Chapter Fourteen: Gossip

Emelia considered herself to be more passive than aggressive in nature. It had always been something she prided herself on. She didn't start fights, nor did she participate when someone tried to start one with her. Growing up in Kessog, it was often seen that people would try and entertain themselves in any way possible, and that sometimes included fighting with each other, only in jest and good fun, to stave off the endless hours of darkness that plagued them for half of the year. Her family, being second generation Irish immigrants on her father's side, had always gotten the jokes about being too quick to get drunk and too quick to get in fights.

Emelia never did any of that. She never had a desire to. That is until she met Thorin Oakenshield. That dwarf made her want to kick something, punch something, slap something, just to make her horrendous anger and frustration go away. She felt it bubbling and boiling under the surface of her skin, making her feel like tiny pins and needles were peppering her skin. With every single step she took farther and farther away from Thorin and Kili, the angrier and angrier she felt herself getting.

The nerve of them, the audacity of the whole thing, made her eyes water with angry tears.

Her entire body was shaking so much she had to stop walking for fear that she might fall down. She leaned herself against one of the many walls that made up Rivendell, dropping her hands down to her knees to steady her angry breathing. Her chest heaved up and down as she struggled to get herself to calm down from seeing red in front of her. She felt her legs slipping out from underneath her as she slid down to the ground in a mass of green fabric. She pulled her legs up to her chest, resting her face on the tops of her knees. The dress felt soft against her face, making the tears that sprung out of her eyes feel even more out of place. Her hands trembled as she attempted to wipe her eyes and nose to avoid soiling the dress she had been given. She could feel her nose running like a small child, making her feel even more humiliated that she found herself, once again, bawling on the floor in a heap thanks to Thorin.

She hated him. She really did. The thought of her being forced to continue traveling with the dwarves made her feel physically ill. It wasn't right and it wasn't fair. It felt like one bad thing was happening to her after another. First the trolls, then the wargs, and finally Thorin. He was a paranoid old bastard and she hated him. She hated him so much she felt her stomach churning with anger. The entire situation made her stomach churn with anger. How they could think that they could just drag her along like a rag doll was beyond her. It was as if they had no concern for her feelings. They only cared about their stupid mission. She was nothing to them and that made her angrier than she had been in her recent memory.

Emelia had been hoping that Rivendell might be the end of her ordeal. She had hoped that the elves who resided there would maybe be able to point her in the direction of a way to get home. But that seemed almost impossible now that she was going to be leashed to Thorin Oakenass and his band of miscreants.

The sun had risen up completely in the sky by the time one of the dwarves managed to find her leaning against the wall. She had slumped down into herself, not bothering to remove her head from her knees. It was Kili who found her sitting slumped in on herself, sniffing like she had just come down from a particularly violent bought of tears. She was curled up so tightly, Kili was surprised she hadn't disappeared entirely into her too big green dress.

He had followed her, against his better judgment, when she had gone stalking out of the room his uncle had been in. She hadn't been hard to follow, considering she was stomping around like an angry troll, leaving behind a trail of muttered curse words and loud threats that echoed down the halls. He had left some space between the two of them, allowing the angry woman time to calm down before he approached her. He didn't exactly need her going after his nose again.

He had expected to find her kicking something, or throwing some of the ornate vases that sat on the tables that decorated the hallways. It wouldn't have surprised him to see her ripping a tapestry down from the wall. He did not, however, expect to find her crumpled in on herself, crying softly into her knees. Her hair, which had looked so nice, had come out of the tie the elves had done it in, allowing some of the wilder strands to stick to her wet face. Her dress hung awkwardly off one shoulder and pooled on the floor by her completely covered feet, making her look so small it was almost alarming.

He should have just turned around right then and there, but he really couldn't bring himself to do it. Fili would probably punch him if he left his older brothers newest friend on the floor crying and collecting dust. Not to mention that in addition to the fact his brother would make his life miserable, he felt an oddly uncomfortable pang in his chest when he saw her sitting there alone crying. He moved towards her, if only to get the pang to go away, and sat down gingerly next to her.

She didn't look up when she felt the warmth next to her. She merely pressed her face into her knees further, making colors shoot across her vision from the pressure.

"Emelia," Kili was positive she would be able to hear the awkwardness in his voice when he addressed her. "I am sorry you have to come with us."

"No you're not." Her voice came out thick and watery sounding. "You're only saying that because you don't want to have to be around me for longer than necessary."

He let out a small chuckle, earning a scoff from Emelia. "You may be correct in that assumption, Miss Emelia." He paused when he saw her look up at him, a look of derision marring her tear stained face. "But I find, despite that, I feel sorry that you are being forced to come with us."

"I shouldn't have to, Princess." Emelia said, leaning back against the cold stone of the wall.

Kili normally would have said something about the 'princess' remark, but he knew better than to upset her even further. "I know you shouldn't, but…"

"But nothing. I'm going to die if I go with you. Does that not even factor in for you?" She paused, hating that she had once again started to breathe heavier. "Does that not even matter to any of you?"

Kili didn't really know how to answer her. He wasn't particularly fond of her, but that did not mean he wanted to see anything bad happen to her. None of the dwarves wanted that. His uncle, as coldly as he had treated her, would never wish for that to happen. "It matters."

"Then why?" Her voice was nothing more than a whisper. "Why can't I just go home?"

"I don't really have an answer that will satisfy you." Kili said slowly.

"You could lie to me." Emelia offered, stretching her legs out in front of her, before folding her arms up into her lap. "I wouldn't get mad at you."

"Yes you would." Kili said, looking over at her as she looked down at the folded hands in her lap. "Besides, I do not think I could come up with a reasonable excuse."

Emelia glanced up at him, finally managing to dry her face completely with the palms of her hands. It had occurred to both of them how odd it was that they had managed to talk with each other without a nose being broken. Emelia had not been aware that Kili was even capable of having a civil conversation, let alone offer her some sort of comfort. As she was looking up at him, she could see, for the first time, how much he and his brother were alike. While they looked nothing alike, she could hear the same soft concern in Kili's voice that she had heard in Fili's voice the entire time she had been around him. She knew Kili didn't like her, yet he had the decency to look at her with pity and a kindness in his face that she hadn't seen directed at her. He had the decency not to make fun of her, or tell her to pull it together and stop acting like a baby. He had the decency to sit by her when she needed someone to sit by her the most.

"Do you think I am going to die?" She asked quietly, never breaking eye contact with him.

Kili looked at her, feeling slightly uncomfortable under her green eyed gaze. He had seen her panicking, listless, and hurt in the span of the last couple of days, but he imagined that was all from a physical influence. This time it was different. She looked genuinely terrified of what was going to happen to her. Emelia looked like she had just been told her death would be coming within the next couple of moments.

"I wouldn't think so, no." Kili said, shifting uncomfortably under her gaze. "I wouldn't let that happen."

"Even though I broke your nose?" She asked, looking at the ground sheepishly.

"Even though you broke my nose."

She attempted to smile at him, revealing the discomfort she was feeling with every action she took. "I guess you're not so bad, Princess."

Kili smiled at her before he knew what he was doing, noting for the first time why his brother truly enjoyed spending so much time with her. She was rather charming, when she wasn't being foul and rude. She was smiling at him, which was odd, and he found that when she smiled he didn't dislike her so much as he normally did. He shook his head, attempting to clear his head. He wasn't supposed to find her charming. He was supposed to want to throw in the nearest river and send her one her way, considering the way she had treated him. He was supposed to hate her, not smile at her.

Kili knew he shouldn't have followed her.

"Would you like to go back to sleep, or would you prefer to join everyone else for breakfast?" Kili asked, sensing that it was time to change the conversation and get away from her before his mind decided that he didn't hate her altogether.

He stood up, dusting off his clothes before he offered her a reluctant hand. She gazed at it for a moment, seeming to debate back and forth before she looked up at him. "It isn't a trick is it?"

"Just take it." Kili said, instantly regretting his decision to be chivalrous.

"No need to get testy. If you wanted to hold my hand, you could've just asked." She seemed to realize what she had just said. She looked away from him for a moment before she took his hand, allowing him to haul her to her feet. And just like that the moment, however slight and uncomfortable it had been, was gone. He didn't even bother to stop the eye roll as he helped her to her feet, immediately releasing her hand and moving away from her to a respectable distance. She shot him an awkward glance before walking away from him, stumbling slightly over the too long dress, leaving him standing where he was wondering just exactly what had happened.

Emelia did her best to avoid Thorin and Kili for the remainder of the second day the company spent in Rivendell. Thorin, for obvious reasons, was easy to avoid. He spent his time holed up in the room he had been given, often calling up Balin or Oin to discuss things that Emelia was quite sure she cared nothing about. She made it a special point of hers, after she finished her rather manly sized breakfast, to not go within a hundred yards of where Thorin had built his little nest.

Kili was harder to avoid for the simple fact that he and Fili spent their time attached at the hip like a pair of woefully unconnected conjoined twins. Fili had been more excited at breakfast than she would have liked at the notion that she was jumping on the company bandwagon. He had pulled her into a tight hug, rocking her back and forth enthusiastically before he was silenced by a disdainful look from his brother and a rather withering glare from Dwalin.

Kili had been silent for the duration of the meal, shooting her odd glances every now and then, or the occasional scoff when she said something stupid. For the most part, with the notable exception of the times he spoke to her to discuss something logistic about the training that she was inevitably going to have to do, he was the definition of awkward. She had not ever taken him for the type to be so painfully awkward everyone who was present at breakfast picked up on it. But he was and it made Emelia's stomach squirm uncomfortably every time they made eye contact. She didn't like it. She wished he would just say something nasty to her. But he didn't. He didn't smile like he had when they were alone, but he still didn't offer her a reason to mutter angry words about him under her breath like she wanted to so desperately.

The conversation in the hallway wasn't something she was proud of. She wished it had been Fili that she had spoken to. She wouldn't have felt so weird if it had been Fili. As it were, she felt like she had just spilled some of her inner most thoughts to a dwarf who would likely hold it against her the next moment he got. Her face burned with embarrassment and shame every time replayed the words she had spoken to the dark dwarf in her head. She had sounded like a child, which probably didn't help his views on her in the slightest.

Fili had sensed her discomfort early on in the meal, bless him, and offered to take her to the training field before Dwalin and Kili decided to join them.

It wasn't until it was just the two of them standing on the slopping training field that he finally spoke to her, sounding almost weary of the question he was asking.

"I do not mean to pry," He paused shifting awkwardly on his feet. "But why exactly were you and Kili so bleeding awkward at breakfast this morning?"

Emelia looked down at the dewy grass, mulling over the proper response to give him. "He found me after my little tirade at Thorin."

"And he made you feel better?" Fili sounded almost as surprised as Emelia had been.

"Shockingly, yes."

Fili was silent for a moment before he let out a lout chuckle of laughter. "Emmy, that's wonderful."

"How do you figure?"

"This means I don't have to listen to the two of the snipping to me when the other isn't there." Fili said, a large smiling spreading across his bearded face. "I swear to Mahal, he couldn't seem to quiet up about y…"

"He said stuff about me?" Emelia asked, crossing her arms over her chest. "What did he say?"

Fili back tracked almost instantly, offering her a very large and very fake smile. "Nothing that you would be particularly interested in."

Emelia didn't believe him for a second. She took a step towards him, pulling her dress up slightly to avoid tripping over the long skirts. She tried her best to look serious, only to have Fili laugh at her attempts to be intimidating.

"Come on, Fee. I jus…."

"Emelia!"

Both Fili and Emelia turned around at the sound of the high, tinkling voice calling to her from the top of the training field. Emelia immediately felt a smile slide onto her face, while Fili didn't even bother to try and hide the scowl on his tan face. Nim, now smiling widely at both of them, was making her way towards them, pulling a small figure alone behind her. Nim had changed into a much more casual dress from the night before, choosing to wear a work dress as opposed to the fancy one she had been wearing to great Emelia in. Her hair had been pulled back from her face giving her the overall look of being very relaxed and casual. It wasn't until she got closer to them that Emelia was able to see who Nim was bringing with her.

Fern was walking along behind her, holding Nim's hand in her own small tan one. She was looking around timidly, clutching onto Nim for dear life.

"Fern?" Emelia moved towards her, hardly believing her eyes. She had not exactly given the two children much thought after they had gone stalking off into the trees. They had gotten away and she hadn't. She had been envious, despite the fact that she had told them to go. She had thought they were going to get to live while she didn't. Once they had disappeared into the trees, she had lost all thought and recollection of them. Frinil and Fern had slipped from her mind just as quickly as they had slipped away from the trolls.

"Fern, what are you doing here?"

Fern let go of Nim's hand, rushing forward until she caught Emelia around her waist, throwing her back slightly from the force of the embrace.

"She insisted on seeing you once I mentioned something about your hair." Nim said, smiling slightly as the young girl crushed Emelia with her hug. "She said something about needing to thank you."

"Gossiped more like it." Emelia shot Nim a look as she set Fern back on the ground.

"That is not the word I would use." Nim said with a simple quirk of her lips. She glanced around her only to notice Fili for the first time. "Hello." She said softly, taking in his angry stance. "You must be one of Lady Emelia's dwarven companions."

Emelia could tell Fili was annoyed at the fact that Nim was speaking to him. She glanced down at Fern before she spoke for him, shooting him a wary look. "This is Fili," She paused, realizing that she didn't know his last name.

"Son of Mirwi." Fili finished with a firm look off disliking etched onto his face.

"I am Nim of the Grey Havens," Nim smiled widely at him, seemingly oblivious to the look on Fili's face. "At your service."

Fili looked up at the smiling elf, doing his best to remain stoic and angry looking. However, despite his best efforts he was finding it hard to keep his glare directed at the lady elf. "I read that in a book." Nim said suddenly, forcing Fili shoot Emelia a wary look. He couldn't deny that he wasn't entirely fond of Emelia making friends with the whimsical looking tree lovers. "I never thought I would get to say it."

Emelia glanced back and forth between the two of them, feeling Fern still gripping to her tightly. Fili was eyeing Nim with so much contempt and disdain, Emelia was surprised she hadn't withered under his gaze. She waited for what felt like an eternity for before she reached over with her elbow, delivering a solid hit to his stomach, forcing him to look over at her in surprise.

"It is fine, Emelia." Nim said simply, turning her attention back to the red head. "I merely wanted Fern to come visit you. I can see that we interrupted something." She turned her attention back to Fern, gesturing with her hand for the young girl to come back to her. "Fern, I believe your brother is waiting for you to come. It was a true pleasure to meet you Master Dwarf."

Fern moved forward, only to stop and turn back to Emelia and Fili. She opened her mouth, then closed it again, a slight blush on her dark skin. "I am really happy you are alive Miss Emelia. Me and Frinie wanted to say thank you for helping us escape the trolls. We would have been like Mama and…" She paused, small wet tears forming in the corners of her eyes. "Papa if it hadn't been for you." She gave her a watery, childlike smile before turning around and taking Nim's hand and trotting along behind the elf, leaving Emelia and Fili standing in the training field in silence.

"Way to go Fee," Emelia turned around, slapping him soundly on the arm. "Now the only female friend I made is going to think I run around with a bunch of assholes."

"She's an elf." Fili said simply, crossing his arms over his chest. "You could find far better friends than the likes of her."

"That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard." Emelia said with an eye roll. She walked away from him slightly, tripping ungracefully over her dress. "I mean, is it so hard for you dwarves to be polite to new people you meet?"

"I was nice to you when we first met." Fili said as if it negated his sorry attitude towards Nim.

When she didn't respond, Fili took it as his cue to change the subject. "What did Fern mean, when she was referring to the trolls?"

Emelia could see Kili and Dwalin making their way towards them, both leaning together to talk under their breath, about what she assumed was her. Kili had changed into more casual clothes, still in blue, and was holding his bow and a quiver of arrows close to his body. Dwalin was holding two axes and a small sword, flexing his hands over them. Emelia could see the identical looks of annoyance and anger on their faces. Kili glanced up at her, seeing her facing away from Fili, and stared at her for a moment before he turned back to Dwalin, muttering something that made the older dwarf laugh in a loud, booming voice. She didn't like the looks on their faces as they glanced up at her. She thought dwarf men were above gossiping, but apparently not. Thorin hadn't been kidding when he had said she would be trained how to defend herself properly. She half wished she had followed after Fern and Nim, just so that she didn't have to face the fact that in a few days' time she would be leaving Rivendell.

"It was a moment of bravery, Fee, that isn't likely to happen again."