Penelope and family

When her suitcase was ready and tomorrow's clothes folded on the chair, Penelope looked at her and Josie's bed and felt sick. She couldn't sleep there knowing Josie and Landon had sex in their bed. She was even sure that Josie let him sleep on her side and she felt even more sick. She wished she could burn the bed and bedding and erase Landon from every segment of their lives…but she couldn't. Josie got into bed and she waited for Penelope to get to bed too.

''Are you coming to bed?''

''I'm sorry… I can't… I can't sleep in a bed where two of you….And I don't think I could sleep by your side after what he said today… Good night…''

Penelope spent the night in her office. She couldn't sleep by Josie's side and she was tempted to get back to bed few times, but somehow she managed to stay away. She knew it was for the best. Going back to the bedroom meant that she has forgiven Josie and she was not ready for that. She was not sure if she could forgive. They had to think about what they would do and where they see their relationship go. In the morning she and Jose met in the kitchen.

''Good morning Penelope.''

''Good morning Josie.''

Penelope saw her making tea and made sad face.

''You feel sick?''

''Yes, very sick… I spent most of the night in the bathroom. Bad sickness is back.''

''I'm sorry… Maybe we have lemon popsicles in the freezer. Do you want me to check?''

''It's ok… I'll make lemonade later.''

''Ok…Call Helena in case you need her to get you something.''

''Why would I call her? I can get it myself. I can go to the store or to Lizzie's. She can make me some food that will not make me sick.''

''Yes, you can call Lizzie. She could make you those biscuits with lavender and mint she made for you when you were expecting boys. Maybe you should tell her you are pregnant so she would check on you often.''

''You want me to tell Lizzie?''

''It's up to you Josie.''

''And what should I tell her?''

''What do you want to tell her?''

''I don't know.''

Penelope's phone interrupted their conversation.

''Good morning Elizabeth.''

''Good morning Ms. Park. I am calling to tell you that car will be in front of your house at noon.''

''I will be ready.''

''Good, Ms. Park. I will be seeing you on the jet.''

''See you Ms. Cooper.''

She hung up and Helena came down.

''Good morning moms.''

Josie nodded and gave her fade smile.

''Good morning Helena.''

Penelope kissed her cheek.

''Good morning honey.''

''What's up?''

''Not much… I am leaving for New York at noon and I will be gone for ten days.''

''I always wanted to go there.''

''Maybe you can come and visit with the boys when we start working the case. I might be there for months.''

''I can't wait.''

''I know. You've always loved to travel.''

Penelope checked her watch.

''Get dressed Helena, we are going shopping.''

''Shopping?''

''Yes, we need to stock the fridge and get all you might need during my stay in New York.''

Josie took a sip from her tea and looked at Penelope.

''Penelope, I can go to the store…. You don't have to go.''

''I have to go with Helena or you can go with her.''

''Why? You think I can't handle few bags?''

''No, you'll need money and I don't have time to go to the bank.''

''I can use my card.''

''No, you can't… It's blocked…''

''What?''

''I blocked it…''

Josie looked at her with a lot of anger on her face. She couldn't believe what Penelope did to her.

''Is this some sort of passive aggressive punishment?''

Penelope just shook her head.

''No it's not.''

''Then why did you block it? To keep me under control? To show me that you own me?''

Penelope turned to Helena.

''Honey, go back upstairs and get ready. I need a moment with your mom.''

''Ok, just keep it quiet… You don't want boys to hear you fighting…again…''

Helena did what she was asked and went back upstairs. Penelope came closer to Josie because she didn't want to shout and wake up the boys.

''Josie, I blocked the card thinking that someone else used it at the hotel. I believed it was stolen and not that my wife is fucking a family friend behind my back and at my expense.''

Josie flinched and lowered her gaze.

''You will never let that go.''

''It's the fact Josie… I want nothing more in life than to erase that image from my mind and the events from our lives, but I can't. ''

''Why don't you call the bank?''

''It will take some time for me to unblock it. I need to make an appointment with my banker and then make the request to unblock…and million more things.''

''Fine, wire money to Helena and she will give it to me.''

Just at that moment, Helena walked back to the kitchen and turned toward her mothers.

''I am not taking part in whatever is happening between you two. I can go with you mom to the store and get everything we might need for these ten days… But I am not taking part in any cold war you are in.''

Josie turned toward Helena.

''You are part of it. You sided with Penelope.''

''Mom, it's not true.''

''You know it is. You sided with her right away!''

''Mom, if the situation was reversed I would be on your side… I don't support cheating. That is cowardly act. I understand you fell for someone else, I understand that you needed something more and different after all these years… I would even understand falling out of love with mom. Things like that happen all the time. It's ok to stop loving someone. You started your relationship young and it's ok to realize you want and need something or someone else. If you just came and said you want out, I would support you. I would be sad and it would be hard for me, but I would know it's for the best. I am hurt that you did this… You are having a thing with a family friend and you are pregnant. Soon you wouldn't be able to hide the pregnancy. You have two babies growing inside of you. They will be hard to hide.''

''You don't know how I felt Helena.''

''And you don't know how I felt when I found out. My entire world fell apart when I saw you having sex with him in your and mom's bed. You didn't look bothered or afraid what someone else would say if they learned the truth? Did you think about what would happen if thigs came out? Did you think how twins would fee when they learned that you had relationship with their best friends' dad? How would Mary feel? Mom feel? I understand you are scared and it's hard… But mom, there is no excuse for what you did. You broke our family and when things get out, you will break one more family and family of friends. ''

Josie put her cup in the sink and went upstairs. Penelope wiped her eyes and smiled at Helena.

''Let's go to the store.''

''Can I drive mom?''

''Just this time.''

They went to the store and filled two carts with food. Helena was joking that some of the things would have to go to the freezer in the shed and Penelope agreed.

''Mama is angry.''

''I know.''

''Are you ok?''

''I don't know…''

''I saw you slept in the office.''

''I did.''

''What will you do after you come back from New York?''

''I have no idea… But I know that I have to settle that as soon as possible. We have family and those babies will be visible soon. Everyone will know Josie is expecting and if I start divorce settlement when they learn, I will be evil bitch.''

''She cheated.''

''I know… But I am leaving a pregnant woman and causing her stress.''

''Well, we both know it's not like that.''

''We do, but the rest doesn't.''

''Mom, do you care what everyone else will think?''

''I don't want her to lose friends over this. We know some of them for a very long time.''

''I know mom, but if you don't tell the truth, then you will be blamed for everything.''

''I know, but I will survive it better than Josie. She always cared too much what people think and say. I never did.''

''Fine, but don't let them step over you just to save her ass.''

''Helena, please pick your words better.''

''Since when are you a prude?''

''I am not… But you will say some of those things in public. We don't need that.''

''Fine mom.''

''Good. Let's go home.''

They got home and went straight to the garage. They stored things in the freezer there and got into the house bags with things that would be used in every day meals. Josie was sitting with twins and watching cartoons and she tried to pretend that she is angry and hurt because of the things Helena said. Penelope went to the bedroom to change and get her bags down. She took a seat on the chair and called twins to say good bye to them. They had million wishes and demands what she should get them from New York and Penelope couldn't stop laughing at some of them. She gave Helena her car keys and she transferred some money to her account just in case she might need it for the house.

At noon car stopped in front of their house and Penelope left. She had no idea what to expect from the case and what to expect at home. She was not sure how things would go with Helena and Josie and he hoped Josie would not say or do something that would hurt the girl. She knew how venomous Josie could be when she is pushed in the corner. She got into the car and just out of some weird hunch, she turned GPS tracker of the car on her phone. She had a feeling that Josie will try to take the car from Helena under the excuse that it is expensive or something else.

Penelope and Elizabeth

When Penelope got into the jet, Elizabeth was already sitting at her spot and reading the papers.

''Oh, hello…''

''Hi, Ms. Cooper.''

''Are you ready?''

''I guess… I am still not sure if you picked right person by picking me.''

''You will do amazing. I know you will.''

''Why do you think that Ms. Cooper?''

''Because you remind me of me. You will be amazing once you start believing in yourself. You can to so much Ms. Park.''

''Thank you for the chance.''

Once they took off, flight attendant came with some food and drinks. Penelope was eating and noticed that her boss was looking at her.

''Is everything ok?''

''I think I should be asking you that Ms. Park?''

''Why?''

''Well, I know about the recent events in your life…''

Penelope didn't expect that comment from her boss.

''What?''

''I know about the affair your wife is having.''

''What? How?''

''It's my job to know things about people who work for me. Some of our cases are high profile and I make sure to protect people who work for me and know what happens with their families.''

''How long?''

''What?''

''How long have you known about Josie's affair?''

''About five months…''

''And you haven't told me?''

''It was not my place to say anything. It's something you and her should resolve…''

''I wish I knew what to do.''

Elizabeth took a sip of her wine and leaned into her seat.

''May I be honest?''

''Yes, please.''

''I think you should leave.''

''Why?''

''Because if you stay, it will be nightmare.''

''Why do you say that Ms. Cooper.''

''Call me Elizabeth…''

Penelope nodded and Elizabeth continued.

''I met my ex-husband when we were in college. I was freshman, he was sophomore and it was a whole new world for a very sheltered girl. I came from a very wealthy family and all of the relations we had were with people who were just like us. My father was a judge. He was very conservative, republican guy who believed in tradition and a lot of things I question now. For us, law was our family business. My brother died very young and my father focused all of his attention and hopes on me. Coopers were big name in justice system. We have lawyers, judges, prosecutors…and it was somehow expected from me to keep up the tradition and be part of that legacy. So, I came into Yale with very clear path my parents chose for me. I had no idea how my world and beliefs would be shattered and shaken to the core. ''

Penelope noticed small smile on Elizabeth's face. Going down the memory lane was bittersweet moment for her.

''Harold was my opposite. Henry came from very humble family, his father was working as an office clerk, his mother was working in the shop. He had two more brothers and his parents earned just enough to cover their life cost. Any extra money, boys had to ern themselves. College was unexpected option for him to change his life and try to be better than his parents. He hoped he would be able to help them out one day and help them live better life. He dreamed of sending his parents to holiday. They've never been on holiday. Their family couldn't afford it. Yale was something he never expected, but basketball provided him that. He was on scholarship and he had so many illusions. At first he was laying low, feeling the crowd and kept himself out of trouble. He couldn't afford to be expelled. After some time, things changed. He became more visible through sport and he realized his voice mattered to some people and that's where it started. Era of Henry Holt, outspoken point guard started at the protest against one of the football player some girls accused of taking advantage of them. That is how his fight for the silenced ones started. Ne was not your everyday jock. He knew that many boys could get away with murder because they were ''important'' for the school and he didn't like it. His entire team backed him up on that. Every protest on campus, he was part of or even organized. He was always in trouble for his liberal ideas and views. And he was really pain in the ass when it came to very conservative teachers and students. We met at some party and as usual, I was warned by my friends that were everything he hated, to stay away from him. As usual, I didn't listen. ''

Both Penelope and Elizabeth smiled at that.

''I can relate… Everyone told Josie to stay away from me. I was a foster kid. I was trouble. At least that was what my file said. It said that I hurt my foster parents, my biological parents, that I often get in trouble… But what it was never mentioned was that I was defending myself, that I was almost raped few times and that I was abused by my parents and foster parents… Josie's family never really liked me and accepted me. I never managed to get rid of the label of foster care scum I had since I walked into that school.''

''My dad never liked him and when we got married, he was deeply disappointed in me. He didn't leave me without inheritance and he didn't renounce me but I knew I broke his heart and disappointed him deeply. He told me that one day I will grow to regret that marriage and I never believed him. I was in love and to me it looked we would be happy forever. I believed Henry would change in time and that he will be what my dad needed him to be to be really accepted in the family. My dad wanted to help him advance in career and help him find hood job. He lost a child already and he didn't want that pain again and that is why he was making an effort with our marriage.. He offered the job to me and my husband after we passed the bar and he really wanted to be there for me. He loved me and he accepted Henry just because of me. Henry didn't want to work for my dad. He worked for some small firm that usually represented people who had no money and cases were usually related to some social and racial issues. And to be honest, it felt good wining those cases and feeling like you are doing something big. I loved it, but things changed for me when I got pregnant. I guess, family is a big trigger for women. You seek safety and a way to protect your future and kids. He wanted family and I realized that working those cases we would never have enough for the kids. He didn't want to take money from my dad and didn't want us to live with my parents. We had two children in a span of a year and I realized that something had to change. I started working with my dad and the money I was earning in a month was something he would have to work for much longer. It was clear soon that I was the one bringing the bacon home and he was living of his illusions. His money would cover part of the bills and mine would cover everything else. He couldn't accept that I started working for my dad and started representing clients that were everything he was fighting against. That is when our problems started. We were not spouses, but enemies… It was all about the money and questioning of my morals since I was representing not so good people. But I realized that I had to sell my soul to the devil if I want to provide for my kids. I wanted them in best schools; I wanted them to have better chances than their dad. Henry was smart, but just from the wrong side of the tracks and that slowed down his progress. When kids were eleven, I learned that he had an affair with one of his interns. She was young, she was gorgeous and she looked at him as I did long time ago. ''

Both Elizabeth and Penelope had sad smiles. They understood what was the attraction of someone new. Penelope didn't step out of the marriage, but she knew what could possibly someone new bring into her life. Elizabeth took a sip of her water and continued to speak.

''She didn't have all the fighting, money talks, children, disappointments, broken promises… You know what usually happens in a marriage. Sasha was fresh and she made him feel good about himself. In her eyes he was not useless. In her eyes he was the man, not one more person to support and take care of. In her eyes he saw himself attractive, wanted and powerful. Their relationship was based on something different than ours. I could see the hate in my husband's eyes and I stopped wanting him and wishing to be his woman. Unfortunately, the life I lived managed to take his masculinity from him.''

Penelope knew what Elisabeth was talking about. She and Josie had some of the problems Elizabeth spoke about. Since Josie stopped working she looked at Penelope and her earnings with despise.

''I confronted him and he promised to end it. He kept saying she was a mistake, that he loves me, that he will change… He even left his job and started working for some other firm. It was not in the rank of the place I was at, but it was better and had better clients. At least those clients could afford to pay. We were really trying to work things out. I wanted to believe him. I needed to believe he would never do that again, but it was so hard. I doubted every action, every phone call, every time he was late home or not picking up his phone. You know that our job sometimes can be unpredictable. You know that sometimes things take time. Some meetings last longer than planed… So I started following him… I stated keeping tabs on him and I felt like that was making me feel toxic. I was spying on my own husband. I couldn't function until I got the call about his whereabouts. It was even taking toll on my job. I was so obsessed with knowing every detail of his day, that I forgot my work. In the end I realized I can't do it anymore. If I kept being married to him, I would have gone crazy and would have been without the job. I was not that person. I didn't want to be that person Penelope. I never followed anyone. I never allowed myself to feel that insecure… And I knew it had to end. So, I filed for divorce and kids chose him. All of the sudden I was a bad guy for ending it. ''

She took a sip of her drink…

''Irony of life is that he is married to that girl he cheated with for over twenty years now… She was not that meaningless as he said she was. They have two children together. I've been paying child support to him until kids turned eighteen and they hated me for ending the marriage. They blamed me. I was a bad guy and their dad and Sasha were the good ones. They lived with them and she was a perfect mom, mom that was always there, not like the bitch that never has time for them, but send the check every month. They said that he would have never cheated if I was a woman enough. But bad mom financed their schools, their hobbies, their every wish and I never was good enough to them. After some time I just accepted it and moved on.''

Penelope felt bad for her. She didn't deserve that from her kids. She was not sure how twins would react to the divorce, but she knew that she would at least have Helena and her support. Penelope put her hand over Elizabeth's and smiled.

'' It's their loss. I think you are incredible and I would be honored to be your child and have someone to fight for me and my better existence. All I have in life is because I worked my ass off for it.''

''And that's why I picked you… You are hungry Penelope and I appreciate that hunger and motivation.''

''So, you think I should leave my wife before mad jealousy eats me?''

''Short answer is yes. Once broken trust never can be mended. Nothing can change that. If you stay, it will only drag you to your personal bottom. That is why I am telling you this Penelope. Leave until you can look yourself in the mirror and your dignity is untouched…. All the stories that love is worth it all and that when there is true love, dignity doesn't matter are lie. In the end of the day… that is all you have…Especially when you have kids. They can't see your low. They deserve the best version of their mother and it's your duty to give it to them.''

Penelope had to think about what she just heard. She knew Elizabeth was right. She was already giving into her paranoia. She turned on her GPS in order to check if Josie would use her car and if she did where would she go. She already doubted her enough and this was unnecessary burden. She didn't want to be that person that follows her partner and she was slowly becoming it.

As soon they landed, Elizabeth and her got into their business mode and they were ready to meet with the NY lawyer and start preparing for the trail and building up the defense. Penelope sent message to Josie and Helena that she arrived and promised she would call later to speak to twins and wish them all good night. She checked her GPS and it showed that the car was parked at home. None of them used it since she left. Part of her felt relieved, but she knew this was just first day and few hours since she left. There were ten more days to go and a lot of opportunities to see what would happen.