Chapter 4

After Iruka woke Kakashi up for lunch and gave Kakashi some pain medication for his head, the man seemed pretty chipper. If drugged out.

"Maa, Ruka-sensei, what do you do around here for fun?" Kakashi asked. He looked around the living room with interest. "Do you have any games?"

"I'm afraid not," Iruka said. "I don't often have free time, you see, so…" He trailed off. Why don't I have any games? You'd think I'd at least have a board game or two and a deck of cards. But, no. Whenever he finally caught a break long enough to relax, he went over to his friends' homes to play games and drink beer. Unless he was on the way to a gathering, he never purchased alcohol, and when his friends gathered at his place, they brought their own games.

He was, he realized suddenly, boring. The thought horrified Iruka.

Kakashi beamed. "Let's make up a game."

Iruka was startled that Kakashi didn't seem to mind; in fact, that Kakashi had missed the Hokage Monument sized target that being a boring teacher presented. He's not going to mock me? "Make up a game? How do we do that?"

"Maa, we just think of something," Kakashi said. He rolled off the sofa and onto the floor, lying on his back comfortably. He shifted against the carpet and crossed his arms behind his head.

Iruka was bemused. "Do you want me to join you?"

"Sure," Kakashi said.

Iruka got down on the floor of his living room and lay next to Kakashi, feeling absurd. He mimicked Kakashi's posture, crossing his arms behind his head and spreading his legs out straight and flat. Iruka realized he had never once lain down on his living room floor. This is a strange experience… It wasn't bad. The navy carpet was warm. And he always kept the floors in his house clean.

"So, let's think of something," Kakashi said, re-opening the subject.

"Oh." Iruka was startled out of his preoccupation with how it felt to lie on his floor. "Yes." He glanced at Kakashi, then stared up at his ceiling. I never noticed how white it was before.

"Let's play a word game," Kakashi said.

Iruka, again, found this abrupt. But he wasn't going to argue. "Okay. What kind of word game?"

"We give each other a word, and then we take turns talking about words that have to do with that word," Kakashi decided. "Like…ano…if I say dog, then you say…dog sled. Try finding words that begin the same, but have different endings. Or phrases that include the word."

Iruka nodded. "Okay…if I say 'dog sled', what do you say?"

"Old dog," Kakashi said.

Iruka smiled. "So I say…pet dog."

"I say ninja dog," Kakashi said.

Iruka grinned. He was getting a feel for this game now. "Okay. I can play this game. It sounds like fun."

Kakashi nodded, and smiled at him. "Great."

"Do you want to keep going on 'dog'?" Iruka asked.

"Sure," Kakashi said. "It's your turn, Ruka-sensei."

"Mm…" Iruka thought for a moment, squinting up at his very white ceiling. "War dog."

"Mad dog," Kakashi said immediately.

"Hot dog," Iruka returned.

"Dog food." Kakashi's visible eye sparkled.

"Male dog."

"Good dog."

"Sheep dog."

"Shaggy dog!"

"Stray dog," Iruka called out, enjoying the sound of their voices filling the room. The apartment hadn't felt this full in a long time; not since five peers from his graduating class had met here for a card game.

"Police dog," Kakashi decided.

"Rescue dog," Iruka retorted.

Kakashi grinned. "Dog whistle."

"Therapy dog…"

"Dog breed."

"Dog-eared book!" Iruka grinned at him.

Kakashi laughed. "Icha Icha."

Iruka chuckled, rolling onto his side to face Kakashi. "Jiraiya-sensei."

"Naruto."

"Minato-sensei."

"Rin."

Iruka was startled at the turn this game had taken. "Ah…"

Kakashi looked at Iruka with wide eyes. "I haven't visited my team," he whispered.

Iruka knew instantly he had to respond, or face an upset Kakashi. "Let's go visit them now."

Kakashi climbed to his feet. "Okay."

Iruka got up as well. "Just make sure you dress warmly. I don't want a cold, shivering Kashi-chan on my hands."

"Why not?" Kakashi asked.

Iruka hugged him impulsively. "Because then I'll have to snuggle him warm." Whoa, did I just come onto him?

Kakashi chuckled. "Okay." He clung to Iruka in return.

Iruka remembered Kakashi's unreliable state of maturity. No…I was just falling into a bantering routine like I would with a child. That's right. He hugged Kakashi tightly and then let him go. "I have scarves…"

He walked back to his bedroom.

Kakashi trailed after him curiously.

After Iruka got Kakashi bundled up with two scarves, a sweater, winter gloves, and sweatpants, complete with nice, thick socks to keep Kakashi's feet warm, he allowed Kakashi out of the house with him. It was the end of summer, and the season was fading in and out. He didn't want any cold wind to cut through Kakashi's delicate frame. Chakra exhaustion made one more susceptible to the cold.

They exited the apartment. Iruka kept an eye on Kakashi carefully, but Kakashi seemed steady on his feet. And a little exercise wouldn't do him any harm. In fact, in moderate doses, non-chakra assisted exercise actually generated chakra. Kakashi's improvement would be helped along by a walk across the village.

Kakashi unerringly led him through the streets until they reached the outskirts of the village. Iruka silently followed, keeping his mouth shut even though he recognized where they were going. This was the place he tried to avoid going too often; the memorial stone had the names of his parents engraved on it. Seeing those names, detached from him, matter-of-factly spelled out in orderly grooves, never failed to fill Iruka with a sense of numbness.

He saw the memorial stone before he wanted to, his gaze snapping to it and latching on.

Kakashi didn't appear to notice his discomfort; the man was absorbed in his own thoughts.

Iruka hung back, while Kakashi crossed over directly to the front of the memorial stone and knelt in front of it. Wrapped up against the cold, this sight was somehow even more poignant than Iruka expected it to be.

"Hi," Kakashi said softly. "Sorry I didn't come. I was in the hospital. And then at Iruka-sensei's place. But he told me to call him Ruka, so I'm going to do that from now on, 'kay? But I mean Iruka-sensei."

Iruka wondered, Has Kakashi spoken of me before to them? Kakashi's remarks certainly hinted at that possibility. And if Kakashi kept his team appraised of the news in his life, then he probably had mentioned Iruka once or twice.

Kakashi gestured at him. "You can come over here."

Iruka froze in shock. "Me?"

Kakashi gave him a strange look. "Yes, you. Who else would I be talking to?"

Iruka swallowed a retort and walked over. His legs had already gone numb at the summons. "Yes?" he said quietly.

"They want to meet you," Kakashi said. "They say you never come."

Iruka felt a shiver down his spine. "Well…" There's no such thing as spirits lingering around gravestones and things…are there? He'd always believed that spirits went to an afterlife. Oh, come off it, he chided himself. Kakashi probably said that because he never see you when he comes to visit his team.

"It's okay," Kakashi said. "Everyone has their own way of coping. Maybe yours doesn't involve visiting gravestones. That's okay." He looked up at Iruka expectantly.

Iruka knelt beside Kakashi, sinking down to Kakashi's eye level.

Kakashi turned his gaze back to the memorial stone, his hands resting comfortably on his knees. "See? He's here." He glanced at Iruka. "They say hi."

"Hi," Iruka said, smiling wryly in spite of himself. This was kind of cute, even if it was old-fashioned. Most people either believed like Iruka did, or they made shrines in their homes. After the first few years of a person's death, people generally stopped visiting gravesites.

Kakashi smiled at the memorial stone, seeming happy with this exchange. "So…Oh." He raised his eyebrows. "That's right. You don't know. I got chakra exhausted by being attacked by Itachi and using my new powers to combat Akatsuki. Minato-sensei knows what Akatsuki is. Ask him. I unlocked the mangekyou sharingan ability. Obito, did you know about that? Oh. I guess not."

The fluidity of this conversation Iruka could only hear half of amazed him; Kakashi had clearly been visiting the stone for years, with faithful regularity. Keeping his team alive in spirit form the only way he knew how: by talking with them.

Kakashi tilted his head. "Rin, you're silent." Then he smiled. "Ah, you're worried. Maa, don't be concerned. Ruka-chan is taking care of me. He's a good caretaker." He spread his arms. "See this? Ruka-sensei did this to keep me from being cold. He's good."

Kakashi talked for several more minutes about things that had happened, and related them back to experiences he'd had with his team.

Iruka waited patiently, and rose when Kakashi did. They walked companionably side by side when they left the memorial stone. "So…did that go well?" Iruka asked.

"Oh, it always goes well," Kakashi said. "They're my team. They love me."

Iruka squeezed his shoulder and smiled.

xXx

They ended up back on the couch in the living room, Iruka's arm around Kakashi's shoulders.

"Tsunade…" Kakashi sighed. "Is she going to make you report on me? Like what I do? Every day?"

"I'm sure I can control the flow of information in my reports to include only things she would be interested in," Iruka said.

"Like what?" Kakashi asked.

"Like your energy level," Iruka said.

"Oh." Kakashi thought about that. "She doesn't seem to like me very much, does she? I thought she might yell at me, but still. She was a little harsh."

"Honestly, I can't fathom what's the matter with her," Iruka said. "She treated you like an enemy. Why in the world would Tsunade be sure that you would hurt yourself unless you were in the hospital?"

"Well, when I was little, I used to stick my finger down my throat and cough up the medication after nurse gave it to me." Kakashi looked at the floor and shuffled his foot. "She probably remembers it or something."

"Why did you do that, Kashi-chan?" Iruka asked gently.

Kakashi glanced up at him. "I was scared. Because…" Kakashi visibly struggled to put it into words. Then he shook his head and looked away. "It's stupid. I was stupid."

"No, you weren't," Iruka said, pulling Kakashi into his arms. "You were just scared."

Kakashi nodded, relaxing. "After I was in that program…the nurses…there were a lot of female caregivers in the program, and there was…something wrong with them." He furrowed his brow. "Something was wrong with them. They gave me a prickly feeling. I thought maybe –" He broke off.

Iruka was alarmed. "Did they hurt you?"

Kakashi shook his head, wide-eyed. "No, no, no. They were very nice. It's just that –" He stopped and let out a frustrated breath.

"Take your time," Iruka said softly. He wondered if maybe stroking Kakashi's hair would help. He ran his fingers through Kakashi's hair slowly.

Kakashi relaxed enough to rest his head on Iruka's shoulder. "I thought they were trying to poison me. Or…do something bad to me. Something mean. I don't know why. I just thought so. So I would wait until no one was watching me…and throw up all the pills someplace. I was being very clever. The only problem was when…I wasn't getting any better. And they got suspicious. They found out…what I was doing. And they were angry…" He curled into Iruka, trembling.

Shit! Iruka hugged Kakashi tightly. "It's okay. It's okay now. No one's angry with you. No one who counts. I'll protect you. Kashi…"

Kakashi stopped trembling and clung to him.

Iruka rocked him gently. "Did you ever tell anyone?"

"Who would I tell?" Kakashi sounded lost.

"It's okay." Iruka rubbed his back. "You can tell me now. I'm here."

"They stuck me with needles because I was throwing up all the pills," Kakashi said. "They thought I was trying to commit suicide or something, so they got really mad and locked me up with the mental patients. They did that because they were mad. I wasn't trying to do anything, really. I just didn't trust the pills. But they wouldn't let me out, even when I said I was sorry. I promised to behave…" Kakashi's shoulders sagged. "They didn't believe me. They never believe me."

"I believe you," Iruka said immediately. "You've behaved wonderfully the entire time you have been here."

Kakashi brightened, lifting his head from Iruka's shoulder. "I have?"

"Yes." Iruka petted his head. "I am very proud of you."

Kakashi gave him a blinding smile.

Iruka was taken aback at how easy Kakashi was to please. Praise is the path to happy students. Someone had said that to him once when he started his teaching job. He thought it may have been Sandaime. In any case, he'd taken the advice seriously. And it had admittedly led to a lot of students telling him he was 'their favorite'.

"Kashi-chan, is it okay if I ask you a question?" Iruka asked. "You don't have to answer."

"Okay," Kakashi said. "What is it?" He tilted his head.

"Was Minato-sensei nice to you?"

Kakashi melted. "Minato-sensei was the nicest. I loved him a lot. I mean, I love him now, but he's dead. People speak in past tense about dead people. For some reason."

The ball of tension in Iruka's gut dissolved. "Okay." He ran his fingers through Kakashi's hair again. "Good."

"Minato-sensei was my favorite person in the world, once," Kakashi said. "Since he's not here anymore, I had to make due, but it's not the same. I still miss him and want him to come back."

"I understand that," Iruka said, cradling Kakashi and thinking of his parents. He still wished his parents would come back, even knowing they wouldn't. He figured Kakashi meant the same thing.

He realized suddenly that he didn't know anything about Kakashi's religious beliefs. Iruka squeezed Kakashi tightly and commented, "You know, I was brought up to believe that everyone goes to the same place eventually."

Kakashi looked curious. "What do you mean?"

"Our spirits," Iruka said. "After we die, we go to a place where we can all be safe and loved, all the time. And everyone is together. That is what my mother told me."

"Oh." Kakashi thought about that. "I never heard of that before. I thought everybody was kind of stuck, or they disappeared, or something. I like your idea better. That sounds like a lot more fun."

"Maybe, if I'm right, we'll get to see Minato-sensei again," Iruka said lightly. "And this time, there will be no pulling us apart. We'd never have to say goodbye again."

Kakashi gave him a shy smile. "I'd like that. I hope you're right, Ruka-sensei. I really want to see Minato-sensei again."

"And I want to see my parents," Iruka said, stroking Kakashi's cheek. "So I hope I'm right, too."

Kakashi hugged him. "You're very good at this."

"What?" Iruka was startled.

"Making me feel better," Kakashi said. "Gai does it too, but not as good as you."

Iruka laughed. "I'm not going to tell Gai that, are you?"

"Maa, maybe I will," Kakashi said, with a teasing look. "He needs to know the truth, after all. If he thinks he's already the best there is, he won't try to improve."

Iruka snorted. "And now I know why he calls you Eternal Rivals. You're always trying to bait him into getting better at things, aren't you?"

Kakashi grinned. "Mm-hmm."

Iruka laughed at Kakashi's unrepentant attitude. "Well, I guess everyone has their own way of building a friendship. Gai seems to like it when you do that to him, so I guess it's alright."

Kakashi nodded. "Gai loves it when I tease him and make him do things by telling him he can't. He says that makes me a 'hip and cool rival'."

After a few more minutes of talking about Gai, Kakashi wound down enough to go to sleep. He took a nap, snuggled up to Iruka.

xXx

Half an hour later, Sakura showed back up at the door, a less than attractive expression on her face of resigned exasperation. "Okay…Shishou says I have to help you move Kaka-sensei's belongings into here so he can live here for the next two and a half months."

"Two and a half months? Really?" Iruka gave her a look of mild surprise. "I thought it was two months, three days, and then I'd be fired if I didn't show back up for work."

Sakura sighed and ran a hand through her hair, brushing it back from her forehead. "Shishou and I got to talking with Shizune about what would be best for Kaka-sensei, and it seems Shishou and Shizune think that his recovery is estimated at two and a half months…so they just want you to go back on duty when Kaka-sensei is better."

Kakashi was visibly relieved.

He stood several paces behind Iruka, in the kitchen. When Sakura had knocked on the door, Kakashi had come along with Iruka to answer it, but not gone the full distance, apparently recognizing Sakura's chakra before Iruka did.

Iruka nodded, internally as relieved as Kakashi looked.

Sakura pouted. "I still don't understand why you're taking care of him instead of letting us take care of Kaka-sensei at the hospital, Iruka-sensei."

Kakashi smiled cheerfully. "Because he's nice."

Sakura crossed her arms over her chest and glared at him. "Yeah, Iruka-sensei is nice. And you're taking advantage of him to avoid the hospital. Because he's so nice."

Kakashi blinked, the smile disappearing. "Taking advantage of him?" His gaze slid to Iruka. "No I'm not. Ruka-chan says that I can stay here because I want to stay here. He says I'm behaving well."

Iruka knew when he saw Kakashi's smile disappear that he needed to step in, and quickly. He was surprised that Kakashi mounted a defense first – it seemed that telling Kakashi all those positive things really did work – but he knew that Kakashi's dutiful repetition of what he had said would be insufficient to stop Sakura's verbal attacking.

"I have volunteered to take care of Kakashi and take him into my home because I care about him," Iruka said. "He doesn't wish to be cooped up in the hospital, and honestly, who would when they have family to go home to? Now, Kakashi doesn't have a family, in the blood ties sense, but I am his family and I care about him the way a family member would. We all have to stick together."

Sakura cringed. "I'm sorry, Iruka-sensei. I got carried away."

"Yes, you did," Iruka said gently. "Don't reprimand your elders like that, and please don't second-guess my decisions. I am an adult. I can take care of myself, and others, and I choose to do so. Kakashi is under my protection. And I won't take kindly to you telling Kashi that he is taking advantage of me."

Sakura hung her head.

"And I'm not the only one you have to apologize to," Iruka said. He gestured at Kakashi. "I think you need to apologize to Kakashi, too."

Sakura's head snapped up. She looked at Kakashi with horror.

Kakashi hastily held up a hand. "Maa, I don't think that will be necessary."

Sakura looked to Iruka, her expression equal parts hopeful and nervous.

"Are you sure?" Iruka asked Kakashi. After all, he couldn't force Kakashi to take an apology from Sakura.

Kakashi chuckled. "Sakura has always been a little loudmouthed and hasty. I would hate to hold that against her now when I have put up with it for so many years without complaint."

Sakura turned bright red, let out a loud growl of frustration, and stomped out of the apartment. "I'm getting Kaka-sensei's things from his apartment!" she yelled from down the hall.

Kakashi scratched his temple. "What did I say?"

Iruka went to the front door and shut it. Then he turned to Kakashi with a rueful smile. "You don't know, do you?"

Kakashi shook his head. "No…Tell me."

Iruka wondered how to explain. "Speaking bluntly about someone's flaws makes them angry."

"It does?" Kakashi considered that.

"Yes," Iruka said gently.

"So if I told you that you have a reputation for having a temper, but your real flaw is being stubborn, I would make you angry with me?" Kakashi looked at him warily.

Iruka snorted, and had to concede that assessment. "Well…not all people will be angry. But a lot of people will."

Kakashi laughed. "I see." He smiled at Iruka cheerfully. "Thanks for the advice."

Iruka thought Kakashi was serious. Oh, dear. He chuckled and pulled Kakashi into his arms. "It's nothing."

"Mm." Kakashi snuggled up to him happily. "Back to the sofa for snuggles."

"I agree," Iruka said. He let Kakashi lead him back there.