Chapter 9 ! Enjoy !
"Sauron ? What do you mean ? The young man asked immediately, sensing that something was very wrong.
The three persons in front of him looked at each other hesitantly, but eventually, the Wizard kneeled before him and took his hand.
"This is going to be difficult to hear…" he told him, looking sad and concerned.
"G-Go ahead…"
The man felt fear growing inside him. This was bad… Very bad…
"It seems… That Sauron is influencing or trying to influence you through your foresights since you have been dreaming of the Council." he continued, squeezing comfortingly his hand into his own.
Faramir suddenly felt as if the world around him began to crumble. Did… Did that mean that, by doing what he thought was right, he had, in fact, accomplished Sauron's will ? Did that mean that he might have unknowingly condemned Middle Earth ?
"No…" he weakly whispered in guilt and despair.
'What have I done ? Father was right, I shouldn't have come. I shouldn't have. This is all my fault. Father was right. I am weak, useless…' he kept thinking over and over, feeling completely lost and guilty. Over guilty.
But then, as if reading his mind, Galadriel spoke :
"Do not blame yourself, young man, for we cannot know at the moment what Sauron did exactly. He may have succeeded, He may have failed, He may have just observed or tested you. The only thing we know is that He is here, and we have to get Him out and prevent Him from coming back."
"But… What if I had just condemned Middle Earth to an endless bane ?" he asked, voice shaking from both fear and regret, as he felt tears forming in his eyes.
"You haven't." Galadriel simply told him.
"H-How can you know ?"
She just smiled at him.
The next hours felt completely unreal into Faramir's mind. Sometimes peaceful, but often painful.
"Close your eyes… Look for it… Feel it. Feel it approaching… Study it…"
"Again."
"Do not try to get away from it, you would make things worse. Welcome it, let it fill your mind… Go inside it… Deeper…"
"Try again."
"Good. Now find Him."
"Once more."
Eventually, the man found it, in the back of his mind. A deep darkness… It called him… It was offering help… Maybe… Maybe he could… Just try… To touch it… Only once… Maybe it could help him...
"Push Him away ! Now !" the lightened voice brought him back to reality. It was Sauron ! How could he think he might have possibly helped him ?
He tried, with all his will and power to push him away, but it turned into flames immediately
Faramir gasped. He was too strong. He was hurting him ! He was burning his mind !
"Mithrandir, meleth-nîn ! Boe grest !" [He needs help !] he vaguely registered the voice of Galadriel.
'Why are you doing this, Faramir ? Trying to gain your father's love ?' a deep, loud, painful voice suddenly echoed in his mind. 'It is useless. You know it. Your father doesn't love you, you are too weak. Just like your mother. He will never love you, he hates you. Just like your brother.'
"N-No…"
'Yes. You know that too. "Father was wise not to trust you", remember ? He told this to you.'
Faramir felt a tear rolling down his cheek. His brother loved him. He was wrong. It was because of the Ring, it wasn't him.
"Alnidh men lad mi, Hiril-nîn !" [He won't let us in, my Lady !] a distant voice cried.
'It was him who spoke. That elf lied to you. You are too weak to please them.'
"No, no, no, no…"
His mind was a mess. He didn't want to believe Him, he couldn't… And yet… What if He was right ? What if it was true ?
The flames before him then took the form of a handsome shining Elf, smiling gently at him and handing him out his hand.
'Join me. Help me. I need you. I know how powerful you are inside. I will make you the strongest man on Middle Earth. Your father and brother will be forced to see it. They will love you, forever. You won't be useless to them anymore.'
Faramir wanted to say yes, it was so tempting… He seemed so trustful…
'Ash nazg durbatulûk…' he heard another voice calling.
He brought his hand, closer. His father would love him… Finally…
'Ash nazg gimbatul…'
It would be over… He would be useful…
'Ash nazg thrakatulûk…'
"FARAMIR !"
Closer… Their fingers were nearly touching themselves...
'Agh burzum ishi krimpatul !'
As he felt the fingers of the shining figure close around his, his body involuntarily jerked back and his mind was filled by a bright and pure light.
"DADWEN ! Dadwen an dúath ! Avog thaw son !" [Go back ! Go back to darkness ! You shall not corrupt him !] a high and pure voice shouted. Immediately the shining form turned back into flames and tried to attack the light but He wasn't strong enough.
Both He and Faramir cried as He was pushed back and was forced to leave his mind.
The man's eyes snapped open to find the shaking and sweating form of the Lady Galadriel, a hand on his forehead, Lord Celeborn and Gandalf holding her shoulders, eyes closed.
Faramir inhaled sharply making the others open their eyes. The white Lady had to take a step back to regain her balance, seemingly exhausted.
"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry…" he kept repeating, locked in his chair, unable to move.
"Do not be, son of Denethor," Galadriel reassured himin a weak voice, "You are still recovering from a head wound. Your strengths are diminished."
But it felt as if the man wasn't hearing.
"I couldn't resist Him… I almost joined Him…"
Gandalf put a comforting hand on his shoulder.
"In the past, even the High Elves have not been able to resist Him. No blame falls on your shoulders."
"But I…"
"No," the Elven Lady interrupted firmly, "You did not join Him. What you tried to do or almost did doesn't matter."
Faramir lowered his head in defeat. Despite all their words, he felt so weak. That made him so dangerous. And Sauron knew it. Sauron… He would be back… And this time, Gandalf would be the only one who could help him...
"Can you take it away from me ?" he asked Galadriel, crying in deep despair and fear.
"What ?" Mithrandir asked, misunderstanding.
"Foreseeing, can you get it out of me ?"
The Wizard looked at him in shock, but the look on the White Lady's face was one of complete understanding and compassion.
"I understand your fear, son of Denethor, but foreseeing is a gift that cannot be taken back. Do not be afraid of yourself. You are much stronger than you think."
Faramir nodded, still not completely convinced. What if he still failed ? Like his Father always told him he would ?
"You will do well, do not worry, for you are not alone. We will keep an eye on you." Galadriel told him, reading his thoughts once more.
"If I can help you bear this burden, I will." said Gandalf putting a comforting hand on his shoulder.
The man bowed his head.
"Now, please, excuse us, for Mithrandir and I have to discuss. Sellenya will escort you back." the White Lady added, bowing her head slightly as the young Elleth appeared back on the platform
Faramir got up and had to close his eyes as he was suddenly overtook by both exhaustion and dizziness. Fortunately, it disappeared as fast as it came.
"Are you feeling well ?" Sellenya asked him in a slightly raspy voice. She looked exhausted, and Faramir couldn't help but think it was his fault.
"I am, thank you."
The elleth handed him out her hand.
"Come. I think you need to rest."
Almost like a living dead, Faramir grabbed her hand and they slowly made they way down.
"Mithrandir, Hír-nîn, Hiril-nîn ?" he still called, turning to face the three tall figures behind him.
"Yes ?" they all answered at the same time.
"Hannon-le." [Thank you] he thanked, his lips curving into a weak smile
"Nog maedol." [You're welcome]
"I will make someone bring you a collation. You must be starving."
Only at that moment, did Faramir realize that the sun was already beginning to set, and that he was, indeed, starving.
"If… You do not mind."
"No, no, of course not." she told him reassuringly, smiling.
"I do not know if you heard what happened back there."
"Vaguely, yes."
"I want you to know, I am so sorry..." he barely whispered, lowering his head in guilt. It was his fault. If he had been stronger…
"No, no !" she told him, getting closer and gently grabbing his shoulders, "Please, do not blame yourself for it. This wasn't your fault."
Her voice was comforting and seemingly truthful, but a small darkness in the very back of the man's mind was doubtful, afraid, suspicious, no obvious reason why. It was just… a feeling.
"Faramir ?" Sellenya brought him out of his thoughts, sensing he was troubled, "May I talk to you about something ?" she asked, sounding both concerned and hesitant.
"Please." he agreed without truly thinking, he had other things in mind and wasn't paying much attention.
"I… I have been told… about your relationship with your father…" she told him in a very unassured voice.
"Oh…" Faramir let out, finally focusing back on the conversation, turning his head to the sky as he felt tears coming to his eyes from the dark memory. It had been a most trying experience…
The elleth cleared her throat in obvious discomfort before continuing :
"I… I just wanted to tell you… that your father does love you, even if he doesn't show much of it."
An embarrassed silence settled between them, broken only by Faramir's shaking voice :
"And how can you be so sure ?" asked the man, voice filled with sadness and resignation, but also tainted with a thin amount of curiosity at what the Lady would answer him.
"He is afraid," she finally answered after a small hesitation, "Your father cared deeply about your mother, and her death devastated him. He doesn't want to go through this again. And, to him, you are so alike to her… And she was so fragile… This is why he treats you as weak, so that you will train harder, and harder, so that you will become stronger than she was. This is also the reason why he is egotistically trying not to care about you as much as your brother. Because he knows your death would be unbearable. To him, it would've meant that he had failed, that he was responsible, and he knows it would destroy him. Again. And in his selfish mind, forcing himself not to love you is the only way for him to bear your passing. Because he is sure that day will come, no matter how hard you trained or how much he tried to protect you…"
Faramir stared at her in, lips trembling, eyes full of tears. They remained here, silent, staring at each other. Faramir was troubled, deeply. He felt as if his entire life had been a lie, as if it had never truly existed. His thoughts were a mess, nothing made sense anymore. He took a long breath, trying to ease his shaking before asking :
"Y-You mean that… H-He does all of this… t-to me… out of love ?"
The Lady slowly nodded and the man finally burst out into tears.
"You will have to be very careful, mellon-nîn. Sauron got inside his head once, he will try again."
"I know that… And apparently, he has found his weakness…"
"Sellenya should be taking care of this."
"Why her..?"
"We have already told him too much. It has to be someone else."
"Answer me, honestly, do you think he will be strong enough ?"
"We will be there to help him."
"That wasn't the answer I was looking for…"
"Only future will tell…"
I know, I know, this chapter was a bit shorter than the others... Sorry.I have a question for you : would you like this story to be more dark with a happy ending, dark with a tragic ending, or lighter with a happy ending ? Cuz right now I have like a dozen possible scenarios, and I have trouble picking one, so just tell me what you'd like !Thank you again for all the favs, follows and reviews !