Chapter Sixteen: A Pair of Noodges

The first week after the company left Rivendell Emelia discovered that hiking through the mountains was nothing like the movies portrayed it to be. It was miserable, at best, and depressingly monotonous. She had spent the first couple of days glaring at the ground, and the back of Thorin's head, like they had personally offended her. Her back hurt constantly from carrying the leather bag Nim had supplied her, her feet felt like they had been rubbed raw, and her skin felt disgusting from not being able to shower or bathe properly .

All in all, she found had found it hard to not go running back to Rivendell every time she wasn't being watched by some dwarf or another.

The first night they had not been in Rivendell Emelia had thought she wasn't going to make it until morning. When she had slept in the wild after the trolls had held her captive, the only reason she had been able to fall asleep was pure unadulterated exhaustion. She hadn't noticed the sounds that plagued her mind, the never ending paranoia and panic that seemed to engulf her entire being, making it impossible for her to even attempt to sleep. The sounds of insects and the howls and calls of animals were maddening, filling her mind up with horrible visions and images. Last she had checked, sleeping outside was supposed to be peaceful and relaxing, not utterly terrifying.

She was finally able to sleep through the night on their third day being away from Rivendell. She had kept herself curled up into a tight ball, pulling the jacket Nim had given her so tightly over her face she had found it hard to breathe at times. She didn't mind. She would rather have it be hard to breathe than face the alternative of looking out at the eyes of the animals and seeing the insects dancing over the dying fire. When she had woken up at the first light of morning, her body and mind had tricked her into thinking she was back home. She had almost burst into tears when she realized she had been woefully, and depressingly, wrong.

The dwarves had not seemed to mind the trekking through the mountains. In fact, more often than not, they seemed to downright enjoy themselves. Bombur made them practically gourmet meals ever night; whistling to himself happily every time he pulled out his large cooking pot. Bofur never stopped smiling, even when it had down poured on the fourth day, soaking all of them straight to the bone. Nori had been pickpocketing the other dwarves for fun, saying cheeky comments accompanied by a large smile whenever they finally noticed something was missing. Dori had brewed tea for all of those who would take it every single night like they were on some bloody day trip in the Swiss Alps.

Bilbo seemed to be the only one who was just as miserable as Emelia. He kept to himself, shuffling his large hairy feet in the gooey dirt every time they stopped for the night. He had eyed her briefly, giving her a look that she assumed was supposed to be sympathetic, before pulling his own cloak over his face, effectively shutting himself off from the rest of the group. He did that for three solid days before he finally managed to join the dwarves by their fires and talk to them like they weren't his least favorite people in the world.

Emelia was rather impressed by the hobbit. He kept up with the dwarves, despite his tiny size, and somehow managed to find a way to do it with no small amount of grace and refinement that seemed to be seriously lacking amongst the other companions.

She still hadn't managed to speak to anyone but Fili, Balin, and Ori without wanting to hit something.

When they hiked she kept close to Fili, allowing him the liberty of saying one-liners only so that she wouldn't have to face the silence of the wild alone.

Everything seemed so much worse to Emelia after she had seen the luxury and comfort of Rivendell. The civilized nature of the soft sheets and warm baths seemed like they had just been a cruel trick, dangled in front of her only to be snatched away as soon as she had finally started to feel comfortable in her new surroundings. She found she missed the way the elves went about things, the manner in which they conducted their everyday lives. She missed Nim.

She kept those thoughts to herself. She had seen the way the dwarves regarded the elves. She wasn't stupid. She had seen the way Fili had looked at Nim when she had come to visit her on the training field. It was apparent to her that the dwarves hated the elves, and in most cases, those feelings were returned with vigor. She imagined the dwarves wouldn't like to hear that she much preferred the company of elves to them. Some of them, specifically Ori, would be downright offended and hurt.

That spurt of consideration didn't stop her from hating every moment of every day, however.

"Emmy, do you think you could manage to pry the effervescent and perpetual frown from your pretty face long enough to come look at this?"

Emelia looked around, folding her arms over her chest. Fili was slightly down the steep, slippery hill that the company found themselves on, smiling cheekily up at her through the haze of mist that covered them all. He had his right hand rested on the hilt of his sword, gesturing with his left hand out to the tree line that she had stomped past in her perpetual state of annoyance. He looked at her for a moment, seeing the stubborn look slide onto her face, before he trudged up the hill to grab her arm and pull her back down.

He gestured with his arm, pointing out over the tree line towards one of the far flung mountains with a smile. Emelia followed his gaze, expecting something awe-inspiring or majestic, only to be met with the sight of a blurry, lackluster rainbow peeking out from the clouds in the distance. The colors looked muted in the hazy sky, making the overall sight unappealing and less than spectacular. She turned to look at Fili, seeing his proud smile. She rolled her eyes, turned on her heel and started back up the hill.

"Oh come on Emmy." Fili called after her, hurrying to catch up with her. "I thought you would think it was pretty."

"Because I'm a girl?"

"Well, yes." Fili didn't even bother to look bashful as she rolled her eyes at him when he leveled himself with her.

"Nice try Fee."

"Emelia, you've been moping around for days." He paused, lowering his voice slightly. The rest of the dwarves had glanced over at the two briefly, shooting her annoyed looks. Ori eyed them carefully for a moment, offering Emelia a careful, shy smile before he too turned away from them. Emelia watched their retreating backs before she turned to Fili. "You can't stay mad at all of us forever."

"I can try." Emelia said with a shrug of her shoulders. Her pack shifted painfully, straining her muscles and sore skin. "I think you'll find I'm uniquely qualified to stay as mad as long as I want. Especially if you keep trying to show me flouncy rainbows."

Fili let out a snort of laughter, placing his hand on her sore shoulder. "If I didn't know any better, I would have thought you were a dwarf."

"The horror." She nudged him playfully, giving him a slight smile. "Come on, Thorin is grouchy enough without me holding us back."

Her smile faltered ever so slightly when she glanced back up at how much further they had to go for the day. Her legs ached just as the sight of the hilly surface looming in front of them. She slumped, letting her face sink back into a scowl. She had found it was easier to scowl. Smiling involved pretending she wasn't miserable. And miserable was an emotion she was all too familiar with and willing to let her mind experience.

The moisture in the air was sticking to her face, making her hair even curlier. Fili's blonde hair was beginning to curl, making him look even more disheveled than he normally did. The wind had his mustache braids, as ridiculous as Emelia thought they were, swinging about wildly. All of the dwarves hair and beards were steadily increasing in mess and size from the messy mist and steady wind that washed over them constantly. Even Thorin's hair was messy, which brought Emelia a very large amount of amusement at seeing him try and swipe it out of his mist covered face. At least if she was going to have to go with them, they would be as miserable as her for the most part. Of course, the miserable weather didn't seem to stop Fili from trying incessantly to get her to stop glaring at everything and anything she passed by.

She had come to the miserable conclusion, after days that felt like years, that she was so far from Bear Grylls it wasn't even funny. Emelia had taken the fact that she couldn't stand the mud coating her entire front and caking her boots as irrefutable proof that she wasn't meant for the lifestyle that went along with trekking through the wilderness.

Fili, upon seeing the look on Emelia's face, decided to keep his mouth shut for the remainder of their journey that day. She kept her arms held close to her sides, only moving them to wipe the large amount of sweat and precipitation from her face. Just past midday, when the mist didn't show any sign of stopping, Emelia had stripped herself of the thick coat she had been given. Fili could see her entire back was covered in dark stains from where she had been sweating from the humidity of the hilly pass. She kept her coat thrown over her shoulder, using its sleeve to wipe her brow almost constantly. Fili had never seen her hair look so curly and wild. It confused him as to why she was sweating so much at first, until he remembered that she was, in fact, human. Humans couldn't handle changes in temperature as easily as dwarves and elves could.

When the company stopped for the evening on the fifth night Emelia immediately threw herself to the ground, leaning back into her pack. She dropped her head into her hands, running her fingers over her still moist eyelids. She flinched slightly at the noises coming from the woods that surrounded the small clearing the dwarves had chosen to make camp in, but other than that she made no indication of intent to speak to anyone.

The company was as rowdy and rambunctious as always when they all settled down from the long day of hiking. The fire, which had been a monster to try and start with the wet firewood, crackled and danced pleasantly, drawing all of the men, and Emelia, even closer to it. The dwarves, completely nonchalant about the fact that there was a female present, had stripped themselves of their outer layers in an attempt to get them to dry properly before they molded. Or at least, that's what their excuse was. She imagined they just wanted to be free of all of the moist, sticky layers.

They all pulled off their grubby boots and stockings, bustling around one another to stick their large feet by the fire. Emelia, doing her best to avoid making eye contact with the atrocious amount of toe-fro, followed suit, ignoring the surprised looks she got when she joined them for the first time since they had set out from Rivendell.

"Well, by my beard. It seems the Lassie has finally decided to join us." It was Bofur who spoke, pausing in his whittling to fix her with a very snarky and sneaky look.

"Leave her be, Bofur." Balin said, scooting over to allow her a spot next to the fire. She took the seat only to be polite. She could already feel the heat from the blaze; making uncomfortable beads of sweat spring up on the back of her neck and lower back.

"How are you fairing, Lass?" It was Gloin who spoke, letting out a rather large puff of odd smelling smoke from his eccentric pipe. "You slipped on the grass less today, I noticed."

"As well as I could be, I guess."

Emelia did not like that she took her anger out of her situation on the dwarves. They were not their leader. They did not make her come. Individually, with the exception of Kili, Thorin, and Dwalin, the dwarves were altogether a pleasant sort to be around. She imagined she would have rather in enjoyed their company fully and completely if they had met in different circumstances. They were kind to her, mostly, and she hated that she found their company to be so undeniably wrong. She did her best to keep those thoughts from showing on her face, however.

"First time away from home, I am assuming." Gloin leaned forward slightly, pulling his large bare feet up so that he could rest his right elbow on his leg.

Emelia looked at him for a moment, fully aware of all of the eyes on her. "First time."

"You know, I don't think you ever told us what you were doing with those trolls." Nori said suddenly, earning a few nods of agreement from those sitting around him. The camp was silent, with only the sounds of the fire and persistent bugs interrupting it, before Emelia finally spoke.

"I was grabbed by them while I was sleeping." Even as she said it, she felt the ghost feeling of the troll's hand wrapping itself around her middle, making it slightly harder to breathe. "I didn't even see them coming."

"What of your Pa, or your Ma?" Oin asked, lifting his ear trumpet up so that he could hear her answer. "Surely they didn't let you go out here alone. You're such a tiny little thing."

Emelia looked down at herself. She had never seen herself as tiny. It seemed that her time with the trolls had taken its toll on her body more than she had anticipated. She felt bones that were normally covered by a layer of stodgy flab that she could never really seem to get rid of. Her mother had always said it was insulation. Now that the little layer that had always been there was gone, she found she missed it. She felt slight, sickly, as she looked at herself compared to the bulky dwarves.

"I don't really know." Emelia said, honestly, watching the fire with a sudden unyielding interest.

"You are an orphan?"

"Ori! You don't just ask a stranger."

Emelia managed a small smile, still keeping her eyes on the fire. Orphan wasn't exactly a word she liked to think about. It sounded harsh and final. However, harsh and final seemed to be her situation. Unless her parents appeared out of nowhere, she wasn't likely to see them, or her brother, again. She refused to think of herself as an orphan, however. They were still out there; they were still a family that was hers. Just because they weren't together didn't make them not hers and her not theirs.

"No, I'm not an orphan." She said, finally managing to make eye contact with the very nervous looking Ori. "Not really."

"Then why were you alone when those trolls found you?" Bilbo had been silent for the conversation, choosing instead to observe rather than speak his mind. He had gone still when the topic of being an orphan had been breached. He himself was far too old to be considered one, but that didn't stop him from internally faltering at the use of the word. He imagined it was quite the same for their female companion. He had not meant to ask her so tactlessly, but the words had just slipped out before he could grab a hold of them.

"She may have been alone then, but she's not alone anymore."

Emelia was not surprised that it had been Fili to interrupt the horrendously uncomfortable line of questioning. She had felt his eyes on her the entire time, making her feel even shiftier. He was opposite from her, sitting close to his brother, smoking on his pipe. He had pulled his hair back from his face, managing to tame his hair in a way that she had not yet figured out. Kili was looking at her, eyes narrowed as if he was sizing her up. His arms were resting on his knees heavily, making him look much more menacing that Emelia knew him to be.

"I was alone because I was, and am still, terribly lost." Emelia said, standing up heavily from her spot. Her muscles ached with the movement. "And you all fixed that the best way you could. You didn't mean to, but you did, so I guess I should say thank you. My mother would be appalled if she knew it hadn't said it. So, thank you. All of you." She moved towards her bedroll, which they all noted she kept much farther away from theirs than was necessary.

All of the dwarves watched her as she made her way over to her bedroll, throwing back the thin layer of blanket, before burying herself in it, covering her entire face from view. They could see bits of her long hair sticking out from the sides and could see it moving from her trying to get comfortable. They watched her squirm around for what felt like ages before she finally stilled herself, the movement that was her breathing becoming steady from what they assumed was sleep.

"What was that?" Dwalin asked, glancing around at the confused dwarves on either side of him.

"I haven't the foggiest." Balin said. "Although, I think we should all take it to heart that she said thank you."

"At least she didn't burst into tears again." Kili said, shrugging his shoulders. "I swear she has more water in her eyes than the silly dwarf women back home."

"Mother would not be happy to hear you say that." Fili said simply, giving his brother a playful elbow in the stomach.

"She also wouldn't be happy to hear you fancy a human." Kili shot back, effectively silencing the camp around them. The mood, which had been relaxed and calm, suddenly felt so awkward and tense many of the dwarves shifted uncomfortably on their feet.

Fili immediately stood up at Kili's words, ignoring the looks of surprise they got from those around them. The two brothers were glaring at each other so heatedly the fire seemed cool by comparison. Fili folded his arms over his chest, moving slightly away from his brother. Kili, mirroring his brother's face clenched his hands into fists, discarding his pipe onto the ground with a small plop in the moist grass. The camp was silent for a moment, watching the two of them glare at each other until Thorin finally had the sense to put an end to it.

"Enough. Both of you." Thorin stood up, effectively ending all conflict between the two. "Everyone to bed. We leave before first light. Fili, you take first watch, Kili you the second. Ori, you have the third."

Emelia had not been asleep, like all of the dwarves had assumed she was, making the entire thing about a thousand times more awkward. She had heard what Kili had said, making her entire face blush so fiercely she might have thought she had a fever. Her entire face felt like it was one fire as she thought about the entire company being witness to the little outburst by Kili. She probably wouldn't hear the end of it in the morning. Fili probably wouldn't talk to her out of necessity to clear up the fact that his feelings were entirely familial in nature.

The thought that he fancied her was so laughable it was almost insane.

That didn't stop her from burning with embarrassment at the thought, however.

She was forced to push the blanket back from over her face to get it to cool down. The air, while not Alaska cold, was still a wave of fresh washing over her face after forcing herself to attempt to sleep under her stuffy blanket for the better part of three hours. The bugs immediately flew towards her face, forcing her to remember that Thorin Oakenshield had picked the one mountain that had more insects on it than the flat ground. They swarmed around her face before she finally swatted at them as she sat up.

"Why is it so impossible for you to sleep through the night?"

It seemed she had escaped her blanket prison during the second watch of the night. Kili, wearing all of his traveling gear once again, was perched upon a large rock, twirling his knife in his hand and eyeing her with a very exasperated look.

"I heard you, you know." She said, pushing the blankets back from her legs. She hadn't realized she had been sweating so much until the cool air washed over her legs. "When you were talking about me."

Kili shifted awkwardly in his spot, turning away from her to look back down at the slope, choosing not to acknowledge her. Emelia felt her face scrunch up at the snub. She immediately stood up, stuffing her feet into her dirt caked boots, and made her way over to him. She bypassed a snoring Dori and jumped over a sleeping Bilbo, before planting herself in front of him. He didn't seem surprised to see her standing in front of him, arms crossed, lips set in a thin line. He merely looked annoyed.

"Unless you plan on helping keep watch, you should go back to sleep."

"I don't mean to be such a brat you know." She said, pulling herself up onto the rock, forcing him to move back from her out of instinct. "You just inspire such angry emotions that I just can't help it."

"I'm flattered." Kili said, turning his back to her once again.

"No, listen." She hated that her voice squeaked slightly at the effort to get him to listen to her. "I can't hate you, and Thorin, and Dwalin, and the trolls, and the river, and everything else in this damn place. I just can't. It tires me out. So I am saying I am sorry."

He was quite sure she was going insane. Not only had she suddenly thanked the dwarves for rescuing her, but now she was apologizing to him for who knows what. It was odd and out of character for the alarming woman.

"You do…"

"Kili, look. I don't know why you bother me so much, but you do. You bother me so much I want to punch you 95 percent of the time. I know you feel the same way about me, so there's no point in dancing around it. But, that's the extent of it. You can't possibly be as bad as those trolls if you risked your life to save me from the wargs. Nothing can be as bad as those trolls. And you can't possibly be so bad if Fee likes you as much as he does." She paused, shifting uncomfortably on her boot covered feet.

"Emelia, what in the name of Mahal is…"

"I'm just trying to say, in a very round about sort of way, is that I do not think…" She trailed off, losing the words she had planned to say spur of the moment.

If she was being honest, she hadn't planned on speaking to him at all. However, when he had addressed, as well as made the snipey remark towards her brother, she had decided that she didn't really have the energy to hate him. She had much more pressing matters. Namely, Thorin. She had been able to reflect on her anger towards Kili when she was in Rivendell because there she was completely safe and relatively happy. In the wild she wasn't. In the wild she feared for her life at every moment, and seeing Kili perched on that rock made her realize. Her anger towards him wasn't worth the time and effort.

"I think you're delirious from lack of sleep." Kili said simply in a whisper, scooting himself farther away from her. "You never sleep when you should."

"No, I'm…"

"Emelia, just go back to bed. You aren't making any sense. I am sure you will forget this entire thing come morning"

"No, I'm not. I'm not making any sense because I'm trying to call a truce with a stubborn ass like you."

He looked at her for a moment, dark eyes racking over her face, before he burst out in loud, chest rumbling laughter. His dark hair, which was wavy down the sides of his face from the wind, danced around. She thought his laughter might down when he saw that she was serious. He set his knife down, turning around to face her completely, only to descend into even more chortles.

"It's not funny, Kili."

She distinctly thought she heard him snort. "Of course it is."

She immediately stood up, pushing herself down to the ground. "See if I ever try and reason with you again you ego…"

"Emelia, you didn't even let me give my speech." Kili said, throwing himself down off the rock behind her, grabbing her shoulder to stop her from storming off into the trees out of anger.

"You're making fun of me." She said, turning around to face him.

"No, I am not." He couldn't even hold back his laughter long enough to say that with a straight face. "I swear. It is just surprising that you would even speak to me at all. I have heard the things you say about me."

"Fee is a viscous gossip. Don't listen to a word he says."

"I know that. He is my brother after all." Kili said, stopping her when she once again moved to go back to where she had been attempting to sleep. "I didn't say they weren't good things."

"You're awful." Emelia said, pulling his arm out of his grip. "You can't even take an apology like a proper, normal person can you?"

"Oh come off it." Kili said, forcing himself to keep his voice at a whisper. "You didn't let me finish what I was going to say."

"Go on then. Dazzle me."

Kili's lazy smile immediately faltered slightly. He hadn't actual planned on ever saying anything of the sort to her. He had always been told he was a good liar, a great one actually, but now that he was being started down by a less than impressed human, he found he wasn't exactly as quick with his wit as he thought. She looked at him for a moment longer, eyebrows raised, before she rolled her eyes, turning back around to walk away from him.

"I knew it." Emelia whispered over her shoulder.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry for your nose, and your shoulder, and I'm sorry I 'tacked you'. You were right when you said you bother me. Because you do. More than anything in fact." She stopped walking just next to Dwalin's body, looking over shoulder slightly. "You cry too much. But you are a woman so I suppose that is to be expected. You curse, which is odd, and you yell, which is also odd for someone who obviously has nothing physical to back their threats up with. Most of all though, you shouldn't be here, and for that I am sorry, because you can't control that, apparently, and neither can I."

"You're definitely making fun of me." She said, turning around to face him.

"Maybe a little." Kili said, immediately regretting it when he saw her shoulders slump slightly. "But, I still mean what I said."

She eyed him for a moment, scooting away from Dwalin slightly when he gave a very loud and resounding snore. Her boots scuffed the ground, gathering dirt as she moved. It squished and slopped beneath her, making her cringe slightly at the noise filling up the awkward lack of conversation. Kili had pulled out his knife, only to twirl it in his hands uncomfortably. He looked entirely alarmed and out of sorts after her sudden admission of apology. If she was being honest, she wasn't very comfortable either.

"I suppose I deserve a little ribbing, after all the mess I've caused."

"You didn't cause more than the usual." Kili said simply, shifting his own feet. "We dwarves tend to attract mess."

"I swear I'll stop being such a noodge."

"I have no idea what that means." Kili said, fully aware that he was now awkwardly smiling at her for the first time ever. Actually smiling.

"You're one Kili. Let's just leave it at that and call it a night."