A/N: This is the original second chapter. The third and fourth chapters tells my AU version of what happened during and after the ending of "Ultimate Power: Part 2". At first, I was going to switch around the second and third chapters so that the story would alternate between Kevin's story and the AU events, but now I'm starting to wonder if maybe I should make the AU events into a separate story. Neither storyline would change if they were made separate, but one of them might end up remaining incomplete, whereas if I keep the two together, the entire thing might never be completed.

The two storylines are separate, but the premise of Kevin's energy absorption being similar to drug use is the main focus of both of them. The AU storyline follows what I think should have really happened after Kevin was drained of all that energy. I mean, seriously, he goes insane, ends up hurting people he loves, then all of a sudden he's back to normal with no withdrawal symptoms or lingering psychological issues? Nope.

No matter what I decide on, I will do my best to finish it. I think I'll try a single story, because chapter 1 explains what Kevin goes through when he's drained of energy so well.

I just want to thank RenkonNairu for your lovely comment. 'Character study' isn't quite what I was going for, but I'll take it to mean that I managed to explore a side of Kevin that is rarely (if ever) shown in cannon while still somehow managing to keep him in-character. Thank yooouu~ X3

Warnings: Self-harming and mentions of drug use and suicide. Includes a few swear words, because Kevin is a potty-mouth.

Disclaimer: I do not own Ben 10: anything. Please don't sue me, I have no money.

EDITED: 2/26/15: Removed repeated and unneeded words and added a few.

Addiction

Chapter Two

All throughout his 'tale of woe', Kevin remained seated, hunched forward with a grimace on his face, almost as though the story was physically hurting him.

"Slowly, the power changes the way you think, changes who you are. You remember that guy you…"

His eyes shut for a moment, before he takes a deep breath and continues.

"… and you don't remember someone who saw a beat-up kid sleeping in a doorway and probably woke him up to ask about his parents, or if he was alright. You remember some guy who dared to tap you on the shoulder, who was probably gonna mess with you. You don't feel sick that you…"

He pauses again.

"You feel… pleased that he'll never mess with you- or anyone else- ever again."

Ben realizes now that the guy Kevin mentioned earlier, the first one he accidentally used his powers on- he didn't just hurt him, he killed him. And based on how the story was going so far, and how old Kevin was when Ben first met him… Kevin was likely no more than nine or ten years old when this all happened.

To have killed someone at ten years old… Ben shudders. He was ten himself when he found the Omnitrix. If he had been any more careless with his powers, he likely could have found a fate similar to Kevin's.

"And pretty soon, you're doing it again, hunting down everyone who's ever wronged you and…"

He falls silent a few moments, hanging his head. His raven hair obscures his face, making it difficult to gauge his emotions.

"But you still aren't a bad person." The osmosian's voice takes on a pleading tone: "You reason that if those guys didn't think twice about hurting some little kid, what else would they be capable of? You tell yourself that the world is better off without them.

"Then, soon, everyone's fair game. Nobody's innocent, 'cause the Earth itself would hurt you if it had the chance. You don't care who you hurt. You're fucking GOD, and everyone else is beneath you! The normal people you pass on the street, the ones with good lives who see your ragged clothes and sneer, you shout at them in your head that it's only through your MERCY that they're still breathing!"

Kevin is practically shouting at this point, and his fists are clenched tight at his sides. Ben can't say anything even if he wants to. Kevin's… issues were a hell of a lot worse than he could have imagined. After a few moments, Kevin calms, and he continues in a softer tone:

"But you never actually hurt them. You rage in their head about how you could kill them all without breaking a sweat, that you should, but you never actually do anything.

"Until you meet this kid. At first, you only bother with him 'cause he's funny and you're bored. You show him a trick, but get careless and end up discharging the rest of your energy into the air as static. You still didn't have a lot of control over it. You're empty now, powerless, and the panic's back, but you manage to keep it from showing 'cause everyone's always looking for a chance to hurt you."

Ben has a sneaking suspicion.

"Then that gang of wanna-bes shows up and proves that everyone is out to get you. You try to play it cool, try to keep your face from showing the fear like you've been practicing, but it's threatening to take over. You think you're done for, and then this black-and-blue thing shows up outta nowhere and beats the crap outta them."

Suspicion confirmed.

"The kid says he's a friend of the speed dino, and you figure that if you hang out with him, the thing might show up again. You may be pretty insane, but you're still 11, so dinosaurs are cool."

"You thought XLR8 was a dinosaur?"

Kevin starts, remembering that Ben was sitting right next to him, listening to him explain just how messed up he was back then. Before Ben's comment brought him back to reality, he was just mindlessly recounting what happened, not really feeling anything about what he was saying. 'Emotional detachment,' Gwen would call it. A defense mechanism. It was like he was in some sort of trance.

Well, he wasn't now. He glares at the reason for that, who puts his arms up in surrender. After a moment, Kevin turns forward and tries to start again. Now, without a barrier keeping 'you' and himself separate, it was going to be difficult to get the words out.

He continues anyway.

"We…"

No, no, no! You are not talking about your screwed-up childhood, Kevin thinks to himself. You're just… telling a story. Yeah.

Barrier restored, he goes on.

"You hung out for a bit. Against your better judgment, you started kinda liking the kid. He was a little like you: a self-proclaimed 'tough guy' who didn't need anybody, took shit from no-one, and said what was on his mind without a care for what other people might think. He was like… a loner who couldn't get alone, and… I guess I felt for him."

Another slip, and the barrier shatters again. Kevin leans forward, laying his arms on his knees and starts fiddling with his hands. The 'story' was taking more out of him than he thought it would. A couple silent moments pass, and he steels himself to try again.

"You took him back to your place, but didn't stay long 'cause now you had a partner in crime. Two, if you counted the kid."

It takes a couple seconds for Ben to realize the insult, and he pouts.

"You got to the warehouse, got your hands on the prize, and then the cops showed up. It was a hell of a lot more than you were expecting, and you weren't at full power. They had helicopters. Freakin' helicopters! 'Oh no, the warehouse storing nothing more valuable or dangerous than violent video games has been broken into, let's get a fucking SWAT team to throw goddamn GAS CANS into the building!' Fucking lunatics."

Ben wants to point out that Kevin was probably a lot more insane than any of those people, but manages to hold himself back.

"You didn't want to scare the kid off, so instead of frying the fuzz, you just ran over them a little. Took a lot more energy to start up the forklift than if you'd just taken them out directly. Then, you're trapped, out of energy, and there's no way out, and just as you started wondering if finding a dead kid would distract them long enough for you to get away, the kid turned into some kind of giant bug!"

Ben almost shivers. That situation had already been pretty scary for him. He's glad he didn't know Kevin was thinking about killing him, or he might've wet himself.

"He got you both outta there, and the entire chase you were patting yourself on the back 'cause it turned out you made friends with someone almost as powerful as you. But as the minutes passed, your memory changed. Then your memory said that you made nice with him on purpose, 'cause you somehow knew he was powerful.

"Then the kid said something that really caught your attention: 'special energy.' You wanted that watch. When he said no, you were furious. You thought about stunning him with a blast to the head, then ripping his arm off to get the thing."

So. Ben almost died AND gotten his arm ripped off. Nice.

"But, again, you didn't have enough power for that. You still had to recharge after that forklift stunt. Once you did, you thought about wasting the kid, but… You had a plan, and you needed the speed dino to make it work.

"But the kid said no. Again. It was… baffling. I mean, you shook, you were partners! You felt betrayed. Suddenly, it was clear- this kid never wanted to be your friend! He made nice just so he could use you. Never mind that that's exactly what you thought you did with him…

"Now you really wanted to kill him."

Welp, that's it.

I apologize for any changes in tense in the story. I tried to keep it in present tense, 'cause that's how I started, but it's a lot harder than I thought it would be. I am not sorry about Kevin's speech changing from present to past tense because I can use the excuse of 'he just started talking that way.' However, I want him to stay in past tense, so if you notice any problems…

The next chapter will be up in anywhere from one to three days. If I decide to keep the two storylines in one story, expect it tomorrow. If not, it might take a while.