The Invincible Spider-Man

Chapter 56: Lost In Guilt

Spencer was immediately wheeled into the hospital, an oxygen mask on his face, followed closely by Alistair and a doctor. The nurses took him to the Intensive Care Unit.

"Is he going to be okay?" asked Alistair, petrified.

"I'll have to assess the situation. Does he have any existing ailments?" asked the doctor.

"Lung Cancer," sighed Alistair. "I'd assume this is a symptom of the Apoptosis Suppression, and the tumor growing," said Alistair, as the doctor raised his eyebrows.

"We'll just try and stabilize him," said the doctor, as he rushed into the ICU, leaving a very worried Alistair.

Peter walked inside the waiting room of Jane Jameson's office. He still couldn't believe that he had agreed to a therapy session.

"We both know that this is best for you," said the voice.

"I told you that I have it under control," replied Peter.

"Punching a wall till your knuckles bleed isn't control, Peter. It's anger, that you've kept bottled up for so long now,"

"There's a reason I kept it bottled up. What am I gonna say, my girlfriend was killed by a homicidal maniac who did so just to get to me?"

"I'm sure you can paraphrase that,"

"The point is, no one here knows what I've been through, and I sure as Hell know that no one can relate,"

"What about him?" asked the voice, and Peter turned to his right to see an old man, possibly in his early 80s sitting in one of the chairs. He had a picture of a young man clutched in his hands, as a tear dropped from his eyes.

"No offense, but I'm pretty sure a loved one of his wasn't thrown off of a bridge,"

"Superficial details don't always need to add up," replied the voice. "Look at that person, there," it continued.

Peter glanced across his seat and noticed a young woman, about his age, possibly older, sitting with her legs crossed. Her hair was frizzled and the underside of her eyes were completely dark. Her fingers and eyes twitched uncontrollably.

"A drug addict. Last I checked, I never did drugs,"

"Doesn't mean they aren't feeling the pain as you. Look, if you could just let me explain-"

"I don't need an explanation okay! Just- leave me alone!" said Peter, out loud, as everyone stared at him. He sighed and got back to staring at the ground. Just then, a woman who seemed to be in her early 50s walked out of the office door.

"Peter Parker? Is Peter Parker here?" she asked. Peter stood up, and she gestured for him to come in.

Jane seemed to have a very confident gait as she walked back to her desk. Her hair was tied up in a bun, and there was a heavy makeup on her face, possibly to hide the wrinkles.

"Jonah speaks a lot about you. It's lovely to finally meet you!" said Jane, extending her hand, as Peter lightly shook it.

"Mr Jameson talks about me?" asked Peter.

"He admires your…work ethic. How you try and always meet deadlines, no matter what,"

"I have to say, it was really generous of him to arrange this. But, between you and me, I don't really think I need therapy," said Peter, his voice going lower and lower.

"Everyone feels that way, that they have things under control, and they can figure it out themselves. But think about it like this. You need to learn to crawl before you can walk. Completely glossing over the part where you take help from others is like skipping straight to running. You might make some distance, but won't get far," said Jane.

"Right…" said Peter, as he sat back on the couch.

"So, let's start by what happened. If you don't mind recounting the event," said Jane.

"It was that night, 8 months back," said Peter, referring to what was now named "The Night of The Goblin". Peter sighed, as he continued.

"Gwen and I were at the laboratory, where I worked. It was a rather…explosive job. But luckily, she was there to help. This one experiment was particularly destructive, and I didn't want to drag her into it. But…she came anyway. Just as we were working, a bomb went off. And thanks to that surprise, I made a mistake with the equipment and…well…" explained Peter, shuddering with every word.

"She- she had warned me that the job was dangerous. She had told me so many times, but I never listened to her," he continued.

"So you feel your dangerous job was what caused it?" asked Jane.

"She was supportive, but after a terrible accident involving me and multiple…chemicals, she had told me to take a break from the job. We fought and had a pseudo-break up. So, I guess I feel that, if I had listened to her, and quit my job, or at least not done that bloody experiment, she'd still be here," said Peter, his eyes feeling watery again. Jane offered him a glass of water.

Peter sipped the glass of water down and put it away, his throat not feeling as dry now.

"Peter, the first thing you have to do is, not blame yourself," said Jane.

"How? It was entirely my fault! If I had just listened to her and quit-"

"It would've prevented her death, yes, but you couldn't have seen it coming. No one could have. I mean, if there was a possibility that, "one day you will conduct an experiment that's interrupted by an explosion across Manhattan which causes collateral damage towards you and Gwen," wouldn't you have taken that precaution?" said Jane.

"Yeah but, I still feel like I could've seen it coming," said Peter. "I mean, it's an occupational hazard,"

"Peter…the details of that event were way too specific for anyone to see coming, you can't blame yourself. Besides, she must have known the risks that come with working in such a dangerous laboratory with you, right?"

"Yeah, she would've,"

"That's the first step, the hardest step. Forgiving yourself. In this case, you can't blame yourself for her death, and she certainly wouldn't want you to be thinking about that 8 months later," said Jane.

"I still wish I didn't let her get involved in all of that," added Peter.

"That's perfectly normal. But in the end, we regret the chances we didn't take. Think about it this way, since you both were working together, did it bring you both closer?" asked Jane.

"Very. So much so that we knew everything about each other. Being with her was some of the best days of my life," sniffled Peter, as he started to cry.

"See Peter, everyone goes through a crucible. What truly matters is whether you come out of that crucible changed, or burned," said Jane.

"Haven't I been through enough already? My parents went missing, my uncle died because of me. I lost a dear friend too, and now Gwen!" said Peter, in a louder tone.

"Life has been unfair to you, Peter. The truth is, there's no fairness in life. But therein lies the greatness. True greatness is how you work with the cards life has dealt you. You've had some shitty cards, but are you going to stop there and forfeit? Or are you going to play your best hand?" asked Jane.

Peter sighed as he didn't answer, staring out of the window.

"With great power, comes…comes…" said Peter, at least he tried to say, but he got choked up as he started to weep again.

"It's an old saying my uncle told me. But I can't finish it, not now…" said Peter. "I let him down," he continued.

"You didn't let anyone down, Peter. In fact, your uncle, your parents, Gwen, everyone you've lost would be proud of the man you have become. You've taken all these hits, and yet you're still standing. Peter Parker, you're one of the strongest people I've ever had the privilege of meeting," said Jane, reassuring him.

"So, m-my job. I gave up that responsibility. Was it in vain?" asked Peter.

"That's up to you," said Jane. "What would Gwen want you to do?" she asked.

Peter remembered Gwen's last request to him, about how no matter happens, he would still continue being Spider-Man. Peter gulped, as he shook away that memory, then looked back at Jane, teary eyed.

"Thank you so so much. I'll be back in the next two weeks," said Peter, lightly smiling.

"Happy to hear it, Peter. You've made both Jonah and I proud," she said.

As Peter walked out the door, he saw the old man sitting in the chair. He seemed to be weeping lightly, holding the picture of the younger man. Peter decided to take a seat next to him.

"Hello," said Peter.

"Hi," said the old man, wiping away his tears.

"Who is that?" asked Peter, pointing at the photograph.

"Alan…" said the old man, as he started to weep again. "The love of my life, from a previous lifetime…" he whispered, as his breath began to shudder again. Peter put a hand on the man's back. Judging from the picture, he could tell that the young man was a soldier during World War II. Peter noticed a similar badge on the young man's chest, which was also pinned on the older man's chest at the present.

"I lost someone I care about too. She was…" said Peter, but he started getting choked up again.

"She died because of me," said Peter, his voice breaking.

"Alan died, because of my inaction. His gun got jammed when in the trenches, and he got shot…" said the old man, as he started to tear up.

"It's not your fault. I know it feels like it, but it's not," reassured Peter.

"How can it not be? Because of me he died. I never got to say goodbye," said the old man.

"You never could've predicted that his gun would get jammed. You can't blame yourself for that. The best thing you can do to honor his memory is to keep moving forward. It's what Alan would've wanted from you," said Peter.

The old man wiped away his tears again and sniffled. "T-Thank you…" he said.

"I'm Peter. Peter Parker," said Peter, shaking the man's hand.

"Sawyer. Sam Sawyer," said the man finally smiling.

Peter stood up and walked away, but just then Sam called out to him.

"Thank you, Peter. You gave something this old man hasn't had since the war," said Sam.

"Which is?" asked Peter.

"Hope," replied Sam, as he clutched Alan's photograph. Peter couldn't help but smile, as he walked out of the building.

Spencer came to, every part of him feeling weak. The first thing he noticed was Alistair's worried expression, which seemed to ease once Spencer opened his eyes. He tried moving his fingers, but they were too weak.

Spencer tried to speak, but instead coughed up a flurry of phlegm and blood. Alistair quickly fletched a tissue.

"Thank…you," said Spencer, feeling better. Alistair smiled weakly as he sat back down on his chair.

"So, where were we?" asked Spencer.

"You're just going to ignore what happened? Apparently the tumor has reached your lymph nodes a long time back. You've been Stage 3 for months now!" exclaimed a shocked Alistair.

"I know it seems like I'm doomed. But there is a way," said Spencer.

"Right. You were telling me about some bioengineered organism?" asked Alistair.

"A sym-symbiote. Capable of cellular regeneration for the host," explained Spencer. "Project ID V3, Code N0M," he continued, as Alistair scribbled it down on a piece of paper.

"V3…N0M. Venom?" asked Alistair, as Spencer chuckled, coughing up some more blood.

"It was an inside joke between me and the other head scientist. How something that could cure the world was coincidentally nicknamed as Venom," said Spencer.

"But…if this project did exist, I would've known about it. I mean, it would've been present in the Oscorp Archives-"

"It was off the books. Norman Osborn didn't want to continue on a project that was a "lost cause". Ironic, considering how he himself became one," remarked Spencer. "But there must be something about the project at Oscorp. It might not be in the digital records, but a physical copy must exist. A document, or hell, the organism itself," explained Spencer.

"I'll go check Oscorp right now. Stay safe, dad," said Alistair, as he rushed out of the room and out of the hospital.

Peter walked to the coffee shop where he was going to meet Eddie. Sure enough, he was sitting at their usual spot, next to the window overlooking the street. Peter walked up to him and took a seat across him.

"Hey," said Peter.

"What's up?" asked Eddie. "I already ordered your normal cappuccino and my frappe," said Eddie.

"Thanks. I just got back from the therapist," said Peter.

"Oh wow. How'd it go?" asked Eddie, as their drinks arrived. Eddie took the two hot drinks and gave Peter his cappuccino, while he sipped on his frappe.

"It went good. Definitely better than I expected. Jane made some really good points," said Peter, as he swirled his straw around in his cup aimlessly.

"It was really nice of Jameson to give you a free trial like that. Didn't know there was that side of him that wasn't Terence-freaking-Fletcher. And for the last time, my name is spelled as E-D-D-I-E, not E-D-D-Y!" complained Eddie, as he pointed at his coffee cup. Peter lightly chuckled.

"Speak for yourself. One time they spelled my name as P-I-O-T-R," commented Peter.

"I'm telling you, there's some conspiracy theory that they actually do this for some type of free marketing, so that people would post it around," said Eddie, taking out his phone. "And I gotta be honest, it's certainly working," he laughed, as he took a picture of the cup and posted it on Instagram.

Peter finally sipped at his cappuccino.

"Careful, it's scalding hot!" said Eddie. Peter shrugged it off.

"So, how's stuff at The Bugle?" asked Peter.

"Pretty good. Ned and I often work together on stuff, getting each other's opinion on everything. Betty's an amazing receptionist. And Carlie…" said Eddie, as he trailed off.

"You've got a crush on her, don't you?" asked Peter. Eddie seemed startled as he blushed.

"What, no! I mean, not really… I mean…yeah," confessed Eddie.

"Eddie, it's 2015. You don't need to embarrassed about a workplace crush," replied Peter.

"I know but, she's Carlie Cooper. She's beautiful, intelligent, and I'm…well, I'm Eddie Brock. Besides, I'm like 3 years older. Wouldn't that be weird?" asked Eddie.

"You ask me, it's not that big of a difference. I mean, she's 19 and you're 22. No need to call Chris Hansen," said Peter, as he finished his cappuccino.

"It's partly why I asked you here. I was kind of hoping…that you could help me?" asked Eddie.

"Sure, I could try. I mean, you were one of those people who's always been there, especially after…" said Peter, as the thought came back again.

"Yeah, I can help you," said Peter, very quickly as he downed his last gulp of cappuccino.

"Thanks man. I can't thank you enough," said Eddie, as Peter paid for the drink and tipped the waitress.

"You…don't need to thank me," said Peter, as he got up and walked out of the coffee shop in a hurry. There was something he had to do.

Eddie seemed a little disturbed by how Peter left in a hurry, as he opened his phone and went to the group chat with him, Ned, Betty, MJ, Aunt May and Carlie.

NED: How'd it go?

EDDIE: Was going good…till he just sort of unexpectedly left.

CARLIE: Did u bring up what happened?

EDDIE: I mean, it came up in the conversation.
EDDIE: Which btw, was the longest conversation I've had with him.
EDDIE: He actually finished the cappuccino this time.

MAY: Maybe visiting Jane helped him?

EDDIE: He said it did, but I don't think he's convinced himself that he had to move on.

MARY JANE: And we've barely talked since yesterday.
MARY JANE: Although I hope he might today.

BETTY: Depends if he'd want to visit Jane again tho.

NED: Jameson just called. Apparently he told Jane that he'll visit again in a few weeks.

CARLIE: YESSS!

MARY JANE: It worked! He's finally opening up.

MAY: Wait, if Jonah knows about this, why isn't he in this group chat too?

BETTY: Unless you want every message to be in all caps and have swear words every 2.3 sentences, I'd suggest otherwise.

EDDIE:

CARLIE: Ditto.

Alistair walked to the records room of Oscorp, where all the physical documents were kept. He ran past all the large drawers and towards the "V" Section, looking for any news on the V3-N0M.

He rummaged past the various folders, but there was nothing about it.

"What the Hell? It's as if every record was scrubbed clean. Physically and digitally," thought Alistair

Just then, he noticed something. A folder, with N0M on it.

"What's that doing in the "V" Section?" he asked, as he lifted the surprisingly light folder.

However, as he lifted it, only one piece of paper fell from it. It was a picture of a black goo, and most of the text was blacked out. However, one sentence wasn't, towards the end of the document.

"Project V3-N0M has been discontinued, and its records deleted, by orders from…Richard Parker?" read out Alistair.

There was a snowstorm that night, but Peter walked towards the graveyard, despite the snow hitting his skin. He walked up towards Gwen's grave. Her name on the tombstone was being covered by snow. Peter quickly reached his arm out of his pocket and started to wipe away the snow, making sure her name was clearly legible.

"Hey, Gwen. I know I just…came yesterday, but I needed to get this off of my chest," he said, breathing heavily, as he started to weep again and he fell to his knees.

"I'm sorry…I'm so so sorry…" he said. "But I can't live your promise, I can't do this!" he cried out, as he hugged the tombstone.

"I can't be…Spider-Man without you, I can't! It's meaningless- everything's meaningless without you!" he cried, hugging the grave tightly. Just then, he heard a cry for help. Peter looked across the haze, and saw a woman walking away from another man.

"Help! Help!" she cried out loud, as she tried to stumble away.

"You shall be cleansed of your sins! Nothing Holy can save you!" he said, holding a double barrel shotgun.

"Oh God," said Peter, as he looked at the scene, then back at the grave. Taking a deep breath, he stood up and ran towards the scene. Without thinking, he tackled the man to the ground, who was wearing a green ski mask and a purple turtleneck.

"Go!" he shouted to the woman, who started to run away.

The man punched Peter as he kicked him off. He stumbled back to his feet and held the shotgun in his arms. Peter however, quickly ducked and kicked the shotgun out of his hands. However, the man elbowed Peter in his back and pushed him onto the snow.

Peter quickly got back to his feet, but the assailant tackled him right near Gwen's grave.

"You shouldn't be out in a snowstorm, sinner! Reckoning will find you even in the storm!" he said, as he kicked Peter's face. He then grabbed him by the hair, and slammed his forehead down onto the top of Gwen's grave.

"NO!" yelled out Peter, as his blood trickled down on her grave. He quickly elbowed the man in his mandible, then kicked him away. The man shrieked as he grabbed his shotgun and shot around randomly. Peter quickly hid behind another headstone.

"Divine justice will find you sinner!" shouted the man, as he rushed out into the snow.

Peter crawled out behind the gravestone and started to wipe away the blood from her grave, as the snow started to bite at his skin.

"I'm sorry. But I can't be Spider-Man. I can't be Spider-Man without you. But I can't let go of your promise!" he said, closing his eyes and letting the tears fall, when he hit upon an epiphany.

"Every time I look at that suit, I'm reminded of what I lost. You, John, George, Uncle Ben, and so many more innocent civilians killed because of my mistakes. But I don't need to be Spider-Man. I can be someone else, someone greater. Someone who won't make the same mistakes. Being Spider-Man cost me so many people, including the love of my life. No more," said Peter, as he stood up and rushed out of the graveyard.

He ran past the snowstorm and back towards ESU. He rushed inside campus and into the building, where he raced back to his room, much to the surprise of other students with how fast he was running.

He opened his closet and rummaged through, pulling out a red and black leather jacket, which used to be Uncle Ben's. He then pulled out a light blue hoodie that Gwen had gifted him last Christmas. He also pulled out a pair of black trousers, a pair of sunglasses, a red mask and a beanie hat.

The whole night, he spent putting together his new suit. He cut out the bottom part of the hoodie, and left only the middle section and the hood. He cut out the glasses from the sunglasses, and put them on the mask as square eye lenses.

He put on the red and black leather jacket, and slipped on the middle part of the blue hoodie. He thought about spray painting a spider on it, but then realized he didn't want to be like the old Spider-Man, but still kept his web shooters. Putting on the mask with the eye lenses, he proceeded to put on the beanie hat, looking like a completely different hero.

"I'm not gonna be Spider-Man anymore. From now on, I'm someone else," he thought to himself as he looked in the mirror, and back to the picture of him and Gwen.

"I won't let you down," he said.

The green ski masked man walked back inside his lair, hanging up his shotgun.

"So many targets in a city of sin. How do I purge those who cannot be saved? Rapists on one end, prostitutes on the other. This city reeks," he said to himself, as he strung up a long line of people on a board.

He took a deep breath, and shouted.

"But this city will be cleansed, by God's fury! It will be cleansed by God's vessel, me! The Sin-Eater!"

Well, that wraps up this chapter! If you're having trouble imagining Peter's new suit, it's a mix between The Last Stand suit and the Ben Reilly Scarlet Spider suit, and the mask of the Vigilante suit from The Amazing Spider-Man series!

Fate-Be Changed: Glad that you feel so! I wanted to show a different side to Jameson rather than just the angry type!

Marvel Nerd: I actually do lol. Spider-Queen was the one with the mutated Super Soldier Serum, right? As for the organic webbing, I doubt i'll ever be doing it, but never say never!

SpideyXBC: Black Cat will certainly show up later in the season!

Guest: That is a good idea, and is symbolic with the idea of Rebirth that i'm gonna be doing for the season. But i don't think i'll be shaving his head this season haha. Although i might do something similar next season!

redbirds12: Thanks! I'll be exploring the depths of Peter's grief throughout the season. And whoa i can't believe it's been a year since then! Time sure does fly.

Yours Truly,

Shadow Strike.