her, as she went to examine them she noticed her wrists were also bruised, she hated him, she hated that he had marked her; that he had imprinted himself onto her skin and that it was there for everyone to see; she felt nauseous but even more determined, he was going to pay for all that he had done to her and her family.
Beth was standing in the doorway watching her, "Miss Wolf?"
"I'm fine, tell Woodford I'll be at breakfast."
She re-examined herself in the mirror again once she had dressed, her blouse covered the marks on her wrist but did little to hide those on her neck, she thought about changing but decided to leave them for him to see, thinking it would help her get what she wanted.
She went downstairs and walked into the dining room, finding it empty but the door out to the patio open, she hesitated before walking over, Woodford was seated outside at a small table; breakfast layout on a buffet table off to the side.
They were looking out over a small walled-in garden, "You should come out here when you want, you have my permission." His voice once again calm and controlled, nothing to even suggest he had lost control last time they were together, but he hadn't looked at her yet, so when she joined him at the table, she saw his eyes darken at the sight of her neck, and the man facade falls away.
"Bastiana…" His voice seemed to be filled with genuine concern.
"Enough" she demanded. The scene was oddly domestic as he got up to pull her chair out for her. Their eyes briefly met as she reached him. There was something in his gaze that left her feeling unsettled like he was probing into her thoughts where she didn't want him going, she quickly looked away.
The door immediately opened and breakfast was served to them. There were eggs, bacon, sausages, even toast. And coffee. "
"You are one of kind" he replies all calm and controls again, the facade firmly back in place.
"I'm not here to pretend that you're just a nice guy from the next door. I'm here to negotiate for my family. Or what's left of it anyway. So don't give me that crap."
She watched something dark moving over his face and a flash of anger in those deep blue eyes. Which now seemed almost black for the dim lights of the candles.
"They are bad for you," Alan said, dissatisfied with her answer. "They think that they know what you are. That inside you're just cold emotionless psychopath. Who loves to see others suffer and crawl in the dirt for her. That you're just a paranoid megalomaniac."
A dangerous silence fell. He saw the hurt in her eyes and his eyes glazed a bit. Bastiana couldn't look at him anymore. She was almost crying herself and didn't want him to see it. She was vulnerable enough.
"But I know the real you."The man said."You are beautiful and kind. Strong. Intelligent. Stubborn. Hot. Beautiful when firing your shotgun at the court. Dangerous. Reckless. Even."He paused as soon as he said it, inwardly wincing."You have scars but a queen will always turn pain into power"
She laughed, but it was cold and mocking.
"You boys are pathetic"
"What?"
"Everyone says that they fall in love with me."She told him honestly, "Love makes us sick, haunts your dreams, destroys our days. Love has killed more than many might think that it makes me sound heartless or cold but I'm just trying to protect what little bit of my heart that I have left."
He couldn't help but laugh"One upon a time you were in love''
''Shut your mouth'' Bastiana was staring at him with deep anger.
It was at an amazing speed how he rose from his seat and went after her. Bastiana was lucky to even get up, but she was ready to defend herself. She pulled the steak knife at his throat, but Alan grabbed her hand before she had the time to hurt him. Stopping just in front of her.
She watched his eyes seethe rage not far from hers. If the man had squeezed her hand any harder, she wondered if the bones in her arm start to crackle like dry twigs under the pressure.
She wondered if he was going to kill her when he suddenly broke into laughter. She was so ready to fight that she winced, scared of the sudden sound.
"You are something else.", he said, still smiling.
Bastiana breathed in.
"Think your brothers," he said softly.
She raised herself and stared back at him, attempting to remain calm, trying to keep her fear from showing, "Don't hurt them," was all she said, she didn't tell him about the way the guard had looked at her, about what he had said.
"We can't have you doing it again though can we?"
"Please, I won't do it again just don't hurt them, I'll do anything."
He moved forward, causing her to take a step back and hit the table, he took another step, pushing his body against hers, her blood ran cold, she shivered as he took hold of her wrists and placed her hands against the table, holding them in place.
"Anything?" He whispered in her ear, biting at her earlobe.
It was one thing to attack a guard barely out of training but Alan, she knew she couldn't take him, she had no weapons and if she failed it would mean her brother's death, so she closed her eyes and gritted her teeth, but she couldn't stop the tears. "I've never," was all she managed to get out, her fear taking over her body, not allowing her to continue.
He had been running his mouth down her neck in light kisses, savoring the taste of her skin, he paused when she said this and pulled his face back to look at her. Her eyes were closed, he could feel her body shaking against him, see tears falling down her face, she wasn't trying to stop him, he knew he could do what he wanted to her and she wouldn't, she cared about her brothers too much, but she didn't want him and forcing her now would mean she never would.
For a second he had lost control of himself, he wanted this girl so much he hadn't been thinking about her. He still wanted her, they could both feel how much he wanted her, she was so beautiful and strong, and he knew one day he would have her, one day he would know what it was like to touch her body, to feel her skin against his, to know what she tasted like; but when he finally did, it would be on her terms, when she wanted him as much as he wanted her when she craved his touch instead of being disgusted by it.
Turning away from her, he threw his glass across the room, shattering it on the floor. "Get out," he yelled.
She turned and shakily crossed the room, as she reached the door he called out to her, his voice was composed again, "Bastiana, step out of line again and I'll force you to watch while I have your brothers back whip bare."
Leaving the door open she fled the room. Through the open door, he could see Beth, watching the girl as he waited for permission to come in. "Enter," Alan called, sitting down on the white leather sofa.
"Sir?"
"Send of one of Michelle's girls and have her brought to my rooms," Getting up he crossed the room and started to make his way upstairs, "make sure she has brown hair."