Chapter 13: Hajimari; Beginnings
Natsume walked around in a long grey tunic, barefooted, and all around him was sheer white. In the distance he saw the outlines of trees, but they were bare and stained black. In fact, the entire environment seemed to be in shades of black and whie.
"Where am I?"
He wondered around a bit more and noted a river. Walking towards it, Natsume bent down to look at his reflection. He reached out to the water but his eyes reflected sadness.
"Do I walk around with that look in my eyes the whole time?"
Suddenly the braid which he had kept so preciously in his headband fell out. The emerald green beads reflected in the light and his first reaction was to catch it. He ran his fingers against the shiny beads, calming down as he did so. He never knew why they were able to calm him down since they were the very reason for his misery.
"What am I doing?" He thought while his eyes glazed over
"Your duty." A girl's voice rang out throughout the surroundings.
Natsume stood up quickly and tucked the braid back into his headband. Looking left and right, he tried to find the source of the voice.
"Show yourself!"
He moved a little too quickly and a sheer pain ripped through his back once again. Biting his lower lip, he cursed as the pain slowly subsided. How did he get the pain?
Oh, right.
That mad man grabbed hold of him and starting cutting into his skin as if he were a piece of meat. Whatever he did, it brought him levels of pain he never experienced before. Sure, the pain has been surfacing more recently, but it was something that he could handle. Going through that torture was a whole new thing.
"What was he extracting from my back anyway?"
Natsume reached behind and touched a spot. He could feel he small scar as he ran his finger along the whole incision.
"Your feathers."
The voice rang out again and Natsume was starting to be a little freaked out at the mysterious voice.
"Stop hiding! Show yourself!"
"I'm here."
Natsume whipped around to see a younger version of himself, in fact he saw his 10-year-old self grinning at him. His hairs at the base of his neck stood up. This was a sick joke.
"Who are you?" Natsume questioned the boy.
"Silly, I'm you." The small boy laughed at the absurd question.
Walking towards the small boy, he grabbed his shoulder, "Stop joking around! Tell me where I am!"
The small boy continued laughing, "You are in your own memories. You are in the plane of memories."
"The plane of memories? Isn't this place inaccessible by mortals?"
"But you are no mere mortal Natsume. You are more than that." The boy appeared behind him and chuckled again.
"Who are you really?"
"An embodiment of what you want to see. You seem to have forgotten everything, shinigami."
Natsume's eyes narrowed at his younger self. This is insane. How could he be a shinigami, does this younger version of him even know what he was talking about? Everything here defies logic. He had to get out.
"Tell me how to get out, I'm done playing games with you."
"Will yourself out then. That is, if you know how." The small boy appeared beside the river and began pulling out the weeds by the side. "The pain will begin again." Looking up at Natsume, he smirked and disappeared.
"Wait!" Natsume shouted and the pain once again enveloped his back. This was ridiculous. Clenching his fist, he began running away from his current position. Anywhere was better than staying put.
"You can't run away from your duties, from what you are." The voice echoed all around.
"Then tell me!" Natsume was desperate. He did not like being in this place and he definitely did not like playing mind games with his younger self.
Younger Natsume appeared before him and held out a mirror, "better yet, I'll show you. You'll remember everything Natsume."
"Please calm down! What good would destroying this earth do? You're defying the Gods!" A raven-haired boy pleaded with the four elements.
"Is that… me?" Natsume thought to himself and looked to his younger version. It was a strange thing, seeing his present self and his younger self in the same scene.
"Be quiet you lowly being!" The terra element told the boy off.
"Now I know why that crazy element attacked me."
"What you're doing would only push the humans away from the Gods. You're destroying whatever faith they have in God!" The Natsume look-alike continued his plea.
"Buzz off!" The Aria element blasted a burst of wind at him.
"Can't you see?! You're being consumed by darkness! Your hearts are clouding over!" He shouted.
"We do what we will to make the humans remember the wrath God can deal out. Stay out of this messenger." The Aqua element coolly said and regarded her siblings. Nodding to each other they disappeared, leaving the shinigami alone amidst the destruction.
Saddened greatly, the shinigami concentrated and from his back a pair of black wings were produced.
"What…? Was that the cause of all those surges in pain?!"
Following him, the shinigami flew over great distances, observing the damage dealt by the four elements. Occasionally he would see a lost soul and would personally guide them to the underworld. Other times, Kami would call for him and he would sadly give an account of all that he saw.
Unable to take so much destruction, he arrived at a small village and walked on the ground. He placed a hand on a charred piece of wood and stared at the burnt village. Then he heard sobbing.
"Dear God… I know that you are upset because we humans have forgotten about you and the gifts that you have given to us."
Walking towards the small voice, he saw a young girl kneeling in the mud which was now a mixture of blood and sand. She prayed fervently while staring up at the darkened sky.
"There is still one amongst us who believes…" Natsume heard his doppelganger's thoughts.
"But even so, it is unfair to punish those who are innocent. What use is this life if you take it away so easily?" The small girl continued. "As the destruction continues, so does the malice of those who use this opportunity to pillage and plunder. All I ask now is for peace and stability."
The shinigami walked closer to the girl and stood beside her. Ensuring that she couldn't see him, he sat down beside her.
"I have lost my entire village and I have nothing to offer you…" She whimpered, "but if my life which is the greatest gift you have given to mankind proves to be of worth, take it. In return for peace and stability, take my life and retract your anger."
The young girl raised a small dagger high above her head and was about to plunge it down deep into her stomach. Natsume shinigami stuck out his hand and caught hers.
"Don't do it." He bore into the girl's hazelnut eyes.
The girl's eyes widened in fear as she stared at the being clothed in pristine white while his contrasting black wings blocked out whatever little sunlight there was.
She lost the strength in her arms and allowed him to take the dagger.
"Taking your life would only sadden the Gods." Natsume explained while incinerating the dagger to ashes.
"Who… who are you?" The little girl hugged her knees in fear.
"Shinigami." Natsume regarded the small girl.
"Shini…?"
"Shinigami. A being who acts as a messenger for the Gods." He sat back down beside the girl and looked at the gloomy sky.
"So you're an angel?" The little girl felt no threat from the older boy and stretched her hand out to touch the black feathers.
Feeling her touch, his wings jerked back and she immediately withdrew her hand.
"Sorry, it's just that no mortal has touched these wings before. They're a little unaccustomed to your touch. Here," Natsume plucked out a feather and gave it to her. "you can touch this."
The girl shyly stretched out her hand to take the feather.
"I'm not an angel." Natsume continued their previous topic.
"Then you're an oni?"
He chuckled, surprised that a child could be so curious.
"No… I suppose I'm not as well."
The girl looked at him with a confused look, obviously not being to comprehend that one could belong to neither sides.
"I'm not good nor bad. I don't belong to heaven or earth. I would like to go to heaven, but I have to complete enough good deeds to earn me a place. So other than that, I'm just a messenger who is able to go between heaven and hell."
"Are you lonely and sad? Just like how I am?"
"Why'd you say that?" Natsume looked down at the child.
"Because just like Sakura, you have no place to go. You don't belong to heaven or hell. My village has been destroyed and my family is dead."
Her words resonated within him. Was he lonely? Was he sad? For sure, he hated the destruction and wailing around him, but he never gave it much thought.
"What are you going to do now?" He brushed the thought away and voiced his concern.
Sakura hugged her knees and stared at the feather in her fingers, "I'll wait for Kami's reply. I have nothing else to do anyway. Thank you Shinigami-san."
"What for?"
"For keeping me company. You can go about your duties while I sit here and wait for Kami to reply me. I promise to be patient."
Then a thought suddenly struck him. "You do that. Stay here, I'll be back in a while." Stretching out his wings, Natsume took flight. Feeling more determined than ever, he flew straight through the gates of heaven and into the great halls where the Gods sat.
Seeing the messenger fly in, they stopped whatever conversation they were having and stared at him.
"What is it messenger?" One of the God's questioned him.
"You promised that if one person believes in your existence and remembers you, you would spare this earth."
"There is no such person." All the Gods broke out in a laughter.
Natsume kept quiet and walked to the large water bowl in the middle. Touching it with his index finger, he brought up the image of Sakura sitting on the bloodied ground playing with the feather.
"There is. She is the one."
The Gods stared at the image of the girl happily holding up the feather against the light. She then opened her mouth and sang one of the prayers which were used as thanks to the Gods while waiting for her Shinigami to return.
Hearing her song, the darkness over their hearts was lifted and it suddenly dawned on them that they were neglecting their duties.
"How long have we neglected mankind?" God asked the messenger.
"Long enough. They have turned against each other, taking lives, pillaging. Your loyal servants have been consumed by rage and darkness that balance is now overthrown." Shinigami Natsume looked deep into each of their eyes to convey the severity of the situation.
Nodding in agreement, one of the God's stood up. "Come, we will hand you a gift which you are to pass to that girl. You are no longer a mere shinigami anymore- you shall be her protector. She is the only one capable of bringing back the balance which is lost."
Natsume hurriedly followed behind the God, "Why her?"
"She is still a child and her heart has not yet been tainted by evil. Those with anger and doubt cannot wield this weapon." The God stopped in front of a large boulder and drew out the sword. "This sword is used to regain balance. It will be able to extinguish the evil within men's hearts, but you must guide her in gaining the trust of the 4 elements and over life and death. With that, she shall restore what once was."
Taking the sword between his hands, he bowed low before taking off and reaching the girl.
"Kami has heard your prayers. Now, you have been given a task. Do you accept it?"
The little girl stood up and brushed the dirt from her dress.
"I will."
"Then Sakura, let's begin your journey with this Shinigami."
Natsume's eyes shot open. He remembered everything, everything that happened in his past life. He remembered the familiar feeling he had when he first saw Mikan and it has plagued him ever since. He hated how she could get under his skin and irk him when no one else could. He remembered how his body would naturally react when danger was around her. He remembered he was a shinigami.
"Not was, you still are Natsume-san." A girl with silver hair stood to his right, her violet dress swaying gently with the wind.
"You got to be kidding me, am I still dreaming? If so, this is one hell of a long dream."
"Protect my mistress. Remember your duty." The silver haired girl spoke and disappeared with Natsume's next blink.
"Did all that really happen? I need to get up. I need to gather my thoughts."
Natsume roused from his sleep realized he was placed face down on the bed. Moving his arms to push himself up, his left hand brushed against someone's head. Jerking away from the foreign object, he regretted moving with such haste as his back hurt.
"Ouch…" he muttered to himself as his body collapsed back on the bed. He looked to his left and saw a whole head of golden-brown locks. To the side of the head, he saw the golden bead which reflected the soft sunlight that was streaming through the makeshift window. Looking around, his eyes fixed on the bowl of red water on the nightstand and beside it, another small bowl with black feathers.
"Great. I thought being cut up was a dream as well."
Moving slowly so as not to wake the princess, he pushed himself off the bed gingerly. Finally, able to move, he lowered his legs and glanced over his shoulder, ensuring that Mikan was still asleep. Shifting his weight to his legs, he stood up and stretched slowly, aware of the slight pain from his five new wounds. He caught sight of his back in the mirror and touched the wounds lightly. Noting that the new baby pink skin was healing nicely underneath the translucent paste, he walked back to the bed and stared at Mikan.
Clutching tightly in her hand was a brown jar which was now close to being empty. Prying the jar from her death like grip, he took a whiff of it before setting it down on the nightstand.
"Nasty stuff… this element really likes torturing me. A bath… a bath…"
Mikan stirred slightly from her sleep and Natsume froze in place. He knew she had been up slapping on thick layers of the salve on his back since he could smell it from where he was standing. Bending down, he slid an arm beneath her knee and supported her with the other. Taking a deep breath, he lifted her off the ground.
"I thought she was putting on more weight, but was she always this light?"
Natsume chuckled to himself. This would be the second time he was carrying her and thinking that exact same thoughts. Walking to the thin curtain, he used his elbow to open one side before slipping his body through the opening. Placing her on her bed, he tugged the covers over her and walked away.
However, while he was gathering his bathing essentials, he heard footsteps behind him.
Mikan groggily got off her bed and walked back to check on Natsume, not bothering to recall if she ever made it to her bed last night. Seeing him up and about through the sheer curtain, she rubbed her eyes and walked over to him.
"Good morning Natsume-san." Mikan chirped while stifling a yawn.
Natsume's eyes showed surprise and she tilted her head to the side.
"Was putting her in her bed a waste of effort?"
"Morning." Natsume curtly said before returning to stuffing his new clothes and bath soaps in his arms. Then he turned on his heels and headed for the bath.
While Natsume was gathering his things, Mikan surveyed his back. It was healing nicely but… has it always been that muscular? Was his shoulders ever so broad? Her thoughts were cut short when Natsume moved off and closed the door to the bath.
Mikan noted that Ruka was still asleep and decided to clean up a little. She found a pitcher with clean water and washed her face quickly with the cold water. Seeing some left, she took a clean cloth and began wiping away any blood or healing salve on the ground.
Satisfied with her handiwork, she poured all the dirty water into a bowl before gathering them up and passing it to a servant which passed by.
Then it suddenly hit her that Natsume was most likely unable to wash his own back due to the wounds.
"But it is preposterous for a princess to wash the back of a commoner. Since when has social standings stopped you from doing something? Ok fine, but it is not acceptable for an unmarried lady to be doing something so outrages. He has done so many things for you, what harm would asking do? Fine if it's just asking."
Mikan finished the argument in her head before a loud crash emitted from the bathroom.
"Natsume-san?! Are you all right?"
No sound.
"Natsume-san? I'm coming in." Mikan placed her hand on the doorknob and twisted it while slowly pushing the door open. "Natsume?"
"Thank the heavens for the large amounts of steam." Was all Natsume could think of as Mikan slowly came into the bathroom. All he wanted was that one piece of cloth to clean his body but gravity decided to be a pain and the whole tub sitting on top of the cloth dropped to the ground, throwing him off balance and causing him to fall flat on the cold stone floor.
"Give me a moment. Don't step in any further." Natsume commented while grabbing a towel to hide his lower half.
"Did I just say give me a moment?! What is wrong with me?!" Natsume mentally chided his mouth.
"Natsume? Are you all right? I heard a really loud crash." Mikan's voice cut through the steam.
"I'm fine. What are you doing in the bathroom anyway? Don't you have any sense of propriety?" Natsume rubbed his sore body.
"Thank the heavens for the large amounts of steam." Mikan closed her eyes and thanked heavens; at least he could not see her red face. "I thought you'd have some trouble washing your back. If you like, I could help you."
Natsume wring the dreaded cloth that he wanted and tried to scrub his own back but the wounds made it difficult for him to reach the middle of it, shooting with pain every time he stretched too far.
The offer was tempting in his mind, but his common sense took the reins. The bathroom with a nearly naked man was not a place a princess should be. No, he cannot take that offer.
"I could use a bit of help. The wounds are making it difficult for me to reach the middle of my back." Natsume calmly replied while ignoring the fallen tub and moving to sit in the other one filled with the milky liquid. "No no no! What the hell are you saying you twerb?! Do you want to get executed?! This is absurb!"
Mikan moved to the counter which held the towels and she took a small thing one. "I'm coming in, excuse me."
She walked to the middle of the bathroom and saw the overturned tub, concluding that the loud crash came from this tub. Seeing Natsume's back facing her, she cleared her throat and walked up to him. Glad to note that this was the tub with the milky water, she grabbed a stool and sat behind him.
"Are you feeling better?" Mikan asked.
"I am, thank you." Natsume could feel his body tensing as Mikan dipped the cloth into the water behind him and wringed it.
She slowly pressed the soft fabric against his skin and began to gently clean his back. Feeling awkward, she tried talking to him.
"Misaki did a lot huh?" She said while cleaning the wound areas with utmost care.
"A lot is an understatement hime. He was cutting me up." Natsume flatly replied.
"But he did say it was necessary. The feathers were growing towards your lungs."
"That man is forever justifying his actions. He was like this in the past as long as I can remember."
The sound of water dripping back into the tub filled the silence.
"But you just met him yesterday." Mikan whispered, her hand pausing at the middle of his back.
Natsume didn't know how he was to explain to her that his past memories came back. Was it a normal thing?
"He did say something weird…" Mikan began again.
"He?"
"Misaki-san." Mikan squeezed the cloth in her hand, "He said you're the vessel of a shinigami. Is it true?"
Natsume let out a sigh. Great, that man didn't give him much of a choice in this incident.
"I just found out last night." Natsume replied while observing her reaction from the corner of his eye. "Do you believe me? Do you believe such things can happen?"
Mikan began moving her hand and continued cleaning his back. "From this journey, I believe anything can happen. I believe you, not because of all that has happened, but because I've been shown your past."
"You've seen my memories as a shinigami?" Natsume whipped around and stared at her eyes.
Mikan looked to the ground in embarrassment, the whole of last night, all she ever saw of him was his back, but now in front of her was his whole chest.
"No. But I've seen enough to know that you would never lie."
Natsume panicked. Did she see that incident yet? How could she trust him unless she's seen that? His barriers came back up again, not liking for one moment that someone else was snooping around in his memories.
"Don't act like you know me, princess. Just because I am the vessel of a shinigami and you are the supposed chosen one, it does not mean I am obliged to be anything more than your guide. The relationship we had in the past does not dictate the relationship we are going to have now."
The words stung Mikan's heart. How could he say that? It was not her choice which memories she saw, but whatever she's seen so far were just incidences which shaped him to become a soldier. She never saw any more than the last memory of him joining the army officially. Why was he so angry? Why was he accusing her?
Draping the cloth over the side of the tub, she stood up.
"I apologise for trying to get to know you. I thought we were friends and past the whole social standing thing. Clearly you've thought otherwise. I've cleaned your back and if there's nothing else, I'll leave. Do try to be move slowly and not aggravate the wound." Nodding her head slightly, she walked out of the bathroom, allowing a tear to roll out of her eye.
"Why am I feeling sad? We've only been travelling together for a month. Of course, he wouldn't want to be more than friends. He was forced into joining us on our quest. But why does my chest ache? His words only spoke the truth."
Not wanting to dwell on it, she walked back to the room and found Ruka gone. Looking to her bed, she saw a new set of clothes and quickly changed into it before going for breakfast.
"There are more important things than Natsume right now, things such as Sumire's test."
Sumire stared at the large pile of rotting books before her, not that she minded the smell but the numbers were overwhelming. She was starting to regret asking Nonoko to bring her all the books regarding plants which had the characteristics she had described. While impressed with her knowledge, Nonoko could not tell her where the information was found in the books.
Faced with not only the large numbers but the foreign terms they were using, Sumire let out a sigh.
"Giving up so quickly?" Ruka entered the library.
Sumire shook her head and sat straight. Pulling the pieces of parchment towards her, she took up the quill and started by writing the book's title. Then flipping the leather-bound cover, she started glancing through for the information she needed.
"Here." Ruka came up beside her and placed the potted plant on the desk.
Not bothering to raise her head to look at the plant causing all these problems, Sumire took down bits of information and placed the book in a new pile labelled 'USELESS'.
"Where's everyone else?" Sumire enquired while taking another book to scrutinise.
"Mikan's in the courtyard practicing her gymnastic skills while Natsume is looking around." Ruka walked over to the bookshelves and looked at a random title.
"Good morning Ruka-sama." Nonoko bowed her head and smiled at the handsome blonde.
Ruka nodded his head and picked out the book. Turning it around in his hand, he decided to brush up a bit on his knowledge regarding medicinal plants. Returning to another table, he started reading the book, leaving Sumire to her research.
Sumire thought back to the morning where she was given the green light to start on her test.
Misaki just smiled at her and said "begin".
Really, was that all he was going to say? He made her wait the entire night just to say one word? Sumire could not comprehend how this man could be so… she couldn't even find the word to insult him in her head. Annoyed, she grabbed a slice of bread on the table and stuffed it into her mouth. Storming off to the library, she called out for Nonoko while the bread was still in her mouth.
"Good morning Sumire-hime. How may I be of service?" Nonoko had her hair up in a loose bun and her light brown dress swayed as she curtsied.
"Give me all the books regarding a plant which is sensitive to touch and has flowers which bloom occasionally. Also, books on plans which flower early in their growth stages. Thanks."
Sumire walked off to find paper and writing equipment while leaving Nonoko to find her said books. However, she did not expect Nonoko to have found the large number of books already siting at her assigned table when she returned.
This brings her back to where she is now, and Nonoko was still carrying books to her table.
"Nonoko, how many books are there?" Sumire asked while tossing aside the 10th book she has scanned through.
"Including the ones, you've read…" Nonoko counted those in the 'USELESS' pile, she continued, "another sixty or so? I've already given you forty, do you need the other ten now?"
Sumire was in shock, she had to plough through another fifty books?!
Nonoko just giggled and continued finding the books which were requested of her.
Dipping her quill back into the ink pot, Sumire bit her tongue and continued looking through the books. She had to be patient, for all their sakes. Then the words 'sensitive to touch' stood out in the vast sea of words and a little spark of hope grew within her.
Absorbed in finding information, Sumire finally ploughed through all the sixty books and looked out of the window. It was finally dark and Sumire's stomach growled loudly. Looking down at her handwritten notes, Sumire could safely narrow down the plant's name to eight.
All she needed now was to find out definite ways to distinguish them, but that was going to be a problem after she got some food into her system.
Misaki looked around the little harbour town while Hotaru hid her bike in a deserted alley, under a large piece of unwanted canvas. It has been a long while since they had contact with civilisation, and one so near the sea at that.
"We should look for an inn to stay at, oh and eat this," Hotaru passed Misaki a suspiciously bright orange sweet.
"What's this?" Misaki eyed the candy before popping it into her mouth.
Immediately she felt an electric bolt shoot through her body and straight to the ends of her hair. Hotaru held up a small mirror for her to look and Misaki stifled a small gasp.
"My hair… it's turned black!" Misaki exclaimed.
Hotaru snorted and adjusted the weight of the bag on her shoulder. "We can't have the soldiers identify you while we're in this town. Don't worry, the effects will wear off in another three hours."
Not being able to fully accept that her hair was of a weird colour, Misaki took her own bag and followed Hotaru. Both of them were careful to avoid contact with the soldiers which were posted in this town. When they had first flew into the small town, there was nothing that stood out nor raised any alarms. However, that was soon to change.
As soon as Misaki and Hotaru secured a room in an inn, the front door banged open and in marched a group of soldiers. They sat wherever they liked and demanded for the innkeeper to serve them. With their hearts in their throats, both ladies moved slowly up the stairs into the rooms. Closing the door behind them, they heard the orders from the commanding officer.
"Men! Make sure to go to your posts after getting your fill. We are to ensure the princesses do not freely walk into this harbour. Any negligence will be dealt with severely!"
They heard the heavy footsteps exit the inn and murmurs could be heard throughout the inn.
"They're on the lookout for Mikan and company." Misaki whispered urgently.
Hotaru's purple eyes flashed with fear and anticipation, "we have to find that pirate fast."
"How? In such a town, pirates are a common occurrence. Besides, he could have blended in." Misaki retorted.
Hotaru thought for a while, "We can't give up now. Let's try asking around for him."
Misaki looked at the younger girl.
"After we had a rest and a change of clothes. We need to blend in even more." Hotaru took out a few pieces of clothing from her bag and started changing into them. "Just remember, they're not on a look out for me, but you're a whole different story. Be extra careful when you're out there." Hotaru warned her senior and passed her a few more of the orange sweets.
"We'll leave after the soldiers leave, by the back door." Misaki noted.
Hotaru nodded and pulled the black bandana over her hair before exiting the room to get some food.