Hello everyone! I realize it's been well over two years and that none of you will probably recognize this story at this point in time, but I wanted to come back. I've been thinking about redoing and finishing this story. The reason I haven't finished it is because every time I feel the urge to go back to it to finish it, I feel like finishing it would mean a loss for me.
I started out writing this story as my first longer story project. It was a year and a half after my cousin died. He was an alcoholic; got drunk one night after a week in rehab and fell down the stairs. He snapped his neck. I didn't even know it was the alcohol that got him killed until two years after his death. I think that's when I stopped writing this. I couldn't make myself commit to it anymore.
I love this series and story. If someone were to go about and flesh the show into a series of books, I would commit each word to memory. I fell in love with the show because of Patrick Jane. His Greek-reminiscent tragedy and grief matched everything I felt and all of the rage I had within me. I was developeihg anxiety and depression then, and had experienced only emotional neglect in my even younger years. I'm now 17, and am barely getting by dealing with my mental illnesses. They became severe. And now, I'm addicted to multiple forms of self-destruction, just like my uncle. His name was Tommy.
His death hurt me because I feared falling apart, just like him. I feared what my humanity meant.
I was using this story to vent. Things have changed, but always stay the same.
I want to rewrite this. Who knows, maybe it'll take me another two years. But, one day, i will finish Thisbe story, and I will publish it on this site. This story is the symbol of a grief and a brokenness that i didn't want to accept. I'm slowly starting to accept now. And I want to finally finish this, an de make it true to myself at fifteen, and at my current age.
All of this goes out to my uncle. He's a better man than I'll ever be, and maybe he blew his shot. But he did all that he could. And that's all anyone can ask for. I need to let him rest.
many thanks, and stay tuned. -Kay.