Next Chapter. This one's going to be much shorter than my normal ones, coming up about to about nearly 6k words (not counting the authors notes and hypothetical segment at the end). This is more of an experiment: The tone and characters of the story will massively shift in this chapter depending on your choices so please read the authors notes at the end.
Louise woke up with a start, glancing around the room frantically. When had she...she didn't remember falling asleep...and this wasn't her room, "...Hello?" She called out warily. What was...alright, she had to get her bearings. She sat up on the bed and pressed her hands against her face. She had a raging headache and the rumbling of her stomach wasn't doing her any favors.
How much time had passed? Blearily looking through the open window she found the twin moons hanging above the sky. When they'd managed to make their way back to the house it was only afternoon...had her Void magic cost her so much? She supposed it made sense; her willpower had been on a steady decline for the entire trip. Even without her larger spells she hadn't been getting proper rest and meals and attempting to incite the Familiar's Bond still drained her.
Right, time to retrace her steps. Julio and her had stumbled into a fight and...no, that wasn't exactly right - It was partly deliberate on her part. For the first time in weeks her bond had properly activated, however briefly, and she ran towards the closest approximate. Looking back on it, it was an extremely foolish thing to do. The Bond allowed an approximate location but little else; for all she knew it led to a pitfall or some other hazard.
The rest of the fight had been a blur. Golems...Demons of some kind under the control of some hooded woman. She remembered the spell, the constructs falling as the magic left...and so did three others. She bit her lower lip; Julio and Raziel(?) had suffered under the effects of the spell, but the alternative was far worse. She...She could only hope there was nothing permanently damaged. The last time she'd used that spell around her close friend he...well, it wasn't a pleasant memory.
And then...
Her breath was caught in her throat. The...The Elf! She stood up shakily and nearly stumbled; her legs felt like jelly, "There was an Elf...a demon-" Her mouth snapped shut at a sudden recollection of memories. No, wait...Agnes had told her about her. A Half-Elf, and a friendly one at that. Well...she supposed it made some amount of sense - If the young woman was only half a demon then her human half might have shone through. It was a stretch, but given that she was still alive and had all her limbs intact she could make the assumption that she had been telling the truth.
...Besides, considering her former Familiar was an Undead and her two older sisters were Vampires. At this point it wouldn't have surprised her if there were one or two good apples on the demonically evil tree.
After the fight Agnes had dragged her to the house and told her to stay put. She flitted in and out of consciousness, her mind trying to stay awake even as her body begged for sleep. She distinctly remembered a few children coming into the living room and poking her, so that at least helped keep her awake.
Agnes coming back with a passed out Julio definitely shocked her awake, and if not that then the sight of that Elf trying to stop her friend and that woman from arguing certainly did. It was hard to make out the contents of their dispute - She made out 'princess' daughter' and 'keep away from her' along with various other less-than-polite comments. Raziel(?) was far quieter, though the glare he gave the masked woman was chilling.
She'd passed out not long after that. She tried to stand up, she remembered that at least, but she couldn't get out a single word before she found herself falling on the floor. Raziel(?) had rushed to catch her and...and then she was here.
"Where am I?" She looked around the room. She could only assume that it was a house that belonged to that half-Elf. Her eyes caught sight of her wand lying on a small table and she sighed in relief; at least her wand was close by. Pressing the thin foci closer to herself, she briefly considered putting her cloak and shoes on again before deciding against it; despite Albion's chilly temperatures she felt distinctly warm.
The scarf stayed with her, though. It still had flecks of blood but she wasn't willing to part with it.
She opened the door slowly, looking at both ends of the hallway before reluctantly leaving the confines of the small bedroom. There was nobody here. It felt odd being alone again; she'd gotten used to waking up with Raziel at her side and even during her period of healing and travel Julio was always close by. Being alone in an unknown half-Elf's house certainly wasn't her idea of a good time.
Thankfully she didn't remain alone for long. When she'd arrived at the living room Raziel(?) was there, head pressed against a window with his back to her and paying her no mind. She looked him up and down - He looked...different- No, to be frank he looked completely unrecognizable. She couldn't see his face, but she had the distinct feeling that even if she did it wouldn't help her in any way.
She stood there awkwardly, debating on whether to call out to him. She was pretty sure it was him - The runes on his hand and the way he talked to her were unmistakable - but there was still a sliver of doubt. In hindsight his altered appearance shouldn't have been too much of a surprise; he'd made it clear time and again that his outer skin was nothing more than a mask. Masks could be replaced, after all.
Taking a deep breath, she called out to him, "Hey, Raziel..."
His reaction was calmer than she had expected. He turned around to look at her, his expression briefly pained before his lips quirked to form a minuscule smile, "Louise...I did not think you would be awake yet..."
"Yeah, well...I guess you're not the only one full of surprises."
The conversion died, both of them standing in awkward silence in the cold room. Louise looked down at her feet and shifted. This...wasn't what she had in mind when she imagined them finally reuniting with one another. Granted she had no idea what she truly could expect given their month-long separation but it she certainly thought there would be far more conversation rather than awkward looks!
Taking another breath, she looked up once more; he was looking away from her, his expression becoming torn once more. He had something in his mind, that much was clear, but what it was she had no idea.
"...Something on your mind?" She shook her head. There was nothing to be awkward about; he looked different, yes, but it was the Raziel she still knew and...loved. They'd affirmed their feelings for one another in the chapel so there was no point to hesitation now.
"...It is nothing, just..." He closed his eyes and sighed, "...I thought that things finally made sense when I found out my identity...and yet the string continues to tie itself into more convoluted knots."
"Um...what?"
"...Perhaps we should sit down first." He gestured to the couch.
They sat at the end of the couch, putting as much distance between them as possible (granted that wasn't much). Louise gave him a sideways glance - She knew she shouldn't have expected anything but she hoped that at least a part of him would be still be familiar to her...no pun intended. Right now it was as if she was looking at a stranger...and right now she couldn't even be sure if he was still-
"Are you still a guy?"
She blinked. Who said that? Looking around the room it became painfully clear that they were still alone. That meant...
Looking back, she winced at the blank stare Raziel was giving her. He looked as neutral as always, but there was a definite edge to his look. She sat up and tried to think of something else to break the tension before she heard it.
Laughter. From him. Eyes widening she watched disbelievingly as he looked to the side, one hand covering his mouth to try and muffle his soft laughter. She'd heard him laugh before, but usually it was flat and sarcastic. This...wasn't normal.
His laughter eventually faded, though his smile remained, "...One month of separation and that is the first thing you say?" His voice was nearly unrecognizable as well. now that she took note of it. Much softer, almost calming in a way, "To answer your question, yes, I am still male. Derflinger made sure that I...checked not long after getting my full bearings." He grimaced slightly, "I...will make sure to ask Derflinger when he regains consciousness if he can 'fix' this. With my memories back it should prove simple."
"Oh...good."
End conversation. Another uncomfortable silence settled into the room. Louise let out a soft, annoyed breath; why in the hel was this so hard? She'd been clamoring to see her friend for weeks now and now that he was there (more or less a few inches shorter) she couldn't think of anything to say- wait, what did he say?
"...Hold on, what do you mean 'get your memories back'?"
"Ah...yes," He coughed, "Due to dying in that battle, I lost my memories-"
"Again?"
"It only happened once." He finished, giving her a half-hearted glare at the interruption, "I regained my memories only shortly before you arrived because she..."
"...You're talking about that woman?" She queried. The reason for their fighting was unclear to her, but it was clear he and Agnes had been fighting against the woman and the wolf she had with her.
"Ciaran. An...old friend." Fingers traced against his chest lightly. Was he injured there? She couldn't see any wounds on him, "She...thought I was Manus." His lips pressed into a thin line, "If not with his memories then an unwilling host. Either way it meant she had to kill me..." He could see her logic. His memories of Saxe-Gotha were fractured, but...the few fragments he could recall were nightmarish.
"Ciaran? You mentioned her before..." She tapped her chin, "Um...you said that she was a knight in that Oolacile place, right? One of the people sent there along with that dark knight Artorias?"
"The same one," He replied, "I...did not expect here to be here...but perhaps I should not have been surprised." He leaned forward and pressed his hands together, elbows digging into his knees, "There is...something wrong with this world, Louise. More than even the depravities we've borne witness to..." He stared at the runic letters lining his skin. He never questioned their meaning but now...
"Is something wrong?" Hesitantly she scooted closer to him.
"Tiffania, she is..." He bit his bottom lip, "I told you about Dusk, yes? The princess of Oolacille that I saved from Manus...or perhaps more accurately the one I saved from my Progenitor."
"I have read the book before." She reminded him, "And you're not Manus or whatever he is. I doubt killing yourself in such a roundabout manner is really possible."
"Time in Lordran is convoluted. Anything could happen." He muttered, though he appreciated her attempt at comfort regardless, "You have met Tiffania, yes? The...'half-Elf'?" She nodded. It wasn't a proper meeting all things considered, but she considered her continued health a good enough sign, "She...Ciaran tells me that she is Dusk's daughter. That Dusk had been trapped here just as she had been."
"So...her mother's from your world?" A nod, but nothing else, "I...I don't know what to say, I'm sorry. The last person we met that was also from your home was that masked man and...you didn't part on the best of terms." He gave her a wry smile. She always had a way of making everything sound far more polite than it was, "...How well did you know this 'Dusk'? Besides rescuing her, I mean."
"Not well. I saved her from the Golem in the Darkroot basin, but...I do not know anymore. The flow of time in that damned place is so chaotic that night and day existed in tandem with no break. Figures from the past and the long distant future mingled with one another, unaware of the discrepancies. She could have been trapped in that Golem for years or even a few minutes. Now I come to find out that she is dead and her daughter...perhaps it would have been more merciful to leave her in the crystal. At least she would still be alive."
"Raziel..."
"I carried her on my back away from the abyss." His fists clenched tightly, "I died from my wounds along the way and returned to the bonfire, but when I had gone back for her she was gone. Elizabeth assured me that she was safe...I guess even that old mushroom could be wrong."
"Sorry..."
"There is nothing to apologize for." He sighed, "What is past is past; there is nothing more I can do about it now." He turned to look at her, gray eyes meeting her gaze, "I...am gland you are alive, for what it is worth. I knew Julio had rescued you, but...I admit that a part of me was angered. We had vowed to stay on that field together, and yet I was left behind-"
"I tried to tell Julio to come back for you," She interrupted quickly, "He told me later that he couldn't save you but-"
"Calm yourself. I understand." His voice dipped lower, "I know you well enough that you would not have chosen to leave me behind if you had any choice. Regardless...meeting Tiffania has more than made up for it."
"You mean the half-Elf?" She didn't miss the way his eye twitched at the designation, "Uh...right. Actually, what you mean by that?"
"We...entered into a relationship." She blinked. Okay, that wasn't what she was expecting, "Without my memories and my newfound naivete...it seemed a good idea at the time." He leaned back and crossed his right leg over his left, "Knowing that she is Dusk's daughter...perhaps he could influence me even with his very essence sealed. Manus was obsessed with her, she was his one source of comfort in-between his tortures, and he grew obsessed with her. He must have known who she was even vaguely."
And just like that they slipped into mindless conversation. She'd asked him about the time he spent with the hal- Tiffania, and he asked her how she'd survived and dealt with the month they spent away from one another. It was nice...almost as if she had gone back to a time where they didn't have to constantly fear for their lives or eventual deaths. She wanted this moment to last longer.
But in the end she knew it would pass and he would leave. He didn't have to say anything; the way he talked about the girl and the children...it was hard to see but there was a definite attachment there. ...Bigger than his attachment to her, a traitorous voice at the back of her mind hissed. It wasn't fair; they'd been together far longer and now a month of simple living had turned him away from her.
No, that wasn't right. It was his choice whether he would go back with her or stay in this patch of forest.
"...I see you still kept the scarf." He eyed the frayed cloth haphazardly wrapped around her neck. The tinges of red that lined the accessory made it clear that it hadn't been properly cared for since their separation a month prior, "I thought you would have replaced it by now..."
"It was the only thing I had left of you..." She admitted uneasily. She knew it was a present from the maid to him, a parting gift before he went to war, but she had grown attached to it, "Besides, you kept something as well." It was hard to see through the darkness, but she could still make out the dull glint of the chain wrapped around his neck. She thought it would have been destroyed in the fighting.
"We are similar in being sentimental, I suppose." He pulled out the chain and raised the signet ring attached to the end, "When I had lost my memory it was the only memento I truly had of my past with the exception of Derflinger." He laughed softly, "Derflinger told me I was obsessed with it. After spending the day with Tiffania and the children I would simply stare it in a daze. I was attached to it, but I had no idea as to why."
"Hmm..." She hummed. She didn't know what else she could say. She hadn't been with him for those four weeks, and it was clear by the way that he talked that despite his words he did truly care for her and the children. That...That of course meant that he was likely to stay here, away from her. She took a deep breath; that was understandable. He'd done enough for her and anyone else in his position would have abandoned her long ago.
"I...also met Siesta." He admitted. Both brows raised at that, "She had come back to Albion with Jessica and the others. Given the state of Albion many were willing to pay for a distraction; lust pervades all of humanity, after all."
"Did she...recognize you?" She doubted it, but she still had to ask.
"She did." The answer surprised her, "She saw the runes...and when she'd asked me about 'my' past the puzzles fell into place." He waved a finger in a small circle, "Even when she found out she told me that she did not know who I was...asked me if I was happy with my new life before bidding me a fond farewell." He looked up at the dark roof, "She has moved on, of that I am thankful."
"...Are you going to tell her?"
"I had planned to, but in the end I decided it was for the best if I do not go digging up any more graves." He brought a hand through his hair and let out a soft breath, "I...I do not wish for her to go through that pain again. Better to leave it this way."
"She'd probably be happy to find out you remember everything...at least that's what I think."
...Perhaps we should cut that conversation short. You do not need to hear of my troubles." He stood up and offered her a hand, which she took after some reluctance. His touch was cold as always, "...Why did you come here? To Albion, I mean."
"To look look for you, of course." She rolled her eyes. She thought that would have been rather obvious, "I knew you weren't dead. You always were too stubborn to die."
"You should not be so sure. I am still unsure if the seals still hold." She jumped, her eyes wide. He gave her a comforting smile, "Worry not, if the seal breaks I will end my life before I can hurt anyone else...and if not myself then Ciaran will be happy to do it for me." His smile turned sardonic, "You are safe."
"...Do you want to come back with me?" She didn't mean to say it so suddenly, but there was no going back now, "Only if you want to, of course. I'm not forcing you."
"Hmm? Oh, I suppose you still require a Familiar-"
"Forget about that," She snapped, "...Look, forget about being my Familiar or about any 'debts' you think you owe me - Forget about all of it. I stopped you from being my Familiar before Saxe-Gotha, so you're under no obligations." The thumbs of her hands pressed against his knuckles, "If it was just you with nothing else affecting your decision...would you stay with me or not?"
"...Do you want me to?" He asked back, his fingers moving through the gaps so they could link their hands. She was warm.
"...Yes, I want you to be with me." Her fingers slipped from his grasp, "But what I want doesn't matter. You've given enough of yourself trying to fulfill my wishes...so if you wish to stay with her...then I understand and wish you a happy life. You...You deserve it."
She'd left after that, soft cries barely heard as she trudged back to the room. Raziel wanted to call out to her, but there was nothing he could say to remedy the situation. It was a lie to say that he was tripping over himself to be with her; even if he didn't stay with Tiffania it didn't mean he would go back with her. From a logical standpoint he would be placing himself at continued risk for going back with her.
He needed to think. Walking back to his room, he opened the door quietly and laid down on his bed. Tiffania was with Ciaran doing Gods knew what and he was here; it was Tiffania's suggestion that he stay behind so she could try and explain the situation to the hardheaded assassin. He couldn't deny her point: His continued presence would only agitate her further.
With nothing to occupy him, his mind began to wonder once more. He knew that his escape from the asylum was contrary to everything he had been 'born' to do; and that wasn't even mentioning the fact that he, carrying the soul of what remained as Humanity's progenitor, had willingly entered a hundred years of torment in order to stave off the Darkness even temporarily.
Was he ever truly an Undead, or did fragment simply do its best to mimic the others in the Asylum? He always consumed Humanity when he had received it, but did he truly need it to stave off his insanity and Hollowing or was it simply to feed the beast and keep it docile? No simple Undead would have been able to survive as long as he had burning in that nightmare; individually a human's soul was weak, growing stronger only when joined with others.
So it wasn't a normal human's soul that was fed to the fires.
A set of slow bumps drew his attention. Sitting up he found his partner slowly nudging his way out of his sheath, 'yawning' all the while.
"Huaaaaaa...really wasn't planning that nap." He clicked, "...Hey, partner, you there?"
"Are you talking to me or 'Robin'?" He asked back, a hint of venom seeping into his tone. He...appreciated what his partner had tried to do, his attempt at giving him a 'happy ending', but naivete wasn't the way, "If it is the latter you will be disappointed; Robin is gone."
"You sure about that?" Despite the situation the sword sounded positively cheerful, "The old you would have started snarling already, rattling on and on about how I betrayed your trust and that this was unforgivable and that we were no longer partners," He could practically see the smile on his face (ignoring the fact that would have been impossible), "No, I think you still got a little bit of the kid inside. Stuff like that doesn't just get erased."
"Do not tempt me," He scoffed, though it already held much less vitriol, "...You know who I am, Derflinger. A painful truth over a comforting lie...I will no longer play the part of the fool. Not again."
"So you regret the time we spent here?" He countered, "You can't deny that you were happy here, partner. Happier than you ever were when you were with Pinky, that's for damn sure."
"That is...I will not deny that I cherish the month we spent with Tiffania and the children," He conceded, "But to blind myself is something I would never do. I was...I was like an infant taking its first steps into the world...helpless to danger and reliant on others to protect me." He scowled, remembering the Witch's wolf bearing down on his back. If he had been himself he would have smashed its throat under his foot.
"So what? Being a badass isn't the only way to be happy. So you couldn't kill people by stabbing a sword through em, isn't it better that you were happy? I know this is gonna sound weird coming from a sword, but killing your way to a resolution never works out. All that you leave behind is a sea of corpses that you gotta wade through on your way back."
"And yet I would have certainly perished to Ciaran and the Witch if my memories did not recover."
"Don't remind me," Derflinger groused, "That chick with the porcelain mask nearly broke the seals I placed. Pfeh, no respect for all my hard work! Well, you can thank me for the fact that you're not a mindless animal right now. Took a bit of finagling, but I managed to reseal it all back in...except maybe a few cracks here and there..." He trailed off uneasily.
"...What does that mean? Am I dying?" He'd lost counts of how many times he'd asked himself that question.
"Not...exactly." Raziel raised an eyebrow, silently urging him to continue, "Well, ya see I sealed up as much of that fucker back inside as I could, so you're safe...for now. As you can tell with what happened with Princess Stabbity putting your life at risk jostles the seal. Your hold on the body weakens and he tries to push through."
"...The more I get hurt, the more at risk I am of dying then." It sounded silly (and obvious) saying it out loud, but that was that.
"Well normally when people get stabbed they bleed out and die, but you? Yeah, you don't have that problem." He chuckled awkwardly, "Pain fractures the mind, and the weaker your mind is the more vulnerable you are. Anything that breaks the mind puts you at risk, but pain is probably the most obvious since it's a mix of mental and physical pain. Someone saying you look ugly ain't gonna hurt as much as a stab in the gut."
"What is it you suggest then? That I...refrain from combat? You know better by this point that it is rarely because of my own intentions. I did not will Ciaran or the Witch to attack us."
"Yeah, I know." There was noticeable frustration in the weapon's voice, "You're like a fucking Siren when it comes to picking fights; except instead of bringing in horny sailors you bring in crazy assholes with even crazier magic." He sighed in frustration, "Look...all I'm saying is be careful, yeah? Keep me close at all times if you're raring to pick a fight - I can try to fix the seals on the spot and make sure you don't lose control. Beyond that there's not much we can do."
"...It is a definite improvement over our previous situation." He gave his partner a stilted smile, causing the sword to let out a chortle. He had a point, "Even a few more months is more than I expected, so I cannot complain."
"Hey, that's the spirit! Told you the kid was still in there."
"Perhaps you are right." He rubbed his temples with one hand. He felt...odd. He still remembered the month he experienced, felt a distinct sense of shame at the way he behaved...but in the end a part of that 'stupidity' still remained. He was Raziel, he was sure of that...but perhaps a part of that childish immaturity still remained.
"What's wrong, partner? Lost in thought?"
"In a sense, yes." He stood up and stretched his arms over his head, getting a quick reminder of his current body, "Uh...Derflinger, now that my memories are back and you have resealed the remnant...could you change my body?"
"Pfft, to what?" A louder laugh this time, "Back to that priest's body? Didn't think you liked the guy enough to copy him." Raziel grimaced. He was right on that, "But if you're talking about molding your body like clay? Eh...not a good idea. Like I said I barely managed to give you a dick last time it happened and it took all my focus to make sure you didn't turn to a girl. Your body's stable right now, if we muck with it we could end up making things worse."
"...Can you at least not make me taller?" He gestured to the top of his head. He didn't want to plead, but he would kneel on the floor if that was what it took, "I feel like a child...I look like a child."
"Oh come on, it's not that bad! I mean there has to be a reason Elfy went for you even if you look like that!"
If that was supposed to be comforting then it failed. Raziel ran a hand through his hair and sighed in frustration. He had lost a decent amount of inches and while he was still capable of combat in this state he would have to get used to looking up to most other combatants...combatants who didn't have to look up when talking to others and had muscles that could fit plate and leather armors.
...He was wrong. Being like Julio would have been tolerable to this.
The door slowly opening jostled him out of his reverie. Turning back he found Tiffania hesitantly peering into the room.
"Tiffania..." He did his best to smile but nothing came. Looking at her now all he could see was the resemblance she had to her mother - Her golden hair, her hypnotizing eyes, her innocent expression.
Her lips that he had kissed.
He shook his head forcefully. That part of his mind could stay dead, "...Is something wrong? I am surprised Ciaran is not with you."
"I, um, managed to convince her to trust me." She shuffled her feet uneasily, "She...told me that she would come in if I didn't come back in five minutes." She bit her lower lip, "Robin-"
"Raziel..."
"Raziel." She look distinctly uncomfortable at reverting to his previous name, "I told you before that there was someone I wanted you to meet...well, is now a good time? It...seems Lady Ciaran knows her as well and insisted she be there when we meet."
"First, I need to ask a question." He closed his eyes briefly and let out a breath. He wanted to ask her before, but Ciaran's presence made it difficult, "Are you truly Dusk's daughter? You...You mentioned that your mother was named Estella."
Reluctantly Tiffania entered the room and sat beside him on the bed, looking down all the while. A part of him was tempted to embrace her but he squashed it He wouldn't fall prey to Manus'...obsessions, "I wasn't lying when I said that." She started softly, "My mother told me that was her name and...I had no reason to think she was lying to me. No matter what she never called herself 'Dusk'."
"You said that she was rescued in the forest. Did she...ever tell you what she was doing there?"
"Nothing more than that her home had been destroyed. I tried to ask her before for an explanation but she simply told me that it was the past and it was nothing to worry about anymore. I never pushed her; I thought it was like those things father deals with and never talks about."
"Could Ciaran have been lying then?" He tried not to sound too hopeful, but he could tell by her expression that he did a poor job masking it.
"I thought so as well, but..." She bit her lower lip, "She told me things that...that not even father knew. She...She told me that she'd been watching over the both of us at my mother's request. There were times that mother left - not too long, just an hour or two - and when I asked she told me she'd simply been taking a walk. Lady Ciaran she...told me that they conversed...to try and stave off her loneliness."
"She was trapped in a world that was not hers...it is only natural to find comfort in familiarity."
"I suppose." Her lips curled into a tiny smile. She wanted to say more, but they had little time. Later, after they met her, "...Could we get going then? Lady Ciaran won't wait for long."
"As expected." He sighed, "Let me grab Derflinger and-"
"Ah, please don't do that." She pleaded quickly, "I...I don't want any fighting anymore, and she agreed to disarm herself provided you do so as well." Seeing his reluctance she took hold of his hands gently and locked their fingers together, "Do it for me, please? I know you have good reason to hate her but fighting isn't the way to solve this. Just talk with her and...you can both come to an understanding.
"...Of course." He gave Derflinger a meaningful look, but Tiffania's pleading expression was overpowering. Taking Derflinger with him would have made much more sense, but...
Ah, damn it.
"Let us go then."
Short chapter here, but like I said this was an experiment...that and I didn't expect that one segment to reach nearly 6k words. Anyway, as you can tell by this chapter Raziel is much more tolerable and stable. Derflinger posits the explanation that at least part of the 'Robin' personality remained in addition to his recovered memories, which evens him out to be more well-adjusted and mentally sound without losing his combat capabilities.
Choosing the segment above means that the story is a bit more idealistic. While it never loses its dark nature, it's no longer seeping with the feeling of hopelessness and fatalism like before. Characters like Ciaran and Raziel are more tolerable, less likely to be petty or prone to violence regardless of their issues. Think of it like shaving off a bit of the dark coating; and don't worry, this doesn't mean I'm going back to the cheese factor of the Sappy BS chapters if you choose the first one.
As you can tell wasn't the case in the original plan, where his sanity actually got worse due to the way he woke up. To compare here's a short snippet of how he was during the original Louise confrontation.
Louise stopped herself as she caught sight of the lone figure. Raziel(?) was looking away from her, staring out the open window without a sound. She nearly didn't see him; he stood absolutely still, not a single trace of moment throughout his entire body.
If he noticed her presence he made no move to acknowledge her. Loosening the scarf's circle on her neck, she fidgeted in place and debated on what to do. Apart from the fact it possibly wasn't him - though that was rather unlikely all things considered - she had no idea how to go about this. Was he still the same after everything? Could she go back to the routine she was used to and expect him to follow along with it.
Standing here wouldn't accomplish anything. Straightening herself, she put a fist in front of her mouth and did her best to give a polite cough.
Nothing. She coughed again, louder this time, but he still hadn't turned around. Was he...Was he ignoring her? Eyebrows furrowing she stepped closer, wincing at the loud creaking of the wood underneath her feet.
Still nothing. Not even a twitch of acknowledgment.
Taking a deep breath, she decided to call out, "Raziel...?"
This time he turned to face her, his neck craning to look back but doing little else. The expression on his face was...empty. He looked right at her and she wrung her fingers together; this felt awkward. It was as if she was a pet on display (she did her best to ignore the irony of that thought).
After a minute of tense silence he looked out of the window once more, still saying nothing. She suddenly felt a distinct sense of annoyance - She wasn't expecting teary hugs or the like, but she thought he would at least react to her presence! The way he looked at her...for all intents and appearances he might as well have been staring at a wall or patch of grass rather than a friend.
"H-Hey, look at me."
This time his entire body turned to face her, arms crossing in front of his chest. She could make out a hint of...something in his look, but it was gone before she could try to grasp on what it was. They stared at one another, Louise silently hoping that he would make the first move to say something.
It was hard to look at him; it was as if she was looking at a stranger.
"So...where is that woman?" She asked softly. Not the first question she would preferred but she was grasping at straws. One brow raised, almost imperceptible in the darkness, "Uh...the woman with the mask. The one you were fighting with."
His head nudged, just barely, to the door leading outside. So...she was outside then? That was all she could understand from his minute gestures. She waited, wondering if he would ask another question, but no sound came. Eventually his gaze wandered, looking at everything except her.
"H-Hey, say something." She didn't want to sound desperate, but the silence was stifling, "Don't you...have anything to say? It's been a month since we saw one another and...and I didn't know if you were even alive." She took a breath to calm herself, "You...You don't wanna say something? Anything at all?"
Another moment of pregnant silence. Raziel looked away, seemingly bored by the exchange. Louise felt a wave of annoyance run through her; even if he wasn't happy to see her - and she wouldn't have blamed him if he wasn't - he shouldn't have ignored her. Did he...not care at all? After everything they'd been through he felt nothing to finding out they'd both survived certain death.
Apparently not, as when he moved again it was to pass by her and go back to his room, "H-Hey, wait!" In her desperation she grabbed his hand and pulled, drawing him closer to her. His head snapped to her hand, but his expression never changed. He tried to slip his hand from hers but she held on tighter, "I-I said wait!" She screamed, "I didn't come all this way for you to just ignore me, damn it!
His struggled ceased. Looking up she saw him sigh silently before regarding her again. He looked slightly annoyed now, but beyond that there was nothing else she could discern.
"S-Sorry, but you weren't stopping so..." She trailed off, letting go of his hand. It was as cold as ever, "I...look, I'm not asking for a step-by-step of what happened with you these past few weeks but..." She licked her lips nervously, "Just...please say something. I need to know you're still there."
His mouth parted slightly and she waited...but again nothing come. He closed it shut and looked away, his eyes rolling what she could only presume to be exasperation.
Okay, enough was enough! Grabbing his left hand she raised it forcefully and pressed her face closer till they were nearly touching, "Say something! I don't care what, just say anything!" The runes on his left hand glowed dully. She hated doing this, but he wasn't going to talk to her any other way.
His next words made her wish she remained silent.
"...You left me to die." His voice never rose above a soft whisper, but it chilled her all the same.
"Wh-What!? You think I..." The look in his eyes...it caused her heart to beat faster nervously and she quickly released him, backing away in a rush, "I-I told Julio to come back for you! But when I passed out he told me that you were..." She took a frantic breath, "L-Look, you have to believe me-"
She grabbed his shoulders, more out of desperation than anything else, but he reacted all the same. Letting out a muffled scream, she had to resist the urge to struggle as Raziel pressed her against the wall, one hand against her chest and another at her neck. The look in his eyes chilled her to the bone, "R-Raziel...stop..." Her hand grabbed for his wrist, trying to loosen his grip on her throat.
That seemed to jolt him he suddenly released her. Louise breathed desperately, rubbing her sore throat. Raziel looked away, his lips pressed into a thin line, before shoving past her to go back to her room. She wanted to call out to him, but fear kept her silent. She knew Raziel; he would never hurt her, at least not while he still held his sanity. He cared about her.
So why, for a moment there, did she fear for her life?
Well, as you can see Raziel is much more apathetic and hostile in this scenario. Throughout the entire snippet he says maybe five words, and Louise had to force those out. The next chapters have him not talking at all unless he really needs answers; the explanation being his mind was fractured in the resealing and Derflinger had to put it back together.
This also means he gets little to no POV's for the next few chapters. Due to his lack of verbal dialogue other characters take up the slack as narrator and he's relegated to a more reactionary silent protagonist role. He's also more bluntly depraved - He openly cannibalizes corpses right in front of others and seems barely held-together, seemingly more a half-feral animal than a character.
As expected I thought people would have doubts about this characterization. The coming arcs are supposed to be a shift with characters becoming more pro-active towards inciting change, so this would have contrasted heavily with the theme. People have also made clear that the happier segments were a breath of fresh air so I thought a balance between the two would be better than going back into the dark hole and digging deeper.
So yeah, comment on whether you like the former or the latter more and I'll do my best to adjust accordingly. Choosing the former doesn't just affect Raziel, however - It also affects other characters, their relationships and even plot actions undertaken. So please decide which direction appeals to you more and if possible give reasons as to why :)
Sorry for the (relatively) short chapter, but I need to decide where this story is going. Don't worry we'll got more plot and explanations for Ciaran in the next chapter.
The Weeping Prophet - If the bad guys lose immediately then there's no plot except the aftermath, right? Besides, that's basically Dark Souls in a nutshell: You WILL beat the boss...it's just a matter of how many embarrassing deaths you incur till you get there. This is only their 1st/2nd meeting with Sheffield so there's no rush.
Kishinokurobi - You might wanna be careful about laying that out there on a public post so openly. Anyway, not everyone pitches tents even when they're attracted to a person. Some people just control it better...or they can't get it up.
Lurker - A massively traumatized one from just being freed after a hundred years of burning non-stop, that's what.
Remvis - Hey, it's nice to finally find someone with an opposing viewpoint :D Anyway, romance is as I stated before not my forte - I only wrote IS stories, so the romances I wrote about were kinda cheap. Regardless, I'm not gonna argue whether it was 'realistic' for him to get together with Tiffania or not - You say it isn't because of his lack of memories, others say his lack of memories would greatly accelerate a relationship forming. Ultimately it's up to you.
As for the romance, we'll see where it goes. You had no problems with Cattleya when I first teased it, and yet I could argue that her disney-esque 'Dancing under the moonlight' segment was just as bad as his 'Playing in the river' moment with Tiffania. If I can get some chemistry going then I'll put in a romance if it's not too suspension of disbelief breaking, but the growing friendship gets more attention.
On a side note, while I could understand the savior complex argument for Tiffania the stockholm syndrome one makes no sense as she doesn't hold him hostage in any way. Stockholm syndrome would be more fitting with Louise rather than Tiffania, though their relationship isn't romantic.