*Ghost Buoyancy*

It felt almost like a dream. Floating, falling, ever so slowly leaving behind the light of the day and the bright sea-blue waters. Deeper into an abyss of endless darkness, the chains dragged him down to a place where sunshine could never reach. In spite of the situation he found himself in, or maybe because of it, Hazama felt nothing. It was far too detached and unreal for him to even bring himself to worry. If this were to be his end, it would be much calmer than he'd pictured.

As he watched with half-closed eyes the little air bubbles float away, remnants of the breath that would soon falter, there was a hint of something. A troublesome picture stirred his mind, and Hazama began to struggle against the chains. Struggle against the bindings that seemed to only exist to mock that foolish attempt.

With several pained twists, Hazama managed to release his left arm from the spectral chains. At this point, he could feel his chest tighten with his body's failed attempts at catching a breath. There was still no water filling his lungs, but it was merely a matter of time. It would be impossible for him to free himself fast enough to float back to the surface.

But then again, that was not what he had in mind from the beginning. Hazama extended his free arm, reaching out between the slowly fading air bubbles for the one piece of him that the vessel could not afford to lose. The very piece that defined him and his struggles as a being, as something worth of his purpose in life.

Hazama reached out, but it had already slipped from his grasp. Now, all he could do was watch as the chains dragged him further away from it. His special piece, his most precious part of himself, gone. Gone, as Hazama slowly began struggling for his own life. But was there truly a reason to do so, when all was lost?

As he thought so, giving up from ever filling the void inside of him, a swarm of small eel-like creature swam closer. Coming from above, he quickly recognized their silly featureless faces, the round green blobs with tiny yellow eyes.

The mini-boros struggled against the flow and the waves as they dived down. Were they coming for him? Hazama felt the slightest of feelings, far too small to be noticed among the very physical pain in his chest. What silly little shadow snakes. Who even taught them about loyalty? Surely they couldn't have inherited such a trait from their progenitor…

The tiny snakes, with much effort, managed to reach their goal. Hazama's eyes opened wide in disbelief as he watched the little things run off, or, more appropriately, swim off, with the very thing he tried and failed to hold on to: his hat.

"*Hey*!"

That's what Hazama tried to say, though the only thing that came from his mouth was one last enduring air bubble. As Hazama lost consciousness, he couldn't help but curse Terumi for being a pain in his butt even in the vessel's final moments.

And that was the end of it.

Or, at least, it should have been. "Hazama-san! Are you okay?! Please, wake up!"

The Captain opened his eyes, though nobody but him could notice this fact, and coughed out a little water. He was alive. He was breathing. He was not bound to any dark chains while being dragged down to the ocean floor.

Over him leaned two familiar faces, the bothersome one with the mask and the simple one with metallic skin, and one less familiar, glasses-wearing face. "Oh, you're okay! Thank goodness we made it on time!"

Slowly, Hazama sat up. He had been lying on the floor of a boat. "Huh." That was an experience. Hazama reached for the top of his head, feeling the void over his hair. "Where's my hat?"

Little Carl Clover sighed in relief, before showing the hatless man a sweet smile that would melt even the coldest and most wicked of hearts. "You were pulled to the depths of the sea by an unseen force."

Too bad Hazama didn't have a heart. "Where's my hat."

"If Miss Bullet hadn't crashed into us trying to get our help, Father and I would probably not have been able to pull you out in time."

"Indeed." Relius Clover nodded, his broken mask being held together by copious amounts of superglue. "And that would have been quite a loss to the world."

Hazama needed a long moment to process all that. "My hat."

"We had to perform some in loco adjustments to your body after that." The Colonel proceeded naturally with the conversation. "Are you feeling all right?"

"…Hat."

"I see you are completely fine." Relius Clover declared with a deep sigh, before placing said article on top of the Captain's head. "You do know that is not the proper headgear for underwater diving, right?"

"Sir." Hazama fixed it slowly, the feeling of completeness washing over his body as he did so. "With all due respect…" He got a hold of the one mini-boros that was biting the tip of the object. The small creature let go and instead coiled around his hand. "This hat is a part of my being."

"I see." The masked man smiled mockingly. "I do remember the day I made you, when you walked out of the tube, completely naked except for this very hat on your head."

Hazama was not amused. "Oh, yes, Father!" Little Carl intervened before the Captain could even think of something to say. "You were talking about how you made him."

"Why, yes, I was." Hazama could not believe that his birth was the one subject these two were actually managing a civil conversation on. "As I was saying, though they use the same mould, his creation was quite unlike Kazuma."

"How so?"

"Sir…"

"Well, you see, Kazuma's creation was a meticulous affair. Everything had to be worked out from the ground up, and time and resources were completely at our disposal. The end result was a vessel capable of withstanding even the direst of circumstances, and able to make full use of Terumi's powers. It was, for lack of a better word, nearly perfection."

Hazama did not like where this was heading. "Sir, if I may…"

"And what about Hazama-san?" Carl Clover asked, almost excitedly.

Relius Clover took a deep breath, averting his covered eyes from the Captain's fierce gaze. "I made Hazama in between rounds while I was doing your mother." The masked man explained in a deep tone. "Clearly, at the time, my attention was not fully focused on the project at hand."

Hazama just couldn't believe his ears. Little Carl turned to the floating pink puppet with a puzzled expression. "Wait, what?" He asked, looking at his Mother. "That doesn't make any…"

"About nine months afterwards, Ada was born."

"…Oh."

The Captain could not restrain himself any longer. "Colonel Relius, with all due respect, intercourse yourself."

Relius Clover turned to Hazama with his usual unfazed expression. "How curious. Terumi said something quite similar after we found out about your cat allergy."

"Oh, really. I do wonder why." Hazama, ready to get up and move on with his life, reached out for Relius' hand. Instead of taking it as a support to get up, he handed the Colonel the mini-boros and got up on his own.

Relius Clover watched the small squirming serpent with a hint of curiosity before he handed it to Carl. The kid was not expecting such an offering, and shuddered a bit as the mini-boros coiled around his thin arm. "What is this creature, Hazama? We've found an entire school of them swimming around your hat."

"We fished them out." Carl commented off-handily as he patted the tiny green blob that was the snake's head. The mini-boros stuck its tongue out to smell the boy. "They seemed happy about it."

Hazama noticed the small box where, along with a few fish, the other mini-boros swam, splashing water all around. There seemed to be more than the original six, but it was a bit too cramped in there for the Captain to be sure. "They're Terumi-san's kids."

"Pardon?"

"I buried Terumi-san in the sand and they just popped out of him, complete with eggshells." Hazama explained as he watched the little dark-green snakes play around in the water. "They look like Ouroboros. Maybe they were born prematurely from the explosion?"

"Explosion?"

"Oh, was that the firework show we saw earlier? They were so pretty, blooming like flowers in the sky!" Carl Clover spoke with a joyful, satisfied smile.

Indeed. Flowers of smoke, metal and torture, quite befitting of the Sector Seven's cat-girl Professor. "Yes. It was all Terumi-san, though not without a bit of help of Professor Kokonoe."

Relius nodded as if it was an everyday occurrence for the ghost to be blasted off to the Heavens by a giant missile. "Speaking of Terumi, where is he?"

Hazama walked closer to the edge of the ship and leaned over the guardrail. "In the bottom of the ocean, I believe." He held his hat firmly as he leaned further down, examining the small vessel. "Just when did you rent a ship?"

"What are you saying, silly!" Carl laughed, coming to Hazama to give him back the mini-boros. "This isn't just any old ship. This is Sis."

Hazama turned to the kid, watching his precious little face carefully for any hints of an unfunny joke, but there was none to be found. He then looked down once more, studying the ship carefully, until he found the words HMS Nirvana carved on its side. "Oh."

Now the only two things missing were a bothersome blonde captain and an ethereal being for a sail and this could become an official Blazblue Gag Reel. "Say, Hazama-san, would you like to try fishing with us?"

"Fishing, you say?"

"Yes." Carl Clover pointed to a few fishing rods that were resting in a corner. "We are trying to see who catches the most fish. We can roast the biggest ones to eat for lunch."

"Little Carl…" Hazama could almost feel the responsibility of the job he didn't want to take any part on. "Do you even know how to prepare a freshly-caught fish?"

"Why, yes, I do."

The sheer confidence of that small kid surprised the Captain. "Really? Where did you learn how to do such a thing?"

Carl Clover's smile did not falter, but it became a little tense. "You learn lots of things after being Mister Bang's disciple for a couple days." He explained in an overly chipper tone. "Lots of things."

"I see." Hazama couldn't help but like that kid. "How very fascinating."

"So, would you like to give it a try? I bet you'll fare way better than Father."

Hazama followed the young child to the fishing spot. "Why, is the Colonel bad at it?"

"He is… not exactly a role model." Carl Clover replied with a sigh, handing Hazama a fishing rod. "Though that holds true for a lot more than fishing, as I'm sure you already know."

"Indeed." Hazama impaled the bait on the hook and send it to the waters with a quiet *splosh*. "But how bad can he possibly be?" He wondered out loud as he watched the float bob up and down over the waves. "I mean, this isn't difficult at all."

"Do you really want to know?"

Carl's dark tone only made Hazama even more curious. He nodded slightly. "Do tell."

The kid sighed deeply. "He tried waving it around and stabbed his own eye with the hook."

"…Through the mask?"

"Through the mask, yes."

"Oh my." Hazama lowered his eyes to the rod's handler, where the mini-boros was currently sunbathing with a lazy expression on its face. "It must have been hilarious."

"Are you kidding? It was hysterical. I wish you could have seen it. God, that felt so good." Carl Clover had to take his glasses off, lest his tears of joy would wet the lenses. "To learn that this man could be incompetent to such a level… I have never seen something so great in my entire life."

"I am glad to know you're enjoying our little escapade." Hazama looked around and found a small beach chair to sit on. And how lucky, there was already a cold drink waiting for him there. "I, for one, am getting quite a lot out of this day off as w—"

A small hand stopped the drink from reaching his mouth. "Hazama-san, I wouldn't drink that if I were you." Carl Clover declared, scooping the glass before Hazama could reply. "Whatever you think this is, I must assure you, it's not."

The Captain watched the young child and the glass with a thoughtful expression, before a pleased smile twisted his lips. "It's not going to be something as simple as alcohol, I presume?"

"You presume right." Carl Clover replied with a mischievous smile of his very own.

"Poison?"

"Hazama-san, what do you take me for?" The young child replied in a playful manner. "Poison? Really? That's so lame."

"Hm…" He was quite the creative type, Hazama had to admit. "You're putting me right into a bind here, little Carl. Sedatives, maybe?"

"You'll have to try harder than that." Carl teased happily, leaning over the rail to watch the waves. "I thought you'd be able to guess it by now. Aren't you the NOL Captain of Intelligence?"

"It's my day off, little Carl, give me a break." Hazama complained, though the long smile still remained in his face. "And besides, it's just not right to guess the stronger options right from the start. I wouldn't want to give you any ideas, after all." He sighed, quite satisfied, and fixed his hat. "That being said… Laxatives."

"You're a little warmer now, I guess." It was clear the kid couldn't wait much longer. "Maybe I should give you a hint?"

"Sure. Go ahead."

"It's a nice little something whose name starts with…" Before Carl could finish, Hazama felt a sudden yank in his fishing rod, and he had to quickly get a grip on it before the item flew away into the ocean. "Oh, you got something! Come on, reel it out!"

"I'm trying, give me a moment…!" He twisted the little lever as fast as he could while keeping a strong grip on the handle. The rod swayed left and right as Hazama reeled in the catch. The sleeping mini-boros didn't care about the commotion at all. "This feels much heavier than it should…"

"Oh, maybe you caught a big one!"

"Somehow, I don't think life is that generous, kid." There was no way this was a fish. Maybe a shark or a small whale, but definitely not a fish. "Oh, I think I see something!"

"Reel it in, Hazama-san! Don't lose your grip now!"

The embarrassment from being encouraged by a child was just what Hazama needed to put all of his strength into it. No longer worried about anything else, he turned the small lever with a passion, nevermind the possibility that it could very well…

*Break*

"Ah, the rod broke apart!" Carl jumped to his aid, holding the piece of stick before it could fall out of the boat. Hazama tried to grab the line, but it was far too thin and began slipping from his grasp.

"What are you two…"

Carl Clover turned to the side with a relieved expression. "Ah, Mother, help us! The rod broke apart!"

Completely ignoring her husband just as their child did, Ignis teleported to their side by Carl's request, leaving Relius Clover to watch the commotion from a safe spot a few metres away. The Detonator's hands soon transformed into long drills that began to twist rapidly. She wrapped the line on them and began reeling it in at a speed that Hazama could only dream to compete with.

The line soon ended, and attached to the hook was the familiar face of a chain-snake: Ouroboros. Ignis proceeded to reel the entire chain in her drills. At the end of the first Ouroboros was a second one, and at the end of that one was the third and final chain. Impaled on its tail was a yellow cloak.

And hanging to it for dear life was Terumi-san. "AAAAAH!" Who was unceremoniously tossed inside the HMS Nirvana after spinning in the air for a couple minutes. "Guwah!" He landed on top of Relius with such force that both of them were almost thrown off the ship. "Ugh…"

Hazama adjusted his hat and put on his best smile, but Carl Clover beat him to it. "Oh, it wasn't a fish." The child complained in a disappointed voice. "Better luck next time, Hazama-san."

He really liked that kid. "Hazama…" Terumi-san slowly got up with the help of the guardrail, legs visibly shaking. "Hazama…!"

Now was time for the best smile. "Terumi-san. Long time no see~"

"You absolute fucker!" With no yellow cloak and a very wet, very much non-spiky green hair, he was almost the spitting image of Hazama, if it weren't for the angry wide-open eyes. "I can't swim!"

"Really? That's quite a shame." Hazama nodded in a sympathetic manner. "Maybe you should have some classes. Can't stay in the kiddie pool forever, right?"

Terumi-san was still far too shaken to be able to retaliate, which was, in all honesty, very nice. "I can't swim! I don't float!"

Well, that was new information. "Excuse me?"

"You heard me, you fucker! I don't float!" The ghost declared to the surprise of all but one person. Terumi was holding onto the guardrail for dear life, as his legs were currently too weak to support his weight. Every time he caught a glimpse of the sea, he scowled harder.

"You… don't float."

"I don't."

"Even though you're a ghost?"

Terumi-san glared with such proficiency that it was almost a work of art. "I am not 'a ghost', you absolute bastard of a vessel, I am a God." The words really lacked most of their impact without the mysterious air the hood gave to his image as a whole. "And you, oh, you are a dead man. As soon as I get there, Hazama-chan, you are so goddamn dead. I will mince you up into teeny-weeny pieces and you'll be alive through all of it. I will make you suffer."

Terumi declared so as he failed to step away from the rail and fell face-first on the floor. Really, at this point Hazama's death was marked. He probably had only a few more decades to enjoy his miserable life. "So Gods don't float?"

"Terumi doesn't float." Relius, back to his feet with all the grace a man who was almost knocked out of a boat could have, adjusted his mask. A piece of it fell off, and Hazama saw a hint of blood drip down the Colonel's cheek. "He's far too dense for that."

Hazama's gaze moved from the Colonel to the angry ghost who was currently cursing his own legs and the ocean in the loudest tone his raspy voice could produce.

"Yep, that checks out."

Something bumped lightly on his shoulder. Hazama turned around, seeing the three Ouroboros back to their shadow snake forms, all eagerly watching him. Ignis had freed her drills from their chains and the fishing line.

Hazama took a moment to realize what the snakes wanted from him. "Oh, yes, I did promise the one to pull him out would get a boiled egg."

They all smiled, showing off their fangs proudly. Hazama's smile elongated as he changed to his announcer voice.

"And the one who gets the prize, the very one who got Terumi-san out…"

The leftmost Ouroboros, the one with the hook in its mouth, lifted itself up. The one in the middle, who still had Terumi's torn cloak attached to its tail, leaned closer, trying to get the spotlight. The rightmost snake nuzzled Hazama's hand.

"…was Ignis."

The two Ouroboros who were fighting for attention looked livid with that statement. The other one didn't bother with that little display, and proceeded to nuzzle Hazama's leg. It was quite a well-thought tactic, he had to admit, but the Captain was not going to fall for it.

"But, since Ignis-san can't possibly eat a boiled egg… No offense ma'am, it's just the truth." He was quick to add when the puppet's eyes turned to him. She nodded lightly, allowing him to continue. "The one who deserves the prize…"

The Ouroboros all watched Hazama eagerly, making puppy-dog eyes.

"The one who did work the most for it…"

The six yellow globes were sparkling in just the most adorable way three giant shadow snakes could possibly make their eyes sparkle.

"…was me."

The sheer disappointment in their faces was just the funniest thing about it. The Ouroboros lowered their heads slowly, making sad clicking noises.

"Hazama-san, that's mean." Carl Clover tried to intervene, but the match was already set. "Didn't they work hard for it?"

"Boiled eggs are not for those who work hard, little Carl. They are for those who work smart."

As Hazama declared so, Terumi-san fell over the fish tank on another of his failed attempts to take a step. The fish slapped his face as they flopped around, and the startled mini-boros bit him. The screams of anger and pain were like music to Hazama's ears.

"So, let's make lunch!"