answers to reviewers questions and statements:
MCRasengan: Eh, it wont be that long of a gag, only until we get to the events of Galuna Island which will go down a bit differently compared to what we saw in the anime/manga.
Fenrir44: Out of all of those, I can see flare and Briar being in the harem considering where I'm taking this story.
Mr Guest: I don't see a reason why Yukino can't be in the harem with her sister.
Phantom Symbiote: In terms of raw physical power, he's arguably the strongest after Makarov.
Disclaimer: I don't own any Marvel or Fairy Tail characters seen, mentioned or used.
"Welcome to the Silver Spoon Café!" said a warm bubbly hostess as Peter, dressed in a white shirt with a black jacket, pants and shoes, entered with Mirajane, clad in a beautiful red strapless dress, on his arm.
"Hello" Peer said with a friendly wave "Table for two please"
"Of course, right this way sir and ma'am!" the hostess said as she grabbed two menus and quickly led Peter and Mirajane further into the restaurant.
"Ooh Erza was right, this place is nice" Mirajane said as she looked around to see more of the tables and chairs had silver lining.
On the ceiling was several large silver chandeliers that produced a silvery light which reflected off the various silverware and decorations scattered throughout the room. It seemed the 'Silver Spoon Café' was living up to the 'silver' part of it's name aside from the prices of their food and drinks. Mirajane has heard nothing but good reviews about the place since it opened and had always wanted to go there but could never find the time in her busy schedule to do so until tonight.
"Is it healthy to have this much silver lying around?" Peter said as he looked around the place with a furrowed brow "I swear I'm gonna get metal poisoning from this place!"
Mirajane giggled at this before she pushed herself closer to Peter and whispered "Don't worry honey, I'll just... suck it out"
Peter blushed at the choice of words from the white haired beauty as they arrived at their table, next to a window that gave them a lovely view of Lake Scilliora as the sun began to set in the distance. The red and orange light reflected off the mirror like surface of the lake, giving it the illusion that it was made of sun fire while than water. Peter watched as Mirajane stared in awe at the scenery while he pulled her seat out for her before scooting it in and taking his own.
"So what's the special occasion?" Mirajane said as she watched Peter sit down and scoot up to the table "Our one year anniversary isn't for another month"
"What, can't I treat you to something special for a change?" Peter said with a chuckle 'Also, good to know that our anniversary is next month. Now I just gotta remember the exact date'
Not long after they took their seats, a young waitress around Peter and Mirajane's age appeared and took their orders. She wasn't bad looking, what with her raven black hair, bright yellow eyes and curvy figure and flirtatious personality. But Peter's eyes remained almost solely on Mirajane while the waitress was present, much to her annoyance and Mirajane's pleasure. It was always nice to see she was the center of Peter's attention even when their was other attractive women around.
'Hopefully she takes Peter's lack of interest as a hint' Mirajane thought with a giggle 'I'd hate to have to... talk to her'
It took quite a bit of effort on Mirajane's part to snatch the cute nerdy wizard that was Peter Parker and she wasn't gonna lose him to another woman anytime soon. She already had enough issues subtly diverting the most of the women in the Guild's interest in him, last thing she needed was to start turning her attention to women outside the guild.
'Than again, he's usually wearing his helmet and hood when he's out on a job, so that lowers thee risk of some random girl seeing how cute he is' Mirajane thought as she took the time to admire Peter's face.
He wasn't so breathtakingly handsome that it left her weak in the knees and her heart beating a mile a minute, but he was plenty cute enough. Combine that with his good natured personality and natural talents of the intimate nature, Mirajane's sure she struck gold.
"So, any new gossip going on?" Peter asked as he scanned through the menu that he and Mirajane were offered, they had a lot of pasta dishes here.
"Oh nothing too juicy" Mirajane said with a laugh "Just the usual. Though I think Jet and Droy are mustering up the courage to ask Levy out again"
Peter couldn't help but shake his head at this "Poor bastards..."
"I guess they think that since Levy hasn't dated anyone since that Gargan fellow that means they have a shot again" Mirajane said with a slightly exasperated look on her face.
"Pretty sure that Gargan more or less turned Levy off from dating anyone ever again" Peter said with a shake of his head.
Mac Gargan was once one of the most powerful members of Fairy Tail and a contender for S-class before it came to light just how horrible of a person he was. It came as a surprise to everyone since the man seemed so friendly up until the revelation. Erza, the one that brought Gargan to the Guild in the first place, was left rather depressed and moody for a few months. And Levy, Mac's girlfriend at the time, was in an even worse state.
'Got so bad she was prevented from going on missions because the Master thought she may have gotten herself hurt or worse... intentionally' Peter thought with a shiver before he heard Mirajane gasp dramatically as she started at something behind him.
Curious, Peter turned around and looked for what could have aroused such a reaction out of Mirajane before he saw it and felt his eyes widen "No way..."
Not too far away from the two sat Bisca and her partner Alzack Connell on what seemed to be... a date. For months now the two have been denying being in any sort of romantic relationship and that they were strictly good close friends. Though from what Peter and Mirajane were seeing, friends did not act like how they were acting. In fact, their interactions and the looks were giving one another were a lot like Peter and Mirajane's, only theirs seemed... deeper.
"Dang... I owe Macao twenty Jewels now" Peter said with a whistle as he turned back towards Mirajane only to sweatdrop at the hearts in her eyes and how the air seemed to sparkle around her as she looked at the apparent couple not too far from them.
"Aww, their soo cute together!" she gushed "Almost as cute as us, huh Peter?"
"I guess" Peter said with a shrug.
"I wonder if they noticed us..." Mirajane said as she tapped her chin in thought.
Peter blinked at this and looked back at the two and felt himself smirk as he noticed Alzack see them and pale. Mirajane smiled and waved at him which in turn caused him to wave in response with a shaky hand and a nervous grin. Bisca seemed confused by this and followed her date's gaze only to adopt a similar reaction when she saw Peter or more specifically, the biggest gossiper in all of Fairy Tail, Mirajane Strauss.
Mirajane gave the two a small wave and a devilish grin that caused them to pale even further before the white haired beauty returned her attention back to Peter as their food finally arrived. Peter settled for a salad with more dressing, pieces of bread and bits of chicken than a sandwich while she settled for a nice medium rare steak.
"So, have you decided if your going to join a team yet? Or make your own?" Mira asked as she prodded at her food with her fork before taking a piece of it and taking a small bite from it.
"Not yet" Peter said with a shake of his head as he looked down at his salad before stabbing his fork into it like it stole from him "Natsu's been asking if I wanna form a team with him but..."
"Don't want to get dragged into his brand of craziness?" Mira guessed with a laugh.
"That, and I wanna actually get paid" Peter said with a huff as he kept stabbing at his food until he had a good size of salad on it and shoved it into his mouth.
"Well you could always make a team with Cana" Mirajane teased with a grin as she rubbed her foot against Peter's shin in a suggestive manner "You two do go on a lot of jobs together... alone... it's enough to give me the wrong idea"
"Huh, what idea?" Peter said with visible confusion.
"Oh nothing" Mirajane said with a bright grin that caused Peter's heart to flutter.
Seriously, how was it that he was able to not only score a date with Mirajane in the first place, but end up as her boyfriend to boot? When word got out, spread by Mirajane no doubt, almost overnight he became both the bane of all men within the Guild and the source of emerald green envy. The only guy that didn't seem to care that Peter was dating Mirajane was Natsu, if it wasn't fighting related or a way to find his foster father Igneel, he didn't tend to care too much, if at all.
'Wish I could say the same for Elfman' Peter thought with a sigh as he remembered the 'Manly' conversation the Strauss brother gave Peter.
It was without a doubt the most contradicting conversation he's ever had with anyone. It was also the single most times he's ever heard the word 'Man' in just about every form it had under the sun. Like Peter was certain eighty percent of the words that Elfman used were 'Man'.
"Well about the new girl, Lucy?" Mirajane suggested with a wiggle of her eye brows "She seems nice"
"She strikes me as the type that if the job doesn't have a large reward, she wont be too interested" Peter replied "Plus, most of my quests aren't all that flashy so she might get bored"
"The jobs you take aren't boring" Mirajane said with a comforting smile "I mean, what's boring about removing a flesh eating curse from a man's watch after he cheated on a Wizard with her sister?"
"The research part" Peter said with a chuckle "And the ritual to remove the curse. Contrary to what the movies show, it's not as dramatic and horrifying as they make it seem. If it is, than you messed up at some point or what your removing isn't really a curse"
If there's one thing that Peter can say, it was that no one in the Guild barring Master Makarov knew curses quite like he did. In fact, had he been a S-class Mage by now, Makarov said he would've had Peter take the request from Galuna Island.
"When maybe she'll find it a bit of an education..." Mirajane said with a laugh as she continued to rub Peter's leg with her foot as they continued their meal.
Their chatter after that mainly revolved around some things that Peter's seen or heard of while he was on jobs and Mirajane kept him up to date on the latest gossip to reach her ears. So far it was business as usual with really the only thing be new was that Nab had not only picked a request in record time, he picked another! Such a thing was nearly unprecedent and Peter risked a glance outside the window to see if it was raining fire.
"They weren't very hard jobs, and they were both in Magnolia" Mirajane said with a small shrug as she finished her meal "Still, baby steps"
"Very small baby steps" Peter said with a nod as he finished the last of his salad "So, do you want dessert?"
"No, I'm good" Mirajane said with a grin.
"You sure?" Peter said with a raised brow "It wont be a problem. I can afford it"
He may be called Fairy Tail's poorest Fairy but he wasn't that poor!
"I know, but I'm full. That steak was more filling than I thought" Mirajane revealed with a wave of her hand "You can order something though"
"But that'll look weird" Peter said with a frown "I may not be an expert on dating, but even I know that getting and eating dessert while the lady doesn't is considered a dick move"
"Or maybe I just don't want to order anything so that way when you order something, I can have some of it too" Mirajane said.
"Why would I pay for only half of a dessert, if I'm lucky to even get that?!" Peter said with a look of disbelief "Have you seen the prices for their ice cream here?"
"Because that's what good boyfriends do" Mirajane said with a bright smile.
"Yeah, good ones with deep pockets maybe" Peter whined.
"Your being overly dramatic" Mirajane rolled her eyes in amusement at Peter's behavior before she gave Peter a look of mock anger "Now get me- I mean yourself some dessert so we can share"
"UGH!" Peter sounded as he signaled for their waitress "Fine... I hope you gain like eight pounds from what you eat"
"I wouldn't worry about that" Mirajane said with a knowing grin "I'll be burning off the calories later anyhow"
Peter frowned at this and turned back towards Mirajane "What do you mean by that?"
"You'll see" she responded in a sing song voice 'And feel, kukukuku'
...
"That was a lovely dinner Peter" Mirajane said as she and Peter made their way down a sparsely lit street towards Mirajane's home a little over an hour later.
"Any time" Peter said with a grin.
"Oh, any time huh?" Mirajane said coyly "So, maybe every night?"
Peter paled as he quickly added up the costs "Uhhh…"
Mirajane giggled at this "Oh relax Peter, I'm just teasing"
"I know" Peter said with a nervous laugh 'Please for the love of god be joking!'
Despite the fact he wasn't a very large spender of the money he gets from his jobs, and the fact he takes so many, despite how low of a reward they offer, he didn't have much to his name. Most of his money goes towards his apartment and the equipment needed to maintain his Stingers. Than there was buying the materials he needs when he has to perform a removal of a curse, food, water, clothes... things started to add up a lot quicker than he'd like.
'Hmm, maybe I should take a higher paying job later' Peter thought as he and Mirajane turned on to the street her home was.
"Well, here we are" Mirajane said as they finally arrived at her home. She pulled out her key and used it to unlock the door before gently pushing it open.
Peter blinked and looked up at the two story structure and noticed that the lights were all off "Huh, usually Elfman is still awake when you get home from date night"
If Peter didn't know any better, he'd say that Elfman doesn't trust him to not bring his sister back home after a date... and at the appropriate time.
"Would you like to 'come inside' than?" Mirajane asked with a coy grin as she leaned against the door frame and battered her eyelashes at Peter.
Peter blushed at this "Uhhh…"
"I think I'm the one that's supposed to be saying 'Uhhh'" Mirajane said as she took a step forward and lowered her voice "While my legs are wrapped around your waist... my body are sweaty and hot..."
Peter couldn't help but shiver at the look of lust in Mirajane's eyes as she wrapped her arms around his neck and raised as leg to wrap around his waist and began to grind herself against him. If a year ago someone told Peter that he'd have the Mirajane Strauss grinding up against him, asking him to come into her home and have sex with her, he'd tell them to stop having liquor with their medication. But here we was, outside Mirajane's home, with the beauty herself kissing his throat with a giggle while Elfman is standing there with complete horror on his face before it turned to white hot rage-
'Wait what?!' Peter thought with wide eyes before he was suddenly grabbed by the scruff of his neck and hoisted into the air by a snarling Elfman.
"Elfman!" Mirajane said with annoyance as she scowled at her brother while Peter was sweating nervously as he tried to hide his obvious reaction to Mirajan'e actions.
"H-Hey Elfman" Peter said with a nervous laugh "Lovely night, huh?"
Elfman's response was a growl of anger "What kind of man acts inappropriate with another man's sister outside her own home?!"
"That sister's boyfriend, that's who!" Mirajane said as she placed her hands on her shapely hips "Elfman, drop him!"
"Gently, please" Peter squeaked out "I bruise easily"
"But Mira-" Elfman began before he was cut off by a dark scowl from his sister.
"I said, drop him" she said with her eyes narrowing "Don't make me repeat myself Elfman"
Elfman stated at his older sister for a moment before he grumbled and released Peter, letting the shorter man land on his feet before he jabbed a finger at him and growled.
"Keep your hands to your self before I show you how a real man deals with handsy guys like you!" he threatened before he re-entered the house, leaving Peter and Mirajane standing there.
"Well that was unexpected" Mirajane said with a giggle before she turned towards Peter and gave him a coy smile "Well, are you gonna come inside or not?"
Peter stared at her with a look of disbelief "You still want me to come inside?"
"Well of course silly. We've been dating for almost a year now, it's about time we began committing more intimate acts with one another outside my bi-weekly blowjobs and your fingering" Mirajane said with a giggle.
"What?" Elfman's voice rose up from within the confines of the house.
"Kidding!" Mirajane called back before she glanced back at Peter and gave him a sly wink "Not kidding"
Peter stared at her for several long moments before he came to a decision that would go on to affect him, and others around him, for the rest of his life.
"Well... alright than"
Safe to say, it was so worth the beating Elfman gave him in the morning.
So very, very worth it.
...
Peter hummed as he stared at the request board, wondering what job he should take the next day.
'Let's see what they have here today... ooh a mission to undo a powerful curse on a house... help a world famous chef cook the ultimate dish... fight a giant monster that's trying to eat a entire town's cattle population... so many choices' Peter thought as he continued to read some of the requests before he saw one that caught his eye.
It was a request to deal with a infestation of seemingly magically enhanced scorpions terrorizing a small town not too far from Magnolia. The reward wasn't much, only sixty thousand but there was an added bonus of a brand new set of Magic Headphones.
"Hmmm... I think this is the one for me" Peter said as he grabbed the request and pulled it off the board "Plus I need a new pair after Gray destroyed my last one"
He turned to leave before stopping as Nab stood there with a thoughtful look on his face. Peter rolled his eyes at the man and quickly skirted around him and made his way over to Makarov so he could approve the request. Halfway there another brawl broke out and Peter was forced to dock, side step and leap over several Guild members that were being knocked around.
'Thank god for my danger sense' Peter thought as he avoided being hit with a chair that was partially burnt and reached the safe zone of the bar where Makarov watched over the hall.
He had to stop only once when someone started throwing around chocolate cake and some of the icing smashed against his helmet and covered the lenses. Thankfully his danger sense didn't need him to see and he was still able to expertly maneuver his way through the warzone that was the Fairy Tail guild hall without any further incidents.
"Peter, off on another job?" Makarov said as he sat on the bar counter with a content look on his face with a glass of some sort of foamy beer in his hands.
"You know it master" Peter said as he reached up to wipe some of the icing away off his lenses and handed the powerful mage the request sheet "Magically enhanced scorpion infestation needing taken care of"
"Interesting..." Makarov said as he glanced at the request and sighed "Kids these days, altering animals with magic and then letting them run amok"
Peter couldn't help but snort at this "What, you never tried to change a animal with magic when you were little? Well... littler"
The elderly mage gave Peter a dry look "No, I was too busy being responsible"
"If only you kept that mindset in your later years" Mirajane said with a sad sigh as she was bust filling a few glasses, causing Makarov's brow to twitch as he turned towards the barmaid with an annoyed scowl.
"I'll have you know that I'm just as responsible now as I was than!"
"I don't think that's something to boast about" Peter said as he folded the paper up and placed it in his hoodie's pocket "Well, I'm off. Should be back by the end of the day hopefully"
"Good luck. I wont be here when you get back, so speak with Mirajane" Makarov said with a wave of his hand towards the white haired beauty.
"Make sure to be careful Peter" Mirajane said with a teasing grin "Stay away from strangers and look both ways before you cross a street"
"I'm not a kid Mirajane" Peter said with a dry expression under his helmet, causing Mirajane to giggle.
"Your right, your not... especially after last night" Mirajane said with a wink and blew Peter a kiss.
"Ooh, do tell" Makarov said with a perverted chuckle that caused Peter's brow to twitch.
"Uh, how about I not. Also eww man, we're young enough to be your grandchild- no scratch that, great grandchildren"
"I'M NOT THAT OLD YOU LITTLE BRAT!" Makarov yelled, his head growing three times it's regular size.
'So glad part of the reward is new headphones that have noise canceling properties' Peter thought with his ears ringing as loud as Kardia Cathedral's bell "Uh say again master, everything went mute after 'not'"
Makarov gritted his teeth at Peter "Just go and get this job over with already before I decide to clear out the Guild Hall's spider infestation"
Peter gasped dramatically at this and stumbled back several steps as he pointed a shaking finger at the elderly wizard "You promised to leave them alone!"
"That was before you decided to be a disrespectful little brat!" Makarov yelled.
"I'm not little, I'm average in height!" Peter shouted back with anger.
"While everything else is below average I bet!" Cana hollered from her table, shared by several other members that Peter for the life of him couldn't remember the names to.
"Screw you!" Peter said as he rounded on Cana and flicked her off.
"Oh, is that a request?!" Cana said as she stood up from her table, her glass's contents sloshing with her sudden movements "You hear that Mira, seems your boy toy is trying to be unfaithful with me!"
"Oh that's just Peter being Peter" Mirajane said with a slightly embarrassed smile on her face "Trust me, he's as loyal as a dog"
Cana rolled her eyes at this "Please... he can barely keep his eyes off me"
"You know what, I'm going!" Peter said as he stomped passed several other Guild members towards the door "Unlike some of us Cana, I have actual work to do that doesn't involve seeing how hungover I can get!"
"BORE!" Cana yelled as Peter left the hall and she retook her seat with a huff.
The men she was sitting with all glanced at each other with unsure expressions on their faces before one of them decided to speak "Hey uh Cana, you gonna be okay?"
The card magic user gave the man a glare of annoyance "Yeah, why?"
"You seemed a bit more heated than usual" one of them said.
"What do you mean by that?" Cana asked with a frown before she suddenly shivered as she felt a dark oppressive presence behind her.
"Yeah, what do you mean by that?"
Cana along with the other occupants of her table all paled at the sound of Mirajane's angelic voice and slowly turned to see the barmaid looking at them with a terrifyingly sweet smile on her face.
"H-Hey Mira" Cana said with a shaky voice 'Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit!'
"Cana, what's he mean by you being more heated?" Mirajane asked with a teasing smile "Is he saying you get all hot and bothered when you fight with 'my' Peter?"
"T-That's not what he meant!" Cana said in a panicked tone as she turned towards the guy who said it only to gape as the whole table aside from her was gone.
'What the fuck!?' she thought with sweat beating down her face as Mirajane leaned forward until her lips were brushing against her ear.
"I'm just teasing Cana... relax" she said in a low whisper that was almost sensual "Just like you were with my boyfriend. I mean, you wouldn't really be trying to argue him into a bed with you... right?"
"N-No M-Mirajane" Cana stuttered as her life flashed before her eyes as Mirajane took a step back and gave her a heart warming smile.
"Oh that's good to hear" the former Demon of Fairy tail said with a sigh of relief "That would've made me upset..."
Her eyes narrowed slightly at the scantily clad beauty "And we wouldn't want that, would we?"
"N-No Mira..." Cana said as she was on the verge of collapsing at the thought of her re-awakening the Demon.
People thought Erza was scary hadn't seen Mirajane angry.
...
And done.
Next chapter, enter Erza Scarlet... EVERYONE RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!