I'm so grateful for all the reviews, favorites, and follows I'm getting for this story. It means a lot! Anyway, here's chapter four!

Disclaimer: I do not own The Walking Dead.

Diary of the Dead Days

Part 1: Atlanta

Chapter Four
Friendship

My breathing was ragged and my heart was beating fast, pure terror taking over and causing my mind go blank. Merle's hand rubbed against my cheek, it felt callous and rough. My eyes were shut tight as I wasn't able to look him in the face. My nostrils were beginning to burn as the reek of the liquor was starting to overwhelm my senses and tears formed underneath my shut eyes. I would have much rather been faced with a walker than this.

"Hey!" A voice hollered from the distance, "Hey!"

I couldn't exactly tell who it was, but as I opened my eyes, I saw Shane racing towards me. He was shirtless for some reason and had Lori following him closely behind, her blouse unbuttoned much more than usual. My mind was so clouded, I couldn't understand what those two were obviously doing outside of camp so late alone, but I didn't care. Help was help.

Merle released his grip, yelling obscenities towards the former police officer for ruining his 'good time'. I took the opportunity to make a break for it and check on Ripley, he wasn't injured but just shocked by the abuse from a human. Though his barks that were cut short, it was able to attract the attention of the couple near by. I embraced his neck tightly as Lori placed a hand my shoulder, and I felt her hands check my face and body for any harm. Lori sighed in relief, knowing they had came at the right time. Shane pointed his pistol towards Merle, who was probably beginning to threaten him out of drunken stupor.

"Whatever." I heard Merle growl, lifting his hands up, "Whatever!"

"You better stay away from her, ya hear?" Shane snapped, his gun still pointed at the drunk man.

"Whatever." He repeated. The empty bottle of booze was carelessly thrown to the ground and left there. Merle's stance was becoming more unstable, but he didn't make a move towards the cop.

I didn't stay to see how the scene unfolded, I didn't much care. Lori tried comforting me, but her words feel on deaf ears. All I wanted to do was lock myself in my van and cry while holding Ripley. The closeness of that situation shocked me to my core. The thought of what could have happened made me internally cringe. Most would resist, fight back with all their might while I just stood there, taking it like a wimp. I was pathetic. Is that what I'm going to do when I'm surrounded by walkers? Just stand there and take it? Not even attempt to fight for my life?

Once Lori and I made our way into camp, I heard Amy greet me with a friendly "hello", but I ignored her and continued to my van. I heard Lori's voice trying to make an excuse for me, saying I wasn't feeling well. That was an understatement. I locked all my doors, hoping Rose wouldn't come running after me to question my situation like she always did. I punched the steering wheel, barely missing the horn. I was disgusted with myself. If Shane and Lori hadn't been close by, would that have been my first time? Unwillingly with a man about the age of my father who was drunk while the dead where walking? That would have been nothing like I imagined it.

I had my share of a few boyfriends, two in middle school, when I tried to be social, and one in the beginning of high school. None of those relationships got passed kissing, but then again, the relationship in general didn't last long. I wasn't that into boys as I thought I was, all those romantic novels raised my standards to insane expectations and I ended up constantly let down. All of them ending by the fourth week by me. Thinking back, I regret that now. I would have gladly have any of them as my first than have Merle Dixon. Now since the crisis had hit, finding a boyfriend was more hopeless than before. That should have been my last concern. All I should care about now was only survival and protecting Rose and Ripley, though I couldn't help but feel like I had missed a major part of my life and regret lodged itself into my conscious.

My thoughts kept me busy from hearing the noises from outside my van. Shane and Merle had returned and the redneck still seemed to be in a drunken uproar. I heard Rose's footsteps as she reached the side of my window and peeked in. Her small knuckles knocked against the glass, requesting entrance like she use to do when I would lock myself in my room. I wanted to ignore her, but I unlocked the doors anyway.

"What's wrong? What happened?" Her voice was filled with worry and concern, maybe even a little panic. Even if I truthfully explained the situation, Rose wouldn't understand it. She never received the talk from our parents. I didn't either, but I learned my way through books and school, so my parents never talked to me about it.

"Merle tried eating Ripley." I lied, which was becoming a popular trend for me. It felt like every word I spoke to my little sister was a lie, I use to never lie to her. Whenever she had questioned me about our parents saying our first dog ran away, I told her the truth that he had died. She cried for days, but she learned how to cope with the feelings of death.

"No!" She yelled, face starting to turn red with anger, "I knew we couldn't trust him."

I forced myself to chuckle and tried reassuring her that it wouldn't happen again because Ripley taught him a lesson. She crawled into the van, getting ready for bed in the back seat while I remained in the front. I couldn't sleep, I kept thinking Merle would come back, but he didn't. However, when sleep finally hit, it had hit hard.

For the second day in a row, I was rudely awoke by the harsh knocking on my window. I groaned, feeling utterly exhausted. I gazed out my passenger side window to see Merle's younger brother glaring at me with hostility. I really couldn't tell if he was upset that I was late again or that I got his no good brother in trouble. Either way, I wasn't looking forward to his visit.

"What the hell?" He snapped as I sluggishly got of the van, "I was waitin' on you again. I'm startin' to wonder if you even want these damn lessons you asked for."

"Actually about that," I started, my voice becoming shaky, "I don't want you teaching me anymore."

"Are you serious." He sneered, "You're the one that asked me and its only been one day. I didn't want to teach a dumb shit like you, but I thought I'd be nice for once."

His menacing gaze scared me, but I wasn't backing down. After what happened the night before, I didn't want to look at Daryl either. They both were dangerous, and I didn't want to be alone outside of camp with Daryl. I thought having Ripley with me would keep me safe, but the poor dog had been silenced by a kick. Ripley was trained not to bite, so he wouldn't harm the cattle or my sister and me, so if Daryl had decided to attack me as well, Ripley would be at a loss. Taking lessons from him seemed to be too much of a risk.

"I'm sorry," I apologized but it didn't sound the least bit sincere, "I can learn on my own."

"No, you can't, you don't even know what the hell you're doing." Daryl growled, but then paused for a moment. This was the closest he ever been to my face, during all the other times he had kept a distance. His dark, blue eyes turned from annoyed to bearing resentment, "This is about my brother, isn't it?"

I wonder if the entire camp knew what had went down near the quarry, but Daryl probably received the knowledge from his brother. I could imagine them both laughing at me, laughing at how I was just going to let it happen, and how horrible of a shot I was. Imagining that scenario lit a fire in my belly, his presence suddenly angered me as my hate for Daryl grew in an instant. I honestly did want to learn how to shoot my bow, and Daryl seemed like the perfect teacher, but I could no longer bear the thought at looking at either of the Dixon brothers.

"Whatever, to hell with you." Daryl growled, taking my silence as an obvious yes, waving me off hatefully as he turned his back and headed for the woods.

My body was shaking with rage mixed in with regret. I had started to get use to his snarky comments, even finding the mild humor in them, and was looking forward to my next lesson before Merle went after me. I sighed with frustration, kicking the dirt underneath my sneakers. But, I knew I had to change the way I acted if I was going to survive in this hellish world. I needed to grow a backbone and not simply give in, and it started with learning how to shoot on my own.

Amy was in a fuss once I found her, she was worried about her sister. The group for Atlanta had left while I was sleeping. Glenn took Andrea, Jacqui, Merle, Morales, and T-Dog. I wasn't familiar with Morales and T-Dog but judging by the absent of faces within the camp, I noticed the hispanic and the hefty black guy was gone. When I heard Amy telling me that Merle had gone, I felt relieved. There was some guilt behind that relief, thinking what if the man actually died, but I kept that thought out of my head.

Rose was already with the other children, sharing the small amount of toys I allowed her to bring along with Sophia. Carl was obviously not as interested in playing with the dolls as the girls were, but he tried his best to cope with the toys Rose had shared. I couldn't help but smile at Rose. She use to be brat before all this mess happened. I remembered her first day of kindergarten, Rose was sent home early because she scratched and slapped other kids for playing with her toys and refused to share. She was also known to hit me a couple of times for touching her stuff, even when she was in the fourth grade.

I didn't praise her for her good behavior though, if Rose realized what she was doing, she'd surely turn sour again. I checked in with Lori, asking her if there was anything I could help with. She seemed like the one in charged of most of the cleaning duties, so that's why I turned to her. However, the way she acted with false authority and control of the other women's chores kind of irked me, but I kept a friendly face and kept my thoughts to myself.

"No, since we have all the clothes done for now. We can relax for a little bit." Lori smiled, but her voice was awkward. I couldn't tell if she was fully telling the truth or if she was giving me some slack because of what happened the other night. Either way, I didn't mind the extra time.

I was considering going off and training by myself, but I noticed Amy was quite distraught. I couldn't think of any words to say to comfort her and trying to tell her that her sister would come back safe seemed like it would just annoy her, so I thought I'd keep her busy. Once I pulled the bow out of my trunk, I approached her, her blue eyes gave me a very questionable look.

"When did you get that?" She inquired curiously, she appeared to be more interested than I was expecting.

"It was a present from my mom." I told her with a boast of pride, "You want to go shoot it with me?"

She hesitated for a moment, looking around nervously like she was worried her sister would be back at any second, and she wanted to be there when she returned. However, she smiled at me and agreed, accompanying me in the woods where my target was placed. She laughed at my picture of the walker, and I laughed with her, knowing my talent wasn't with drawing. I helped her with properly handling the bow, letting her to try her hand at shooting the target. Ripley was already with us, standing by as he waited to retrieve the arrows.

"When I was eight, my dad bought me my first fishing pole." Amy said as she released the drawstring, missing the target. She didn't pull it back correctly, using all her fingers instead of just her index and middle finger, but I didn't correct her, "He taught me how to fish the moment I was old enough."

"My mom wanted to teach me how shoot a bow, but it didn't happen." I felt awkward telling her this, but after hearing her tell me about herself, it seemed necessary to tell her more about me. Though, I was glad for the opportunity to open up to Amy.

"Why not?" She handed me the bow. My turn was next.

"I was being stubborn and stupid." I sighed, trying to aim it as best as I could with hopes of impressing her, but the arrow zoomed past the target, " I regret it now."

"What really happened to your parents?" The question caught me off guard, I didn't know that Amy was so forward. I was silent, my emotions fighting each other, I was trying my hardest not to break down like I did in front of Daryl. I cleared my throat before speaking.

"They killed themselves."

Our blue eyes meet, mine filled with sorrow and hers filled with empathy. She took a small step forward, like she was about to hug me or place a comforting hand on my shoulder, but she stopped. I had heard her and her sister talk about their parents. They had been out of town during the crisis, so there was some hope for them but not for me. In the back of my head, I had fantasies of them not choosing death and ending up finding a safe place, but the chances of that being reality were slim.

"I'm sorry, I didn't know." Amy apologized, but I tried putting on a smile. I wasn't going to cry.

"Don't say anything to Rose, she's not ready for this news."

"Yeah." She muttered, but I could tell she was torn about this news, "Does anyone else know?"

"No." I shook my head. It didn't say anything about Daryl knowing my situation as I didn't want to explain what had happened between us, knowing not too long ago she had warned me about both Dixon brothers. Though I planned on saving that conversation for later, hoping to get another chance to open up to Amy.

"I won't say anything, I promise." Her smile and concerned voice had comfort me, knowing I could trust her and I was glad I was able to finally tell someone the truth. I handed her my bow, giving her another chance at shooting the target.

When we returned to camp, the group hadn't came back yet and Amy became more panicked about her sister. I had tried to keep her busy as long as I could, we ended up shooting the bow some more, but it felt extremely awkward after our conversation and it had started raining, so we ended up going back. My aim wasn't improving and now I was very much regretting stopping my lessons with Daryl. I didn't see him when Amy and I returned and Shane said something about him going on a hunting trip. The former officer questioned why I was concerned, but I shrugged it off.

I was helping Lori and Carol with preparing tonight's dinner, which was more canned food. Rose was playing with Ripley, mentioning she had fun with Glenn yesterday. I wasn't sure how long a trip to gather supplies in Atlanta took but time seemed to drag on, and I began to worry.

"They should be back by now." Amy complained, her pacing back and forth started to make me dizzy as I watched her.

"I'm sure they are fine." Shane reassured her but after he spoke, the echoes of a car alarm sounded throughout the mountains. It's noise was high-pitched and loud, and a red sports car drove recklessly up the trail with a box truck catching up with it.

They were finally back.

Chapter five will probably appear some time after thanksgiving but I'll try to update as soon as I can, thanks for reading!