"Happy 2021! Have episode three! When Docile's former supervisor steals his parking spot, things sure do happen."
Part One: Kiva
A silver-colored van was held aloft by a pair of large white feathery wings attached to the sides. The surface was in pristine condition, shining in the sunlight. The license plates on the front and back read "E.L.F. – 333." In the driver's seat sat a thoughtful Docile, leader of E.L.F. The elf angel wore his usual work outfit: a long white coat with round teal buttons down the front and a pin attached to his undershirt. He had white pants and boots with blue trim around the ends. One half of his face was black, the other was a dark teal green. He had a white birthmark on his forehead and pointed teal green ears extending out on either side of his bald head. His pupils were white with teal irises and dark blue sclera. His wings were folded behind him and a white spiked halo hovered above his head. On the radio, a calming country song about God played as the elf hummed along.
"I love this song!" he said.
Sitting next to him in shotgun was the ever-smiling Sunna, the brown Heaven-cat. She had pointed ears and long hipster-style brown hair that framed her furry brown face. She wore her usual white sundress with a golden sun symbol on it. Decorating her brown furry body were several black stripes. Her sky blue eyes shined as she peered out at the passing clouds around her. The windows were down to let in the clean, crisp air.
In the backseats wearing seatbelts were their two elf colleagues, Tirred and Timmid. Tirred, grumpy as ever, covered his ears and grimaced in disgust at the music. He had black hair that stuck out slightly on either sides of his teal green face. His young white-haired partner Timmid was curled into a ball, fearful of heights and almost everything else. Ironically, she was an angel with white wings and a halo like her colleagues. Both elves wore their white and teal work outfits.
Sunna waved out the window as they flew by a family of bi-pedal humanoid swans who played harps on a cloud. Even the three kids were playing miniature lyres and flapping their wings in excitement. Holy City was bustling with music, cars, and people with animal-like traits. Several signs read, "Saintz," "Cloud Nine," "Paradise," "7th Heaven" and "Elysium Gymnasium!" Doves, swans and sheep danced together on a hovering golden platform while small curly-haired cupids played instruments in the clouds. Several angels took pictures and selfies with their cell phones. A large group of children chased each other in the air while they played the popular "Gabriel's Truth-Telling Trumpet Toys ™."
"Those things don't even work," Tirred mentioned as Sunna played Docile's trumpet he had gotten at Woo-Hoo Land.
"Probably not," she said, looking back behind her at him. "But I heard that people are still more likely to tell the truth, even if it's unintentional."
"Herd mentality," he said with a roll of his eyes. "People will believe anything, the mindless sheep they are."
A group of flying sheep angels "baa-ed" and gave him angry glares as E.L.F. drove by at a leisurely pace.
"What?" he spat at them. "I'm just being honest!"
"Told ya," Sunna grinned, blowing the trumpet closer to his face. Tirred pushed the trumpet away as Sunna giggled.
A nearby marching band of uniformed bi-pedal lions and eagles played trumpets on a path as they strolled around a golden Greek temple. Inside the temple, Metatron was busy organizing records at a fancy desk in a closed off portion of the vast room. A few Seraphim with six fiery red wings circled a golden empty throne inside, chanting "Holy, holy, holy is the Lord God almighty! The whole Earth is full of His glory!" Their chants were amplified to the outside world via magic megaphones.
"I always hated those annoying fiery things," Tirred remarked with a roll of his eyes. "They never stop!"
On the outskirts of Haven, a few dark exorcists were flying and sparing with angelic spears as part of their training. They had long black feathery necks, talon hands and feet, plus curved horns with small lines along them. They also had white spiked halos of their own above their heads, with a small crystal in the center surrounded by a cross. Timmid shivered as she spotted the Xs over their right eyes and their LED grins. The vulture-like demon exterminators had a smaller base and not as many numbers as the first Heaven next door, but that did not make them any less skilled or threatening.
"Those things give me the creeps," Timmid whimpered. "I don't understand why we have to have them in the Heavens."
"Well, they do live on the outskirts for a reason," Tirred explained. "They have their own military society and even families there. Children are trained from birth to cleanse demons and protect Heaven. The more elite fighters guard the Empyrean, God's abode. Some angels can become Exorcists but only after many tests and trials."
"Thou shall not kill," Timmid recited, forgetting her fear. "Thou shall love thy neighbor and not covert his goods. Why is it then, that Exorcists, mortals and demons to the extreme extent…aren't seen as our neighbors?"
There was a silence, save for the country music.
"Did you even listen to your lectures in school?" Tirred asked. "Demons are destined to suffer and be separated from their purified family members. Without the Archangels, Overlords, Saints and royalty, Heaven and Hell societies would crumble. Whether we like it or not, we all have our roles to play."
"Sure, like you play your role so perfectly at E.L.F." Sunna added to Tirred in sarcasm. She mimicked Tirred in a low voice: "'I shall use my healing powers to discipline you mortals!' 'Kill all demons and imperfections!' 'I'm so tired, I hate this place. No one else but me deserves to fu…'"
"Do you guys mind?!" Docile glared back at them. "I'm trying to listen here."
"Look out!" cried Timmid as a shocked Docile narrowly missed a white Pegasus flying to the side of the van. Docile swerved around it, and rapidly spun the wheel, dodging other flying vehicles. They dove under a large white flying truck that read "Fizzipop's Soda," on the sides in bold pink letters. The sky highway was flanked by streetlamps on clouds, the poles made of gold. As they plummeted down, Tirred put his hand on Timmid's shoulder, trying to comfort her. She looked at him, taking deep breaths and forcing a small smile. The van narrowly dodged a flying horse's hooves in the air.
"Horses," Docile snorted in disgust.
Docile maneuvered the van over toward E.L.F. headquarters. It was a large white pristine office building in Elf City, decorated with large golden wings jutting off to the sides. The double doors were decorated with harps. A nearby sign read "Welcome to Elf City, established 1981."
"Whoa!" Docile called, lowering the van and pressing onto the brakes. The van landed and skidded to a stop on the street.
"Holy spit!" Docile cried as they stilled.
The parking spot usually reserved for E.L.F. in front of the building had been taken by a large chariot.
But it was no ordinary chariot…it was a breathtaking vehicle of energy and moving symbols. The wheels were golden and glowing, with small eyes along the rims. Spheres of light seemed to glow between the spokes. A griffin with shimmering tan fur stood at the head of the chariot, squawking from his eagle head and resting from its flight. A small white sheep with wings served as the driver.
Four women got out, two on each side of the chariot. One had the head of a lioness and was dressed in red. The second wore white and had the head of a white bull. The third wore a purple robe and had the head of an eagle. The last woman wore green and had silky blonde hair and a white face with red blushes on it. All four women had silk scarves with peacock eyes draped over their shoulders. The license plate below read "SERVE-4-LIFE."
"Oh you serve for life, do ya?" Docile asked in curiosity. He stepped out of the van. "Why don't you do me a huge favor and let me have my parking spot back!"
Docile was silenced when another figure stepped out of the chariot. The four women made way for the last female.
"Is that…Beatrice?" Sunna asked, referring to the poet Dante's lover and symbol of his ascension to Heaven and God.
But it wasn't her. Instead, the woman who got out looked like a regular angel. She wore a black and white dress and white high heels. Her hair was long and pinkish blonde, her face white with blushes. She wore a pair of blue heart-shaped sunglasses.
"Holy Heavens! Kiva?!" Docile gasped.
"Docile," she greeted, stretching her pink-white feathery wings. She had pronounced the silent "e" in his name, much to his annoyance.
Kiva Perdera was a famous popstar in Heaven. Her love songs could make mortals and angels alike swoon with feelings of universal love.
"I should've known you'd be here," he said. "Who wouldn't be able to sense your divine presence in both paradises?"
There was a mix of admiration and resentment in his tone.
"And how have you been, Docile?" She flipped her hair back. "Still in choir practice and performances?"
"Only on occasion." He smoothed his shirt and coat in pride. "I've moved on to form my own blessing company, E.L.F. Which reminds me…please clear off from my spot."
Kiva grinned, her sharp white teeth matching her pale face. "This spot has my name on it, now," she said, pointing to "Kiva" in blue paint on the ground. The blue "E.L.F." was crossed out. "I'm doing some judging and assistant work for one of the more infinitely successful companies in Heaven…"
"No way," Sunna breathed from inside the van.
"…I've come from the other Heaven to visit and they invited me to perform some duties for a week for autumn break."
"A week?!" Docile asked in shock. "You're here for a week?"
"Yes indeed." She removed her sunglasses, revealing green irises, white pupils and dark blue sclera eyes.
"What's the matter, Docile?" she mocked. "Are you sacred that I'm gonna judge you again after what happened all those years ago?"
"I…I don't know what you're talking about," he said. "My former part-time job was decent enough. Bio Rizz had better jokes and songs…and I was fine with leaving the circus. Mia and Tia understood my new passion for saving lives. Oh I do miss them, though."
Kiva smirked and leaned slightly toward him. "Saving lives? How about reaping them?" She then spoke in a low angelic voice as eyes appeared on her wings. "Or your failure to properly do so?"
Docile's eyes went wide, his body went stiff. One eye twitched. A surge of memories flashed through his mind.
"Docile," scolded his elf father Deferent. "Are you forsaking your Biblical studies for your trivial theater thoughts again?"
"Dad," said Docile, holding up a flyer for a show at Woo-Hoo Land. "I've been wanting to star in my show for years. I could act and play music, too."
"If you had more talent, then yes. But you know that our status doesn't allow us to pursue whatever we want."
"But it's Heaven!"
"Heaven with rules just like Earth and Hell," he continued. "Your destiny is to serve God and this realm…put your personal interests aside for the greater good."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes. After all, that imp Blitzo's father Donner wanted him to give up his musical theater dreams in order for him and his sisters to survive and kill other demons. Of course, I don't want such a fate for you."
Docile stared in curiosity. "How did you…"
"How do I know all that? Heaven has spies who risk their lives to ensure that we can keep a better eye on demons and their lives."
The young Docile's face lit up. "Couldn't I be a spy that gets to go to Hell? So I can get information like this to share with citizens?"
"No son. Only a select few can do that duty."
"If that imp and his siblings want to pursue musical theater and circus performances, than I don't see anything wrong with that. That means I can do it, too!"
"It's not a real career," said his father. "You and your sisters need to make some decent money and do real work for the community. Serving the higher ups is what imps, hellhounds, elves and heavencats have done for centuries."
"You mean I can't pursue my own hobbies on the side when I want to? That doesn't make sense!" The young Docile had angry tears in his eyes.
"You'll understand when you're older," Deferent said.
Over time, Docile went to school and took class after class. He became proficient in choir and sang in several performances. But singing the same hymns every time soon got boring. Cleaning palaces, constructing stained glass windows, assisting doctors… He went through one menial job after another. He couldn't even use magic and work with the guardian angels. The saints and higher angels got to do whatever they wanted and there he was, stuck with mundane tasks. Even the lower class cherubs often bossed the elves around.
"Goblin dork," mocked a small flying brown deer wearing a business dress.
"Which of the Seven Halos are you from?" asked a bee cherub.
"The first Halo of Humility," Docile replied. "Where Holy City is."
"Wrong! You're from Halo Zero, where the losers are!"
The cherubs laughed and flew off toward their cloudy town, leaving a sad Docile behind.
Several of the stained glass windows depicted seven Archangels. The joyful Jophiel, Archangel of Beauty, had beautiful long red hair and wore a rainbow colored dress. She was surrounded by yellow flowers in the background. The lovely Chamuel, Archangel of Love, stood wearing white and held a red rose against a pink background of hearts. The mighty Michael, Archangel of Strength, stood out as a muscular blonde man holding a flaming sword and wearing gauntlets. His background was blue. Then there was the Archangel of Healing, Raphael, who wore a green robe and held a rod and herbs in his hands. His skin was brown and his hair was long and dark. The background was forest green. Uriel, the Archangel of Wisdom stood elegantly against a flaming red background, wearing white. There was Gabriel the Archangel Messenger, with his wings spread out and standing serene against white clouds. Finally there was Zadkiel, the Archangel of Mercy, who stood against a purple background.
After a while, Docile's father suggested…or rather forcefully encouraged…that he try an alternative career. "You don't want to be defenseless if you encounter an Anti-Exorcist, do you?" he asked. Docile gulped.
One December 31st, a being with white bat wings, horns and a bare chest flew up to a dog angel. The being held a book about demons in its clawed hands and the dog listened in a trance. A glowing black pitchfork struck the dog angel and he cried out. At once, he plummeted out of the air, his wings burning off as he fell to Hell. His horrified family sobbed nearby.
The young Docile gulped as he walked toward a dark stone building that read "Exorcist Fort 33 – Realm 2P."
By a stroke of luck, Docile was able to get in. He studied and trained day and night. There was Kiva, judging his every move. She wrote on a clipboard and stared with scrutinizing eyes as Docile practiced his flying. He grew used to using harpoon spears, holy daggers, swords and shields.
"Cleanse as many demons as you can," Kiva instructed, "but stray away from higher power demons."
"The population of both Hells are overpopulated," she said. "Thus reducing their numbers annually is crucial." She gave Docile a black feathery Exorcist suit and mask, enchanted to fit his form. His wings and halo turned black.
"These suits were invented to help us blend into the population…and also to inspire fear in demons."
"Do not talk to anyone. Do not enter into any buildings in Hell…or else you'll be cornered. Stay with at least two other Exorcists on missions at all times…for Heaven's sake, Docile, never drop your holy weapons!"
"Sorry! I'll get it," he called, flying down to retrieve his spear. The older Exorcists shook their heads.
"And most of all…" said Kiva, "Show no mercy to any demon…no matter how innocent they may look."
On Dec 31st, Docile and the Exorcists flew through a portal into 2P Hell. Docile did his job well, slaying demons with his harpoon with no mercy. He glided over the black grassy ground, the sky sanguine. His heart ached every time he dealt a blow, but he told himself it was for the greater good.
Just then, he spotted a furry animal on a sidewalk. Tossing aside his weapon, he picked up the creature and carried it to safety. The animal was a fluffy white furred cat with a scrunched up brownish face like a cross between a Persian and a Siamese cat. He stared at Docile with light blue eyes.
Docile's eyes shined as he removed his mask. "Aww, how cute! What's your name?"
"I'm Nugget," said the cat in a shaky child-like voice. "I fell from Earth and I got lost here in Hell."
Docile gasped. "It's okay. I'll take you back to Heaven."
"Do you think you could help me find my family, first?"
"Of course."
"I think they went this way."
Nugget led him to an abandoned movie theater that read "Zoophobia: The Lost Characters" at the top. On a nearby wall, a deer head hung over a plaque that read "Hell Here" in bold letters.
Docile went inside as Nugget posed in front of him. "Here they are!"
A black cat, Pixel arrived with a whitish mouth. Then a thinner tan cat with triangular ears stood close by: Muppet.
The three cats cuddled and purred against Docile as he pet them. Docile closed his eyes in bliss before feeling a sharp bite on his shoulder. Then another one on his chest.
"Hey, what's going…"
He opened his eyes and gasped out loud. The three furry faces now had red glowing eyes and large smiles of bloody sharp teeth. They had increased in size as well. The cat demons meowed gleefully as they tore at his clothing, wings and skin with their sharp claws. He struggled against them but they held him down.
"We're having angel soul tonight, gang!" Nugget cackled.
Through his darkened haze, Docile could hear laughing, then hisses and yells. He heard the cats fleeing and felt himself being carried by someone with strong arms. By the time he woke up, he was in a military hospital in Heaven, staring at Kiva's stern face.
He smiled lovingly at her. "Kiva, you saved my life! How can I repay you?"
"Getting distracted and fooled by other demons," she tutted. "Putting other Exorcist's lives at risk. Almost bringing a demon into Heaven. Here," she said, handing him a pink slip. "You're fired!"
Three high ranking cherub angels hovered in front of Docile as he walked in shame along the street. "We can help you, little guy," the leader said in a kind voice. They emerged from the light. Docile's eyes went wide. It was the angelic versions of Nugget, Pixel and Muppet.
Nugget held out a generous paw. "Can you tell us your name?"
Docile took one look at their familiar feline faces and screamed as he scurried away.
The cats looked at each other in confusion.
Docile heard the taunts and jeers of other angels around him. "Does anyone love you, Docile?"
"No!"
Docile was back in the present, shaken. His crew looked at him in concern as Kiva awaited his response.
He stuttered at Kiva. "Yeah well…uh I may have failed, but…at least I'm actually doing something with my life instead of singing love songs all the time!"
"You're jealous because I'm still famous," she said, moving her slender fingers through her tresses of hair. "I've heard your company is struggling to make ends meet. The chain company I work for now…It'll likely outshine yours in a few months."
"I don't think so," he argued, getting into her face. "As long as my employees and I are together, we'll keep doing our job!" He stood, arms folded.
Timmid had never seen the normally calm and carefree Docile so agitated. Even Sunna had a worried look on her face.
"Now move your chariot or I'm gonna…"
A low hissing sound made him freeze. Towering above him was a giant white bi-pedal cat wearing a dark white suit. The cat's left eye had a scar over it and was milky white. One of his ears was torn.
"You'll what?" he asked, his eyes blue, his sharp teeth visible.
"I'll…uh…" Docile stuttered. "I'll call GOP."
Kiva, Docile and the large cat burst into laughter.
"Anyway," said Kiva. "Meet my new bodyguard, Portal. Unlike you, he actually does his job well."
Portal and Kiva led the way as the four robed women followed. The chariot locked by itself and was surrounded by a barrier of white flames.
"God bless and God speed, elf man," she called.
Docile stomped his foot. "That holier than thou, pompous little bit…"
"You know Kiva Perdera?!" Sunna asked as she stepped out of the van.
"Huh? Oh yeah, she was my supervisor and…former crush."
"Was that before or after your training?" Timmid asked, poking her head through an open window.
"You were a former Exorcist?!" Tirred asked in envy and disbelief.
"Okay, why are you all acting like that's such a shock?" Docile asked in annoyance.
"It's Kiva Perdera?" Sunna replied. "An experienced traveler celebrity…with you?"
"She must be sick in the head," Tirred added. "Perhaps trying to show mercy to the little ones in her spare time."
Docile narrowed his eyes. "You guys are making this into a way bigger deal than it needs to be," Docile said. "I don't spy into your personal lives."
The three overlapped, "You do that all the time, sir!"
"Drop it, guys," Docile demanded. "Timmid, find a new parking spot for the van."
"I'm scared to drive," she said in hesitation.
"Then lift up the van and fly it! Sunna, Tirred, come with me."
Sunna led the way as the three E.L.F. members stepped out of an elevator. The walls were white and free of cracks. The brown cat was unusually nervous and she started licking her furry arm repeatedly.
"Oh, my fur's not clean enough," she muttered between licks.
"Oh you look perfect Sunny," said Docile.
Sunna kept licking her fur until she bumped into a strong arm. She looked up, stunned. Portal was standing tall and proud…and he gazed down at her.
"Say something, Sunny," Docile whispered in encouragement. But all that came out from Sunna was a high combination of a meow and a squeak: "meoweek!" Her face blushed.
Docile walked up and cleared his throat. "Hello, sir. Where's your employer?"
"She's in her office," he said. "There wasn't room on the second floor, so they made room here on this one." He mentioned to a pair of double doors right across from the E.L.F. office. The room was converted into an organized recording studio with microphones, headsets, switches, and of course, a thick Bible on a center table. Painted on the door windows was a large orange "K" and a large orange "P" that stood for Kiva Perdera (and Kathy Prior). The room number above read "42".
"Oh come on!" Docile cried.
"Sorry, man," Portal said as he walked away. Docile muttered some fancy angelic words under his breath…his tone sounded high and echo-like, similar in structure to the lower sounding demonic language.
"Are you casting a spell?" Tirred asked.
"No, I'm cursing," Docile said.
"Sir," added Tirred. "Maybe I should head on in and give her and her gang a piece of mind. I like "pop genre" music better than country but nothing's better than the dark subtle portions of rock or metal or even ambient. Her status to me is…"
"Tirred, shush it," Docile said, tuning him out.
"All righty then," Tirred said, heading for the door.
Portal then moved in front of the door.
"Hey, I was going in there," Tirred mentioned, holding up a finger.
"Office is closed," he said in a gruff voice. Docile and Tirred looked at each other. Portal sighed. "What did you expect? You think I was gonna let you imps…erm, elves waltz on in, allow those angels to mess with you and have one of you make a stupid bet with them? I don't think so."
"Wow, he really does do his job well," Sunna breathed.
Docile was about to say something else, but Portal waved a large paw dismissively. "Scram."
Docile gave one last glare and opened the door to the E.L.F. office. Timmid ran down the hall to catch up with them. "I'm here!" she called. She glanced at the poker faced Portal and smiled nervously, holding up her hands. "Nice kitty," she said as she followed Docile and the others into the room.
The four of them crashed onto a nearby couch, with an old fashioned brown TV in front of them. Docile held his head in his hands. "I can't believe this. Kiva and her cherubs could shut down our company if she found a reason to. We don't even know what company she works for."
"What are we gonna do?" Sunna asked. "We can't just sit here."
"Which is exactly what we're doing," Docile said. "Unless you all have any better ideas?"
The others were silent.
"Can we watch Spirit?" Sunna asked. "Or Cats the musical?"
"That Spirit movie was boring," Docile complained. "And that iced coffee my older colleague gave me this morning…unsatisfying. You know I always like my coffee hot."
Sunna picked up a TV remote. "Let's see what's on. Maybe it'll cheer us up."
Sunna pressed a button and a series of commercials flashed onto the screen. One commercial stood out from the others. It featured three singing angelic cherubs from the parallel canon Heaven. The three of them posed in the clouds by a rising sun. The sky had white clouds below, making way to more orange clouds and rays of sunlight. In the center of the screen stood a bluish crystalline structure that looked like a rising sun. The structure had fifteen pointed triangle spokes on the top, each increasing in size toward the center.
The leader cherub was a winged boy with a white halo, a white face, short orange hair in a bob at the top and large silvery eyes. He wore a pair of orange overalls, a yellow undershirt and small white boots. He was flanked by two flying smiling sheep on either side of him. The sheep to his left had a dark face, bushy eyebrows, light eyes and thick curly white wool hair on his head. He wore a white bow tie, a teal shirt and blueish overalls with four buttons on it. He also had white wings, cloven hooves and a white halo. Finally, the sheep to the right was a female, with a light yellow face and pink irises. Her hair was wooly and yellow, her eyes had thick eyelashes. She wore a matching yellow dress with a red bow with ribbons on it near her neck. The bottom trim of her dress was also red in a flowery shape. Her hooves and legs were light yellow as were her wings. Her white halo hovered above her head. The sheep used a Bible to travel to Earth via a created portal in the sky.
Cherub Towne was shown as an orange, white and blue pastel city in the sky. Golden gates surrounded it and a crystalline sun shaped structure that appeared was actually a Throne angel.
The leader boy appeared on the screen.
"Well, howdy! I'm Cletus! Welcome to Heaven! Guess you did something good to get here, and good people deserve to give loved ones special blessings!"
The jingle began.
The clip showed a man falling to his death without a parachute. "Owie!" appeared in a bubble over the man.
Collin sang, "Does it make you want to cry…"
Keenie added, "When a loved one has to die?" as another human got run over by a speeding train. "Oh No!" appeared in a censoring through bubble.
"Does it hurt you through and through…" sang Cletus as a man was shown accidentally shooting himself in the face. "Oopsie!" was in another bubble over his face.
"When you face is turning blue?" They all sang as a man struggled to breathe in a noose.
"Luckily for you…" sang Collin the indigo sheep.
"There's something we can do…" sang Keenie the yellow sheep.
The leader cherub smiled against the sunrise clouds.
"We can help keep them alive…
They all posed and sang:
So you can watch them thrive!"
The three cherubs flew together side to side as their logo "C.H.E.R.U.B." appeared in bold golden letters on the screen.
"Cause here at C.H.E.R.U.B.,
We'll save your honey bun from dying violently,
The next series of clips showed the sheep saving people from muggers, natural disasters and various accidents. Cletus rescued a woman from a pack of animals while Keenie shoved a frightened Collin toward them, as he held a wooden plank with a nail in it.
Cause here at C.H.E.R.U.B.,
No, we never even ask a fee,"
The next clip showed a human handing dollar bills to the leader boy, who held out a dismissive hand.
"Because good people spread the love,"
The next clip showed the two sheep cherubs hugging each other as pink hearts spread out in all directions.
"And we're here for all above,"
The next clip showed a spinning earth with more hearts in every direction.
"We do the paperwork for you,"
The exhausted Collin wrote down at his desk surrounded by piles of paper around him. A nearby sign was a message from God to use people to get to the top.
"And the heavy lifting, too,"
The yellow female cherub lifted a heavy boulder from a crushed woman. The woman gave a weak smile and thumbs up.
A man in a car crash with a torn up chest and battered skin weakly smiled as the sheep cherubs appeared around him.
"So sit right back and let us bless a soul for you,"
The leader cherub smiled and flew close to the screen. He joined his two companions who lifted their heads up and harmonized. The golden C.H.E.R.U.B. logo appeared above their heads.
"Oh we, are the C.H.E.R.U.B.!"
("Cherishing Human Existence, Releasing Unlimited Blessings.")
Docile switched the TV off.
"You're not gonna angrily blow up the TV with a gun are you?" Timmid asked in surprise.
"Of course not!" Docile called. "Who would do something crazy like that?!"
Timmid shrugged.
"Wow," Docile breathed, sitting still. "That was…"
He turned around, beaming. "…the greatest commercial I've ever seen!"
Timmid blinked in surprise. "The jingle wasn't great and those sheep look suspicious…"
Docile put an arm around his employee. "Come on, Timmid, the jingle was like a musical. And the amazing things the cherubs can do. Protecting humans and spreading love! And who knows what else!"
"We literally do the same thing," she said.
Docile let go. "True but we mostly heal people, comfort the grief-stricken and restore things to normal. We're far less…cheery and sheep-y…"
"Baa!" Sunna belted out loud, followed by high giggles. Tirred rolled his eyes.
Timmid sat up. "I have an idea. What if we all traveled to the other Heaven and asked C.H.E.R.U.B. to help us? We could join forces against Kiva's new company and E.L.F. will continue on. Kiva may even leave us alone."
Tirred scratched his head. "Are you sure? You know how hard it is for OCs and denizens of this realm to travel to the other realm."
"It's a piece of cake for the canon characters to travel here," Docile mentioned. "It's shouldn't be that hard for us."
"Well…" Sunna said, trying to be encouraging. "I only heard it takes several days to travel from Heaven to Hell and vice versa."
Docile smiled and held up a finger. "Not if portals are used along with light speed. That's how it's always done every year."
"We can't just travel to and fro on a whim," Tirred reminded them. "The bodyguard is still there."
"Well if you see him, just try and reason with him. Tell him that we'd like to combine our skills and hopefully E.L.F. can be heard about in the other Heaven, too. That'll prove to Kiva just how capable I…I mean we, can be."
"Whatever you say, sir."
There was a knock at the door.
Docile got up to answer it. He flinched back when he saw Portal.
"Kiva's ready to see you," he said. "No crazy bets."
"So much for that plan," Docile mumbled to himself as he followed Portal. Portal opened the door to the recording studio. The four women had left and Kiva was surrounded by a gang of slender singer cherubs. These cherubs appeared as whitish bi-pedal sheep, bees and deer, wearing modern day light colored clothing. A woman sheep had light pink fur, a light pink face and wore a matching dress with flowers on it. Another male sheep wore purple overalls, a dark face and shining golden eyes. All of the cherubs had white halos and wings. The cherubs were smaller than Kiva and hovered beside her, staring at Docile.
"How can I help you, Docile?" she asked, pronouncing the "e." "Come here to admit defeat and try again?"
"Quite the opposite, actually," he said. "I'm traveling to meet with another company, which will totally outshine whatever yours is. They have excellent singers and a fantastic commercial. So if you'll excuse me, I'm off to expand the best and only company in Heaven, E.L.F.!"
"How interesting," said the pink singer. "What is your companion company?"
"Like I'd tell you."
Kiva smirked. "This company you seek…it wouldn't happen to be C.H.E.R.U.B., would it?"
Docile froze in his tracks…which was enough of an answer for her.
"Oh, so it is," she said as Docile turned around.
"So maybe it is," he added. "I'm gonna collaborate with them and your company will be blown out of the water!"
Kiva and the cherubs laughed. "Hahahaha!" Kiva grinned in superiority. "I work for C.H.E.R.U.B., little elf!"
"W-what?!"
Kiva lifted up a pocket of her dress that revealed the tiny logo. "I'm one of their assistants who spreads the word of their activities. Actually more fun than being an Exorcist coach. Guess my fame here was able to reach the other realm."
"I…I don't believe this…"
"Forget about trying to join forces with C.H.E.R.U.B. Collin, Keenie and Cletus are too busy to be concerned about a bunch of struggling…non-canon elves!"
Kiva and her crew laughed again. Docile's face turned red and he seethed.
Docile then glared in determination, sharp teeth showing, pointing his finger. "Listen here, snitch. My company was formed before yours! We were beginning to save lives while I.M.P. was just getting started! E.L.F. will continue to exist with or without your help. While your sheep sing Kumbaya on lyres, we're out helping both humans and angels!"
Kiva leaned in toward Docile. "Big words from a little elf who formed a mediocre rip-off crew based on C.H.E.R.U.B! I'd like to see you get approved, or even noticed by the well-known figures in Heaven…or Hell! You're utterly forgettable!"
"Oh yeah? Well, how about I propose something you will never forget! I challenge you to a…challenge! Gosh darn it, I said that twice."
"Oh. What's the game then, Docile?" She drew out the "e."
"Every year, you airheaded muses go topside for easy entertainment when autumn break is a great date for positive fate and staying up late! So I bet…you cher-boobs can't amore as many people as we can vivifica by the end of the day." Docile briefly placed two hands over his heart to show love and then slowly raised his hands around his head to emphasis reviving. He grinned and held up a determined finger.
Kiva and her gang laughed yet again. Docile gave a determined glare.
They stopped. "Oh, you're serious?" Kiva asked, leaning in close. "Game on, snitch."
Docile walked out of the room to find Tirred and Portal talking. Tirred handed Portal a large handful of dollar bills.
"Forget about bribing, Tirred," Docile said. "Kiva's not gonna let us collaborate with C.H.E.R.U.B. on our terms like I'd hoped."
Tirred just stayed silent.
"Let's go, gang," said Docile, "We're going up."
"To the next floor?" asked Timmid.
"No. Up to Earth."
"Don't you mean going down to Earth?" Tirred asked. "Because Heaven is higher and superior to…"
"Shut up Tirred!" Docile and Sunna said.
E.L.F. went outside as Sunna carried the Bible in her arms. Docile posted several flyers that read "Autumn Break Rescues: 50% Off!"
"Now we wait," Docile said.
"But sir," mentioned a worried Timmid. "There is no way that enough clients will arrive to read a few ordinary, black and white flyers!"
Docile grinned as a line of cherubs, native angels and saints alike grew outside.
"Now, who's first?" Docile asked as he walked over toward the clients.
Part Two: At The Beach
The beach in the human world was alive with humans from everywhere. Men, women and children happily walked around, relaxed under umbrellas, or had snacks. Several surf boards stood up in the sand by a decorated teal wall with a wavy orange design taking up the center. The crowd was positioned between a wooden dock and a makeshift stage. Two women wearing sunglasses got comfortably close and kissed each other in the shade. A muscular dark skinned man talked with a red haired woman while a blonde guy wearing sunglasses and a baseball cap shook a bottle of pills into his mouth. Above the beach lay a small row of shops. One sign read "Pawn Paradise." One sign read "Hotel" in red letters while another sign read "Sea Cream" with a teal ice cream cone structure next to it. Another sign read "Piccolo Pizza" and another read "Dagon Juice" and had a green fish with a sailor's cap on it.
In the shadows under the dock, the E.L.F. crew emerged from algae covered rocks.
"Alright, you ready, guys?" Docile asked. The others nodded.
"Then let's go…"
"Wait," Sunna held up a paw. "Shouldn't we all be in human disguises?"
"What now?" Tirred asked.
"You know, to blend in so we don't get caught?"
"You're just bringing it up now, Sunny?" Docile asked.
"I got distracted by…" Sunna's cat eyes landed on a large white cat-like man pacing by the stage. Portal. "…stuff."
Docile gave her a brief wink. "Right. But be sure to get some work done first. We're all gonna have to work together if we stand a fighting chance. Got the list, Sunny?"
"Got it," she said, sniffing a scroll of paper and examining the names on it.
"Look around for anyone who might need saving or love or comfort," Docile said.
"Do you think C.H.E.R.U.B. needs to take on human forms every time they go to Earth? Or do they have the privilege of being adored by everyone they meet?"
Docile faced Tirred with wide eyes and a strained grin. "Not helping, Tirred."
Sunna held up a picture of a group of four humans. It was I.M.P. in their human forms. Blitzo had light brown skin, red eyes, a slender tall body and short wavy black hair. He also had his black birthmark on his forehead. His look radiated a child-like smugness. Moxxie was a short, red-eyed man with white skin, a lanky body and his signature white hair. A grumpy look was present on his face. The beaming Millie was African American, with wild black hair, dark brown skin, red eyes, makeup and thick eyelashes. Finally, the aloof Loona had pale skin, red eyes, a partially shaved head, bars in her ears and a mane of long gray hair. They all wore their same work outfits.
"This should work," Sunna said. "If it did for them, it can do for us."
The four members stepped forward, their bodies enveloped by swirling magical blue light. The light faded away and there they stood in their human disguises. Docile was slender and white with gray eyes and short black hair…he even had a birthmark on his forehead. Tirred was short with white skin, black hair, a thicker body and serious black eyes. Timmid was little and blonde, with pale skin and green eyes. Last of all was Sunna, a well-formed African American woman with brown eyes and brown braided strands of thick hair. All of them wore their same outfits. They stared at themselves and their hands in amazement.
"Meow," catcalled a nearby human man who crept up to Sunna. With a roll of her eyes, she landed an uppercut to his chin and he collapsed.
"Alright kitty, kitty," called Docile to Sunna, "Lead the way!"
Sunna spotted a muscular man with a bare chest sweating in the sun. After he collapsed from heat exhaustion, Sunna raced over and carried him toward a shady spot. Timmid summoned a bottle of water from thin air and lifted it to his lips. The man groaned and stared at them with relief in his eyes. Once he was back to normal, he thanked them and went off to get some ice cream.
The other blonde man with sunglasses was staggering in the sand, unaware of anything going on. Docile rushed over while Sunna held him steady. Using his golden rod shaped angelic staff, Docile pressed the sphere against the man's back. The drugs vanished from his system and the man stood up. Sunna grinned and handed him a magazine titled, "How to Cure Your Depression and Be Closer to God." After they left, the man rolled his eyes and tore the magazine in half. "Religious salespeople," he muttered.
Several lifeguards pulled an African American to shore, her leg was bleeding heavily from a shark bite. Tirred waved his hand over the wound and it closed on its own. As the others around them gasped in shock at what he did, Docile waved his staff and their eyes went blank. The humans all went back to their activities, not even noticing the disguised elves anymore.
Timmid gave a white woman CPR and then pulled her child from the riptides. Sunna helped rescue a man from a mugger in an alleyway. Docile showed a crying child a picture of three fluffy cats. Tirred helped an elderly man up the stairs. Finally, Docile confronted a drug addict and told him about how dangerous it was for him to keep doing drugs. The man didn't listen, but when Docile told him what could happen to his family, the man pondered his words, begged for forgiveness, and suddenly collapsed from a heart attack. Thankfully with Docile's healing magic, the man recovered before death could claim him.
"I hereby bless you with determination and a chance to go to Heaven if you are willing to redeem yourself."
The man gazed at Docile, rubbed his eyes and carelessly walked away.
Although many people wouldn't listen to the elves, a majority of the time, the elves were very persuasive in steering people away from sin.
Docile smiled in approval as the gang reunited. "Nine rescues in the bag, guys! Well done! I'd like to see that pompous princess score that many…"
"All right fall breakers!" called a familiar voice. A large crowd had gathered around the stage. It was Kiva in her human form. She had long blonde hair, white skin and ocean green eyes. She wore a short emerald green wavy dress that exposed her right shoulder and wore matching heels.
"Are you all ready to have some fun and make some divinely good choices?!"
The crowd cheered and a fanboy yelled "Kiva!" Her name was written in blue on his bare chest.
Several teal spotlights shone on her and hearts flashed on the two screens on either side of the stage. "Confess, Docile," was shown in white letters on the screens…Docile seethed in anger.
Kiva began her love song, the crowd hooked onto every word. She sung like a siren on land, luring the humans to promises of enlightenment and bliss.
"All aboard
Pack your bags
Sun's out
Take a vacay, babe
Take it straight to Bonetown
V-time, free time, love to share
Romance, fun dance, global care
Massages and che-rubs on your back
You are more than what you may lack
Pack your bags
Sun's out
Take a vacay, babe
Take it straight to Bonetown
Ice cream, sunscreen, volleyball to play
Kindness, pure bliss, seizing the day
Back to my place, it's Cloud Nine
No need to stress when everything is fine
Pack your bags
Sun's out
Take a vacay, babe
Take it straight to Bonetown."
Before long, the humans were laughing and hugging each other. Some gave each other kisses and said nice things. Many of them made out as well. Kiva's cherub angels were in human form as well, with varied skin tones and genders. Most of them wore high-quality clothing; shirts with pockets for the men and silky sun dresses for the women. A lion cherub was disguised as a white man with long blonde hair. He walked up to another man and smiled warmly. The human cried with joy and rushed into his arms for a hug. Another cherub appeared as a black man, soon surrounded by adoring human women. The cherubs' eyes were a mixture of teal and gold.
"God dammit!" cried Docile. "Kiva has started her godish mating call! Now she's gonna win all those love lunatics! We gotta pick things up, guys! He on the list, Sunny?"
He mentioned to a blonde man wearing boxer shorts, smoking a cigarette.
"Huh? Oh yeah, I guess." Sunna stared at Portal who was guarding the stage. He appeared as a muscular blonde white man wearing his suit. He had a necklace with a pendant in the shape of a cat.
"Good!"
The man looked at Docile. "Whoa, what are you…a leprechaun?" asked the blonde man with a strained laugh as he pushed down his sunglasses.
"Oh yeah, pretty lame, huh?" Docile asked in annoyance. He waved his staff and the man's mind went blank. He fell on his knees. The smoke cleared from his lungs. Docile tossed the man's cigarette away.
"And you sure as spit won't tell anyone." Docile turned back. "All right, next one, Sunny, come on."
He looked around and saw Sunny slowly making her way toward Portal.
"Be careful and good luck!" he called with a wave.
Sunna made her way through the crowd, avoiding a French-kissing couple and a herd of dancers. A male white cherub appeared by her and gave her a wink. Sunna rolled her eyes and shoved him away.
One of the fanboys squealed and ran toward Kiva with his arms out. Portal grabbed hold of him and dragged him away.
Kiva turned to one of the cherubs on stage. "Invite them in."
The cherub walked off the stage with a Bible in his hand. He drew a Christian Cross and a pink sigil of the name Vivienne in front of him. He chanted in the angelic language.
When Portal dismissed the boy, he looked at Sunna and smiled.
"Hello."
"H-Hi," Sunna said nervously.
"Say, you're that cat working for my boss's troublesome previous intern."
"Yeah," said Sunna, "Sorry if that's weird."
"It's cool," he said. "The past is the past. I'm paid and I do my job…all that matters."
"Yeah," Sunna laughed nervously. A high squeak escaped her lips. "I'm Sunna!"
Portal rolled his eyes and gave her a small smile. "I'm Portal."
"That's hot," Sunna said with a grin. Then her face turned red and flustered. "I mean like literally you know because portals, you know, they give off heat. Probably." She pointed both fingers in a snap, trying to act cool.
Portal chuckled. "My friends call me Tal."
"Nice, very nice."
Docile appeared not too far away. "Are you gonna ask him on a date?" Docile whispered to her. Sunna waved her hand in annoyance at him. "Shush!" she hissed under her breath.
"I think I know a great place you two could meet," Docile said. He glanced over at two people randomly carrying a third person on a mattress across the sand.
"No, no, no!" Sunna said as Docile held in laughter. Portal just looked on.
Sunna turned to Docile and whispered. "Why are you embarrassing me?"
"Just want what's best for you," he said.
"I can do things on my own," she replied.
"Sure, like your job, but this is a new area for you, and I thought…"
Sunna moved a hand over her face in frustration. "Just please, let me do this on my own."
Docile turned to Portal. "I adopted my little pussycat when she was eighteen!"
Sunna growled in annoyance.
"If you want, I have pictures of her even younger!"
Sunna's face turned red. "Please, just leave me alone for five minutes, at least! Why are you behaving like this?"
"Because I adopted you and I want to help keep you safe. My protectiveness should mean something."
Sunna hissed, "Well right now it doesn't!"
"Well if you want to go back working for the rest of your life, have at it. Don't forget your earlier years when you needed me most."
"It doesn't matter anymore! I didn't need you then, Docile! And I don't need you now. You're not my real dad!"
Docile turned his back toward her, hiding a hurt look on his face. Sunna also had a hurt expression as well, seconds after she had said her words.
"Uh…" Portal began, scratching his head at the awkward situation. He turned to Sunna. "You were…asking me out?"
"No, no I wasn't!" Sunna nervously stuttered out loud. "It was just my dad's…um adoptive dad's crazy idea. I'm not interested in you in that way, but I love you…as a person…ya know…uh…"
"Okay?" he asked. "If you ever want to give me a call, go for it. My girlfriend throws the best feline parties back in Heaven…"
Tears of embarrassment spilled from Sunna's brown eyes. "Party, new friends, lots of fun! Gotta go back to work, nice mating you….uh meeting you! Bye!"
"Sunny, wait!" called a concerned Docile. But the disguised cat had dashed off into the twilight.
The sky had turned from a brilliant blue to a sunset orange. Purple and indigo colors appeared in the sky with each passing minute. Timmid was finished healing another person when she spotted a figure in the distance near the stage. It looked like one of Kiva's minions, looking from side to side.
"What are those sneaky cherubs up to now?" she asked herself.
"Hey, Timmid," called Tirred who arrived beside her.
"Hey Tirred, haven't seen you in a while. You see that cherub over there?"
Timmid mentioned to the white human woman in a teal dress moving sideways by the stage.
"Yes. I think we should go get some information out of her," Tirred said. "I don't know about you but Kiva seems pretty suspicious."
"Agreed. Let's go."
Just before the two elves reached her, the frightened cherub dashed up some steps and vanished. Kiva's show had ended for the moment. The two elves reached backstage and hid among the red curtains on either side. Timmid peered through and saw the cherubs strolling around and putting away instruments. The front of the stage was curtained off, obscuring the stage from the beachgoers.
Just then, Tirred stepped forward into Kiva's line of sight. Her gang of cherubs all turned their heads.
"Tirred, wait!" called Timmid, following him before she could stop herself.
Tirred summoned an angelic spear into his hand and pointed it at Kiva with a glare. His eyes darted from side to side, his body shaking. The spear was the one he often practiced with in his spare time.
"This ends now, Kiva!" he said. "You can admit that you've won the contest…but leave E.L.F. alone…or else."
Kiva looked at both of them, moving a slender finger toward her chin.
"You're outnumbered dear," Kiva smiled. "Best if you surrender now."
"No, don't surrender, Tirred!" Timmid urged, getting into a fighting stance. "We can work something out once Docile gets back."
Several pairs of eyes glowed eerily on Kiva's white wings in the dim light. Kiva smirked. "Oh, I wasn't talking to him."
Timmid stepped back as Tirred gave her a strange apologetic smile. Suddenly it seemed like getting to Kiva was too easy.
She had to warn Docile and Sunna.
She sprinted back toward the curtains and opened them. The blonde-haired beefy Portal suddenly towered in front of her, mouth partially open. He extended his meaty white hands. Timmid leaped out of the way and slid under him, but he yanked her back by grabbing one of her arms. Timmid yelped in shock and fear. He soon had her in his grip, one of his hands over her mouth. Timmid felt a sharp pinch to her neck and was overcome by black.
Timmid groggily woke up, the world coming back into focus. She looked around, then down…and found herself tied to a pole. Rope was wrapped around her waist and her hands were tied behind her. She struggled against the bonds.
"Excellent work, Tirred," Kiva praised nearby. "They should arrive any minute now."
They?
The hairs on the back of her neck stood on end. Timmid watched as Tirred handed his spear to one of Kiva's cherubs. The cherub placed the spear on a small black stand in the center of the space. After a flash of magic, the spear hovered in the air on its own. Energy reflected from the spear's sharp tip, opening a swirling hole in the glowing pink symbol in the air.
Timmid gasped as she stared down at her now clawed green fingers. Tirred had changed back to an elf as well. Back at the beach, Docile stared at his elf reflection in the water.
Sunna walked past him, still in human form.
"That's what happens when you don't use your disguise for a while. It wears off after several hours."
Docile face-palmed and scowled before lowering his hand. He sat on a rock, tired from saving so many people…and upset at the current events.
Sunna froze. The dark woman took a deep breath and forced herself to turn around. Something urged her to help set things right.
Several minutes of silence ticked by. The only sounds heard were the motions of the waves, the cawing of gulls and distant chatter.
If Sunna had been in her cat form, her ears would've twitched.
"Docile," she said tentatively as she crept toward him. "I…I'm sorry about before, you know…"
Docile didn't move.
Sunna moved closer and wiped a few sad tears away. "About what I said…I really didn't mean it…"
"Didn't you?" he solemnly asked.
Sunna sighed. "Look, we all have our bad moments. I know you were trying to help me make a good impression. But you were just embarrassing me in front of him! I'm not a little kitty anymore."
"But you are still my daughter…or adoptive daughter. You have your duties to fulfil and I have mine."
"Life isn't just about work and serving a higher power," Sunna mentioned, inching closer to him on the large rock. "I'll admit, I do it almost every day but other times I love lazing around. Life's a chance to explore and try new things. To really live and do things you enjoy."
"Not to the point of selfishness," Docile said. "Pride is the root of all the sins, you know."
"Is it really selfish to want to fall in love? To seek pleasure for its own sake and to follow your dreams because you want to?"
Docile turned to look at her. "Not everyone gets a chance to live their dreams, Sunna. Not even in Heaven. I've worked hard, served many people, yet I'm still just cloud fluff in society's eyes. Elves and imps, the lowest of the low. Eventually you learn to be grateful with what you have and be…docile in life."
Sunna raised a thick eyebrow. "Where's that hidden adventurous Docile I know and love? The Docile who isn't always docile? The one quick as lightning, who's willing to take risks to protect those he loves and his wondrous goals?"
"I'm not a reckless imp," he replied.
"You don't have to be. You just have to be yourself and find that perfect balance."
"Easier said than done."
Sunna put a comforting hand on his back, sniffing. "I'm so sorry."
After a moment, he said, "I'm sorry, too. You really have grown up a lot and…I'm very proud of you." Docile wrapped her in a tight hug, gently rocking her. "Hey. Where's that sunny Sunna I know and love?"
Sunna let out a few hysterical sobs. "She's right here, dad."
They embraced for a while and then let go.
Sunna stood up and sniffed the air. "There's something wrong."
"Want another hug?"
"No, I can feel something in the air. I haven't seen Tirred or Timmid around for a while. We're supposed to meet back up here."
"Could they be lost?" Docile asked.
"Or worse…"
Both of them glanced over at the stage in the distance. Several cherub stood guard around it, including Portal.
"Kiva," Docile breathed in anger.
Without hesitation, the elf sprinted off across the sand. "Wait!" Sunna called, racing after him. "It could very well be a trap!"
"I know. Go call the human police," Docile said. "I'm not leaving my employees behind no matter what!"
Sunna smiled, though concern was present in her eyes. "You got this, dad!"
"Hey woodland pets!" Docile called in a mocking tone.
Docile summoned an angelic spear and knocked aside a few disguised cherubs with a wide swipe. One of them landed a punch, but he dodged out of the way. A few more rushed at him, but he leapt into the air, using his wings to steady himself. Docile spun around and landed several kicks to the cherub's faces. They were knocked to the ground, but easily got up. Docile landed onto the wooden stage floor and burst through the curtains. There he spotted Timmid tied up. With another skilled swipe, the ropes fell off of her. Timmid managed to get her hands free. All too quickly, the other cherubs closed in, one of them knocking away Docile's spear. That spear was picked up by Kiva and added next to Tirred's hovering weapon. The portal grew wider.
Docile and Timmid were quickly pinned down by more disguised cherubs from behind. They struggled as they faced Kiva.
"Not so noble now are we, Docile?" She pronounced the "e."
"Smooth coming from you. Why go so low and capture my employees?"
Kiva glanced over. "Care to explain, Tirred?"
Docile gasped as Tirred stepped forward, a darkened look on his face.
"Explain what?"
Kiva grinned. "Tirred helped lure you elves over here so we could further our plan."
"What plan?"
"To make C.H.E.R.U.B. the one and only reviving company in Heaven. If you were to win, that would make us look bad. But if we win, which we will…we don't want guys like you to cause any trouble."
Docile smirked. "You sound as though you're sacred of us. What, we're too 'low class' for you?"
"It's just a way to keep you in line, to not have too many humans flocking to you and losing their way."
"Why would they lose their way when we do exactly the same things as C.H.E.R.U.B.?"
"C.H.E.R.U.B. does what you do, only better. And as far as we know, you haven't made an effort to keep demons in line."
"My Exorcist days are over. Killing or judging demons is not my concern. If you had just let us collaborate with C.H.E.R.U.B. as friends, we wouldn't be in the mess you so dearly made!"
"And if you hadn't made your silly bet against us, you wouldn't be here, humiliated, in the first place."
Docile turned toward Tirred. "Don't expect your paycheck for months, traitor," he growled.
Tirred grit his teeth and turned toward Kiva. He clutched his head several times and strained. "We…we had an agreement. I brought you my employees, they surrendered, you win. I gave Portal my money and resumes. Now let us free so we can do our…new jobs."
"New jobs?" Docile asked, eyebrow raised.
Tirred's eyes glazed over and he went slack again. "Not for you," Tirred said. "I meant for Timmid and I."
Timmid stared at Tirred in disbelief and curiosity as he walked over to her. "You know how E.L.F. struggles in comparison to so many in Heaven. Sure saving lives is important, but what if we could make a difference in an alternative way? To cleanse the evil scum that threatens the lives of humans and the Heavenly Order?"
"By mercilessly killing demons every year? Tirred, demons may be evil but it's up to them to reflect on their sins…in the hopes that they may end up better than before. You say that angels are greater than humans, but demons…they were innocent humans once, too."
"Oh, so now you go for the side of evil?!" they both yelled at the same time.
"It's just tradition, Timmid. What difference would it make for us to change things up a bit…together? We could train and be our own bosses. And C.H.E.R.U.B. could pick up where we left off."
Timmid stared back in thought. Tears threatened to spill from her eyes. "She's using you, Tirred. All of them are. I heard you guys talking when I was waking up. She spied on us and knew that you would be tempted to take up the offer. You help hold E.L.F. together…"
A faraway look came into his eyes, then vanished. Timmid noticed a faint teal glow in his orbs she hadn't noticed before.
"I know you're in there, Tirred. Think of all the fond memories we had. Do you realize how important you are to us?" she asked.
"Or were?" Docile asked. Tirred had been tricked and now he appeared to be in some kind of daze. Although part of it was his own fault. Docile knew of the elaborate mind control spell: the Adina curse. A spell created by a ruthless angel, capable of hypnotizing an entire God-serving army at the extreme. It was barely noticeable to anyone, save for those with trained eyes.
Thankfully, Tirred was under a weaker temporary version of it, but it was still bad news.
Timmid ignored Docile.
"Well, our old life is behind us, Timmid. For our sakes and for Kiva's, let's surrender to C.H.E.R.U.B. and do what she says."
He held out a hand to her…and she promptly spit into his face. He flinched and shook his head.
"I'll never join you, Tirred. Especially when you're not yourself."
"Well then," he turned on his heel. "Enjoy your time in the streets begging for clients and money."
She scoffed and gathered her courage. "Enjoy your time being single."
"Oooooooh," remarked a chubby male cherub before Tirred shoved him aside.
Kiva glanced over at the portal, which hummed with energy. She clapped her hands. "Excellent, they're here!"
Docile gasped softly as the three C.H.E.R.U.B. members flew through the portal. Music box tunes mixed with angelic choirs played in the background as they arrived. The three members briefly flew into the air out from the stage and did aerial tricks.
"Look, it's C.H.E.R.U.B.!" one of the humans called, pointing upwards. The humans at the beach cheered in the sunset as the C.H.E.R.U.B. members happily waved and blew kisses. One of them, Collin, gave a nearby child a brief hug.
The three of them flew back toward Kiva.
"Welcome good sirs and ma'am!" she said to them, arms out.
Cletus, the leader in overalls, stared in surprise at the restrained Docile and Timmid.
"What is the meaning of this? Release those leprechauns immediately!"
"Oh for buck's sake!" Docile cried.
"Trust me," said Kiva. "It's better to have them restrained here until they can fully commit to us. I don't want their rival company to slow us from our progress."
"Why can't they be friends with us? I'm sure they have a lot to offer."
"Precisely my point!" Docile called before getting hit in the back by his captor.
"With all due respect," said Kiva. "You three do your job very well. You've saved so many people on Earth and your message of love and peace knows no bounds. But I suggest you wait until they become new C.H.E.R.U.B.…interns."
"No way," Docile breathed, knowing that the one thing worse than losing his company was being mind-controlled by another.
"We don't want those elves lonely and forgotten. They saw your commercial and were dying to meet you three."
"Dying's never good," Cletus remarked. "'Survive, revive, thrive,' that's our motto."
"Wait," said Collin, "I thought it was 'Good people spread the love.'"
"I'm pretty sure it was 'You live, we give!'" added Keenie with a twirl of her yellow dress.
"Did any of you listen in the last meeting?" Cletus said. "We gotta stick to one motto. Changing too much doesn't help with the branding…"
Kiva cleared her throat. "Time is of the essence, dear friends. It is time to show E.L.F. just how much we're capable of. Starting with the humans and I.M.P."
"The humans are all fine," Keenie said. "Though way too many of them die…and many of them are so mean and so unsophisticated."
Yes," said Collin, "Those freaks who write and draw and drool over all of us in the most obscene ways."
All three C.H.E.R.U.B. members turned and glared at the camera before looking back and smiling again.
"Reviving all of the humans we can…and eliminating the unfaithful…" Kiva added. "And keeping all eyes on those devilish imps in Hell."
"We've tried once before," said Collin sadly, munching on a sugared doughnut he brought with him. "Making friends with them, singing them songs about new hope. They've grown up in such dire conditions with not a lot of opportunities. All they know how to do is kill."
"Perhaps all they need is some love, some music, and a chance to 'relive the afterlife again!'" declared Keenie.
Cletus elbowed her. "I like singing too, but this ain't Disney. You know how angry and jealous those imps are of us. And I'm pretty sure that elf over there is giving us the stink eye."
He pointed down at Timmid.
"Besides, that motto sucks. Too repetitive."
"It is not!"
"It most certainly is."
"No way!"
"Shut the front door!" Collin called abruptly. One of the cherubs shut a lone door that was part of a set of props. "Thank you," said Collin in relief. "I couldn't stand to look at that robotic clown poster."
"Enough!" called an impatient Kiva. She took a breath. "Please, please, my friends…we have work to do. You don't want those demonic creatures to spoil your hard work by killing off more mortals, do you?"
The sheep mumbled in agreement.
Kiva straightened up. "Then let your transformation begin."
The three sheep looked at each other in concern, but complied with their advisor's words. The curtains opened up on both sides, leaving a clear path to the outside. They flew into the air, held hands and then spun in a circle. Kiva held an open Bible in her hands and chanted a spell in the angelic language. The spell had the word YHWH and VVNN-MDRN in it. The sheep spun faster until they became a speeding white circular blur. A glowing white circle appeared against what was left of the setting sun over the ocean.
The gang led the elves on the beach. The sky had a blinding brightness to it…many of the humans gasped and covered their eyes. Some of the people were pointing at the scene and screaming. Everyone except Kiva was surprised, even Tirred almost broke out of his trance with a worried look. Portal and the cherubs stared with worried looks.
One long white angel wing looped in a downward arc against the now golden sky. Then another wing did the same thing. Soon there were six large wings, two pointing down, two wings extended to the sides and two more crossed over slightly above the first two. The wings burst into white flames and glowing yellow eyes slowly appeared on each of them. Golden moving bands slowly materialized around the wings, forming large rings with more eyes on them. Appearing in the white sphere of energy inside everything was a much larger golden eye that almost seemed transparent.
The divine creature pulsed with powerful energy as rays of light shone from the large eye in every direction. Some of the humans ran for their lives while others prostrated onto their knees on the spot.
Docile nodded to Timmid and the two of them whirled around, freeing themselves while the cherubs were distracted. They landed several nimble kicks and punches, knocking them out. The elves took to the sky on their wings. Timmid gasped as an entranced Tirred was lifted into the air by vine-like light from the hybrid monstrosity. As he hovered in the air, the left side of his face slowly morphed into the black skin of an Exorcist.
For one of the first times in her life, Timmid brushed aside her fear. She knocked out another cherub and snatched up a long holy dagger and a bottle of holy water from his belt. Her white hair fluttered in the breeze as she flew toward Tirred over the dark ocean with objects in hand. Tirred was pulled closer to the scrutinizing eye, which began to invade his very soul. Timmid's feet landed on one of the spinning wheels and she raced on, her stretched wings supporting her.
Squelch, squelch, went her feet as she stepped onto the eyes with a look of disgust on her face. She dragged her dagger along behind her, creating a screeching noise and sending off a shower of blood and sparks. The force of the larger wings tried to send her back, but Timmid held on with all her might.
She finally reached Tirred, who tried to shove her away. She reached for his hand and forcefully grabbed his wrist. She tried to pull him out of the golden light bonds, but he wouldn't budge. The golden wheel was tipping dangerously. She slashed her knife forward, cutting the bands loose and freeing her companion. When Tirred almost knocked her down, she slashed lightly at his neck and muttered an apology. He growled out in pain but didn't protest further.
Timmid hoped the holy water would reverse his curse soon.
Just when she was about to open the small bottle, the wheel tilted again, causing her to lose her items and almost fall. Tirred was pushed away by the wind, and he sailed back to the beach. He landed haphazardly in Docile's arms.
"Urgh, I hate that woman," he growled. "Judgement will come to the unfaithful."
"Tirred," Docile said in a rare show of passive-aggressiveness, "Please screw yourself on a sword."
And with that, Docile promptly knocked him out.
Back at the battle, Timmid held onto the spinning ring with both hands. The circular fire of the eye below her flared like a miniature sun, her feet dangling. The more she spun around, the more she almost fell. She screamed for her life, calling on God to rescue her.
More rays of light shot from the large eye toward the beach. In a cemetery, a bunch of recently dead criminals suddenly rose back to life. They stood confused at first, but the gang of men grinned and began to chase after frightened women nearby. More people rose from the dead, some of them spreading their racism toward others. A loving child with a deadly disease raced back toward his parents.
Kiva recited from the Genesis: "…And God said unto them: 'Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it; and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that creepeth upon the earth.'"
"Why are you doing this?!" Docile cried. "You're allowing the Earth to be overpopulated!"
"You save lives too. Don't we not have the same goals?"
"Not to defy the cycles of life! Both C.H.E.R.U.B. and E.L.F. cannot raise the dead!"
It was then that Docile realized: macabre as they were, I.M.P. must exist for a reason…a manifestation of destruction to clash with creation.
"This is chaos! Without death there is no life!"
"And life is never complete when there are demons and sin to led one astray," Kiva replied.
Kiva smiled. "C.H.E.R.U.B. will soon give people a second chance at human life…to prove that they are worthy in His eyes. All the rest will go to Hell upon death, as is tradition."
"But why have second chances when the majority of people go to Hell anyway? There's no justice, even of the vengeful kind. It creates an unfair system!"
"Exactly. A system that may be unfair to some, but it works. It has worked for thousands of years. The worthy get in, the dammed eventually die again. There is nothing in this world that can change that."
"You're wrong," Docile glowered. "Just you wait. Even some demons have good inside them."
Kiva brushed off his comment. She muttered in a low voice, "Search for I.M.P."
Before the remaining disguised cherubs could take off, Docile tripped them and promptly knocked them out.
"I don't need to be an Exorcist to eliminate threats like you," Docile spat.
"Is that so? See for yourself," said Kiva, mentioning to the angel monster. "That divine cherub hybrid sees everything…no one can defeat it head on. And it appears that your employee won't last much longer."
Docile's face fell. He knew there was no way he could reach Timmid in time. With the potential loss of two members, he would be reduced to a lost cause. The cherubs slowly got up, preparing to surround him again.
He held up his hands in defeat, eyes closed. "Just…let us live, we'll do what you want, Kiva I give…"
Docile almost surrendered right then and there.
But upon opening his eyes, he spotted something long and glinting not too far away. The two hovering spears stood inches over the stand, light from the tips supporting the portal.
A last determined look crossed his face. He picked up Tirred in his arms and flapped his wings.
"…you my regards!"
Portal blocked the path to the spears but Docile raised his arms, tossing the unconscious Tirred into the air. Tirred landed against Portal's white face, briefly making him stumble. In the split second that Portal was distracted, Docile charged and rammed his head against him as hard as he could. Portal stumbled backward, bumping into the podium. He, Tirred and the stand crashed to the floor, taking the spears with them.
"Docile…" thought Timmid.
Timmid closed her eyes and her spear appeared by Docile's feet. He pushed himself up and grabbed the weapon.
The other two spears slowly made their way back into position…
Whack!
With a well-aimed swipe, Docile's spear cut through the other ones like sticks. The broken spears clattered to the ground, the light fading from their tips.
Timmid cried a river of tears, unable to hold any longer. Her hands slipped from the ring and she began to fall with a yell.
The creature suddenly vanished in a shower of white light, and Timmid plummeted into the ocean. She bobbled her head and reached the surface with several gasping breaths of relief. She looked up and saw the three C.H.E.R.U.B. members defusing. The sheep shook their heads before hugging each other.
"Man that was horrible!" exclaimed Keenie.
"It felt like my wool was on fire," Collin added.
"Kiva always was a female dog," Cletus added. "We gotta make sure this event doesn't get out!"
They all glanced down at Timmid with wide cute eyes. "We're sorry!" they all sang.
Timmid just glared suspiciously.
The three members flew back through a portal.
"This isn't over!" Kiva called, summoning another portal. But for some reason, she and her gang couldn't get through.
Deerie, a deer cherub floated toward Kiva from the colorful opening. She summoned glasses and a clipboard.
"Yeah, no, sorry dear, but you cannot re-enter Heaven now."
"What?!" she screeched.
"Since you've been messing with the affairs of humans, and seeing as how you failed in your mission to bring down I.M.P…yeah, no, sorry. And reviving humans is a big no no."
She happily waved with a "Bye!" and went through the portal.
"No!" Kiva cried, extending a hand as the portals closed and the sigil disappeared.
Kiva seethed as her human disguised cherubs surrounded her. The gang walked to the beach. Docile grabbed another bottle of holy water and poured it down the still Tirred's throat. He muttered a prayer and felt the last of the mind numbing magic dissipate away. Tirred's wounds healed up and the Exorcist features faded to reveal his normal face. He was free of the spell.
Tirred's eyes fluttered open and he groaned. "D-Docile?"
Timmid raced over, dripping wet and hugged him.
"What happened?" Tirred asked.
"You were being conned into working for Kiva and being a total ass," Docile deadpanned.
"I'm truly sorry. I let my desires led me astray…"
"It's okay," Docile said. "I gotta have a talk with my former boss. And get us some new spears."
The elves walked onto the beach and met Kiva and her cherubs. Sunna came skipping back.
Kiva smirked when she saw Docile. "That was handled rather…obvious, don't you think?"
"I'll say," said Timmid. She and Docile raised their summoned golden staffs into the air, mind-wiping the surrounding humans. The formerly frightened and concerned people went about their day without a care in the world. With a gut-wrenching feeling and tears, Docile sent the revived maniacs back to their graves, restoring the balance of life.
Timmid continued. "Would be a shame if anyone found out you guys unlocked a secret evil form of C.H.E.R.U.B., along with helping to push a sinister agenda that could ignite a rebellion in Hell and a soon to be World War Three. Oh right, you just got banished!"
"Oh Jesus! You and your crazy conspiracy theories," Tirred sputtered to her. He turned to the cherubs. "You guys will be screwed, screwed, screwed!"
"Yeah," Kiva began. "Well you three will at least be in trouble for going against a canon organization and not wearing your disguises the whole time!"
"Snitch, a human called me a leprechaun. I am not a bucking leprechaun," Docile added. He stepped closer. "You know, we could keep your little Viv cartoon agenda on the down low if you allow us to keep our company…and my parking spot!"
Kiva scoffed. "Fine."
"Yes!" Docile cheered. "We won! In your face, psychotic sheep!"
"Come on gang, let's get out of here," Kiva said with a sneer. "Tal!"
"Guess I gotta bounce," said Portal to Sunna. "Feel free to give me a call sometime."
Sunna blushed and said, "Will do."
"Stop on by for my girlfriend's feline parties. Let's get you living the life!"
Portal walked away and followed Kiva up the stairs and onto the street. Kiva and her gang were quickly surrounded by police on horseback and drawn guns.
"Alright disciples," said Kiva, "Get ready to atone for a lot of your sins."
Her gang groaned in defeat as they raised their hands in surrender.
A portal was created in the air. Timmid carried Tirred through, while Sunna followed Docile. The portal closed and they were back in Heaven.
"Hallelujah!" Docile cheered as they parked their silver van in their rightful spot in front of E.L.F. headquarters. Off in the distance, the four women drove the chariot through another portal to the parallel Heaven.
"That was an unpleasant curse," Tirred said. "I didn't even realize I said those mean things to you."
"It's still partially your fault," Timmid reminded him. "You still secretly wanted to be an Exorcist and get a taste of power. Sin can get anyone, even angels it seems." Tirred hung his head.
"Yep," Docile agreed. They got out of the van and headed back to the office. They met in the hallway. Docile smirked. "In fact, you can prove your loyalty to our company by scrubbing down the rooms from top to bottom."
Sunna came back from a closet and handed Tirred a mop and a bucket.
"Seriously?"
"What goes around comes around," Sunna mentioned.
"We cannot afford a lot of things right now…including losing someone so hardworking," said Docile. "I know things can be a bit rough between us but Timmid still has faith in you. We always have."
Tirred gave them a small genuine smile.
"Don't focus on what could be," Timmid said, giving him a hug. "Focus on what is…right now."
Tirred hugged her back, breaking into silent sobs.
"Are you…crying?" Docile asked.
"No sir!" he growled, letting go of Timmid. "You guys are still a bunch of airheaded wimps."
"Now that's the old Tirred we love!" Sunna said, back to her sunny personality.
"Alright Tirred, get to work," Docile ordered. "Timmid, Sunna, let's have some angel food cake to celebrate."
Sunna licked her lips. "Sounds yummy!"
Tirred grumbled as he cleaned.
Meanwhile, back in the first Heaven, Collin the cherub sheep flew up toward the screen with a child-like smile and a wink.
"See you in the next episode!" he sang.
DID YOU KNOW?
During his time in the Chasity Halo (opposite of the Ring of Lust with Blitzo), Docile had a loving female friend named Veronica (Verosika's true opposite). She had pale teal skin, white hair, white wings and dresses rimmed with gold. Unlike Verosika, Veronica sang love songs to bring joy to others. She was happy, cheerful and modest. In fact, she had cupid abilities and was part cherub. (like how it's theorized that Blitzo is part succubus, and Verosika works for Asmodeus, it is rumored that Veronica is affiliated with Uriel.) Feeling he had no choice, Docile joined the Exorcists and clashed with his self-righteous supervisor Kiva, growing apart from Veronica for a while. Kiva and Veronica are related.