Rain: Hey everyone! Welcome back to the show! I am hard at work for the next chapter but I decided to make mini-chapters going deep into the mind of certain characters and this little mini-chapter belongs to our dear despondent detective.

I will also say for this Side-chapter, you'll want to listen to Memories of the School from Persona 3. It's a beautiful yet somber melody that I feel currently fits Jane. So enjoy this Side-chapter!

A Mother's Love
Side Chapter: Memories of Light

I remember when I first saw you.

Frost, Korsak and I were waiting at a crime scene. I had just gotten back from my stint as Hoyt's wanna-be victim.

When I first saw you, it was like I had tunnel vision.

You walked onto the scene as if it was a runway.

A calm expression, a confident walk and clothes that hugged your curves just right. I remember joking with you later that you were the reason for the neck injuries that plagued our department for those first few days.

But what drew me to you was how fearless you were in our brief argument. I know my reputation in the BPD as "Hurricane Jane" or "The Lioness" or simply "The Bitch in Blue" but you didn't take the attitude I gave you lying down.

You instantly stood up to me and no one, not even my partners did that.

When I heard those assholes calling you "Queen of the Dead" behind your back, I couldn't help myself but to protect you.

I wasn't expecting you to hear about that…

But you did and I'm so happy you did because after that, we were friends.

It was scary how quickly you became a strong part of my life. Being from opposite sides of the track, I thought that we wouldn't get along but like, it made us more in sync with each other.

But I soon began to notice more things about you.

The first thing I immediately noticed was how selfless you were. When you found out I was going on a date, you literally gave me your high-end clothes to wear just to make my ugly ass look good.

The second thing I quickly realized was how attractive you were. I knew you were always pretty but when you had on my suit, I had never been so attractive to a single person in my entire life.

Third thing I realized was how your smile made me melt.

And it was that third thing that made me seek it out more. Every time you laughed or smiled at one of my stupid jokes or something you found amusing, it was like I was gazing at Helen of Troy. It got to the point that every morning, I would wake up how I could make you smile or laugh that day.

The more we hung out together, the more I realized that I didn't need to put on an act like I did with Gabriel or Casey or any other guy I was seeing.

You didn't see the scarred, afraid victim of Charles Hoyt nor did you see the Ace Detective of the BPD.

You saw me.

At my highest and my lowest, you saw me and the oddest part was that I let you see all of me. Something I didn't let anyone see.

Not Casey.

Not Gabriel.

Not even my own Ma.

Only you.

That's when I realized that I had a crush on you and that…That really scared me.

So I slept with Casey the moment I saw him again.

I ran…

But unlike the previous times Casey and I were together, I felt…incomplete. It was like biting into a juicy steak only to taste ash. The man that I had chased over and over again since high school was like ash to me and just seeing you smile was the big juicy high-end steak.

After that, I decided to end whatever the hell it was Casey and I had and just accepted the crush as it was.

A harmless crush.

But what I didn't know was that it would grow into the full fledge L-word.

There was so many times where I was close to fully realizing my feelings for you.

When I spent the two weeks recovering from shooting myself in the gut and cried out for you in my drugged up haze or when I went away those three weeks to reflect on her death only to find myself wishing you were by my side.

But the day it finally happened was when Ma got you that tortoise suitcase.

I remember walking into your domain and seeing the suitcase. When I asked you about it, you said that Ma bought it because it matched your personality.

When I had mentioned how she got me a Leopard Spotted suitcase, you told me exactly how Leopards are seen.

Intelligent.

Strong.

Illusive.

Secretive.

And beautiful.

Then you smiled at me, your eyes sparkling with joy while I started to tease you about the suitcase again. It was only after I left your office and got to my desk that I realized that you were talking about me. Only you could make mask your compliments to me beneath a compliment about an animal.

Only you can make me realize something so huge from something so little…

Maura…I never told you this but to me, you're like a beacon of light sent from the Heavens above. Always warm, always welcoming and always guiding me to do the right thing, even if it led me down a painful road.

I knew that if I revealed my feelings to you, there was a very strong chance that you would run away so I did what you said I always do and ran from them. Ran as hard and as fast as I could to stay in your warm embrace.

But because of me trusting Gabriel…I lost the one person I never wanted to live a day without. Because of me, the warm embrace of my Heaven's light has faded away and I'm left fumbling around in the cold and dark unknown.

I'm so scared Maura…

Please…

I need you.

Rain: And that is the end of this Side-chapter and insight into where my version of Jane is sitting. The Official chapter is coming up fairly soon. If you guys enjoyed this side-chapter, I'm glad and I will do one for Maura in two (or three) chapters so until the next one…

Jane: *expressionless stare*