"What color should I use for my next note?"

...

"I used dandelion last time, it's my favorite."

...

"Yeah, I know I could use the same one, but that would be boring. Besides, I think I need something that contrasts with the paper a bit more than yellow to get the readers' attention."

...

"That was your cue to give your opinion."

...

"Fine. Be the most boring person in the universe. See if I care."

That was how each and every one of the conversations with my new party member had gone. For the past few rooms now he'd followed me, never straying too far away. Like the nice person I am, I'd tried multiple times to start a conversation. Y'know, break the ice, have a laugh, do what you do when you meet a new person. But all he'd do was stare at me, judging. Or at least I think so, it's hard to tell when your companion's just a skull with empty eye sockets. But also, he just seemed like the judging type. His presence was admittedly a little intimidating at first, but after about three rooms or so I started getting used to him.

Though now I think my last comment offended him, because his eye sockets looked a bit darker. Still, there was no way I was surrendering to something without an entire body, so I stared right back. "You're just mad because it's true and you know it." And wouldn't ya know, he backed down after that. Pathetic.

"Well, since you refuse to help me, I guess I'll just pick out a color myself than. How about..." I shuffle through my many many crayons, looking for just the right one. I really should try to organize these more, I can barely find what I'm looking fo-"Ahah!" I shout with glee as I find what I'm looking for. "Big dip o'ruby! A lovely shade of red! It's perfect, don't you think?"

...

"...Why am I not surprised? Well just uh ... float there and I'll uh, be done in a sec. Sound good? Yes? Awesome!"

Dear Fellow Adventurer,

So as you read from my prior note, I survived the endless hallway. Said hallway turned out to be the home of a floating red skull made of clay. We got off to a rocky start, but he's been following me for the passed few rooms and he's pretty good company. But his appearance set my expectations on what this place really is all about, and since I'm so nice, I shall enlighten you as well.

This is no funhouse, people come in here and don't come out for a reason. There are more creepy crawlies lurking in these rooms, I just know it. So stay on your guard and be prepared to run. Or fight. Or sing The Star Spangled Banner. Whatever the situation calls for.

Zoe

When I was done writing my note, I turned the paper over and colored a picture like last time. This time, I drew the clay skull, much to his bemusement (I think?). I don't want to leave it on the floor as the next person that comes through could step on it, so I instead tape it to the next cutout that pops out at me, which just so happens to be a quite unhappy looking piece of toast. "Hopefully knowing that you are now my official messenger will cheer you up, toasty boy. Or girl ... enbie? Who am I to assume the gender of cardboard bread? Is that why you're so unhappy, you're not real bread? Look on the bright side Wheaty, at least no one will eat you."" I say as I finish attaching the note/picture and give the cutout a hug. Skull Guy seems puzzled and a bit annoyed by this, but I just smile and shrug at him and continue onward.

"Y'know," I begin, still not giving up on the whole conversation thing. Even if this guy never talks back, it's still better than talking to myself. "As freaky as this is, I'm also sorta excited. Sure I'm quite possibly in mortal danger, and lord help me when Mom finds out what I'm doing, but ghosts exist! You exist! That means that supernatural stuff is real! I knew it! I can't wait to tell everybod-oh! Ewww!"

My foot sinks into something cool and wet. I look down to see my toes are covered in a thick green goop. "Yuck! The heck is this crap?" I wrinkle my nose and step out of the puddle.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not one of those girls who runs screaming whenever they see a bug, (unless it's a wasp) but anyone would be a bit concerned when they accidentally expose their bare skin to unidentified green slime. It oozes out from between my toes like syrup when I manage to get my foot out of it, and squelches disgustingly whenever I take a step.

"I'm starting to think that maybe going barefoot wasn't such a good idea after all." My companion says nothing as usual, but that's the least of my worries at the moment. I plop down on a slime-free spot on the floor, and unzip my backpack, taking out the box of baby wipes I'd packed for a situation like this. Thankfully my skin isn't damaged in any way, and the slime comes off relatively easily. "Ugh it's on my overalls too!" I wine, attempting to clean them as well. It doesn't come off nearly as easily as my foot, but I'll just have to deal with it for now. Once I'm done, I wad the now green-streaked wipe into a tight ball then toss it into the puddle, where it drifts to the center like the yolk of an egg that was just cracked into the pan. I stand up and roll my overalls up to my knees. Knowing my luck, I'll probably encounter more of these gross puddles, and didn't want to deal with more gunk on me than I had to.

I was just about to write a note about my gooey misfortune, but noticed that someone had beat me to it. they had written their letter in red too, but it wasn't quite the same shade as Big Dip O'ruby. "Ooh, a poem!" I say excitedly as I skim over the short note. "Want me to read it out loud?"

"I'll take that as a yes. Eh-eh-ahem!"

Spouting, Splashing, Soaking.

Innards, Injest, Invoking.

Nailing, Never stops, the Choking

"Wow, that's really cree-"

I never finished that sentence, for a loud echoing wheeze like someone having a seriously bad asthma attack sounded from behind me. Skull Guy and I both turn, to see ... something ... I don't even know ...

He was humanoid, and looked to be made completely out of the slime I'd stepped in a few seconds ago. Most of him was solid but some of him looked to be thinner and wetter like jello. He had no legs, and one of his hands was missing, his arm simply ending in a stump below the wrist. His other hand was raised like he expected me to give him a high five, but that didn't seem like the best idea seeing as his fingers were tipped in nasty-looking claws. He had no face, no eyes or nose, save for a gaping hole filled with fangs that kind of resembled a mouth. Ribs and collarbones jutted out of his oozing body. did he used to be a human? did he write that creepy poem as he underwent a horrendous transformation? If so, who did this to him? Spooky? She did seem a bit rough around the edges when I met her, but surely she wouldn't go this far! ... Would she?

I didn't have much time to think about this though, because even though Goopboy moved slow, it didn't take a rocket scientist to know he was out for my blood. He wanted to splatter it on himself so he'd be painted in Christmas colors. Wow, that was graphic of me, sorry about that. Point is, this guy was not nice and I doubted playing dumb would work like it did on Skull Guy. I had to run.

All the rooms after that were narrow hallways, filled with more of those stupid puddles. I found that a bit weird, since Goopboy was behind me and thus couldn't be making the puddles at that point. Course, he could have passed through the area before ... but then how did he appear from the door I

d just came through? So many questions, and no answers!

I was trudging through my fourth mini slime swamp, when I came to an epiphany. It made me feel a bit stupid though, since in my opinion it shouldn't be an epiphany. Why the heck am I walking through the puddles when I can just jump over them? The thought hit me like a lightning bolt, and I slapped my slightly sweaty forehead before leaping from the muck like a playful dolphin. I repeat the process for the next puddle, and the next, and the next.

Seeing that his prey was getting away rapidly despite his efforts to slow it down, Goopboy let out a raspy shriek. It hurt my ears, but did nothing to slow me down.

"So long, Goopboy!" I singsong,

Before long, Skull Guy and I had left the ghastly goopy ghost in the dust.

A/N: I had a lot of fun writing this chapter, and I hope you have fun reading it. One more thing before you go, if my self-insert OC becomes too much of a Mary Sue, it's mostly so I don't accidentally say something I'd rather not share. I'm trying my best to avoide it, but let's face it. If you were to write a self-insert fic you'd probably do the same thing, either purposefully or without realizing. It's just so hard to resist sometimes...