Disclaimer: X-Men is owned by Marvel, Disney, I think Fox and probably other people I do not know about. I do not own it and am writing this just for fun.

All rights and thanks go to the creator or creators of the Kiss Meme. Thanks for the challenge.

Many thanks also to Spamberguesa for their wonderful story, Alternity that introduced me to this couple. Any one over the age of 18 should totally give it a try.

Kitty and Erik: Kiss on the Nose

"Maps should not be this much trouble."

Kitty Pryde glared up at the man carrying her in his arms through red rimmed eyes and grumbled. "Humans should not be referred to as maps."

"Mutants."

"What?"

"You are a mutant, not a human."

"And you are a donkey's behind. But it doesn't have much bearing on our problem, does it?"

"Ah, have you decided that you getting a fever is somehow my fault, your ladyship?" The mocking way he said ladyship put her teeth on edge and Kitty wished yet again that she was feeling strong enough to hit him.

"Well, you did put me in the brig."

"You refused to cooperate."

"Oddly enough, people have a tendency to do that when they are kidnapped off their boats."

"'Ship,' and all you had to do was come willingly."

"Oh yes, I see now that I should have totally fallen helplessly into your arms. You being a tall, handsome, wicked, pirate captain and me being a delicate noble. Tell me truthfully, you read trashy French novels for fun, don't you?"

"I'm handsome now, am I?"

Sigh.

"It's like talking to a duck. Nothing goes in but a lot of quacks come out."

Kitty's body was jostled slightly from the laugh that Erik suppressed but he gave no verbal reply to her sarcastic comment for they had reached their destination.

"Why are we at your cabin?"

Setting her down on the bed and placing a hand on her shoulder to steady her as she swayed, Erik replied. "Because this is where the bath tub is."

"So you're leaving me alone in your room? Brave."

"When did I say I was going to be leaving?"

"But... You're going to watch me take a bath! You know of all the things I've thought of you, being a pervert wasn't one of them."

The glare he shot her could have melted steel but all he said was. "I'll grant you a leave on that little comment on account of your fever. I would have had Raven help you but I seem to be the only one capable of keeping you from phasing through everything when you are sick, so you are stuck with me."

Cursing her traitorous body, Kitty scowled up at him and growled. " I am keeping my night dress on."

"Please do. I have no desire to see any more of your curve-less form than I have to."

A wordless yowl/growl was all Kitty could manage to get out in response to this dry statement, promising herself that she would make him pay for it if it was the last thing she did.

While they had been chatting Erik had used his powers to move the metal tub to the center of the room, keeping one hand on Kitty's shoulder as he did so since the second he had removed it she had begun to phase through the bed, he carefully tipped buckets full of cold water into it after having done so. When it was suitably filled, he lifted Kitty back up into his arms and without a word of warning set her in it.

A decision he quickly regretted as the second her fevered form hit the cold water she did her level best to live up to her name by trying to claw her way up him and out of the tub.

"COLD, COLD, TOO BLASTED COLD! Are you trying to kill me?! Let me out! Let me out!"

This litany of words tumbled out of Kitty's mouth as she phased her lower half so that she could not feel the water while the upper half clung to Erik like a leech.

Letting out a sigh, he shifted Kitty so he could reach his boots, (Not an easy task by any means) and after having pulled them off he quite promptly lowered himself into the tub.

Wrapping himself around her caused Kitty's body to phase back in and she gave him a pathetic look as he summoned a metal pitcher, scooped up some of the water and poured it over her head.

"I really don't like you."

Erik merely hummed and, taking a wash cloth in hand, began to wipe down her neck and arms.

These motions so soothed her that Kitty eventually fell asleep, her head coming to a rest on Erik's shoulder.

When she awoke she was still sitting in Erik's lap and was still quite damp but she was no longer sitting in the freezing cold bath water.

She was also no longer addle headed from the fever though, as the memories of what she said came flooding back to her, she rather wished she were.

Burying her face in her hands, Kitty mumbled into them. "Please tell me I didn't actually call you a pervert?"

"It was a very enlightening conversation that we had."

"I was sick with fever. Did you call me a map?"

"You are a map."

"And you are a ..."

"What kind of noble woman uses that type of language?"

"The type, when having been released from her captivity, finds her way back to the idiot pirate captain who did not explain why he needed her in the first place and can easily leave said pirate up a creek if he does not behave."

Erik paid no attention to her threat as he replied. "An action you seem to have completely forgotten about this morning."

"Fever."

"That excuse will only hold up for your actions on this day. I do hope you realize that."

Kitty glowered at him over her shoulder causing Erik to let out a low chuckle, which in turn made Kitty roll her eyes and turn her face forwards with a huff.

They sat in silence for a few moments, Erik absentmindedly carding his fingers through her long dark brown hair.

Feeling as if she might drift back to sleep, Kitty gave herself a shake and said grumpily, "Why was I still sitting on your lap?"

"I can only assume it is because you find me comfortable."

Turning so swiftly that some strands of her hair caught on his fingers, Kitty gave him a sour look and said. "You know darn well that I meant 'why was I still sitting on your lap after the bath?'"

Erik gave her a condescending smile secretly amused by this whole conversation since it seemed to him that she had forgotten that she was still sitting on him. With a shrug, he worked his fingers free from her hair. "Perhaps you just don't feel like moving?"

Blissfully oblivious to the fact that she was currently still seated on him for no reason, Kitty whacked him on the shoulder and cried. "Stop being insufferable! I really want to know!"

Grasping her small fists in his much larger ones, Erik drew her even closer and leaning down so that their noses brushed each other lightly, he said. "You wouldn't stop phasing. Same as you had been unable to do all day."

Studying his face in search of a lie (because let's be honest, he had a bad tendency to do so) Kitty finally relaxed in his grip, slumping a little and without consciously deciding to do so, entwined her fingers with his.

Turning her face away from him, she mumbled out of the corner of her mouth. "Well then, I guess I owe you a 'thank you.'"

A streak of perverse humor overtook Erik at the sight of her blushing, begrudging face and with a mischievous twinkle in his eye, he leaned forward and kissed the bridge of her nose.

At her shocked look, he merely smiled smugly and commented. "As they say, Kitten, nothing is free."

The hidden delight in her eyes warmed and intrigued him enough to make the extra whacks totally worth it.

Author's Notes: Thank you for reading! Sorry for the late updates but sadly real life has been stealing away writing time. -_-

Thank you to Latinashewolf for the review. I am so glad you enjoyed them and I hope you enjoy this one as well. I will keep your suggestion in mind and hopefully a plotbunny will bite. ^_^ I also wish more people wrote this couple. I have totally fallen for them to the point of getting art commissioned of them. LOL

Thank you to Setsunakou for the amazing beta job. ^_^