Rain: Hello guys! Another new chapter. A Side chapter deep into the mind of Dr. Maura Isles and believe me, you guys will enjoy the Bittersweet Rizzles moment in this so sit back, relax and enjoy the show!

A Mother's Love
Side Chapter: Good Enough

"So take care what you ask of me 'Cause I can't say no…."

Those words continue to drift inside of my head like a floatation device within a large body of water. I knew the song….It was J-Her song for me. She didn't know that I knew this. I happened to have taken her MP3 and found it.

It was beautiful, enchanting…haunting…Just like her.

I never believed in the notion of "Love at First Sight" but the first time I met her, I was under her spell. Her confidence, her wit, her take charge attitude was what made me attracted to her but there was a tenderness that she only showed me that made me fall in love with her.

The gentle touches, the rather adorable nicknames, the secret smiles. It didn't matter that she slept with Casey or Gabriel because I knew that her tender side was reserved for me and me alone.

There were so many times where she would cock that confident grin at me that made me I want her in the sexual sense and there were other times, in her more downbeat and insecure moments that made me long to kiss those fears away.

It was all supposed to be so simple. Jane and I were best friends, we were supposed to catch bad guys with Barry and Vincent. We would spend time with Angela and my parents, maybe go on a few vacations and life would be good.

Simple and Clean.

But now, everything is in disarray.

My biological father is in the hospital, shot by my best friend, everyone knows that I'm the daughter of a renowned mobster and the most damning thing of all, he somehow knew my mother and knows the identity of my biological mother.

I feel like I'm in a whirlwind and the one person I want to turn to is no longer here. All because she didn't trust me. But despite feeling hurt and betrayed, I'm drowning without her.

I need her to come to me and tell me that everything will be okay.

It was then I heard my bedroom door creek open. It had to have been my mother. She often comes in to check on me. I heard the footsteps come closer to the bed and that's when I caught the scent.

Pumpkin Cinnamon scented body wash…There was only one person that I personally knew that had that scent.

"Jane?" I croaked out.

I felt the bed creek and felt her arms slip around my body and pull me close to her. I was so weak and tired that I allowed her to do this.

Immediately, I felt the drowning feeling subside and I felt more at peace.

My mother always said that whenever she was sad or worried, she would seek out my father and have him hold her. She said that in his arms, she always found her home.

I never understood that before but I get it now.

In her arms, I found peace.

I felt at home.

"This is trespassing detective," I told her softly.

"I know," she replied.

She sounded so exhausted and I could hear the sadness thick in her voice. "Why are you here?" I asked.

"I couldn't sleep…I haven't slept in a while…" She replied, her breath hitting the back of my neck. I could already feel the goosebumps beginning to rise at the closeness of the woman I longed to see again.

"So you broke in?" I asked her.

I could hear the faint mirth in her voice as she replied "Nah…Constance let me in."

Mother let her in?

Well…It makes sense actually. I haven't told mother anything that had happened…I wanted her recovery to be in peace before I told her all that has happened in the last few weeks. "You shouldn't be here," I told the detective, despite knowing in my heart that I was glad she was.

"I know..." She replied. "But I'm miserable without you Maura…."

I felt tears pool at my eyes as she tightened her hold around me. "I'm still mad at you…You really hurt me Jane…" I told her as the tears started to fall down my face.

"I know…" She told me, her breath hitching slightly.

She must be crying as well.

Oh, my detective…

"I-I screwed up…" she told me softly. "I have to live with that…And I know I shouldn't be here but being without you is torture. I just wanted to see you and hold one last time…"

One last time…

Those words…They seemed so final to me…

My heart…It hurts so badly.

I must be experiencing a Takotsubo cardiomyopathy because that's what it feels like. I slowly turned around in her arms and gazed into her dark and saddened eyes and just as I thought, there was tears falling down her face.

I reached up and touched her cheek, feeling the wetness beneath them. "I'll be angry at you when I wake up…" I warned.

"I'll be gone before you do…" she replied softly.

"I'll tell mother not to let you in again," I told her.

"I had a feeling you would," she replied once again.

"You can't come back again Jane….Doing this would only continue to hurt us both…" I told her.

"Yeah, I know…" She said, her eyes glistening with tears that I knew was bound to fall and I knew it was because of me…

And I strongly hated myself for causing them.

"Why does this hurt so much?" I finally asked. "You hurt me…Betrayed me and may have cost me the chance to know about my biological mother and yet every word I just said to you feels like I'm stabbing myself in the chest…"

"I think I have a good idea why…" she whispered and without any hesitation, her lips met mine. When I imagined kissing her for the first time, I thought it would be rough and full of emotions but here…It was loving, gentle and sweet….It retained that tenderness that Jane only showed to me…

It made my heart soar that she still retained that but it made my heart break when I realized why she kissed me.

I had wanted it for so long but I didn't want it like this and yet, I couldn't stop myself as I returned her kiss with every bit of emotion that I felt for her. We separated and I stared into her eyes and I couldn't stop the sad smile from appearing on my face.

"I wish I had the courage to do that before all of this but it's just another thing I ran from," She said with a hint of bitterness. "And I know that doing this now won't change what went down that day nor your feelings about it…But I wanted you to know that even though we're going to apart from this night on…I love you Maura Isles and no matter what happens, I always will…" She whispered.

"O-Oh…Jane…" I whispered as stared into her eyes. Despite the sadness within them, I could also see the warmth and love in them. "Y-You're right…Saying it now doesn't change how I feel about has happened…But I love you too. I have for a long time…But you caused some serious damage to me…And I can't let that go…"

"I know," Jane said softly.

"But that is for tomorrow…Tonight, I just want you to be with me…Be one with me…" I told her.

"Are you sure?" she asked.

"If this is our goodbye…I want it to end with us together…Please…" I whispered.

Instead of answering vocally, Jane's lips found mine once more and I surrendered to her. What should have been a night filled with celebration for our union was a feeling both sublime and bittersweet.

Her body seemed to fit my like a puzzle. So much more than any other person I had ever been with before.

Through her sweet whispers and gentle kisses, she told me that she wanted to bring me pleasure and through my cries of passion and screams of her name, I realized it….Should I still ask this of her?

She was so willing to put myself above her own needs that it felt wrong of me to expect her to leave. Should I ask her to just forget what I said and just be with me? But if I did, I would only betray my own feelings…But aren't I doing that anyway by letting her walk away from my life?

Over and over, she brought me to my to that sweet release, her tender and loving kisses silencing the moans and doubts that raced through my head and after one final leap of the edge, I gave her my fifth release.

Exhausted, I looked up at her but she merely smile at me and said "Go to sleep Maura…I'll be gone before you wake up."

"J-Jane I…I don't…" I started but a kiss silenced me and I soon entered a deep sleep.

But not before I heard her whisper "My Sweet Doctor," and felt was her lips on my forehead.

And when I woke up at 10 A.M in the morning, she was gone…

And once again, that haunting lyrics filled my head and I knew now more than ever what I had done.

"So take care what you ask of me….'Cause I can't say no…."

Rain: Yeah….So this turned out so much different than I planned but I think that will make this so much more interesting….I wonder how Angela and Constance will deal with this? Only one way to find out…