Hi.

It's been a year, I know. Terrible track record. I'm so sorry about this. I was really busy with school and I left writing for almost a year. I returned to writing a few weeks back and surprisingly, this chapter took a long time to finally become what I wanted.

If you are still following this story, thank you very much. Huge thanks for the reviews to fallingstar22 and Credit18. Your feedback makes my day.

So here's Tori. Enjoy!

Tori

Just give me a reason, just a little bit's enough
Just a second we're not broken just bent, and we can learn to love again
It's in the stars, it's been written in the scars on our hearts
We're not broken just bent, and we can learn to love again

- Just Give Me a Reason,

Pink feat. Nate Ruess

I wake up alone in my bed without the familiar hand carefully wrapped around me, without wakeful blue eyes staring back at me.

I sit up straight, panic gripping me immediately. The bed is still warm beside me, the pillow still has a dent in it, the weight of last night still hangs heavily in the air.

My first instinct is to believe he is gone, has once again run away from questions that need to be answered and decisions that need to be made despite whatever promises, with words or not, were made last night.

Hunter freaking Bradley.

But then, there is the faintest of sound in the distance followed by the clattering of utensils, that robs the morning of its peace.

"Shit, sorry." Then there is a startled weary face at the door. "I was making breakfast, didn't mean to wake you up."

I laugh, because there is relief bubbling through me that he is still here, has stayed, stuck with me, because he looks better than the man he had been reduced to in the last few days, because he is still looking at me with awe-struck apologizing eyes and I cannot seem to stop myself from hysterically giggling.

"I was already up," I manage, giddiness flooding me. "It's cool."

And somehow he is smiling too, head bowed slightly, his hair hanging across his forehead, and I begin to think that maybe things will work out.

It does not take too long for my bubble to burst.

There is half burnt toast and eggs for breakfast, with absolutely no mention of last night.

And I realize, it had only been a moment of weakness for Hunter, one tiny moment where his walls had been breached and his emotions had found a way to the surface.

He had never intended to say those things, had never intended to make those promises, probably had never intended to come here or spend the night or kiss me.

Shit.

Last night only happened because he was weak and needy in that moment, not because he was ready for anything more.

I have to lock myself in the bathroom for that thought to sink in and as I collapse on the floor, silent sobs racking through me, I wish I could say it was the same for me.

We make our way through the woods together.

"How do you walk this entire way every day?" Hunter groans beside me.

Surprisingly, we have somehow retained the previous fluidity of our conversations and a sense of normalcy surrounds us. It's precarious and just hangs by a thread, vulnerable and delicate, but it's there and for now, it seems enough.

Maybe we don't want the same things, maybe we never will, and even though it rips me apart, making every part of me ache and hurt and yearn, it does not mean I cannot enjoy these little moments.

Or so I tell myself.

"It's not that much of a walk, really," I tell him, a teasing accusation hanging in my words. "You feel it's long because you have been streaking through it forever."

"But streaking is a lot of fun," he protests.

"I'm pretty sure it is if you are trying to kill yourself," I reply drily, with a roll of my eyes.

I wait for a sarcastic comeback, glancing at him sideways, but there is no witty remark.

Hunter has just frozen in his place, his feet glued to the ground as his eyes stare at the ground, aimless and blank.

"Hunter?"

There is no response and suddenly I am unsure of what I am dealing with.

"Hey," my voice sounds panicked, even to my own ears. I reach out tentatively for him, my fingers wrapping around his wrists and say a little more firmly, "Hunter?"

The physical contact seems to work and he snaps out of the trance like state he had worked himself into. He looks at me for one unclear hazy moment, his eyes lost and unfocused, before turning his gaze away.

"What just happened?" I breathe out, my heart hammering in my chest.

I have seen Hunter wake up from nightmares, broken and discordant but zoning out in the middle of a conversation is a new and I cannot help but be worried about it.

"I... I don't know," he whispers hoarsely.

"Seriously?" I feel the worry being replaced by anger. I have had enough of his bullshit, enough of the evasive prevaricating answers and so I erupt, "What the hell is wrong with you, Hunter? You know, I can't read minds and if you don't tell me what is wrong, I can't help you."

I pull away from him and draw a few steps backwards, creating some distance between us.

His gaze clears as he registers my words.

"Tori-" he starts, almost pleading.

"Don't. Don't talk," I snap. "Turning up at four in the morning after you avoid me very diligently for four fucking days and then this. How can you expect me to live through all of this without an explanation? We were supposed to talk in the morning and you said nothing, and honestly, I'm too scared to push you anymore. Goddamit, Hunter, why does it have to be so difficult with you?"

He looks at me without a word, and I continue, almost wistfully, "Remember how things were before that stupid drunken night? You used to talk to me about whatever was going on. Things were so much better then."

He runs a hand through his hair, shaking his head ruefully.

"I know," he finally says.

"I don't understand this, Hunter. We know we never really meant whatever we said."

"I can't do this, Hunter. Not like this. I am not one of your girls."

"Maybe this is a mistake, it's probably all wrong."

"We never wanted to hurt each other and it's sad that things happened the way they happened but can't we move past it?"

"Yes," his voice is barely a whisper.

I know I should let it go here. This is an improvement from wherever we were in the morning, and I should just let this conversation end here. But my tongue has other plans, churning out words before I can filter them.

"And the kisses-"

His head snaps up at that, his eyes meeting mine in surprise and tiredness.

"-that's for another conversation," I say quickly, trying to save the situation.

"No, they aren't," he sighs heavily, wearily leaning against a tree. "It's all connected, twisted."

I know he is right.

"But one thing at a time, okay?" I say tiredly. "First we talk about the nightmares and blackouts or whatever just happened now, and then we figure out the rest."

He nods in reply.

"I was going to tell you about last night. I was just... figuring things out."

"You don't have to do it all alone, that's what I'm saying."

Silence reigns for a while and we quietly resume our walk, the sounds of the woods surrounding us.

And just as we are about to enter the waterfalls, he whispers, "Thank you, Tori."

I realize as I sit surrounded by paperwork, that I have become an unsteady unsure mess of a person. I have always known myself to think pragmatically and clearly, to always know what I want and what I don't.

But when it comes to Hunter, I find myself confused and indecisive, failing to make decisions and grasping at my wayward emotions, trying to make sense of it all.

I know I want something more with him, something more than this virtual relationship that we seem to have transcended into, where we do not acknowledge our actions and their consequences but I also know that if he does not want to go down that road, I will still be fine with it.

I probably won't be happy but I will be okay, because if there is anything that I have learnt in the last few days, it is that he makes my life a little better just by being in it.

"Coffee?"

A smile breaks onto my face at that.

"You are a savior, Shane," I marvel, taking the cup from him.

"Stuck with paperwork?" he asks, taking a quick look at the mess of files around me.

"Ugh, yes," I groan. "I hate the end of sessions."

"I know, right?" he reciprocates my dislike. "Cam has been up my ass lately, thanks to the Annual Exam."

"Oh yes, his precious little Annual Exam," I say bitterly.

He laughs in return.

"This is better than your usual coffee," I comment, taking a sip from the cup.

"Yeah, well," he mutters, eyes skittering. "I had a little help."

Realization dawns upon me. His shaky voice and darting eyes indicate only one thing.

"From Kapri?" I press, a teasing grin on my face.

His face turns bright red at the mention of her name and he mumbles an incoherent yes.

I burst out laughing at the sight of Shane, all embarrassed and shy.

"The last time I saw you like this was in eighth grade," I tell him. "Remember Hannah?"

He laughs at that memory.

"I never talked to her though," he says.

"I know, and you cried when she left Blue Bay Harbour."

"I remember that," he says sheepishly.

"So how are things with you and Kapri?"

"It's... new," he replies with a smile plastered on his face. "And nice."

I find myself smiling too at his admission.

"We weren't really planning on it," he continues. "It sort of just happened."

"I know," I say sincerely, because I really do.

"I saw Hunter today," he says, as if sensing what is on my mind. "He looked a lot better than a zombie."

I chuckle.

"Things better then, between the two of you?" he asks promptly.

"Um. It's a work in progress, I guess," I answer honestly.

"Well, you'll get there," he smiles.

I hope so.

I nod in reply, grateful for the kind words.

"I have a class in ten minutes," he says, checking his watch. "See you later?"

"Yes, sure."

I have been aware of his presence for a while now, eyes which I know are blue following me, glued to me.

On another day, I would have been annoyed; I am way past being creeped out by Hunter's antics. But today, I cannot help but smile because he has decided to find me and seek me out.

"I know you are there, Hunter," I say it aloud once I have dismissed my class.

"I wanted you to know," he replies from somewhere.

"Can you at least step out? I feel like I'm talking to a ghost."

There's the sound of a twig breaking followed by the swoosh of the harsh wind and then he is standing in front of me.

"You crave drama, don't you?" I roll my eyes at him, despite the realization that he has intentionally created a space between us, standing a little far away from me. I understand it, probably I would have done the same.

He laughs in reply, a thorough joyous sound that makes my skin tingle.

"No class to teach?" I ask, trying to shrug off the feeling.

"I let them go early," he replies.

"Sensei Bradley showing mercy, who would have thought?" I say, a teasing lilt in my voice.

"I don't make them slave as hard as you," he counters.

"That's not true!"

"Yes, it is," he flashes a crooked smile at me. "You made them train in the rain."

"Because they needed to learn more about their element!" I cry indignantly. "Besides you brought them out in a thunderstorm."

"Touché," he concedes.

I realize we have gravitated towards each other in the midst of the conversation. I know he notices too by the way his eyes dart between me and the space between us, but he makes no effort to pull back and so I don't either.

A silence falls in between us after that and we walk through the woods together, our shoulders brushing occasionally, making my heart flutter dangerously.

"Hey Tori?"

"Yeah?"

"About this morning. I mean, the freezing thing, and also last night. I have been having these nightmares about a time I want to run away from and just forget, you know. And they have been happening a lot lately, and I just don't know how to deal with them."

I was not expecting this: for him to phrase his problems into words and say them aloud.

Not so soon, anyway.

"I don't think you should be running away, Hunter," I tell him softly. "I think you need to face it."

He pauses to consider what I have just said. His face has turned paler and I wonder what he is really talking about.

"I don't know if I can," he whispers eventually, eyes refusing to meet mine.

He sounds defeated and I hate seeing him like this.

I don't think too much about it, simply close in on the distance between us and place a hand on his cheek, forcing him to look at me.

"For what it's worth, I believe in you," I whisper, not paying attention to how close we are or how my heart beats thunderously in my chest.

He takes in a deep breath and smiles weakly.

I let my hand fall awkwardly and make to pull back, but before I can do anything, he presses his lips on mine.

Oh.

I am caught off-guard for a moment, a confused fraction of time, before I respond to him: my mouth moving against his, slowly yet assuredly and then pulling him closer.

We have stolen too many of these kisses, for it to matter anymore.

His hands find a place around my waist and I let mine rest on his chest. This lasts longer than all the ones before this, stretches infinitely and makes me warm inside.

We pull back almost reluctantly and stay wrapped in an embrace, which is a welcome change from all the previous times.

"So we have really raised the bar on this complicated thing, huh?" he asks, pulling back to meet my eyes. "Now we kiss each other too."

It should not but it makes me laugh, "I guess."

"I don't know about you guys but this feels like a great opportunity to binge on pizzas while Cam gives us stupid details about the Annual Exam," Dustin says, picking up a slice of pizza from the table.

"I do agree with you, dude," Shane says, following Dustin's suit. "Just don't let Cam hear you."

"Too bad he already did," the Samurai states coldly, walking into Ninja Ops coolly.

We had been using Ninja Ops for all the meetings between the five of us. It felt like a fitting tribute to the place that had become home for many long and dreary months.

I have to stifle a laugh at the exchange between the three of them.

Shane and Dustin cannot seem to do anything but stare at each other awkwardly while Cam has busied himself with the computer.

"Hey, sorry I am late," Hunter saunters into the underground shelter.

"Not a problem," Cam says icily. "Do you want pizza, Hunter?"

Hunter looks startled out of his wits and looks around the room uncomfortably, perhaps searching for some anomaly.

"Um... no thanks?" he finally says, hesitantly.

Hunter looks at me with incredulous eyes, trying to gauge the situation.

"What the hell?" he asks, settling beside me.

"I'll fill you in later," I manage to let out in between uncontrollable giggles.

Meanwhile, Cam has moved onto lecturing two of the seniormost senseis while they grovel for forgiveness.

And Hunter looks on in amazement, holding me steady as I dissolve into senseless laughter.

"Planning to surf tomorrow?" Hunter asks as we reach the end of the woods.

Night has fallen hours ago and I can see the city lights dazzling in the distance.

"I don't know, maybe," I say.

"Okay then," he says awkwardly. "If you do, I'll see you at the beach."

"If not, then the woods?"

"Yes, of course."

He turns away with that but I call after him, "Get some sleep, okay?"

He nods before disappearing into the night.

Sleep eludes me for a few hours as I lie in bed, a war of thoughts in my head.

Surprisingly, I haven't been thinking about us, because the kiss in the woods made me realize that maybe certain things should be allowed to develop spontaneously without rigorous words and talks trying to shape them.

What bothers me is the increase in the frequency of the nightmares that Hunter stubbornly refuses to talk about.

I had come to the conclusion that they were about the time before the Bradleys and the Thunder Ninja Academy, because that is something he never talked about.

Besides that scar.

I still shudder at the memory of that scar. Maybe there is no story behind it and honestly, I would be happy if it were that way, but given how he has always deflected from telling me anything about it, I fear something worse.

I doze off after that, sleep finally claiming me, wrapping a blanket of darkness around me.

The entire beach stretches like an empty and unwelcome expanse.

There is no sign of Hunter and I wade into the water with my surfboard. It does not make me worry too much; he had probably just decided to sleep in.

By the time I leave the beach, the morning is no longer young and clusters of people throng the once deserted area.

I look around one final time but there is no trace of crimson in the horizon.

There is no message awaiting me either and my calls go unanswered as well.

I truly begin to worry when I find the woods empty too: the first inkling of misgivings stirring within me.

I check the Academy but just as I had expected, he is nowhere to be found.

It does not take me too long to figure out what to do and I streak across the woods and the town to reach his apartment.

I don't even know what I fear or worry about as I knock on Hunter's door.

There is no reply and I knock again, a little louder.

My palms are sweaty and I have to shift my weight from one foot to another to keep my calm.

The door opens after a loud crash on the other side.

"Tori," he barely says my name before staggering back.

"Whoa." I am quick on my feet and hold him steady before anything can happen.

He comes to rest again a wall and shrugs off my assistance, "I'm fine, just a little dizzy."

That is when I notice it: empty glass bottles strewn across the apartment and broken shards on the floor, presumably from the crash I heard.

"You were drinking," I state, mostly to myself.

"I'm not drunk," he says immediately.

"You need to sit," I sigh, guiding him to the couch.

He does not protest and sits down with a groan.

"Have you been doing this all night?" I ask, trying to keep the accusation from my voice as I kneel in front of him.

Honestly, I am only trying to understand what might have transpired in these few hours that he felt the need to resort to alcohol.

"Almost, yes," he says.

"What happened?"

He sighs, "I couldn't sleep and I didn't want to turn up at your place again. Alcohol seemed-"

I know where this is going and so I cut him off, "We talked about this, Hunter. You don't have to do this alone-"

"No, dammit Tori," it's his turn to cut me off. "My issues are not yours to deal with. You don't have to live through my crap."

I feel anger bubbling within me with those words. "Really, Hunter?" I almost yell. "After everything, this is what you have to say?"

His eyes clear at that and he curses.

I shake my head to clear my thoughts. He is messed up right now and there's no point in getting worked up.

"Look, just take a shower," I tell him. "And once you have had something to eat, we'll figure this out."

"I... I'm fine," he says helplessly. "And I'm not wasted, if that's what you think."

"Yes, okay," I conciliate. "Just take a shower."

He stares at me for a moment, weighing a decision I'm not aware of.

"What are you thinking?" I whisper.

"Remember I told you about that time I want to run away from?" his voice breaks with every word and I find my hands wrapping around his. "I think it's catching up with me."