"Sir, can I tell you something?"
Ivan glanced at the cashier, he was a brunette with short hair, Ivan always wondered how the guy managed to stick out that strange curl of hair, looking at it reminded him of Alfred's attempts at taming his cowlick.
Ivan chuckled at the thought and nodded at the man.
He had a slight trace of an accent in his voice, Ivan couldn't figure the cause of it just yet, or perhaps he hadn't paid too much attention.
The small badge in the cashier's uniform gave out his name "Feliciano" alongside the badge was a tiny tag of a German flag. That sent Ivan a wave of frustration, the accent wasn't german, he was sure of it.
Feliciano was talking to him but Ivan couldn't focus on his words, he was busy trying not to get hit by the guy's hands. He had seen it before, when "Feliciano" was talking excitedly with other customers, he would usually move his hands widely as the speed of his speech increased, making it hard to understand his words. Which was exactly what was happening right now, Ivan had lost track of the guy's words and now he was talking about a recipe of pasta.
Ivan glanced around, looking for some help from Alfred.
The prospect of going grocery shopping this morning wasn't as dreadful as the night before thanks to the American.
Alfred's frame could be seen in the entrance, he was asking if he could put the missing cat paper in the front door. Ivan had advised him not to, seeing the place would get too much attention and he didn't want all of the neighborhood to have his number but the American did so anyways.
Ivan turned around only to meet the cashier's backhand with his cheek. Blinking rapidly he heard Feliciano's apologies, the poor guy was quivering in fear, the brunette glanced down before questioning. "Is it your pet, sir?"
Ivan sighed and nodded.
"Perhaps you could place some cat treats around your home, that may help... uhh Boris? To find the way back."
Ivan felt Alfred patting him in the back, snickering softly, the American smiled at the cashier. "That was a good way of snapping or should I say slapping? him back to reality."
Feliciano faltered starting a string of apologies.
Alfred laughed. "It's fine dude, I'm sure Ivan didn't mind, but the treats are such a good idea, thanks, man. I'll get them and you can keep with your good work."
Having Alfred around was a blessing, he could get out of awkward situations so easily.
Once they were out of the store Alfred burst out laughing. "I can't believe he slapped you."
"It was an accident," Ivan said softly, he looked down at the small bag of cat treats, the picture of a fluffy cat with his mouth open while a rain of fish snacks was falling, caught his attention.
Sighing he observed the American climbing back into the car, he looked excited, like a child that has been finally allowed to seat at the front.
Taking the driver seat, Ivan wondered if the american's excitement was directed to him, the car or the situation. Pushing away those thoughts, the Russian figured that Alfred was happy to visit his brother, he was driving him to Matthew's house after all.
Alfred gave him a light punch in the arm. "Are you ok? You are zoning out a lot."
"I'm sorry."
Alfred took out his phone, typing a message and smiling back at the Russian. "Do you want to visit Matt with me?"
Ivan paused, glancing at Alfred's bright smile and shook his head. "No, Alfred, thank you."
Alfred whined, typing out something on his phone again and pressed. "Are you sure?"
The Russian's eyes were fixed on the road. "Yes. You came on a family visit and I don't want to ruin that."
"You won't ruin it. You are family."
Ivan could see Matthew's house from where they were, the neighborhood was something the Russian would describe as "cute", some children were playing outside, an old lady walking his small dog, the facade of the house seemed like the perfect family house one would see in christmas movies. Ivan wondered how could Matthew pay for it all, Ivan was supposed to earn more than him.
Parking in front of the house, Ivan gave Alfred a small smile. "I don't think Matthew wants to see me, he is the one doing my work at the moment."
The American mocked him. His face showing a fake sense of dread and indignation. "Oh man, he must be going nuts."
Ivan chuckled at Alfred's exaggerated gestures. "Probably, tell him that he can pass some of it to me if he wants."
Alfred frowned. "No way, you are on vacation."
"But-"
The American exited the car, stating sternly. "No buts, you won't work on your vacations and that's final."
Ivan saw him greeting his brother in the entrance, Matthew waved at him and he returned the salute.
The way back seemed longer without Alfred's chatting. A red light made him stop once again and Ivan swore that he was taking too long to arrive home. Ivan reached the bag of cat treats and inspected it, boredom siping through his being, he should have bought something to eat, or perhaps he should have accepted Alfred's invitation, anything was better than waiting in a red light while reading the dietary contents of cat treats.
He opened the window, the day was sunny and a bit windy, he could hear the pedestrian's chit chat, a small kid with his mother was eating ice cream, he smiled at the sight, remembering when Katya would take a walk with him after school when he was younger, Ivan's smile faltered at the sound of an overly familiar laughter.
His head turning in the direction of the laughter, eyes searching for him out of habit. And there he was, crossing the street, walking hand by hand with someone he didn't know, laughing and smiling warmly, carrying groceries and talking with whomever that was.
It was a matter of seconds, three minutes at best but for Ivan it was an eternity, to watch him pass in front of him, the other guy was shorter than Tolys, blonde, and was carrying a… what was that? a purse? a satchel? no, it's too big for that, is that a cat carrier? was that Boris?
No, he must be confused, Bors was at home after Tolys left. Ivan shook his head and glanced up again, they were gone, well, not gone, they were on the other side of the street, walking further away.
They didn't notice him. Why would they? they seemed so happy, one would usually ignore things or people when being happy, right? one would see only the bright side and the joyful expressions of the other, right?
They were happy, Tolys was happy, that's what mattered. They were happy and Ivan was… he was fine, not happy but fine.
He resumed his way back Thinking about nothing and everything at the same time.
When he was finally inside of his apartment, a pulsing ache in his heart was oppressing him, and for the first time in years, he felt like letting himself cry. His body seemed to register the fact before he could think about it, his eyes watered and he started sobbing.
After a while, he calmed down, pondering between calling one of his sisters or Alfred, or just serving himself some vodka and going to sleep. He took out his phone, refusing to call right now, his voice would probably be shaky or he would end up crying again. He tried writing to Katya but refrained from it after some attempts, the situation seemed so stupid and yet, there he was feeling like a small hopeless child all over again.
Reaching the fridge seemed like an easier task.
Looking around the kitchen, he glanced at a sticky note placed in the fridge, its bright yellow looked strange in contrast with the dull colors of the kitchen.
Alfred's scrappy handwriting made Ivan smile again. "No vodka, unless it is to celebrate something." The note said.
Ivan took the note carefully, opened the fridge, looking at the full bottle with another sticky note "I'm serious" it read.
He stared for a second before noticing another sticky note, this time in a lunch container. "I know what you are thinking, Dumbass. Eat something."
Ivan chuckled, taking out the container and the notes. Feeling lighter, he opened the food container, to see some chicken nuggets.
The Russian glanced at the nearest window, the day was still sunny and bright.
He sighed, he'd be fine.