I'm really sorry for the long wait. There's a couple of reasons, I was really busy over winterbreak, my birthday was the 29th (I turned 19!) and then eventually spring semester started. I'm taking wonderfully complicated class of computer programming and logic, database, and precalculus, so the first week I was kind of overwhelmed! Anyway, that's why I haven't been writing much, but I hope you enjoy this chapter!

Disclaimer: I do not own The Walking Dead.

Diary of the Dead Days

Part 2: Hershel's Farm

Chapter Nine
Shame and Doubt

Our caravan traveled until nightfall, parking our vehicles in the middle of a desolated highway. Since Shane's jeep and Daryl's motorcycle weren't the most suitable to sleep in, I offered part of my van because the RV was already packed full. The mini van was able to lay down the back seats, creating more room. It was still cramped and it would look quite awkward for two grown men to sleep so close together, not to mention they didn't particularly like each other. So, in the end, it was Ripley and me sleeping in the back while Daryl and Shane took the driver and passenger seats, mainly looking guard.

I needed the rest, but I didn't want to sleep. I started writing on the next page in my diary, half keeping track of my thoughts and half talking to my mom. It was hard to write in the dark, but I managed. I mostly wrote about the events that had occurred. Telling my mom about how I was finally learning archery, and I even mentioned Amy and my short-lived friendship with her. I missed Amy very much but it was nothing compared to how Andrea must be feeling. I even awkwardly wrote about what happened with Merle, how he tried going after me and how the group left him behind. As well as the cruel things I said to Daryl and the fact I still needed to apologize to him.

I don't know how long I spent writing, but I wrote until my eyes were heavy and I could no longer hold them open. I stashed my diary away in a safe place and let sleep take over.

"Wake up." My former alarm clock smacked my cheek lightly with his back hand. Daryl didn't hit me hard, but there was enough force to jolt me awake, "We're headin' out."

After restoring my seats to their proper position, and Daryl and Shane returning to their own vehicles, we headed down the highway. Though our journey was short-lived, in front of us a large group of abandoned cars was blocking the road ahead. My gas gauge was dangerously low, and none of us had enough fuel to take another route. Daryl's motorcycle easily slipped past the barricade. Dale tried to snake his RV around the cars, but there was a strange, popping noise and suddenly smoke was rising from the hood.

"It's the radiator hose," Dale confirmed after investigating the engine.

We all had exited our cars, unsure of what to do next. I glanced towards Rose, she was talking with Sophia. She appeared better than she had been yesterday, however, she refused to make eye contact with me. I frowned, shrugging off her hatred. Ripley explored the area, sniffing around, though I would call his name when he would wandered too far.

Glenn and Shane decided to search the numerous car for a radiator hose to replace the one for the RV. Others thought now was the best time to scavenge for more supplies. I noticed Lori appeared conflicted about the situation.

"This place is a graveyard." Everyone seemed mildly distraught by Lori's words, but we needed supplies.

I wasn't quite comfortable with Ripley wandering around on his own, especially since the CDC where I almost risked my life to save him. I dragged out his old leash that I had packed away, keeping the German Shepard close to me. Ripley was mostly concerned with the various amounts of smells awaiting him, stopping at every car and sniffing it. Dale took his post on top of the RV, scanning the area for any trouble that may come our way. He waved at me once he realized I was gazing towards his direction, I returned the gesture. Andrea became anti-social, remaining in the RV and messing with her pistol.

As Ripley continued his journey through the maze of cars, we ended up meeting with Lori and Carol's group. The kids were happy to see Ripley, Sophia petted him between the ears and Carl rubbed his back. Rose kept her distance from me but joined in with saying hello to the dog. However, Ripley's ears suddenly perked and his nose went straight in the air. A devilish growl rumbling from his throat.

"Walkers!" Dale alerted everyone, immediately dropping down to conceal himself.

Everyone around us scrambled underneath the abandoned cars. I shoved Ripley under first and somehow managed to cramp myself between him and the bottom of the car. I felt the metal from the vehicle scratching my back, but I ignored the pain. I pressed my body as hard as I could on to Ripley, making sure he wouldn't move and then I clamped my hands over his muzzle.

Looking around, I felt relief that everyone was safe and out of sight. Carol and Lori slipped under a car together as well as Rose and Sophia, Carl hide under a car adjacent from them. Rick was close by too. My little sister held on to her friend's hand tightly, fearful of the feet that dragged by. I couldn't count how many walkers passed, there were so many that is was almost like a gigantic herd of cattle passing by. My dog wiggled underneath me, but I kept a firm grip on him.

It felt like hours until the herd passed, and I looked again at Rose and Sophia to make sure they were alright. They smiled at each other, however, their relief didn't last long. A strangler was walking by, it hesitated right at the car where the two girls were hiding underneath. It somehow sensed their presence, lowing itself and it tried grabbing for Sophia and Rose.

"Lily!" I heard Rose's voice screech in terror.

No! My heart skipped at beat as they both screamed and scrambled out from under the car. I couldn't see where they raced off too, but the walker wasn't letting them off that easily. Ripley moved more violently as he seen Rose get chased, but I held on to him. I bit my bottom lip as hard as I could, forcing myself not to go after my sister. Rick had already gone after them, I would just end up in the way.

"Where's my sister?" My words came out more in a hiss, I didn't intend for so much hostility but it just came out that way.

Rick returned not long after he killed two walkers. He had ordered for both Rose and Sophia to stay hidden near the creek, and that he would be back for them. However, once he returned where he left them, they were no longer there. Daryl assembled a group to go back and track their footprints. At first, it was just Rick, Glenn, and Shane, but I volunteer myself to go. I left Ripley behind with Carl and Lori.

"I told them to stay here. They must have gotten scared and ran off." Rick tried explaining to me once again.

I thought the lost of my sister would have caused me more sorrow and pain, no, I was angry and seeing red. My heart pounded furiously, though, I knew she was still alive and that we just need to find her quickly before anything else does. While hiding underneath the car, waiting for Rick to save Sophia and Rose, I was biting my lip the entire time. I had applied so much pressure, I bit through the skin and now my bottom lip was a dried, bloody mess.

"You three," Rick points towards Shane, Glenn, and me, "Go back to the highway and make sure everyone is calm while Daryl and I look for Sophia and Rose."

I scowled at the police officer, but kept my mouth shut and followed his orders. I wanted to help with the search, though, my attitude probably wasn't helping. Shane took the lead, while Glenn and I lingered behind him.

"I'm sorry about your sister." Glenn said to me.

"It's fine, we'll find them soon." I reassured myself, thinking only of the positive outcome. Sophia and Rose had only been missing for less than ten minutes, they couldn't have gotten far. If Daryl could track the same deer for two days straight, he could surely find two girls before the sun goes down.

"Is your lip okay?" He inquired, voicing his concern.

"Yeah." I touched my lip, it felt wet as the wound hadn't fully scabbed over yet, "I must have scrapped it on the pavement."

It didn't take us long to reach our temporary campsite. I felt like I wanted to say more to Glenn, but my mind went blank with things to say. The only one who seemed distraught about the whole scenario was Carol, tears streaming down her face as she pleaded with the others about searching for her daughter. Shane and Andrea immediately started clearing a path so the RV could fit through. Glenn was helping patch up T-Dog, who got injured while the herd passed. He wasn't bitten, thankfully, he only suffered a nasty scratch from one of the cars.

"What are we doing? We need to search for my daughter and Rose." Carol pleaded to no one in particular as she sobbed.

"We won't leave them behind." Lori reassured her.

"Rick and Daryl are looking for them now." I mentioned to Carol, who nodded slowly. She had calmed down a little, but she still looked pitiful.

I sighed, feeling awkward as I stepped closer to Carol. She hadn't expected me to hug her, she was shocked when I wrapped my arms around her shoulders but returned the gesture. I wasn't much of a "hugger", I rarely even hugged my own mom, but I didn't know how else to comfort Carol who was in the same situation as me. Soon enough, she hugged me tighter and buried her face in my shoulder, crying. I felt my own tears sting my cheeks as I rubbed her back softly.

The sun was starting to set when Daryl and Rick returned. No Rose or Sophia in sight.

"We have to keep looking!" I snapped, narrowing my eyes with anger and disappointment, "They can't stay out in the woods alone, especially at night!"

"Sophia is only twelve and Rose is even younger." Carol echoed my concern, though her voice was laced with less hostility than mine.

"We'll resume the search first thing in the morning, I promise." Rick said.

"There's no use looking in the dark, we wouldn't be able to find anything." Daryl added in. Their words silenced Carol. I wanted to argue, but I knew it was no use. I sighed, nodding in agreement to postpone the search until the morning.

The only reason I had risen early that morning was because I couldn't sleep. I didn't write in my diary, I felt ashamed about telling my mother that I had let Rose slip away. If Rose hadn't been angry with me for lying, she wouldn't have been with Sophia under the car and instead been with me. Everything was my fault.

Yesterday, Carl had found extra weapons in one of the vehicles, and everyone was now armed. I already had mine own, I chose the fire ax that I brought from home. The blade was dull, but with enough force it could get the job done. I brought Ripley along with me as well, using his leash once more. Ripley was only a herding dog, never once had he been used to search for someone but I thought I'd give his nose a shot. Carl begged his father to come along with the search party, Rick hesitated at first but allowed him to go because of his concern for his friends.

Daryl led our group, his expertise in tracking were coming quite handy. Rick and Shane brought up the rear while the rest of us was grouped together in the middle. Ripley's nose was sniffing the ground intensely, though I doubt he found Rose or Sophia's scent and was probably occupied with the smells of the woods.

"Look at that." Carl pointed out a small tent that was in the middle of a clearing, "They could be in there."

There was a place for a campfire, ashes scattered about and cans littered the ground, Ripley sniffing each one in curiosity. A putrid scent lingered around the small campsite, I couldn't tell if something was rotting nearby or if that was just how the world smelt now. Daryl had his hunting knife ready, standing near the tent. Rick stepped forward, eying it suspiciously.

"Call out their names, if they are in there, they would want to hear your voices first." Rick whispered.

I doubt if Rose wanted to hear my voice, but Carol and I did as he said and softly called out their names. There was no sign of movement within the tent, so Daryl bent forward and carefully unzipped the entrance. The putrid smell of rotting flesh intensified, causing Carol to gag beside me. The dead body inside the tent wasn't moving, thankfully. Daryl pulled out a pistol.

"Must've opted out." He rolled his eyes, but realized what he had said. He glanced towards me, seeing me grimace a little. Now every time I imagine someone opting out, I automatically remember my parent's lifeless bodies.

"They haven't been here," Daryl changed the subject, keeping the gun for himself, "We need to keep looking."

Just as we were about to head out, the silence of the forest was broken by the loud ringing of church bells. The sudden noise caused Ripley to let out a bark, he tried to race towards the sound but my grip held him back. I felt a rush of hope, thinking that Rose and Sophia may have found a church and was ringing the bells to let us know they were okay. Shane motioned us onward, running towards the noise.

We weren't a far distance from the desolated, small church. My heart dropped once I realized it lack a steeple, the bells were set on a timer located outside of the building. We managed to shut it off quickly, investigating the interior of the church to find three walkers inside. Rick, Glenn, and Daryl took care of them easily. I had felt my hand grip the handle of my axe tighter, Rose and Sophia were nowhere to be found. I wanted to keep looking, every second we spent inside the church was a second we wasted not looking for my sister. However, the majority of the group wanted to stay, especially Carol. Her eyes were downcast, her muttering words speaking to the statue of God before her.

Rose and I were raised in a Christian home, we were taught to be respectful, especially in church. The curses I kept muttering under my breath would have anger my mother greatly. Then I felt remorseful, realizing she was probably looking down at me with not only shame, but now disgust. I should have prayed with Carol, begged for Rose and Sophia's safe return, but I didn't want to stay inside. I felt like I was being constantly watched. I let Carl hold Ripley's leash, the German Shepherd obediently sat at the boy's side.

"Goddamit." I hissed, kicking at the dirt with my boots. I placed my hand against the oak tree in front of the church, leaning over to stare at the ground.

I felt utterly helpless, and my hope of God not being cruel and letting my sister live was slowly diminishing. He was cruel enough to let such a horrible thing happen to this world, why would he save two little girls? I sighed in frustration as I felt conflicted, I knew my mother would have been angry with me if she knew I was doubting God. Though with each passing day, my faith was growing thinner and thinner.

"C'mon," I heard Daryl's voice from behind me, in his hand was Ripley's leash with the dog trailing behind him, "We're splitting up the search party, to cover more ground. Shane, Rick, and Carl are heading south while the rest of us cover the north."

I hesitated before I grabbed Ripley's leash, "Do you think we're going to find them?"

"I know we're gonna to find them." Daryl's voice laced with anger, his eyes glaring at me for being so negative.

I nodded, forcing myself to smile and trying to rid myself of doubt.

We will find them no matter what.

It might be another wait for the next chapter, hopefully not as long! Hope you guys enjoyed it! Please leave me a review, those usually get me inspired to write, lol. Thanks for reading.