"Let's chat a bit." Alfred said once he stepped into the apartment.

The American made a beeline to the kitchen, setting down the bag he carried from the store and turning on the stove.

Ivan stayed dumbfounded in the entrance until embarrassment took over him. "You don't need to do that."

Alfred laughed, rummaging through the counters."Of course, I do. Let me be."

Ivan closed the door and decided to watch the American from the kitchen door. Knowing that he was just as unyielding if not much more than himself.

Setting a frying pan in the fire, Alfred asked. "So, why are you all disheveled?"

Ivan sighed, glancing at the window. The city was visible from there, full of bright lights and tall buildings. He remembered liking the view at the beginning, but now, it resembled a painting or a picture where he was out of the frame, it did not feel like a place where he actually spent his days.

He replied shortly. "I can't find Boris"

Alfred turned his head and raised an eyebrow. "Boris is your cat, right? I can't believe you used that name, it sounds so weird."

The Russian laughed. "And whose fault is that? I wanted to give him another name."

Alfred focused back on his task and muttered. "I did not rescue that cat for you to name him Vodka... or Boris"

Ivan scoffed back. "Boris was appropriate for that cat, he survived a fire, he is totally a Boris. I don't know, but I'm getting the feeling that he won't come back."

Without turning to look at him, Alfred replied. "Oh, that sucks man. When was the last time you saw it?"

This was the difference between Tolys and Alfred; while one was constantly worried and on edge, the other was laid-back and direct. The Russian mentally smacked himself, he shouldn't be doing such comparisons.

Ivan looked up, the last time he saw Boris was on Thursday. When he opened his door late at night and found out that Tolys had moved out. The fluffy cat had been playing around with a sock."Last night." He answered.

The smell coming from the kitchen was getting stronger, even though it looked like Alfred was frying something, the smell reminded Ivan how hungry he actually was. The Russian tried to peek at what the other was doing but the American kept on blocking his view.

Alfred hummed "Don't be so negative. Did you try putting some of his food outside?"

The Russian looked down at the untouched bowl of cat food. Feeling tiredness all over him again. "No, I don't think he'll come back"

"Why not?"

Ivan fixed his gaze on Alfred's back, he was taking a dish from the top counter. "I haven't paid much attention to him lately."

Alfred's reply was simple. "It's a cat, they don't need you around 24/7."

Ivan sighed, glancing at the door. "Well, no. I just guess he found someone better, someone who pays attention to him and loves him more."

Alfred's footsteps approached, his voice was closer too. "But you love your cat, don't you?"

"Well, yes but I don't blame him for leaving me."

Ivan looked at Alfred, he was placing two plates in the table. the Russian felt a smile creeping on his lips. He should've expected the homemade hamburgers, they were Alfred's signature food.

The american returned to the kitchen, taking two glasses and a big soda. "Well, you can only hope for him to return. Meanwhile, we are going to find a good picture of Boris and post it in some missing pets groups, we could also print some and place them around, if someone sees it, they'll call."

"That's a good idea."

The drink was poured and Alfred handed him a glass. "Here, eat."

Taking it, the Russian smiled softly, Ivan was glad not to be alone. "Thank you, Fredka".

"It's fine dude."

They ate in silence, except for the occasional questioning about flavor that Alfred asked.

Once finished, Ivan retrieved the plates to the kitchen, starting to wash them.

This time, Alfred was the one watching him, the American leaned on the doorframe.

"Ivan…"

"Yes?"

The American scratched the back of his head, Ivan thought the unsure expression Alfred wore didn't fit him."I was getting the idea, that you weren't talking about your cat back then."

Ivan placed the wet plates on the counter, reaching for a kitchen towel to dry them."I was."

Alfred's pushed."for real-"

The Russian focused on the plate he was holding, and repeated."I was."

The blue-eyed man rolled his eyes."Sure."

Ivan resumed his task and glanced down. "Alright, Tolys broke up with me, and left with someone else."

"Oh."

This was the problem with Alfred, while Tolys was good with words, Alfred was clueless.

Sighing, Ivan turned back to Alfred, giving him an apologetic look. "See? I didn't want to tell you because it's just something you can't fix."

Alfred followed him to the living room. "Well, I never said it had to be fixed. You just have to overcome it, eventually. How are you feeling?"

Ivan was weary of having this conversation but perhaps it was the time for him to speak up about it. He took a seat and fidgeted with the remote. "Horrible, all I could say to him was "I hope you are happy" like I wasn't even mad, I don't know what's wrong with me, but all I felt at that moment was apathy. The sadness only got to me when I came back and noticed he had packed his things and left."

"Well, it's not wrong, you just didn't process the situation, that's completely normal."

"Is it?"

"Yes, I see it all the time, with the people we rescue, some of them get into a state of shock, they can't move, talk or hear. Some stay paralyzed, looking at the flames while we have to carry them outside."

Alfred took the control from his hands, taking one into his and rubbing circles in his palm.

"At least you reacted the same day, some people take days, months or even years to face the situation."

Ivan relaxed his posture, Alfred's hands were warm, unlike his own. "But you are talking about emergencies, about fires, I am talking about something harmless."

Alfred's blue eyes focused on his, worry was coating Alfred's usually smiling face. "Vanya, if you are so affected by it, then it isn't harmless."

Ivan dismissed with his hand, the warmth that Alfred was giving him was lost with the movement. "But I am not affected, I just got vacations in the worst moment possible."

Alfred started to change the channels. "Perhaps it is for the better. You can take some time for yourself."

Ivan whined. "But I don't want it. Being alone makes me think about what Tolys said."

"And what did he say?"

The words were easy to remember, they were repeating in his mind like a broken record since the brunette had uttered them. "That I was not prepared to compromise, that I only cared about myself."

"Is it true?"

The question surprised him, he was expecting Alfred to reassure him, to deny, instead, he was questioning the veracity of those words.

He couldn't hide his confused tone. "What?"

"Those words, are they true?"

A wave of frustration passed over him, the Russian replied hesitantly. "I.. I don't know… I can't see those behaviors in myself."

Alfred sighed, placing a hand on the Russian's shoulder. "Well, I can't say much because we have been apart for so long, but sometimes you'd get absorbed in your work, perhaps that's what makes you look self-centered."

"Perhaps…" Ivan echoed.

"You should really give yourself a break, travel somewhere, have new experiences. It'll be good for you."

Ivan was relieved, Knowing Alfred will not let him indulge in self-pity but wouldn't attack him either made him feel safer. "Thanks, Alfred."

The American snorted. "It's funny, I wouldn't have pictured myself having this conversation when we were in high school."

Alfred was right, they couldn't stand seeing each other back then, they only grew closer by the end of the last school year. "Me neither."

The American embraced him tightly. "It's nice to have you as my friend, Ivan. I really appreciate you and if you need anything, you can always ask me, ok?"

Ivan returned the embrace. "Thanks, you can count on me too, Fredka."

Alfred jerked back and shook him a bit, talking excitedly. "Oh, I almost forgot, guess whose house almost catch fire two days ago?"

Ivan chuckled. "Was it Mr. Kirkland's again?"

Alfred rolled his eyes. "No, well yes but that's a current occurrence this one was new. Do you remember Yao?"

Ivan averted his gaze."I.. yes, I do."

Alfred took out his phone and started to scroll down in it. " His cousin was visiting, and the guy is a little enthusiastic with firecrackers, he almost burns the whole house."

Ivan didn't know what to say, but he didn't want to stay silent either, Alfred would get suspicious as always. "Oh"

The American looked up at him. "Hey, did you ever talk to him again?"

"What?"

Alfred tilted his head to the side. "You used to be so close. I supposed you would reach out to him after school"

Ivan shook his head quickly. "No, I didn't."

Alfred showed him his phone. "Perhaps you should, he looks just like he did when we were in high school. I told you, the guy must be a vampire or something, not a single wrinkle in all these years."

Alfred had taken a selfie with him, and the blonde was right, the Chinaman seemed not to age at all. He still had that serious expression in his face, those black locks of hair contained in the usual ponytail. He seemed to be displeased, maybe not happy to have the firefighters in his house.

Ivan chuckled. "It hasn't been that long Alfred."

The American glanced intently at the phone screen. "But still, he looks like he's twenty."

"Alfred, you do so too"

Alfred gave an undignified gasp. "Because I am still in my twenties, thank you very much. This confirms my suspicions."

"Alfred, he's not a vampire."

The conspiracy had been going around Alfred's head since he was a teenager, Ivan couldn't believe he still held into it.

Alfred shook his head, asserting. "No, he isn't, he might be an alien or a spy. Yes, I think the commies got him years before and this guy I saw it's just a replacement."

Ivan laughed lightly, Alfred had accused him of being a spy since he entered the school. It had become an internal joke after all these years. "Why would he be a spy?"

"I don't know dude, it's suspicious. One would think that you had something to do with it, Mr. Kuryakin."

They both laughed, Alfred took off his glasses and whipped away some tears. "But for real, I think you should talk to him."

Ivan frowned. "Why? we don't talk to each other anymore."

"Hey Ivan, did he do something to you?"

Here it was, Alfred's never-ending questioning."For the hundredth time Fredka, he didn't."

Alfred accused."Then why did you changed so much and stopped talking to him?"

The American's imagination was troubling when it came to this matter, Ivan couldn't convince him otherwise, not even after denying it for so long. He decided to give him a short reply. "Because I realized I spent too much time with him, and that wasn't very good."

Alfred shrugged, turning his attention back to the TV. "I admit, it was a bit strange, but I can't judge."

Ivan elbowed him lightly. "No you can't, Mr. I have a crush on Professor Kirkland."

Alfred seemed delighted, snickering his reply. "Hey, don't bother me with that, I got him to accept a dinner the last time he burnt his kitchen."

" Did you?"

Alfred beamed. "Yes, he was a douche about it, as he always is, but he begrudgingly accepted."

Ivan shook his head. "Fredka, you have a horrible taste in people. Why do you fix your attention in the bitter ones? You are so cheerful and bright."

"Says the one who dated me."

Now was Ivan's turn to gasp.

Alfred looked down and muttered. "You know, I kinda knew it wouldn't work out."

Ivan mirrored him. "Yes, me too." He chuckled. "We are idiots."

Alfred laid back on the couch. "Yeah, but don't take Tolys words to the heart. I admit, you are difficult to handle but you are not bad or undateable."

"Difficult?"

Alfred scratched his head. "Well, I never told you this, but you are so competitive, sometimes I would get super paranoid that you'd get bored of me."

"Alfred-"

The American interrupted."No, it wasn't your fault, it's just, you always work so hard and eventually get a promotion and I couldn't stop myself from feeling a bit jealous and also stuck."

Ivan knitted his eyebrows, glancing at Alfred's hands, they were always warm, yet, they've never been soft. He had worked since they were in the last high school year. "Alfred, you are the chief of the fire department."

Alfred nodded but spoke rapidly, fixing his gaze on the floor. "Yes but you are working in an embassy, speak four languages, that can be a bit too much for some of us. It's not bad because after all, it's you, but as a partner, sometimes I'd get the feeling that you were above me and that I wasn't enough. You also seemed distant, like I didn't need your constant validation so I didn't care too much about it, but perhaps Tolys did care about it, and that's why he said you had commitment issues."

That's was an unexpected insight. Ivan's words were coated with concern. "Alfred, why didn't you tell me any of this before?"

Alfred looked him in the eyes, clearly frustrated but also confident in his words. "Because it didn't seem like a big deal, and we were going through a rough patch back then, I didn't want to make it worse."

Ivan stared back for a while, unsure of what to say. "Alfred, I'm sorry-"

Alfred shook his head, his tone alarmed "No, don't apologize, those things weren't your fault, it was more of a self insecurity stuff."

Ivan hugged the American tightly. "Thank you, Alfred."

Alfred returned the embrace laughing. "You are too affectionate tonight, Vanya. Remember I have a date with Kirkland this week. Sorry, but the firefighter is taken."

Ivan paused, processing Alfred's words, then he burst out laughing.

He was glad to have Alfred around.