That's A Real Life Bronze Age Priestess Sammy
Chapter 14
Dean could barely register Muwatti's question, because his entire system had gone in shock. And then the singing started. How many times more will he have to witness their lives as a form of entertainment media? More importantly, why, just why in the name of everything that is holy, are they singing? He heard his brother say that this might have something to do with their case. Way to go Sammy, making real good use of that college education now, aren't you?
"How come there is a play with singing children about the two of you?" Muwatti asked in an extremely amused tone.
He saw Sam make the face he usually makes whenever he gets a headache, and pinch the bridge of his nose, and answered her, "A prophet of god wrote multiple books about our lives as hunters," he had to pause, as she sniggered, before covering her mouth and letting him continue, "and it's called Supernatural. And I think, this play is based on those books." And with that whatever little self-control she had, was gone completely and she bursted out laugh. Glad to see she was enjoying herself.
A girl, who had been giving orders to everyone on stage, ran up the stairs towards them. She introduced herself as the director and writer of this monstrosity. Sam introduced themselves as special agents, when Dean pointed towards the stage that there is no singing in Supernatural.
"I have to disagree with you Agent Smith. Dean loves to sing." Interrupted Muwatti, in a perfect American accent. Since when has she been able to do that? Sam was also surprised to hear that. This day is just filled with all manners of surprises for them now, isn't it? "Practically does it all the time. While cleaning his weapons, while driving Baby, while making food, and even while eating the food. He's clearly a man who was born to sing." The overly enthusiastic director, called Marie, sounded really pleased hearing that and totally agreed with her. How dare she? And asked Muwatti if she has read the books as well. "Unfortunately no," replied the ancient princess, still in the flawless American accent, "Let's just say I've very recently stumbled upon the brothers, but still not sure if they're for me yet. However after seeing this performance I would love nothing more than to get my hands on the books. Seems to be the perfect way to get answers for my several questions."
Sam tried to steer the conversation back to the case and the Chandler woman, who apparently had a questionable relationship with alcohol. And who can blame the poor woman. Dean would love some alcohol right now himself, and by some he means a whole fucking lot. Preferably for his eyes. However the other girl, Maeve, clearly didn't appreciate him voicing his distaste for Marie's interpretation out loud. They decided go with the girls and look around the school for clues. Fine by him. The sooner they finish with this place, the quicker they can leave this broadway mess that has become his life. Apologies, Marie's interpretation of his worst nightmare. As the girls walked away from the three of them, Muwatti asked, in her regular Hittite accent, once again, what happens now. Which reminded him, "How are you able to do that accent?"
"I learned to speak your languages by basically overhearing a bunch of people with a lot of PhDs., some even in linguistics. So yes, after a hundred years, I was able to pick up accents. I can also do a British one." She stated proudly in her normal accent. "I just thought my regular way of speaking would draw too much attention."
Tallying up what things she knows about or didn't know anything at all, was turning out to an entertaining game for him. Most of the stuff that she's familiar with, had to do with history, because big surprise to no one, historians while surrounded by historical artefacts, liked to talk about history. A lot. However sometimes she asks about completely random things that she remembers overhearing some scholar mention long time ago, and then has several questions for him and Sam about it. Like the time when she simply just had to know everything there was about highlighters. Yellow ones are her favourite.
Her talent for shifting accents certainly seemed to impress his brother. Typical nerdy Sammy, the woman claims she used to have regular lesbian orgies, but her historical knowledge and mastery over languages and accents is what ends up actually intriguing the guy. Nerd. Sam's disastrous movie night related decisions aside, the two of them seemed to be getting along now. He still felt guilty and ashamed over what he did to her, which is the only reason he hadn't bombarded the poor woman with questions about the past and her people. There's only one thing worse than a nerd folks, and that's a history nerd.
Sam was going to look for EMF, trailing Maeve, while he was going to check for cursed objects with Marie. Now what to do with Muwatti. However he need not have bothered at all, since she started moving towards the stage. When he asked her where she was going, she replied, after switching her accent once again, "What we came here to do, agents. Conducting an investigation and asking around questions, of course. Starting with baby Sammy and big brother Dean." She pointed towards the girls dressed like them, standing at the centre of the stage. "I have very specific questions for them, agents."
The only reason he didn't physically stop her, was because Sam reminded him to not cause a scene. Even though he, too, was panicking, over what she was going to ask those girls. How can a woman go from being so sweet to being completely evil? Then he remembered, she used to be a politician.
Muwatti was learning so many new things since leaving the tablet almost two months ago. The Earth, which is round, is the third planet from the sun, and lacking any understanding of elementary physics, that's all she was capable of grasping, for now. Hunters aren't nearly as violent as was she excepting them to be. Most of it had to do with lying, wearing different costumes, asking questions, tracking people, and researching. The actual hunting part, where they fought things, was the very last stage of the whole process.
However the most important thing, the most tantalising thing that she has learned, is that there are books about the brothers. And she wants them. It could be said that she couldn't possibly want anything more in her whole life, but she'll always want gold more, no matter what. She used to have so much of it, and now she's bloody destitute. The pain of realising that she literally has nothing, was only slightly more than the pain currently in her head, which she really wished would stop. Having that headache was never a good thing for her. She would've voiced her concerns to the Winchesters, but the pain was still manageable, which meant it was still safe. They would've just left her at the motel if she had said anything. And she can't go from being locked up in the tablet to being locked up in tiny motel rooms.
The brothers had decided to split up to look around for clues about the case. Initially she thought that she could just go with Dean, however upon hearing the words cursed objects, she decided otherwise. After her past experience with curses involving missing women, she's definitely not touching anything and will be keeping her arms to herself.
"Really? Sam is Marie's favourite Winchester?" She couldn't hide the surprise in her voice. After joining the girls, Siobhan and Maggie, the stage counterparts for Sam and Dean respectively, she asked them how did the play come into being. Which is how she found out that the judgemental giant was the young writer's favourite Winchester. But then again he does have magical dimples. Right then, the lights around them started to flicker. The girls looked up front, so did Muwatti, copying them, and saw Sam in the window, high above them. Judging by his embarrassed expression and their amused ones, he clearly had been responsible for the mishap with the lights.
After turning back, Maggie continued their previous conversation, "She kinda does like both of them." She said while pointing towards the clothes both of them were wearing. "But yeah, she's totally partial towards Sam. He's the sweet and sensitive one you see." Between the whole breaking into her mind and that movie, no, she does not see it. "Which is why Sam has this really important solo."
However Siobhan seemed to disagree with this assessment. "Only technically. Since even in that song, all Sam does is praise Dean. It's called 'Single Man Tear'." Obviously she has to listen to this song. "In the earlier books, he had some sort of plot but now he is a one dimensional character who's only job is to obsess about his big brother. All he does is totally react to whatever is happening to Dean. And make the iconic bitch face, of course."
Whats's the importance of saying the word 'totally'? All of the girls really enjoy saying it in every other sentence. And what the fuck is a 'bitch face'?
Maggie huffed in frustration as well, and ended up conceding with her friend. "You're right. But come on, Dean is not better. In fact, I'd say he's like worse than Sam."
For the mercy of Ḫannaḫanna, child please, elaborate. Thankfully Muwatti's wish was granted.
"All of his character is about protecting Sam, saving Sam, fighting for Sam. Sam, Sam, Sam, Marcia, Marcia, Marcia." Do the Winchesters know someone named Marcia? "I mean, I get why he is like that. Not only did he lose his mother at a very young age and got to know that monsters exist, but also take care of his baby brother, practically raising him, all because John was too busy to look after his own little children, because he had to go and steal a bunch of silver to make into bullets. After going through all that, there's no way anyone won't be so fuc-" Maggie stopped herself, when she remembered that she was talking to an adult after all. "so burdened."
In the course of preparing for their roles, all of the cast members were made to read the books, following Marie's instructions. As she wanted to capture the authenticity of the B.M. scene. Which is a clever name for what the boys regularly like to do, where they stop in the middle of their very important journey, only to discuss their feelings. Sometimes they even forget that there is a third person with them, who absolutely does not want to participate in such a verbose display of brotherly love.
Carver Edlund had written a few dozen of them, some published and some solely existing on the internet, courtesy of someone who called themselves beckywinchester176. Was she Marcia? And after a very fruitful discussion with the these two, Muwatti soon realised that she is no where near the weirdest thing to happen to these two. Or even coming close to the creepiest thing they just happen to unleash upon the world. Is it really that hard for them to not create trouble or the very least stay away from it? More importantly if Lucifer is in charge of Hell, then how did Crowley ended up becoming its ruler? Is having the ability to sit down on fancy chairs, the only requirement for that job? She then asked the girls, considering the fact that the Winchesters end up having so many mishaps and misadventures, and also that they are flawed men, then why is their story so beloved.
And the simple answer was that because they are imperfect and make mistakes. Siobhan elaborated, "Their story goes beyond the simple monster-of-the-week thing. They have faced the most horrible and literally the most evil things that could possibly exist and have lost so much, and have their asses handed to them over and over. However they don't give up, not even once. Mostly because they are somehow responsible for the evil thing being out in the first place. And maybe that's what makes reading their story, which is filled with pain, suffering, and so much death," Including theirs, because, as it turns out, even death isn't a permanent state for them. How many times have these two come back after dying anyways? "any problem can be fixed."
"And the fact that they love each other and would literally fight to death for the other, is kinda what makes them great." Maggie chimed in. "They fight like all siblings do, obviously. But no one can question that those two have the most genuine and heartfelt moments. And that's absolutely the backbone of the whole series."
"For all your complains about them being one-dimensional characters, it does sounds as if you truly admire the Winchesters." Both Maggie and Siobhan chuckled when she pointed this out to them. From the corner of her eyes, Muwatti noticed that both Dean and Sam were back in the auditorium. As well as noticing that her headache was slowly increasing.
"That was strictly an actor's perspective." The taller of the girls was the first to break the silence, "And while Supernatural books are never going to considered a literary masterpiece, they are a good read. A guilty pleasure even, I'd say."
"I mean, a story of two co-dependent psychopaths with daddy and mommy issues fighting monster that somehow reflects their own emotional state and relationship with each other, should not work, but somehow it does." Maggie asserted, leaving Muwatti to wonder what are the differences between sociopaths and psychopaths, and more importantly, which one is worse.
Muwatti realised that she didn't have much time, since the younger Winchester had started moving towards her and the girls. Maggie excused herself and approached the other girl who played Castiel in the play, and hugged her. However Siobhan stayed back as she still had one more thing to add. "Oh yeah, and Sam totally has a cursed dick." It was hard to say what particular thing was the more bewildering and more amusing. Siobhan's statement or Sam's expression, since he had come near enough to hear the last part. "Nearly every women he has been with, has ended up dying. But then again the dude's dick has even managed to kill off werewolves and demons, so what chance could regular human women can possibly have."
A demon and a werewolf! It couldn't possibly be Kate, since she's still alive. But now she really has to know, if this is just how Sam Winchester hunts. Unfortunately she couldn't get any more answers or ask any more questions, since Sam, after overcoming his shock, approached them and loudly stated that they are leaving. Right now. Muwatti said her farewell to Siobhan and thanked her for talking to her and answering so many of her questions.
Turning back towards the hunter, she could see regret at bringing her with them and exasperation at her behaviour clearly written on his face. But what was she supposed to do after finding out about the books, not be a busybody?
"You clearly enjoyed yourself, didn't you?" Still donning that irritated face. Wait a minute, is that what they meant by 'bitch face'? How did she not see it, Dean calls his little brother a 'bitch' all the time. It was so obvious, the clues were right in front of her.
"I did." That wasn't a lie or even an exaggeration. It's the most fun she's had in over three thousand years. This was even better than messing with Demon Dean. She was still using her American accent, as they were still around several of the girls. Dean and Marie were still talking at the corner, near the curtains. While the poor man in front of her had gone back to pinching the bridge of his nose.
By now, her own headache had finally become too much for her. Every instinct in her body told her to leave this place, and she walked away from him and the stage, as quickly as her feet could carry her. The first time she ever got such a headache was when she was ten years old and was made to receive a blessing by Ishtar, as her new Alhuesragal. That headache meant there was a deity nearby. And this one was going to fully manifest soon.
Comments are appreciated. I've been wondering if I should do a short side story about the time Muwattti and Demon Dean spent together and their own brand of misadventures. Anyone interested in that?