Wounds
Part Three

From where I am, I can see just about every detail of what's taking place within the room. His bed is placed just under the window and there's enough light pouring in to make this something that's practically illuminated for me. It's not the first time I've seen this, but it leaves a bad taste in my mouth just the same. From that moment he sneeringly told me not to sit outside his door, I had chosen to commit myself to this. Why?

I still have no clue.

But I'm here; soaking in the details of a person, whom I thought was strong, being devoured by another. It's distressing because he doesn't look like he's enjoying it, despite the sounds I hear coming from him. From the noise alone, I think he sounds like he's sunken into this—that he's taken everything that satisfies him out of it. But the truth is—as I can see plain as day—that he's suffering. Maybe there's no physical pain that can affect Kanda Yuu, but the emotional writhing glitters off him just like the pale moonlight pouring through the window.

In the dead silence, the only real sounds are Kanda's unrestrained grunts and the heavier breathing of his partner of the day. Where he finds these people, I just don't know and I never want to know. It's one of those questions that I've managed to completely tune out until this point.

All I know is that they don't care about him anymore than he cares about them. They're as faceless to him as they are to me. The only difference is that I'm not the one that's being ruthlessly broken into the mattress. Kanda is face down, completely blind to his abuser this time and just short of screaming into the bloodied sheets. It's taking me most of this session to determine whether or not these screams are pleasure or despair. It's also taking everything in me to stay where I am and not tear the stranger off him.

I can hear harsh whispers and Kanda's growling and my mind travels to places that I really don't want it to. It's disgusting because I shouldn't be wondering…I shouldn't be curious. There's nothing about this that's appealing enough to make me wonder what these people feel when Kanda's giving himself to them. Do they realize what's going on in the person beneath them? Or are they just in it for the quick burst of pleasure?

Something tells me that they're not interested in Kanda's wellbeing. And then, I wonder why I'm so invested. Kanda has been nothing by crude and unfriendly to me, yet I am just short of desperately reaching out—even to the point where I have no idea what I'm doing. I'm watching him having sex with someone else; as if it's not completely insane to be playing the part of a voyeur.

To me, it's nothing strange. I've seen my share of people sharing bodies. My master wasn't a shy man and brothels weren't an uncommon place for me to stay when he decided he wanted the feel of a woman on him. I, however, never bothered. There's something impersonal and empty about this and perhaps this is why what he's doing bothers me more than I ever want to admit.

A sharp hiss breaks into the room and I almost jump. Almost, because I've heard this before. I know that sound because of the last time it happened, when his partner stopped being so gentle. There's a cold reflection in my silver eyes, hazy and miserable by second hand. He's letting out frustrations in raspy, dry cries and I realized the last time that his mask is cracked and the wet spots in the sheets under his cheek aren't from pleasure.

It hurts to watch and it hurts to hear. The selfish part of me wants to put my hands over my ears and just block it out, but I don't. I don't because I'm thinking and letting it sink in. I'm observing until I can figure out where to bandage and how to cure. Even as the world around me blurs, I keep my eyes open. I'll cry with him so that he's not alone. The very fact that he's allowed my presence in the very room he's doing this, has to be a call for help—even if it's vague and blackened out with the blunt coldness of his personality.

Really, all I want to do is wrap my arms around him and shield him from what's hurting him most: himself.

To Be Continued...

A/N: Thank you for the wait, I'm having to edit this while writing other things. The update schedule should be shifted to be constant soon.