I'm so ridiculously happy to be making an update under a month. Says a lot about my procrastination skills.

Thank you so much to everyone who is reading this. I know long delays between updates can be annoying so thank you for sticking with me. Massive thanks to fallingstar22 and ems32 for all the reviews you have left behind. You don't know how happy you make me, no kidding. Also, thank you so much for favoriting/following this: Dreamseemer77 and Kiggy3.

And finally, thank you to bodysurfer27 for being the best beta I could ask for and constantly supporting me through this.

It's Tori again 'cause it had been alternating between Hunter and Tori for a long time and I figured a little break in the pattern would be nice.

This chapter made my shipper heart very happy, I hope it does the same for you. Enjoy!

Tori

But when you're not there I just crumble
I tell myself I don't care that much,
But I feel like I die 'til I feel your touch,
Only love, only love can hurt like this,
Only love can hurt like this.

- Only Love Can Hurt Like This,

Paloma Faith.

"Why would you say that?" I breathe out, my hands tightening their grip over his.

He lowers his gaze, his eyes darting across and refusing to meet mine. The calm blue eyes that seemingly cannot be perturbed appear to be lost in a past with too many ghosts.

"Hunter," I whisper, lifting his chin up to make him look at me. "What's catching up with you?"

"I can't... I can't explain it," he says helplessly, his voice breaking reminding me just how fragile he is right now.

I have known Hunter to be this fragile after waking up from his nightmares and it took me a long time to understand how much of trust he had invested in me to see him that exposed and naked. But that had always been in the darkness of the night when the world seemed bleaker than what it really was so this- whatever was happening now- was something that I had no idea how to deal with.

"You can try," I tell him, hoisting myself up on the sofa, letting go of his hands momentarily. I turn around to face him and let my fingers entwine with his.

He needs to know I'm here.

"I'm a monster, Tori," he whispers. "You wouldn't be able to look me in the eye if you-"

"Hunter Bradley," I cut him off firmly. "Don't you ever say that, you understand? There's nothing in this world that would make me look at you differently."

I feel a strange flutter in my stomach as I tell him so. This is probably the closest I have come to telling him what he already knows; what I already know.

I hope he isn't drunk enough to forget this.

I feel his gaze softening as the impact of my words hits him. He lets out a short laugh and leans in close and for a moment, I wonder if he is going to kiss me again because something tells me that has become our new normal: the new sleeping beside each other with our legs tangled. But he only presses his lips against my forehead, his actions still making my heart beat rapidly.

"I don't deserve you, Tor," he says softly, his breath ghosting over my skin as his thumb caresses my cheek.

I'm too tired for another one of these conversations where I will have to yell at Hunter to stop him from going down the road of self defeat. Besides if sober Hunter doesn't get my point, drunk Hunter definitely won't so I simply shuffle closer to him and rest my head against his shoulder and let myself bask in the contentedness of this tiny moment of intimacy and tell him to shut up.

It had started as little moments with Hunter and it was the little moments that I loved the most.

I remember how hesitant we had both been initially to seek comfort in each other because back then the cloud of Blake still hung close over our heads.

I know Blake still means the world to Hunter. Blake may have completely forgotten his brother in the mad frenzy of racing but Hunter hasn't. I know he still stays up at night to watch Blake's races and interviews although he never admits it. They lost contact a few months into Blake's stint with Factory Blue and I know just how badly it hurt Hunter: it was enough for him not to care about whether what we were doing was right or not. By then, I was too hurt to care either; Blake's empty promises had made sure of that. And we set out down an untravelled foreign road together, not knowing what obstacles would come our way but we had each other and that was enough. We anchored each other and I stopped worrying about what was right and what wasn't. All I knew was that Blake had broken both of us and Hunter didn't know how to fix himself and I didn't want to heal all by myself.

I was too tired of being lonely.

I understand why Blake and I didn't work out and I was never angry at him for choosing his career over me. Maybe I would have done the same, who knows?

But I had never thought I would have to see him stomp over his relationship with Hunter. It was something that I couldn't associate with the boy in navy who had looked like he had lost everything in the world when his brother had almost gone over the edge in that island of long forgotten times.

But I had also never thought that I would find happiness-

Love.

-with Hunter Bradley.

Once he is in the shower, I busy myself with making him breakfast and calling Cam and letting him know that the two of us would be late for our classes.

He sounds a little agitated but doesn't press for more information either. He hangs up with a pointed reminder to report for the afternoon classes and meet him at the end of the day.

I am in the middle of removing the shards from the floor when he emerges from his room: hair wet and sticking to his forehead and wearing a fresh t-shirt with jeans. He looks a lot better and I am thankful for that.

"Feeling less drunk?" I ask him.

"I was never drunk," he groans and then his eyes widen as he realizes what I'm doing. "You don't have to do that, Tor," he says, hurrying to my side. He tries to pry the bag into which I'm putting the shards from my hand.

"I made you breakfast," I swat away his hand dismissively. "You didn't have anything but cereal so nothing fancy. Just go eat it."

"I can do this," he protests indignantly.

"So can I," I tell him firmly, fixing him with a glare.

He looks at me with steely eyes and doesn't budge for a long time but finally gives up with a sigh.

"Good," I grin at him triumphantly. "And I called Cam and told him we'll be late. But I don't think you should be teaching today, Hunter."

He looks at me questioningly.

"You look like shit," I tell him with a shake of the head. "I'll just train your students or something. Cam doesn't have to know you need the day off."

Surprisingly, he doesn't argue this time.

"So what happened last night?" I ask him warily as he takes another spoon of the cereal into his mouth.

He glances at me from his seat across mine at his dining table and then mutters, "I couldn't sleep."

"Nightmare?"

"Something like that," he says, toying with the spoon in his hand.

"What does that mean?" I ask him. I feel a tinge of impatience at his evasive answers.

"It's... complicated," he tells me with another glance.

"Remember that conversation we had, Hunter? The one about me not being able to read your mind," I tell him sharply.

"Sorry," he mumbles. He pauses for a moment and then says, "There was this envelope that had been slid under my door when I returned home last night." He runs a hand through his hair and I see a slight tremble in his fingers. "There was a photograph inside."

I look at him expectantly, my mind instantly jogging back to his previous words-

"Remember I told you about that time I want to run away from? I think it's catching up with me."

- and I have a foreboding premonition that wherever this is going it will involve that scar he never talks about.

"Of who?" I ask softly.

"My father," he replies, looking away from me. And before I can ask anything else, he quickly adds, "Not my adoptive father."

I give him some more time and he continues, "Why would anyone do that, Tori? It's sick. That man was a bastard."

I reach out for his hand instinctively and he takes it into his immediately.

"Hunter?" I ask tentatively because I don't know if I'm even supposed to bring this up. "That scar on your arm-"

His eyes instantly connect with mine and I detect a faint flicker in them. He answers my question before I can ask it, "Yes, Tori. That has everything to do with him."

"You wanna talk about it?"

"I do, yes," he whispers staring at our linked hands. "Just not now. Is that okay?"

"Yes, of course," I tell him reassuringly.

"We have the morning off, right?"

I nod in reply.

"Can we go somewhere for a few hours?" he asks, hesitation hanging in his words. "I don't want to stay here right now," he confesses with a sigh.

I squeeze his hand and tell him, "You know what, I have the perfect place in mind."

"I thought you hated this place," he says as soon as the distant gurgle of my element reaches our ears.

"I used to love it, once upon a time actually," I tell him, quickening my pace to trek through the woods and reach the stream. "And then I started hating it because back when I loved it, my home was a shitty place but then Shane dragged me here a couple of days back when-" I come to a screeching stop as soon as that memory hits me. I had been a mess that day and all because of the man walking beside me and currently looking at me with raised eyebrows.

It still astounds me to realize how important a part Hunter has become of my life, how much I have come to depend on him and how much I love being with him.

"When what, Tor?" he finally asks, bringing me out of my trance.

"You know, when we weren't really talking and you-"

"Avoided you for four days," he completes for me.

"Yeah," I sigh. "I didn't mean to bring that up, sorry."

There's silence for a while until he says, "I'm sorry for what I put you through, Tor." His voice is soft but I can hear the genuine remorse in it.

"I know you didn't mean to do it," I offer.

"I didn't, of course not," he replies, certainty in his words.

"Well, both of us messed up so I think we can call it a draw."

"I was more of a jerk about it," he scoffs.

That makes me laugh. "I can't disagree, you know."

He lets out a little laugh too and I find myself smiling at that. "I didn't find you at the beach those few days. Where did you disappear to?"

"I started riding again," he replies.

I feel the smile disappear from my face as an uncalled for and unwanted memory of Tally surfaces in my head. I don't intend to say it but I blurt it anyway, the sick feeling of jealousy dripping from my words, "With Tally?"

I don't know why this woman I know nothing about bothers me so much. I have always known Hunter to sleep around and although I have been affected by that knowledge, it has never made me physically ache like this before. Maybe it hurts this bad because I know she isn't one of Hunter's one night stands and that they actually know each other.

That she could replace me.

Hunter stops in his tracks and brings me to a stop too, his hands holding my arms. I can't bring myself to look at him and try to avert his gaze.

"Tori," he begins and I instantly regret ever bringing her up. He had a damn envelope with his father's picture slipped into his home last night and here I was, being irrational and petty. "Tally and I-"

"You don't have to explain yourself, Hunter," I cut him off. "I didn't mean to say that. Besides we didn't come here to talk about-"

He presses a finger on my lips and shuts me up. I look at him with startled eyes but he continues, not paying me any attention, "I'm sorry if I ever made you feel like you're... ordinary and you're like everybody else in my life."

"I'm not one of your girls, Hunter."

The words play in my ears on repeat. I never should have said that.

"You're different, Tor," he continues and then adds, almost ruefully, "You are way better than I deserve."

I hate to see him put himself down and say things like that. And so I remove his fingers from my lips and clearing the distance between us, I press my lips firmly against his.

Our new normal.

"Don't say that again," I whisper against his lips as we pull back breathlessly.

He never agrees to it, only pecks me one more time on the lips before we continue our walk to the stream.

"My students can be a difficult lot," he tells me suddenly, breaking the comfortable silence that had descended upon us, allowing the sounds of the woods to reign.

"I think I can handle them," I tell him, lazily throwing pebbles into the water.

He hums in reply.

"Besides," I tell him with a teasing grin on my face. "I have enough experience in dealing with difficult Thunder Ninjas."

He chuckles, "Thanks to pain-in-the-ass-Hunter-Bradley."

"Yup," I smile at him and fondly ruffle his hair. "And what will you do while I teach?"

"What a ninja does best, Sensei Hanson," he whispers conspiratorially. "I'll hang around in the shadows."

"You could just do your paperwork," I roll my eyes.

"I like watching you more," he says simply, not even looking at me, and makes my heart flutter.

I think there's still a bit of alcohol in his system.

I groan in feigned annoyance despite the butterflies in my stomach, "You mean stalk me."

"Watch you," he repeats.

I snort and throw a pebble at him playfully.

"I was looking for both of you," Dustin intercepts us as soon as we enter the Academy.

"Why?" I question.

"Ranger Reunion tomorrow night," he explains. I have to roll my eyes at the name he has come up with for our get-togethers. "You both are coming, right?"

Hunter looks at me for confirmation and when I nod, he says, "Sure. What plans do we have?"

"None at the moment," Dustin scratches his head. "Just hang out, I guess."

"Sounds good," I tell him. "I'll be on my way now, boys. I have a difficult lot of Thunder Ninjas to handle." I eye Hunter and quirk him a smile which he returns with a lopsided grin.

"You are taking his classes?" Dustin shrieks, seemingly oblivious to our little exchange. "No fair, Tor."

"She loves me more, Waldo," Hunter says casually, giving Dustin a pat on his shoulder and I feel my face flush.

Could be the alcohol talking.

"Show's over, Hunter," I call out into the wind as soon as the students from the last class of the day disappear from sight.

There's the faint rustling of leaves which is always followed by Hunter streaking to a stop in front of me. Today is no different.

"My students like you more," he says, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Can you blame them?" I ask, a teasing smirk on my face.

He huffs but the smile on his face tells me he is only messing around.

We start our walk back to the Academy through the woods. Night is near and there is barely any sunlight filtering into the forest.

"Heading home?" he asks me.

"I have to meet Cam once," I tell him with a groan.

"Oh yes. Meeting at the end of the day."

"Yes," I cringe.

"I guess I'll see you tomorrow then," he says awkwardly after a pause.

I frown, "Where do you think you are going?"

"Uh. Home."

"Alone?"

"Yes," he drawls. "Why?"

"You are out of your mind if you think you are spending tonight alone," I tell him firmly.

"Tori-" he protests as soon as he realizes what I'm telling him.

"I can't have you drinking to your death, Hunter," I tell him sharply.

He stops walking to glare at me. I don't know why he still tries doing this with me; it never works.

"That's not going to work," I tell him with a wave of the hand and walk past him.

"You don't have to do this, Tori," he calls after me.

"Hell I don't," I mumble.

Maybe it is me but I feel a slight undercurrent of tension hanging in the air as we lie beside each other in his bed, staring vaguely at the ceiling. I don't know why it comes as a surprise though. I had always known things wouldn't be like before after everything that had happened between us.

Besides this was the first night we were spending together deliberately and intentionally after we had somehow transcended into kissing each other; the night Hunter turned up at my door doesn't count. It was almost an accident.

How screwed up are we?

"What are we doing, Tor?" he whispers, almost echoing my thoughts.

"I don't know," I sigh, taking a quick look at him.

"That sounds like something I would say," he whispers, pulling me closer to him.

I comply and bury my head into his neck. "You must be rubbing off on me," I mumble and press a soft kiss on his jaw.