Waking Marian

Regina gave a long sad look upon the heart she holds in her hand.

Now that the curse is finally broken and the Snow Queen gone, Marian, her truelove's wife, is finally free from the curse of a frozen heart. She must face facts, Robin must've loved her now, but Marian - Marian is his wife, the mother of his only son, the woman he chose to spend the rest of his life with - and with those things mentioned, Regina knows who is on the upper hand - and that is not her... UNLESS she keep Marian in this state - half alive and half dead.

"Regina can save my mamma, right 'R'gina?" Roland's little voice keep on ringing at the back of Regina's mind, seeing the hopeful look upon that little boy's eyes and the weary gaze that clouded Robin's eyes, she knows she have to let go of her personal interests and do the right thing... for Robin, for Roland and for herself...

Just let her die...

Half of her mind - the part where the selfish evil queen still exists had been telling her...

With her out of the picture you can be happy with your soul mate.. You can have what you always wanted, your own happy ending...

After all, how hard is it to crush that fragile thing she holds beneath the palm of her hand? One strong squeeze, she could instantly kill the woman lying before her. JUST ONE STRONG SQUEEZE SHE COULD TURN THE BEATING HEART INTO ASHES...

I am not that person anymore. Regina kept telling herself, reminding herself of how far she'd gone to become the person she is now.

Are you sure?

Once again, at the back of her mind, she could see herself crushing the heart in her hand. She was smiling as she watch the heart turn to dust as it slowly pour from her hands... it felt good..

I AM NO LONGER HER.

Regina told herself as she shook her mind out of the vision that clouded her thoughts.

With enough conviction, she hastily returned Marian's heart to its rightful place, fearing that if she held it a little longer, the temptation might be too much to bear and she might just yield into it.

Marian gasped as she awoke from her deathly slumber and gazed upon Robin. The woman looks directly at Regina's direction with fear and surprise and then at Robin's direction as if trying to recognize the people standing before her.

"Robin!" Marian breathed with happiness as she saw her own husband standing before her.

He is there with her... waiting for her to wake up... Marian hastily stood up and threw her arms around her husband as if she was clinging for her dear life. God it felt good... and it felt strange...

Robin's embrace was like nothing she remembered. There is no familiar longing or excitement that she used to feel whenever she is with him. It is like being with the same man but a totally different person. But she doesn't care, she's alive, that is what matter for the moment.

Does it hurt? Regina (or perhaps her evil half) mockingly asked herself as Robin return Marian's embrace.

If you had only crushed the heart you could have saved yourself from all the trouble tsk tsk.

That is no longer me. Regina told herself as she return Robin's imploring gaze at her. I am no longer the evil queen that everyone feared and hated. I am Regina now, and I want to remain this way in his eyes, I want to be the woman he loved.

Slowly Regina gave Robin a weak smile as she shifted her gaze away as if trying to hide the pain from pouring out her brown orbs.

She did the right thing...

Who would've thought being good could be this complicated?

Do you have any idea how weird and awkward it felt like to walk beside the man you love and his family- by family, it means your true love, his wife (that you once or twice tried to kill) and their adorable son?

The uneasy sense of being on the sidelines- of being the third wheel, it is the last thing Regina wanted to feel after doing something right over and over again. If it was for her choice she would have left these three and walk away - and yet here she is - doing the exact opposite- and worse - torturing herself.

Enough is enough Regina thought as she decided to leave the three unnoticed and with a heavy heart and swollen ankles (FYI it is not easy to walk from the woods to the main streets with a 4 inch heels clucking beneath her weight) she gracefully sat upon her favorite seat at Granny's counter table.

She could feel the boring gaze of the townsfolk at her direction. Good god- she wanted to incinerate them all! Regina's body stiffens in every time the diner door rings - knowing that anytime soon someone will approach her with another you-did-the-right-thing-speech.

That is the last thing she will need to hear.

And then as if someone was actually trying to mock her. Someone stood behind her at stare directly at her direction as if trying to mentally communicate at her.

Dammit Swann!

"Please, I'd rather be alone." Regina exasperatedly muttered as she felt the ominous presence behind her. She already exhausted her last energy trying to stand tall and wear her placid facade in front of them all and a hope speech is the last thing she'll need today.

And then as if mocking her - that person actually took a seat to the stool beside her.

"I thought we should talk."

Regina suddenly snapped her head from the source of the voice only to see Marian looking at her with a warm smile. She is unsure if the woman was actually trying to make amends or make fun of her. At this moment her rational judgment for a person's genuine intention are a bit cloudy. Especially with this woman who might take away her happiness.

"Thank you for saving my life," Marian said as she noticed how Regina tried to shift away from her direction., " twice actually" she added as she felt how awkward it feels like to be saved by a woman who wanted her dead just a couple of weeks ago.

"Forget about it." Regina replied with a smile - if there is one thing she had like about Marian it is her humble attitude.

"I can't-" Marian said while she stare directly at Regina's face - this time, her smile is long gone and there was a sense of reluctance at her voice "because Robin can't. I see the way you look to one another and I understand. For me, it's only been a short time that I had been away." Marian's voice trailed off as if she is afraid to tell the words she is about to say.

There was an undeniable sense of sadness that could be traced on the woman's voice.

"But for him, years had passed. His heart moved on. He's in love with you, Regina and I think you're in love with him." there was a little tremble in her voice. Heaven knows how much she was in pain at that moment.

"That doesn't really matter." Regina smiled sadly at Marian, "he is a man of honor, he made a vow to you and he's going to keep it." Regina look directly at Marian's eyes, trying to assure the woman that whatever happens - Robin will choose his family and that she is willing to step away... as far away as possible.

"I don't want him to be with me out of obligation - I want to be chosen." Marian replied, "If his heart will lead him to me fine - but if it does what I suspect and it leads him to you..." Marian's voice began to trail away as her eyes began to water and her lips began to tremble - she was a complete vision of a woman who had just got her heart broken and as if trying to muster her last strength she continued,"... I will step out of the way."

With these last words, Marian left Regina pondering at her last words knowing that if she stayed longer she will just die of a broken heart. But for Regina, those words gave her a flicker of hope knowing that there is still a slim chance that she and Robin could still be together.

At that moment, Snow's words keep running in her mind.

When you do good, the universe takes care of you.

For once - the foolish princess was right. Things are going her way.

Regina sat silently with Robin on the bench as the man watch his wife and his son feeding the ducks at the lake, having fun and enjoying each other's company.

Her heart sank as she realized what will happen next. He is leaving her... Again...

"They look happy." Regina said casually while trying to hide the worries she's feeling. She need to hear Robin's decision now before hope start to spring and then be crushed later on. The suspense is killing her already.

"Having Marian back to his life - it means so much to him." Robin replied with a smile on his lips and his eyes focused in his little man.

"I understand," Regina replied sadly, "At the end of the day, our children should come first."

"Regina -" Robin shifted his seat and stare at Regina, confused.

"She's his mother." Regina finished off his sentence in as-a-matter-of-fact kind of tone - she would rather blurt it out rather than hearing it from him.

She had rehearsed this scene at the back of her mind over and over again and yet - she had never thought it would be as difficult as this.

But Robin... he is just making things even harder, he was just sitting there, staring at her with an amused smile.

"I choose you." Robin replied with a sheepish smile on his lips.

Regina snorted, thinking that what she heard was a just a result of her hopeful imagination, but seeing the love and sincerity seeping through Robin's eyes, it felt surreal.

"But... Roland?" she said doubtfully, "what would this look like to him?"

"It's gonna look like a messy, complicated situation which it is." Robin looks at his son's direction as if pondering how the future will be like for him and his family "but if I live back to my life with Marian, I'd been living a lie. The best example that I can set to my son is to live truthfully, to follow my heart..." his unwavering gaze from his son shifted to the direction of the woman who hold his heart. "To you..."

With this final confession, Robin turns out his pockets to reveal the page 23rd of Henry's book, the page wherein they should have shared their first kiss. The page where in Regina had chosen her happiness over power... her love over vengeance.

At that moment, Regina felt an overwhelming sense of happiness, the certain kind of happiness that she hasn't felt for a very long time.

But just like before... It couldn't last.

The future that she picture in the back of her mind with Robin dissipated from her thought at the very moment Roland cried out for help.

Marian was lying on the ground, unconscious and her body was covered with frost.

Robin rushed in the direction of his son and his wife lying unconscious on the ground.

Everything that happened next is a complete blur for Regina, it was so fast that all she remember are bits and pieces of memories of her telling or rather convincing Robin to leave Storybrooke and live in a land without magic in order to save Marian. And the thought that it may be the very last moment that she and Robin will be together – before the moment that she will lose him forever…

Regina sat silently in her car, watching Robin saying his goodbyes to his Merry Men, and from time to time staring at her direction as if his eyes were trying to communicate with her.

Rumplestiltskin was right, if she would just let Marian die… If she would just…

NO!

Regina shook her head as her grip on the steering wheel tightened and her visions turned red, her thoughts starts to frighten her – it was as if the Evil Queen inside her is somehow trying slip through her defenses and starting to slowly take over her once again. This madness should stop NOW.

Regina step out of the car and with a heavy heart she briskly walk towards Robin who had been waiting for her. His eyes are already glistening with his unshed tears.

The sooner they get over this, the lesser pain they will have to inflict upon themselves.

"The diner I told you about is just a few miles down the road," Regina said in haste, hoping that casual talking will take her mind off the pain that she was suffering at the moment.

"Right." Robin took a look at the direction that Regina pointed out, and then back to her, "Uh – Regina-"

"And do you have the map that I gave you? And – and the money, so you shall have plenty to get you start with." Regina babbled on as if trying not to let Robin speak any word that might make their separation more difficult.

"Yes but-"

"Good." Regina cut him off once again, "then you should go."

"Thank you."

Regina just gave him a weak smile knowing that Robin is suffering the same pain that she feels.

She had been in the same situation over and over again, she had said her goodbyes to too many people that she hold dear to her heart – but this – this is the most painful separation that she had ever felt.

She doesn't wish to push Robin away, but the sooner they get this done with, the sooner they could save Marian and end the pain and agony that this separation is giving them.

Regina witnessed at how Marian's health starts to deteriorate and with this she knows she shouldn't waste any more time.

"She needs to cross the line, NOW."

Robin held his wife close, as if he was trying to be the strength that the woman is starting to lose at the moment. But his legs are also giving him away. As much as he tried to take a step towards the townline – the heavier his legs – his whole body seem to be.

"You must go, I'll be right behind you, I promise, I just need a moment."

Marian stare weakly at Robin and then back to Regina.

"Thank you," Marian breath out before she slowly turns her back and took a step outside the town line.

And with that, Regina silently watch as Marian's skin turn back to its natural glow and her health had return the very moment they went out of Storybrooke.

How Roland's face lit with happiness knowing that his mother is back to her vitality and how Marian carry the little boy in her arms with the kind of love the Regina could have given him, if only things were different.

But it is not.

"Robin?" Marian called out as she realized she was standing in the middle of nowhere – with no one else but her son by her side. She felt scared, not only for herself but also for her son's wellbeing.

Robin is a man of honor, Marian knows it very well, but with Regina in the equation, there is an uncertainty that Robin will choose them over her. Seeing the look in his eyes, the way they look at each other, it might only take a miracle for him to choose her – for him to choose them.

And if he choose her – The Queen – she will be lost.

"Your family is waiting, go."

Slowly, he turns his back away from her. From the future he sees that they could have shared together

Robin could hear his heart breaking in a million shards as he heard Regina uttering those words. He could see the pain she is trying to hide beneath those eyes, the sadness she is trying to conceal beneath her placid façade.

The Regina he knows is once again, hiding behind the Queen that everyone had seen her to be, the Queen that is incapable of pain, of vulnerability, of weakness.

But he could see past the charade that his true love is so skilled at doing.

Just one more step and he will be out of Storybrooke forever. But never does he thought a burdened heart could weigh more than all the gold that he stole in the past because at that very moment, he could even hardly lift his foot to take that one last step towards the town line.

He can't leave – not until he told Regina what he wanted to say all this time.

And with these thoughts, he quickly took a step back – back to the woman who holds his heart – the woman he wanted to spend the remaining moments of his life.

There is no way that he could tell her those words without breaking into tears- so he just let his kiss express everything that his words could never accomplish.

He doesn't care if his merry men see this moment of vulnerability with their leader because at that moment – that very moment- all he cares about is Regina and what will happen to her without him by her side.

He deepens the kiss as he lovingly caress her cheeks. And when Regina ended their kiss, all he could do is close his eyes to stop his tears from falling.

"I.." love you.. Robin tried to speak out the words but his throat is too constricted with the tears he is trying to keep at bay.

"I know…" Regina interrupted; knowing that hearing those words from him will just make the separation even more difficult. She knows how broken Robin was at that moment, and she needs to be strong for him, to show that she will be fine even without him by her side. Besides, she no longer needs the confirmation coming from his lips for her heart already knows.

Her heart already understands.

So he took his hands off her face and tried to gently push him away.

But Robin refused to let go. He just held her hand as he slowly took a step backwards, towards the town line where his family is waiting for him.

He just stare into her direction, he just held her hand as his vision of her starts to blur the moment he finally stepped out of the town line.

Please don't let go… Robin wished with his whole heart as she tried to paint the last vision of the Queen before her face fades as his whole body had left the town line and only their hands connect them together in between reality of the world they will be trapped in to.

But what hurt him most was the moment Regina had let go of his hand, that moment he knew she was lost to him forever.

And with that thought, the tears that he had been trying to hide had flow freely upon his cheeks and down to the streets where their path will no longer meet.

With these thoughts, he turns his back to where the town limits used to stand. He will find her again. They will find each other again.

He knows in his heart they'll find each other again, he knows in his heart because he have FAITH.

Faith that all - everything between them is just all about timing.

Regina just stood there, on the edge of the town, her eyes glistening with the tears she's holding back as she watched Robin's eyes stare blankly at her direction and as she watched his tears fall down his cheek.

So much for HOPE…

So much for FAITH…

She should've known – she should've believed sooner that villains don't get happy ending. If she did, perhaps she will not be hurting in a way she is hurting right now.

This is goodbye…

This is her final thought as she dug her hands in the pocket of her coat, and much to her surprise, she found the folded page of what could've been the page 23 of Henry's book. And this realization hit her.

She couldn't change what's already been done.

She and Robin are already over even before they even begun.

So with a heavy heart, she walk away from the direction of the town line as she tore the page of the book into pieces and as she scattered it on the ground as the wind slowly scatter the broken pieces on the dirt road just the same way as her wishful dreams of a happy ending ENDS…

Not far from where Regina's car was parked, pair of hateful eyes is watching the former mayor as she brokenly drive away from the town boundary. Now that the former Queen was at her weakest, it's the perfect time for him to enact the thing he wanted to do for a very long time. Vengeance. She's broken like a fragile bird who had just lost its ability to fly. Things couldn't be better for him for he knows that his next actions will make the Queen fall on her knees and beg for her dear life. With his camera at hand he took a last pictures of the mayor that he could add to his collections.

Heaven knows that he wanted Regina so bad he could taste it. It's about time that the Evil Queen have the taste of her own terrible medicine.

That is all so far folks, thank you very much once again for reading my fanfic, I hope you enjoy it. Lots of love, Besos!