Chapter Forty-Three: A World Alone
Emelia told Tilda not to look at the burning wreckage of Lake-town but she didn't listen. She was perched as close to the water as she could get without actually touching it, just staring at the place that was her home not an hour before. Emelia pitied her. She pitied all of them. She knew that people didn't like to be pitied, however, so she looked back down at the two boys shivering up against her legs instead.
Emelia tried to ignore the way her entire body ached as she bent down at their level, looking at each of their faces in turn. They were freckly, and pale, and red-headed. She internalized her winces and plastered on a fake smile.
They made her uncomfortable, she decided. She wrapped her arms around them regardless and pulled them closer to chest, hoping to warm them up with her own body heat, although it was abysmal. So far, it wasn't working. It was the middle of the night, she assumed, and they were all soaked through to the bone. They were alive though, somehow, so she was happy for the time being.
The journey out of Lake-town had been hard on Emelia. Her legs felt like they were on fire, and the irony of that analogy was not lost on her, and her back muscles felt like they were being ripped off one by one. She would never say that to the three kids, however, so she thought it best not to think about it any more until their situation was better.
One of the boys started crying again, forcing her to turn his head so that she could look him in the eye. It was the one with the green eyes, the one that reminded her too much of Eddy. She caught herself staring at his freckled face for longer than she should and looked away, willing herself to refocus. "Shh, it's alright." She tried to sooth him but it wasn't working. His tears seemed to have a domino effect, spurring the other boy, the one with the blue eyes, to start crying as well. "Oh no. No, don't do that. Shh."
"They're names are Hiron and Galon." Emelia glanced back at Tilda, taking note of the fact that she was still staring at Lake-town. "And they never stop crying."
Wonderful. That was exactly what she needed at the moment.
Emelia wrapped an arm around each and pulled them close, trying, and failing, to stop her own body from shivering as well. Hiron and Galon were weird names, but she realized that to them her name was weird to them. It was a silly thing for her to think about. She shook her head, trying to clear it of all the distracting thoughts. She was perfectly aware that they all needed something to warm up before they froze to death. A fire would probably be best, but after what just happened Emelia couldn't imagine going near one, let alone setting one. Not that she knew how. She had tried once to learn from Gloin how to start a proper fire but that had ended in a disaster of the setting Bifur's cloak on fire variety. She pulled the boys closer, thinking quickly. She would have to do it. There wasn't another option, as much as she cringed at the memory of her last attempt.
"Tilda." Emelia stood up after a moment, making up her mind. She pushed Hiron and Galon together and wrapped her coat around their shoulders, forcing them to huddle together for warmth. They were so small, she didn't think it would do much good, but it would have to do until she found a more permanent way to make it through the night. She didn't allow herself too much time to think about how much they reminded her Eddy and how cold he must have been all those months ago and turned on her heel towards Tilda. She picked her way over to the rock Tilda was sitting on, ignoring the shooting pain in her back that was flaring up again, and bent forward so that the boys wouldn't hear them. "Tilda, I need your help."
Tilda finally tore her gaze away from Lake-town, hastily wiping away tears so that Emelia wouldn't see them. Emelia had the good sense not to say anything as she waited for Tilda to come closer to her. She jumped down from her rock perch and walked over to Emelia, hugging her arms to herself. She looked very small, in that moment, and very scared, although Emelia could tell she was trying act older than she was. She was so young, though, and so very cold. All three of them were and they were her responsibility. The thought made her chest constrict. She could name about million people who were better suited to take care of children. But they were all she had, so she thought it was about time she stopped wallowing. It should be someone else, but it wasn't, so she would just have to deal with that.
Tilda peered up at her, waiting for Emelia, who was staring at the younger girl with a stupid look on her face, to elaborate. Emelia refocused herself, reminded again that she was, in fact, all the three of them had.
It was depressing tidbit that she told herself she wasn't going to think about for the remainder of their time together.
"Can you look at something for me?" Emelia asked in low voice. Tilda nodded, surprising Emelia with her complete wiliness to help. Blinking rapidly, Emelia turned around and bent down so her back was at eye level with Tilda, causing her to immediately gasp, to which Emelia responded with an angry shush. She bit her lip and waited for the verdict before she jumped to conclusions. "Is it bad?"
There was a long silence, filled only with the soft cries of Hiron and Galon, before Tilda spoke in a quiet voice that was almost impossible to hear. "It isn't bleeding." She trailed off, leaving the rest of her sentence hanging in a cringe-worthy way. "But the skin is discolored and patchy. There's something black on the edges."
Emelia sucked in a shaky gulp of air, but made sure her voice didn't sound too shaky when she spoke. "Can you wrap something around it for me?"
Tilda had very soft hands, which Emelia appreciated. She pushed back the fabric of her shirt and touched the skin around the cut gingerly. "If we had something, I could try. Bain gets hurt often, and he doesn't like Da to know. Sigrid usually patches him up, but she sometimes lets me help."
"Do you think I'll be okay until morning?"
"Emelia, I don't know." Tilda touched her skin again, softer than before. "Was it an orc?"
"How did you know?"
"They came to our house and attacked us. Tauriel saved us." Tilda said quietly, hands smoothing the torn fabric of Emelia's shirt down over the cut to protect it from the wind. "And the blond elf. He saved us too before he ran off."
"To chase them?"
"I think so."
"Where would they be able to get out?"
"There's a bridge." Tilda said quickly, breathing a bit heavier as she realized what Emelia was hinting at. "It's near here if it didn't get destroyed. It's the only way in and out for people on foot. The orcs could have made it there, but I don't know. I didn't see them after they left our house."
Emelia looked around at the tree line, feeling a chill wash over her that wasn't from the cold.
"We really should fix your back." Tilda reminded her, taking on a tone that sounded eerily like the one Emelia's mother used when Emelia was being stubborn.
The problem was they didn't have anything besides her coat to wrap around the wound. Currently, it was being used and Emelia wasn't about to take it away from the boys. She supposed she could use the end of her skirt, but that would leave her colder and, unfortunately, more exposed. There was the possibility of using the end of her shirt, but it was a wool material that would itch the raw cut something awful. "We'll just worry about it later." Emelia said, standing back up to her full height. Tilda looked up at her like she was crazy, but didn't push the subject when she saw the pointed look on Emelia's face. "Do you know where we are?"
Tilda looked around at the trees, then the coast line, before her eyes settled back on Lake-town. She rubbed her hands together, picking at her dirty nails nervously. It was too dark to see anything beyond the fireball in the middle of the lake, making Emelia think they would have to wait until morning before they could do anything major. It would help, however, to have some sort of idea how close, or probably more accurately, how far away they were from the rest of the survivors of the disaster. Emelia thought they were on the west side of the lake, but she wasn't too sure. Apparently, Tilda wasn't either.
"I don't know."
"It's okay. We won't be able to do anything until morning, anyway." Emelia squeezed her shoulder, although it didn't seem to make Tilda feel any better. The morose look returned to her face almost as soon as it had disappeared. Emelia felt her pity for Tilda come back, worse than ever. She pushed the desire to say something down once again.
"I'm cold." One of the boys spoke up, drawing both Emelia and Tilda's attention back over to them.
"Which one is which?" Emelia asked out of the side of her mouth, having trouble distinguishing them at this distance.
"Hiron is the one with the green eyes."
That didn't help, as eye color was almost impossible to distinguish in the minimal light they had from the moon and the fire, but Emelia didn't say so. She walked over to them and bent down so that she could look them in the eyes. A bit of ice had formed in their sopping wet hair and their lips had taken on a bluish color. Panic bubbled up in her chest at the sight, causing her to immediately wrap her arms around them and pull them close to her chest. They wouldn't even last the night if she didn't figure out a way to warm them up.
Emelia had figured out, long before she met the dwarves, that she was hardly the type of person who did things for herself. If she did, rarely and clumsily, it was done based purely on dumb luck. She was eighteen years old and had never once taken care of herself in any way. It was pathetic, she realized, and made situations like this that much more terrifying. She wished that someone could be there to help her, tell her what to do. Despite the three other people with her next to the lake, she had never felt so alone in her entire life.
There was no one but her.
The terrible feeling of isolation washed over her, making a hot bubble of panic settle in her chest that wasn't likely to go away any time soon.
"Where is Ma?" It was Hiron who spoke. It was mousy voice that didn't match his face. Emelia stared at him, unable to come up with an answer. She supposed lying was best in this instance, but she couldn't even bring herself to do that. Her mouth opened and closed like a fish, gaping until she could come up with something to say. When she said nothing, Tilda elbowed her in the ribs.
"She's waiting for you with the others." Emelia said quickly, rubbing his arms in what she thought was a comforting way. Her words sounded so hollow that it was a wonder she could even get them out without backtracking. They were little boys, though, and seemed likely to believe anything she said at the moment. "We'll see them tomorrow."
"I'm so cold." Galon spoke up next, wiping his nose with his sleeve.
"Me too. I'm going to fix it, though." They both shivered again. "I'm going to fix it. Firewood. We need firewood." She said the second part more to herself than the others, but their reaction was clear. Tilda visibly blanched, while the two boys shuddered more violently against her chest. "Hey, it's okay. I swear, it won't hurt you anymore."
That seemed like a bold faced lie, but it was the only thing she could think to say that wouldn't sound like total crap.
Emelia peeled herself away from the two boys and stood up. The lack of warmth, however slight, assaulted her, freezing her down to her core. She willed herself not to show that she was cold. She bent down so she could speak in Tilda's ear low enough that the others wouldn't hear her. "Watch them, and if anything happens or anything shows up, scream. I'm going to go get some firewood."
Tilda looked like she wanted to protest, but didn't at the look on Emelia's face. She was putting on her best stern face. It felt silly, but she guessed it did the trick. Tilda did as she was told and walked over to Hiron and Galon and sat down next to them, replacing Emelia as their source of warmth. Emelia stared at them for half a moment, before a violent shiver wracked her body, reminding her why she was leaving them in the first place.
The tree line was about thirty yards from the lake. The ash from the town, and Emelia told herself that it was only ash from the buildings and nothing else, fell on top of the branches and ground, making the whole place look muted and depressing. It certainly made her feel uneasy, but she pushed those thoughts down and trudged forward.
Gloin had said that dry wood was the best. She needed tender as well, and something to rub together to cause friction. Everything seemed to be covered in moss around Lake-town and had an underlying moisture that would make it hard to start anything. She stopped next to a bush and ran her fingers along the leaves, feeling them. She felt very official, almost like she knew what she was doing. She smiled briefly, but it quickly fell from her face when she felt how moist the leaves were. Next one.
She must have touched a dozen different bushes, piles of leaves, and trees, before she finally found the type of dried up leaves she was looking for. Using the bottom of her shirt, she gathered up the leaves and branches to take back. She knew she shouldn't be overly optimistic. Any idiot could gather firewood. With the thought of being above average, for once, and cuddling up next to something warm for the night, she hurried back to the lake, stumbling over roots and rocks as she went.
Tilda, Hiron, and Galon were in the exact place she left them, looking colder than before. She dropped the small pile of wood, far enough from the lake that the ground was dry enough for a fire, and immediately went over to them.
"Is everyone alright?" Tilda nodded, arms still wrapped around their trembling shoulders. "I should have this going soon."
Hopefully, but Emelia didn't dare say anything remotely negative around them. She plastered a very fake smile on her face and returned back to her pile of branches.
It was easy to pile the branches up into the pattern Gloin showed her. It was not easy, however, despite what cable TV might suggest, to use friction to get a spark. She was practically shoving her face into the pile, blowing on it while she rubbed two sticks together. She could feel her face turning red with the effort and about a million and one splinters in her hands. Narrowing her eyes at the pile of tender, she willed it to spark. Maybe if she glared at it hard enough, it would. When nothing happened, she huffed audibly and started twisting the sticks more violently.
One of the twins let out a small whimper, drawing her attention over to three kids instantly. Their lips were all blue. Emelia worked her hands faster. After a few more moments, during which she thought she might should have paid better attention to Gloin, the tender finally ignited.
"Take that!" Emelia shouted and instantly regretted it. She threw a hand over her mouth and looked at the line of trees, watching for a moment to see if her outburst had brought any unwanted company. When she was confident it hadn't, she turned back to the fire and started blowing on it, fanning it feverishly. "Come warm up by the fire."
Emelia went over to Tilda and removed one of the boys from her grasp. He immediately wrapped his small arms around her. He pressed his icy nose into her neck, his violent shivers wracking through her body. She set him down as close to the small flames as she felt comfortable and tried to pry him off her, but he didn't budge. She tried once more and only succeeded in peeling off one hand at a time. Tilda, struggling under the weight of the other boy, sat down on Emelia's left and pushed in as close as possible. She deposited the other boy on Emelia's lap as well before she held her own hands in front of the fire. Emelia thought she saw her smile, but she could have imagined it.
Emelia shifted the boy, Hiron, in her lap so that he was tucked against her as tightly as possible. She glanced over at Tilda and used her other arm to pull her close to her as well, smiling briefly when she glanced up. Tilda looked back at the fire with wide eyes instead of smiling back. Emelia did not take it personally. If she wasn't so cold, she wouldn't much like the idea of sitting so close to another fire, not after everything that had happened.
Emelia did not like the silence that washed over them. She thought maybe an hour had gone by, but it felt like so much longer. The fire crackled, warming them all up, but other than that, they were all silent. Hiron and Galon finally managed to stop crying, although when Emelia glanced down at them, she noticed it was because they had fallen asleep.
"You should sleep too, Tilda." Emelia spoke, starling the small girl.
"Do you think they survived?" Tilda asked, completely ignoring Emelia's advice. "My family?"
"Yes." Emelia said, mind wandering to the dwarves, even though she knew Tilda wasn't thinking of them in the slightest.
"How can you be so sure?"
"I can't be, but it makes me feel better to say so."
"What if they didn't, though?" Tilda's voice shook.
"You can't think like that, Tilda." Emelia adjusted Hiron in her arms and scooted him a bit closer to the fire, keeping her voice low so that she wouldn't wake him or his fitfully sleeping brother. "It'll only make it worse."
"I don't see how this can be worse." Tilda spoke loudly and emotionally, making Emelia immediately want to shush her, but she fought that urge.
"We'll know something in the morning." Emelia reminded her again, trying to do damage control as best as possible. "For now it's best to think about something else. Anything else."
"Such as the orcs that could be in the forest with us?"
"That's a very remote possibility. In addition to being unfairly attractive, Legolas is a very good fighter. He wouldn't let them get out alive."
Tilda looked at the trees, seeming unconvinced. Truthfully, Emelia had no idea if there were orcs. She hoped not, considering she couldn't fight them, but she really had no way of knowing. She grew uncomfortable looking at the trees after a moment, imagining horrible faces appearing out of nowhere, and turned back to look at the city, still burning brightly. She realized how stupid her advice was. It was eating her up inside not knowing what happened to the others. Fili was the last one she saw, but that felt like it was so long ago. They were better equipped to survive, they had been from the very moment she met them, but she still thought about the other possibilities on loop. She was a hypocrite. Realizing this, she quickly switched tactics.
"My mom's a horrible singer." She said, not entirely sure where this thread of conversation was going to go.
"What?"
"She's the worst. Every night, when she would sing to me, I thought she would get better and she never did. My dad is really good, actually. He has this really deep gravelly voice that I swear he could be famous with. I can't really sing though, which is unfortunate, but my brother already can. His voice is so sweet, like a little angel. I always try to get him to sing for me, but he never does, did."
"Why are you telling me this?"
"To distract you. Is it working?"
"No, not particularly."
"I could sing for you, if you like." Emelia offered, noticing the ever so slight smile on Tilda's face. "No? Shame, that's your loss."
Despite her distractions, Tilda still kept looking back over Lake-town. It was hardly recognizable anymore. Emelia imagined that if she knew the city better she would be able to see something that looked familiar. The buildings were starting to collapse into the water, leaving behind only their support pillars. She noticed they looked like splintered bones sticking up. Fractured, broken bones.
Emelia blinked, realizing that she really needed to stop allowing her mind to sink to such morbid levels.
It only made her feel worse.
"Emelia?" Tilda looked up at her, eyes red from crying.
"Yea?"
"Where are we going to go?" Tilda glanced back at her city. Emelia immediately reached out a hand to grab her and turn her back so that she would stop staring. Eventually, there wasn't going to be anything left for her to look at. "What are we going to do?"
Emelia stared at her, unsure if there was anything she could say that would seem right to her. She tried to speak once, but stopped when her voice came out thick with emotion. She wasn't good at this sort of thing, comforting people. She cleared her throat quickly, swallowing the nonexistent block that felt like it had suddenly formed, and spoke in a whisper. "We are going to sit here until morning and then we're going to get up and go find the rest of the survivors from Lake-town."
"What if there aren't any?"
"Tilda, I know you don't believe that for a second."
"I do."
"Well, I don't." Emelia voice was very quiet, so quiet she didn't think Tilda could hear her. The little girl scooted closer, folding her arms in her lap to keep warm. Her head was upturned slightly, indicating that she was, in fact, listening to Emelia intently despite not looking at her. "I think they're sitting there on some shore wondering where we are. Kili is probably chatting a lot. He does that. Fili is smiling and trying to get him to shut up because he's being annoying and people need to sleep. Bofur, well he's whittling something, maybe something for you, if you've been good enough. Oin is probably fussing over people, checking them for wounds. And I bet your sister is helping him. Your dad and brother are probably off helping other people as well, finding them blankets or something."
Tilda smiled slightly, a thoughtful look makings its way on her face. "That sounds nice."
Emelia nodded, smirking down at her. "They probably have food too, the jerks."
"Probably." Tilda laughed, a bit too loudly, immediately causing both Hiron and Galon to stir in their sleep.
"Shhh." Emelia hissed, starting to laugh as well.
"Sorry." Tilda whispered, reaching down a small hand to smooth Galon's hair. He shifted, seeming like he was going to wake up, before he sighed deeply and tucked himself back against Emelia. Tilda stared at him, keeping her hand on the soft tuft of hair that she moved away from his forehead. "I never paid much attention to them before tonight."
"Little things, aren't they?" Emelia mused, rubbing Hiron arms to warm him up a bit in his sleep. Tilda copied her actions, immediately drawing Emelia's attention to her hands. They were purple and splotchy, raw from exposure. She imagined hers were the same, as well as the boys, but she knew there was nothing she could do about it right then. She scooted closer to the fire, until her feet were practically in the flames, and waited, in vain, for it to take effect. "They look like my brother."
Tilda 'hmmd' quietly and nodded. Emelia didn't really know what to say to Tilda. There was a heaviness that hung over them that Emelia couldn't fight off anymore, so she scooted herself down into the ground a little more, fighting for comfort that wasn't there, and rested her head on her right arm.
"It could always be worse, you know." Emelia said quietly, stroking Hiron's hair with her left hand. "I saw people get dragged down, burned alive. That could have been us, so I'm thankful."
"I don't see it that way."
"You know I was held hostage by three trolls?" Emelia said, allowing herself to remember the painful memories for just a moment. Tilda's eyes widened, shaking her head. "Yea, it was before I met the dwarves, well it's actually how I met the them. I washed up on some river bank and they found me and took me to their cave where they proceeded to discuss for three days how they were going to eat me."
"That's awful."
"It was. I sometimes still have nightmares about it. I think, what if it happens again, what if the dwarves don't find me and those trolls actually eat me?" Emelia paused, looking down at her hands. "But then I remember that they did find me and I'm not the same person I was when those trolls found me. I'm different and I can see that things can always be much worse and that I should be thankful that I'm alive."
"I am, I just can imagine being without my family." Tilda said, so quiet it almost didn't sound like words at all.
"I thought so too. I haven't seen my family in months and I probably won't ever see them again, but I live with it and I'm learning to be okay with it. Tilda, your family is fine. I know it, just like I know my family is fine. I don't know how I know, I just do and I'm okay and you'll be okay."
"We're not really related, are we?"
"No." Emelia said, seeing no point in keeping up the lie. She glanced back at the burning Lake-town, realizing that there was no reason. Things were different now, although she didn't really know to what extent. She sighed and tried to find a more comfortable position without waking up the boys. "You really should try and sleep, Tilda. I'll be right here. No matter what happens tomorrow, you have me."
It was just before dawn and Emelia was rather proud of herself for staying awake all night. Her entire body ached, and she was certain that was due to the violent shivering she had tried, and failed, to suppress. Her back was cramped from sitting in the same hunched position all night and she couldn't feel her bottom, but she had somehow managed to keep Tilda, Hiron, and Galon sleeping all night, without much incident, so she was quite willing to let those complaints slide.
The fire that burned down Lake-town was gone, although smoke still spiraled up towards the clouds like white snakes. Emelia could smell it, even from so far away.
It was the sourness of the smoke that disturbed her. The acrid stench that came from more than just buildings made her lean down and press her nose into the material of her shirt. Breathing in deeply, she reveled in the fishy, woodsy smell of the fabric, allowing herself a few more moments in the silence of the morning before she woke the other three up.
The world was oddly peaceful for just having witnessed something so terrible. The lake, the part that wasn't near Lake-town, was actually quite beautiful with the sun just starting to peak out. It was the silence of the morning and the odd peace that gave her a moment to think about something that wasn't so terrifying. She had lied to Tilda last night about what the others might be doing, but in the morning, when she felt very alone sitting by the lake, she thought it might be true. Emelia pressed her chin down into her chest and smiled, thinking of seeing them again, in person. She thought of seeing Kili again and smiled even wider, blushing even though no one knew what she was thinking about.
She wanted to stand up and stretch her legs. Almost as much as she wanted to be warm and well fed.
Telling Tilda about the trolls allowed the memories to resurface in her mind, stronger and more poignant. She remembered being hot, then, and covered in sweat, but the fear she felt was much the same that she felt now. She had lied to Tilda. She didn't know what was going to happen, but she got better from then. Things always could be worse. Of course, and she noted this to herself dryly, she wasn't responsible for three children then. It was easy for her to make decisions when they affected only herself.
They were still so far from being safe and she still had so much left to do. Her stomach clenched horribly and she thought she might vomit if she had anything in her to spare.
Hiron stirred, whimpering in his sleep, and turned so that his face was towards the dwindling embers of the fire. The heat was gone and had been for some time, although she tried not to dwell on that. She glanced down at the three sleeping figures, realizing that she would need to wake them up, although she wished she didn't have to. They would wake up and for a moment, however brief, they would forget what happened. She didn't want to see their faces when they realized it was real. She prepared herself for the inevitable anyway.
She shook Tilda first, plastering a fake smile onto her face for when she would open her eyes. Tilda blinked rapidly, rubbing the sleep out of her eyes. She almost seemed content for a moment until she made eye contact with Emelia and remembered where they were and what happened. The despair that filled her eyes made Emelia feel bad for even thinking that the world was peaceful, if even for a moment.
"We should get going, yea?" Emelia said, trying to sound cheery. She sucked at it. Tilda eyed her and Emelia's smile twitched. That girl was a bit too smart for her own good. She thought she might have better luck as tricking the boys, if they didn't start crying the moment they woke up, that is. "Hiron, Galon, wake up."
Tilda watched her for a bit before she jumped in to help, poking each boy with her pointer fingers. Emelia shot Tilda a look, for which she only received an unbothered shrug, and proceeded to gently shake their small, frozen shoulders.
"Ma?" Galon squinted at Emelia and she could see the disappointment wash over him when he saw it was her and not his mother. His lip quivered.
"No, no, no. No crying." Emelia felt like this was a losing battle. "No? You're just going to ignore me then, okay."
"I told you, they always cry."
"Very helpful, Tilda, thank you." Emelia shot a look at Tilda over her shoulder before turning back to the other two. She needed to change tactics. Emotional terrorism seemed like the right route, as it had always worked with Eddy, but for some reason she didn't think that would have the same effect this time around. They would probably cry more. Bargaining was her next best option, although she had nothing to offer them.
"Tilda, try and calm them down." Emelia said, standing up and instantly regretting it. "Wow, pins and needles."
"Are you…"
"I'm fine. Although you might want to get your head checked out."
"For what?"
"Being so heavy." Emelia slapped her legs, wincing as the feeling returned. When she was confident she would be able to walk without falling over sideways, she took a few steps shaking herself until she didn't feel so weak, as weak. She still hadn't eaten in a while and her back was now almost without feeling, but she had experienced worse. She had to tell herself that it could be worse. "Anyway, I'm going to look and see if I can find any sign of the others, maybe see if I can find a direction for us to go. Can you make sure they're ready to go?"
Tilda nodded, although she didn't seem too thrilled at the idea. That was probably the best she was going to get. Waking up and seeing their situation the very same seemed to have made Tilda even more embittered. Emelia tried not to let that get to her.
Some of the debris from the town had found its way to the shore overnight. It was mostly charred and shattered, but there were a few pieces that looked mostly undamaged. There weren't any bodies, which Emelia considered to be a victory, although the number of mangled and shredded fish was enough to make her stomach churn. She didn't know if they were already dead when Smaug attacked or if they washed up after there water was flooded with contaminants, either way they were inedible and smelled something awful. She put her frozen hand over her nose and mouth and continued to scan the shoreline that she could see.
There wasn't much left of Lake-town, although that wasn't what she was concentrating on. It was so much easier, as Emelia expected, to get a feel for where they were in daylight. The smoke, which was edging more towards white than black as the fire burned down to nothing, spiraled upwards until it mixed with the clouds. It was sort of pretty, in a totally horrible, macabre sort of way. Realizing she was, once again, being distracted, she turned her attention back to the water, and more importantly, seeing if there was a sign of the direction the survivors would have gone in.
She thought maybe towards Mirkwood. There was a small dock there and maybe the elves would help them. Even if Thranduil was sort of one of the worst people, elves, she had ever met, she couldn't imagine him turning starving and freezing people away. She leaned out over the water, using one of the trees that grew there to keep her balance. She narrowed her eyes and leaned out further, eyes scanning all the shoreline she could see. Lots of washed up debris, some charred trees, and no people.
"Emelia!"
The surprise of Tilda's sudden scream caused Emelia to let go of the tree she was holding onto. She crashed into the water face first, flailing like she had never been in water before. It was more than a little embarrassing, considering. She flipped over in the shallow water and couldn't help the angry look on her face.
"Tilda, what the hell?"
Of all the things Emelia expected to see when she sat up in the water, an orc, a particularly nasty looking one, she noticed, was not on that list.
"Run!"
Tilda seemed too shocked to listen, or maybe she didn't know where to go. Hiron and Galon screamed when the orc advanced towards them, mouth black with a substance Emelia didn't like to think about the origin of. She scrambled out of the water, slipping in the icy mud on the bank, and landed on all fours.
The orc snarled and raised its notched sword above its head, still moving towards the frozen group of children. It didn't even pay any attention to her. She felt her chest constrict when it got closer to them, causing her to reach out and grab the nearest throwable object. She chunked it as hard as she could at its head, chest fluttering with a small amount of excitement when it made contact. It hardly did anything but cause the orc to turn to look at her, a thoroughly unimpressed look on its face.
"This is so bad." Emelia hissed to herself, knowing that what she was about to do was probably going to get her killed. "Come and get me!" She waved her arms like a lunatic, pointedly making eye contact with Tilda. She hoped she would get the hint and take the twins and run, but Emelia didn't think that was likely judging by the shell-shocked look on her face. The orc looked at her for a moment, seeming to think over its options, before it kept advancing towards the three children once again.
"No." Emelia sprinted towards it, unsure of what she was planning on doing once she got it, exactly. "This isn't happening. Not right now."
She did not have time to think before she was already to it. She threw herself at it, surprised at her own adrenaline induced agility, and grabbed it around the shoulders. It reared back, growling like an animal, and clawed at her with one of its hands. Or she assumed they were hands. It had claws like meat hooks and fingers the size of small branches. But she was digressing and it seemed like the exactly wrong time to do such a thing.
Narrowly avoiding one of its claws, she ducked her head down towards the rough metal plating of its armor. The rough edge scraped her face, and she was certain that would be infected later with some sort of flesh eating virus.
"Run!"
Emelia yanked backwards on its shoulders, hoping to tip it off balance enough to gain some sort of leverage. It was really all she could count on at that point. She knew she wasn't big, she was sort of midgety to be honest, but she used all of her weight to pull them both back. If she lived long enough to think about what was happening she would gag at the fact that she had to wrap her legs around its waist.
It felt like ages before they finally fell backwards, the orc snarling and Emelia squealing. Her back, which still throbbed from the night before and her last encounter with an orc, it should be noted, slammed into the ground with a crunch. The orc landed on top of her like a ton of bricks, knocking all the wind out of her. She kept her legs wound tightly around it and squeezed, halfway preventing it from standing up and chasing after the other three, whom she had assumed had finally listened to her and run away.
It only sort of worked long enough to make it angry. It shoved her legs off and stood up, elbowing her in the chest for good measure. It seemed so much bigger from that angle, snarling over her. It was going to stab her. Until she died. Her eyes widened as she realized that. She could very well die and she hadn't even gotten to see what Erebor looked like.
That little fact probably annoyed her more than it should.
It raised the sword over its head, mouth open and dripping, disgusting her to her core. Out of reflex she kicked both her legs out simultaneously, landing a shot to both its knee and its crotch. Fili and Kili would be so proud of that one. It stumbled back down the slope of the bank, a painful moan reverberating from it as it bent over at the waist. She assumed they were male, judging by their overall size, but now she knew.
Emelia knew that the pain in its nether regions wouldn't last long so she stood up, slipping in the mud once again. She hurried towards the orc, realizing that, if she had any sort of self-preserving bone left in her body, she would run in the opposite direction and never look back. She should hide somewhere and wait for it to move on, but she knew she couldn't, not with Tilda, Hiron, and Galon somewhere in the area. So she ran towards it without much of a plan, knowing that if the dwarves could see her, they'd never let her hear the end of it.
She considered it fortunate that the bank gave her a slight advantage in the height department. Even if it was slight, she was able to kick just high enough to catch the orc solidly in the face, sending it back into the shallowest part of the water. Feeling like a total badass felt completely premature, but she couldn't help but smirk to herself just a little bit. The moment of small victory was completely lost when the orc started coming at her again, angrier than before. Blood seeped out its nose and into the water, but it didn't seem to care. It just seemed to make it angrier.
"Oops." Emelia said to herself, looking around her for something she could use to defend herself with. Anything, really, would be better than nothing. She didn't have time to find anything when it grabbed her around the shoulders and pulled her towards its face, snapping its teeth like it wanted to eat her. It probably did. "Can we talk about this?"
Nothing but teeth.
"No? Okay." Emelia kicked again, hoping to maybe break a kneecap or two in the process.
Its mouth was millimeters away from her skin. She could feel the heat of it, making her close her eyes. Maybe it would be better if it just stabbed her. It would certainly be faster.
It lifted her up until she was off the ground, legs still kicking pathetically and missing everything. It held her aloft for a brief moment, seeming entirely too smug about besting a small human before it threw her into the water. It stepped on her chest and leaned down, brandishing its sword directly at her jugular vein. One little nick and she would be dead. It would be fast. Probably not painless, but quick.
The water lapped over her ears and threatened to go into her mouth as she sucked in air rapidly, although it was getting harder and harder to breathe the more the orc smushed her chest in with its foot. She thought something might be cracking, but that could just be her being overly dramatic. Her fingers dug into the material of its boot, or it could be skin, she wasn't really certain, her nails piercing it just enough to make the orc roar at her. The softness of the material her fingernails dug into let her know it was definitely skin. Blood seeped out over her fingers.
Emelia's arms felt like noodles when she lifted up, using all the energy she had left, which happened to be very little without sleep or food, the orcs foot just enough to push it off her and backwards into the water. She leapt up as fast as she could and hopped on top of it, placing both of her hands on top of its head. She shoved down as hard as she could until its entire face was under water, ignoring the frantic swinging of its arms and thrashing of its legs.
The orc tried to shove her off, and almost succeeded in doing so, before she used her legs to pin its arms down, muscles straining with the effort of holding it down. She didn't know how long it took to drown something. A minute? Two? Ten? She had no idea, but she knew it was too long and she didn't think she could do it.
It could have been ten years for all she knew before the orc started twitching violently for a moment before falling limp underneath her.
"Oh my god." Emelia's hands shook. "That was… oh my god." She sat back, feeling numb When she was certain the orc wasn't going to get up, and the thought that she did that made her feel unnaturally upset, she got up, scrambling away from the dead body in the water as fast as she could. "I did… I had to…oh my god."
"Is it dead?"
Tilda's voice broke through her reverie violently, ripping Emelia back to the situation. Tilda peered at her from behind one of the trees, both of her hands keeping Hiron and Galon firmly behind her.
Emelia glanced back down at the orc, taking note of the fact that it hadn't moved. "Yea."
"Are you hurt?" Tilda asked, taking a few tentative steps out from behind the trees.
"No." Emelia said quickly, slogging her way out of the water. She could hardly walk and she was now covered in mud, but she knew it was time for them to go. She limped up over the hump of the bank, wincing with each step she took. When she crested the top, she stopped to catch her breath, leaning over at the waist to place her slippery hands on her knees. She wanted to sit down for a moment. She needed to. She had to. The ground spun in front of her.
"How did it find us?" Tilda asked, voice sounding very distant despite the fact that she was standing less than ten feet away. Emelia dug one of her fingers into her ear, scraping all the mud and gunk out and stood up, grimacing even harder. She wanted to curl up someplace warm and hide, for just a moment, but she couldn't so she stood up, telling herself that there would be a time and place she could cry later. Her hands were covered in black blood, causing her to wipe them off frantically on her skirt, trying to get rid of the evidence.
Against her better judgment, she glanced back at the dead orc, feeling her insides squirm when she saw the way its hair, which was disgusting while it was alive, was even more vile when it was dead. It floated around its head like snakes, polluting the already awful water even further. She wiped her hands harder and more feverishly.
"I ran into one in the city. It was probably tracking something and found us. That fire was probably a bad idea." Emelia said, not bothering the hide the guilt in her voice. "I shouldn't have lit it. I'm so sorry. I wasn't thinking."
"It's not…"
"Let's go. I don't know how that one found us, but there are bound to be more skulking around here. Galon, come here." Emelia interrupted Tilda, beckoning to the quitter twin and forcing herself to smile at him despite the fact that it was the last thing on her mind. "Tilda carry Hiron." She bent down in front of Galon and held out her arms, noticing he seemed even more wary of her now. She was covered in mud and her hands shook something awful, but she thought she could manage to look like she wasn't freaking out on the inside, if she really tried. "I got you." She picked up him and forced him to wrap his arms around her shoulders, rocking him soothingly. "We're going to have to move fast, do you think you can hold onto me?" She asked looking down at him.
He nodded, burying his face into her neck despite all the freezing mud. Emelia turned to Tilda and did a quick scan to see if she was having any trouble before she hefted Galon a little higher in her arms and started walking, more like jogging, towards the tree line for a moment before she started running, Tilda hurrying behind her. She felt, very suddenly and inescapably, that the trees were much larger than they had been the night before. Their branches felt longer, more stifling, more threatening. She wanted to close her eyes and wake up somewhere else, anywhere else for that matter and forget what had just happened.
She knew, logically and explicitly, that killing an orc should not be cause for any sort of regret. It was going to kill her, and if not her, Tilda, Hiron, and Galon. Emelia did what she had to do, but she still felt the familiar metallic feeling in her mouth and the tightness in her chest that made her feel like she had done something wrong.
Regardless, she kept running, reminding herself once again that it could, inevitably and invariably, be worse.
Hello all! Sorry for the delay on this, but it was a total beast to write in addition to me trying to move out of the country. It clocked in at about 8,500 words. I struggled with it for a bit, as it was hugely important for Emelia and her development. She needed to discover that she can, in fact, take care of herself. This will be important later on as she finds out that she has much more to offer than people originally thought. Also, I thought it needed to be shown that she really has accepted what happened to her.
A huge thank you to all the reviewers, as it helped motivate to keep writing. Please, please, please let me know what you think. This chapter is really a big one, and I would love to know what you guys think worked and didn't.
Anyway, please keep up the fantastic support. It honestly makes this all worthwhile. I swear it won't be a month and a half until the next update ;)