People say that the brothers are like a compass rose. Four brothers, four points. North. West. East. South. They were points on a map, which those points help people to find their directions, to help find their homes.

Bastiana was the compass that guides them. She guided them on how to be resilient, how to deal with challenges, and how to strive for excellence in all that we do. She taught them that there's nothing that we cannot accomplish if they marry vision and passion with an enduring work ethic.

Sitting in the living room of their parent's house - a place they swore they will never be again- with a glass of strong alcohol in their hands trying to get their shit together. Four hours have been passed since Dana kicked Mike, Neal, and Spencer's ass showing that she took the rein of the family, the lawyer threatens them to get their heads out of their ass and face the reality. They need to be strong and plan their next moves.

Chief Dodds informs them about the questioning they will face in two days and they would answer some very personal questions about the past and lives theirs. Also, they know that Reid will not be questioned by his team the same for Sonny and his husband, Mike Dodds.

"In two days people will ask questions about our past and lives" Ne, al says shook his head in disbelieve. "Un-fucking-believable."

"We must say the truth?"Reid asks, sitting on the wall, feet dangling on the other side and was staring at the dark sky absentmindedly out of the window."My opinion is yes"

"That is the most stupid idea that I have been heard since Neal wanted to dye gis hear red"Sonny scoffed.

"Do it"The detective exclaimed in frustration.

"Seriously? What is wrong with all of you?" Mike snapped looking at them like they were crazy. "Tell them what?. That we are a group of liars and broken people, that we failed to protect our sister or about the agreement five days before her disappearance?"

The lawyer looked up at them.

"Aren't you going to say anything?" he said looking at Neal.

"What is there to say?" Neal just shrugged looking disapprovingly at him."The only thing we can do to bring our sister back is to say the truth"

Climbing off the floor, Mike took Neal whiskey glass."Bastiana fought with all her power to keep some things secret and now, you want is to spat them out?"

"It is the only thing we can do"Reid snapped."Will give short answers to those questions without giving something else to them. We must be careful, we must hide our feeling and our thoughts from them"

Spencer leaned his head against Mike's shoulder. "You know, this kidnapper has forgotten one very important thing," he whispered.

"What?" Sonny asked.

"That we Ross stick together, and for us, family means everything," Mike said. "We'll not rest until Bastiana is home."

"True," Neal agreed.

"Plus, we will not be letting this drop," Mike continued his voice hardening into a menacing hiss. "Vengeance will be ours."

"Vengeance?" Sonny questioned with a frown as Mike sat back up and turned to face him. "You don't strike me as the vengeful sort, little brother."

"Oh, I'm very vengeful," Mike admitted.

"But this is very different," Sonny said, his tone turning ice cold. "We are talking about someone hurting our sister. There is nothing I won't do for her. And whoever has her had better wish the cops get to him before I do."

"That goes for the rest of us as well," Neal said. "Heaven help the bastard if any of the family get their hands on them."

They nodded in agreement and silence fell as Neal walked up and poured himself a drink."Who else read the letters from her?"

"I can't find the courage to open it"Mike's voice was strong but he looked upset.

"I will go first," The older brother said, voice low and hurting. He pulled something from the inside pocket of his suit, he studied the envelope. Plain white, letter-sized. He held it in one hand. It was heavy, bulky, definitely five or six pages inside. Holding it by the side edge, he held it up to the light next to the couch, too thick to see through. He looked at the return address, his eyes going wide when he focused on the words. It was their parents' house address. Ripping open the envelope and tossing it aside, Neal unfolded the plain white paper and looked at the first line.

Dear brother of mine,

They could almost hear Bastiana's voice through the words. Could see her hunched up over the desk pouring her everything into them.

Reading this letter means that I'm dead or I ran away.

The letter fell from Neal's hand, as his lungs suddenly stopped taking in air, his eyes went wide and he felt as if he was about to pass out. The heads of the other siblings snapped at him with wide eyes and jaws to the floor.

This had to be a dream, had to be. He pinched his arm.

"Ouch."

Okay, not a dream. Then maybe some sick joke, but Bastiana wouldn't do that, and he wouldn't do something like this to them. Taking a deep breath, Neal ran his hands through his hair, then blew the breath out. He needed to know more before he could process this. He picked up the pages of the letter, putting them back together then started reading again.

Well you either shit yourself, passed out or dropped the letter not believing what you read. I'm hoping it's the last one. And to answer your question, it's not a dream and it's not a damn joke, even I'm not that much of a bitch to play a joke like this.

I know that you will think that I being selfish but I got tired, brother.

Tired of pretending to be fine. To be the ironwoman you all of thinking I am, tired to be a soldier all the time. Tired to put me on fire to keep you warm.

If I am dead this means I am free from the pain and the past. I can move on beyond my mistakes and my scars, the shadows in my mind can stop hunting me. But don't worry, I will look up to you and watch out for you, guys.

Sonny looked over to Neal, "Looking up?"

Sonny finished his drink and moved away to pour another as he spoke, "She will be in hell for sure"

Mike snorted a small laugh.

If it's the second one that means I can finally live my life without fear or second thoughts. I put my happiness aside to protect and help all of you, I never felt somewhere home because I knew that I have to destroy it when Sonny or Mike or Spencer or you call me for help. I want to feel love and freedom, I want to be...a Ross.

Anyway, Neal, I want you to know that I am very proud of the person you become, an amazing brother, husband, and father but most of all a man who stood up for his family and protect them. I never blamed you for all the cruel things our grandfather did to me, I never wanted to help me because his attention could be turned to you and hurt you. I could never let it happen. You were the only person who never gave up on me, the only person who loved me knowing that I did not deserve it.

I want you to know how much I love you and don't be sorry for me. Don't search for a person who doesn't want to be found. I will be ok.

Look after Dana and your baby. I wish I could be there to see the baby -for God's ls sake and the sane of the world, do not name the baby after me if it's a girl- to see if it's will have the same beautiful eyes as yours.

I have always been there to look after you even when you can't see me.

With love,

Bastiana Ross

P.S I have a letter for Dana, too.

Neal swallowed hard and gazed at the others in the room. Sonny had moved to Mike's side to comfort his brother while staring blankly off into the wall. Spencer had simply sunk to the ground where he stood and had his eyes firmly closed much as Neal had.

"Who is next?"

He was met with silence. Sonny stepped forward and took a letter out of his pant and began to read in his unwavering voice.

My beautiful son,

I remember the day I held you in my arms. The day you told your first word. Your first steps and your first tears. You always have been my sun in my darkness, little brother. When I was upset, angry, or sad you always found a way to make me smile -I still can't say how you did it- but I thank you for that. I want to thank you for your forgiveness when I came back from London. You hug me almost to death and you make me promise to never leave but I have to broke this promise.

I can't get it anymore. I want to break free from my chains, to destroy my gold cage, and fly away like a bird.

I wrote this letter because I couldn't find the courage to tell you those words in person.

I love you brother.

And here Sonny faltered, tears cascading down his cheeks.

I don't care if you want to be a cop or a lawyer, the only thing I want for you is to be happy. I loved to hear you laugh and see you holding hands with Michael, he is a lucky man to have you.

You have the passion and the heart to fight in the court. I know that you will become the best lawyer that New York has to been seen in years, just don't be like me. Don't lose your path during the court, don't fight to win, fight for the victims.

During the preparation for your exam, I pushed you too hard because I wanted you to be my heir.

Mike choked on the whiskey and Neal fall from the sofa.

I wanted you to work for me but you were not built to play just to win and money. You wanted to help people. To make things good. This is who you are.

You are the most amazing person I have met. You advanced as a person and today, you are a wonderful brother, husband, detective, and one day a badass DA.

Don't miss me. Live your life, be happy, and move on.

With love,

Bastiana Ross

Sonny's voice broke over her liege's name, his throat too constricted to speak further.

His hands shook violently as he silently sat next to Neal. Not an eye in the room was dry, and yet none of them moved to leave. They needed to understand, to hear. They needed this even if it very well might be the final straw to break the horses back.

My unique genius,

Lost Paradise by Milton John was the first book you bought me when I came back to your lives. Never understood why but I still have it in my bag, always carried it with me when I get upset re-reading it remember that I still have you when everyone else hates me.

I have been watching you for years from the shadows proudly. Top of the class, degrees covering your walls and a freaking gun in n your hip. I never understood why you wanted to be an agent, after all my opinion on them is Agents are to humans. They are robots programming to hide their feelings and they are so stupid to put their lives on the line knowing that they have a family which they waiting for them at home.

I collect all your articles from the BAU's cases, be proud of you to help those people to come home and back to their families. I remembered those days but also remembered the day Erin Strauss called me.

Mike remembered in vivid detail the night his sister referred to. Could recall the exact shade of red his sister's face had turned as she'd screamed at the phone to bring their brother back. Remembered the unnatural pale shade that same Erin Strauss had turned. Just like his sister, images from that night haunted him.

I still can remember the pain and fear. It was just every time this bastard hit you I could feeling it. Everyone hidden in the shadows not wanting to destroy our cover and let you alone to heal. We could be there but my paranoia doesn't let us.

Maybe one day you could forgive me for that.

"I forgive you," The young doctor choked out the words.

I wished you find someone to make you happy -you deserve to be- and have a lot of children, it sounds like a dream. Lola did that.

Live your life because it's short.

With love,

Bastiana Ross

P.S Your wedding gift will be at home at the end of this month.

Spencer's hand was trembling when he reached the bottom of the page. A sob escaped him. Then another. He laid carefully the piece of paper on the floor as feelings flooded back into him, choking him.

All the eyes fall on him. He was the last to be left. Ηis fingers, which had been itching for a while, decided to move, slowly, treacherously, so that he would not detect their movement even though he was staring at them now, made for the envelope and steadily tore it stood and moved so she could face all the brothers. He took in their pale, tear-stained faces before taking a steadying breath. Mike began to read.

My lovely little,

It has been passed 15 years, since that dreaded night. Since the last time, I saw you at the funeral of our parents. But I swear I saw you that day. Perhaps it is the pitiful delusions of a broken woman that made me see you that say in the crowd as we paid our final respects at the passing of a mutual friend. I was sure that this would be enough to draw you back and I'm still not unconvinced it did not.

Mike's sister's grief was cutting like no blade ever could be. In this musty condo, they finally sunk their claws into her and claimed her as their own. The guilt for their inaction crippled the siblings as they shook and cried silently for the sibling they failed.

I remembered that night. The night I came back.

Mike had tried to keep his head high, forever running from the demons that chased him since the night.

You shut the door to my face and called me Antigone. The funny thing is that Antigone fought for her brothers to be buried instead I ran away and hid. I tried to fight with Edith but I lost the most important fight in my life. I let you down once, I couldn't do it again, so I fought.

I didn't care for all the awful things you told me trying to hurt me as I hurt you. I kept all the good moments like the day you called me wanting to meet and talk. The day you bought me a gift or the day you came to my condo with Logan.

Those moments are my favorites. Every family has their upside down and we couldn't be an exception. We fight and yell at each other, it's ok.

I want to tell you how proud I am of you, you fought and you become something you wanted without giving a fuck for the consequences but please think of it. You are an amazing lawyer who wants to help people - something I never could understand, Dominic and you are more similar than you think- and I wanted you to work for me.

''He could never work for her''

It was the answer to Neal.

It was true. Mike could never work with his sister not why he hates her or something else but he was aware of the consequences if someone finds out about him. Dreams hunt him, dreams which people find out about him and everything that his sister fight for, become ashes in front of her. Bastina gave her soul to be the woman who is today and Mike may hate her but he could never destroy his sister's life.

I will not push you to let your dream down but you have a husband to look out for and a family, I just want to tell you that I always have your back and protect you whatever it's take. Even go to prison.

It's funny. You know, I used to think that we would die together. I never really imagined one of using dying before the other, yet that is to be the case.

Mike's face crumpled and he began to cry softly, shaking his head.

"Sister..''

Then he had his brain sending him mixed signals about how he should act or what he should do and more annoying was that his emotions can't seem to find a baseline as they kept jumping around going from feeling safe to defensive to crying to laughing. It was too much.

His stomach must have decided it was done because the next thing he knew was that he was running across the living room to the bathroom to throw up.

He barely made it. Which was a little bit relieving, as he didn't make himself look like a complete idiot in front of his brother.

Resting his head on his arm after he finished throwing up all the food he forced himself to eat. He held back the whimper as his stomach heaved again. Now he remembered why he didn't eat much. It sucked having to throw it all backup.

He was too busy heaving to hear Spencer come into the room. But he jumped when Spencer put her hand on his back.

"It's okay, just breath."The older man said kneeling beside him rubbing his hand up and down his back.

When he finally got it under control he curled up trying to hide his face so he didn't see Spencer's upset one.

He could still feel his brother rubbing his back and it made him want to cry. He must look so weak.

Mike wanted to shake his head but instead, he turned around slowly keeping his head tucked to his chest and his eyes closed.

At the condo of Bastiana were all the siblings while at Logan and Mike's condo the siblings-in-law were. Lola was crying, tears streaking down her face as she gripped onto Logan, eyes looking concerned as she watched silently on.

Mike Dodds gestured for the letters and took a moment surveying around the room at Lola, at Logan, Dana who shuffled unsurely into the room, making it a tight fit for all. Despite taking a deep breath to brace himself, Mike was unsure whether he could read these aloud.

My favorite detective,

I am sure that all of you will have some questions about why I wrote those letters for you. I want to say goodbye.

Logan had tears gathered in his eyes and his face was pale.

I want to say who proud I am to call you my brother, a big honor to me to had you and your father as members of my family. I never questioned the fact that you could make my brother happy and that is one of the reasons I loved you.

I still remembered the day I met you, standing in front of me with a shy smile and hands whichνwere trembling. You couldn't find the right words and I thought that if I had to hug you, you may faint.

Anyway, I want also to apologize for my cruel actions and words toward you. That I never let myself show you how much I loved you as a brother, to show you how I appreciate that you love my brother.

''I never wanted your words'' Mike scratches his elbow, feeling awkward.''I have all those smiles and hugs from you.''

Their sister-in-law was a woman of few words. She was not able to talk about her feelings but her action spoke louder than a few words. Mike was never questioning Bastiana loves for him, the lawyer was there for him anytime he wanted to talk or a hug. The woman was the mother who never had.

I love you, my little brother

A lone tear dropped onto the open letter in Mike's hand.

He clutched the letter throwing it away. Dana then embraced her little brother in a tight comforting hug. Mike buried his head in her shoulders and broke down completely. She rubbed his back in comforting circles;

Lola Looney,

Lola smiles through her tears.

I don't have a lot of things to say to you.

I want you to stand next to my brother like a woman he deserves. I know that it is difficult to be the wife of an agent, to wait for the phone call from the boss to tell you that your husband was injured and is in the hospital, not being able to do anything. For years I held a phone in my hands waiting for a call, a call that could destroy me. I can not remember how many times I woke up in my office looking at the phone and imagining the worst.

I may look hard but no one could imagine the pain I was feeling. You, my dear little sister, know that you will succeed, I know because I have seen you overcome greater difficulties, I have seen you fight demons and win.

Whatever happens, you will not have to overcome it alone. All together we are always fighting those who tried to harm us ...

'' You fought alone '' Logan says, a little breathlessly.

Whatever happens, I want you to know that they always loved you as a sister even if I could not show it. I may have kept saying that I do not have a favorite sibling-in-law but that was a lie. You are a feminine version of my brother and it is the first reason that makes you my favorite. The rest is a long list that I do not think I will be able to explain.

I know about the baby and I can understand why you didn't told me.

I want the baby knows that that I love her/him and I'm grateful I got to be his/her aunt even if it wasn't for long. I'm sure she/hr'll grow up to be a very smart, very beautiful young person and… and I'm sorry I'm not there to see it. I love you, baby Ross.

Look after my stupid brother because now it's your turn

With love,

Bastiana Ross

It wasn't that she was ashamed to be crying, Lola just didn't want any more tears to fall on the letter, thereby ruining it. This was a sacred letter. This was the only thing of Bastiana's that Lola had, and she meant to treasure it. It was more dear to her than even the book that Spencer had given. It was worth more than a mountain of money.

Logan stood at the window, arms crossed over his chest. Outside the window, the rain beat a relentless rhythm against the streets. He carefully pulled out the letter from his suitcase as though it's the greatest treasure but the man was not known for his patients so he ripped the envelope that was labeled Logan Sander

Hello, my other brother,

I don't have a lot of things to say to you. You're an amazing person and it was my honour to meet you.

You didn't run when you found out about Mike , you decided to stay next to him supporting him. You stood next to him and fought for him.

I beg you don't leave him if something go wrong. Just love and support him, fight for him like a good fucking husband that I know you will be.

Logan, you were my brother that I have but a calmer version. You stood next to me and fight with and for me, you were the only sibling-in-law who decided to go against me and it was the reason for the love and respect I have for you..

You were my family and brother, don't forget that.

With Love

Bastiana Ross

He never says a word, just stands up and places the glass on the table next to the couch.

And leaves.

The living room is silent. There's a fire burning brightly in the fire-place, wood crackling softly in the quiet. A still figure on the floor, head turned toward the couch, one arm flung outward, toward a stake that's just out of reach, the other cradled against a not-moving chest.

Dana's eyes are open, unseeing.

Bastiana had left her a letter. Had she known she was going to die? What was it her sister could have to say that she didn't want to say to her in person? It was with trembling hands that Dana had opened the letter and read its contents.

To my sister,

I am not going to lie. At first, I was jealous of you, I used to be the only person who can make Neal smiles and laugh, I was the only person who can reach him who can read him like an open book, and then..you came.

Before this telling, I was angry with you, Dana. I felt that Mike had betrayed me making Neal meet you. For a long time, Neal was the only person who was able to love knowing that I was a bitch and a heartless woman, the only person who never gave up on me.

But when I heard all that you had done, I quickly realized that you were a perfect match for him. You made him happy, you put up with his stupidness and us. I spent time with you and I found the amazing person that made my brother fall in love with.

Dana, you are more than my friend. You are the sister I never had. Now, sister, I need you to be strong. Firm and my siblings will both suffer greatly by my death. You must be there for them. Neal may not want your help at first, but you must, for my sake, do so anyway.

It's time to take the rein of the family. I know that you can take my place.

''Like someone can fill Bastiana's shoes'' Lola insisted, wrapping his arms around Logan.

My time here is running short. Farewell, Dana!

With Love,

Bastiana Ross

Silence fell heavily in the room after the last word was spoken. Dana let the letter slowly float toward the floor as she simply let go.

Harvey turned the empty glass he'd been drinking bourbon out of over, watching as the few drops left slid down the glass' walls, and clung to the lip. He turned it back right side up and watched them slide back to the bottom. He repeated the action a few more times, before setting the glass down on the floor, and resting his head in his hands. It had been a long day and a longer case. And Bastiana, once again, hunted his thoughts.

It has been passed three weeks since Bastiana went missing and the lawyer is going to lock himself in a madhouse. He tried to drown himself in work taking case without thinking wanted to forget why he was sad.

His number one fear becomes real. Mike left him, Donna left him for a man - the lawyer was happy for the redhead but Donna was his girl- which she met at the gym and Jessica spend all her time with her girlfriend and her son.

Harvey stood at the window, wondering how he would go on without Bastiana in his life. Without Bastiana's face smiling at him across the court. Without those humor-filled blue eyes brightening up his day.

He glanced at the glass again and grinned wryly. Bastiana had managed to make him change without even being in a relationship with her, which was more than he could say about his ex-girlfriends. He flipped open his phone, and hovered over the speed dial for Bastiana before sighing, and closing it. He surveyed the room and nearly chuckled. Because the worst of all, was when the lawyer tried to sleep, he was haunted by the memory of the desolation in those blue eyes at the office the night Bastiana got a mysterious phone call.

This was just about how he'd been the night he'd realized he loved Bastiana.

From the other side of New York, Donna puts up with a lot of shit. A Lot.

While she is tough and stands her ground at work and every senior partner knows that if you want to walk away alive from a conversation with her then the word sweetheart should never leave your lips and every sentence should end in please, you can't expect perfection from the start. Even from her.

You first have to teach a dog before they will listen, after all.

It's always the rookies that give her shit. They walk around with a swagger in their step that wasn't there a couple of weeks ago, a cat that ate the canary smirk on their face. Always looking down their nose if you didn't have a fancy certificate from Harvard.

So for the first few weeks, Donna has to put up with them thinking that because she's an assistant that they can talk to her however they want. When they finally notice that every remark is met with something in their work-life going wrong they start to put the pieces together and start behaving with respect.

Pavlovian response and when Harvey Specter, someone she has worked with for years and had put the fear of Donna into long before Pearson-Hardman, calls her at three o'clock in the morning, you would be understating it to say that she was less than thrilled to hear the reason.

It had been a feet achingly long day, ten hours at work, then she got a tear-filled call from her sister, about how she had caught her boyfriend cheating. And after a cab ride, two pints of ice cream, three movies where the wife kills the husband, and another cab ride home at noon she finally made it into bed, where she planned to stay until late the next morning.

A wailing jolted her from sleep.

She slapped at her alarm clock a few times before it hit her that it was her phone ringing.

Glaring at the phone did nothing to soothe her temper.

"What?!" She snapped.

"Donna, Donna you're up. That'sss is great. I need, uh. Um. What'dI'd need again?" her boss' voice slurred.

"Are you drunk? I know you did not call me drunk at- 3:19 in the morning Harvey Scepter." She said scowling.

"What? 'm not drunk. 've only had a glass." In the background, she heard the clanking of a bottle before drunken giggles echoed in her receiver.

"Hey, Donna" Giggle" Does- does it still count as glass if the empty bottle is made of glass? I think it does. That sounds right."

Squeezing her eyes closed she forced out a breath, she needed to see if she would have to go pick his ass up and do damage control or not and she couldn't go that if she hung up.

"Harvey?"

"Yeah?"

"Where are you?"

"On the floor."

"On the floor where Harvey?" Losing patience her teeth ground together as she spat the words out.

"My office, where else? Are you sure you're not the one that drank a bottle of scotch?"

"Then why, may I ask are you calling me in the middle of the night?!" Without meaning to the last bit of the question came out in a shout, frustration coursing through her.

"Oh yeah, I need you to set up an appointment at a jeweler. And order some flowers ooooh do you think she'll like gold or silver because he seems like more of a classic gold woman to be but I'd like to see her is silver and-"

"Harvey!" Donna cut him off, "Who are you talking about?"

"Bastiana who else? Who else do you think I would buy a ring for?"

She decided to point out that he had never talked about giving Bastiana a ring before because while she knew he liked the woman they never talked about it.

"Harvey, honey, why are you planning to buy Bastiana a ring?" Donna asked as patiently as she could. She was tired and frustrated but she did care for her boss and this seemed like something that might not end well if she just hung up.

Harvey scoffed into the phone. "I'm going to ask her to marry me duh. Donna are you sure that you're not drunk because you're not catching on as quickly as usual."

The sound of flesh hitting flesh sounded through her room as her palm made contact with the face.

Her boss was so drunk he was going to try to propose to Bastiana Wolf

. "Yeah, I'm sure." She answered, "Harvey I think there might be a flaw in your plan."

"What'd'ya mean I've got everything covered. Flowers, date, ring, everything!"

Donna felt sleepiness creepy back up on her but no matter how much she wanted she could hang up on him without making sure he wouldn't do something stupid. And this counted as stupid.

"Harvey, listen. You're forgetting the most important thing."

"What?"

"You and Bastiana have never been on a date."

"Huh?"

"You have to at least take the woman on a few dates before you pop the question. It would be scandalous not to." She told him, patiently.

"What? Why? She's already mine."

"She's yours, Harvey. Not your girlfriend, you would have to have a conversation about feelings with her for that to happen."

"But...She's mine, Donna." Was whined in her ear."I will not let her with that stupid agent with a cheap taste of suits"

One thing she had learned in the years of working for Harvey Scepter is that he turns into a five-year-old after four glasses of scotch. All impulsive moves and possessiveness.

" I know that," Donna said patronizingly. "But maybe you should talk to her when they find her and maybe set up a date while you're at it."

"Yeah"

"Okay was that all you needed?"

"I think so."

"Okay, good night Harvey." She said going to hit the off button.

"Wait!"

Huffing she put the phone back to her ear.

"What?" She snapped patients running out.

"Where should I take her?"

"I'm going to put this as nicely as I can but My Give-A-Damn Clock Is Broken Between The Hours of 12 am And 10 pm. And you've already used up the emergency minutes so if you want to talk about this anymore it'll have to wait till tomorrow." With that, she hung up on him and slammed the phone into the cradle.

Many times that day Hotch wanted to quit the case and go find Bastiana. He didn't care about the consequences of the missing girl from another case. His mind was only focused on Bastiana and who had taken his lawyer. There will be hell to pay when he finds the person responsible. The woman was off-limits. It was time for everyone including Specter to know. This situation wasn't going to happen again. If it did nothing will stop him. He made phone calls and putting out alerts. He wasn't satisfied until every agent, cop, and C.I. had their ears to the ground and eyes open looking for Bastian.

"Fuck," Hotch chokes out, tears prickling his eyes.

His feeling so many emotions at the one time that he can barely concentrate – concern, fury, heartbreak, and he just- he needs Bastiana. He runs his hands over his face, letting out a shaky breath.

Of course, if Bastiana were there with them, his emotions wouldn't be going into overdrive right now.

On the table, before they lie several photographs, and a note was written in extremely messy scrawl, pretty much telling him to wait for further instructions.

As soon as he had clapped his eyes on the photographs, he felt sick to his stomach. Even from a distance, he could spot the red suit instantly, and it hit him like a blow to the gut.

Upon closer inspection, though, it's even worse.

Pictures of the previous women with cuts and bruises over their bodies but there's a small part of Hotch that's relieved at the fact that they don't have a picture of Bastiana.

The rest of Hotch, though? The rest of him is screaming internally because this just cannot be fucking happening.

He doesn't realize he's shaking until Rossi lays a palm on his shoulder in an attempt to calm him, and his eyes flicker from the trembling photograph in his hands to his friend.

"We'll find her, Aaron. She's going to be okay."

The man swallows thickly – but he can't even gather enough strength to reply. "I should've told her."

"She knew Aaron," Rossi assures. "She knew."

"Did she?" he scoffs.

"She is a lawyer" Rossi hedges, "She knows to read people"

The worst part, though? He knows that this is all his fault. This monster – whoever they are – has taken Bastiana to get to the family – as though they know exactly what the other people mean to them.

Surely not, though. They've been so careful. Not everyone knew that Bastiana Wolf had a family – there was hiding it once they'd decided people like them -Garcia/Morgan- make a reach for them and people learn about the relative between a former con, two lawyers, and two agents. People that Reid or Bastiana put behind bars wanted revenge on and because of BAU finally take their chance.

All he cares about is getting Bastiana to safety, and he doesn't give a shit about how many people he has to plant billets in the process of getting the woman back for that matter.

He will find whoever kidnapped Bastiana, and he will make them suffer slowly and painfully.

'Do you know what the most powerful emotion is?

….love, creed, hate?'

The answer?….. It's none of the above. The most powerful emotion is fear. Hate is based on the fear of the unknown. Creed is based on the fear to lose your possessions, while love is based on the fear to be alone.

Fear can create many things: aggression, protectiveness, it can lead to war and make a grown man cry, it can create masks to hide your feelings but it can also destroy them. Fear can shatter the toughest masks you have created... especially once you fear, losing the person you care for most…

The problem with love, of course, is that by the time you realize it's killing you, you don't care.

Normally she would fight it, but what was there to fight?

She could fight for love, but she could never fight against any of them.

She learned: love is what hurts you.

In this way, she is always sickly.

James, Nina, Mike, Neal, Dominic, Spencer, Bruce...

In hindsight, she was surprised it hadn't happened sooner.

Of course, that's not how she dies.

If Bastiana is going to die of love (she is, always), it won't be choking on her impossible misaimed hopes; it will be with a bullet next to her heart.

She went to the bathroom. She took care of herself and drank some water, after washing her hands and her face. She walked slower. She didn't know what to expect. She knocked on Alan's door. No one answered. She tried the doorknob. It was unlocked, so she opened the door quietly. Everything started to feel too real at that point. She held her breath, trying to listen to the sounds inside the room. It was dark and all she could hear was someone's steady breathing. She knew that the man was probably a womanizer. He seemed to like that kind of man. Not caring about anything or anyone.

If there was a woman with him, she didn't know. It would be awkward to find someone there with him.

She went in anyway and closed the door. Doing it slowly, so it wouldn't make a sound. Taking the steps towards the bed, cautiously. Feeling her heart pound. There was only one person in the bed. Sleeping. Then she wondered what to do. She was hungry. She put the candle on and saw a fruit bowl on the table. She took an apple and started to chew.

"Morning.", Alan said with a drowsy, low voice, turning to see her better.

The lawyer could see that he didn't have a shirt, his blanket covering the lower half of him. He was lean and wiry muscled. His shoulders are wide. He put his hands under his head. Some hair in his armpits. A few days stubble on his face. Blue eyes, watching her every move.

"Hi. I was hungry."

"I can see that."

The lawyer dug in deeper into the apple.

"What are you doing here?", He asked.

"I came to see you."

The man got up. She wasn't sure where to put her eyes. She didn't know if he slept without clothes or not. She couldn't look away either so she took a peek. At least he had some kind of pants on. She felt butterflies in her stomach but she continued eating.

He walked at her, stopping close to her. "I'm gonna go and refresh myself. Make yourself comfortable."

When he was out of the room Bastiana swallowed, then she continued eating her apple.

When he came back, she was sitting in the chair, finishing her fruit. He took an apple too and went for his bed, eating it there.

"Come here. If that's why you're here for?", he asked.

"Are you angry with me?" He asked, staring into her eyes. She remained silent for a moment before shaking her head to signify a 'no'.

"Bastiana." He spoke in a gentle voice. "I didn't mean to hurt you in the morning." He spoke honestly. "It's just that when it thinks about those… those people, I lose all control." His hands that held her small waist tightened their grip.

"I know." She said. "I'm sorry for angering you. I shouldn't have." He smiled and placed a firm kiss on her lips. One of his hands snaked up her back into her hair to brush her silky strands. Her hands buried themselves in his hair, pulling him closer. Pulling away, Alan smirked while she blushed. Her body craved his masterful touch, and there was nothing she could do to stop herself from giving in to his kisses.

Bastiana was ready to fight if the man would happen to be violent in his bed too.

"Don't be afraid, Bastiana. I'm not going to hurt you.", Woodford whispered.

Not far from her. She swallowed.

Was she going to do this?

He reached for her slowly. It excited him even more. He felt the blood pump in his veins. Why was she so different? How did she make him feel this way like no one else could? He took a strand of her hair and smelled it. Her scent of a woman, soap, and something flowery, perhaps lavender. Suddenly it made his pants feel too full.

"You are beautiful."

Bastiana snorted. "I can take any crap but don't lie to me."

"Did you come here to kill me?"

When Bastiana didn't answer his delusions got the best of him and he straddled her. "Give it to me."

"Wait." She took something from her clothes.

He took it from her hand. It was a nail file. He burst into laughter. "You were going to kill me with this?"

"I was not going to kill you. I just needed a backup plan."

The lawyer wondered how long he was going to sit on her. She couldn't move and it was getting uncomfortable under his weight. She played with the thought of fighting him. But she knew that he would probably win. Their gazes locked. He seemed curious about her. She felt his warm muscles through his pants, while his ass and thighs were against her loins.

"I tend to stand behind my decisions.", she said to fill the silence.

"Even when they are foolish?", he asked.

"I keep my word."

She watched the look on his features turn darker.

"You know I don't like it when people lie to me," He said in a very calm voice.

"I don't know what you are talking about"She meekly whispered. He stood up and walked towards her. She shrank back in utmost fear.

"You said that you never had been in love," He said through gritted teeth, as he cornered her against a wall. "Can you imagine my surprise when I found it that you were in a four years relationship with..."

He was cut off by a slap to his face.

"Don't you dare to say his name"

You lied to me." He said in a venomous voice. "You knew about that bastard, but you hid it from me." His grip on her arm tightened with every word, every syllable he said, and her pain increased.

"Alan… I-." She tried to speak but was cut off by a harsh slap to her face. A scream erupted from her throat as her body flung from the impact of his strength, but his arm held her body from moving too far.

"I… I… didn't… I …" His accusing eyes left no room for anything to be said. He had already thought of a reason for her actions and nothing she said would change his mind. The only thing she could do was run from him and try to save herself. But she neither had the guts nor the strength to ever blink. She remained rooted to the floor as he reached behind her to lock the door. Then he grabbed her arm and tugged her farther into the room.

"I want you to love me just like I love you" He threw her towards the dresser, causing her body to collide with it with a sick thud.

"Alan… please… list-." She tried to speak again, but he was on her, slapping her uncontrollably.

"You slut. You fucking whore." Her screams roared louder and louder with every blow from him until she thought her lungs would explode.

"Stop." She screamed, flaying her arms in front of her to block his blows, but the man was like a rabid animal. He ignored her agonized screams, her cries of pain, and continued slapping her mercilessly, only stopping when his hand stung with pain. But his anger hadn't subsided yet. He grabbed her hair and pulled her to her feet. Pain shot through the roots of her hair and she let out another piercing scream. Alan flung her across the room by using her hair and watched with sadistic satisfaction as her body bumped into the nightstand and crumbled on the carpet.

Pain.

It was all she could feel. Every pore of her skin was alit with pain and she was burning. Her throat was sore from ill attempts of crying out for help. All she could do was hope that somewhere in that cold heart of his, he felt an ounce of sympathy for her, enough to let her live. But she wasn't going to get her to wish. Before she had enough time to take a breath, he was on her again, hand around her neck, pulling to her feet. Again, she let out a choked scream and desperately clawed at his arm to get him to loosen his grip, but to no avail. The man pulled her towards him to face him.

"Are you still in love with him?"He demanded.

"I… didn't." She managed to say.

"LIES." He screamed in utter rage and delivered a punch to her stomach. Her eyes widened in pain and she felt the air being sucked out of her lungs. "You think I'm going to believe that shit." He spat in her face as he punched her again. This time, a scream managed to leave her lips, much to her surprise.

"Pl… ease…. Bel… eve me." She choked out, clutching her stomach.

"I saw it with my own eyes." He yelled in her face, pulling her hair harshly. "I saw you the newspapers." He said while delivering another punch to her stomach. "I saw you exchange glances. I saw it all." His fist swung with every line he spoke and she screamed and screamed. Blood flew out of her mouth, but in his rage, he failed to see it.

Violent coughs shook her body and he threw her on the floor, but he wasn't done yet. He stood over her unmoving body and kicked her ribs.

"Wasn't I good enough for you, you whore?" No response came from her, not even a sniff.

"You're a no-good bitch. That's what you are." He said.

No scream came from her and it frustrated him. He wanted to hear her scream. He wanted to know she was in pain. He wanted her to feel it like he had felt the pain of her betrayal. "Fuck." He yelled, pouring all his anger into the kick, causing her body to fling across the room like a rag doll. He then turned away from her, his chest heaving from effort.

"I'm done with all this." He said, his voice hoarse from all the screaming. "You will not leave this house ever again. I'll make sure of that. You'll beg for a ray of sunlight, for fresh air, but you'll never get it, you hear me?" He turned towards her and glared at her, daring her to defy, but no response came from her.

"Answer me." He demanded, advancing towards her heap of a body. "Are you still in love with him?" He grabbed her arm and pulled her to face him, but was surprised to see her head roll to the side.

"Bastian?" He said in an icy tone, shaking her body to get a response from her, but none came. Anger was replaced by panic. Why wasn't she answering him? He doubted she wanted to defy him now, after all the abuse he had delivered to her. It must be something else.

"Bastiana?" He called out again. His hand reached for her chin to hold her head up when he felt a think slimy liquid touch his fingers. He removed his hand to see his fingers stained red.

Blood.

It was blood. It was her blood. Immediately, he lifted her face and cringed at what he saw. Bloodstained her chin and neck, some of it staining her shirt. Her lips were busted open, thus the source of her blood. Her tongue was also stained red, indicating that she must have coughed out some as well. Her cheeks were swollen and purple with bruises, numerous scratches also adorning them. Her forehead had a nasty looking purple bruise in two places; one bruise was open and bleeding. Her neck also had bruises, definitely from his grip. But what scared Alan the most was that there were no signs of breathing coming from her. Her chest was not moving, not even a centimeter. With quivering hands, Alan placed his finger below her nose, hoping to feel a gust of warmth. But none came.

"Please. No." He whispered voice laced with fear. "Don't… Bastiana…" He begged, shaking her head slightly, but it resulted in more blood oozing out of her mouth.

"No." he whispered again. "Please Bastiana…. Don't… don't leave me."