Here's a gentle chapter before things go south. See, I take good care of your nerves ?In response so laxalin; Thanks, first, for your beautiful review. I am glad you share your thoughts and theories with me, I enjoy that peek into your side a lot ! As for this child… both my parents had really dark hair, like totally black. As a child, my hair was so blond it seemed white. Wild, right ? So, you'll not know before… quite some time :D
As for Elya's father, he was just an operative, but took his job for the empire at heart. Given he had not gone so far into his studies, he wanted Elya to do well and put a lot of pressure upon her. She ended up in the youth program at 15… and was spotted by Krennic when she was 23 (17 BBY). Why ? Because it's the year Galen fled Coruscant and hid in Lah'mu. See a pattern here ?
Unfortunately, we won't see Has Obitt.
Krennic was tense, and called me to his office more often. I struggled to reassure my former mentor that we were making progress in charge capacity. Nothing but the truth. I saw those meetings like a battle of wills, with each of us putting pawns on the board, and neither willing to relent. If Krennic was a skilled manipulator, I could now use Galen's insight and ideas to feed him what he wanted to hear. The director, cold blue eye twinkling, was satisfied that I held Dr Erso under my control.
Control was a word he relished in.
It couldn't have been further from the truth. Galen was my master in every way. He populated my thoughts at day, my dreams at night, my body in the evening and my hopes in the morning. Never had I surrendered so completely to another. And if my world now revolved around him, I wasn't about to complain because he brought colours into that new universe. Everything felt more intense, livelier, even the stupid weather of Eadu. We dreamt of colourful shores and white-capped mountains together. Of sunshine caressing our face.
So when Galen usually succumbed to slumber, I allowed my mind to wander. Would Jyn be here, and the little boy I had seen? Hopping around in green fields of an unknown planet? The image brought a smile to my lips, and I kissed Galen's temple before I ordered for the lamps to switch off. His warm body was so welcoming that I nestled for the night, lulled to sleep by the soft sound of his even breaths.
A sharp cry woke me brutally. I had no time to brace myself when the shoulder I was resting upon sent me flying. Dazed, heart beating a mile a minute, I struggled to understand what was happening. Were we under attack? The sound of laboured pants echoed in the room, and I ordered the lights on, ready for a fight. The bland lamps allowed me to sweep the small space of my quarters; nothing amiss, expect for the tall man tangled in the sheets, head resting in his hands.
"I'm sorry," he mumbled.
My heart was thundering, but I climbed back into bed.
"Nightmare?"
Galen nodded, eyes buried in his palms to conjure the image out of his head. It was weird, sometimes, to realise that this genius also experienced emotions like a human being. Slowly, I crawled by his back, and rested my head upon his shoulder, enclosing him in unassuming warmth. We remained thus until his breathing evened, and he shifted to face me, nearly naked. The sheet bundled around his legs and I kissed his cheek.
"I usually don't get them when you're here," Galen sighed, dragging me as he laid down.
"Do you have them often?"
He nodded thoughtfully. "They plague my nights, yes." As his strong arms pulled me against him, I realised he usually slept soundly in my quarters. His presence soothed me, but I had trouble considering the reverse might be true. Silence reigned for a moment, and I felt myself drift off when the rumble of his voice called me back to him. "I told you that I worked on Lokori during the war".
Lokori… Despite my knack for geography, I had no idea where this planet sat in our galaxy. Irrelevant, right now. I hummed, just to let Galen know I was listening. Somehow, it always amazed me to be the recipient of his past experiences.
"The separatists broke through the republic's forces. We fled the droid's army with other civilians. They caught up with us in between two buildings, and started shooting people. We were not fast enough so I turned around to protect them; it was the first time I saw death in the eyes… Lyra and Jyn were right behind me. I would have been the first to fall … then…"
I pushed my elbow to watch him, trying to relate. All those tales of war, those instabilities had not touched me much from my safe youth program; my home planet had not seen any fighting.
"What happened?", I whispered. Galen's gaze flickered to me, then returned to the ceiling. "The end of the clone wars. The droids deactivated all at once."
I had heard of it, of course. How two Jedi knights had eventually won the final battle against Count Dooku, and shut down the entire clone army. I had not realised that Galen had been in the thick of it. "Wow," I breathed. "That was … really, really close." "Yes."
And when nothing else was said, I returned to that special place in the crook of his arm. Here, nose tucked against his skin, I felt like I belonged … like I was a part of something bigger than my lonely self. His arms circled me, the grip tighter than usual; Galen was upset. It could be his dreams, or anything else that might have crossed his mind from that point of entry. It rushed too fast for anyone to follow, even me.
So I flicked the lights off with a yawn, and welcomed the darkness. Slowly, gently, I littered his chest with kisses until I felt his body relax. Then, I allowed blissful slumber to claim me once more.
Work, that day, felt more difficult. I guess I was just not ready to accept I would spend the night alone. I was worried now; did Galen sleep properly on his own? It was stupid, really. The man was more than forty years old. He was old enough to handle it. Yet, I wanted to be by his side, offer my support.
Except that I couldn't. But there was nothing to be done about it; Galen and I had decided to keep the frequency of our meetings even compared to the previous months. It was imperative that Krennic ignored my attachment to the scientist. He could not ever pinpoint the moment it changed between us. Playing pretend could only work well enough if we slept together thrice a week. Nothing more, nothing less. Our schedule kept switching; what a pair of spies we were!
My eyes always returned to Galen, a thousand times a day. To consider him like a lover, a partner rather than a mentor had turned my world upside down. And it felt surprisingly good!
I had to refrain from joining him in his office at every turn. Those cameras, watching us, grated on my nerves just as much as my colleagues. Sahali was even more insufferable than usual; he that suspected my position to be due to Krennic's attentions was now pissed I was sleeping with Dr Erso. All those looks, those egos and whisperings left me sour, and I wanted nothing more than to climb into bed beside my companion and blurt whatever ran in my mind.
No… if I was true to myself, all I wanted was to escape this freaking moon, and be done with the empire. Free to love Galen, far from the whispers, the cameras, the people watching us. I had never felt this constricted before; never longed for freedom. Poor little Elya, too naïve to realise I had willingly offered my wrists to be shackled by joining the youth program. Too stupid to understand when Krennic had himself place the collar around my neck. No… I had been so proud, at the time, to even consider I might have committed myself to prison.
But now I knew… I knew everything I was missing, knew why bandits roamed the universe without a home, and were happy with it.
Those thoughts plagued my days as I unraveled them, one by one, deeply embedded into my heart. Galen was in no way a good listener, his thoughts wandered too easily, too fast, too far to remain fixed on a subject. But he was there when it mattered, grounding me in reality as much as I did it for him. It was a strange relationship, like a set of stars shootings in the sky, only to be called back to the surface by the other.
Needless to say, that I had to kick myself to leave this evening, working on the inertial dampeners of the shaft that would act as the collimator. This was out of my field of competence, I had only a basic understanding of it and kept away. So, I tore myself from Galen's side with one last look and decided to join the pilots for a drinking night.
Finding Bodhi, boasting about his pilot skills and hair longer than ever called a smile to my lips. If I couldn't have that fantastic warm body around me, friends could certainly cheer me up. But the sad truth was that even those pilot were shackled by the empire. Did they dream of escaping ? I had no idea. So, pushing those depressing thoughts away, I smiled and downed my cup once more.
We drank, played dice, and I even indulged in a game of Dejarik before Bodhi nudged me on the arm.
"I've got your stuff, princess."
Meiloorun fruit from my home planet and coral; it was no wonder we got along so well. But while I usually took Bodhi back to my quarters for a little romp, I found myself slightly bereft. I couldn't possibly do that. Everything that happened on this base reached Krennic at some point and he would not accept me jeopardising my "love affair" for black-market products.
"I'll go and get my bag, stay put."
Dark eyebrows knitted at this change of our usual routine.
"What? Don't want me anymore? Found a better shag ?"
Even though I bit my tongue hard, I couldn't help but thinking about last night's round of lovemaking. Yes. A thousand times better, and it had nothing to do with Bodhi's performance. Intimacy with Galen just suffered no comparison. His bulk alone caused me to swoon … and his touch, his tenderness… We were, technically, very shy. I had not attempted with him half the things I had with casual lovers; we were discovering each other so slowly that the former me would have screamed in frustration.
So why did I love it so badly ? Why did this simple dance, laden with kisses, his skin sliding against mine, caused my brain to flatline and my nerves to wring ? Was it in the way he worshipped my body ? The way he held my hand when he plunged deep into me ? Was it the deep connection between us, mind-wise ? "Elya ?"
"Uh ?" Bodhi smirked. "You're blushing, so I'm guessing the answer is yes."
"Yeah. Dr Erso is … well, we are together." The pilot watched me, sceptical, detailing my face. "So the rumours are true…", he stated. It always amazed me how fast gossip ran; Bodhi had touched the ground less than a quarter day ago and he already knew I was sleeping with Galen. It was no wonder I received dirty looks here and there; they probably thought me a whore and seconded Sahali's poor opinion of me. For once, I couldn't bring myself to care.
"Good, you look happy." I blinked; I wasn't expecting it, but Bodhi's acceptance warmed my heart. So I grabbed his shoulder, and bent forward to keep our conversation private. "Don't say a word. The whole base knows, but I'm supposed to be in control, if you see what I mean."
His words were but a murmur. "The puppet master?" Shocked, I remained jawslacked for a second. How much did Bodhi know about Krennic ? Regarding the power he held over me ? Over us all, in this base supposedly under Grand Moff Tarkin's command ? More than I thought, apparently.
Speaking of which… A soldier was walking straight to me, his face serious. "Lieutenant, Director Krennic requests your presence in his office." I turned to the man, relieved to find that he wasn't dressed in the death trooper uniform reserved for my mentor's personal guards. I exchanged a wary look with Bodhi, and he shrugged.
"I'll see you around," I smiled. Bodhi's face changed to a forced cheer as he greeted me. "Yeah. Nice game." I nodded stiffly; he was protecting himself, hiding the fact that we knew each other more extensively. I gestured to the soldier and fell into step beside him, wondering why Orson called me at such an insane hour.
Shit! I need to stop calling him that. Director Krennic it is.
Galen was rubbing off on me.
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