Chapter Thirteen

Pathetic

Alistair left with no mention of when, or if, he would come back. Lena knew, of course, that he never intended to stay long. He didn't present himself as a creature of permanency. A nomad, Carlisle called him. It meant wanderer.

Rosalie called him a coward.

Lena liked to believe it was a tactical retreat, and that it wouldn't be the last she saw of him. She thought she glimpsed a man not unlike her, a man whose bones were haunted by a monster, whose body housed a ghost he didn't try to drive out. She wanted to think he would come back, his beast at the surface, when the time was right. She wanted to think he would stand eye-to-eye and toe-to-toe to his tormentor, Demetri. It was what she expected a man like him to do.

But two days passed, and still he hadn't returned.

Maybe she was wrong about him.

Lena surprised herself with a short sigh, the sound familiarly human. She sat by the living room window, and watched as drops of rain slid down the glass. She missed home. She didn't know it was possible for a place to be so wet and gloomy.

Footsteps drew her attention. It wasn't abnormal to hear someone moving. She lived in a house with six others, and as light-footed as they all were, her acute hearing never failed her.

"Lena," Carlisle called.

When he said nothing more, she turned her head to look at him.

He stood at the bottom of the stairs, wrapping a grey scarf around his neck, undoubtedly off to go play human. A look of pity washed over his face as he looked at her, his smile gentle and his gaze soft and unbearable.

"Are you alright?"

She nodded. Why wouldn't she be?

He moved closer, and it took everything in her not to back away, not to show a sign of apprehension. She hadn't forgotten his relationship with Aro. She wouldn't let it slip her mind.

"Alistair is… a complicated man," he said. "He dislikes society, and generally tries to avoid it."

It was nothing she didn't already know, though why he was telling her any of this Lena wasn't sure.

"It may be another century before he returns, and you see him again." Carlisle patted her shoulder. "I apologise on his behalf. I know you considered him a friend."

A friend? She wasn't so sure about that.

But Carlisle's gaze was older, wiser. He seemed to be convinced that the two were more than acquaintances. His amber eyes brimmed with pity, as if she had lost a lover or her family all over again. She couldn't help but wish they weren't his. She wanted Alistair's harrowing stare, his hawkish red eyes set upon her, judging. She wanted his harsh tongue, his careless words. It was better than this. Not quite so burdensome.

Anything was better than Carlisle's saint-like compassion.

He squeezed her shoulder, then let her go. "I'm going to work."

Lena nodded.

He paused by the door. "Jasper's outside waiting for you."

Of course he was. She wasn't allowed out of the house to look at the clouds without a chaperone, let alone to go hunting.

The Cullens didn't trust her. It was for good reason, too. There was no doubt in her mind that if she caught the scent of human blood while hunting, she would chase after it. She was preoccupied with the thought even when she wasn't hungry.

She accepted the fact that she was expected to stick to their abnormal diet if she was going to stay in the area. She also accepted the fact that, if she left, the Cullens would not be quite so friendly if they were to cross paths again. One could overlook one of their own attacking a family member, but not an outsider.

Staying with the Cullens promised protection, but obeying them was nothing short of a nightmare. Even she, who lacked the basic training she was supposed to receive from her creator, could tell that their way of life was unnatural and smothering.

"Lena?"

"Hmm?" She blinked at Carlisle. "I'll go see him now."

He smiled that small, pitying smile again. His eyes were sickeningly sweet, and full of sympathy.

She wanted to pluck them from his skull.

hey guys - it's been a while. life kinda just happened and i had to put my writing on the back burner for a bit, but now i'm back! just a short chapter today but i hope u enjoyed it

stay safe x