A/N: Funny how I wrote the first draft for this somewhere around new year... But now that I post it, it's so frighteningly up to date with my current mood... Sadly I have no Master with me to chase away the dark clouds... But you're not here to hear me rambling. ;P
Have fun with the chapter and stay safe!

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"You've been here already," the Master stated matter-of-factly.

Roka gulped and slowly nodded.

"Why didn't you tell when we arrived?"

"I... didn't remember," she uttered and turned her head away. "That piece of crystal River just handed me... it... uh... you could say, triggered some memory snippets. And... doesn't matter. Let me activate this. It might keep them save."

"Might..." He chuckled and released her shoulder. "You have no idea if this will do anything, right?"

"Kind of... no." She returned to the machine and flicked some more switches. "I did activate this thing a few times. But I don't know why anymore. It was... a test, I think. No... no... I... I deactivated it." Her hands stilled and fell to her sides eventually.

"Doesn't bother me what becomes of those creatures down there, really," the Master remarked dryly and folded his arms over his chest, the look on his face serious. "But with the bots in your head it's peculiar that you don't remember this place... at all. Means, your own mind is blocking the memory. And that's never a good thing."

"No shit," she grumbled irritated and puzzled over the exact function of the machine in front of her. "I think, I chose to forget. I... it's faint, but... doesn't matter. It's not the case anymore."

"What isn't?" he demanded, but got no answer.

When she hit another set of buttons something finally got activated. The machine let out a low pitched noise, then stilled before a deep rumbling wave went through the ground like the roar of an ancient beast, shook the building violently and let dust and debris rain down on their heads. Red particles started to appear, dancing forebodingly in the air and from right outside they could hear the sounds of machines coming to life, metal legs clinking and rushing over more metal and concrete and snow. One glowing eye peeked inside the room they were in, the legs holding the robot steady within the crack so it hovered there like an ugly spider. It retreated with disgustingly rapid movements, followed by what sounded like thousands of its kind.

There was a shift in the air, a tearing in Roka's mind and body. She gasped and held onto the control table, her breath slowly stabilizing. There was no pain... yet, so she turned around and hurried to get the machine working.

"We can't leave," the Master stated from behind, sounding worried and also surprised. "The crystal is active again. And that thing is a mix of atron energy and kefral matter, probably with a few other things as well... couldn't get any better readings. No idea where that glowing is coming from..."

"Atron energy? Does that interfere with my VM?"

"Yeah. I felt it when I faced the intruder below. Time behaved differently than it should have."

Roka finally pushed the last button and a loud roar went through the whole building, shaking it once again, more violently than the first time, the particles in the air all at once flared to an eye blinding glow, increasing in number by the second now, violently pulsating in and out of different shades of red. A shrieking sound as if out of a million machines at once pierced the air outside, followed by an uncanny moment of utter silence.

Broken by the noises of all crawlers suddenly changing direction towards the settlement.

"No!" She hurled around and frantically searched the control table. "Dammit, that wasn't what it should do!"

"Sure?"

"Yeah! No... no, I'm not." She glared at the controls, turned to the Master and her eyes wandered between his face and the particles. Outside the clinking and shuffling of metal legs got louder, increased in numbers by the second.

"Shit..." she mumbled and added a few more curses.

"You screwed up, didn't you?" The Master chuckled, not even thinking about lending her a hand. "Isn't it useless to tinker around here without having all your memories?"

"I... I was so sure it would activate a barrier to keep the crawlers out." Roka glared at the huge machine, but from here on she was clueless what to do. She sighed and rubbed the bridge of her nose. "I made it worse. If I'm right... then it's worse than anything we expected."

"Well..." The Master clapped his hands together and grinned. "The robots don't see us anyway. Let's wait until they're all down there and then get back to..."

"That's not the problem!" She felt them. The memories of a time long gone. "I did it wrong back then," she mumbled. "It shouldn't have worked. Why did it even work? It wasn't... Oh..."

"What? Would you mind filling me in?" the Master drawled. "We've got some time to kill, after all."

"The machine," Roka pointed behind her, "it drains the energy from the barrier around the settlement. And the crawlers have a core made from the roots of the crystal. They are drawn to the centre, so they can power themselves up again. They must be starving... in a way."

For a moment silence stretched between them, then a nasty grin formed on the Master's lips, followed by a mean chuckle. "You just doomed them all."

"Yeah... I did..." She looked away, feeling guilty and also worried. River was still down there. Probably save from the robots, but still... "And I can't deactivate the machine anymore. It drained too much power already. I... I think the whole city would collapse, would I turn it off again. It's all connected in here, you know?"

There were faint memories, bleak images of what once was. She had been here. For a very specific reason. And it had worked. It had been herself who had made it work, she realized now. It shouldn't have. But it had. Somehow. Obviously.

Or the Master wouldn't have been able to kill her.

"We're far away from the settlement," Roka mumbled resigned. "We can't travel." Her fingers ran over the buttons of the machine, without pressing them. "Seems like all we can do is wait."

"Until it's over?"

"Yeah."

"Not trying to play hero anymore?" he teased and bent towards her with a smirk.

She shot him a mean look and leaned against the wall, hands buried in her pockets. The cold temperatures started to gnaw on her, now that the excitement had settled. Luckily it wasn't as icy in here as outside and it was mostly the eerie atmosphere that made her shiver.

"Is there anything we can make a fire with?" she asked while looking around.

"I can warm you up," the Master immediately quipped with a grin and spread his arms.

Roka huffed and grinned back, but then decided to be bold and simply trod in front of him, just to see what he would do. His face dropped in puzzlement when she took another step forward and wrapped her own arms around his exposed torso. A second passed, then another, then she heard his giggle, felt it vibrating through his chest as he enclosed her in his arms and held her tight.

The Master still wasn't sure what to make of it, or if he had interpreted her words from hours ago right. It wasn't easy to understand this little human, torn and undecided as her mind was. But it was obvious that she wanted to be close to him, right now. That much he got. And for as long as she would let him he would enjoy it, although hating himself for being so soft and weak in her presence. It wasn't right, it wasn't who he had always been.

But so many things had changed, had drifted from their known course. Maybe being a little different could yield something good for him, too. He held Roka a little tighter, wanted to preserve this moment, every moment with her, actually.

He hated how badly he wanted her to feel the same.

He hated how utterly lost he was.

He hated how much he hoped for a little peace in his hearts.

And he hated how they wouldn't let him have it.

Again and again it was perplexing how safe Roka felt in his arms, although she could also feel his confusion through their weird, still unexplained mental connection. When he hugged her tighter she did the same, wanting to be warm and secure after over a century of existing as less than a ghost. Roka didn't care how much blood was on his hands and how much more he would add without even blinking. It wasn't important to her. It didn't scare her.

What did was the sudden shift in his emotions, switching from calm to almost frightened in an instant before he let go of her and the sensation vanished, blocked off in the hopes she hadn't noticed. But she had.

There was no time to think about it. Immense pain suddenly surged through her, started in her chest, slid to her shoulder and down her arm to her fingertips. A bright bluish glow made her look down at herself and realize it came from under her clothes. The crystal's energy was still inside her. She gasped when another wave of burning heat shot through her body and she felt the Master grabbing her tightly.

"Okay, this is enough!" he called out. "I'm going to kill this intruder and then we're off!"

"No!" Roka ground out and grabbed his sleeve. They couldn't interfere. Not yet. "Master, listen. Just wait until she's are gone and..."

"I'm not letting anyone hurt you! I'll stop this, now!" he hissed, knitting his brows together, his eyes darting from one side to the other as if frantically searching for a solution. No, it was more like a slight twitching...

"You can't." Her voice was barely a whisper now.

"Of cause I-"

"No! No, it's not possible." The pain intensified, sending her to her knees. Hot waves burned their way through her shoulder and heart, shooting up to her head where the crystal's energy bore into her mind, scraping and breaking her walls until it sparked more images, memories. She tried to keep them away, tried to block them from unlocking one by one.

"I wanted to forget! Don't... I don't want them!" she cried out, clutching her head as if it would do anything.

The Master was with her in an instant, sat on his haunches, his fingers on her temples, forehead dropped against hers. "Let me see," he whispered.

"No." Roka shook her head, tears filling her eyes. "I never wanted this. I..."

"What? What is it?" he demanded. "Tell me!"

She clutched at his wrists, trying to tear his hands away. He wasn't supposed to see. She didn't want to remember, pleaded the Master with her eyes to leave it alone, but he stayed put, his eyes never leaving hers, his fingers firm against her temples. But then he loosened them and grabbed her elbow, helped her stand up, only to push her against the huge machine behind them.

"It's ripping you apart," he growled. "If I don't interfere, it will kill you."

"H... how do you...?"

"Because I feel it! And you have to let me know what is going on so I can shield your mind properly! It's linked to you on a psychic level. If I can cut the connection it won't be able to harm your body."

Roka whimpered as more pain let her knees become weak once again, but the Master held her upright, pushed her against the machine to secure her and cradled her head in his palms.

"I won't harm you," he said in a soft voice, almost pleadingly. "I could never. Please, trust me."

"Master..." She winced at the pain and tried to fight back the emerging memories. It was no use. They came streaming back into her head, forcefully, making her sob and whimper once more. "Help me," she pleaded weakly. "I don't... not anymore. It's not true anymore."

"What isn't?" His thumbs tenderly stroked over her cheeks, his nose almost touching hers. "Tell me, little crow. I'm here for you."

More pain, more images. He would see them, all of them. She didn't want to remember, but it was too late.

Now that she knew about it, now that she had proof, now that she had wandered time and space for a century, without hope, without ever being remembered, without anywhere to go or to stay and no one to chase away the loneliness in her heart...

There was nothing left. No reason to fight, no way to go. No goal to chase.

She sat there on her knees, not feeling the cold snow falling on her skin and head, not feeling the wind that tore at her clothes, not tasting the ice in her lungs that made every breath seem like swallowing glass.

There had been nothing. Simply nothing.

"Tell me," he almost whispered.

Roka glared at him, remembering how it had been, thinking he would never return, believing she would never see those warm eyes again. Even after a century it had hurt, so unbearably much.

"I wanted to die," she breathed out, leaning closer to him without really having control over it.

His eyes went dark at her words, the air around him radiating a dangerous tingling all of a sudden. She felt his rage bubbling up, not towards her, but towards himself. Because it had taken him so long to find her, because she wouldn't have been so broken, had the link properly worked.

His hands moved up, still cradling her head, but his thumbs pressed against her temples now, their faces so close to one another Roka could hardly think anymore. The rhythm of her heart was maddening, drumming in her ears, pounding through the tips of her fingers that slowly closed around his upper arms, digging into the cloth of his jacket. The pain made her sight blur, but her mind ignored it, was too distracted, too mesmerized by those depths of almost no iris, the blackness that could hold the stars of the universe. She leaned still closer, their noses touched ever so slightly.

His thumbs stroked lightly against her temples, reassuring her before he drove inside her head, gently and carefully and still making her inhale sharply at the sensation of their minds touching. It was different than before. He was. And herself too. Something had changed, may it only be her perception, but it was enough to shove the pain away into some corner of her being she could ignore for a while.

Roka reached up, fisting both hands into his shirt to sturdy herself and also to draw him nearer to her. She felt his presence in her mind flicker for a moment, his eyes snapped open and to hers.

"I have you, don't worry," he mumbled.

"I know," she whispered and tugged at his shirt some more, inched her head closer, felt his breath on her lips and his hearts against her chest.

His presence flickered once more, but then flared back to life like a fire and in the same moment Roka closed the gap between them, gently kissing his slightly opened mouth. There was a sharp inhale on his side, his response immediate as he started to move his lips against hers, carefully, as if to test if she would back away, bolder when she didn't. Their eyes fell shut, the Master drove deeper into her mind, building up a barrier there that would shield her. He tasted of time, of a promise they had shared so endlessly long ago. She felt him brushing the broken memories, dragging them to the forefront for him to observe, while she deepened the kiss even further, pushing against him more urgently. Her tongue moved against his, eliciting a quiet groan from him that made her head light, almost tipsy.

The pain was forgotten, although she faintly was still aware of it, something in her mind clicked into place. It was done. She was safe. The Master fully pushed himself against her, kissing her thoroughly and almost desperately as if he had never done so before, and she was no less urgent in her response, having waited with this for far too long. And it steadied her, kept her conscious while the lost memories fully resurfaced, filling her head, without overwhelming her, thanks to him.

She was wandering through a warzone, hidden and invisible like always. There was one way to prevent this, one person that had to die for all of this to end, for this planet to find peace again before it could be annihilated by one stupid decision. The future she had seen here was just so... useless. She was no Time Lord, she was not obliged to non-interference, so she did as she pleased.

Roka felt him smile against her lips, so widely it almost interrupted the kiss, but she grabbed his shirt tighter, pulled him closer, slid one hand upwards into his hair...

The night was cool, the air motionless. She strode towards the camp where the leader of this disaster was residing, guarded, but utterly helpless against a ghost. They would never know. Soldiers were running around, some shouting orders, others aiming at an enemy only they could see.

The sound of gunshots filled the air, the whistling of bullets flying past and around her when she realized she had gotten caught in an attack and hastily searched for a hiding place. They didn't need to see her for a stray bullet to...

She felt the pain before the sound reached her ears. Her body was in shock from the sudden wound, unable to cope with it. It was hard to breathe, hurt unbelievably and was accompanied by coughed up blood. Somehow she managed to stumble behind one of the barriers, dragged herself further and to the trees that were right behind. Only then fell her gaze down to her chest, saw the hole in her clothes, knew the bullet had perforated her lungs.

She coughed up more blood, drew in painful breaths that got shallower by the second. She curled herself together, shaking and almost laughing. She wouldn't survive this. The wound was lethal.

So it would end.

A century of travelling, one hundred years of being a ghost. No, not even that. Ghosts could be remembered, but no one would ever know she had existed.

It hurt. She cried silent tears, unable to laugh. It were not tears of pain, but of hopelessness, of being defeated. Of knowing she would die without ever meeting him again.

A sudden sensation of warmth and comfort flooded Roka's mind, making her aware of the tears on her face and the agony those memories brought back. But he was here. His lips now gently moving against hers, reassuringly instead of urgent. Slow and warm and making her know she was safe to remember and would never be so lonely again.

So lonely it hurt more than this wound ever could. It was ridiculous. It was unfair! Not like this... not such a useless ending to her long life. But there was no escape, no way... She coughed up more blood, her breaths ragged and wheezing, hurting unbelievably. Her vision blackened, the world fading. She no longer heard the gunshots, no longer felt the pain or the tears or anything at all.

And then it burned in her chest, like fire or acid, burned her from the inside, hollowed her out. She hurled around onto her back and screamed, and when she looked down at herself she was sure to hallucinate as her body started to dissolve into billions and billions of tiny particles, into a swirling mush of colour. Each time she moved, more of her chest vanished, making her faintly wonder how she could still be alive like that.

And then it stopped, as if time halted each and every movement of those atoms ceased for a tiny fraction of eternity, only to then move back into her body, leaving her shaking and sobbing and clueless as to what had happened.

But when she looked down at her chest... there was no wound anymore.

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