Dark Side.
Chapter 15: Brave New World. Part II.
Cassandra finds herself once more in an empty classroom. This time accompanied by her friends and not a good-looking snack. This time hearing dreadful news and not about to have a strange private moment with Damon. She sits atop the blue low cabinet in Alaric's American History classroom once more, watches Stefan pace down the length of the blackboard and back again, barely straying from Elena's seated position on Alaric's desk.
Her mind is speeding; she feels strange, like she's underwater. This is the third time she's found herself in this position in the last month, and the similarities between these three instances mixed with shock have her reliving each moment until they're one and she doesn't really know where she is. She breathes in once, rubs at her lower forehead, willing the pressure there to go away.
"Explain." She requests, barely looking up.
"I already did." Damon replies in an instant, seemingly fed up.
"Then explain it again!"
In front of her, Elena flinches, her arms get tighter around her torso. Stefan's hand finds Elena's shoulder. Damon crosses his arms, throws a frown her way. Cassandra rubs her forehead again and waits. It's a few seconds before Damon answers. The carnival bleeds through the windows. What was half-fun earlier seems daunting now.
"I fed Caroline my blood and Katherine obviously killed her." Damon repeats. "A plus B equals..."
"Don't mock me, Damon." She warns.
"But why?" Elena's tone is pleading.
"Because Katherine is a manipulative, nasty, little slut." Damon smirks with a shrug.
Cassandra watches the interaction silently, eyes jumping from human to vampire and again. Katherine is manipulative, but Cassandra knows every step she takes is carefully thought out. The memory of this morning—Cassandra dragging a teaspoon into Katherine's knuckles—flashes before the redhead's eyes. Did Cassandra tell Katherine that Caroline was okay? Is this how the brunette chose to retaliate? No, the timing doesn't fit.
"And she said, 'game on'? I mean, what does that even mean?" Stefan asks. Voice calm, but underneath there's an icy sheet of disconcertion.
"It means she's playing dirty." Damon scoffs. "She wants us to know."
"But why Caroline?" Elena nearly exclaims, gesturing around with a hand like the answer is going to fall out of the sky.
Damon shrugs an 'I don't know,' at the same time Cassandra runs her hands down her hair until they reach her clammy neck, mentally prepares for judgement, and says:
"She's my friend."
The overall reaction is exactly what she expected. Elena's outstretched hand falls down until her arm is hanging, held up only by her elbow resting on her crossed arm. Stefan and Damon share a long look before turning to her. Damon's face is a stoic mask. Stefan's, however, has all the judgement this universe knows. Oh, Atlas, she morosely thinks, is this what it felt like?
"Katherine and I… are not in the best of places right now." She explains. "Caroline is my friend."
She doesn't explain how that means the blonde is perfect vengeance material. They already know it.
"You told Katherine Damon gave Caroline blood?" Elena asks, astonished.
"No! Judas, no!" Cassandra exclaims, horrified. She would never give Katherine such obviously important information. The others are not convinced. "I didn't. I have no idea how she found out." She swallows.
Her throat feels like sandpaper. Because while knowing neither Stefan nor Damon are about to be held in the backburner for a sacrifice that might or might not (God or any other deity willing) take place sometime in the near future is an absolute relief, she never wanted sweet, slightly obnoxious Caroline to become a casualty of Katherine's selfishness.
Silence falls over the classroom once more. Everything around them flashes red and yellow and purple in a 1-2-3 rhythm, but the music and overall chatter from outside seems to stop, like things outside these four walls has come to understand that what happens here should not be interrupted by anything, not even by outside life.
"Caroline must be completely out of her mind, she doesn't even know what's happening to her." Stefan comments.
"Oh, I think she does." Damon pipes in, faux-cheerful. "All of my compulsion from the past started wearing off the minute she was in transition."
Oh, well, that's not that bad then.
"We have to find her." Stefan sends his brother a small nod.
It is obvious, to Cassandra at the least, that this conversation is meant to be between the two of them, no one else. Sure, Elena might voice her opinion, Cassandra might want to help, but Stefan has just decided that he and Damon are the ones with the final say. This discourse is to be resolved between them. She hates him for it.
"Yep," Damon nods, careless. "And kill her."
"You're not gonna kill Caroline!" Elena gasps.
Cassandra hums, wholeheartedly agreeing with her.
Damon rolls his eyes with his whole body. He moves until he's standing in front of Elena, arms uncrossed but slightly at the ready. Like he's going to fight Elena's protests physically.
"She knows who we are." He reminds Elena, and inadvertently everyone else. His voice suggests he's talking to a five-year-old. "She's officially a liability, and we've got to get rid of her."
Stefan jumps into action. He walks until he's right in his brother's face, menacing and warning wrapped up all in one. Damon is unaffected. He simply turns to face his little brother, eyebrow raised, challenging. Cassandra wonders if they're ever anything but that: challenging and demanding. Everything but warm or accepting.
"Damon, absolutely not." Stefan's words are perfectly enunciated. An outstretched arm marks how important it is that the eldest Salvatore get this.
"Need I remind you of a tragic little story of a girl named Vicki Donovan?" Damon asks rhetorically.
She doesn't know a lot about Vicki Donovan. She isn't sure how she turned. All Cassandra was told from Stefan is that Vicki's alcoholism and drug addictions made her a problematic vampire, to put it mildly. Newbie attacked Elena and Jeremy, got herself staked. But Caroline doesn't have vices, she's too much of a perfectionist for that. Cass is sure that with a little patience, some cohesive coercion maybe, Caroline will be just fine.
"Caroline, of all people, will not make it as a vampire. Her mother is a vampire hunter." Damon continues.
He speaks like a preacher would, all booming volume and powering energy. Something hangs in the air, like a dangling sword forged in truths. Elena's breathing is shaken. Stefan has grown quiet, defeated. Damon makes a good point. But Cassandra has an even more excellent counterpoint, because hers comes with indissoluble evidence.
"So was my family." She confesses, feeling her chest constrict at the strange occurrence that is her past in her tongue. The words taste rusty. Damon tenses and turns to her with a confused frown well in place. Elena is the epitome of curiosity, leaning forward, waiting for more. She gives them nothing else but this: "If I survived, so will Caroline. You will not kill her."
She will not mention the fact that, technically speaking, she never returned home after she turned. She will not speak of her father's letter, of the binding contract she signed that stated she would keep her life so long as she did not attempt to lay claim of that which was rightfully hers. So long as she did not try to return to the coven. So long as the Lady Cassandra Maudeleyn Genevieve Woodhouse of Surrey was legally dead and buried. She inwardly flinches. She hasn't heard that name in so long…
That doesn't matter, Cassandra reminds herself. Caroline Forbes is her friend. Caroline Forbes deserves more than she herself got from her monster-hunting family. Damon doesn't understand. Why should he, really? His father was the instigator of the anti-vampire movement in Mystic Falls. He knows what this town is capable of against that which they fear. He will leave no room for error. No room for exposal.
"No?" Damon mocks, face hard as stone. "Your silence is deafening, Stefan." He glances at Stefan, keeps his body angled towards hers. It's irritating. The brothers are once more invalidating her opinion. "Wait, wasn't there a school carnival the night you staked Vicki? Speaking of a town where history repeats itself."
His tone is as mocking as ever. He even lifts one finger up in the air, moves it left-and-right-left-and-right, almost like he's admonishing. No one speaks. Cassandra silently begins to plot. His demise. Caroline's survival. She's no entirely sure which one yet. Maybe both.
"You know I'm right." Damon insists.
Elena lets out a defeated sigh that sounds like a plea. She looks at Stefan, her knight in shining armor, begs for him to understand. Cassandra knows Elena thinks this is their fault. If they hadn't intervened, Caroline would have probably pulled through on her own. Either way, their blonde friend is dead. Except now, she's undead forever. The worst possible outcome in Elena's book.
"We're not gonna kill her." Stefan announces after silent minutes of nothing but him observing Elena.
He sends his brother one final warning look before walking away, taking Elena's hand as he goes, ensuring she follows. Cassandra jumps from her spot on the low cabinet. She'll find Caroline before the blonde does something she regrets. Worn off compulsion or not, she's still a newborn. She won't fully understand the concept of Compel-Feed-Release until at least a month or two. Just as she's about to pass him, Damon sidesteps in front of her.
"Move or I'll move you." She looks up at him.
"She's putting us all in danger," Damon says.
The hostility from before is gone. He's polite, eyes silently asking for her to understand. She does. Taking care of a new vampire when Katherine is roaming about and werewolves have returned to Mystic Falls—stupid Mason made homecoming a loud spectacle—is not the easiest task. Caroline has potential, though. She could be a double agent.
"You're outnumbered." Cassandra reminds him just as politely. "Please, behave."
The request annoys him. His eyes narrow slightly, but he moves to the side, hands up in mock-surrender, and leaves enough room for her to walk away without brushing past him. Cass is certain of one thing, Damon is most definitely not going to behave.
She didn't find Caroline before Damon. The carnival was messy and surprisingly large in size. There were so many different scents it was hard to find Caroline's, so many noises it was hard to focus on her voice. She had nothing of Caroline to perform a locator spell with. The only way she'd really get a sense of where the blonde might be was if she separated herself from the saturated carnival. Standing on the library's roof, located on the other side of the parking lot, separated from the school itself, she sat on the edge of the building and concentrated all her energy on one thing: something out of place.
By the time she caught the rusty smell of blood, she feared it'd be too late. It was faint, which meant she was far away from it. And, if she could smell it from so far away, then it was in large amounts. Which meant Caroline had claimed her first victim. She followed it as fast as she could, adamant in keeping Caroline alive, and ended up here: the service entrance to the school.
The service back entrance is an alleyway of sorts, right behind the cafeteria. To one side rest the recycling bins and food waste containers. To the other, a wide asphalt driveway allows trucks and other delivery vehicles to easily come in and out. Cassandra avoids this area as much as possible—it smells; that weird combination of fresh produce with old cardboard, humidity plus the stale smell of trash that never really goes away makes her stomach churn—but she knows some students, the ones that don't belong to the druggies but don't fit in with anyone else, frequent it enough that they've made it their own. There's a few artistic graffities on the brick walls.
Stefan, Elena, and Damon are already there when she arrives on the scene. She's not sure of what happened, but considering Caroline is distraught and Damon has a stake in one hand, she doesn't have trouble guessing. Her blood burns with rage. Really? How fucking hard can it be, following one simple request? Don't kill Caroline. She didn't ask him for world peace! She simply asked him not to kill her friend.
Stalking forward, Cassandra shoulders past Damon, briefly nodding at Stefan, and doesn't stop until she's right next to a helpless Elena, who is trying to approach a crying Caroline but to no avail.
"She thinks I'm Katherine." Elena worries.
Cassandra looks at Caroline, really looks for the first time. Her blonde hair is a mess, frizzy, unkept. Fresh blood coats her lips and chin, some of it spreads on her nose. Her make up slides down her cheeks, showing perfect tear tracks. She's shaking all over, rubbing at her blood-stained hands. Cassandra's heart breaks at the sight of Caroline Queen Bee, Miss Mystic Falls Forbes unravelling like this.
"Care?" she asks, carefully taking a step forward.
"Cass?" Caroline blinks. A fresh batch of tears begins to pour out of her eyes. When the blonde takes a final shuddering step forward and throws her arms around Cassandra, the redhead allows it without protest. "Why is this happening to me?"
"Oh, Care, I am so sorry."
Caroline starts sobbing harder. Cassandra strokes her back, once, twice, until it sounds like Caroline might be breathing a little better. She looks up at a nearby empathizing Stefan. They need to get this under control before people start to notice, before Caroline freaks out more, or Damon decides he doesn't want to wait any longer.
"Let's go inside." Stefan suggests.
He coaxes Caroline off Cass, takes one of her arms as Cassandra takes the other. The three of them start to walk towards the nearest door; Elena trails behind.
"She'll die; it's only a matter of time." Damon calls out to them.
"But not tonight, it won't be tonight." Stefan's tone is final.
"Oh, yeah, it is." Damon mutters after a split second.
She feels it more than hears it. A certain edge to his voice, the way it weights with certainty. But there's something more, a drop of regret, like he saw the perfect pros-and-cons list and the odds simply weren't in favor of Caroline surviving. It doesn't matter what makes her realize it, what matters is she hears his words and immediately knows he's gone rogue. Son of a bitch.
She moves at the last possible second, because if Damon sees her move, he'll change trajectory and then it would all have been for nothing. She waits until she senses he's close enough to burrow the stake through Caroline's back. Elena's gasp is another indication that, yes, it's now or never. Within the blink of an eye, Cassandra turns in her step. Her right hand presses against his chest, not allowing Damon to walk any further. Her left hand gets a hold of Damon's raised arm, applying enough pressure that he has no option but to let go of the stake.
The wooden weapon clatters to the ground. The world grows silent. Both vampires regard each other silently. Damon may be fire, but Cassandra's dynamite. And she's about to go off.
"I told you," she says. Her voice doesn't raise; it's as leveled as ever. Her eyes are blazing, her blood boils. She's calm ire personified. "You're outnumbered. Back off."
Later she regrets it, because she doesn't want him to fear her, but, damn, it seems Damon only ever answers to hostility. His eyes shift, but otherwise that's the only indication that he's affected.
"Sure." He smirks sarcastically.
Her eyes narrow unconsciously. So much insolence about him. Caroline reaches for her, fingers tugging at her wrist. Cassandra follows them, knowing that if she looks at him too long she'll do something she'll regret, like slap him over the head for being such an ass.
They're about to enter the school when no other than Bonnie appears, no doubt attracted by all the shouting. The young witch takes the scene before her quietly, but by now Cassandra knows it won't take Bonnie long to join the dots.
"Caroline?" Bonnie calls.
The girl in question flinches and turns at the sudden calling. The motion leaves Caroline's blood-covered face in plain sight. Bonnie inhales sharply; her eyes widen.
"No, you can't be." Bonnie shakes her head.
"Bonnie?" Caroline asks, uncertain.
But Bonnie is busy with something else. She's looking away from them; her face is disfigured by horror. Cassandra follows the witch's eyeline, confused as to what's so scary over there, and only then realizes there's a body. A fresh body that's very dead. She can't see the young man's face, but can tell he was a man, muscular, tall if she goes by the length of his legs. The front of his grey Henley shirt is soaked in still-wet blood. It's enough confirmation for Bonnie. Not only is her childhood best friend a vampire, she's a murderer too.
"Elena, have you got this?" Cass asks the only brunette she trusts.
"Yeah, go." Elena swallows.
She seems confident enough. And by that Cassandra means not so shaken that she'll faint. Quietly, she and Stefan motion a still lost Caroline forward, not wanting her to realize she made Bonnie's Vermin List.
"Bonnie?" Caroline repeats. All Bonnie does is stumble out of their way, as fast and as far away as she can. "Bonnie?"
"It's okay, Caroline." Cassandra shushes her. "Let's just get you cleaned up, okay?"
"Okay." Caroline agrees, voice wavering. "Okay."
She and Stefan lead Caroline past the cafeteria and to the closest restroom. It's a tiny thing by the kitchen, a staff restroom, with the bare necessities. One toilet, one dull-colored sink that might have been white once, a smudged mirror. Nothing else. Nothing more. By the time they push Caroline inside, she's fully sobbing again. Cassandra locks the door as Stefan turns the faucet open, wetting paper towels. Grabbing the hair elastic from her wrist, Cassandra goes about tying Caroline's hair back in a messy bun. Stefan dabs at Caroline's face with the wet paper towel. They're a well-oiled machine, except Caroline is two breaths away from becoming Girl, Interrupted.
"Bonnie hates me! She hates me!" Caroline wheezes.
The sobs catch in her throat until they turn to weak moans.
"No, no." Cassandra denies, voice a little harsher than she intended. It's okay, though, because Caroline blinks blearily at her. It's the most focused she's been tonight. "Bonnie may be a fopdoodle but she doesn't hate you."
Caroline blinks at her again, this time for a whole other reason. Cassandra winces, trying to come up with a reasonable explanation as to why she just used an insult that's at least four centuries old. It's just she's so angry, she can't remember the modern-day equivalent. At the end it doesn't matter. Caroline becomes enraptured by another trail of thought.
"And Matt!" she cries, rubbing furiously at her hands. "Oh, God! I'm a murderer. I'm a monster."
"Look at me, your emotions are heightened right now. It's part of the transformation." Stefan takes control. He's sure, authoritative, and Caroline can't help but pay attention. "It's completely normal. I promise you. Okay?"
The blonde nods, mute. Her face begins to change, eyes go red, fangs lengthen, veins become more prominent. All normal. In all her years Cassandra hasn't met a single newborn vampire that's been able to control the urge to reveal their true face. It can be unsettling, and she silently prepares for Caroline to notice it. Unfortunately, Caroline doesn't just feel it happening, she sees it in the mirror. Her breathing quickens, she winces and dabs at her gums with her fingertips.
"Why does this keeping happening to my face?" she cries.
"Caroline, stop." Cassandra grabs the blonde's shoulders. "Look, look, look!" she allows her face to change too, before turning to Stefan, who followed her lead without having to be prompted. Caroline watches, takes it in. "This isn't a bad thing." She stresses the words she wishes she could have told Stefan. "Remember what Stefan said? Every emotion is going to be heighten. You need to control them before they control you." Caroline sniffs, but otherwise seems to still be listening. A record by the evening's standards. "Copy my breathing. In… out…"
Caroline takes a big breath in, only letting it out once Cassandra has done the same. They do it for a minute, until eventually Caroline is calmed enough that her face doesn't change on its own. Cassandra stops. Caroline keeps going. Stefan shifts behind the blonde, itching to help, but everyone's coping mechanisms are different. They can guide her, but Caroline needs to figure this one out on her own. Cassandra shakes her head at him slightly. After a moment or two, Caroline takes a sharper breath in, wipes her tears away. When she looks at Cassandra, Caroline seems more her own.
"Good job." Cass smiles. "Now you know how to keep emotions at bay. At least until you get used to everything being amped up."
"What about the—the—um, blood?" Caroline asks, timid, but still her usual extroverted self that the question is directed at anyone.
Stefan opens his mouth, ready to deliver a sermon that would make any priest proud, Cassandra is sure. But Caroline has suffered enough. There's no need for Stefan to announce today that blood will be her eternal downfall. Especially when it doesn't have to be.
"How about we take one thing at a time, huh?" Cassandra asks rhetorically before Stefan can get a word out. "Tonight, it's just about accepting and getting cleaned up. We'll talk about bloodlust tomorrow."
"And her options." Stefan adds, sending Cassandra a pointed look.
"Yes, Stefan, options." Cassandra purses her lips.
He's not going to make her feel bad about the life she leads right now. For non-rippers, it is perfectly acceptable to live off a human blood diet. It's healthier. Caroline could thrive off blood bags.
"I killed someone." Caroline mutters quietly.
Stefan and Cassandra share a look, this time filled with empathy, not the brief apathy they felt for one another and their ethical differences moments earlier.
"Never forget that helplessness, that regret." Cassandra takes Caroline's hand. The tone of her voice is strong enough that the blonde can't help but look up at her. "So, next time, no matter how good the blood tastes, you never take a human life again."
"You tell yourself you're strong enough, that you'll get yourself through it." Stefan adds. "And then you do it. Because you can."
"Okay. Okay." Caroline whispers, going back to deep controlled breaths.
She turns the faucet on herself, grabs some soap from the dispenser to the right, and furiously rubs at her hands. The water turns dark red, pink, clear. None of them speak through it. They simply watch as Caroline washes her sins away.
After, they agree Caroline is in no state to be near her very human mom. Her very human mom that also happens to be a vampire hunter. Cassandra helps her still shaken friend into the copilot seat of her car, trusting Caroline to close the door behind her, and turns to a solemn Stefan. When they make eye-contact, he sends her a small close-lipped smile.
"I know animal blood is not the only option." Stefan comments, voice too quiet for Caroline's baby ears to catch up fully. "But, considering her personality…"
"I know." Cassandra nods. "All I'm saying is… don't be opposed to her changing her mind about it. She's a natural control freak, Stefan. Who knows? Maybe that'll transfer to bloodlust."
"Yeah, maybe." Stefan acquiesces. He's not entirely convinced, though. He clears his throat, kicks the ground slightly. When he looks back up, the smile he wears is a bit wider. "Fopdoodle?"
"I forgot the modern-day equivalent." She admits, biting back a laugh.
"Dumbass." Stefan provides.
She wonders how he knows an insult that's much older than he is, but ignores it, chalking it up to him being an avid reader. Also, he just gave her an answer that was going to keep her up all night.
"Dumbass!" She exclaims, laughing. "Thank you. Dumbass… hmh, doesn't have the same ring to it, does it?"
Stefan laughs. A brief laugh that ends with a nod. A brief controlled laugh that ends abruptly, like he's not allowed to have fun. The world is raining down on them, after all. She doesn't say anything, quietly accepts it. Because a short laugh is better than no laugh at all. She giggles one last time and silence falls around them.
The dying carnival is a distant dream. Hauntingly beautiful. Damningly unreachable.
UPDATED: 16/01/2020