A/N: Team Roster: Jackson (Cinderace), Hudson (Mudsdale), Rosa (Bellossom), Theodore (Corviknight), Rouge (Weavile)

Chapter 20 - Raihan

Dolly shielded her eyes from the blazing sun outside of Spikemuth. She clutched a Dark Badge in her left hand, and Pip's Poké Ball in her right. It was like the scratch of gravel on the pavement scratched against her ears, and Dolly had to brace herself on the fencing when her shoe caught on the ground. She hung her head, caught her breath, and the tears tapped the dirt beneath her.

She didn't get to know her. Pip was fascinating, strange, and Dolly didn't even get to know her. Instead, she died. Her spunky nature was sucked from the world, all thanks to Dolly. All because she threw out the wrong Poké Ball. She couldn't take care of her Pokémon.

Because she was distracted.

Because she was selfish.

Because she was poison.

The voices of the furious crowds swarmed through her head like Beedrill buzzing as she slowly made her way down the path. She wasn't sure what expression it was that Piers had on his face throughout their battle, either. Despair? Horror? Grief? Nausea? Perhaps all of them. She couldn't tell, it was hard to focus when the neon lights kept flashing. Dolly stumbled every few steps down the Route 9 path, as her eyes stayed closed a second longer every time she blinked. Her head was still pounding, and she could barely lift her feet.

The buzzing in her head was intensifying, as every word that was screamed at her from each angry crowd whipped through her head in a flurry. She was the cause of such anger from the crowd, she was the cause of such conflict in the eyes of the Gym Leaders. Three in a row. Three in a row. Three in a row.

Her body was trembling, her head was pounding, and the buzzing laced itself through her veins as much as it did through her mind. It scratched and clawed at her, pricked and stabbed every bit of her.

A voice cut through the swarm, and the buzzing stopped.

He was talking with a group of other Gym Challengers standing outside of Spikemuth. He was standing tall, smiling as he always had, looking as he always did. He smiled as if nothing had happened, while she barely had the strength to stand.

He glanced up and their eyes met. His smile faded.

The world froze as golden eyes bore into brown. The wind barely blew, yet it was enough to suffocate her. The sun barley shone, yet it was enough to glint against the tears that continued to fall. She could barely move, and yet the buzzing started again. Her shoes scratched the pavement again, and the dark marks of her tears were like a breadcrumb path leading to Hammerlocke.

Perhaps she would drip into the earth, seep between the blades of grass that her shoes dragged through. Perhaps she would slowly melt with each step, slowly bubble away as her poisonous blood burned through her entirely. The truth of his words slithered under her skin with each step, then curled around the proof of the Poké Ball in her right hand. It didn't even take a month this time, this Pokémon died within the day. It was like the mallet of a drum pounded in her head with each step she took. It struck behind her eyes when she coughed out another sob.

"Dolls,"

She turned. She hadn't seeped into the ground yet, though she wanted to. She expected him to walk through her, grimace at what he stepped in, then wipe the remnants of the purple sludge she was into the grass.

"Dolls, look-"

"Please," she whispered. Her voice was as fragile as the will it took to keep the tears from falling again. She couldn't even look at him.

But, she could feel him looking at her. His eyes were too sharp, too bright, as they scanned her face. She could feel him stare at her glassy pink eyes, at the bags underneath them, at her pale skin and quivering lip. She was sure he could see how she was melting into the ground like the poison he so accurately described. When he opened his mouth to speak again, she turned away.

"Please leave me alone."

She hiked her backpack up on her shoulders as she walked into the Route 9 tunnel. It was like whatever was oozing out of her left a trail to him. Every fiber of her body was pulling back to him, longing to turn around, aching to turn around and run to Spikemuth, to run and tell him what happened to Pip, what she did, and to have him hold her against him and tell her everything would be okay.

But he wouldn't.

It was like whatever sludge she was curled around his ankles the farther she stepped, as if longing for him to scoop it up, to help her pull herself back together, all the while smiling that soft smile that was so rare, and seemingly just for her. If he curled his arms around her, rested his head on top of hers, perhaps she would finally be pulled out of the sludge she kept seeping into. She wanted him to stand a hair too close, just as he always had. She wanted to watch as his eyes flit about her face as she talked with him about anything, about nothing. She wanted to let him call her a Feebas or have him let her call him a twit. She wanted to let him sling his arm around her so casually as they walked and enthused about Pokémon battles or Wooloo wool.

But she shouldn't.

It was mind against matter as she crushed the aching in her heart. She needed to think about anything else. Anything else. About the tunnel. About the water. About the grass or the bushes beside her. About the rocks her shoes scratched against. About heated tiles that were warm beneath her feet. About the flickering of the torches. About the twinkling of the fairy lights that hung around the pillars. About the steam of the bath. About how their breath wafted around them in the dark of the night.

Because maybe if she thought about those things instead, she wouldn't want to turn around. She thought about how he said he would keep her safe. She thought about how he said he was going to be there for her.

But he wasn't.

He was preoccupied. He was too busy with that other girl. He would have talked with any other person that wasn't her, he would have spent time with any other girl but her. That was probably what he did. He probably spent the night with that beautiful girl. They were laughing and looking at each other and holding hands and talking about everything and nothing, about Pokémon battles and Wooloo wool. He probably curled his arms around her, probably rested his head on top of hers. Of course he was looking at that other girl, she was so much more beautiful than Dolly was. He thought Dolly was ugly. He had never called her beautiful before, because she wasn't. He had called her a Feebas a thousand times because that was what she looked like. She was the perfect comparison to the ugliest Pokémon in the world. She was ugly and scrawny and scarred and-

She felt a buzz from her pocket. When Dolly read the text, she froze.

Hey beautiful

Been thinking about you a lot

Another chat bubble appeared.

You close to Hammerlocke? Care to see your favorite Gym Leader?

Dolly stared at her phone in her hands.

...Beautiful?

~later~

Dolly glared at her reflection in the mirror. Perhaps she could blink away that glassy sheen of her eyes. She had asked Rouge to do her makeup for her again, although she didn't tell her why. When she asked Rouge how she looked, her Weavile had let out a sigh and said 'sad, but with makeup on.'

She was showered, at least, and her hair smelled like the flowery shampoo the Hammerlocke hotel provided. The warm water perked her up a bit, too, though she still had to focus on walking so she didn't run into things. The bags under her eyes were concealed, though she could still see the dark rings if she squinted. She heaved out a sigh, blinking back the tears and the looming headache as she tore her eyes from the mirror. She gathered her things and made her way down to the hotel lobby. As she stepped across the tiles, she overheard her name, and glanced to its source.

"And what about Challenger Dolly? Any opinions on her?"

Two tinny voices spoke from a lobby television. Dolly took a seat in one of the chairs as her picture appeared on the side of the screen between the two talk show hosts. Although Dolly had vowed not to watch any of these rubbish shows and interviews about her, her curiosity seemed to always get the best of her.

"Well, she is certainly catching the attention of much of Galar," a woman said. She was sitting on a bright red couch, and the over-saturated settings of the television burned Dolly's eyes. "She is the most high-risk, high-reward Challenger to root for. She's got a strong team, so it's easy to root for her in that sense, but-"

"But that Nuzlocke Curse, huh?" the male beside her continued. He wore a bright red suit jacket, which also made Dolly's eyes hurt. He almost blended into the couch behind him.

"Exactly that," the woman continued. "A little embarrassing to see your favorite Gym Challenger kill one of her Pokémon after you enthuse about how great she is,"

Dolly's face curled in disgust.

"She's controversial," the man continued. "But that's what makes it so fun to follow her around, right?"

They both laughed a plastic laugh.

"After losing a Pokémon to Piers, she's up to face Gym Leader Raihan soon."

Suddenly the woman tittered again.

"Now, talk about controversy! Poke-media was blowing up when our studly Dragon Gym Leader posted a pic of the two of them last night at Circhester's Hero's Bath festival,"

"The water wasn't the only thing that was steamy," the man laughed. Suddenly her and Raihan's picture replaced the one on the screen. "There certainly weren't any Gym Challenge uniforms in this picture, huh?"

"I'll say, a Leader and a Challenger? That just screams scandal. Die-hard Raihan fans weren't too happy about it, many of them asking 'how much more attention does this Challenger need?'"

"And also asking, are her battles what they look like, or is Challenger 052 finding other ways to get her Badges?"

Suddenly a video clip started to play. There she was on the oversaturated screen, flipping her hair, batting her eyelashes, pawing at Raihan. She watched Raihan lean in and her heart kicked. Is that really what they looked like? She really did seem so small compared to him. She watched as Raihan lifted her up onto his lap. As soon as he trailed his fingers up her thigh, the shot froze, zoomed in, and the host waved at her face with her hand.

"I don't know how Dolly was able to keep her composure like that, looks like our Gym Leader Raihan wants a taste! Let's hear what our viewers have to say."

Dolly squinted her eyes as the camera panned to the talk-show audience and a woman who was standing with her hand on her hip. The tinny sound of the television crinkled in Dolly's ears when the woman snapped her gum on the screen.

"Like, yah I was mad when I saw that video, I mean look at her, crawling all over him like that! She's got like, no shame."

The camera flipped back to the two hosts.

"You've got to admit, they look good together though, huh?" the man grinned.

Something tightened low in her stomach as she looked at the two of them on the screen.

"Yeah see I just want to know when she'll drop out, I mean why hasn't she been disqualified?" the audience member continued. "If she keeps up her streak of losing one Pokémon per Gym Leader this will be number fou-"

Dolly stood with a huff. Rubbish talk shows, they don't know anything anyway, besides where to get bad lip injections. She wasn't cheating her way through the Gym Challenge. Disgust and shame curled in her throat for not realizing there was probably someone recording her and Raihan that night. She was a magnet for scandal and media attention, she should have known better. Idiot.

She stepped out of the lobby, shaking her head as if to shake out the image of that video. Ever since Raihan touched her, it was getting harder to ignore the thoughts of him and the memories on her skin, on her back, on her legs. Even watching that video of the two of them was making it harder to quell the desire for his fingers to trail up her thigh like that again.

The sun warmed the streets of Hammerlocke, glinting over the pedestrians bustling about. It even blazed over Dolly, though she wished it weren't. The bright light made her head hurt. As she stepped down the street, Dolly tried to think about anything else, but it was becoming harder and harder to deflect the thoughts of Raihan's touch; his fingers grazing up her spine, trailing up her thigh, his lips so close to her ear when he would whisper to her. They clung to her as if he were a spider web she walked through. She tried shaking him off as much as she could, but every once in a while, she still felt a tingling on her skin.

She needed a distraction, and she was still early anyway. Perhaps she could talk with Hudson, Theodore, and Rouge about their upcoming battle tactics, since they would be the main trio for her battle against Raihan. When she reached the park, she tossed out her three partners. As soon as she did, they gazed at her with worried eyes.

"Have you not yet slept, my Lady?" Theodore sighed. "You said you would after you bested Gym Leader Piers, then you said you would after we said our final goodbyes to Pip, then you said you would when we got to the hotel. And here we are."

Dolly bit her lip and scuffed at the ground with her shoe.

"I took a shower and that helped a little."

"That's not the same, Dolly," Hudson sighed. "What's going on? You haven't been yourself lately."

"Nothing, I'm fine guys, really."

"You keep saying that, and yet nothing seems fine," Hudson said. "Are you still upset about Sap? I told you she loved you more than anything, she said you always knew what she needed even if you listened to her differently than I did,"

Dolly heaved out a sigh and held her head in her hands. Her mascara was already smearing on her palms.

"Dolly," Rouge started. "You almost killed me."

"Don't make her feel worse, Rouge," Hudson said.

"No, she needs to hear it," Rouge continued. "That Scrafty was a maniac, and it's one attack almost killed me. Since it wasn't me, it was Pip. I'm not battling anything, and I'm not letting anyone else battle anything, until you sleep."

"Are you going to leave?" Dolly asked quietly. "You're all going to leave me, aren't you? You all think I'm poison too, don't you?"

Rouge sighed and rubbed over her face.

"That's not what I said, Dolly. I said none of us are battling until you're in a coherent state of mind. You're normally a clever girl, and an excellent Trainer, but Hudson's right. You're not yourself lately, and you're not making good choices."

Rouge's gaze flicked behind Dolly. Theodore's feathers started to ruffle, and Dolly turned.

"Hey Dolly," Raihan grinned as the sun shone behind his head.

Immediately her heart fluttered as she tripped to face him fully.

"Hi Raihan," she said feebly.

"You look beautiful, as always."

"Who the hell is this guy?" Rouge spat.

"He's... a friend."

"Not sure I like how he's looking at you," Hudson said as he took a step forward.

"Nor I," Theodore agreed, ruffling his feathers. "We Corviknight oft have keen insight to the intent of men and he-"

"We're friends," Dolly laughed nervously.

Her eyes flitted to Raihan's, hoping he wouldn't understand what their conversation was about. Her mind kept flashing to his hands, to his lips, and all of it was quickly becoming confusing. She felt nervous with him there, but she also didn't want him to leave.

"No, you're friends with Sonia, or Leon, or really anyone that isn't this guy. Go hang out with one of them," Hudson said, moving around Dolly so he was standing between her and Raihan.

"Your Mudsdale doesn't like me, does he?" Raihan said as he stared back into Hudson's eyes.

"Oh, he's just a little protective is all," she laughed nervously as she tried to clamber between the bodies of her two largest Pokémon. Without much luck, however, as Theodore swooped his wing out and pulled her back.

"I can't blame him. After looking how you did last night at the festival you've probably got men all over you," Raihan said. He took a step forward and leaned his head towards hers. "I certainly know I was thinking about you all night."

Dolly's cheeks burned as he bit his lip. Rouge's jaw dropped, Hudson stomped toward him, and Theodore puffed up his feathers.

"Dolly, you can't be serious?!" Rouge asked incredulously.

"He's a skirt chaser!" Theodore cawed. "A philanderer! A-"

Dolly scrambled to return them to their Poké Balls as Theodore let out another frustrated caw. She tucked a hair behind her ear and shoved down the guilt that was already bubbling in her throat. She let out a nervous laugh.

"Sorry about them,"

"I'm mainly curious to see you so red," Raihan shrugged. "So, you ready? I've already got a good spot picked out for us, cute coffee shop that you'd look great in."

She nodded and fell into step with him as they started down the road.

It didn't take long before they made it to the coffee shop storefront, and Dolly continuously pushed away the images of her Pokémon's faces. Raihan held the door for her as the sweet smell of whipped cream and chocolate wafted through the air. She waited patiently as a few fans of Raihan's squealed and asked for pictures, turned away when they glared at her, and she let her eyes close for just a few seconds. Raihan had to call her name twice before her eyes shot open.

As they finally stepped in line, Dolly peered over the menu. Her mind flashed to the last time she was in a little restaurant, then she vaguely wondered what someone else may have ordered from this menu - probably something ridiculously sweet, and he wouldn't be able to finish it all. He'd save the cherry for her, but she would try to refuse since he loved cherries, but he would give it back because she loved cherries too. Dolly shook the thought out of her head. She then tried to ask - as discreetly as she could - what type of coffee tasted the most like chocolate milk, and Raihan said she could just, like, get chocolate milk. Then he said it was adorable that she liked chocolate milk. He looked at her and said he liked hot chocolate - he liked licking off the whipped cream.

They took their seats and eased into conversation again, and Dolly was continuously attempting to hold back the yawns that kept threatening to escape. Thankfully, Raihan was a natural conversationalist, so it wasn't challenging to keep her interested. And, those bright blue eyes and handsome face certainly helped, too. When he teased her again about her drink preferences, they chatted a bit more about food they liked. Turned out, Raihan loved cooking, and was often eager to learn new recipes. Even throughout discussing some of her curry mishaps, Dolly thought back to when she tried to make curry in the Glimwood Tangle. Then, she thought about how comfortable she was that night, and what easy sleep she had in that forest, and again, she shook the memory of his smile out of her head. She bit back a yawn, they finished their drinks, chatted for a bit longer, then headed back out into the bright sunshine of Hammerlocke.

"Yep, I was right," Raihan said as he casually strolled forward.

"Hm?"

"You did look great in that coffee shop."

Dolly laughed and rolled her eyes, but she winced when the sun shot into them. She rubbed at her temple as they continued down the street. After a moment she turned again.

"But, um, thank you for this, Raihan."

He grinned and waved a hand at her.

"Taking a beautiful girl out? I should be thanking you."

Dolly paused as the word repeated in her mind. She bit her lip, fiddled with the zipper on her jacket, then hesitantly met his eye.

"And I was… I was wondering. Do you, um… want to come to my hotel with me?"

Raihan raised an eyebrow.

"I-I mean I've got a book of recipes I keep, if you'd like to see them," she said. "You said you liked cooking."

"I think I would like nothing more," Raihan said.

They made their way through Hammerlocke, and the tension was rising in her shoulders as Raihan walked beside her. She glanced at his hands hanging loosely beside him, and her mind flashed back to how her body shivered when his fingers trailed over her in Circhester. She shook the thought from her head as she watched a dog walker ahead of them struggle to keep his rambunctious Yampers settled. They bounded around playfully, about ten of them tugging at their leashes.

"That guy's awfully ambitious," Dolly laughed, pointing Raihan to the man tugging at all of his leashes. Raihan laughed too as he locked his hands behind his head.

"I've seen that guy around before, normally he does a pretty good job keeping them all under control - maybe it's the weather or something that's making them so crazy today."

As if on cue, the Yampers looked their way, and Dolly made eye contact with a few of them.

"Um, hi."

Suddenly they froze, then in one mass all bounded to her, twenty little legs scampering at her full speed.

"Hey! Hey what's your name?!" one asked as it jumped up at her legs.

"You wanna play?"

"Yeah, yeah! Play with us!"

"You smell like sunshine!"

"Pet me, hey not them, pet me!"

The Yampers bounded around her, tangling her legs in their leashes. She did her best to abide by their requests, but their consistent yapping was quickly becoming overwhelming. Their barking shot into her ears and made her headache throb.

"Sorry, sorry!" the dog walker called as he tried to arrange the Yampers. "They're normally much better behaved!"

"No, you're fine!" she said, trying to push away the Yampers that were jumping at her. He tugged on one of the leashes that was wrapped around her ankle and Dolly tripped backwards.

She expected to fall onto the hard ground, or onto a group of Yampers, but Raihan quickly moved forward and caught her under her arms. He swiftly scooped her up as she kicked the leashes off her legs.

"Got them all settled?" Raihan asked the dog walker. He nodded apologetically and tugged the Yampers away from the two. Raihan looked to Dolly, and his bright blue eyes pierced into hers as he grinned toothily. "They certainly wanted to pay you a bit of attention, hm, Challenger Dolly?"

"I can't blame them," she joked, tossing her hair behind her.

"I'll say," Raihan said gravelly. As his voice rumbled against her, Dolly was more acutely aware of his hands wrapped around her. He started walking again down the street.

"H-hey, you know you can put me down anytime," she stuttered as her legs dangled when they walked through the town. She had to clutch at his shoulders to keep her balance.

"Nah, we can get to the hotel much faster if I don't have to wait for your little legs to catch up,"

"Look I know I'm not that short, you're just a billion feet tall," she mumbled. She glanced around, and saw a few pedestrians chuckling as they watched their Gym Leader carry Dolly through the streets of Hammerlocke. "Raihan, people are staring,"

"I can't blame them," he said as he flashed his crooked grin.

"Cut it out," she grumbled as the heat flared in her cheeks.

"Your face is pretty red there, Dolly," he laughed. Then, his voice quieted. "Does being this close to me make you nervous?"

"N-no," she lied. "It's just a little overwhelming to be manhandled in public."

His eyelids lowered as he adjusted her in his arms.

"Would you rather it be in private?" he purred.

Dolly's eyes widened at the implication of his question. When he was holding her like that, looking at her like that, did she even want to say no? He probably didn't mean it like that anyway, right?

Right...?

"Um..."

"Oh alright, I'll put you down," he said as he lightly set her on her feet. She brushed off her skirt.

They made it back to Dolly's hotel and the tension knotted into her back the entire walk there. It seeped into the rest of her body as Raihan stepped into her room behind her. Well, she supposed he wouldn't just wait in the lobby for her or anything, that'd be kind of weird, right?

Her train of thought broke when she heard the click of the lock.

Perhaps he often had fans trailing him who would burst into his hotel rooms. That must be it. Her heart was beating harder as she met his eyes. She swallowed past the knot in her throat and made her way towards her bag. She pulled out her recipe journal she was keeping from traveling, and Raihan stood beside her with a smile.

Dolly began to relax as she flipped through the pages, pointing out the different flavors and ingredients she liked to use. Raihan offered recommendations for future ingredient combinations, though it was getting a little challenging to focus, as he kept inching toward her every time she flipped a page. Every so often his hand would graze over hers, and her heart rate would spike again.

She flipped the page again, then mentioned how whenever she tried to eat anything in the Dusty Bowl in the Wild Area, everything just tasted like sand. That led them to a discussion on Raihan's battle tactics and what spurred his fondness for manipulating the weather. That tactic was clever and distracting, just as Raihan was, especially when he peeled off his sweatshirt. He grinned when her eyes widened, watching as her gaze lingered an extra second.

"W-well, all this talking about sand has made me thirsty," she joked as she tucked a strand of hair behind her ear.

She stepped into the bathroom and filled up one of the paper cups the hotel provided. She double-checked her appearance in the mirror, brushed down her shirt, and combed through her hair with her fingers. Her makeup was still intact, though the bags under her eyes were more significant. She wondered if Raihan noticed. He hadn't commented on that yet, or how she kept trying not to yawn. She stepped back into the main room and over to the nightstand.

Raihan was still flipping through the pages of her book, though now, a few buttons of his shirt were undone. Was he hot? She supposed it was a little hot in there. Something was different in the way he was looking at her, and his previous crooked grin was gone. She tried to avert her eyes from his arms, from his chest peeking through those undone buttons, and tried to shake the image out and not let it burn into her imagination for later. The room was dimmer, as now only the bedside lamp was on. Seemed like he drew the curtains closed, too. Perhaps that was common to do when one left Hammerlocke hotels...?

"So earlier, you said you didn't want to be 'manhandled' in public," Raihan said quietly as he turned and walked towards her.

That was probably a pretty common preference.

"Um, yeah, I guess so," Dolly muttered.

She tried to look into his eyes when he spoke, but they were drawn to his chest, drawn to his arms, drawn to his lips as he stopped only inches away.

He stepped forward, Dolly stepped back, and the back of her legs pushed against the covers of the bed. The soft fabric beneath her seemed too delicate for how his bright blue eyes pierced into hers, it seemed to gentle for how hard her heart was beating when Raihan set one of his knees beside her hip. Her pulse was beating wildly at his proximity, as his scent and features and gaze overwhelmed her senses when he set his hands on either side of her.

"Is this better?" he whispered. "No one around now."

Dolly stared at him wide-eyed as he slowly undid the rest of the buttons on his shirt. She swallowed hard as her eyes devoured every inch of his chiseled bare torso when he shook his shirt off completely. He reached forward and unzipped her jacket, slid it off her shoulders, and tossed it to the floor. She didn't really mind - it was getting a little hot in there.

That heat seemed to magnify as darkness enfolded the room when he flicked off the final light. Raihan looked down at her again and it was like his eyes were almost glowing in the dark of the room. He leaned forward slowly, Dolly leaned back, and settled into the middle of the bed. He never once broke eye contact, and her gaze was latched to his as he crawled over her.

His body took up almost all of her line of vision as he reached and took her hands in his. Her fingers trembled when he pinned her wrists onto the sheets above her head with his one hand, but she would be lying if she said she didn't like the way he was looking at her, lying if she said she hadn't been attracted to him since the moment she saw him.

"I've been waiting for this for so long, especially since seeing you like that last night in the Hero's Bath," he growled as he leaned in. "Acting like that, wearing next to nothing…"

Her breath hitched when he bit her collarbone.

"Didn't know you were such a tease," he growled into her skin. "All over me one second…"

He bit a sensitive spot on her neck and her back arched at the pressure, though she was unable to touch him in return as he pinned her hands down.

"...then acting like it never happened the next."

Her eyes fluttered closed as he smirked against her neck, her hands still trembling under his grip. Her movements were slowed as her eyebrows pulled together, and she could only focus on one thing at a time. She could only focus on how Raihan kissed the marks he left, or how his lips trailed up her throat. Dolly could barely open her eyes as he straddled her hips and pressed her harder into the covers.

...But she couldn't, she shouldn't, right? He was a Gym Leader, and she a Gym Challenger. Was it appropriate? She didn't need any more publicity, that was for certain.

But that was half of the allure as his tongue slid over her neck, or as he nipped again at her skin. The rebellion, the danger, disobeying the exact warning Hudson, Theodore, and even Leon had all given her to stay away from him - all of it only added to the intensity of how he felt when he pressed against her.

His body in the dark of the room, craving her, wanting her - she didn't know what it meant to mess around, but if this was it, she liked it. She liked the tingle of her nerves as his breath hit her. She liked the feeling of his fangs dragging along her skin as he tilted his head to kiss her throat, her neck, under her jaw. She liked the animalistic touch she unconsciously knew he was hungry for since they met. She secretly liked the glances to her hips, to her mouth, every moment they spent together. This entire time she wanted him to want her. She wanted to be the focus of that hunger, that attention, to finally be looked at like she wasn't an ugly freak whom the whole country hated.

Finally, he pressed his lips against hers, and Dolly felt those cravings as he kissed her. She tried to kiss him just as hard, tried to feel that desire she so longed for. He drew out a groan from her when he playfully bit her lip, and his fangs poked into her sensitive skin. He grinned against her mouth, and then did it again.

He was rough, but she didn't mind. Her heart beat faster as his other hand carefully slid under her shirt, just enough to make her gasp. Raihan grinned, and his hand continued up to hold her waist. His constant comments, his relentless flirting; she could feel it in his fingers when they pressed into her waist as he kissed her harder. When they finally broke apart her breath was coming out in short, ragged huffs.

Maybe if he kissed her even harder, she would feel beautiful. Maybe if his hands explored all over, she would feel loved. He kissed her, touched her, released her hands and let her touch him in return. She was searching for it, trying to find it, clutching at his shoulders and in his hair. Her lips and skin were raw, but that something still wasn't satiated. Raihan grinned toothily as his eyes flickered to hers again.

Then, she realized they weren't golden. Long, dark eyelashes didn't frame his eyes like she expected when she looked up.

No. No, no this wasn't right. Something about this didn't feel right.

Her brow furrowed and Raihan paused.

"Raihan… I want to stop."

This wasn't as fulfilling as she thought it would be. She thought her insecurities would melt away, pushed out by the pressure of his hands or his kiss. But they weren't. They still sat in her skin. She even felt dirtier for using him for it. Raihan sat up and heaved out a sigh.

"Not fun if you don't want it too," he muttered.

Dolly took in a breath as Raihan opened the curtains again, flicked on the light, and her heart was still beating in her ears.

Then, she let out a sigh of relief. No, this wasn't as fulfilling as she thought it would be. She thought she would feel loved, she thought she would feel safe. But she didn't. She just felt like she was kissing an attractive man whom none of her friends trusted.

That little bit of resistance, that little bit of self-care, that quiet 'no': all of those helped that little bit of self-love blossom an inch higher.

Dolly squeezed her eyes closed when the lights flicked on. She was grateful for his self-control, no matter how begrudging. Although he teased her for her size, she wasn't sure she would have been able to get away had he been someone less noble. Leon was right about everything - Raihan was a good man, if not a little salacious. Leave it to pseudo-older brothers to know everything...

She wanted to not be alone with Raihan as quickly as possible, as the tension in the air was thick. Perhaps she could let a bit of it out into the hallway. Dolly struggled to untangle herself from the covers and stumbled to the door. When she opened it, she stopped in her tracks.

His fist was raised for a knock, and she stared into his red and puffy eyes for another second.

"Dolls," he finally breathed out. "You're actually here. Look, I know you told me to leave you alone, but I really need to talk to you, please, just one minute. Everything I said, I'm so -"

Suddenly she felt Raihan standing behind her. He lifted his arm above her head to rest on the door jam.

"Hey, Leon's little brother."

He froze. Then, his eyes flitted from Dolly's flushed face to Raihan's, to their clothes on the ground behind them. He watched as Raihan wiped his mouth, watched as Dolly adjusted her shirt, then his eyes finally settled on the marks riddling her skin. He let out half a breath as the realization dawned on his face.

And again, something in his eyes broke.

Dolly's heart shattered as he tore his eyes from them and turned. Before she could reach out to him, he was gone.