XXX

Note: (Negima) – (Fate/Stay Night) X-Over, semi-spinoff of chapter 3 of "Tales of the Kaleidoscope" by Hero Slayer

Setting: A dimension-traveling Shirou is too weak to protect Negi when his village is burned down, but his dedication to try to do so, convinces Negi's father that he would do fine to raise his son by himself. Shirou is too wounded to argue the point.

XXX

Story: [A Magus at Mahora]

Summary: How would Shirou fit in as a parent in the Negimaverse anyway?

Genre: Family, Humor

XXX

Negi was four years old when he'd arrived here, and the kid wasn't the brightest crayon in the box. In fact, the sheer level of absentminded stupidity that followed the boy wherever he went was enough to convince Shirou that no matter how book-smart the kid got, he would never cease to use his massive intellect in the most retarded manner possible.

Shirou, being a little peculiar about a great many things, wasn't entirely sure if that was a good or a bad thing.

Negi was a clever kid, able to breeze through learning the magic of his own world in a way that blew his classmates out of the water. Even if he was still a bit too bizarrely naive considering the horrors that he'd experienced.

It was weird raising a kid. Shirou had been barely twenty-five when he'd gotten blindsided by the Thousand Master's assumption that he'd raise the man's son in his absence. Not that he minded terribly much.

Shirou Emiya was a person who Saved people, after all. And even if he'd really been planning on continuing his journey to find his home world – an attempt that was most likely doomed to failure for a great variety of reasons – it wasn't like there was any great urgency for him to get back there.

And if there was... well, Rin would probably manage to find him faster if he didn't keep jumping around the Kaleidoscope.

So he wasn't overly displeased with somehow ending up with the role of a parent, even if it was to a kid who was as obsessed with finding his biological father as Shirou himself had been to follow his own adopted father's Ideals. Two sides of a most unusual coin.

But that they were from different original worlds did sometimes cause a few misunderstandings to pop up.

Magical Circuits didn't exist in this world. The Clock Tower and the way it operated sounded more like a nightmarish horror story to the inhabitants of this world, than anything even remotely resembling facts. And magic was both more powerful, and more silly, and more dangerous, and more versatile than it had ever been in Shirou's own world.

It was nearly unheard of for a magic-user of this world to accidentally kill themselves through their research. It was fairly common for them to injure themselves when they exploded something a bit too close to themselves, but it was only very rarely lethal.

Magical barriers were par for the course, and capable of blocking a ridiculous level of power in comparison to what could be done even through rituals in his own world. The Noble Phantasm Rho Aias was a bit extreme in comparison to most of the barriers in this world, but it wasn't even remotely as flexible, and had the added disadvantage of breaking down his own body as it lost its seven petals.

Flight was also considered fairly average, though Wind-users were generally better at it than those utilizing other elements.

Speaking of elements, those also differed from his original world, going with the regular four, but adding Lightning and Darkness and Light, to go along with those. And that was only the western mages. Root knows how the oriental ones arranged theirs.

So there were some misunderstandings, a few horror stories swapped between Shirou and some of the teachers at the magical academy that Negi was currently attending, and quite a few demands of demonstrations from both sides of the coin.

Which proved that at least his abilities of Tracing Noble Phantasms meant that he wasn't completely outclassed. Unless compared to the ones 'standing on the stage of monsters', because those people were so far out of his league that it was so unfunny as to warp back into being kind of funny again – if only in a slightly hysterical sort of way.

Still, Shirou's abilities in the kitchen remained as polished as ever, and he'd somehow been roped into working part-time as a chef in a small but friendly restaurant at the edge of their rural little town, as a result.

Taking care of a four-year-old boy capable of using magic and with an unfortunate tendency for getting into trouble, along with a five-year-old girl who'd just recently lost her mother to petrification, and a fourteen-year-old girl who'd lost most of her family to the same wasn't exactly easy.

Nekane might make it easier for him, working as a sort of quasi-mother for the two children, whilst Shirou tried to give them a stable enough environment for all three of them to heal.

There were traumas, there was guilt, there was mourning, there was sudden responsibility, and there was teaching Nekane how to walk again.

Thankfully, the teenager adapted remarkably fast to what ought to have been a crippling injury, and was up and about after a month. There were quite a few people willing to lend the funds necessary for her treatment, even if they couldn't do anything about treating those who'd been entirely petrified by the attacking demons.

Shirou wasn't sure why everyone were so willing to ignore his lack of records and stick the three children with him, but he guessed that it was something along the lines of 'someone' being there at the time.

They might be pitied for the events that had transpired on that snowy night, but that didn't mean that others were willing to take them into their own families. Rin would've described it as humans being naturally selfish, and Shirou wasn't entirely certain how to go about denying that assumption of hers.

Regardless of how it'd happened, Shirou Emiya became the guardian of Negi and Nekane Springfield, as well as Anya Cocolova, who was another orphan of the attack.

It was hard at first, dealing with two crying children and a crippled teenager, but somehow they'd pulled through.

The headmaster read Negi's name and the nine-year-old visibly took a deep breath before making his way to the front.

It was his graduation ceremony.

Shirou was still a bit out of his depth at the culture-clash between how magic-users of this world acted in comparison to his own world. It was a nice change, to have so many people seemingly dedicating themselves to the ideal of 'helping others', but it still confused him.

Nekane already had a steady job, Anya was... making ends meet, at least, with her fortunetelling, and Shirou was still comfortably employed as a local chef. With Negi now graduating, a lot of things that had become routine would be changing. Much like they'd done when Anya had graduated, or Nekane had started working part-time.

He was proud of them, all three. Even if Anya was a tsundere, and Negi was an idiot, and how Nekane would dote on them both endlessly. They had grown into good people, and he hoped that that would be something that the world would never succeed in taking away from them.

XXX

Shirou continued to read his book, letting Negi have his moment of awe as he stared down through the small window at the white clouds churning below them, without trying to act like an adult.

The kid acted far too old for his body sometimes, and it was nice to see that he could still be a kid.

So Nekane and Anya might've bullied Shirou into following the recently graduated wizard to his current assignment, but he could understand where they were coming from.

Nekane was an adult and so didn't need him to look after her anymore, Anya could still turn to Nekane if something went wrong, and Negi was flying halfway across the world to a foreign country where he would be teaching English classes.

The kid was undoubtedly going to need all the help he could get, even if Takamichi was supposedly part of the faculty.

There was a difference between 'friend of the family' and 'family' after all. No matter how strong the guy happened to be.

It was a long flight, but the book was good, and the seats weren't as cramped as they could've been. Hopefully, that meant that it was a small adventure starting out comfortably, rather than a gigantic one starting out deceptively small.

It should perhaps be noted that Shirou was fairly convinced that his Luck was at best E-Ranked.

XXX

So maybe Negi's backpack was of ridiculous proportions, and maybe Shirou decided to tag along for his meeting with the dean, and maybe the kid was going to be teaching at an all-girl's school, and maybe that meant that Shirou was standing on a train packed full with teenage girls who were obviously curious about who the two of them were and what they were doing there, but that didn't mean the situation wasn't dangerous at a level that nearly compared with facing Gilgamesh.

Which was why he desperately clamped a hand around Negi's mouth when he nearly sneezed.

He'd seen Anya lose her clothes to that blasted sneeze far too many times to allow it to happen to unsuspecting civilians. Especially unsuspecting female civilians. Considering his Luck-stat, that kind of thing was quite likely to lead to his untimely – and both painful and violent – demise.

Whilst the magic of this world had on multiple occasions left him feeling envious, Negi's uncontrollable wind-boosted sneezes, were not among the things that he admired.

Finally the train arrived and the doors opened, leaving the two males to realize just how immense the Mahora Academy truly was.

It was like a city, with people – students most likely – were rushing towards school in a manner more consistent to an avalanche than a group, and above it all loomed a gigantic tree unlike any he'd ever seen.

If Shirou hadn't known that magic-user's in this world had a tendency to rely on civilians' willingness to explain away magic's effects to a degree that the Clock Tower would never have accepted, he would've thought that magic would become common knowledge within the week.

Considering how Negi was an idiotic kid who was going to end up in charge of a class of teenage girls, he'd give magic being revealed to the public about two months.

The only reason that Shirou protected the secrets of magic, was because he didn't want to provoke the Clock Tower needlessly. But in a world where the worst that could happen was for the one revealing it to be turned into an ermine – a punishment that was highly unlikely to ever be leveled against someone who was an adult only by a technicality – Shirou was perfectly willing to take a step back and allow the other magic-users surrounding Negi to imprint on him the importance of secrecy.

Taking a step back was actually how he dealt with most of the three orphans' magic, since him trying to help them understand by explaining to them what he did to get the results, would only get in the way. They used completely different magics after all, so it wasn't surprising that that was something he couldn't help them with.

So in the matter of a combined culture-clash and magic-differences, Shirou simply decided that he wasn't going to get involved with the whole secrecy-thing beyond making sure that he personally wouldn't be labeled guilty for breaking it.

Choking back the mix of a snicker and an exasperated groan as Negi happily shared with a girl some of what he'd learned from Anya about fortunetelling – which in this case happened to be Bad Luck In Love – Shirou turned towards the familiar presence and ignored the afflicted girl threatening Negi with violence. He was an adult now, it was best that he learn to face the consequences of his actions and words early on.

"Ah, Takamichi-san, good morning." Shirou greeted the family friend who was going to become Negi's senpai in teaching.

"Takamichi-san!" Negi greeted too, somehow managing to sound cheerful despite being held in a death-grip by an enraged girl.

"Shirou-san, Negi-kun-... no, it's Negi-sensei now, isn't it?" Takamichi grinned lazily through his cigarette. "You two okay?"

"You wouldn't happen to have a kitchen I could use nearby?" Shirou asked the grizzled man curiously.

Negi made a noise that was somewhere in between laughter and an exasperated groan, whilst Takamichi chuckled.

"You haven't changed at all, Shirou-san." The glasses-wearing teacher commented, amused.

Shirou chuckled back. "I can't afford to get rusty, or a tiger will eat me. In this life or the next."

Because he'd already decided to remain here, to not go jumping between worlds again, even now that Negi was technically an adult. Because he had a family of sorts here, and they'd be sad to see him go, and he didn't mind the thought of growing old in this kind of world.

But he was pretty sure that he was going to need to defend his decision from Taiga, Illya, Rin, Sakura, and maybe even Saber, when he finally passed on, and the best way to deal with all of those girls was to distract them from being angry at him through the use of gloriously tasty food.

XXX

Shirou made a weird noise, not entirely sure if he should laugh or cry at Negi's confession.

"You didn't even last one day?" He asked the small teacher.

Negi made a despairing noise as he nodded.

Shirou wasn't entirely sure what that meant, exactly. From Takamichi's description, Kagurazaka Asuna wasn't the kind of person who'd spread a secret when it would obviously harm someone, so Negi shouldn't have to worry about being turned into an ermine at least.

But for him to have failed so utterly at keeping a secret he'd dedicated himself to keeping – regardless of Shirou's own decision to distance himself from if such laws were of the good or not. It wasn't so much about the actual breaking of the law, as much as it was of Negi's apparent inability to keep magic a secret.

Because if one girl had already found him out on his first day of classes? Then it was really only a matter of time until the whole class would know.

If that annoying Chamo was around, Shirou would bet on the poor kid's secret-keeping crumbling into oblivion within the second week.

Stealing women's panties for the health of his dying sister? Please, even Taiga told better lies than that.

XXX

Takamichi made a thoughtful sound. "Shouldn't you, as his guardian, disapprove of him sharing a room with his students?"

"I don't necessarily approve of it, but this is his test..." Shirou shrugged. "It might end badly, but if he wants to follow the Dean's rules, then that's up to him."

Takamichi chuckled. "You think there's a chance that it won't cause problems?"

Blinking stupidly, Shirou turned to his friend. "Of course it's going to cause problems, but that doesn't mean that it'll end badly."

Takamichi paused in his chuckling to think about that for a long moment, before shaking his head with a small smile. "You're a lot wiser than you make yourself sound."

Shirou decided to ignore the man, and focused instead on making sure that the cooking was done to absolute perfection.

"That's just how life works, Takamichi-san." He argued absently.

XXX

"Is this really okay?" Asuna asked, sounding a little bit worried.

"Don't worry." Negi smiled. "Shirou-nii is really nice."

"He's a total push-over when it comes to doing housework!" Chamo happily chirped in.

"I can still hear you, you know." Shirou commented from the kitchen.

"I-I mean, he likes doing stuff for others! He's a super-good guy! Not a push-over at all!" Chamo hurriedly corrected himself in an attempt to not be exposed to the horrors of the fearsome blood-thirsting shinai.

Turns out, the Torashinai was really useful when it came to dealing with perverts.

Some days, when Shirou considered the implications of his own weakness to the cursed sword, he couldn't help but wonder if that made him a bad person.

"I happen to like cooking." Shirou explained to Asuna, not entirely sure what kind of reaction she might have to such a confession, as – even if he could hear them – he couldn't see her face from the kitchen. "And it's nice to have something you enjoy doing be appreciated by others. So, as long as I'm informed before I start cooking, I don't mind having guests."

"We get bonus points since we also picked up ingredients." Negi helpfully continued the explanation of the various degrees of courtesy, that were present when mooching off his guardian's cooking, to the girl who was new to this.

Shirou wasn't entirely sure why Asuna had been invited to dinner, when he'd heard nothing but praise from Negi about Konoka's cooking, but he suspected that it was most likely related to magic and Negi feeling the need to explain it to the girl in question without anyone else who shouldn't know about magic listening in.

Not that it really mattered. It was always nice to cook for other people, after all.

XXX

It was interesting how often Mahora Academy needed repairs, and usually the one doing these repairs had to be both semi-aware of the oddities of Mahora as well as actually capable of repairing things.

Which was why the Dean had been so very insistent to have Shirou – and his ability to Structural Grasp any complicated object that might have gotten caught in the latest magical escapade – on the Academy's payroll.

Something which never ceased to amuse Takamichi, who would often comment that he was lucky with his own inability to use spells, since he'd never liked fixing things.

It was probably the perfect job for Shirou though.

A steady and sizable income, flexible hours, being allowed to help others, and the ability to watch over Negi from a distance without being close enough to instinctively interfere whenever the kid was in any danger.

And considering just how often the pint-sized teacher got himself into dangerous situations, that was a much-needed distance.

It was best to let Negi fly on his own, because in the end Shirou would never be able to enter the stage of those who Negi had long since decided to surpass. Their magic was simply too different for him to ever stand a chance.

Even if he cheated his ass off.

XXX

Shirou stared in horror at the Dean. "You what?" A near hiss emerged from his suddenly too-tight throat.

The Dean blinked, startled, and looking slightly confused. He was halfway to opening his mouth when Shirou suddenly cut him off.

"Ah, right. Sorry. I forgot for a moment. Our vampires are different." Shirou sheepishly rubbed the back of his head, feeling embarrassed at associating this world's magic to the magic present in his original one.

Takamichi frowned slightly. "That reaction... What are they like in your world?"

Shirou sighed. "It's-... To start off with, there are various levels of vampirism, and many ways of being 'infected' with it." He shook his head. "The lowest level are the Deads who are little more than zombies, followed by the weakest of 'vampires' who are too young to be much of a danger but who were able to retain some semblance of their identity after the infection, with the Dead Apostles who're usually hunted with armies somewhere in the middle... and ending in the Dead Apostle Ancestors, who are pretty much vampire-royalty, and should be avoided at all costs."

He paused, trying to sum it up.

"Bluntly, you only realize that a vampire is in town when you run into the walking half-rotten corpses they use for gathering blood. Generally, this is followed by burning the town to the ground, because by the time you find those corpses in whatever distant village the vampire has decided to infect, they usually make up the entire population of the town."

Takamichi stared at him for a long moment. "Your world is a bleak one, isn't it?"

Shirou shrugged. "It's what I grew up with. I think it's more related to how our magic was never designed to blow up mountains, and so the ones who wanted to destroy things decided to pick a different way of doing so. Which in this case would be 'biological warfare'." He grimaced. "There's a reason that both the Church and the Clock Tower have what amounts to standing armies for dealing with them."

"And you thought for a moment that I'd let something like that run free in my school?" The Dean asked, looking as if he was unsure if he should be indignant or amused.

Shirou chuckled weakly. "Sorry, sir."

The Dean waved his apologies away, and they returned to the original topic. Namely, Negi's latest escapade with three of his students, and the fact that the boy had apparently made a Pactio with Asuna.

All old people enjoy gossiping, after all.

XXX

Shirou shook his head in amazement. The technology of this world was on a completely different level in comparison to the level of his own world.

Even ignoring the robot-girl that was part of Negi's class, the things that were created by the science-club was on a level that he was actually having trouble with understanding the information he gained whenever he Structural Grasped them.

That might not sound particularly impressive, considering that Structural Grasping was considered a 'useless skill' and that most who used it would have trouble getting a proper grasp on the entire workings of an ordinary automobile – let alone one of the newer models with their many fancy extras. But for someone like him, who could easily set up a repair shop for fixing everything from fiddly electronics to jet-planes, the idea that there was technology that lay at least partly out of reach of his skill with Structural Grasping was something to feel impressed by.

He'd seen Noble Phantasm that were far easier to understand than whatever Negi's science-inclined students were working on.

Still, he was stubborn, and it had been far too long since he'd been faced with a challenge in regards to his magecraft that wasn't related to imminent death – the path of a Hero was fraught with peril – so perhaps it shouldn't have been unexpected for him to start a conversation with the gynoid currently serving dishes.

She'd apparently been created by the combined efforts of three of Negi's students. One of them being an ancient vampire with a penchant for dolls, who'd been responsible for providing them with Chachamaru's name.

However, it seemed that Evangeline AK McDowell had no true interest in the concepts of science – beyond videogames – and was more inclined to rely on tried-and-trusted magic for her needs. Which meant that two schoolgirls had – with the help of magic – built an artificial intelligence in possession of true sentience.

Of course he'd been impressed.

Which had sort of led to the situation where he was now studied carefully for the oddity that was his magic. Because Structural Grasping didn't exist here, and the idea of replicating it and exploiting its usefulness to the fullest in regards to their science, was quite enticing to the two resident geniuses.

"Ahh, you've gotten yourself wet again." Hakase complained from where she'd been distracted by the gynoid's entrance, as she studied Chachamaru's joints. "Haven't I told you that it's bad for you?"

Chachamaru remained stoic through what was apparently both a routine inspection and a reoccurring argument from the scientist's side.

Shirou tilted his head from where he was seated in front of his own set of machines – that were supposed to help reveal the mysteries of his magic to them – trying to remember when the mechanical girl could've come in contact with water. "Right, she rescued those cats." He nodded, satisfied with getting an answer to his silent question, and happy to remember that someone was willing to trouble themselves with saving others.

Hakase glanced up, a bit startled to remember that he was also present – she had a tendency to get distracted. "She rescued cats?" She thought on this for a moment, before turning around and looking something up on her computer, muttering something about 'mutating protective protocols'.

Shirou meanwhile also realized that Chachamaru had risked her own health in order to save others, and was caught up thinking about if there was any way to make such future rescues safer for the gynoid in question. After all, hypocritical though it might sound, Shirou didn't like others putting themselves in danger.

Chachamaru – who'd been stripped of her shirt for the examination before she'd realized that the older man was also present in the room – fidgeted uncomfortably as she was ignored completely by the two peculiar humans who were far too caught up in their own personal musings to consider that being shirtless in someone else's presence was a socially uncomfortable thing for a female.

In Shirou's defense, he'd lived through enough dangerous situations around beautiful women that wardrobe-malfunctions and partial nudity were fairly standard for him – to add on top of the fact that he tended to be denser than lead in regards to relationships, and far too old to be even remotely comfortable with ogling teenagers.

In Hakase's defense, she was used to see Chachamaru both half-naked and half-deconstructed, and would easily admit to having sold her soul to science – which didn't leave her with a lot of understanding in regards to insubstantial things such as feelings.

XXX

Negi stared open mouthed at where Shirou was helping Hakase with something electronic that looked complicated beyond words.

Hakase was wearing her usual lab coat, white beyond the stains of varying origin, and Shirou was dressed much like he did whenever he helped out at the mechanic's. But that wasn't the issue.

The issue was that they were flowing around each other as if they'd been working together for years, making whatever project they were actually working on seem more like a dance than an actual science. That, and the fact that they looked... suitable.

Like two pieces of a puzzle fitting together, despite having been separated for so long that it was hard to tell what the image that the puzzle represented was supposed to look like underneath the wear-and-tear of time.

That they suited each other made no sense, because Hakase was weird and super-intelligent and Shirou was nice and kind of dense, but they looked so perfectly at home around each other.

It made Negi feel... a bit jealous, because Shirou had always been with him – ever since that night in the snow – and he wasn't entirely sure how comfortable he was with sharing his adoptive big brother with his new students.

"Emiya-san is a scientist?" Asuna gaped too, a little bit stunned at the concept that the friendly chef and former guardian of Negi was in any way similar to Hakase and her insanity.

Shirou looked up at them, blinking curiously as if only now registering their presence. "I'm not a scientist. I'm just good with repairing things, mostly." He paused. "And I've spent a lot of time around people who research things, so I suppose I've picked up on how to speak 'mad scientist' somewhat fluently."

The two newly entered were then left to stare, as Shirou smoothly slipped back into the strange dance that was as much 'bizarre verbal discussion' as it was actual purposeful movement.

Negi understood many of the words, but was having difficulties following the actual flow of conversation, and didn't really understand why Shirou was bringing up optimal atmospheric temperature for different variations of fully efficient cooling systems. Or what that discussion had to do with hair-styles and the 'freedom to express oneself'.

Asuna could barely recognize a handful of the words, and hurriedly decided to stop listening on the chance that she'd grow dizzy from it all and pass out.

XXX

Shirou made a face as he listened to the dean explaining the situation that he'd sent Negi out into.

He couldn't exactly say that he approved, but then the kid was probably the best one for the job, and it wasn't Shirou's place to interfere.

If he was strong enough to help, then he would've been allowed to argue. If he'd been born into this world to understand what their magic was like, then he would've been allowed to argue. If he'd been a person who didn't think that the mere potential of Saving people was something worth living for, then he would've been allowed to argue.

But Shirou was Shirou, and Shirou was an Emiya.

So he frowned, he briefly considered attempting to use passive-aggressive behavior in order to get back at the wrinkled old man for endangering his young charge, and then he decided that he was going to continue working his hardest. Because helping people was all that he could do.

XXX

Humming softly to himself, Shirou continued to prepare the meal, resolutely ignoring any strange noises that were coming from where Negi had once again arrived with guests.

Konoka – along with a few other members of the diminutive teacher's class – knew of magic now, but apparently Negi thought that Shirou's place was a lot better suited for magic-talk than the dorms. Or maybe he was feeling homesick or something.

In the end, it didn't really matter much.

Shirou greeted them with a smile, happy to be able to cook for new people.

XXX

Shirou shook his head at the insanity that was Mahora's Cultural Festival, feeling distinctly out of his depth at the bizarre sights surrounding him.

Considering some of the things that he'd seen on his journeys, the fact that he was surprised by any of it should've been mindboggling all by itself.

But then, that was perhaps to be expected from the gigantic event.

Now, if only he could figure out why he kept catching glimpses of Negi all over the place, maybe he could stop feeling like the kid was going to get himself into trouble.

XXX

"You're not going to try and stop us?" Chao tilted her head curiously.

Shirou shrugged. "I can see the point of revealing magic to the world, but it's not my place to reveal or not reveal it. My magic is different, the world that I was born to is different, and though I care about many people in this place, it's not my place to argue philosophy without inherently understanding all that is at stake."

Chao stared at him for a long moment. "Even if it means being able to save more people?"

Shirou breathed deeply. "I want to save people. But trying to help you, would mean hurting others. It would mean to choose between who ought to be Saved." He shook his head sadly. "In my original world, I could do that. It was my choice to make how I wished to live my life, how I wished to follow in my father's footsteps and become a Hero. But I cannot stand against the villains of this world, and so I will settle for helping instead of Saving."

"You're just going to give up?" Her scrutinizing gaze slipped into a frown.

For a brief moment, Shirou saw a white-haired man dressed in red, smirking condescendingly at him.

A small movement turned his lips upwards as he turned to meet the girl's eyes. "Rejoice, Chao Lingshen. Your dream will face no opposition from me."

And if he took the briefest flash of vicious pleasure at seeing the girl flinch back from the sudden shift in his eyes, from the realization that the curl of his lips hid something far too dangerous to call a smile, then maybe he'd just grown old enough to appreciate the irony of it all.

He would hold to his Ideal until his final breath and beyond. But he knew how to pick his battles, and this one wasn't for him.

XXX

A/n: The thing about writing this is that Shirou can't fight on the Negimaverse level of awesomeness, that Rakan and co. are far too insanely overpowered for him to touch. And that means that the other side of Shirou comes out to play, namely: the Fake Janitor.

Unable to Save others, this Shirou has no choice but to allow others to Save people in his stead, and instead spends his time acting like a housewife. The fact that he's in charge of raising Negi... well, that gives him some insight into the plot, but he can't really help anyone with anything resembling magic (since his magic is so different from theirs).

I understand that this was the reason why Hero Slayer's musings on the subject have Shirou take Negi with him on his journeys across the multiverse, instead of settling down in the Negimaverse. And I've now reached the point where I simply can't write anymore of it without feeling like I'd be bending Shirou's character into an unrecognizable mess.