Chapter 2

Lucy woke up on the couch, a soft blanket covering her. It was warm, and she burrowed under it as a confused nervousness ate at her.

The couch was comfortable. She'd splurged on it a few weeks after she'd purchased her new bed with pink bedding. Even with her thinning pocket money, Lucy adored the couch's comforting cushions and loved-on seats, but now as she lay on it, all she wanted to do was hide in a ball and wallow in an eclectic combination of exhaustion, regret, anxiety, and an unpleasant pressure in the back of her mind that something wasn't right.

She poked her head out of the blanket and glanced towards the hallway leading towards the door. She knew he had already left, but a new wash of sorrow swept over her when she saw his shoes gone from the doorway.

Lucy leaned back and her hair spread on the back of the armrest. Her right arm covered her eyes. She felt like after all the fighting she did, she should be more upset, but she just felt empty. And tired. Tired of making a mess and hiding from monsters in the dark. Tired of pushing others away and clinging too tightly to others. Tired of feeling so selfish and doubting every move she made. A small part of her wondered if she was just being a typical teenager and everyone thought like this. And part of her wasn't comforted by the thought. Part of her wanted to hold onto her anxiety. It made her different. And everyone wanted to be special. Right?

Lucy puffed out her cheeks and let out a huff of air. Small tears pricked the corners of her eyes, and she slowly dropped her arm and started to clench and unclench her fists. Her legs swung of the side of the couch, and she reached under one of the cushions. A cold metal object found its way in her hand. Lucy brought it out and examined the pocket knife as she drew the knife part out using her finger nails.

With her right hand, she aimlessly poked the skin on her left wrist. She pressed harder at a certain spot on an old scar. A small pain at the end of the blade made her cringe. She slid the blade down. No blood came forth. Her pale skin gave way, but it seemed to bounce back quickly. She's have to put more pressure on the knife. She dropped the blade on the floor, and touched the spot she'd prodded. It was warm.

Lucy bit her lip and rubbed her face. "You are safe. You're at home. You can relax," she said aloud. As usual her body didn't listen.

She clenched her hand again and her nails bit into the flesh of her palms. "No, let go." It stayed clenched. "Let go. Come on," she pleaded with herself. Slowly, her fingers spread out. "Okay. Now let's play some music," she continued to direct herself. Stiffly, she walked to her bedroom and grabbed the phone charging on the bedside table. She opened the lock screen and swiped to find the green app. She pressed shuffle on her favorited songs and put her phone in her back pocket before leaning against the wall. "Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds" began playing and a crease between her eyebrows smoothed.

"Good. Now rinse your face and then get something to eat." Once her makeshift dinner was in the microwave, she relaxed a little and then even more as she ate broccoli and mac and cheese.

She cleaned up quickly and looked around feeling acutely alone. She was already packed up for school tomorrow. Lucy wrung her hands. She caught herself rubbing her wrists. She stopped. "Okay. Reading. Reading is good."

Lucy kept muttering little comments to herself. It kept her moving. Just one little thing to do at a time. Eventually the day wore out, and after she brushed her teeth and lay in bed in her white cotton shorts and light pink shirt, she let herself remember what she had continued to block out. She stretched on the bed, the comforter cool against her bare legs. It sunk under her weight and a small barrier went up against the rest of the world.

Gray and she had been dating for just about one year, but they had also been childhood friends. Lucy didn't have many friends. There was Levy and maybe a few others who she knew and liked, but Levy didn't have any classes with her this year and had grown respectfully distant.

But Gray stayed with her. He was caring, smart attractive, brave, and adorably ignorant at times. Lucy didn't understand he told her he wanted to break-up. She was completely caught unaware and startled. To say in the least, she didn't take it well. "Oh God." She rolled over and sighed into her pillow.

Lucy didn't have anyone except Gray. Her parents were...away, and she was stupidly scared of the whole damn school. She knew her fears were mostly irrational, but that hadn't helped her much. To see him leaving took her completely the wrong way. She needed more time, and then maybe a bit more.

He had been kind before he left. He watched over her. Gave her some food, set up the TV. Tried to comfort her before she pushed him away and hid in the corner of the couch before falling asleep. He didn't understand. It wasn't a big deal. Their new relationship hadn't given them much more then friendship. And now they would still be friends. And Lucy felt silly. Fear made her so stupid. She thrust her face back into her pillow. She shifted and tried to relax the muscles that had tightened in her musings. "It's okay," Lucy whispered to herself. "You will be okay." She gave an unconvincing smile and closed her eyes.

Thanks for reading! Hope you enjoyed! Sorry. This was kind of a filler chapter, but I think Lucy needed a break. We'll meet Natsu soon. Please fav, follow, and review, just a click away! Thanks!