Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha. I wish I did but I do not. However, any OOC that is brought into this story belongs to me.
Author's Note: Hello everyone! I am back with another chapter. I feel really bad about not posting any chapters in a year. A lot of things were happening in my life. Family issues and what not. I am back for as long as possible. It seems my life is a bowl of random. I decided to make this chapter super long as a peace offering. :D
Flashbacks will be in bold italics. Thoughts will be in italics.
If you choose to flame me, BRING IT ON, but I would prefer constructive criticism. Thank you for all the reviews. It is wonderful to know that people are really digging the story.
Anyway, sit back and enjoy the next chapter of Regaining Time Lost.
Chapter 11: Mending Implications
Koga watched Ayame sleeping in the furs that he had specifically made for her for their wedding night. He remembered that night fondly. It was a few months after Naraku's defeat. His encounter with Naraku, Inuyasha and his pack, made him want to have a family of his own. He could not believe that he was so absorbed in Kagome that he had not realized that what exactly he needed was the young, female wolf following him around. However, Ayame was not keen on becoming Koga's mate after everything that had happened. She definitely made him work for her. The ends that he went to, to have her showed him and her how much he did love and care about Ayame. Even after everything, Koga could not help but feel some bitterness that he was not able to openly express how he felt about Kagome. With the death of Kikyo and Kagome's reaction, Koga understood that Kagome's heart belonged to Inuyasha, but he did feel that Inuyasha did not deserve her. But everything worked out as it should be. Kagome would have never survived his pack. In the past two days, Ayame fought valiantly to hold her place as Alpha with him. Koga never realized how ruthless and vicious females could be, but they had no other choice. After the war with the spider youkai, to regain their numbers, to keep the pack thriving, only the strong needed to remain.
Ayame was not strong anymore. She was tired, more tired than she let on. The war took its toll on her. It took a toll on both of them more so mentally than anything. They both lost something precious to them that could never be returned and now Ayame's life was being threatened again. The ugly wound on her leg from her previous encounter with her packmates was an ugly reminder of how his kind removed weakness from the bloodlines. It made him come to the conclusion that they could not stay with the pack. The utter turmoil within the pack that he caused would kill her. Ayame was stubborn and too proud to submit. She would fight to her very last breath and then he would follow her into the after life. Koga would not, refused to mate with another for the sake of the pack. All his life he sacrificed for the sake of pack. This time he would sacrifice for the sake of family.
Koga loved Ayame. He would not allow his actions to harm her ever again. With his mind set and when night fell, Koga carried Ayame away wrapped in her furs. He was surprised that no one had followed or perhaps no one cared. It did not matter. He was relinquishing his title of Alpha. There was no threat to his pack. He could be selfish for once. Koga could start over. As long as he had Ayame, he could.
"Koga," Ayame groaned as she woke from her sleep, "where…where are we?"
"Somewhere safe," Koga replied.
"Somewhere safe?" Ayame questioned. Safe was not entirely what she was feeling. She felt safe because Koga was near her, but she was on alert. Her senses were well attune to everything going around them. If she was back with the pack, in their den, she would have slept through the whole night which meant they were not home. "What are we doing here Koga?"
"We are leaving," Koga answered.
"What do you mean leaving? Why is the pack not with us?" Ayame asked.
Koga had hoped that Ayame would have slept through the night. He hoped she would wake at dawn when they were far away from their old home, but it seemed that he could not do this the way he wanted. "We are leaving the pack."
"We can not leave. Our pack is fragile, weak. They need us," Ayame said in shock as she sat up.
"The pack does not need us. The pack will be fine without us. We need to worry about our safety and look towards our future," Koga responded.
"Have you lost your mind? This is not the way of our people. If we leave now, we will lose what we have fought for!" Ayame said.
"It is already lost!" Koga yelled which caused Ayame to fall silent for a moment. It was true even though Ayame would never admit it aloud. When he chose not to fight the Inu brothers, Koga willingly jeopardized his position as Alpha and then was completely destroyed when he did not accept Sesshomaru-sama's challenge. Logic, for the most part, was not the way of the ookami. The ookami were ruled by honor and pride even if it meant death. Koga was not ready to die yet nor was he ready to doom his whole pack over his petty pride.
"Do you expect me to run from my position will my tail tucked? I can't and neither can you," Ayame stated.
"They will kill us. That is our way. If we did manage to get away, our injuries would be the death of us if we are not consumed by some lowly, demon. Do you not understand why I am doing this? I do not want to lose you, Ayame. I almost once and I will not risk it again," Koga said firmly.
"But Koga, we…"
A loud explosion far off in the distance ended Ayame and Koga's conversation. The after wave caused Ayame to tumble backwards into Koga, who caught her and held her gently. The powerful aura coming from the explosion was causing the hair on the back of his neck to rise and his skin crawl. Bright red lit up the sky from flames in the direction of their abandoned pack resided.
"Our home!" Ayame exclaimed. She pried herself from Koga and took off running with Koga following. Even with her wounded leg, she outran him much to his chargrin. It did not matter. His mind was focused on what was happening. Had Sesshomaru come back to finish the job? No, he would not go back on his word and the aura was wrong. It was wrong in every way, but familiar, too familiar. A rank scent reached his nose and realization dawned on him. He and Ayame were able to see the clearing that was the entrance to their pack ablaze. Before Ayame got any closer, Koga managed to tackle her and drag her backwards behind a boulder.
"What are you doing?! We have to help them!" Ayame exclaimed as she struggled against Koga.
"No! Do you not smell them?" Koga stated. Ayame took a deep inhale and choked. Her eyes grew wide as she stared at Koga in disbelief. "It's spiders. It took five of us to kill just one. We can't help them."
"We have to try! The children, they'll…" Ayame cried. She stopped fighting Koga and cried into his chest knowing there was nothing she could do. Ayame wished that their deaths would be quick but she knew a quick death would not come for them. The spider youkai enjoyed their prey reeking of pain and fear while being eaten alive slowly. "How, how could they still exist? We killed them all, didn't we?"
"I don't know," Koga said, "Come on. We have to go." He turned his back to Ayame to allow her to climb on his back. Once she did, he prepared to run when he heard someone calling their names.
"Koga-san, Ayame-san, don't go without us!" Ginta yelled. He was relieved that they had found them. Hakkaku had overheard a few of their pack mates plotting to kill Ayame and Koga. He and Ginta decided that they would gather loyal pack mates, inform their Alphas and leave the pack for good in the dead of night. When they came to their den, they had already gone and decided to leave as well. If they had a remained a few minutes more, they would have been a part of the massacre.
"Thank goodness," Ayame said. I can leave this place knowing that some of our kin survived. Ayame looked at Koga. His body stiffened in anger, but his eyes held another emotion that she could not put her finger on. Koga turned to the remaining loyal pack he had and said, "Come! Let us flee before they see us." Ayame led the rest of the wolves away but Koga remained for a second as he stared at the place he once called him. The screams of pain from his brethren made him want to vomit. He fought every instinct to avenge them, but mentally he felt relief and Koga did not understand why he felt this way. Koga, finally, turned to follow Ayame's lead away from the bloody ruins of their once beautiful home.
Kagome watched her daughter walk slowly in front of she, Sango and Kirara. Only two days had passed since the death of Kaede-sama. Everyone was still mourning in one way or another. Inuyasha mourned openly for the first day, buried his feelings deep down like he usually did and forgave Inuamaya. Inuamaya stayed sullen. She refused to eat and night terror plagued her. Kagome feared her daughter was having a break down. She felt useless while watching her daughter go through mental hell. Nothing she could say or do would alleviate her pain.
"Give her time Kagome. The wound is still fresh and she still needs time to mourn. She may act like Inuyasha but she is female after all," Sango said. She was also worried about Inuamaya. So much had happened in a few days. It was taking the young girl to adjust. With her looking more like a woman with womanly issues to follow and her thinking the blood of Kaede-sama was on her hands, it was a wonder that Inuamaya had not gone crazy yet.
"I should not have slapped her," Kagome replied.
"You did what was necessary to protect your kitten. Never doubt your actions, Kagome-san," Kirara stated, "She blames no one but herself."
"I know but I still feel bad," Kagome said. She took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. She would not stay down. For the sake of her daughter, Kagome would stay positive in order to make sure she could bring Inuamaya out of her depression. "We need to do something for her. We need to get her out of her sadness."
"I will speak with her. I understand the pain she is feeling," Kirara responded.
"I was meaning to ask you this Kirara. How did you become like this? Kohaku never talked about you being in this form," Sango said.
"Kohaku-chan never saw this form. This is my first time seeing this form as well," Kirara explained, "I was wounded years ago and the wound kept me from transforming."
"You are healed now, obviously, but how?" Kagome asked.
"Lady Midoriko came to me," Kirara replied, "She healed me as penitence of the wound that she gave me but I never blamed her for it. If she had not done it, I would not be here. I would have not met any of you and would not have had this life that I had wished for many years."
"The male with you is he your…"
"No," Kirara said quickly, cutting Sango off, "He is the brother of my deceased mate. He wishes to claim me and bring me to his parents."
"Oh wow! Well, that's scandalous. What are you going to do? Are you?" Kagome asked.
"Scandalous, indeed. I do not know. You all are my family. I do not wish to be separated, but I will make my decision after our business is done whenever that is," Kirara replied.
Sango nodded. She remained silent as Kagome questioned Kirara about what all she was capable of. It was exciting that she could now speak with her best friend, but she wondered if Kirara would leave. Kirara had been with her for so long. She knew when she was with Kohaku that Kirara would return, but now Kirara could and would do anything. It made her nervous to think of that possibility.
"Sango-san, are you okay?" Kagome asked noticing her friend's quietness.
"Yes, I am fine," Sango answered and looked at Kirara, who was walking to close the distance between she and Inuamaya.
Shippo wiped the sweat from his forehead as he stopped to take a drink from a river. He and Inuyasha had traveled ahead of the group to scout for danger as well as food. The damn cat and Miroku and Kohaku stayed with the rest at the campsite. Shippo thought this would have been the time for he and Inuyasha to talk, but Inuyasha went in an opposite direction. They were to meet up at the river at dusk. Shippo was the first to arrive. He only managed to catch a few rabbits and would catch a few fish just in case Inuyasha had the same luck as he which he doubted. They both were hell bent on making sure the pack was fed and safe. With their combined efforts, they would make it happen. However, Inuyasha was no longer relying on Shippo. Inuyasha was still upset with him over his bold challenge of his authority in front of the pack. Just thinking about it made Shippo want to slink off in shame. He should not have done it but he was angry, frustrated, but more than anything scared. Shippo was scared for Inuyasha. Nothing like this would have happened with Inuyasha around. He feared the worse and seeing that he was okay just sent him over the edge. No one was ready to give up Kaede-sama and especially not that way. Shippo intended to apologize but Inuyasha always stopped him, saying it was his fault for all of it. How the hell was it his fault? It wasn't and it didn't excuse his behavior.
Inuyasha's scent brought Shippo out of his thought. Inuyasha dropped the large buck near the river's edge before turning his attention to Shippo. He was avoiding his talk with Shippo because he was not sure how to talk to him. As Myouga stated, "Oh Lord Inuyasha, you are much wiser than you give yourself credit. You will know the right thing to do when the time is right. You will know if Shippo is meant to stay or to leave. Now you understand why Lord Sesshomaru was never willing to have a pack on his own. Too much trouble, eh?"
"I can not do this any longer. This…this not talking to each other. I was wrong to speak to you the way I did. It was wrong and none of this was your fault. It was childish. Throttle me, do something, but do not ignore me as if I do not exist," Shippo stated. His voice faltering at the end of his sentence. His eyes were pleading with Inuyasha.
"There is nothing to talk about. You publically insulted me and threatened my position as Alpha. I know where your loyalty lies and it is not within me. I can not deal with that," Inuyasha responded.
Shippo paled at Inuyasha words. Was he truly saying what he thought he was saying? Was Inuyasha kicking him out of the pack, the pack that he only knew as family? Shippo knew deep down that it could possibly come to this. It took every inch of his control not to let the tears flow. Children cried. He was a man. He would deal with the repurcussions of his actions.
"I understand," Shippo said dryly," Tell them I left. That I left on my own."
"Keh. Why for? You tell them," Inuyasha replied.
"They would hate you. They would hate you for making me leave even though it is the right thing to do,"
"You would leave for the sake of the pack?"
"I would do anything for them. If leaving will keep them safe, I would do it," Shippo explained. The tears were flowing now. He could not help it. He knew if he and Inuyasha ever fought or if they knew he left because of Inuyasha, Kagome and Inuamaya would never forgive Inuyasha. Shippo would have single handedly destroyed their whole pack. Shippo could not allow that to happen.
"No need to cry pup. No one is abandoning you. I had to make sure your heart was in the right place. You're my son and I don't abandon family. You got that, runt?" Inuyasha stated.
"But I, you were," Shippo started.
"No harm done," Inuyasha said and pulled Shippo into a hug. He ruffled his hair before stepping back and said, "Now if you do it again, I'll have to kill you."
"Like you could old man," Shippo sniffled as he wiped the tears from his face.
"Don't try me runt," Inuyasha said, "Now come on. Let's get this meat back to everyone. We got hungry mouths to feed."
Sesshomaru sat in a tree watching over Kagura and Jaken. Sleep evaded him since the night of the red moon when he heard Inuyasha's sorrowful howl. The only person, other than his mother, that Inuyasha would howl like that was for the old priestess. It was not simply a death howl. This specific howl was to serenade a loved one into the next life. Since Kagome and Inuamaya were both well, he deduced that it had to be Kaede. It surprised him that along with his anger there was grief for the old woman. The old woman meant more to him than he allowed anyone else to know. Yes, she was a part of his pack and she took care of Rin for him; but, that woman had been caring to him as well. No one knew of this of course. In some way, Kaede could be blamed for his fondness of Rin. Sesshomaru wanted to find his brother and figure out what happened, but he had his own problems to deal with.
Something was wrong with his land as well as others. He called a meeting to his castle and he needed to return to discuss the ever growing threat that his instincts told him was coming. It irritated him that they were not already at the castle but he did not wish to travel at night due to Kagura nor did he want leave her on his own. Kagura could not be left alone. In the state she was in, Kagura was too weak to avoid another disastrous situation and he would not be able to control himself if that happened.
Tensaiga vibrated against Sesshomaru's side. "Tensaiga." Sesshomaru unsheathed his sword. He cut his palm, allowing blood to flow down the blade. Sesshomaru let go of the blade and followed after it as it plummeted to the ground. The blade embedded in dirt and quickly made a circle around Kagura and Jaken in his blood. The sword pulsated, beckoned for Sesshomaru to grab it. He did so and said, "Barrier." A red barrier encased Kagura and Jaken. He wiped Tensaiga clean and sheathed it. Sesshomaru gave a knowing nod to Tensaiga. She always knew what he needed. Sesshomaru had come to realize his sword had feminine attributes even though it came from his father's fang. Either way, Sesshomaru respected his sword's wishes and addressed her correctly, so she did what he needed and wanted if he had the best intentions.
Sesshomaru traveled quickly. He still did not have full faith in the barrier much to Tensaiga's annoyance which was determined from her pulsating at the thought. Sesshomaru did not want to waste any time. He, soon, found himself in front of a cave. A woman stood in front of the entrance. She was beautiful, as beautiful as Sesshomaru remembered. Her black hair flowed in the wind. Her pinkish-silver eyes glittered in the moonlight making her pale skin look even more lustrous. Her unseeing eyes turned to focus on Sesshomaru as he approached her. As he came closer, he noticed the faint scars over her eyes that signified her once close encounter with death. She was one of the last remaining moth youkai with the spider youkai gone, she was able to live a somewhat peaceful life but with her disability she would never be able to bring children into this world.
"Sesshomaru-sama," the woman said before bowing, "it has been a long time."
"Ginahana," Sesshomaru responded.
"Flattery will get you nowhere. Address me properly or not at all. I told you I never wanted to see you again," the woman stated.
"And here we are," Sesshomaru said.
"I will not let you use me again for your desires," the woman declared.
"Hikaru, I swore I would never insult you in that way again," Sesshomaru said disdainfully.
"Then why are you here Sesshomaru-sama?" Hikaru asked.
"I am in need of your skill set," Sesshomaru said.
"Hmm, you know what I require," Hikaru stated.
Sesshomaru removed a bloodied, tattered rag. Hikaru reached blindly for the rag and Sesshomaru placed it into her hand. She quickly put the rag into her mouth. She closed her eyes and chewed slowly. An eyebrow raised for a second. A female, a young female. Is Sesshomaru interested in courting a female? She could taste the emotions of the woman on this piece of cloth and it caused her to wrinkle her nose in disgust.
"Fear, sadness, hatred, you did not cause these strong emotions?" Hikaru asked. She knew Sesshomaru as being cruel once but he held a softness for women that he respected. She hoped that this woman was one that he respected. If not, there was no telling what he could and would do with the woman if she defied him. Hikaru cringed a little at the distant but explicit memories of she and Sesshomaru.
"No," Sesshomaru spat. The very thought of her thinking he would do something like that annoyed him but he allowed the insult. She of all people had reason to doubt him.
"Good. Hmm. She's young but still has a slight taste of old. Maybe it is the pain she has endured. She's a wind sorceress…a mixed breed…well now, Sesshomaru-sama, when did you begin to take on lowly demons as your company?" Hikaru asked. She could feel his anger and she laughed before running her hand through her hair. Obviously he did care for this woman. "Relax Sesshomaru-sama. Anyone worthy of your presence will be treated with the upmost respect by me. I would like to meet this woman."
"Can you create for her?" Sesshomaru asked.
"Yes I can. It'll take time. Come in. We have much to do," Hikaru stated as she waved Sesshomaru forward.
Miroku felt sorry for Kohaku. Day and night he was busy worrying over Rin's sleeping form. He was completely oblivious to the fact that Rin did not reciprocate her feelings for him. Rin, on the otherhand, was in love with a man who would never love her the way she loved him. It was truly a sad state of affairs. Thankfully, Inuamaya had not turned out like her parets. She openly expressed her love to Ryu even if she did not fully comprehend it.
"There is hope for him. You see, I was like him and even though it took many years, I have regained my chance to be with the one I love," Kazuki said.
"You must mean Lady Kirara," Miroku replied.
"Yes," Kazuki said.
"I assumed as much. I do hope you understand you are not the only one vying for Lady Kirara's affections," Miroku added as he made complete eye contact with Kazuki. The cat youkai's eyes narrowed slightly before his calm disposition returned. Miroku did not miss the change in his mood though. Obviously he had hit a sore spot.
"You mean the kit? He is only but a young man, barely a man at that. She will not want anything from him. He can offer her nothing," Kazuki replied keeping his voice even to make sure his emotions did not betray him. He knew the damn fox had been lying when he first met him. He should have killed him then.
"You greatly underestimate Shippo and Lady Kirara's feelings for one another," Miroku stated. As far as Miroku's knowledge, Kirara, as a neko, only conversated with Shippo. Being that he was young at the time, he was able to learn Kirara's language better than Inuyasha. Shippo grew very fond of Kirara and now that she had a human form, Miroku was sure more feelings would develop.
"And you underestimate me, monk," Kazuki retorted.
"Now, now, no need to be upset friend," Kohaku stated. When he noticed that tempers were rising, Kohaku decided to end the conversation between the two. They could not handle any more stress. Kazuki was new to them and Kohaku doubted he would restrain himself if he went on the offensive. "My sister's husband enjoys getting a rise out of people." Kohaku cut his eyes at Miroku and Miroku shrugged. Miroku simply did not like Kazuki expresses his "love" for Kirara so openly. Something about it just was not right. If he cared so much about her, why did he appear now? Why did he appear when she had her human form? It was suspicious to say the least.
"No offense was taken," Kazuki said, "I can be…very blunt and I apologize. I meant no harm on my end. It is…very curious that a demon slayer, a monk, and a priestess would travel with youkai."
"We have found that youkai can be trusted as much or even more than humans," Kohaku answered.
"That is refreshing," Kazuki replied, "It is incredible that my kind can work along with yours but I wonder for how long."
"What do you mean?" Kohaku questioned.
"He means that this peace between humans and youkai is temporary," Miroku answered.
"One way or another hatred will destroy the peace and it is only a matter of time before one race becomes dominant and the other is destroyed. When will these random acts of kindness stop making a difference? It is already here in your tight, knit group. Look at that boy. A hanyou saved him and hanyous are much less of a threat than a youkai and he still shivers with fear. Even after the professing of her love for him, he can not relax because it is unnatural. It is better to keep to your own kind in the end, don't you think?" Kazuki explained.
"I have faith. Inuyasha and Kagome-san are examples that youkai and humans can coexist happily," Kohaku said with a smile.
"Very ture. I think I should go patrol now," Kazuki stated before walking away.
When he was out of hearing distance, Kohaku spoke, "He does not like humans. He was warning of us of his intentions if we crossed him."
"Apparently so. This is troubling. His link to us is Lady Kirara," Miroku said, "If she chooses to deny him, there is no telling what he will do."
"We need to tell Kirara-san or perhaps Inuyasha-san," Kohaku stated.
"Both, no one should be caught unaware," Miroku added.
Inuamaya sunk slowly into the hot water of the hot springs. Her body was sore from all the walking. She was tired, oh so tired. She could not sleep. She kept dreaming of things that happened in the past. It was driving her crazy. Inuamaya knew it meant something important, but everything was jumbled. There was too much chaos. It was too much for her to decipher.
The water lapped a little harder at her which signified someone else getting into the hot springs with her. She turned her attention away from her body to see Kirara gingerly approaching her. Kirara hated water. She hated it so much but she understood to bathe properly in this form, she needed the water but how she detested it. The warmth of the water was welcoming and it quelled her hatred for the water temporarily.
"Kirara-san, what are you doing here? Where is Sango-san and Okaa-san?" Inuamaya asked.
"They decided to take a night swim in the river. I chose to stay here with you. You are older but still kitten and you are not strong enough to be left on your own," Kirara explained.
"I deserve to be alone. I deserve to be exiled," Inuamaya responded.
"You deserve to be loved. I will not tolerate any more of this talk. Kaede-sama would not want this and you shame Lady Midoriko with your weakness," Kirara hissed.
"But if I had stayed put…"
"It was meant to be Amaya. Nothing you nor anyone could have done to change Kaede-sama's fate. She knew this and made peace with it. You must make peace with it too," Kirara stated, "We can not afford for our judgement to be clouded. There is something wrong within our realm. You can feel it, can't you?"
Inuamaya nodded. She knew of the feeling that Kirara felt. Something dark, something evil lurked in the shadows at night. Inuamaya had felt it long before the necklace had reached her. She did not know what it was then. She knew now. Whatever was causing all the problems lurked in the darkness or perhaps an extension of itself. And it talked. With the necklace on, she was more aware of it. She could understand more of what it was saying. It was calling for her or at least she believed so. Inuamaya knew if she acknowledged it that would be the end of her and her family, so she ignored it as best as she could.
"Refusing it makes me tired. I…I am afraid that I will be lured again. I don't want anyone else to be hurt because of me," Inuamaya explained.
"I can teach you control. I can teach you what Lady Midoriko taught me if something like this ever happened again," Kirara said.
"Control? I will be able to resist it?" Inuamaya asked.
"Yes, you will learn control over the necklace and not allow it to bend you to your will and with this training you will be able to resist any other lure from anyone else," Kirara answered, "Now, let's bathe so we can remove ourselves from this accursed water and eat."
Preview of Next Chapter:
"You really do have lousy taste in company, my son. Really a mixed breed? Come now. I have a much better selection for you."
"I will be damned if she takes what all I have worked for!"
"Mutt-face, this is a serious matter and I am not an idiot. You're going to need my help too."
Author's Note: Well this was a very, long chapter. This is a Sesshomaru and Kagura get together story, but it is twisting into something so much more. I realize there is not a lot known about Sesshomaru's past, but I am doing my best to make realistic past events for him as well as for Kirara. Please give me your opinion on it. I hope you all enjoyed this chapter. I apologize for the long delay but I hold no promises about when the next chapter will be. But I do promise that the next chapter will be long like this one. Please review and stay tuned for the next chapter of Regaining Time Lost.