Trigger warning: disturbing harmful image, possible self harm/suicide trigger
Dean rolled over, blinking in the sunshine that came through the blinds, and checked the clock. It was 1:30 in the afternoon. He pushed himself off the edge of the bed before he noticed Sam sitting at the table.
"What the hell, man?" he said. "Why'd you let me sleep so long?"
Sam glanced up from his laptop. "There's no hurry," he replied.
"Dammit, Sam."
"Shut up Dean."
Dean rolled his eyes and walked over to get a piece of cold pizza from the fridge.
"I found us a case," Sam said. "Huntsville Alabama."
"Yeah? Let's get packed."
"Already done." Sam gestured toward the door where a pile of bags lay.
"Well, let's roll then," Dean said. It took them only a few minutes to pack the Impala and drive away.
By the time they got into Huntsville, it was far too late to start investigating. They booked a room and got Chinese takeout, both of them planting at the table in their room and researching on their laptops. They stayed there for hours until it was 11:30, and Sam stretched and said he was going to bed.
"You going to sleep soon?" he asked Dean.
"Yeah, soon."
"Okay. Goodnight."
"Night, Sammy." Dean glanced at the time and opened another beer.
When Sam woke up at 3 in the morning, he saw Dean, wide eyed and watching some dumb soap opera on the tv. Dean noticed Sam as he rolled over and he sighed.
"I'm not gonna get away with not talking about it, am I," he said flatly. He yawned and muted the tv.
"What the hell, man," Sam said. "I thought you were going to sleep."
"I only need four hours."
"Dean. You're exhausted. Tell me what's going on."
"No, dammit, I don't want to bitch about my problems with you. Just go back to bed."
"Not going to happen."
"See, this. This is why I didn't want to tell you in the first place," Dean said, getting more irritated.
"What, so you could shut me out? Am I that annoying to you?"
"Hell no, Sam. But I knew you were going to get all therapist on me and try to fix this, when maybe there's nothing to fix. Maybe it's just me, and I just have to live with it, and I'm cool with that. But now you're going to worry about me all the time and it's gonna make it harder on both of us."
"You think I wasn't already worried, Dean?" Sam asked quietly. "I always worry about you. Shutting me out is never going to change that, but it is going to make it harder for me to help."
"You can't help."
"What?"
"You can't help, Sam, it's just the way things are. It's just the way I am. I'm broken. That's something no one can fix."
Sam shook his head. "Screw that," he said. He stood up and walked into the kitchen area, and Dean, thinking the conversation was over, unmuted the tv. After a few minutes Sam came back with a steaming mug in his hands; he shut off the tv and handed the mug to Dean.
"I think there's something more going on than just nightmares. But until I can figure that out, you still need to sleep. That should help," Sam said.
"It's more tea, isn't it." Dean sniffed and wrinkled his nose.
"Just trust me." Sam walked into the bathroom and closed the door, and Dean heard the shower start running. After the tea cooled down he drank it to the bottom of the mug, and sure enough he crawled over into his bed and fell deeply asleep.
That didn't stop the nightmares.
Sam was standing in front of him in a motel room, his brother a young teen again, with that same innocent look he'd managed to hold onto for years despite the horrors of the world. Dean was drying his hands with a towel. Sam stepped forward, taking his hand… "Hey, Dean," he whispered. "You deserve this." He pulled out a pair of scissors from behind his back and sliced Dean's bare right arm from his inner elbow to his wrist, and the blood began pouring. Dean gasped. Sam just stared.
As Sam walked out of the bathroom, he smiled to see his brother asleep on the bed. He turned to go back, but something shimmered just outside his vision, and he shifted to look more directly at Dean outside the shine of the bathroom light. There was a silvery shimmer hanging in the air around Dean. Sam squinted and took a step closer, and suddenly it flickered into his vision clearly: a shimmering spirit with a nightmarish face was sitting on the bed next to his brother, stroking his hair.