Chapter 15: Naze; Why

Kuonji sat with his legs propped up on the gold-plated desk and stared at the noon's sun in the sky. It was beginning to be less noisy once he had sent Narumi to Mihara. For once, Kuonji could begin to enjoy his peaceful days. However, that was short lived as he heard muted shouting and screaming which entered through the thick glass windows. A vein started to pop in his forehead. Then he heard a series of heavy footsteps running pass the door to the study, followed by a loud knock.

"Kuonji-sama?" A man's voice was muffled by the thick wooden doors.

"It must be Goshima."

"Kuonji-sama?" The man repeated his call.

The hands that here clasped together on his lap tightened. He hated being interrupted during his break. He hated how the series of events were turning out. Ever since the princesses had left the palace, the whole kingdom had gone chaotic. First, he had to suppress those loyal to Izumi, then he had to appease the people. Playing the nice guy was starting to irritate him, a lot.

"Enter." Kuonji growled, refusing to turn towards his subordinate.

Goshima pressed the silver handle down and entered the grand study. Closing the door behind him, he bowed to Kuonji's back.

"Sir…" Goshima began.

"What is the ruckus I'm hearing Goshima?" Kuonji was clearly not pleased by the noise which was taken up a whole notch.

"It's the townspeople sir. They are rioting." Goshima looked at the back of the large armchair.

Kuonji remained quiet. "Rioting? Why? I've kept everything almost the same. I've done things the way Izumi has just that I've increased taxes a little and shut down those who opposed me."

Goshima, afraid that Kuonji did not hear him, repeated with more urgency.

"Sir, the townspeople are rioting due to unhappiness. What should we do?"

"Why?" Kuonji cut in.

"Sorry, what do you mean sir?"

"I asked, why are the people rioting?"

Goshima gulped nervously, "they're unhappy with the way you are ruling. They say that you're ruthless and the presence of the soldiers in the neighbouring towns are causing them to suffer. They say the army is taking a toll on their livelihoods."

"Me? I'm the cause?" Kuonji repeated.

"Yes sir."

Laughter erupted from Kuonji's stomach. He laughed and laughed, while ignoring Goshima's presence. Wiping away a tear that escaped his eye, Kuonji placed his feet on the ground and turned to look at his awkward Goshima.

His eyes narrowed dangerously, "why don't you tell them they are suffering because their princesses decided to run away from the palace. Why don't you tell them that they longer they take to turn over the princesses, the more they will suffer. Why don't… no…"

Kuonji stopped himself halfway, a plan formulating in his head.

"Sir…?" Goshima treaded lightly.

The ends of Kuonji's mouth tipped upwards. "If they want a livelihood, I will give them one. Capture those who are rioting, men, women or child. Kill all those who resist immediately."

"What are you going to do with those you've caught? The dungeons are unable to hold anymore prisoners." Goshima voiced his conern.

"I didn't say that we're going to keep them locked up. They're going to work. If they have the guts to complain while they're still being paid by the royal funds, they should have no right to complain when those funds are taken away. Set them to work in the mines. We will reap the benefits off them."

Goshima clicked his heels together in response. "Everyone Kuonji-sama?"

"Everyone, dear Goshima. Including the children."

Goshima bowed and exited the room. From a distance, Kuonji could hear Goshima shouting out commands to the soldier to capture those who are revolting. However, the statement which made the joy within him to erupt was as such.

"Kill all those who resist, including the women and children. Kuonji-sama says to tell them that they're precious princesses are to blame for their current state."

Mikan stopped in her tracks once she smelt the saltiness of the ocean.

"We're close." She mumbled to herself.

The sun was just beginning to rise as the group trudged on towards their new destination. They had reached the boarder of the forest late last night and the Terra bodyguards left them as Misaki had instructed. Not feeling tired, Ruka suggested that they pushed on till they were truly tired out. That being said, it seemed that fatigue would not claim them.

After obtaining their first stone, both Sumire and Mikan felt a surge in energy. They wanted to go on, they desired to reach their next destination as soon as possible. Even Natsume was surprised at the amount of energy within their petite frames. Agreeing to press on but at a slower pace to conserve energy, they were now in a clearing with large grass field.

"Let's stop for a break!" Ruka cheerfully requested as he placed his bag on the ground and took out some food. "Here, eat this." He handed everyone a thin slice of bread with a custard layer on top. Sumire, finally stopping in a long while, felt the blood rush to her feet. Throwing off her bag, she sat down on the small rock protruding from the ground and munched on her piece of bread.

Natsume took his slice and walked off to survey the area. He needed a break; he needed time away from the princesses. After Sumire had acquired the Terra stone and it attached to her sword, he saw more memories of his Shinigami past. He saw how Sakura was able to convince the Terra element into calming down and giving her his stone. He saw how she persisted despite being only ten years old.

Natsume witnessed the trial she had to go through much like Sumire had done and when she got the stone, he felt pride well up inside of him, even though he was not physically present. All in all, he was uncomfortable with the sudden rush of memories. It seemed as if he was losing a part of himself with more memories he was seeing. He tried brushing away the negative thoughts, but each time he tried to reason why he was here with the princesses, a small part of him became agitated.

His eyes glazed over as he slowly chewed his bread and looked off to the town which was dotted in the horizon. Wondering if such influx of memories would occur every time a stone was obtained, Natsume's hand unconsciously touched the beads within his headband.

"Natsume-san?" A soft voiced called out behind him, "are you having a headache?"

He turned around to see Mikan looking worriedly at him. Realising his hand was on his head, he brought it down and pulled the large slice of bread out of his mouth.

Mikan sat on the ground near Natsume and placed her back against a large boulder, not caring if she was bothering him or not.

"What is it?" Natsume chocked out after swallowing the mouthful of bread.

Mikan played with the hem of her long shirt. "How long more till we reach the harbour?"

"We should reach by nightfall today." Was she just making small talk?

"Hm…" Mikan paused, "is… is your wound all right? I apologise for agitating it yesterday."

Natsume finished the last bit of the custard bread and shook his head. "Forget about it. It's not something big."

A gentle breeze blew by and the sky was painted a bright orange. From where they were sitting, they could see the sun rising from behind the far harbour town.

"Pretty…" Mikan whispered.

In their hardship, it was difficult to appreciate such small gestures of beauty but yet, time seemed to stop while they looked at the sun rising. For that moment, it seemed that they were back to their carefree selves.

Natsume walked over to where Mikan was sitting and sat some distance away from her to appreciate the sunrise.

Clutching her knees, Mikan observed Natsume from the corner of her eyes. He seemed to have softened up a little since beginning their journey, but she was confused as to why he was so defensive about her seeing his memories. She shared the same sentiments of not wanting a stranger prodding around in your memories, which held your deepest darkest secret, but she would like him to understand that it was not her choice. Sometimes she felt that he was approachable, but more often than not, she felt him reverting back to his cold self.

"Why am I having these thoughts?" Mikan chided herself.

"I used to appreciate these sunrises." Natsume broke the silence.

She turned to look at him, but his gaze was fixed on the rising ball of fire.

"Why the past tense?" Mikan continued.

Natsume tensed up. "Why did she pick on my choice of words?"

"What memories do you have of sunrises Mikan-hime?"

Mikan thought hard. Her first sunrise was watched with her mother when she was very young. Trying to stay awake in order to catch the first rays of sun, she remembered her mother poking her cheeks, teasing her to go back to bed but she refused since it was one of the rare times she was allowed out of the palace at that age.

"My mother." Mikan began, "The first sunrise that I watched was with my mother."

"We're too different." The thought flashed in Natsume's mind. Anger began welling up within him again. He was upset that this princess had such good memories while his were plagued with misfortune. He was upset about the changes that had occurred in his life over such a small timespan.

"What about you?" She asked him.

"Do you actually know what goes on outside the palace?" Natsume changed the subject abruptly.

"Why the sudden change in topics?" Mikan furrowed her eyebrows while looking at him.

She treated his silence as a signal to answer the question. "I do. The people are suffering…"

"I mean when you were 11?"

Mikan thought back. When she was 11, she was kept within the palace. Despite her mother's passing when she was 4, her stepmother had given strict instructions to Misaki to prevent Mikan from leaving her chambers unless it was for meals, lessons or formal events. Sometimes she would sneak off through the secret passageways to the outer walls just to look at the city, but for some reason, she was always brought back before she could actually reach the last passageway which led to the palace walls.

"I doubt so. I was kept on a tight leash at that age."

"Figures." "Why am seething in anger? It's not her fault that incident happened."

Mikan was confused, she had no clue why Natsume was so angry, "I'm sorry did I say something wrong?"

"Do you know what went on inside the palace then?"

Thinking back, the only news she ever received was through word of mouth from Misaki, her maid. Other than that, she was kept oblivious of the palace events, until she decided to investigate by herself.

Mikan shook her head.

"I'm sorry." That was all Mikan could think of while continuing this conversation.

Natsume stood up and stared angrily at the crimson sky.

"Why are you apologising? Its already in the past. Apologising won't change anything. But just to let you know, if you knew what went on, you'd be able to stop Kuonji before he went on this crazy rampage."

"Wait!" Mikan stood up and ran after Natsume who was trudging through the long grass. "Why are you so angry?"

"Because while people were suffering, you were kept in a bubble, oblivious of the world outside that of the palace, outside that of your room." Natsume spat.

"I had no choice. My stepmother refused to let me venture my room. But that was till I was 11."

"Even so you're a princess! It's your duty to know what goes on outside. Because of your ignorance, many things have happened and now we're on this mission trying to repair the damage your actions have inflicted."

"Look here! Do you think I wanted to be confined to a room for 11 years?! Do you think I wanted to be sheltered? Why are we even arguing?" Mikan shouted.

"That's because I'm being pushed into a role which I didn't sign up for! You think I like trudging through the Nuru region? You think I enjoy being ridiculed by that crazy Terra element vessel which gladly proceeded to cut me up? Do you even think that I wanted be your shinigami?!"

Mikan remained silent.

"I thought so. So being forced into all of this beyond my will, I don't think a simple apology can cut it. While you chose to accept Kami's sword, I didn't choose to accept being the vessel of the shinigami. Fate just brought us together and dumped this whole responsibility on my shoulder."

"I'm sorry. I really am." Mikan looked at him tearfully. She hated how things were turning out. It wasn't as if she had a choice as well, but like Natsume said, she chose to draw out Kami's sword. She chose to accept her role despite not knowing the full story, and with that, she affected other people.

"Just stop apologising. It's not going to change anything." Natsume dug his heels into the ground and turned sharply.

"Why did you use to appreciate sunrises?" Mikan asked softly while grabbing on to his arm.

Natsume stared at the small pair of hands on his arm and laughed sceptically.

"You know hime, for a person who has seen my memories. I'm surprised why you couldn't join the dots."

"What do you…"

"After my entire family was slaughtered, the first thing I saw was the sun rising. Like the crimson sky, the ground was painted red with my family's blood and the blood of the perpetrators." Natsume tug his arm away roughly and left Mikan standing in the field.

He needed to get away from her. It confused him as to why he would tell her such a thing, maybe it was his way of getting revenge on dragging him into this mess. He didn't care if Mikan was hurt because right now, he was hurting much more on the inside.

Returning to pick up his bag, he found Ruka sitting on the ground and glaring at him.

"What?" Natsume snatched up his bag.

"You're doing that thing again."

"What thing? Where's the other princess, we're leaving."

Ruka used his scabbard to hit Natsume hard on the head.

"WHAT THE F-" Ruka hit him again.

Despite Ruka being one of his close friends, he could not accept being hit in the head. Grabbing the dagger which was tucked away in his boot, he brought it close to Ruka's throat but Ruka jumped back quickly.

"Stop doing that." Ruka calmly told him.

"Whatever I'm doing, is none of your concern. Stop hitting me with your damn scabbard or I will slice you even though you are my friend." Natsume's eyes flashed dangerously. "Tell me where the other princess is right now."

"She's with her sister. I, on the other hand, stayed back to deal with you. We heard your conversation and I think you're being a really prick right now."

"Why do you care?" Natsume's grip on the small dagger tightened.

"Stop it Natsume. You're just taking out your anger on everyone around you and its hurting people. Stop it and just tell someone. Stop bottling up your emotions."

"Shut up. You have no right to say that after you doubted me."

Ruka's heart skipped a beat. The guilt within him started bubbling up again.

"I'm sorry." Ruka said.

"HAHAHA! Too many people have been apologising for something that cannot be changed. Forget it Ruka, I've learnt the hard way not to trust anyone anymore."

Ruka ran forward with lightning speed and smacked Natsume on the head again.

"This isn't the time to be feeling guilty. He's just using that as an excuse to hurt everyone and you know that if he continues this way, they will fail in their mission." Ruka chided himself.

"Mikan's had her fair share of problems. You are adding yours onto her and it isn't fair." Ruka looked Natsume in the eyes.

"Fair? Who cares about fairness and how much problems does she have? It'll never surmount up to mine."

Ruka rushed forward again but missed this time.

"Ruka, I'm warning you. CUT. IT. OUT." Natsume clenched his teeth.

"Like you, she's lost people dear to her."

"What, her father?!"

"No you idiot!" Ruka ran forward and kneed Natsume in his gut, kicking away the dagger once Natsume was on the ground. He was gambling that Natsume might stab him in anger, but it was worth the risk.

Natsume saw Ruka running, but his instincts told him not to act on his anger. His hand froze in place, he could never follow up with his threat. In that instance, he felt the wind kicked out of him as Ruka kneed him. Clutching his stomach, he keeled over.

"Mikan lost her mother when she was young. Like you, she saw her mother die in front of her. She was assassinated. Like you, she saw the ground painted in her mother's blood. But you just had to be an immature brat and take out your anger on her."

"I… I didn't know."

"You don't know a lot of things Natsume. You didn't know that after you left, Luna treated Mikan, like she was some kind of disease, restricting her movement even further within the palace. It's not her fault that Mikan doesn't know anything beyond the palace walls at that age. Stop pushing your anger onto someone else. Stop blaming her for this turn of events. Just suck it up and be a man. What happened to the Natsume I knew who would take everything within his stride?"

"He disappeared once everyone turned his back on him." Natsume gritted while trying to stop the pain.

"Bullshit. You were alone when you tried out for the army and yet you were posted to one of the rarest positions in the army. What makes things any different now? I'm sorry for not believing you, but it doesn't give you a right to treat people the way you do. Grow up."

"Because you didn't believe me, I got expelled from the palace. I caused my unit to be eliminated. You had some responsibility in this at the end of the day Ruka, so save the lecture." Natsume grabbed a fistful of mud and attempted to stand up.

"I know, but I'm atoning for it now. Sorry." Ruka used the back of his hand and hit the back of Natsume's head, causing him to fall unconscious. "Just get some rest. The anger within you will drive you to your grave before you know it."

Mikan just stood there in the middle of the field and watched as Natsume returned to the group. Unknowingly, tears began streaming down her face. She could remember the memory of Natsume's family being murdered by the bandits, the feeling of the cold metal slicing through her body stuck with her for a long time. If she knew what happened afterwards, she would have never brought up the topic of sunrises. Then the memory of her seeing her mother's dead body in front of her 5-year-old self surfaced.

Thinking that she had successfully repressed that memory, Mikan broke down.

She crouched down and cried.

"Mikan-nee…" Sumire was suddenly beside her rubbing her back. "Shh… it's ok."

"Is it… really… my fault?" Mikan hiccupped while crying. "it's my fault isn't it? That… that okaa-san was killed…"

Sumire didn't know what to say. All she remembered from that incident was the palace going into chaos over the queen's death while she was confined to her room. She remembered her mother being happy for some reason during her usual night visits to her room.

"Could it have been my mother?"

"Shh… we don't know what happened. Come on, dry your tears. We have a mission to complete." Sumire tried persuading her elder sister.

"But… but Natsume… is angry… that he's being dragged… into this against… his will." Mikan managed to gasp out in between the violet hiccups.

"Ruka is dealing with that right now. Shh…" Sumire continued rubbing her sister's back while Mikan cried her heart out.

Mikan really did not want to move right now. The impact of the knowledge that she could have caused both her parents death crushed her.

After a while, Sumire realised her sister's sobbing decreasing and the next time she looked at Mikan, she realised that she was asleep. Using her long shirt, she wiped away the tears on Mikan's face.

"Is she asleep?" Ruka came up behind the duo.

Sumire nodded and allowed Ruka to carry Mikan back to their original point.

"Natsume?" Sumire asked.

"Out cold. You should get some sleep as well. I'll wake everyone up in 3 hours. Get some shut eye." Ruka suggested while placing Mikan under the shade of a lone tree.

"I'm good. You should be the one sleeping Ruka." Sumire urged while sitting at the tree trunk, clutching her wakizashi.

"We'll compromise. I'll be up in an hour's time. If there's anything, just wake me." Ruka instructed while lying down on the opposite side of the tree and closing his eyes.

Soon, the only sounds Sumire heard were the rustling of leaves and the soft breathing of her three companions.

Natsume opened his eyes and saw that he was in the white place again. Sitting up, he looked around but saw that he was alone in this vast emptiness.

Then a girl with a purple dress and silver hair stood before him.

"Who are you?"

"Kami's sword." Then the girl pointed into the distance and following her directions with his gaze, he saw Mikan curled into a ball crying.

The scenery changed to that of the palace grounds. He saw a very young Mikan kneeling in a pool of blood and beside her, was an older woman who looked very much like her.

"What is this?" Natsume asked the girl beside him.

"This is my mistress' memories."

"Why are you showing me this?" Natsume really did not want to be prodding inside her memories.

"Because she made a deal with me. She has no choice when seeing your memories, but because she has access to yours, she wants me to show you hers."

"Why does she have to do this?" Natsume didn't understand why the sword was doing this.

"Because to be able to wield me, she must have a strong bond with her shinigami."

"Why?"

The sword ignored him and the scene unfolded.

"Okaa-san…" the Mikan on the ground called out weakly.

"Mikan… my baby… are you all right?"

"SOMEONE HELP! SOMEONE! DOCTOR! NARUMI-SENSEI!"

"Shh… don't cry Mikan."

Mikan looked at her mother helplessly.

"Okaa-san…"

Her mother laughed.

"Why are you laughing?" Mikan scolded her mother with tears streaming down her face.

"Because your greedy mother ate your biscuits. I'm glad that it was me and not you." Her mother brought her hand up to wipe away the tears cascading down Mikan's face, leaving behind a bloodied trail.

"Stop it Okaa-san! I'm not happy at all! Why why why?!" Mikan cried out.

"QUICKLY GET NARUMI-SENSEI!" Someone outside the room shouted and frantic footsteps could be heard.

"Shh… baby, you still have a bright future ahead of you. Be a good girl and listen to your otou-san all right?"

"Why are you talking like that? Okaa-san…"

The older lady coughed out a mouthful of blood.

"You are destined… for something greater… don't give up… even though everything seems… to be against you. Promise me." The older lady wheezed.

"I promise."

"Good girl." The older lady let out a sigh. "I wish… I could see you… grow up. Say goodbye… to your father for me… won't you?"

"Tell him yourself!" Mikan cried.

"Silly girl… I'm nearing my end."

"Don't leave me! Don't leave me alone!"

"You're not alone. I've… I've made sure… of that…" The queen struggled to breathe as her lungs filled with blood.

"Okaa-san, please, please don't go!"

"I'll always… be beside… you… my beautiful… daughter."

"YUKA!" The king ran into the room and landed beside Mikan, grabbing on to his wife and shaking her. "Open your eyes Yuka! Don't you dare close them! I command you as your King!"

Yuka coughed out another mouthful of blood and chuckled. "Finally… giving a command… as king. You never fail… to make me… laugh…"

"Stop joking around! Just hang on! NARUMI!"

"Take care… of our… daughter… Be strong… anata…"

Smiling for the last time, she let out her last breath. Peacefully closing her eyes, Yuka drifted off to her eternal dreamland.

"Yuka! YUKA!" Izumi shook his wife and cried out.

"Okaa-san!"

Izumi rocked his body while clutching his dead wife. Placing her down after a while, he hugged his distraughted young daughter and cried along with her.

The blonde doctor arrived too late at the scene and felt irritated with himself. He gritted his teeth and surveyed the surroundings. Seeing the half-eaten biscuit on the ground, he picked one up from the plate and gave it a quick sniff. Then crushing it between his fingers, he saw a small white pill in the middle. Crushing a few more, he found the same white pill.

"Why are you so late?" Izumi glared at the doctor. "She's dead."

"Someone was preventing me from getting close to this room. It seemed that she was assassinated." Narumi reported.

"Okaa-san… said she ate… the cookies meant… for me…" Mikan sobbed.

Izumi looked down at his crying daughter and back at Narumi.

"I can vouch for that. The cookies have a poisonous pill embedded in them. Arsenic's my guess."

"Find everyone who has access to it!" Izumi shouted and his voice bounced off the walls.

Narumi shook his head. This assassin was smart. Arsenic was often used as rat poison, so anyone had access to it. Finding one culprit would be difficult. "It's not going to be of use. Anyone has access to this compound. Come on, let's get Mikan away from here."

"Okaa-san…" Mikan clung on to her mother's cold hand.

Izumi stood up and tried to pry Mikan away from his wife but she clung on harder.

"Misaki!" Izumi commanded and the maid entered the room. Her doppelgangers were able to get Mikan away from her mother and quickly clean up the scene with Narumi's instructions.

Carrying a screaming Mikan away, the scene dissolved away.

"She has the same wounds as you." Kami's sword spoke to Natsume.

Natsume couldn't believe that Mikan experienced an assassination attempt. He couldn't believe that the queen would take the fall for her daughter.

"I know… Ruka told me that." Natsume said.

"But you didn't understand the severity of it till you've seen it with your own eyes."

Natsume remained silent because he knew the girl spoke the truth.

"What memory are you letting her see?"

"The one you were trying to hide from her. The memory of your downfall- your dismissal from your unit."