Chapter 4: Milady

A/N: (Please read for trigger warning) Thank you for all the follows! I really appreciate it! I don't know if you're still interested in reading, but know that this will be a bit of an angsty ride. Not extreme, but the end of this chapter is not a pretty one. I realize were still within a day or two of the story line, but just hang in there, this won't be a day by day story, we'll move along shortly. Also, I broke this chapter into two sections because it was just getting to long. Also please be advised of the TRIGGER WARNING for mentions of marital abuse. It's not in full detail, because that's unwarranted but there is the implication of one.

Please take a moment to review if you'd be so kind!

"Oh dear, if you'd only ever listened to me you would have known better. I don't you once, and I'll tell you again, love. Is. Weakness. You loved your pathetic stable boy and look where that got you. You loved your father and look what you ended up doing to him. And lastly, that child of yours, well technically not yours, but I assume you loved him all the more. He never loved you dear, you were just temporary until his real mother showed up, and he went and left you behind. Tell me, is that what love is? You think it was meant for you? No, dear child of mine, I didn't raise you to be happy. I raised you to be a Queen. No one will ever love you, because when they do, they'll end up leaving you…."

She tossed and turned, she wanted to get away from her mother's voice, and she didn't want to return to the waking world. But her mother's words were getting louder, and louder, eventually she started to yell back at her that Henry loved her, and that he was enough. It seemed to go one for hours, she felt her body twisting, but the next image she saw of standing in front of the town line, watching hopelessly as Henry and Emma drove away. And that was enough to have her shooting up in bed.

She didn't know where she was, but one thing was clear, it wasn't a nightmare, it was all true. She didn't know how to feel, but she knew the tears that were flowing freely would have to stop, the shaking had to end, and some way, somehow she had to go numb. She hid her pain and anguish for years behind the mask of the Evil Queen, and she would do just that. Seconds later Granny and Snow ran in, instinctively she through her hand out to stop them from coming any closer to her, she wouldn't hurt them, but she didn't need their coddling. She gave herself a few more minutes, that's all she needed. She couldn't be weak much longer, she refused. Henry was gone to her, but at the same time, she would not let him down. She knew he loved her, and that's all she needed. For now, now it was time to end the weakness. Now it was time to set these people up, so that she could leave and never see them again.

In a wave of her had she engulfed herself in a cloud of smoke, and when she emerged, so did the Queen. She wouldn't face them, they had seen too much, they had seen her at her weakest point, so she walked and left them behind without so much as batting an eye to them. Outside of the room it wasn't any better, the other un-charming was there, the hand less wonder, the Grumpy one, and Neal. They stared at her with shock, but she saw the hint of pity, and she was having none of it.

"Are you all planning on standing there just staring, or have you actually done something productive of yourselves?" She said.

"Wake up on the wrong side of the bed love, perhaps you could go back and try for the other?" retorted Hook.

The glare she sent him was deadly, the whole room stood quiet, until David broke the tension.

"Alright, well I see your up and running. How about we fill you in, while you were out."

" First things first, how many other witches have you managed to piss off sister, apparently you left one behind, and by what we've heard she taking to living out of your castle." Grumpy didn't care, but he sure as hell wasn't spending his days living out of Granny's barn.

"What the hell are you talking about you idiot. Did you happen to miss the part where we were all carried to Storybrooke, or has the dust from the mines finally reached your head?" She swore she could set him on fire the moment he opened his mouth. But that was to be expected, the moment something went wrong, lets blame Regina why don't we?

"When we arrived here, Prince Philip and Princess Aurora informed us that the forest is not safe, the decision was made to go back to the Summer Palace, but they informed us that there is a witch who might be taking residence in the there. " David was quick to interfere, for fear that Regina would soon explode.

The thought of someone taking her castle was enough to spark something in Regina, she didn't know what, but if she was to be here, in this damned Forrest, she sure as hell wasn't going to be spending it hiding from a pathetic wannabe witch, who was probably enjoying her belongings. No, she was going to get rid of this problem once and for all, besides, she needed the things that were in her chambers in order to get rid of this ever growing pain in her chest. She would get back to her chambers, no matter what got in her way, and this novice witch wasn't about to ruin her plans.

"Witch or no witch, I'm getting into my castle. Whoever this person is will not interfere if it knows what's good for them. I'll go to the castle, and the rest of you can follow at sun down. Once I deal with whoever this person is, and lower the shield, once it's down you can bring the rest of your people in." Declared Regina.

"If you think for one second that you're going alone, you got another thing coming. We don't know what this witch is like, according to the Philip and Aurora they have creatures doing her bidding, I don't care if you have a death wish, or whatever you're trying to do, but I won't let you do this alone. You could get hurt. I know you're in pain, but you can't go on this alone, you know Henry wouldn't want this for you." The moment Snow said Henrys name, Regina saw red.

"DO. NOT. BRING. HIM. INTO. THIS. HES GONE SNOW. My son is gone, and I have nothing and no one left. So whatever I plan on doing, is NOT of your concern." Regina tuned to Snow, yelling in her face.

"You have us Regina. Whether you like it or not, I lost Emma, for the second time. You're not the only one who lost someone today, I lost my daughter, and Henry too. So please don't do this, we're the only thing that's left of your family, and frankly I can't lose you too." The vulnerability in an honesty in Snows eyes were enough for Regina's anger and rage to dissipate. Regina knew she was right, but everything was just too raw right now. She knew going into that castle was a suicide mission, and she didn't care, she could have fought to her death if it meant feeling something other than the pain in her chest, she didn't care about what happened to her. But after all these years with Henry, she wouldn't let him down, which meant she had to play nice with the un-Charming's and their crew. At least until this witch was taken care of, only then would she be able to do the one thing that would take her pain away.

"We leave first thing in the morning." Was the last thing they heard as they watched the Queen leave the cottage.

By mid-morning the next day, the people were gathered, wagons had been prepared, and the two day trek to the castle began. Stupidly, Regina had agreed to help lead the group, standing in the front with David, and Snow. Hook made the decision that life in the castle simply didn't suit him, so he took off with a horse in search of his beloved ship. Regina envied him, he had a place to escape to, to roam the seas, and do what he pleased. To be free and alone. While she on the other hand, was going back to a castle filled with years of painful memoires. The castle was the last place she wanted to go to, but there was no other place to go to. So here she was, co-leading a group of people who hated her guts, to the place she once was force to call home. 'Life's a sick joke somethings' she thought to herself. That's all she had on this trip, her thoughts.

She once again masked herself behind the image of the Evil Queen, leather pants that became second skin, a jeweled black corset tight enough to break a rib, black feather cloak, and her hair tight elaborate enough to create a headache. She didn't care, it was better to feel her self-inflicted pain than the emotional on currently raging on her soul.

Granny watched from afar, she knew the mask that the girl put on was on full display. She couldn't help but wonder what would have happened if she was strong enough back then to do what the young queen had so desperately begged of her to do. She remembered her pleading eyes, the ones that haunted her since the day she met her…

She could hear the screams and cries that came from the room. She didn't want to hear it, she didn't want to be near, but at the same time, she couldn't stay away. The wedding was over, the party had ended for most, but behind that door she knew far too well what was happening. She watched from afar as several men were led to separate doors. "The Viewing" as these sickly royals called this, but to her, it was simply horrifying and gut wrenching.

She knew if she interfered she would lose her head, and her girl would have a certain death if they discovered what she would turn into in a couple of years. So she stood, and waited as the men gathered in the rooms to witness the King take his new Queen and make her his own, for when they were finished, they would leave the new Queen alone.

It felt like an eternity, her screams became restless, the sobs could be hear throughout the corridor, and it shook Granny to her core. Eventually she saw the doors opened by the guards, and the men walked out, the so called King being patted and cheered like he'd just won a war by the others. The whole scene made her sick. Once she made sure they were all gone, she made her way to the room, and what she saw, she could never un-see.

The poor Queen laid there on the floor, laying on her side with her knees to her chin. What was left of her night gown was thrown over her, the bed used for the viewing with the sheets all rustled. She had put up a fight, but in the end she lost terribly. As Granny approached her, the Queen didn't stir, her eyes reds, her body shaking, but Granny could tell by the look in her eyes, the girl was in shock. Slowly she knelt down, and her eyes locked with the young girl, and the moment they did, the Queen took her hand, and cried into it. Granny gathered her into her arms, and rocked her back and forth until she calmed.

Eventually the queen stopped, Granny placed her nightgown back on, and wrapped a bed sheet around her frame. She took her to her chambers, drew her a bath, and cleaned her. All the while the queen was silent, in a trance like state she followed Granny's words. When the bath was done, she was dressed in a clean nightgown, and placed in Bed. Granny didn't leave her side all night, the young Queen curled herself next to the older woman's body, and clung to her for protection. Protection that Granny wished she could give her fully, but in the end they both knew it was useless against 'the duties' that came with the farce of this marriage. The last thing the Queen said before sleep took control was the one thing Granny could never give her… "Please wake me from this nightmare, for this can't be my life. If it's so, take the light from my eyes, and take the heart from my chest."

It was hot, and humid. Her feet were killing her with the shoes she wore, and the corset made everything a million times worse. God what she wouldn't for her running shoes and yoga pants right now. The journey hadn't even reached the halfway mark, but the wait of her jewels and dress was straight out ridiculous, her thinning patience was wearing you, quick.

At least the miserable journey was enough to allow her some privacy, an hour or so she slowly made her way to the edge of the trail, with no one besides her, she was finally allowed her moment of privacy, yet all she could think about was her little boy. She knew she had made some mistakes when it came to Henry, but no one will ever know how much it broke her when Emma came into his life. She knew he would ask questions eventually, but if there was one thing that scared Regina Mills was being forgotten by the person she loved the most.

Bus she was a villain, and villains don't get happy endings. She should have known better, but when he came into her life, he was able to chase the darkness away. She watched him grow, watched him take his first steps, wiped his tears at every fall, stood guard all night when he was feverish, and was there for all the coddles he was so fond of as a little boy. He was her sun and moon, every day, and that was something she would simply never regret. Her child was gone from her, and soon enough she would be gone from the world of the living, only to return if the only true love in her life were to come back and wake her. She simply couldn't take this pain anymore, and it had only been a day since she had to let him go. There was no one who needed her, as much as Snow could plead her case, Regina was never wanted by anyone, she was the sore thumb, she was the outcast. Once these people were safe, because it was the right thing to do by Henry, she wouldn't be needed, and for that she was grateful. She was tired of being needed, she was tired of being the Queen, she just wanted the one thing she's always wanted to be, and she wanted to be Regina, just Regina.

Lost in her thoughts she didn't even realize she had ventured away from the trail, away from the people. She didn't even register the tears that fell from her eyes. It had been so long since she admitted the truth to herself, she's never wanted this life, she just wanted to be happy, but her entire existences was never in her control, it had always been manipulated by people who should have loved her for who she was.

With her hand crying to muffle the sound of her cries, and her eyes shut trying to tame the tears, she didn't see the creature that hovered in the trees, waiting for the right moment to make its attack. When she did notice the creature, it was almost too late. She heard its screeches as it dove for her, but at last second she jumped out of the way, landing rather ungracefully, with the wind was knocked out of her, and there was a sharp burning pain radiating out of her shoulder. She didn't have a chance to register the people shooting arrows, the beast made its attempt to strike her, and this time it made its mark. She felt its claws dig into her skin, burning at contact, and she screamed in utter agony. The next second she felt its wings begin to flap, and attempt to rise away.

She heard it screech once more, she heard the whistling of arrows, and the next she landed with an umpf on the ground. There were people around her, men to be exact, she knew they would recognize her the moment they reached her, god knows what they could do to her, and for the first time, she didn't care. She felt the rushing of the blood that streamed from her arm, and the same sensation from her opposite side where the beast's claws made their puncture. Said beast now laying yards away from her, dead with several arrows piercing its body. Her shoulder was screaming in pain, and now she started to see black spots in her vision. One of the men came closer, she felt her upper body being lifted from the ground, and arms around brushing the hair away from her face. The last she hear before she gave into the darkness was someone calling out to her.

"Milady!"

*hides*

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