*Family Tree*

"Yo, Tager, sorry for the…" Kokonoe stopped as she took in the unexpected scene right in front of her eyes. "What the heck."

"Oh, Professor Kokonoe! Fancy meeting you here." Hazama took off his sunglasses and pointed to the empty beach chair right by his side. "Would you like a seat?"

She glared at it with a suspicious expression. "Is that a bomb planted underneath it?"

"Hm? Oh my." Hazama's smile widened in a guilty expression. "Sorry, little Carl is really playful these days. Children are such lively creatures, don't you think?"

"Little Carl?"

Hazama gestured towards the ocean, where the happy family could be seen engaging in common, happy family activities such as swimming together in the sea. Though it couldn't really be called swimming, since one of them was clearly floating many centimetres above the waves, while another was plummeting down into the deep waters, despite his best efforts.

"Is that Carl Clover trying to drown his father?"

"That's mean, Kokonoe-san. They are clearly just having some nice father-son bonding time."

"Oh, he's bound alright. By the legs, it looks like." They silently watched the far away commotion for a couple minutes, in what is likely the most romantic scene in the Blazblue Expanded UniverseÔ since Platinum the Trinity called Ragna the Bloodedge a lolicon pervert in the middle of a restaurant. "I feel like I'm forgetting something."

"Indeed, the weather is so nice, it's hard to keep track of things." Hazama elongated the moment with a satisfied sigh that clearly made Kokonoe scowl. "Could it be that?"

As he mentioned it, the Captain offhandedly pointed to Taokaka, who was very eagerly awaiting for her 'watermeowlon' tree to come out of the ground. Sitting by her side was Tager, who was clearly either trying to get a new tan or had run out of batteries. "And what are you doing, Tao?"

"Meow! Green guy said if I planted the watermeowlon, a whole tree would come out like POW!"

As she explained, the Kaka girl eagerly patted the single scrap of yellow that had been spared of the sandy prison. Kokonoe was silent for a moment, unsure about the entire situation, before she turned to Hazama once more. "You do know watermelons don't grow on trees, right?"

"My, my, Professor, you really underestimate my intelligence, don't you?" He complained, almost hurtfully. "I just thought it would be a nice way to have some peace and quiet. Until someone arrived to take her away, at least."

"Tao's not going anywhere, meow! Tao will wait for her watermeowlon to pop with a POW!"

Kokonoe kneeled down by the Kaka girl's side. "Are you sure this is even food, Tao? What kind of watermelon is yellow with black stripes anyway?"

"The kind that is rotten to the very core, if I may say so." Hazama was more than glad to explain as he took a sip of his cool fruit juice. "And particularly noisy as well."

"Oh, I see." Pulling out a bag of chips from her sleeve, the genius professor of Sector Seven refilled her brain with the needed energy to think of the perfect plan. "Tao, I'm not very sure about the whole 'tree' thing, but I think I can make it come out with a bang."

"Meow, for real?! A big POW with lots of WOOSH and BLAM and KABOOM!?"

"Indeed."

Hazama understood absolutely nothing of that low Kaka language, but he did like the smug smile in the Professor's face. Kokonoe tapped her foot in the sand with a decisive stance, and the ground began to rumble. As the earthquake grew stronger and louder, suddenly an entire missile came out of the ground, with a very familiar ghost attached to its tip.

"HAZAAMAAA-CHAAAAA—" It flew high, high in the air and exploded with beautiful fireworks, each little piece that broke apart from it in turn leading to even more smaller explosions. They adorned the clear sky like black-and-orange flowers, blooming in the endless stretch of blue.

As the remaining burning pieces of metal fell down back into the planet, having concluded their magnificent journey into the unknown, the four of them could only watch in awe at the marvel of science. Indeed, it was almost as if they experienced a deadly and catastrophic meteor shower.

Terumi-san landed face-first in the sand right by them, scorched from the explosions and overall battered from the entire ordeal, but miraculously still in one piece. "Ugh…"

Hazama got up from his chair, feeling refreshed from the amazing sight, and walked to the unmoving heap of burnt annoyance that was his boss. "That was great, Terumi-san. I believe I'm ready to move on to the next step."

There was a low mumbling that the Captain took as a hex, which only made Hazama's smile widen.

"Now, let's go enjoy the sea for a bit!"

As he tapped the ghost's back with his foot, the other's head moved a little bit, and his words became clear. "Didn't you… have enough…?!"

"Why, of course I did. Burying someone in the sand was much more tiresome than I'd expected." Hazama declared with a smile, not a sign of tiredness to be seen in his peppy attitude. "That's why we should relax a bit and go play in the water instead."

Terumi turned his head to the side and his pale face became visible from underneath the burnt fabric. "How many times do you plan on killing me today?"

"Only one, but I want it to stick."

"You know it's not gonna happen." The ghost complained. "This is phenomenon intervention. I have plot armour."

"Well, we can't be sure unless we try~" Hazama squatted down and playfully pulled on the other's hood. "Even for a little cheater like you, there must be limits on how much you can take… Oh?"

There was a peculiar tiny red tongue, coming from a particularly tiny green snake who was currently hiding inside Terumi's hood. Hazama pulled it out, and the weightless reptile was glad to coil around his hand and stick its tongue out with curiosity.

"Is this a mini Ouroboros?"

"A what Ouroboros." Terumi sounded more confused than surprised. His yellow eyes followed the tiny green creature that eagerly explored the world by tasting the air with its tongue. "Is that what I felt snaking up my back when I was buried in the sand?!"

"Oh my, there's more!"

"What? Where?!"

Hazama completely pulled back Terumi's hood when he noticed the darker shade of green. There, very much comfortable in the dark and tight space between the hood and the rest of the cloak, was an entire family of six freshly hatched mini Ouroboros. There was even a remnant of pristine-white eggs, though it was no more than a few pieces that had somehow survived the explosion.

The tiny snakes were all more than glad to coil around Hazama's fingers and snake up his arms. "Why, Terumi-san, congratulations on becoming a mother!"

"I don't remember giving birth to anything!"

"Well, they have to have come from somewhere."

"What are you insinuating?!"

"Nothing you cannot prove otherwise, I'm sure." As he was used to the chains, having the tiny snakes playfully climb his arm made Hazama somewhat ticklish. It wasn't exactly pleasant, but he had felt much worse over the course of his life as a very bothersome ghost's vessel. "Well, what are we waiting for? Let's take the family for a swim!"

"Do you want to get rid of them that fast?! At least let the little fucks live for a few minutes!" Terumi blurted out, in a rare demonstration of misplaced compassion. "They can't feel despair if they don't learn what happiness is first!"

"Spoken like a true mother, Terumi-san." As Hazama had motherly experience in at least one Gag Ending of the Continuum Shift, he was more than allowed to declare as such. "But not to worry, snakes can swim."

"No they can't."

"Indeed, they can." The one who retorted was no other than Kokonoe, currently sitting on a very tired Tager who was running on extra batteries. Taokaka was being held the Red Devil's gigantic hands, happily munching on an extra-large bag of chips. "Though, of all people, I thought you should know that already, Terumi."

"I know what I'm saying and I'm telling you they can't." Terumi-san complained from his place in the sand, where his skin slowly cooked under the sun, the many pieces of fabric merely aggravating the heat.

As for Hazama, he was totally fine. He had sunglasses, after all. "Well, if you say so." Kokonoe shrugged. "I'm leaving. Don't go charming Tao away again, or I won't be so merciful next time."

"The hell do you mean, 'charm her away'? She came flying to my head without any provocation!"

"Terumi-san, your very existence is a provocation~" Hazama was more than glad to wave goodbye to Sector Seven's professor, her assistant and the annoying Kaka girl. "See you around. Have a safe trip home~"

"We're not going home, I'm here on a family outing." Kokonoe replied as she messed around with the buttons on a remote control. "Also, you guys better stay clear from our side of the beach. Jin is basically turning it into the North Pole."

"Oh, so Major Kisaragi is here as well?"

The memory of a vintage motorcycle crossed the Captain of the NOL's Dept. of Intelligence. He decided to push that thought away. "Yep, the whole family's here. Dad, Mother, Auntie and her two kids. And Tao. And Tager. And Lambda."

"Is that the quiet one?"

"Yes, she's the quiet one."

The ghost butted in as smoothly as always. "Any chance we can trade?"

"Why would I?"

"'Cause ours is way more murdery. And noisy."

Kokonoe actually seem to mull over the offer for a moment or two. "Nah. I have a Ragna over there right now, I don't want to make a Black Beast by mistake."

"I'd be glad to make one on purpose, if you prefer."

"Terumi-san, please abstain from your evil schemes for today." Hazama asked with a smile and a hint of silver from his pockets. "Your condition may worsen, after all."

Sector Seven's genius professor turned around with a hint of curiosity. "Oh, are you sick?"

"Yes. You see, Terumi-san is madly in love."

"No I'm not!"

"Oh man, looks like it's terminal then." Kokonoe slightly raised her eyebrows. "My condolences. I hope you go out slowly and painfully. Now, if you excuse me, I have to get back to my own family outing."

"It was nice seeing you, Professor Kokonoe." Uncaring, Hazama dropped a mini Ouroboros on Terumi's back, where it gladly began snaking around in search of a nice and dark place to stay. The ghost did not react, but his angry expression said quite enough. "I hope you enjoy your day."

"And I hope you die choking on a boiled egg, but sadly we can't have everything we wish for." She sighed as she pressed the red button.

The ground shook once again, and Tager took off to the sky. "Wait, you still haven't taken those rocked boots off me?!"

"Of course not, they're an upgrade."

"They are a safety hazard!"

"Oh, come on, it's not like you're gonna drop on someone's head."

"We're flying, meow!"

After that, the conversation became too quiet for the Captain to follow, so he turned around, grabbed Terumi by the leg and pulled the ghost along to the sea. Hazama made sure to drag the other through the roughest terrain he could find. The mini Ouroboros decided to coil around his neck.