I am so excited to keep this series going! I hope you guys love it as much as I do- shall we continue! Also same note "" is Kendall, '' is Kendall's reflection, bold is both- enjoy!
You Cloud My Mind:
Break was over, kick and the others hoped Kendall would have at least let them in to talk to her or something, but she was still acting the same. They noticed the darkness of her house and blinds being closed on her window. And with it being Monday now, they wondered how long it would be for her to come back to them. School without Kendall was just too different. They wanted her back in their lives, but it would take a lot for her to come back to being the Kendall she once was.
(*)
I made it back to my usual place, I already have been playing some music. My mind though, was still racing with everything, I grabbed my ipod wanting to fix this, one song caught my eye. I wanted to play it.
"Now I will tell you what I've done for you
Fifty thousand tears I've cried
Screaming, deceiving, and bleeding for you
And you still won't hear me
Going under
Don't want your hand this time
I'll save myself
Maybe I'll wake up for once"
'Wake up for once'
"Not tormented daily, defeated by you
Just when I thought I reach the bottom
I…dive...again…I'm going under
Drowning in you, I'm falling forever
I've got to break through
Oh, I'm going under
Blurring and stirring the truth and the lies
So I don't know what's real and what's not
Always confusing the thoughts in my head
So I can't trust myself anymore
I… dive…again…I'm going under
Drowning in you, I'm falling forever
I've got to break through
Oh so go and scream
Scream at me
I'm so far away, I won't be broken again
I got to breathe
I can't keep going under
I played the guitar solo.
I…dive…again…I'm going under
Drowning in you, I'm falling forever
I've got to break through
Oh, I'm going under, going under
I'm going under
I was done and let out a breath. It felt good to play that. I went to my ipod to pick another song. I started playing once I found it.
"If I'm a bad person, you don't like me
Well I guess I'll make my own way
It's a circle, I mean cycle
I can't excite you anymore
Where's you're gavel? Your jury?
What's my offence this time?
You're not a judge but if you're gonna judge me
Then sentence me to another life"
'Don't wanna hear your sad songs,
Don't wanna feel your pain
When you swear it's my fault
Cause you know we're not the same'
"No!"
'We're not the same'
"No!"
'Oh, we're not the same
Yeah those friends who stick together'
"We wrote our names in blood"
'Well I guess you can't accept that'
"The change is good"
'No'
"It's good"
'No'
"It's good…"
'Well you treat me just like another stranger'
"Well it's nice to meet you sir
I guess I'll go
I best be on my way out"
'You treat me just like another stranger'
"It's nice to meet you sir
I guess I'll go
I best be on my way out"
'Ignorance is your new best friend'
"Ignorance is your new best friend
This is the best thing that could've happened
Any longer and I wouldn't have made it"
'It's not a war, no it's a rapture'
"I'm just a person but you can't take it"
'The same tricks that once fooled me
They won't get you anywhere'
"I'm not the same kid from your memory
Well now I can fend for myself"
'Don't wanna hear your sad songs,
Don't wanna feel your pain'
"When you swear it's my fault
Cause you know we're not the same"
'No!'
"We're not the same"
'No!'
"Oh, we're not the same"
'Yeah those friends who stick together'
"We wrote our names in blood"
'Well I guess you can't accept that'
"The change is good"
'No'
"It's good"
'No'
"It's good…"
'Well you treat me just like another stranger'
"Well it's nice to meet you sir
I guess I'll go
I best be on my way out"
'You treat me just like another stranger'
"It's nice to meet you sir
I guess I'll go
I best be on my way out"
'Ignorance is your new best friend'
"Ignorance is your new best friend"
'Ignorance is your new best friend'
"Ignorance is your new best friend"
I played the guitar solo.
'Well you treat me just like another stranger'
"Well it's nice to meet you sir
I guess I'll go
I best be on my way out"
Well you treat me just like another stranger
Well it's nice to meet you sir
I guess I'll go
I best be on my way out"
I finished the song. I glanced at my reflection knowing she was watching me.
"You know how to keep up well." I said.
"You play well and I like the songs." She replied. I let out a breath, going over to my ipod again. For now I just wanted to play the guitar and not sing.
I played for hours that night. It was interesting how music helped. I leaned against the mirror after putting the guitar away. I let out a breath. Somehow my phone which was in my jacket pocket fell out. I glanced at it. The thing was on low battery. In fact I'm surprised it lit up at all. I can't remember when I last charged it. I looked at it noticing all the missed calls and messages. There were so many and they all were from my friends…. My friends. I turned my phone off not wanting to waste more of its battery. I looked at the ceiling. 'How long has it been since I have seen them?' I asked myself in my head. 'Do they even care….'
"Of course they care! They are your friends! How else would they feel Kendall?" The voice interrupted my thoughts
"I don't know… it's strange… I just…I can't help but think about them for some reason…Brianna, Gunther…Jackie….especially…"
"Kick." She interrupted. "Though it seems he's really clouding up your mind now." I swallowed.
"What's it matter…I…I should just get back to my music." I replied.
"Oh please… if you're going to think about him then just do it, in fact maybe use that musical talent of yours to think of him." She would have probably been rolling her eyes if I was facing the mirror.
"Oh shut up." I think for the first time I could feel my heart race again and my face flush as she chuckled. A perfect Paramore song was ending that I just know noticed making me walk over to my ipod. 'That's what you get' I mused to myself of the irony. I swallowed again as I scrolled through my music knowing which song I wanted to play. I went to sit in the middle of the room, listening for the music on my doc.
"How can I decide what's right
When you're clouding up mind?
I can't win your losing fight all the time
Memories of when I was younger came to my mind, especially all the times involving him.
Not ever gonna own what's mine
When you're always taking sides
But you won't take away my pride
No not this time…. Not this time
How did we get here?
I used to know you so well
How did we get here?
Well I think I know
I got up, going towards the mirror.
The truth is hiding in your eyes
And is hanging on your tongue
Just boiling in my blood
But you think that I can't see
I turned around my back against the wall.
What kind of man that you are
Well I will figure this one out
On my own
My hand was on chest.
I'm screaming I love you so…"
'On my own'
"My thoughts you can't decode
How did we get here?
When I use to know you so well, yeah
How did we get here?
Well, I think I know…"
I slumped down, now facing the mirror.
'Do you see what we've done?'
"We're gonna make such fools of ourselves"
'Do you see what we've done?'
"We're gonna make such fools of ourselves, yeah…
I turned back around.
How did we get here?
I used to know you so well, yeah, yeah, yeah
How did we get here?
Well, I used to know you so well,
I think I know, I think I know
There is something, I see in you
It might kill me
I want it to true."
I let out a breath thinking of all the memories of Kick and me. I sat back leaning my head back. 'One more song' I thought to myself, 'then I'll head home.' I glanced at the piano. I went to my ipod again to choose another song, this time going to the piano after. I clicked the remote to start the song, before playing.
Under your spell again
I can't say no to you
Crave my heart and it's bleeding in your hand
I can't say no to you
Shouldn't let you torture me so sweetly
Now I can't let go of this dream
I can't breathe, but I feel…
Good enough, I feel good enough for you
My mind replayed several dreams I've had. I let out a shaky breath, as my heartrate quickened.
Drink up sweet decadence
I can't say no to you
And I completely lost myself and I don't mind
I can't say no to you
Shouldn't let you conquer me completely
Now I can't let go of this dream
Can't believe that I feel…
Good enough, I feel good enough
It's been such a long time but I feel good
And I'm still waiting for the rain to fall
Pour real life down on me
Cause I can't hold on to anything this good now
Am I good enough for you to love me too? Ahh
So take care what you ask of me
Cause I can't say no."
I finished playing feeling my heart beat so fast and even my breathing was heavy. I quickly went to go grab my ipod and head home, as I knew my face was flush and I had damn near lost track of everything because he came to my mind. I wanted to get home quick and think…and get him out of my head…if that was possible with the way things were going.
(*)
'It's funny I think she made a lot more progress today then I thought she ever could. Who knew 'he' be such a big help. I know she's still in there. Obvious since she's showing those old feelings. You'll come back Kendall, it's slow, but you can do it I know you can. I won't stop fighting until you do, even if I have to bring up a certain someone to get your heart fluttering. I know you're fighting to come back too though, so don't worry, I know you can do it! I will help you.' The voice watched when she packed and left in a hurry before vanishing.
To be continued…
Another chapter done! I'm so happy to be getting writing this story! I hope you guys enjoy and please R&R!
L: hey the people want more so keep to the writing and typing honey! You got chapters to do for a lot of your series, so get to it! Also nicely done on Kendall's emotions with Kick- it's almost a Kindall moment- almost
S: yeah, yeah, I'm moving, I'm moving…jeez and thanks, I try… well be getting moments like more in the future- no teasers…maybe- point is Kends ain't taken now so… teehee
L: YASSS! Anyway, songs used – Evanescence: Going Under and Good Enough, Paramore- Ignorance and Decode.
S: Thanks for reading!
L: See you guys in future updates!
Both: Bye!