Normally, Jiraiya would say that he hated these meetings. They were long, boring, and required him to be disgustingly respectful to a man he absolutely couldn't stand. However, in recent weeks, things had changed.

They managed to become even more unbearable.

But despite his strong desire to do literally anything else, Jiraiya was first and foremost a loyal Leaf shinobi. So he bucked up, dragged himself to the Hokage's office, and fought the urge to roll his eyes as Danzo asked him his new favorite question.

"Anything new to report on the Uchihas?"

Jiraiya could skin him. The fucking Uchihas were Danzo's new favorite discussion topic ever since Jiraiya initially reported his suspicion that the two might cross paths. Now, every time he set foot into the man's office Danzo would inevitably ask Jiraiya to update him on the brothers' whereabouts.

Jiraiya would admit that, at first, this had pleased him greatly. Since this was the closest he ever expected to get in terms of Danzo admitting he was wrong, Jiraiya couldn't help but be a bit smug and relish giving his first few reports on the brothers.

Then Danzo got obsessive.

The reports went from biweekly occurrences to Jiraiya being summoned every few days to give updates on the boys. No longer satisfied by general news, Danzo required Jiraiya to debrief him on every detail regarding the boys' travels, regardless of how insignificant those details might be. He'd once even thrown a shit fit because Jiraiya couldn't definitively say whether Itachi Uchiha had eaten breakfast one morning.

At that point, Jiraiya started getting a bit annoyed.

And as the weeks passed, he started getting very annoyed.

And now he was thoroughly beyond annoyed and found himself weighing the merits of punching Danzo in his stupid fucking face.

Jiraiya sighed.

Maybe one day.

But today, he took a breath, straightened his posture, and gave Danzo his damn report.

"Nothing of immediate interest, Lord Third. Itachi Uchiha is still traveling eastward through the Land of Lightning. His group still begins moving at sunrise and halts two times a day, once in the afternoon and once at sundown to make camp for the night. He still sends out four groups of five people in the cardinal directions to hunt and gather food for the caravan as they walk, and his food reserves have almost been completely replenished. He still remains at the front of the group while they travel and positions the stronger members on the outside of the pack so that they surround the weaker members. He still sends out scouts intermittently, but typically only before he has the group stop moving. He has only added two more bodies, one male and one female, to his group since my last report. The girl goes by the name Ami and the male goes by the name Ryuji. I've been told by my sources that the new individuals are not shinobi and pose no serious threat, but I am still working on verifying their identities to ensure that is true." Danzo tapped his fingers against his cane and nodded.

"And the younger brother?"

Shit. Jiraiya hated this part.

He rolled his shoulders back and braced himself for the coming reprimand.

"Sasuke Uchiha's whereabouts are still unknown."

Jiraiya watched as Danzo's jaw tightened.

"And why are his whereabouts still unknown?"

"Well, Lord Third, the boy has spent the past two years with Orochimaru. He likely learned a bit about keeping a low profile from him." Danzo leveled a flat stare at him.

"So you're telling me a fifteen year old child is skilled enough to evade the Leaf Village's top intelligence agent?" Jiraiya felt his eye twitch.

"I'm telling you that Sasuke Uchiha has yet to encounter any of my sources, yes. One thought they saw him traveling west out of the Sound Village two months ago, but the report remains unconfirmed and there have been no further sightings to verify it. If Sasuke Uchiha was heading east towards his brother, however, he certainly would have come across him within the past two weeks. Which leads me to think that he must have actually been traveling west, like the report said."

Danzo rapped his cane hard against the floor.

"But you still don't know where he is now, which is the entire problem. And what, may I ask, have you been doing to remedy that?" he demanded through gritted teeth. "I've gotten the same report from you for two months. I could forgive you waiting around to see if the boy would eventually turn up for the first few weeks, but at this point, I'm finding myself questioning your investigative abilities."

Jiraiya took a deep breath and started a short mantra in his head. Killing the Hokage would not be productive, killing the Hokage would not be productive, killing the Hokage would not be productive...

He gave Danzo a nonchalant grin. "You are certainly entitled to think that, Lord Third," he ground out. "However, you won't find anyone else with a larger intelligence network than me. I assure you, I am doing everything within my capabilities to find the boy." Danzo grimaced.

"I want him found before he meets with his brother, is that understood?" Jiraiya gave Danzo a sagely nod.

"Of course, Lord Third. I will continue to work on locating Sasuke Uchiha." Danzo continued to stare at Jiraiya with disdain. But then his lips quirked up into a smile.

"Question, Jiraiya: have you yourself gone out to locate the boy?" Jiraiya looked at Danzo warily.

"No, Lord Third, I haven't." Danzo nodded as Jiraiya spoke, cleary already expecting the answer.

"Let's try that, then. You'll set out tomorrow to find Sasuke Uchiha." Jiraiya felt ice flood his veins.

If he left the village, then Naruto would be defenseless against Danzo.

Fuck.

Danzo seemed to take his silence as confirmation and waved his hand at him.

"It's settled, then. If there's nothing else you'd like to report, you are dismissed."

Jiraiya bowed his head and turned to leave, feeling numb. He now had a new mantra going through his head.

Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck...

• • •

Jiraiya knew there were a multitude of ways he could have gotten into the apartment. He had a spare key to it in his own house, so he could've unlocked the door. He also knew the kid left his window open, so he also very easily could have jumped up to the roof and come in that way. Hell, he even could have just knocked.

But there was something so satisfying about seeing Naruto nearly jump out of his skin as he kicked in his apartment door. And this time, he'd even dropped his ramen.

"Get ready kid, we're going traveling!" Naruto stared at him with his mouth hanging open.

"What the hell, Pervy Sage?!" Jiraiya had to stop himself from covering his ears. Fuck, the kid was loud.

Naruto started gesturing wildly, first to his ramen lying on the floor and then to his broken front door. "You made me drop my ramen and you broke down my door again! What the hell is wrong with you?!"

Jiraiya gave the kid a shit-eating grin.

"How fast can you be packed and ready to leave?" Naruto was kneeling on the ground grumbling, trying to scoop the ramen back into the container.

"Leave where? I have a mission in a few days." Jiraiya shook his head.

"Not anymore. I personally had you taken off it so that you could come with me!" Naruto looked up at him.

"Where are we going?" Jiraiya frowned at the boy.

"You could try and at least sound a little more enthusiastic. I have some things to go take care of outside the Land of Fire, and I figured I could also use the time to train you a bit more. But if you don't want to come," Jiraiya shrugged, feigning indifference, and walked towards the door.

"W-wait, I'll come!" Jiraiya smirked. The kid was too easy.

"Perfect!" He turned back around. "We're leaving tomorrow, so pack your bags and I'll see you at the village gates right before sunrise!" Jiraiya motioned toward Naruto's broken door. "I'll also get someone here to fix that." As Naruto opened his mouth to argue, Jiraiya gave the boy a cheeky wave and disappeared.

Reappearing on the roof of the apartment building across the street, he listened to the boy belatedly curse him out. He smiled as he settled down and kicked his legs up, scanning the area for any repressed chakra signatures.

He was getting this kid the fuck out of here if it killed him.

• • •

Jiraiya had considered asking Danzo permission, even though he knew the request was a long shot. After all, he saw firsthand how closely Danzo was keeping an eye on Naruto. And while he did let the boy occasionally leave the village for missions (probably because it was too suspicious to not let him), they were close to Konoha and involved little risk. Jiraiya also knew that Danzo always had one of his Root members tail Naruto in case something went wrong, so he wasn't optimistic about Danzo letting him single-handedly drag Naruto across multiple countries while he hunted for a man considered a threat to the village.

That's why Jiraiya had decided to just...not ask.

He figured he'd be able to get away with it. Officially, he had no idea that Danzo was watching the boy and wanted him to stay within the village walls, so he could easily feign ignorance about the matter. Additionally, there was already a precedent for Jiraiya taking Naruto on his travels, so it wasn't unreasonable for Jiraiya to assume he could also take him on this one. And, since Naruto wasn't meant to know he was being watched, Jiraiya couldn't imagine Danzo would risk alerting the boy by sending someone to retrieve him after they'd already left the village.

It wasn't foolproof, Jiraiya knew, and there would be plenty of consequences to deal with when he got back, but he thought it was better than acquiescing and leaving Naruto in the village to fend for himself.

Now he just needed the little shit to hurry the fuck up so he wouldn't get caught before they even had a chance to leave.

Jiraiya stifled a groan as he inconspicuously followed Naruto through the village. He wanted nothing more than to scream at the boy, tell him to pick up the pace before Danzo's men realized he was leaving and somehow tried to stop him.

Fuck, he wished he would've just taken Naruto and left last night. He'd thought that would look too suspicious, though, and had figured that as long as he cleared the area and made sure Naruto wasn't being followed, they could get out of the village before the guards showed up at the gates in the morning and be home free. Hence why he didn't want to rush the boy, because that in and of itself looked suspicious as shit.

But as he watched Naruto bend down to pet a cat for the second time, all he could think about was how pissed he was going to be if Danzo caught them because he waited too long to leave.

Jiraiya was nearly vibrating with energy when the village gates finally came into view. He watched as Naruto meandered his way up to them and nearly sagged in relief. He could barely believe it; this was going to work. They were actually going to get out of the village.

Then he caught sight of the shadowed figure hiding near the gates.

Fucking hell.

He was going to be pissed.