Revery of Madness Chapter 22: II - More complications, a doctor who fanfic

A/N: Oof, that took a little while, didn't it? I'm sorry to say, but for a while I was a little out of plot for this segment of the story. But I now know how to tie everything together properly, so on we go! °v°9

Roka swallowed and looked the Doctor directly in the eyes. It still was so weird to see her as a woman after all this time. It had been roughly twenty years that Roka had spent in the TARDIS, living as a ghost in its shadows. She knew the leather jacket and the pin stripe suit, had watched several companions come and go. Roka had made him tea whenever something bad had happened, had sat there, listening until the glitch made her vanish from his memory again.

The Doctor was still the same. Just with a different look. Maybe a little moody this time around. How long might it have been for her? Between now and her bow-tie loving self? What had happened during that time? How often had they met? And what had she witnessed to plead Roka not to... die.

"I really hope you say that out of concern," Roka mumbled, "and not because that actually happened." There came no answer and it was impossible to tell what the Time Lady was thinking. "But then... if it did... and you're telling me this... it means it is not fixed and I can still change it, right?"

"Some things are fixed," the Doctor finally objected. "But not all the details."

Roka nodded. "It's good you're not telling the Master."

At that the Doctor cracked a small smile and both women laughed a little about it. They knew how badly the other Time Lord would react.

"So. On a lighter note, have you met him recently? I mean, in proper order?"

The Doctor shook her head, then nodded. "Well, yeah. Twice. Literally. But all went so fast and I... Well, I haven't seen he... him since the colony ship. But we both know him, ey? He'll make it."

"Yeah, out of pure stubbornness." Roka giggled, but also couldn't quite hide her concern.

Had he been alone? Did that mean they had separated? For good or temporary? Or had she truly... No. Roka refused to believe she would simply die. Not after everything she had been through. Speaking of stubbornness...

"I never thought I would say this." The Doctor's voice tore her out from the musings. "It's such an odd thing with the Master. He never cared much for anyone around him. But you... I don't even know if it is really love, or obsession already. But Roka... he really cares for you. I hope you know that."

She smiled warmly at the Time Lady. "Yeah. I know. So do I." It made her think about the drums again. The echo of his past that only returned because he had been too close to her the moment she had died. "Do you... know how to dispel an echo? Something that isn't there anymore, but still ripples through time here and then?"

"The drums," the Doctor whispered. "I know about it. But... That's something I can't interfere with. It's too big. And it's not for me to decide. Even telling you a little might change how you would decide. And that I can't do."

"But there is a way to make this stop, once and for all?" Roka asked hopefully.

"I can't tell. I'm sorry."

"It's okay." Roka sighed. "We'll deal with it somehow."

oOo~-̶̰͕͑̐ ̵̡͔̕~̷̴̱̤̖͍̆͋̈́̂̽͘.̴̯̦̹͛ ̶͍̎͌#̷̷̡̳̟̲͆̇̋̑-̸̧͙͂ ̶͕̜̆̐̿~̵̵̡̛̳͖̣͂̃̊̓̄.̷͇̺́̏ ̷̞̑͐#̶̴̢͈̦̰͌̃̐͠-̸̝́ ̵̛̱͉~̸̴̫̙̈̎̇̿̄.̵̧͙̻̓͛̓ ̵̦̠̈́̿#̵̷̳͎̯͓̩̞̀̑̉̑͑-̴̮̞̕ ̸̢̭̪̊~̷̵͔͇̞̙̬̈́̓͝.̶̶̰̘̯̝̏͐̿͛͘#̷̶̪̼̆́̎̾͋-̸̨́ ̴͙̹̪͆͊~̵̶̛͓͎͍̗̓̔͐.̷̀̎ͅ ̴̳̬͆͝#̵̶͉̻̭͈̗̩̓̑̂̈́-̷̢̛̙͆͐ ̶̙̐~̶̵̬͓͓̎̈̄.̶̹̪̆͝͝ͅ ̵̥̑̀̈́#̵̷̭͚̤͔͂̔̈́͜-̷̥̗̈ ̵̝̀͆͘~̶̸̺̣̓̿̈́͜.̴̜͗̅ ̴̿͜#̷̴̡͈͉̠̋̒̾ͅ-̵̡̯̤̒̕ ̸̺͋͂~̸̸̦̗͚̭̝̾͋̕.̸̢͖̻̅̇͝ ̴̨̬͗#̵̴̺͍̮͖̫̂̈́ͅ~oOo

"Kzzzz... zt... kzzztt... Hell-kzttt? I ca-zzzt- you!"

"River?" the Doctor called out.

"Oh fina-kzzzzzt! Get yo-zzzkt- bloody shi-zzzzt to land alread-kztzzzzt!"

"Okay, the connection isn't stable at all," the Master grumbled.

"Stop sulking. It's a start! Now, try again."

The Master activated their fragile construct once more, static crackled through the room, followed by a bunch of weird noises that seemed to have no origin.

"-zzzt- Master?" River's voice got through a little clearer this time. "Is that -kzk-ou?"

"Yep, in all my glory!" he answered with a smug grin. "Can you understand us?"

"Yeah, mos-zzzzt- of it. What -tzzzzk-appened? You two left and the TARD-zktzz- went o-zkzzzz- on her own!"

The Master furrowed his brows and let out a low growl, obviously displeased about the fact that River hadn't stolen his TARDIS after all. The -I told you so- look from Roka didn't make it any better. She nudged him with a smile, but got interrupted by the Doctor before she could say anything.

"River listen," she enquired, "there is a hexagonally shaped button next to the ceilion fuser and below the haldaron lever. Not the one opposite to the galvan inductor! You know which one? Just land the TARDIS."

"Th-zzzzz- what?" came the surprised reply. "I ha-kzzzt- no idea how to fl-zzzk- a bloody TAR-kzzzzt-! And who ar-zzzzt- you any-zzzk-ay?"

They all looked at each other, questioningly. It was no surprise River didn't recognize the Doctor in her current form, but the last times they had met, the time traveller had been perfectly capable of piloting the time ship.

"Well..." the Master started slowly, staring at the humming device. "That complicates everything."

"Do they get on?" Cassy asked curiously when Roka went down to grab a snack. "Guess Matt won't be doing his cooking magic anytime soon." A sigh followed.

The young woman was occupied by a book once again. Something from Carl Jung. Roka vaguely knew the name, but couldn't quite remember what he had been about. No, she did. Something about that everyone possessed a shadow within them and that one had to accept and integrate it into one's personality.

"Being good is a matter of knowing you possess the capability to be evil, but decide not to act on it," she mumbled.

Cassy looked up and quirked a brow, then looked down as Roka nodded towards the book.

"Can't say I know much about psychology," Roka admitted, "but that stuck with me somehow."

Maybe because it was impossible to forget when one lived a life as she did. Always on the border between good and evil, right and wrong. Knowing that none of those things truly existed and solely relied on context. But still...

"Oh!" Cassy made surprised and smiled. "Yeah, it's fascinating to think about it, isn't it? I mean... given the right circumstances every human being is capable of true evil."

Roka huffed and gave her an ironic smile. Every human... "Yeah."

There always was, of course, the question what actually could be considered as evil. She had seen cultures celebrating behaviours humans would downright despise and fear. And others... she tilted her head to the side, watching the corner of the room closely. That was weird. She could have sworn that shadow over there had just moved. Still did somehow, almost as if a figure would be standing there, not really visible, and also not really invisible...

"Hey..." the other girl started hesitantly, tearing Roka's attention away from the weird phenomena. "It's not my place to ask, I know. But..."

"Go ahead." Roka smiled reassuringly, curiosity winning over.

"Well..." Cassy hemmed and hawed. "You've been through stuff, haven't you? I... I won't ask details! It's just... uh... sorry. I shouldn't have..."

"It's okay." Roka smiled warmly. She cast another glance at the corner, but the shadow was gone. How weird. How could it be gone? What even had cast it in the first place? She shook her head slightly and remembered the other girl, realizing she hadn't answered. "Mhm... guess I have to appear quite strangely to... normal people." She shrugged. "Yes, I've seen... stuff. You wouldn't believe half of it and... doesn't matter anyway. You want to know something specific?"

"How old are you?" Cassy blurted out as if she had held in that question since they had met. "Y... your eyes, you know... it's... it..." She shrugged and snapped her mouth shut, but then quietly added, "They are old."

Was it that obvious? Roka thought back to when she had first met the Doctor and later the Master. How she had thought the exact same thing, had seen in their eyes that they were so much older than their faces looked like.

"Mhm... I..." How should she even put it? "I have a... condition," Roka tried. It wasn't wrong after all. "Makes me... well... look a lot younger than I am."

If it shocked the other woman it wasn't noticeable, although it must be a little disturbing to believe she had invited a girl about her age, just to learn that it wasn't true at all.

"And Matt? Does he have the same... condition?" she asked carefully.

Roka tilted her head a little. "Not quite. He's just... different." In so many ways she couldn't even begin somewhere.

"You are aliens!" Cassy suddenly blurted out and snapped both hands in front of her mouth afterwards, her eyes glued to Roka as if she feared she would be disintegrated any second. After a moment of silence she hesitantly put down the hands. "I read so many theories and all about the few encounters we had on earth already. I... I won't tell anyone, promise."

There was no helping it. The grin was on Roka's lips before she could hide it. "You're too smart for your own good." She giggled. "Oh, geeze, don't tell the other two about that theory. They'll go craaazy." She just couldn't stop giggling.

"Y... you really are?" Cassy squeaked.

"I'm human. One hundred percent," Roka assured, deliberately leaving out any information about the Time Lords. "Don't worry. No one here intends to harm you. We told the truth. We're simply stuck."

Cassy nodded, her eyes darting towards the door, though. It seemed as if she contemplated fleeing, but her next words surprised Roka.

"Are there... ghosts?"

"Whus?" Roka blinked perplex. "That's quite the change in subject." Still, her eyes darted back to the corner, searching it for the weird shadow from before. Had she imagined it?

"Not really... if there are aliens... there might be ghosts, too, right?"

"I just told you I'm..."

Cassy cracked a smile, one that was warm and a little teasing. "I might not be half as old as you lot are, but I'm not stupid. Maybe you are human... the other two... not a chance. So... how old?"

Roka sighed. Both, because she knew she wouldn't get out of this, and because the other girl jumped around topics like a bouncy ball.

"As you wish... Give or take a few rounds... something around two hundred earthen years." The whole time she spoke she didn't let Cassy out of her eyes, satisfied seeing her face drop at the number. "I don't age. And no, I'm not in the mood to tell you why. It's a long story, and complicated."

"Two... hundred... pheeeew." Cassy expelled a long breath and chuckled. "Damn. Can't even imagine what you've seen. When were you born, then?"

Right, she didn't know about time travel. Nothing to lose from telling. It wasn't as if anyone would believe some random student anyway. "Not too long ago, actually. End of the twentieth century." When Cassy gaped at her in disbelieve Roka couldn't help but grin even wider, her voice dropping to a conspiratorial tone. "Time travel. Time and space actually. Don't... tell them I told you."

"Wow," she breathed out and suddenly giggled. "Just wow! How is that even...? Well, it has to be possible in the future, then. And... oh my... I have to process that. Shiiiiiit! I can't even tell anyone! No one would believe it!"

"No. Better to keep quiet," Roka agreed smiling. She heard some shouting from upstairs and winced a little. When her gaze met Cassy's she sighed and rubbed the bridge of her nose. "Guess cooking will be on us, today."

A door got slammed shut and angry steps blustered down the steps. The Master poked his head into the kitchen, his features softening a little when he spotted Roka.

"You two alright?" she asked. "I thought it was working."

"It does.. somehow," he grumbled and trudged over. "But that bloody hum... woman has no idea how to fly the TARDIS. At all! And we all have no idea why both ships refuse to land. Or why they fled in the first place. The Doctor is going to take a look at a lead for some days." He let out a relieved sigh. "Good stars am I glad not to have to see her face for a while."

Roka smirked a little and slid her arms around him. "You could teach River how to pilot, couldn't you?"

The Master quirked a brow, clearly not excited about the idea. "Mhm... yeah. At least the basics. Might help."

"Doesn't sound as if you made much progress," Cassy mumbled, a little concern in her voice. "We decided to cook today. Any wishes?"

He shrugged. "Don't need to eat. Just make what you want."

"Wow, you really have to be pissed to skip a meal," she teased him and only earned herself a pouty face.

Hesitantly Roka let go of him, although she wanted nothing more but to snuggle up on him for a while. Gosh, she had gotten way to cuddly these past days! But it was hard to resist after all she had been through, and also because he allowed it. The Master leaned next to them on the counter and watched as Cassy got out some spaghetti.

"We could make some of those," she suggested. "We've got fresh tomatoes, a few veggies... I think there's also minced meat in the fridge."

Roka simply nodded and took out a knife from a kitchen drawer.

"Maybe... you should take off those gloves, though," the other woman suggested, nodding to the thin layer of cloth that, as usual, covered Roka's hands. "Why are you wearing those all the time, anyway? Nail biter?" She grinned knowingly.

Roka glanced down at her fingers and slowly pulled off one glove. As soon as it was missing, her swirling particles became visible. Sheepishly smiling she held them out for Cassy to see, and it was a weird thing to do. Usually she hated the mere sight of her glitch's remnant. She still did, but Cassy's curiously excited look tapered down her unease.

"Ohhh, whoa! Is that... because of your... condition? What is that even?"

"It's harmless nowadays," Roka told. "I... just don't like looking at it. Reminds me of bad times." She clenched her hands to fists.

From behind the Master took her hand and gently slid his fingertips over hers. When she leaned her head back, Roka saw the Master was watching Cassy intently. It also was her he spoke to next. "You know?"

"Kn... know what?" Cassy squeaked, suddenly and once again intimidated by him.

"She wouldn't show you, if it were different." The Master let go of Roka's fingers and wrapped both arms around her shoulders from behind. His double heartbeat thudded steadily against her back, soothing as ever. "Well... At least I don't have to pretend to be one of you little apes, anymore." He chuckled meanly.

Roka nudged her elbow backwards. "Come on, she was really nice to us. I know even you have some manners."

"I still won't cook for you, today," he teased and hugged her even tighter for a second, his hands finding hers again as he then turned Roka to face him, eyes wandering over the floating particles once more. He pressed a kiss to them and smiled promisingly at her. "With all the data I have of you, I might get you stable again."

Roka's eyes widened. "You think so?"

"Well, the density of your matter doesn't affect you negatively. But if this," he stroked her fingers, "bothers you so much, I'm sure there's something I can do."

"I'd like that, yeah."

He nodded, smiling, then cast another glance at Cassy. "You trust that one?"

"I do. So be nice."

A nasty grin split his lips, one that could scare away the weak heartened. "I'm not ripping her head off because of you. Isn't that enough?"

Roka pursed her lips teasingly. "I'm pretty sure you'll have to continue all the tinkering on the streets if you scare her too much. So..." She poked his chest, grabbed his tie and pulled his still smiling face closer. "Don't make us be stuck here longer than necessary!"

"I won't tell anyone about you," Cassy tossed in, meekly.

"Well, no one would believe you had the former prime minister living with you, anyway." The Master giggled and tossed the astonished human a roguish grin.

Roka glanced over and saw Cassy's eyes widen more and more as she studied the Master's face, recognition now seeping in, mixed with a tinge of fear. It probably was a blessing that the Doctor came rushing down the stairs in that moment.

"Will be back in two days!" she called out as she stormed into the kitchen. "There are signals all over the place, if I can separate them I might be able to learn where the interference originates from and... oh, hello!" she greeted as she noted Cassy. "Err... technical babbling. Nothing important." She turned to the other two. "Master, you need to stabilize the connection to River. She can probably come close enough for us to use some anchor. Well... by bye!" She wriggled her fingers at everyone and rushed out of the house.

Only silence stayed behind.

"Yeah, well..." The Master sighed, eyes closing as he dropped his head at Roka's. "Let's try that teaching thing. Can only go wrong, can't it?"

She chuckled and cradled his face in her hands. "You'll manage. You always do."

He smiled back and leaned closer to kiss her, slow and intensely, making her knees week in an instant. And then, as suddenly as he had started, he already left hers, smiling this god forsaken smile that he probably knew perfectly well made her head useless.

"Should continue with the important stuff," he teased and poked his tongue out slightly.

Roka slapped his arm and grinned back while he walked out. Seconds later she remembered Cassy and slowly turned her head in anticipation of shock of fear. But there was only a weird look in her almost sparkling eyes.

"Wh... what is it?" Roka asked perplex.

"You two are so adorable!" Cassy blurted out and snapped both hands in front of her mouth, however, barely stifling the giggle. "Gosh, how can one be so lucky!"

Roka raised a brow, now also laughing a little. This woman's attitude was just too contagious. "Dunno about being lucky. Having some evil alien be your boyfriend might not be the safest thing to have."

Cassy giggled even more and tore Roka right with her into a small giggling fit. It was just too good to have someone to laugh with in such a silly manner. Something felt warm in her, happy. Without the glitch, she suddenly realized, she would be able to have lots of those friendships. Even though they wouldn't last forever.

"But hey, Roka... Did the Doctor really just call him Master? Or did I mishear that?"

"No, you didn't." She wiped a tear from her eye. "It's his name. Or.. what he calls himself. Same as the Doctor."

"Wow... they sure have fun with their names, haven't they?" She giggled again. "Mhm... so, what's he master of, then? Does he own a planet or so? A galaxy?"

"More than one, actually." Roka pondered about all of his stories. She knew that at least some of them were true.

"Cool! Oh my god! You have a royal boyfriend!" she squeaked.

"Pfff... I don't think you can call it that. But say, Cassy..." Roka smiled impishly and started to chop some vegetables. "As we are having this subject. What's with you and Anna?"

Immediately the smile fell from her face and her cheeks started to glow bright pink. "I... eh... N... nothing! Really!"

"Och, come one. You were basically glowing when she said she's into women, too."

"Noooooooo!" Cassy hid her face behind her hands and mumbled, "She would never want me."

There she was such an outgoing girl, but when it came to this she seemed to have as much trouble as many people. Roka poked her shoulder and gave her smile. Maybe it was time to put into good use what she had learned from Amy.

"Come, let's make dinner. And then work out some plan to get her to fall head over heels for you."

"Roka! Don't!"

"Make dinner?" she teased.

Cassy sighed and grabbed another knife, waving it at Roka. "Don't you dare telling her!"

"Promise!" Roka swore with a stern face. "Now come, I'm getting hungry."

A/N: Remember when River told she learned flying a TARDIS from the best, and that the Doctor hadn't been there? Well... from whom else could she have learned it, with no Time Lords left? 😏

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