Avian Anarchy
by Teddylonglong
All recognizable characters belong to J. K. Rowling or Disney, and I am not earning anything by writing this story. I am merely borrowing the characters to play with them.
I am not a native speaker of English. Please excuse my mistakes.
Warnings: Completely AU, partly OOC, magically powerful Harry. Dumbledore/Weasley bashing.
Hedwig watched the Defence Against the Dark Arts professor in absolute hatred. 'How dare she use a blood quill on Harry and Luna?' she thought, as she pondered what to do to the bitch in her more than annoying pink cardigan. 'If she's as bigoted as she seems, she should at least wear proper robes.' As she planned her revenge, she thought, 'I really shouldn't be a phoenix but a white tiger,' inwardly glaring at Santa for the choice of her form. 'Oh well, it wasn't my choice, so I'm not going to even try behaving like a phoenix.' The thought 'It wasn't even Santa's but that of the North Fir Tree, and Santa only helped me to change from an owl to a phoenix' crossed her mind; however, she did not care. She was a Mum on the warpath against someone who had wronged her baby after all and that outweighed her being a phoenix.
'All right now, I really have to plan carefully, so that the matter won't rebound to me in any way. She shall never be able to talk about what's going to happen.' She considered using the Imperius curse on the woman; however, decided against it. 'As a phoenix, I can't ever use an Unforgivable.' Instead, she merely planted an idea into the woman's head that made her pen a letter.
'To whoever it might concern,
after using a blood quill on students, I decided to retire from Hogwarts. All students are imbeciles.
Good bye.
Dolores Umbridge.'
Leaving the letter on the table, the professor went to bed like her manipulated mind instructed her. Hedwig simply followed her into the bedroom, where she sat on top of the wardrobe, deeply engrossed in her planning. She spent the next few hours developing a charm that would have the same effect as the Imperius curse, which she refused to use.
From time to time, Harry and Paws contacted her through the bond; however, she reassured them that everything was all right and asked them to go to bed without waiting for her. 'I'll return sometime during the night and then will join you in my Animagus form,' she promised, smiling at the thought of her family.
Pushing all thoughts of Paws AKA James and his recent idea of having a canine baby from her mind, she concentrated on the task ahead. She cast a sleeping spell close to a coma on the witch in the pink nightdress, before she transfigured her into a toad, using as much magic as she dared use without killing the bitch. 'She looked like a toad in the first place,' she thought, fluffing her feathers in contentedness upon knowing that Umbridge would never be able let alone willing to transform back. Then she cast the much more difficult charm at the small animal, which she could not even see under the covers. She changed the toad's mind in a way that made her idea its only goal, involving the information that there was at least another, male, toad in the castle. 'At the next opportunity, I will buy a more appropriate pet for Neville,' she resolved, before she summoned the toad, almost gagging in disgust at its sight.
'Thank Merlin she's still fast asleep,' she thought, casting another newly developed charm at the toad. It would make the toad's name appear as 'Toad Queen' instead of 'Dolores Umbridge.' 'Otherwise, it would be too dangerous at Hogwarts with the Marauders Map around,' she thought, 'and that way, the ministry wouldn't know, even if they examined her for some reason.'
While she could have simply dropped the toad into Severus' private lab for further use, she decided that she rather wanted to have some fun. Picking the toad up with her beak, she flashed right into the Slytherin common room, where she left the animal in front of the fireplace, making a mental note to tell Paws to not eat it.
Five minutes later, during which she once more considered if her plan was fool proof, she flashed into Harry's and Draco's room, transformed into her canine form and crawled under the covers, nestling against the two puppies who were her family and her love in past, present and future in contentedness.
HP
When Hedwig woke up in the morning, Harry and Paws were gone, and she found herself alone in Harry's bed. 'Oh Merlin, I was so exhausted from all the magic I did that I didn't even notice, when they got up,' she thought, feeling thoroughly annoyed that no one had bothered to wake her up. She quickly transformed into her phoenix form – at least she intended to do so – only to realise in shock that she was not able to transform.
'Hedwig,' she felt Santa contact her through telepathy. 'After all you did last night, even if I have to admit that it was well thought out and all, you must not transform into your phoenix form until Christmas. A phoenix doesn't behave as anarchistic as you did last night.'
'Santa,' Hedwig let out a small yowl. 'I told you I'd better be a white tiger. If someone wrongs my baby, I'll just have to act.'
'I fully understand; nevertheless, I must punish you, as what you did was not adequate behaviour of one of my white animals, let alone of a phoenix. At least you have your canine form, and you could use the time to practise transforming into your human form as well. Don't worry, I'll send Holly with a sleigh to collect you at King's Cross.'
'Thanks Santa, and I'm sorry to have disappointed you. I'm not sorry for what I did though.'
'That's all right, dear,' Santa replied, and she could somehow feel that he was chuckling.
Nevertheless, Hedwig felt horrified – less by the fact that she was not allowed to transform into her normal form as rather by having been scolded and punished by Santa. 'Oh well, he didn't really sound angry, so everything will be all right,' she consoled herself.
Deciding to dismiss the matter for the time being, she hurriedly left the room and, after finding out through telepathy that Harry and Paws were just walking from the Great Hall to the Potions classroom, she simply waited in the dungeons for Harry and his classmates to show up.
HP
It was not until lunchtime that the whole school realised that Professor Umbridge was missing, when Dumbledore addressed the students.
"It has just come to my attention that the first-years and the fifth-years have waited for their Defence Against the Dark Arts class, but Professor Umbridge never showed up. Has anyone seen her?"
No one replied, however, one or the other voice could be heard throughout the Great Hall claiming that she was very welcome to remain gone forever.
"Minerva, Severus, will you please accompany me to her office to see what might be wrong?"
The two professors swiftly followed the headmaster out of the Great Hall.
"You had detention with her last night, didn't you?" Annika enquired, giving Harry a sharp look.
"Yes. Well, I told you everything about it last night. I haven't seen her afterwards."
"That bitch." Annika nodded in understanding.
"Harry, shouldn't you tell the headmaster what she did to you?" Ginny cast him a look of obvious concern.
Harry shrugged. "I think it's enough that I told Professor Snape. He'll have told Dumbledore already or will do so later today."
"Your doggies didn't hunt her down, did they?" Dudley asked, looking under the table, where the two canines were fast asleep on Harry's and Draco's feet.
"Aren't my doggies much too well behaved to deal with the bitch of a professor?" Harry's voice was laced with sarcasm, which only his best friends noticed. They knew better than to comment on the matter though, knowing that if there was anything for them to know, Harry would inform them later on.
To the whole student body's relief, Professor Umbridge was not seen that day.
At dinnertime, the headmaster informed them that Professor Umbridge had apparently left Hogwarts and had only left a letter stating that she had used a blood quill on multiple students. Apparently knowing that most students had never heard of a blood quill and did not know what it was, he patiently explained the matter.
"If she used a blood quill on you, I ask you that you either speak with your head of house or come to me to talk about the matter. This is important, as the use of a blood quill is strictly forbidden and warrants for a one-way ticket to Azkaban."
'Oh well, as I already talked to Severus, there's nothing that I need to do,' Harry thought, only now realising that he had not even asked his mother what she had done to the bitch.
'Mum, what did you do to her?'
'That's for me to know and for you to probably never find out. Rest assured though that she'll never bother you again.'
'Is she dead?' Somehow, Harry was shocked at the idea that his mother had killed another person.
'Do I look like a killer?'
'Err, no, sorry Mum.'
'She's alive, but she's not herself anymore, and that's all I'm going to tell you right now.'
The whole school was happy to say the least that Professor Umbridge was gone. No one realised that it was a strange coincidence that Neville's toad Trevor vanished on the same day.
Only the house-elves noticed that in an unused dungeon corridor, two toads began to build a nest.
HP
Neville was devastated. As annoying as Trevor was, his Great Uncle Algie had given him to him and instructed him to take good care of him, and he really did not want to disappoint the old wizard. 'Gran will be so upset if I have to tell her that I lost him,' he thought. 'It's only two weeks, before I'll have to go home for Christmas.' Then, a sudden idea crossed his mind.
'Trevor, where are you?' he thought to the toad, glad that Harry had advised him to bond with his pet like he had done with his familiars.
'Ah, sorry Neville, but I've found myself a wife, and we're going to build the enchanted frog kingdom at Hogwarts.'
'The enchanted frog kingdom? Are you kidding me?'
'No. She's the Toad Queen, and she chose me above all other toads to be her companion.'
'Where are you building that frog kingdom? At Hogwarts?' Neville shook his head in disbelief.
'Yeah, in the dungeons. When we've properly settled in, I'll come to see you. Need to make some little toadies now.'
With that, the conversation ended, and Neville turned to his friends and told them the unbelievable story that Trevor had just relayed to him.
HP
'I wonder if that has something to do with Umbridge suddenly vanishing,' Harry thought, however, knew better than to ask him mother, who apparently did not want to relay anything about what she had done to the bitch. 'Umbridge always gave me the impression of a toad.'
HP
Albus Dumbledore absolutely hated it, when he did not have a clue, and right now, he had no idea what was happening in his school. His Defence Against the Dark Arts professor for the year had left after three months, simply leaving a note on her desk. According to said note, she had made students write with a blood quill. However, when he had asked the students, none of them had admitted to be the victim. Apart from Harry Potter, at least according to Severus.
Unfortunately, it was none other than himself who had the unfortunate task of informing the Minister of Magic, considering that Umbridge was his undersecretary.
"Cornelius, may I have a minute of your time?" he asked, as the Floo connected.
"Of course, Albus, is everything all right at Hogwarts?" Minister Fudge replied, seemingly in a good mood.
'Probably because of the approaching holidays,' Albus thought, feeling even more annoyed. Usually, Christmas at Hogwarts had been quite nice; however, recently, his most trusted colleagues, Minerva and Severus, had taken to spend their holidays elsewhere. Of course, during the last winter holidays, they had been at Hogwarts, however, that was because everyone was searching the school for the Chamber of Secrets. 'I bet both of them will be away again this time,' he thought, grimly.
"Albus?" the minister brought him back to reality.
"Ah, I'm sorry, Cornelius, I was lost in thought for a moment. I just wanted to enquire if you've heard anything from Dolores."
"Dolores?" The minister's eyes narrowed. "I thought she was at Hogwarts teaching Defence Against the Dark Arts."
"She was. Until yesterday morning, when she suddenly vanished, only leaving a message."
"And what did it say?" Fudge seemed to become impatient, and Albus quickly informed him about the content.
"A blood quill? Nonsense. They've been forbidden in Britain for a long time."
"I know that, Cornelius," Albus replied in a grave voice. "Therefore, I wish for an Auror to be sent to Hogwarts and search her office."
The minister nodded in apparent agreement. "I shall speak with Amelia and ask her to send someone over later today."
"Thank you, Cornelius. Have a good day." With that, Albus swiftly ended the floo connection.
HP
Only when Harry, Annika, Dudley, Minerva and Severus together with Hedwig and Paws returned to the North Pole, Sirius informed them that Tonks and her colleague Shacklebolt had searched Umbridge's office.
"They found four blood quills. Therefore, we have issued a search warrant for her. If she shows up anywhere in the magical world, she's going to get a one-way ticket to Azkaban."
"Good riddance."
Harry smiled at his cousin. "I absolutely agree."
=She won't show up though, at least not in her human form.=
Harry quickly translated. "Mum, when are you going to tell us what you did to her?"
Hedwig nestled deeper into Paws' embrace, before she began to explain, and Harry obediently translated the puppy's explanation.
Only when he finished talking, did he notice that Merlin had entered the room.
"So this whole toad invasion is your fault then," he spoke up, staring at Hedwig.
=Toad invasion?= Hedwig asked in apparent bewilderment.
"Ahh, that's what Neville told us," Harry recalled. "His toad Trevor was going to build a frog kingdom…"
"An enchanted frog kingdom with the Toad Queen," Annika interrupted in apparent excitement.
=The Toad Queen is Umbitch of course.= For once, Harry decided to not translate his mother's statement. Instead, he turned to Merlin.
"What about a toad invasion though? I only know of two toads."
Severus smirked. "And what do you think two toads would do in a large castle?"
Harry could not help blushing, glad when Merlin continued talking.
"Apparently, the house-elves of Hogwarts have contacted Santa's elves and asked if they could do something about a toad invasion. You must know that elves absolutely detest toads. As small and harmless they are, for elves, they are one of the biggest enemies. Anyway, I have just spoken with Bandhu, the elder elf, who is teaching at the SAMS, and he promised to send a group of elves who are professionals in capturing toads to Hogwarts and remove them from the castle."
"What's going to happen to them then?" Harry asked, knowing that Neville's pet was among the toads. "Oh well, do you think we could at least somehow rescue Trevor, Neville's toad?"
"I'll contact Bandhu and ask him," Merlin promised. "This Trevor should be the adult male I suppose."
"Merlin?" Annika's eyes narrowed. "How fast do toads reproduce?"
Merlin and Severus let out a collective snort. "As they're magical toads, it should be quick. Merlin, if they want an easy way to get rid of them, they can simply ask our elves to put the stunned toads into my personal lab for further use."
"Thanks Severus. That's a good idea."
=Sev, what are you going to use them for?= Hedwig asked, and Harry swiftly translated.
"Ah, I have one specific recipe in mind. It's in the curriculum of the third-years and involves parts of the body of an older, female toad."
Merlin nodded in understanding, before he changed the screen in front of them to display what he explained to be the Isle of Elves. Casting a charm that allowed him to speak directly with someone, he addressed Bandhu and explained what they had discussed about the toads at Hogwarts.
"I am sorry, Merlin, but the elves have already taken action. It's already occurring at Hogwarts as we speak."
"Oh all right then, thank you Bandhu and Merry Christmas."
"Merry Christmas Merlin and everyone else," the elder elf replied, smiling.
"Was he able to see us?" Annika enquired in apparent shock, when Merlin ended the connection.
"Yes."
"Merlin can you please switch to show Hogwarts?" Minerva cast the ancient wizard an impatient look. "I'd love to know what's going on in our school."
"Of course, dear." Merlin nodded in agreement and swiftly switched the screen to display Hogwarts, causing everyone gathered to gasp.
tbc...
Thank you for your kind comments on the previous chapter. Please tell me what you thought about this chapter and what you expect from this story. My muse really appreciates the feedback.
Not many opinions on the girlfriend question... Daphne? Luna? Anyone else? Please let me know. It will not be Ginny. Neither Hermione.
Next chapter: "Invasion".