They had expected to comb through Diana's newspaper carefully next morning to find the article Amelia had mentioned in her letter. However, the mail witch had barely cleared the table when Diana let out a huge gasp and flatted the paper to reveal a large photograph of Light Spinner staring up at them from beneath the headline
MAGIC COUNCIL SEEKS EDUCATIONAL REFORM
LIGHT SPINNER APPOINTED FIRST-EVER "HIGH INQUISITOR"
"'High Inquisitor'?" said Amanda darkly, her half-eaten bit of toast slipping from her fingers. "What does that mean?"
Diana read aloud:
"In a surprise move last night, the Magic Council passed new legislation giving itself unprecedented level of control at Luna Nova Magical Academy.
"'The Chairman has been growing uneasy about the going-ons at Luna Nova for some time' said Councilman Gran Doma. 'He is now responding to concerns voiced by anxious parents, who feel the school may be moving in a direction they do not approve.'
"This is not the first time in recent weeks Crawford Seam has used new laws to effect improvements at the magical academy. As recently as August 30th, Educational Decree Twenty-Two was passed, to ensure that, in the event of the current headmistress being unable to provide a candidate for a teaching post, the Council should select an appropriate person.
"'That's how Light Spinner came to be appointed to the teaching staff at Luna Nova,' said Councilman Gran Doma last night. 'Holbrooke couldn't find anyone, so the Council put in Light Spinner and of course, she's been an immediate success – '"
"I'm sorry, WHAT?!" said Hannah loudly.
"Wait, there's more," said Diana grimly.
"' – an immediate success, completely revolutionizing the teaching of magical self-defense and providing the Chairman with on-the-ground feedback about what's really happening at Luna Nova.'
"It is this last function that the Magic Council has now formalized with the passing of Educational Decree Twenty-Three, which creates the new position of 'Luna Nova High Inquisitor.'
"'This is a new phase in the Council's plan to get the grips with what some are calling the "falling standards" at Luna Nova,' said Councilman Gran Doma. 'The Inquisitor will have powers to inspect her fellow educators and make sure that they are up to scratch. Professor Light Spinner has been offered this position in addition to her own teaching post, and we are delighted to say that she had accepted.'
"The Council's new moves have received enthusiastic support from the families of students at Luna Nova.
"'I can rest much easier now that I know that Holbrooke in being subjected to fair and objective evaluation,' said Ms. Daryl Cavendish, 41, speaking from her Wedinburgh garden last night. 'I never felt safe sending my own daughters to Luna Nova because of Holbrooke's eccentric decisions. I had considered many times pulling my beloved niece, Diana, from that place over the years, but it was my departed sister's wish that her daughter attends the same school. I have always had my niece's best interests at heart and I am glad to know that the Council is keeping an eye on the situation.'
"Among those 'eccentric decisions' are undoubtedly the controversial staff appointments previously described in this newspaper, which have included the hiring of the Human child author, Annabel Crème, Titan-Shifter Ymir Lenz, and the convicted black wizard, Zeref Dragneel.
"Rumors abound, of course, that Miranda Holbrooke, once Supreme Enchantress of the International Confederacy of Demi-Humans, is no longer up to the task of managing the prestigious school of Luna Nova.
"'I think the appointment of the Inquisitor is a first step toward ensuring that Luna Nova has a headmistress in whom we can all repose confidence' said a Council insider last night.
"The introduction of the post of Inquisitor to Luna Nova was not without criticism. Most prominent among them is Theresa Apocalypse, newly appointed Overseer of Schicksal following her grandfather's unexplained passing. Overseer Theresa has since severed all relations between Schicksal and the Magic Council in protest to the Magic Council's laws.
"Luna Nova is a school, not an outpost of Crawford Seam's office,' said Overseer Theresa. 'This is a thinly veiled attempt to discredit those who don't share the Magic Council's views of the current state of the world.' (For a full account of Overseer Theresa's interview, turn to page 17)."
Diana finished reading and looked across the table at the others.
"So now we know how we ended up with Light Spinner! Seam passed this 'Educational Decree' and forced her onto us! And now he's given her the power to inspect other teachers!" Diana was breathing very fast and her eyes were very bright. "I can't believe this. It's outrageous…!"
"Is that the mad kind of outrageous or the fun Aquaman kind?" asked Jasminka curiously.
"The mad kind!"
Surprisingly, a grin was unfurling on Sucy's face.
"What're you so cheery about?" asked Barbara.
"I was just imagining Professor Finnelan being inspected," said Sucy giddily. "Light Spinner won't know what hit her."
"Well, come on, Akko," said Diana, jumping up, "we'd better get going, if she's inspecting Professor Roselei's class, we don't want to be late…."
But Light Spinner was not inspecting their Herbalism class, nor was she in Professor Azusa's double pharmaceuticals, where Akko's essay on slime goo was handed back to her with a large, red 3 scrawled in the upper corner.
"I have handed you the grades you would have received if you presented this work in your S.T.A.R.," said Professor Azusa with a deep frown like a disapproving mother, as she swept among them, passing back their homework. "This should give you a realistic idea of what to expect in your examination."
Professor Azusa reached the front of the class and turned on her heel to face them.
"The general standard f this homework was disappointing. Most of you would have failed had this been your exams. I expect to see a great deal more effort for this week's essay on the various varieties of venom antidotes, or I will have to start handing out detentions until you start taking this seriously."
Akko realized that Lotte was looking sideways to see what grade she had received; she slid her slime goo essay back into her bag as quickly as possible, feeling she would rather keep that information to herself.
Determined not to get detention for the second week in a row, Akko read and reread every line of the instructions on the blackboard at least three times before acting on them. Her Strengthening Solution was not precisely the clear turquoise shade of Sucy's, but it was at least blue rather than pink, like Amanda's, and she delivered a flask of it to Professor Azusa's desk at the end of the lesson with a feeling of relief.
"Well, that wasn't as bad as last week, right?" said Lotte, as they climbed the steps to the ground level and made their way across the entrance hall toward lunch. "And the homework didn't go too badly either, did it?"
Akko offered no response, but neither did Amanda, Hannah, Barbara, or Constanze, so she wasn't the only one who got a disappointing grade. Lotte grimaced uncomfortably and pressed on, "I mean, all right, I didn't expect the top grade, not if she's marking to S.T.A.R. standard, but a pass is encouraging at this stage, don't you think?"
Constanze clicked her tongue.
"But a lot can happen between now and the exam, we've got plenty of time to improve, but the grades we're getting now are a sort of baseline, aren't they? Something we can build on…."
They sat down together at their favorite table.
"Obviously, I'd be thrilled if I had gotten a seven – "
"Jannson," said Barbara sharply, "if you want to know what grades we got, ask."
"I don't – I didn't mean – well, if you wouldn't mind telling me – "
"I got a two, all right," Barbara grumbled, stirring her soup around.
"Wow, I thought you were supposed to be some kind of genius," said their upperclassman, Hayate Yagami, who had arrived with Nanoha and Fate and was sitting on Akko's left. "How did you score a two?"
"Potions are the same as machines," said Barbara defensively. "With tech, you can always expect the same outcome. Potions is just…random and chaotic."
"Still, you should work on bringing that grade up before the exams come around," Fate advised. "You need at least a four or higher to move on to Professor Azusa's S.T.A.R. classes."
"You're lucky she's being so lenient," Hayate remarked. "Back when Hex was still professor, he couldn't let anyone take his classes without at least getting a 6."
"I still have wartime flashbacks from all the studying," Fate groaned, holding her head like she was in pain.
"Um…could I ask you something?" Akko said to Fate and Hayate. "You two already took your S.T.A.R.s, right? I don't understand how the grading system works."
"It's really straightforward," Hayate explained simplistically. "The grading scales goes between one and seven with seven being the top grade and one being the worst. In order to attend your S.T.A.R. classes, you need to earn a certain grade for that subject. The requirements differ between teachers, but most of them consider a four passing. A three or below is generally failing."
Akko smacked her forehead on the table with a remorseful groan, making the plates clatter; yet nobody batted an eye at her strangeness. Akko imagined trying to conceal from Lotte that she had received ones in all her S.T.A.R.s and immediately resolved to work harder from now on.
"Anyone had an inspected lesson yet?" Fate asked them.
"No," said Diana at once, "have you?"
"Just now, before lunch," said Fate. "Charms."
"What was it like?" asked Stan-Bot.
"Not that bad," said Fate, shrugging. "Light Spinner just lurked in the corner making notes on a clipboard. You know what Professor Kowata is like. She treated her like a guest, didn't seem bothered at all. Light Spinner didn't say much. Asked Tatiana a couple of questions about what classes are normally like, Tatiana told her they were really good, that was it."
"I can't imagine Professor Kowata getting marked down," said Hannah. "Despite her carefree personality, everyone always gets good grades in her class."
"Who've you got this afternoon?" Nanoha asked Akko.
"Professor Ursula and Light Spinner herself."
"Well, try to reign in your temper with Light Spinner today," said Diana. "I can only imagine that Avery would be furious if you missed any more practice."
But Akko did not have to wait for self-defense class to meet Light Spinner. She was pulling out her text book at the table closest to Professor Ursula when Wendy elbowed her in the ribs and, looking around, she saw Light Spinner emerging through the trapdoor in the floor. The class, which had been talking cheerily, fell silent at once. The abrupt fall in the noise level made Ursula, who had been drifting about handing out black paper lanterns for today's lesson, look round.
Ursula maintained a surprisingly level expression, seeming neither welcoming nor disapproving. She merely nodded at Light Spinner in acknowledgement, then turned her back and continued to hand out lantern. Unimpressed, Light Spinner grasped the back of the nearest armchair and pulled it to the front of the class so that it was a few inches behind Ursula's seat. She then sat down, took her clipboard from beneath her robe, and looked up expectantly, waiting for the class to begin.
Ursula did her best to ignore Light Spinner's presence and surveyed the class. "Today we will be resuming our study into shooting star divination," she said with a noticeable rigidness in her voice that could only be in response to the clearly unwelcomed guest. "You have each been provided with a black lantern and a stick of burning incense. As you make a wish on the lantern, you will burn twelve holes in the lantern with the tip of the burning incense."
Silence filled the room as everyone set out to follow their task. Akko couldn't think of what she wanted to wish for – she was too distracted by Light Spinner jotting something down on her clipboard – and just poked twelve random holes.
"Once you have finished, you will tilt the lantern until it touches the flame of the candle inside and set it alight. Be careful not to burn yourself. Once it catches fire, slowly count to twelve, then smother the flames with the provided fire blanket. If a single star is left on the remnants of the lantern, that means the outlook is good. Supposedly, that is the star which will grant your wish. Now you all try it. And remember to be careful."
Akko tilted her lantern as instructed, watching Light Spinner covertly. She was making notes on her clipboard now. After a few minutes, she got to her feet and began pacing the room in Ursula's wake, listening to her conversations with students and posing questions here and there –
"Akko, your lantern!" Wendy cried in a whisper.
Akko looked back at her lantern and realized with a start that the entire thing had been set ablaze. While Akko sputtered like an idiot, completely at a loss for what to do, Wendy had the sense to throw the fire blanket of the lantern and snuffed it out. They waited a few seconds before removing the sheet. The lantern had been completely burned to cinders; only the candle stub in the middle remained.
"I don't think your wish is gonna come true," Jasminka remarked.
"Aw, does that mean Light Spinner won't be crushed by a stampede of centaur?" Akko playfully whined.
"If it's you, I'm sure it'll work out," Wendy giggled. "Its not like you to be distracted in class, Akko. Is something wrong?"
"Take a wild guess," said Akko, gesturing her chin in Light Spinner's direction. They were only a table away from them now. Light Spinner was making another note on her clipboard and Ursula looked very much annoyed by the twitch in her right eye.
"Now," said Light Spinner, looking up at Ursula, "you've been at this post how long exactly?"
"I've been teaching Magical Astrology for over fourteen years," said Ursula evenly, folding her hands behind her back so that Light Spinner couldn't see her fingers curling into a fist. "I've been teaching Foretelling and the advanced for three after Professor Nina retired."
"Quite a period," said Light Spinner, making a note on her clipboard. "So it was Headmistress Holbrooke who appointed you?"
"That's right," said Ursula shortly.
Light Spinner made another note.
"Interestingly, I was looking over the backgrounds of all the teachers, as one should to ensure that the teachers are above board. Yet, when I looked into your background, I noticed significant…gaps in your history."
"The period between your time at school and your appointment to the teaching staff," said Light Spinner, narrowing her eyes suspiciously. "There are records of an Ursula Callistis attending Luna Nova over twenty years ago, and then you suddenly dropped off the face of the Earth. Then when you resurfaced, you changed your appearance and seemingly dropped your surname, instead preferring to go by your first and middle name instead. Is there a reason behind that?"
"Is it relevant to my ability as a teacher?" Ursula questioned coldly.
"Just simple curiosity," said Light Spinner.
"Then I am under no obligation to answer," said Ursula.
Akko perked up curiously at this exchanged. She knew the reason why Ursula went missing between those periods was because she was working alongside Shiny Chariot and their secret organization. But Akko didn't know that she had altered her appearance or that she had dropped her family name; Akko always assumed Callistis was her last name. Now Akko was curious what Ursula was like before.
"Of course," said Light Spinner, making another note. "Well, if you could just predict something for me, then?"
She looked up inquiringly, a hint of maliciousness in her gaze. Ursula quirked her brow, like she had just heard something crazy.
"Excuse me?" said Ursula.
"I'd like you to make a prediction for me," said Light Spinner clearly. "To evaluate your performance as a teacher, of course."
Akko, Wendy, and Jasminka were not the only people watching and listening sneakily from behind their books now; most of the class was staring transfixed at Ursula, who seemed irritated by the demand.
"That's not how foretelling works and you know it," said Ursula coldly. Nevertheless, she walked over to one of the cabinets that lined the walls and retrieved a crystal ball. "But if you want a demonstration, then I would be happy to oblige."
Ursula walked back to Light Spinner, holding the crystal ball in the air between them. The bespectacled professor seemed to be glaring aa hole in the ball, but Akko got the sense that she was looking through the glass at Light Spinner.
"Well, will you look at that, this prediction is about you," said Ursula in a mocking tone.
"Is that right?" said Light Spinner, leering.
"I see corruption and failure in your future," Ursula continued, putting on a false mystical voice with overexaggerated handwaving. "I see you losing control of those you sought to oppress. I see your true nature coming to light. I see your hubris and arrogance becoming your undoing, leading you to a painful and humiliating defeat…. Or you could be making a sandwich. Either one."
There was a pause. Light Spinner surveyed Ursula.
"Right," she said softly, scribbling on her clipboard once more. "Well, if that's the best you can do…."
She turned away, leaving Ursula standing rooted to the spot, burning a whole in the back of Light Spinner's head. Ursula returned the crystal ball to the cabinet, exhaled an aggravated sighed, and resumed pacing the room until she swooped in on Akko, Wendy, and Jasminka's table.
"I see you've managed to completely incinerate your lantern, Miss Kagari," she said in a strangely distant tone.
Luckily, I came prepared for such a situation. Please retrieve a new lantern from the desk. And pay attention this time…"
By the time Akko collected a new lantern and restarted the divination, Ursula had returned to her seat and was watching over the classroom like a hawk. All the while, Light Spinner stood a few feet away, making notes on that clipboard, and when the bell rang, she descended the ladder so that she was waiting for them all when they reached their self-defense lesson ten minutes later.
She was humming to herself when they entered the room. Akko told the others exactly what had happened in Urara class while they all took out their copies of Defensive Magical Theory, but before they could ask any questions, Light Spinner had called them all into order and silence fell.
"Wands away," she instructed them all, and those people who had been hopeful enough to take them out sadly returned them to their bags. "As we finished chapter one last lesson, I would like you all to turn to page nineteen today and commence chapter two, 'Common Defensive Theories and Their Derivation.' There will be no need to talk."
Immensely self-satisfied, she sat down at her desk. The class gave an audible sigh as it turned, as one, to page nineteen. Akko wondered dully whether there were enough chapters in the book to keep them reading through all this year's lessons and was on the point of checking the contents when she noticed that Diana had her hand in the air again.
Light Spinner had noticed too, and what was more, she seemed to have worked out a strategy for just such an eventuality. Instead of trying to pretend she had not noticed Diana, she got to her feet and walked around the front row of desks until they were face-to-face, then she bent down and whispered, so that the rest of the class could not hear, "What is it this time, Miss Cavendish?"
"I've already read chapter two," said Diana.
"Well then, proceed to chapter three."
"I read that too. I've read the whole book."
Light Spinner blinked but recovered her poise almost instantly.
"Well then, you should be able to tell me what Borrin says about counterjinxes in chapter fifteen."
"He says that counterjinxes are improperly named," said Diana promptly. "He says 'counterjinx' is just a name people give their jinxes when they want to make them sound more acceptable."
Light Spinner raised her eyebrows, and Akko knew she was impressed against her will.
"But I disagree," Diana continued.
Light Spinner's eyebrows rose a little higher and her gaze became distinctly colder.
"You disagree?" she repeated.
"Yes, I do," said Diana, who, unlike Light Spinner, was not whispering, but speaking in a clear, carrying voice that had by now attracted the rest of the class's attention. "Mr. Borrin doesn't like jinxes, does he? But I think they can be very useful when they are used defensively."
"Oh, you do, do you?" said Light Spinner, forgetting to whisper and straightened up. "Well, I'm afraid it is Mr. Borrin's opinion, and not yours, that matters within this classroom, Miss Cavendish."
"But – " Diana began.
"That is enough," said Light Spinner. She walked back to the front of the class and stood before them, all jauntiness she had shown at the beginning of the lesson gone. "Miss Cavendish, I am going to take five points from Lunar House."
There was an outbreak of muttering at this.
"What for?" said Hannah angrily.
"For disrupting my class with pointless interruptions," said Light Spinner smoothly. "I am here to teach you using a Council-approved method that does not include inviting students to give their opinions on matters about which they understand very little. Your previous teachers in this subject may have allowed you more license, but as none of them – with the possible exception of Master Noah, who did at least appear to have restricted himself to age-appropriate subjects – would have passed a Council inspection – "
"Yes, Noah was a great teacher," said Diana loudly, "except for that part where he's a mass murdering terrorist working for Jennifer."
This pronouncement was followed by one of the loudest silences Akko had ever heard. Then –
"I think a week of detention would do you some good, Miss Cavendish," said Light Spinner sleekly.
Diana met them at the usual table for breakfast the following morning during the tail end of breakfast with a thick textbook in one hand and eggs dripping off her fork in the other. There were signs that she hadn't slept at all last night; the circles under her eyes were prominent and her hair was slightly tousled. Based on her own experience, Akko could assume that Light Spinner didn't let her go until close to midnight. And knowing Diana, she forgot sleeping in favor of catching up on her studying. The result was the half-dead Cavendish sitting across from Akko with bits of egg dripping down her front.
Her lethargy did not go unnoticed as the ever-attentive Professor Finnelan swooped down on them like a buzzard, immediately honing in on her prized student.
"Miss Cavendish, what on Earth is the matter with you," said Professor Finnelan in a harsh whisper so as not to attract attention, waving her wand to clean Diana's uniform for you. "I have no issue with you make friends with, but that doesn't mean you have to act like them. As a Cavendish, you must show some decorum."
"Give her a break, Finnelan," Amanda defended Diana. "Princess is just tired because she had to spend all night in detention."
"What is this, Diana?" said Professor Finnelan sharply. "Detention? From whom?"
"From Professor Light Spinner," muttered Diana, not meeting Professor Finnelan's beady eyes.
"Light Spinner?" she repeated, blinking dumbfoundedly. "Whatever reason would she have to give you detention?"
"Because I interrupted her class and told her that Amon was a mass murdering terrorist," said Diana without a hint of shame or regret.
"Oh, for the love of – this is your fault," said Professor Finnelan, rounding on Akko.
"How is it my fault?" asked Akko, taken aback.
"You're the one who's been steadily corrupting Diana over the years," said Professor Finnelan accusingly. "And it's only gotten worse since you…paired up, inspiring Diana to follow your foolishness after last week. So help me, Miss Kagari, if Diana's grade fall because of this, I will hold you personally responsible."
She strode away to meet with Professor Ursula on the opposite side of the hall, no doubt tell her Diana's current situation was Akko's fault.
"You know, I can't figure out if she hates me or wants to help me," Akko remarked.
"Professor Finnelan is a complicated woman," said Lotte understandably.
"You don't really think I'm 'corrupting' Diana, do you?" asked Akko.
"Yes/Yes!" Lotte, Sucy, Hannah, Barbara, Amanda, Jasminka, and Stan-Bot said in unison.
"Yeesh, don't answer all at once," Akko grumbled.
A clatter of the tableware informed everyone that Diana had fallen asleep in her porridge.
Diana slept all through charms and scolded everyone for not waking her up when she finally came to, fretting that she had missed something important that might come up on the S.T.A.R. exams. But Professor Kowata, understanding of Diana's plight, had just done review for the day, for which Diana was relived and thankful for. So by the time they arrived in Alchemy, Diana was fully rested and prepared. And it was a good thing, too, because Light Spinner and her clipboard were lurking in a corner waiting for them.
"Excellent," said Sucy with the widest, pointy-toothed grin she ever had. "Let's see that hag get what she deserves."
Professor Finnelan marched into the room without giving the slightest indication that she knew Light Spinner was there.
"That will do," she said and silence fell immediately. "Miss Antonenko, kindly come here and hand back the homework – Miss Müller, please take this box of mice and hand one to each student – "
"Hem, hem," said Light Spinner, employing the same silly little cough she had used to interrupt Holbrooke on the first night of term. Professor Finnelan ignored her. Jasminka handed back Akko's essay; Akko took it and saw, to her relief, that she managed a four.
"Right then, everyone, listen closely – Miss Albrechtsberger, if you do that to the mouse again, I will put you in detention – most of you have now successfully vanished your snails and even those who were left with a certain amount of shell have the gist of the spell. Today we shall be – "
"Hem, hem," said Light Spinner
"Yes?" said Professor Finnelan, turning around, her eyebrows so close together they seemed to form one long, severe line.
"I was just wondering, professor, whether you received my note telling you of the date and time of your inspec – "
"Obviously I received it, or I would have asked what you are doing in my classroom," said Professor Finnelan, turning her back firmly on Light Spinner. Many of the students exchanged looks of glee. "As I was saying, today we shall be practicing the altogether more difficult vanishment of mice. Now, the Vanishing Spell – "
"Hem, hem."
"I wonder," said Professor Finnelan in cold fury, turning on Light Spinner, "how you expect to gain an idea of my usual teaching methods if you continue to interrupt me? You see, I do not generally permit people to talk when I am talking."
Light Spinner looked as though she had just been slapped across the face. She did not speak, but began to scribble furiously on her clipboard. Looking supremely unconcerned, Professor Finnelan addressed the class once more.
"As I was saying, the Vanishing Spell becomes more difficult with the complexity of the animal to be vanished. The snail, as an invertebrate, does not present much of a challenge; the mouse, as a mammal, offers a much greater once. This is not, therefore, magic you can accomplish with your mind on your dinner. So – you know the incantation, let me see what you can do…."
Light Spinner did not follow Professor Finnelan around the class as she had followed Ursula; perhaps she thought Professor Finnelan would not permit it. She did, however, take many more notes while she sat in her corner, and when Professor Finnelan finally told them all to pack up, rose with a grim expression.
"Well, it's a start," said Lotte, holding up a long, wriggling mouse tail and dropping it back into the box Gaëlle was passing around.
"Reminds me of Deadmeat the rat back in our first year," said Sucy. "Wonder whatever happened to him."
As they filed out of the classroom, Akko saw Light Spinner approach the teacher's desk; she nudged Lotte, who nudged Sucy in turn, and the three of them deliberately fell back to eavesdrop.
"How long have you been teaching at Luna Nova?" Light Spinner asked.
"Thirty-six years this October," said Professor Finnelan brusquely, snapping her bag shut.
Light Spinner made a note.
"Very well," she said, "you will receive the results of your inspection in ten days' time."
"I can hardly wait," said Professor Finnelan in a coldly indifferent voice, and she strode off toward the door. "Hurry up, you three," she added, sweeping Akko, Lotte, and Sucy before her. Akko could not help giving her a faint smile and could have sworn she received one in return.
Unfortunately, their day with Light Spinner was not yet over. When Akko and Diana turned up for Advanced Magical History, they found her and her clipboard waiting for them beside Professor Croft.
"You do not usually take this class, is that correct?" Akko heard her ask as they took their seats in the front row closest to the teacher's desk.
"That's right," said Professor Croft, leisurely sitting on the edge of her desk, her notebook in hand ready to begin class. "I am a substitute teacher standing in for Professor Lenz."
"Hmm," said Light Spinner, dropping her voice, though Akko could still hear her clearly. "I wonder – the headmistress seems strangely reluctant to give me any information on the matter – can you tell me what is causing Professor Lenz's very extended leave of absence."
"I'm afraid I can't," said Professor Croft breezily. "Don't know anything more than you do. Got an e-mail from the school asking if I would like to work a couple weeks of teaching and I accepted – that's about it."
"Interesting," Light Spinner hummed. "But – forgive me – why would the Headmistress ask you of all people. You're a human. What makes you qualified to teach in a class for Demi-Humans?"
"Oh, I don't know," said Professor Croft sarcastically. "It couldn't be my PhD in Mystic Archeology Studies from University College London, or that I minored in Demi-Human Cultural and Historical Studies. Now, if you're quite finished, I would like to get started teaching, if you don't mind."
"Yes, please do," said Light Spinner in a low voice, scribbling upon her clipboard.
Light Spinner took a different approach in this class and wandered among the students, questioning them on magical history. Akko grimaced when most people were unable to answer or just made something up to not look stupid; this was really going to hurt Professor Croft's chances.
"Overall," said Light Spinner, returning to Professor Croft's side after a lengthy interrogation of the seventh-years, "how do you, as a temporary member pf staff – an objective outsider, I suppose you might say – how do you find Luna Nova? Do you feel you receive enough support from the school management?"
"Personally, I've always wanted to go to school at Luna Nova when I was a child," said Professor Croft heartily, "but I always lacked the…necessary requirements. So teaching here is kind of like a childhood dream come true. And I have no reason to complain about the staff. Holbrooke was kind enough to let me – a human – work here, and the teachers like Callistis and Kowata are always so helpful. Professor Finnelan can be a little…off-putting, though."
Looking politely incredulous, Light Spinner made a tiny note on her clipboard and went on, "And what are you planning to cover with this class – assuming, of course, that Professor Lenz does not return?"
"Well, I am currently taking them through the period during Titan Wars," said Professor Croft. "They've already covered most subjects that are bound to be on exams; They've already covered the Salem Witch Trials and the witch's contribution to major world revolutions. I thought we might try to cover the history of the Nine Olde Witches and the foundation of magical society…."
"Well, you seem to know what you are doing, for a human," said Light Spinner, making a very obvious tick on her clipboard. It came as no surprise that someone as vile as Light Spinner would be racist against base humans if that little comment at the end of her sentence was any indication. "Well, thank you very much, Professor Croft, I think I have everything I need here. You will be receiving the results of you inspection within ten days."
"Jolly good," said Professor Croft, and Light Spinner exited the classroom.
It was nearly midnight when Diana left Light Spinner's office that night, rubbing her stinging eyes caused by a lack of sleep combined with straining her vision in the dark office. She headed off in the direction of the Lunar common room when she heard a soft squeak below and something nudging against her foot. She looked down and spotted a tiny brown mouse with a suspiciously familiar topknot.
"Akko – "
"Shh!" The mouse squeaked. "Keep it down. Don't want Light Spinner listening in on us!"
"Why are you a mouse?" asked Diana, lowering herself to one knee. "Better question: why are you a mouse in the middle of the night?"
"I got a surprise for you," said Akko enthusiastically. She scampered across the hall and climbed to the sill of an open window, gesturing with her tiny paw. "C'mon, c'mon!"
Diana took a moment to consider her options. On one hand, she really wanted to drop dead in her nice warm bed. On the other hand, a secret midnight rendezvous with Akko….
Diana whipped out her wand, tapping herself with a quiet "Metamorphie Faciesse," and disappeared in a puff of smoke, replaced by an elegant white weasel with a mop of blondish-green hair. Weasel Diana hopped onto the windowsill and chased after Akko mouse, who started climbing the bricks of the castle walls with practiced ease. They climbed until they reached the top of the Eastern Tower, hopping over the ramparts and popping back into human form. Diana had to fight back a gleeful giggle when she saw a blanket and a basket stuffed with food on the floor (both provided by Marianna at Akko's request.)
"A moonlit picnic," Diana teased, though she still smiled and flushed. "And they say romance is dead."
"Though you deserved it after being stuck in a room with Light Spinner," said Akko, taking Diana's hand and pulling her to be seat on the blanket. She rummaged through the basket and asked, "Whaddya want? We got whole ham and turkey, sausage links, three-layer lasagna – "
"A little heavy for a midnight meeting, don't you think?" said Diana, sweatdropping. "Anything light in there."
"Mmm…Marianna made sandwiches," said Akko.
"That'll work," said Diana appreciatively; Akko passed her one of the sandwiches (ham, Swiss, lettuce, and tomato.) "Thank you."
"So," said Akko, leaning back against her arm and chewing off a big chunk of her own sandwich. "Light Spinner threaten you yet?"
"First day," said Diana, taking more delicate bites. "I don't know how, but she found out what Barbara got up to in our first year and threatened to have her expelled. Then she went on to say how she could easily have Hannah's father sacked from Oxford."
"Bitch," Akko spat.
"I wish we could talk to the teachers about this," said Diana. "Maybe Professor Ursula – "
"And how long do you think it would take Light Spinner to pass another decree," said Akko dully, "saying anyone who complains about the High Inquisitor gets fired."
"Sadly, that seems like a high possibility," said Diana, frowning.
"C'mon, I didn't set this up for you to mope around," said Akko, rummaging through the basket again and retrieving several bottles. "Want any Juice? We apple, orange, cranberry – "
"Apple is fine, thanks," said Diana, accepting the bottle. And for many minutes, they just sat there in silence enjoying each other's company; Diana rested her head on Akko's shoulder in comfort. But Diana could stop herself from voicing her thoughts, "She's an awful woman."
"I know," Akko replied in a small voice. "We were actually talking about what to do about her in the dorms. Sucy suggested poison."
"She's probably already too toxin to even notice," said Diana.
"That's what Amanda said," said Akko, chuckling.
"But we do need to do something about Light Spinner," said Diana. "We're not going to learn anything to defend ourselves with her in charge of lessons."
"Well, what can we do about it?" said Akko. "It's too late, isn't it? She got the job, she's here to stay, and Crawford'll make sure of it."
"Well," said Diana tentatively. "I was thinking…." She shot a slighty7l nervous look at Akko and then plunged on, "I was thinking that – maybe the time has come when we should just – do it ourselves."
"Do what ourselves?" said Akko suspiciously, pulling away from her girlfriend slowly.
"Well – learn self-defense ourselves," said Diana.
"You can't be serious," groaned Akko. "You want to do extra work? Do you realize I'm behind on homework again, and it's only the second week?"
"This is more important than homework!" said Diana.
Akko's eyes nearly popped out of her skull.
"I didn't think there was anything in the universe more important than homework," said Akko.
"Could you take this seriously, Akko?" said Diana, slapping the Japanese across the back of her head. "It's about preparing ourselves, like everyone said in Light Spinner's first lesson, for what's waiting out there. It's about making sure we can defend ourselves. If we don't learn anything for a whole year – "
"We can't do much by ourselves," said Akko, though she inwardly agreed with her girlfriend. "I mean, all right, we could go and look up spells in the library and try practicing them, I guess – "
"No, I agree, we've gone past the stage where we can just learn things out of books," said Diana. "We need teachers, proper teachers, who can show us how to use spells and correct us if we're going wrong."
"You mean like Ursula or Croix – "Akko began.
"Professor Ursula and Croix would never approve the risk," said Diana. "And if Light Spinner even thought they were up to something shady, they would be sacked the next day."
"Who, then?" said Akko, frowning at her.
"Well…I was thinking it could be…us," said Diana hesitantly.
There was a moment's silence. A light night breeze brushed through their hair.
"What about us?" asked Akko.
"I'm talking about you and me teaching self-defense, together.
Akko stared, gapping like a fish out of water, then managed to spark a few braincells together to sputter an unintelligible, "Me?"
"Yes, you," said Diana insistently.
"But…."
Akko couldn't resist scoffing, sure that Diana was pulling her leg.
"Okay, you make sense, but I'm not a teacher, I can't – "
"Akko, you're the best duelist and the most experienced out of all the students in Luna Nova," said Diana.
"Me?" said Akko, now on the verge of laughing herself silly. "You're joking, right? You've seen my test scores. I'm terrible – "
"I'm talking about more than just tests," said Diana coolly. "I'm talking about actual experience. Look at what you've done!"
"Whaddya mean?"
"You know what, maybe you're right, you're too much of an idiot to teach," said Diana, smirking slightly. "Let's think for a moment, shall we? Uh…first year – you defeated Barbara and saved the Shiny Rod – "
"But that was luck," said Akko, "that wasn't skill – "
"Second year," Diana interrupted, "you defeated Evie and destroyed the Hive Virus."
"Yeah, but Professor Crème helped – "
"Third year," said Diana, louder still, "you fought a hundred Heartless at once – "
"You know that was a fluke, if the Chronal Accelerator hadn't – "
"Last year," Diana said, almost shouting now, "you fought Ryuko and Satsuki single-handed in the most epic battle of all-time – "
"I don't even remember what happened – "
"Later that same year, you fought off Jennifer – "
"Listen to me!" said Akko, almost angrily, because Diana was still smirking. "Just listen to me, okay? It sounds great when you say it like that,, but all that stuff was luck – I didn't know what I was doing half the time, I didn't plan any of it, I just did whatever I could think of, and I almost always had help – "
"And you'll have help now," said Diana earnestly, taking Akko's hand in both her own. "Akko, I'm not expecting you to do this alone, and I'm not propping you up like some kind of idol or hero. I can provide all the technical knowledge and know-how, but it's impossible to translate book smarts into real world practice. Between the two of us, you have been involved in more battles and came out alive – "
"Only barely," said Akko, looking down cast, clenching the hem of her tunic. "You have no idea what it was like, facing her on that hillside. No one besides Nico understands. The whole time you know there's nothing between you and dying except your own – your own brain or guts or whatever. You can't think straight when you know you're an inch away from being killed, or tortured, or watching your friends die. They've never taught us that in class, what it's like to deal with things like that – and you're acting like I'm some clever girl because I barely managed to crawl away. You just don't get it, that Jennifer could've killed me anytime she wanted if she didn't need me, that – "
Akko was suddenly cut off when Diana pressed her lips on her own, silencing the Japanese. All the downwardly spiraling thoughts were drained from Akko's mind and she allowed herself to sink into Diana's gentle touch. After what seemed like hours (really, wasn't more than ten seconds), the two of them separated and Akko physically and mentally calmed.
"Better?" said Diana.
"Very," Akko replied with a stupid grin.
"Akko…," said Diana gently, "don't you see? This is exactly why we need you. I can teach everyone spells, but you're the only one who knows what it's really like. To be so close to death armed only with your wits and your will. Only you know what it's like facing Jennifer. You don't have to do this alone, Akko. We can do this together."
Akko could not think of anything to say. She was feeling ashamed of her outburst as Diana rubbed soothing circles on the back of her hand. Diana was unreasonably understanding, even when Akko was being difficult. It's one of the many reasons Akko wondered why she put up with her.
"Just…think about it?" said Diana quietly. "Please?"
Akko nodded, hardly aware of what she was agreeing to.
Diana stood up.
"Well, I'm off to bed," she said in a clearly as natural as she could make it. "You um…you coming?"
"Yeah," said Akko. "In…in a minute. I'll just clean up here."
She indicated to the almost untouched picnic. Diana nodded and walked down the tower stairs.
Akko spent the next few minutes collecting everything by hand instead of using magic because it would give her time alone, then dragged everything back to the Polaris dorms. She left the wrapped-up picnic on the couch, knowing that Marianna or someone else would collect it later.
She was suddenly tired that she was tempted to sink into the armchair and sleep there, but instead she trudged upstairs into her bed. Her restless night was punctured once more by dreams of long corridors and locked doors, and she awoke the next day with her head throbbing.
Next chapter: Western Restaurant Calico