"I wish I was a mermaid, then I would have amazing abs and the ability to swim the hell away from you!" - Pansy to her cranky bodyguard Mattie, after a fight about cigarettes.

The man who sat at her marble kitchen island looked annoyed, brow furrowed kind of annoyed. He tapped his quill impatiently as Mattie recounted what happened in her usual irate voice, giving a short but accurate description of Pansy's shopping trip. But Pansy saw the way Mattie's foot bounced anxiously underneath the counter and noted when she shoved 3 whole sticks of Zonko's pink calamint gum into her mouth at once.

Mattie needed a cigarette but more she never liked Draco Malfoy and he certainly didn't like her either.

"Matt only did as I asked," Pansy interjected before another fight broke out. "I needed help, she interceded on my behalf as is her job, and then got me out of a hairy situation."

"The hairy situation being that Neville Longbottom… kissed you?"

No, not this… Longbottom fellow. What kind of name is Longbottom anyways? That was Gus through and through, sweetheart. My husband knows how to kiss a woman.

"First he called her 'Stella'," Mattie said, taking a 4th piece of gum from her pocket. "Then he kissed her, kissed her like a man kisses a woman he hadn't seen in a while."

Then she turned to Pansy, popped the gum into her mouth and smirked. "You two had a thing in school right? Clearly he's missed you more than you missed him."

"Oh no," Pansy hopped off the counter and started pacing in front of the stove. "Hard no, Mattie."

"He most certainly would never kiss her, not after their history," Draco offered.

"History?"

"Nothing so tawdry, Matt. I made up a cruel name when we were in Second Year," Pansy placed her fingers on her hot cheeks, trying to calm herself down. Her heart had been pumping frantically ever since her shopping trip and had yet to calm down to normal levels. "It wasn't even clever. We called him… I called him Fatbottom, because he was a chunky child. "

Mattie snorted. "And he came up with Stella in return. What an idiot, of course you didn't want to kiss him back."

But wasn't it marvelous, honey? That man is pure steel underneath those common clothes.

"Can you please be silent?" Pansy snapped, wringing her wrists nervously.

Both Mattie and Draco looked surprised at her outburst, but of course, she hadn't been speaking to them. She'd been speaking to Stella.

Give in. You've been cooped up in this house for years. You need a proper tumble in a sturdy bed with a man who knows what he's doing, and honey, my man knows what he's doing. Just go along for the ride and let us do our thing.

"Your ... thing?" Pansy was almost too afraid to ask.

And was promptly rewarded with image of image of exactly what the voice in her mind would do given half the chance. It wasn't unfamiliar. It was her and Neville. Doing... Oh Goddesses...

"There's something I haven't told either of you," Pansy continued her pacing, ignoring the persistent voice in her head. It sounded like her own voice. It blended seamlessly into her own thoughts except for all the 'honey' and 'sweetheart's and that accent.

Maybe it was her own voice? And she wasn't yet certain exactly what happened. Perhaps she experienced a psychotic break, her mind shattering and coming up with this… provocative persona named Stella?

Drats! She'd been ready to explain about the voice in her head but what if it was all just that? In her head? Oh but, Neville Longbottom called her Stella. Clearly he was involved, somehow. She couldn't even guess as to how, but he was.

"Stella...?" she asked, despite Mattie and Draco both observing her very carefully. For once they seemed to be on the same page: concerned.

Yes, Pansy?

Well, it was official. She was fucking insane.

Decision made, she stopped in front of Draco, who had come to help her and be her legal representation. "I need to speak to him. To Neville."