The effect was worse than the first time. A vague thought told Roka it had to be because of the proximity to the crystal, but in the end it didn't matter. For the fraction of a moment time was frozen, afterimages mimicked all of their movements, the air was thick and didn't let her breath. She wanted to grab tighter onto the Master's arm, but couldn't move.

It stopped in an instant, a jolt shooting through Roka as if it were lightning. She collapsed to the ground and rolled onto her back, a muffled scream choking out from her lungs at the sudden pain. She couldn't even pinpoint where it came from, it was just everywhere at once. But now she also remembered, recalled the last bit of missing memory and knew, would she not stop him here, this future would never happen.

Even if it meant for her to probably die here, now.

"Master," she whimpered, managed to roll to the side and curl herself together.

The sight of Roka was too much, ripped its way through the fog of frenzy and madness and the noise. He halted in his steps, turned around and rushed back to kneel down beside her.

"Seems to need a really serious amount of damage to trigger your healing," he remarked, curiosity and a little worry fighting within him.

"It's not true anymore," she ground out. "It stopped. Master, you mustn't..." Roka winced in pain and curled herself to an even smaller ball, hands clutched around herself.

"Don't tell me what I must and mustn't," he growled and tilted his head with a slight smile. "Can't you see it? All the possibilities? Can't you hear it calling?!" He giggled again to himself, feeling the rush of anticipation, the adrenalin of what might be. He heard it, heard it call for him, drumming in his ears like...

Roka grabbed his arm and tore herself up at him, wiping away coughed-up blood and tears with her sleeve in the process. "You have to stop," she pleaded. "I don't want to lose this. I lost you once, I got you back, and I don't want to miss a second of it. Even if it all ends here."

His heartbeat was so loud in his ears, so bloody loud he couldn't think clearly. Ever since he had seen her memories they beat that loud. It drove him mad, forced him to action, urged him forward.

His heartbeat... he refused to accept, still denied himself reality.

It wasn't possible. It wasn't allowed to be possible.

But Roka could fix it. If only he could get a hold of those regenerative powers, so different to a Time Lord's, yet so much more helpful in his particular case.

What was it she had just said? She wouldn't die anyway, what... He felt her small body against his, how she dragged herself to her knees and leaned against him, both hands on his chest, then cradling his face, her eyes boring into his.

There wasn't much life left in them. The last jump must have broken her body badly.

"Master, listen." Her voice was the only thing beside his heartbeat he could actually hear. "You're not yourself. I don't know what..."

Something rushed past the two, a shadow in dark clothes. Now Roka could see it too, without being reminded first. Because she already remembered. The Master shot to his feet, was so eager to run after the intruder, but she held onto him with all her remaining - steadily fading - strength.

"You mustn't harm her!" she called out. "Just leave!"

"Don't tell me what I... her?"

He fell silent. So suddenly and final that time seemed to stumble again. His head turned, first to the person stretching out her hand to the crystal, then to Roka.

What did you do to yourself?

You have been here before.

Everything snapped into place for him, forcefully, driving away the... no, his hearts beat as frantically as they had before, but now he couldn't hear them any longer. He never had. It weren't his hearts.

I wanted to die.

Roka's words rang in his head over and over again, his gaze fell on her shaking form, clinging desperately to him, his mind remembered that he had sworn to protect this silly human, not to hurt her! Not again! Not ever... ever...

It roared in his head, everything drowned and blurred, became a mush of impressions and emotions he didn't want. With a whimper the Master clutched his head, sunk to his knees and felt Roka's hands on him, her forehead leaned against his as she stroked over his hands. He felt her fingers brush over his skin in movements that lacked control, they slipped down, somewhat touching his temples.

And then...

Silence.

There was only silence, forcing his mind to snap back into place, back to where it belonged in the absence of the beating rhythm of four. He glanced up surprised, saw the light slowly fading out of Roka's eyes, her fingers still resting on his temples for a moment.

Then she collapsed in his arms. He barely caught her body in his surprise and carefully went on his knees with her. His hand brushed away some stray hair from her forehead, caressed her feverish cheeks. Now his hearts started to race for an entirely different reason, fearfully hammering against his ribs.

"No... no, no, no, no! What have I... It can't be! Tell me, it can't be!" He shook her slightly, sighing in relieve at her opening eyes, swallowing a lump of dread in his throat when he could barely feel her pulse any longer. His head shot towards the person at the crystal, back to Roka and fell on the small spot of glowing blue that still sat on her chest. "You absorbed all of that energy," he muttered in disbelieve.

"Yeah, I did," she breathed out weakly.

And in that moment her younger self in front of the crystal started to glow and vanish completely in blindingly blue light. The ground shook, all the energy vibrated violently through the air, let it hum and bristle and crackle. Someone absorbing all of this... it would tear them to pieces, would do unimaginable things to them. But someone, who was a glitch, a paradox, a dissolving mass of impossibility...

"You... can die," he realized dryly, "The crystal made you mortal again."

Not forever. One day she would have still become a ghost without him. But it had given her time. Lots of it.

"Morron," she grumbled in his arms. "Look at what you did again."

The Master did. Although he could feel the energy closing in, although he wasn't sure what it would or could do to him. "No," he muttered again, dropping his head. "I didn't want this. I didn't... I don't know why I... it was so loud. It was just so... It wouldn't let me think."

There was no answer, no movement. He raised his head to find Roka's eyes closed, to feel no movement in her body that indicated any breath, he couldn't feel her single heartbeat, couldn't hear her mind inside of his own.

So many things he had wanted her to know, had wanted to tell. He reached out with his mind, hoped to find her presence that had become so familiar over the past weeks.

But there was only silence.

It couldn't be true. The crystal's energy crept closer, threatened to swallow them both. But the Master no longer cared. Not for any future, nor for immortality any longer. All he could do was to stare at the lifeless body in his arms, to utter her name over and over again, rocking back and forth. It was not true... He had not killed her in his mindless chase. It could not be, it could not... Not after he had searched for her for so long, not after all they had been through, not when they had finally found together and were travelling the stars like he had always wished to do with her. Not when she had endured so much pain and loneliness on her long journey, not when her very soul had been so torn that death was the only thing she had wished for. Not when she had decided to live nonetheless, even when he had offered her an end.

Something nudged against his mind. Weak and almost not even there, but he could still feel it. She was alive! He glared down at Roka, gingerly pushed two fingers of his right hand to her temple and listened. There was her voice, calling to him from within her unconscious sleep, and a second voice, also hers, crying out from within the energy of the crystal that now entirely surrounded them.

I found you, her inner voice whispered, and he was not sure which of her it was. I couldn't bear to live with this loneliness, but you are here.

Only now did he notice the tears dripping down from his eyes onto her face and wiped them away before leaning down and breathing a kiss to her cold lips. "I am," he uttered, "and I get it now. It makes sense... I wish it wouldn't. Wait for me, I'll be right back. You know I always return." He looked up to her younger version. "Let me give you some hope to take a long."

Carefully he lay Roka down and faced the figure in the light. She was slightly hovering above the ground, one hand hanging limb against her side, the other stretched out towards the crystal, without really touching it. It wasn't necessary. The last times she had been here, she had steadied the connection, each time a little more, had lost herself and every memory of this process along the way, only for this one final moment to take place.

But it was too much. No matter how prepared, no matter the glitch, a mere human body was not able to hold so much energy for long. The Master could sense it through the vibrations in the air and moved faster until he had reached the centre and could grab Roka's stretched out wrist.

Like lightning the energy shot from her through his body. The Master gasped and ground his teeth together, while pulling Roka into his arms to hold her firm and kiss her glowing forehead under the hood.

"It's enough," he breathed. "You can let go. I'm here. And I will always be, even though you won't remember. But I am. I will find you." He pushed his head against hers, pinched his eyes shut and held her tighter. "You will sense it inside you when you lose hope, when you stray from your path and think this is the end." Tenderly he lowered her hood, brushed her blond hair away, cupped her face with both hands and pressed his thumbs against her temples. "I'm right inside here. Remember? You were too inexperienced, so it never fully broke. I'm still there. You can always feel it. I'm always, always with you, little crow."

Roka's lids opened, light shone out of them, letting her eyes glow in the most beautiful green he had ever seen. Her mouth moved ever so slightly, forming a single word he could only see, but not hear.

"Master..."

He nodded, moved in closer and kissed her tenderly, absorbed the excessive energy until he was sure the rest wouldn't harm her. Around them the light slowly dimmed, time faded back into its normal ways and all sounds and vibrations returned to their normal state of being. Carefully he lay her down between some crystal roots. Her eyes were closed now, her breath even. He knew she would live and so he left without turning around and strode back to the present.

"I'm not letting you die, little crow," the Master growled and breathed out the energy he had consumed. It tingled through his veins and probably would knock him out for a few days, but it wasn't harmful. "Be right back."

He wasn't eager to risk anything by teleporting her with him, so he carried Roka out of sight of her past self and into a small corridor, where she was hidden behind some debris. Then he jumped to his TARDIS with the Vortex Manipulator and collected everything he could think of to at least stabilize her body enough to bring her here, jumping back in time to return only a second after he had left her.

The Master hid and watched as the younger Roka slowly heaved herself off the ground, glared at her hands and down her body as if she could see what the crystal had done to her. A last time she looked back, turned hear head upwards to the chaotic noises that came from above. The crawlers had finally arrived to wipe out the whole place.

The figure swayed, held her head for a moment and then scuffled away into another corridor to continue her journey until they would meet again.

There was nothing he could do anymore for her, so the Master turned his attention to where he was still able to fix things, even though he was sure Roka would never forgive him for this. He would never forgive himself. But at least he wanted her to be alive, and safe.

oOo~-̶̰͕͑̐ ̵̡͔̕~̷̱̤̖̆͋͘ ̴͍̈́̂̽.̴̯̦̹͛ ̶͍̎͌#̷̡̳̟͆ ̷̲̇̋̑-̸̧͙͂ ̶͕̜̆̐̿~̵̡̛̳͖͂̃ ̵̣̊̓̄.̷͇̺́̏ ̷̞̑͐#̶̢͈̦͌ ̴̰̃̐͠-̸̝́ ̵̛̱͉~̸̫̈̎ ̴̙̇̿̄.̵̧͙̻̓͛̓ ̵̦̠̈́̿#̵̳͎̯̀̑ ̷͓̩̞̉̑͑-̴̮̞̕ ̸̢̭̪̊~̷͔͇̞̈́͝ ̵̙̬̓.̶̰̘̏͘ ̶̯̝͐̿͛#̷̪̆́ ̶̼̎̾͋-̸̨́ ̴͙̹̪͆͊~̵͓̓̔͐ ̶̛͎͍̗.̷̀̎ͅ ̴̳̬͆͝#̵͉̻̭̓̑ ̶͈̗̩̂̈́-̷̢̛̙͆͐ ̶̙̐~̶̬͓̎̈ ̵͓̄.̶̹̪̆͝͝ͅ ̵̥̑̀̈́#̵̭͚͂̔ ̷̤͔̈́͜-̷̥̗̈ ̵̝̀͆͘~̶̓̿͜ ̸̺̣̈́.̴̜͗̅ ̴̿͜#̷͈͉̋ͅ ̴̡̠̒̾-̵̡̯̤̒̕ ̸̺͋͂~̸̦̗͚̾̕ ̸̭̝͋.̸̢͖̻̅̇͝ ̴̨̬͗#̵̺͍̮̂ ̴͖̫̈́ͅ~oOo

Roka dreamed of a light, of the power coursing through her veins, tearing at her atoms and her very being, until she felt strong arms around her and heard a soft voice whispering soothing words. For the first time in over a century she felt save and warm and a new courage seeped into her heart she had thought to be impossible.

The feeling fully engulfed her mind and finally woke her up. Perplex she blinked a few times, turned her head on the soft pillow to take a look at the room she was in. The walls were completely lined with filled book shelves, only leaving a single spot for a wide window that showed a nebulae outside. In front of one half of the window stood a desk with lots of papers and mechanical parts.

Her attention went back to the bed, finding it extraordinarily comfy. Not too soft and not too hard, with nice, dark grey pillows and blankets.

It smelled like him.

This must be the Master's room, she concluded and wrapped herself tighter into the blankets. Only then did Roka realize that she was still alive, although her head and muscles ached horribly. The last thing she remembered was the paralyzing pain from the jump and her desire to keep the Master from killing her past self.

It must have worked. Obviously. And he seemed to have brought her back and somehow mostly healed the damage the jump through the Atron energy had caused her body. Carefully she moved her limbs. It hurt a little, but not as if something inside her was still broken, so she climbed out of bed and realized suddenly she wore only a T-shirt and her boxers.

Great.

Undecided what to do next she stood in the middle of the room, looking left and right, contemplating whether or not to let her curiosity win and take a peek at his stuff. At least at the book shelves. But before she did, she pulled open a closet and luckily found some of his beloved black dress shirts in it, of which she donned one, leaving the buttons open though. The sleeves were too long, but she actually liked how they covered her glitching hands.

After that she found a door to a small, but well equipped bathroom with both, a shower and a bathtub. Roka contemplated whether or not to let herself be soaked in some hot water for a while, but decided against it, not being in the mood to maybe lose consciousness and drown. That really would be a shame, after she came back alive. Since she had no idea if her organs were damaged, it was too much of a risk, so she only took a quick shower.

Hair still damp and feeling immensely better, being clean again, she continued her spying and wasn't surprised to find a device here that was able to produce food and cold drinks. The Master knew how to get comfortable, and Roka happily made herself some sandwiches and downed a few glasses of juice, before she took a look at the rest.

His books were an interesting collection from all over time and space, as she had expected. After a while she pulled out one of them and sat down in front of the free half of the window, cross legged and quickly sunken into the pages. She wouldn't get helpful answers on her own, after all, and finding the Master within his own TARDIS could also become quite the hassle. He'd return to his room sooner or later, she concluded, if only to look after her state.

"Geeze, you're not making this easy, you know that?" his voice grumbled from the door, who knows how much later.

Roka slowly drifted out from the story and blinked a few times to find back to reality. The Master stood a bit away, hands buried in his pant pockets, gaze fixated on her.

"Why's that?" she asked eventually. "I didn't want to sleep anymore and thought waiting for you here would be easiest."

He rolled his eyes to the side, pursing his lips slightly. "Not what I meant... It's just having my three favourite things in such close proximity." Roka raised a questioning brow at him and he smiled impishly. "Well... the universe," he waved at the window, "books... and you, half naked." At the last part he poked out his tongue, the smile widening a little. "Is that one of my shirts?"

"It is," she huffed and closed the book to lift herself from the ground. She didn't move from where she stood, though, and only crossed her arms. "I think, you have a lot of explaining to do. And no excuses, for once. Please."

His smile dropped and he nodded, but then shrugged and raised his hands, palms facing upwards. "I don't know where to start. Ask."

"Very well..." Roka leaned back at the window and thought about what she wanted to know most urgently. "How does it come we even landed at that place?"

"I'm actually still figuring it out." The Master rubbed his neck and shrugged once more. "I programmed my TARDIS to follow the link on your chest... but she shouldn't follow the signal on her own... normally."

"Okay... malfunctions, I get it." She had already suspected it.

Her presence in here also might disturb some functions, but that was only speculation not at all helpful right now.

There was something a lot more urgent she had to know, although she hardly dared to speak it out. It was the root of the problem, though. The one thing that made him hide from her and prevented him from sleeping. The thing that had made him snap and lose his mind. Again.

Roka took a deep breath and glanced back up at the Master.

"The drums are back, aren't they?"

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