Chapter 3

I took my time unpacking and then decided to take a shower to clear my head. It had been a long day, looking for my brother and somehow ending up in a Mayan clubhouse. As the water rained down over my face though, I found my mind wandering away from the mystery of my brother and instead to the warm brown eyes of Angel. Even though I knew common sense would be to grab Izzy and get out of this place, there was something safe about the guys I had met today. For the first time since my mum passed, I didn't feel alone.

Once I had showered and changed, I took a peek into Izzy's rom, only to find her fast asleep tucked up in bed. Closing the door gently, I headed back to the main toom, where EZ was behind the bar.

"Hey, can I get you anything?" He asked.

"Can you make tea?" I asked him and he grinned. "What?"

"You're so British," he laughed, and went to make me a cup of tea. He came back with it a moment later.

"Thank you. I think I needed a bit of home," I explained and he nodded in understanding. "So where are the guys?"

"Still in Templo," he told me, indicating the glass door down the corridor.

"Right… how come you're not in there?" I asked. Ez tapped the prospect patch on his chest. "What? You're still in training or something?" He laughed.

"Something like that," he chuckled. "You have to earn the full patch to have a seat at the table."

"And how long does that take?" I asked, sipping my tea.

"You prospect for a year, then they take a vote," he explained, "Has to be unanimous to pass."

"I see… and how long have you got?" I asked.

"Still about 9 months. I haven't been here long," he replied shortly.

"Right… seems a pretty serious process for a motorcycle enthusiast club," I said slyly, smirking at him when he looked at me. He grinned, shaking his head.

"I can see why you caught my brother's eye," he laughed. I looked at him questioningly.

"Angel," he clarified, laughing when I blushed.

"I don't know what you mean," I muttered and he smirked again.

"Your secret is safe with me," he winked and I rolled my eyes.

"There's no secret to keep," I insisted, as the door opened and the rest of the guys came into the room.

"All good?" EZ asked as Angle headed towards us.

"Yeah bro," he nodded, taking a seat next to me. EZ moved away to give us some space, taking a beer to Coco at the end of the bar.

"You still wanna go grab some food?" He asked me quietly.

"I'm starving," I confessed, "but Izzy is asleep. I think she's jet lagged."

"It's cool, the guys can watch her," he answered easily, making it clear he was still happy to go out. "Can't have you going hungry on our watch." He winked and I blushed.

"Sure ok. Show me your turf," I teased. I was surprised when he held his hand out to me. I took it, feeling butterflies in my stomach as he led me to the door.

The air was cooler outside now and the sun was setting. His fingers once again laced with mine as we walked over to the bikes, giving me butterflies.

Angel sat on his bike without a second thought, strapping on his helmet before holding his spare one out to me. I took the helmet and put it on, but then stood there, watching him, unsure of what to do.

"You coming?" He asked, patting the seat behind him.

"I've never been on a bike before," I admitted, blushing.

"Then you're in for a treat," he winked. "Just get behind me, hold on tight and lean when I lean."

"Ok," I said, taking a deep breath. I swung my leg over the bike and perched on the back, leaving a couple of inches between me and Angel so I didn't overcrowd him. I stretched my arms around him but it was difficult and uncomfortable with the space between us. Angel sighed.

"You're gonna come off the bike if you sit like that," he spoke quietly. Before I could answer, he reached behind him and pulled me flush against his back. I gasped in surprise, my heart thudding. We fitted perfectly together, like 2 pieces of a jigsaw puzzle and, like before, he smelled incredible. I was embarrassed by my reaction and my first instinct was to jump off. But the heavy thud of his heart beat I could feel against my hand on his chest let me know I wasn't the only one affected.

"I'm not going to hurt you," he said, his voice barely above a whisper. I could tell he was waiting for me to trust him. That gave me the courage to wrap my arms firmly around his body and lean my head into the crook between his shoulder blades.

"That's my girl," he said and, though I couldn't see him, I knew he was smiling. He kicked off the brake and we raced out of the lot.

Riding with Angel was incredible. Feeling the wind on my face, whilst the world whipped past – for the first time since my mum passed, I truly felt free of all the weight and pain. Feeling the strength of the man in front of me, his warmth and the steady rhythm of his heart made me feel safer than I ever had, despite the speed we were going. The ride ended far too quickly for my liking, as we pulled up to a 24-hour diner.

I was a little wobbly as I stepped off the bike, and I couldn't help but smile when Angel took my hand again, lacing our fingers together as if it was the most natural thing in the world. We chose a booth in the corner, sitting opposite each other. He chuckled when I ordered a chicken Burrito, Nachos and a Tostada on the side.

"What? I'm starving," I defended myself. "Last time I ate was in England."

"I'm not complaining," he laughed. "At least you're not one of those chamacas who eats nothing but salad 'cause they're afraid to get fat." I laughed with him.

"That's definitely not me, I'm a total foodie!" I declared.

"Good to know," he winked, as our food arrived and we both tucked in.

"So, EZ's your brother, huh?" I asked, as a way to make conversation.

"Yeah, younger brother," he nodded. "Pain in my ass sometimes but we cool. What about you, huh? How do you feel about finding out you got a brother?" I took a long slurp of my milkshake before I answered.

"honestly? I'm pissed, excited and nervous as hell, all at the same time. Does that make sense?" Angel nodded.

"Yeah, I get it chica Bonita, that's gotta be rough. You'll be good though. You seem pretty tough to me. And you've got us around, too," he winked. I smiled and blushed.

"You think I'm tough?" I couldn't help but ask. His warm brown eyes met mine and I had the sudden urge to lean across the table and kiss him.

"Si. Dura y hermosa," he whispered, his eyes never leaving mine. I blushed and looked away.

"I wish you wouldn't do that," I said quietly.

"Do what?" He asked cheekily.

"Say things you know I don't understand," I challenged him, waiting for him to explain what he said. He didn't, instead he laughed and winked at me. I sighed in fake frustration, though I was guessing whatever he said wasn't bad, he just wasn't ready to share it.

"So, tell me more about you?" I asked, as a way to change the conversation. He instantly stiffened.

"What do you wanna know?" He asked and I could tell he was trying hard not to sound defensive.

"I dunno… what's your dad like? He must miss your mum. What's your favourite colour? Or you favourite place in the world?" I asked, shrugging. "Anything." He relaxed when he realised that I wasn't asking about the club.

"My dad's a stubborn old fucker," he told me. "Runs the butcher shop in town. Yeah, he misses my ma, keeps her in a jar on the side. It's fucking creepy. We don't really talk much." He seemed sad as he said it.

"Why not?" I asked quietly.

"My pops and EZ, they get on really well. Me… I never know what to say, you know? EZ's always been the smart one. The dependable one. I guess we don't know what to say to each other," he answered, a little bitterly.

"I don't think that's true," I said quietly, referring to the smart bit. From the short time I had known Angel, there was nothing that led me to believe he wasn't intelligent. He looked at me but didn't answer. He seems surprised he had told me that at all.

"As for my favourite colour, it's red," he told me, as he tossed cash on the table for our food. "What about you?"

"Yellow," I told him, smiling at the topic change. I didn't feel the need to add my favourite colour was quickly changing to brown. He nodded.

"Cool, you ready?" He asked, standing up. I tried not to be disappointed.

"yeah, I suppose we should head back," I said, remembering Izzy for the first time. I was surprised at how sullen I sounded.

"Oh, we're not going back yet," he told me, grinning. "You asked me where my favourite place was. I'm gonna show you." He held the door open as we walked back out to the parking lot.

"Really?" I smiled excitedly, as I clipped on my helmet.

"yeah," he answered, sitting on his bike. "And on the way I'm gonna think of my questions to ask you."

The second ride was just as exciting as the first, and I got butterflies every time I thought of the man I was currently holding on to. I suddenly realised how late it was, as Angel drove us away from the town and into the desert. I knew I should be afraid, going to a deserted place with someone I barely knew. But I felt nothing but safe with Angel.

After about 20 minutes, he pulled off the sandy track and put the brake on. We both got off the bike and I watched as he took his bed roll from the back of his Harley and spread it across the sand. He took me by the hand and led me to his makeshift blanket, where I sat down.

"Your favourite place is the desert?" I asked, trying not to sound disappointed. The corner of his mouth twitched in amusement.

"Do you trust me?" He asked in response. I looked into the warm depth of his gaze and spoke truthfully.

"Yes," I whispered. "I trust you."

"Then don't move," he told me, and stood up. I watched, confused, as he walked the few steps back to his bike. The only light for miles was his headlight, and I panicked for a second when he switched the light off and we were plunged into darkness.

"Angel?" I called, uncertain, and I knew I sounded scared.

"I'm here," he spoke calmly, and a second later I felt his arms wrap around my waist. I felt him sit behind me, his legs outstretched either side of me, and I leant back into his embrace.

"Look up," was all he said, but it was enough.

Millions of stars lit up every inch of the sky I could see and, thanks to the starkness of the desert, they seemed to stretch for miles. It was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen.

"Wow," I whispered, finding myself choked up. "Thank you, Angel."

"De nada, hermosa," he whispered back, and I felt his lips press against my hair. I smiled, hearing the same word from back at the diner.

"This is your favourite place?" I asked quietly, not wanting to disturb the peace and wonder of it.

"It's where I come to think," he told me honestly. I smiled, lacing my fingers with his.

"Do you think our mums are up there?" I asked him, wondering if he would think I was stupid.

"I know they are. I know yours would be damn proud of you," He told me, conviction in his voice.

"You think so?" I asked him, twisting in his lap to face him. I was getting used to the lack of light now, and though I couldn't see him completely, I could feel his warm breath close to mine.

"I know so," he breathed out. My heart was thumping as I found the courage to say the words I'd been wanting to ask all day.

"Am I imaging there's something here?" I asked, my voice barely above a whisper.

"No," he whispered back, his face so close to mine I could almost feel his lips.

"Then show me," I told him, and he didn't need telling twice. His kiss was searing as his arms pulled me into his lap, one hand snaking around the back of my neck and into my hair as he pulled me closer. We battled for dominance before I caved, opening my mouth to deepen the kiss. His tongue was gentle and he tasted incredible. My legs wrapped around his waist as I grabbed the back of his kutte, never wanting it to end. It was a few minutes before we both came up for air.

He leant his forehead against mine as we both caught our breath. My heart was hammering in my chest and I was pleased to say I could feel his was no different.

"I've been waiting all day to do that," he finally told me, and I grinned. His arms were still around me as he lay down, pulling me into his side.

"Then why did you take so long?" I teased, and he shrugged.

"I didn't want to scare you off," he admitted, seeming embarrassed.

"You don't scare me," I told him, snuggling closer to him.

"You and your friend seemed pretty freaked out earlier," he pointed out, which was only fair. I was quiet for a moment, whilst I worked out how best to respond.

"Because we're not idiots," I said quietly. "We've watched enough documentaries on Mexico and the border to know you're not just motorcycle enthusiasts. Or scrap yard workers," I added, as he opened his mouth. He looked down at me, his deep brown eyes boring into my blue ones.

"What do you think we are?" He asked, just as quietly.

"Honestly? My guess is you run drugs," I shrugged. "I'm not judging and you don't need to tell me if I'm right or not. I'm not asking questions. I just… don't want to be lied to. Especially not when…." I went silent.

"When what?" He asked, twisting sideways so we were flush against each other. His arm went around me, holding me to him, and I knew it was his way of saying he was ok with having this conversation.

"When I like you," I confessed, hiding my head in his chest. I could hear his heartbeat, strong against my ear, and his cologne filled my head. He always smelled so good.

"Beautiful," he said, out of nowhere. I looked up confused. "You asked me what hermosa meant. It means beautiful." I looked at him in shock. His left hand moved a lock of my hair behind my ear, as he leaned forward and kissed me again. It was short and sweet, and left me wanting more.

"You're not wrong," he told me quietly, as he pulled away. "I can't tell you about the club… but I don't want to lie to you either. There's something about you Hope. I mean, damn, I've shared more with you today than I have with my family in years."

"You can trust me," I responded quietly, lacing my fingers with his. "I won't betray you."

"It's not about that," He assured me. "If any of us thought you couldn't be trusted, your asses would be on a plane back to England by now."

"Then what is it?" I whispered, touching his cheek. He seemed to struggle internally with what he wanted to say and what he was willing to say.

"I don't want you to get hurt," he whispered, putting our foreheads together again. "This life, the way we live… it's dangerous. And if you are Happy's sister, you might be leaving soon." I pulled back when he said that.

"What makes you think I'd leave?" I asked and he looked shocked.

"You came to find your brother. He's your family. Charming is 8 hours from here, Chica Bonita. It's not around the corner," He told me. I didn't know what to say and, without warning, my eyes filled with tears.

"Hey, none of that," Angel comforted me, pulling me back into his arms. "We will figure it out."

"I don't know what to think Angel," I sobbed. "Everything has happened so quickly. I've gone from losing everything, to potentially finding two things I've always wanted. It's so overwhelming." I clung to his kutte as he let me cry, soothing me gently by holding me and stroking my back.

"It's going to be ok, I told you. We got your back now," he told me once I was finished. He pulled me up gently to look at him, wiping my cheeks with his fingers before pulling me toward him. I didn't resist as I melted into his kiss, letting his strength hold me together. We lay together in silence for a while, just comfortable in each other's presence.

"What if Happy isn't my brother?" I asked him, sometime later. Angel shrugged.

"Then we will help you keep looking," he answered easily.

"I can't sponge off your club forever," I told him seriously. "I feel bad enough staying for a week. I was going to offer Bishop some cash for rent but I thought it might piss him off." He laughed at that.

"Don't do that," he agreed, chuckling. "He would see that as an insult. You wanna help out? You can always do a shift with chucky in the office or pull some pints. You don't need to though. We already told you, we got you." He seemed to be making some genuine suggestions, so I nodded.

"I might do that. I don't understand how you can just… welcome a stranger into your lives so easily," I frowned. He shrugged.

"That's how it is if you need help. We're not bad guys… we protect those who need protecting. We just do it in … unconventional ways," he admitted and I stared at him.

"Is that what this is going to be like?" I asked. "You skirting round the truth and me pretending not to hear the double meanings in everything you say?"

"Blunt, aren't you?" He laughed.

"British," I corrected. "And you didn't answer my question." He sighed, running his hands over his hair.

"I don't know what we're doing," he said honestly. "I like you. You're not like anyone I've known before and it's only taken you one day to get in my head. I don't know why but I trust you. But this…. Can't be that. Not right now. You've got a lot of shit to figure out, family shit. I don't wanna pile more stuff on your plate until you've got that shit sorted." I sat up and pulled away from him, tears stinging my eyes. He was already rejecting me.

"Hey, hey, don't do that," he said, trying to pull me back to him.

"So, what? We're just gonna pretend this didn't happen?" I asked, gesturing between us. He shook his head, taking my hand in his.

"That's not what I'm saying, princesa. I ain't pretending shit. This happened. I'm cool, I'm not hiding it," he told me firmly. "What I'm saying is, take some time. Process this shit. Find out who your brother is. I'm here, I got your back with that. Let's just chill and when your head is right with all that, then we can decide where we go from there. 'Cause once you're all in…. there ain't no backing out, novia. There'll be no secrets between us and you'll be with the club for life. I just want you to have a clear head when you make that choice." I took in every word he was saying, and all the things he didn't say. Like how he was as scared as I was that the other might change their mind.

I already knew I wouldn't. I nodded and snuggled back into him.

"So… we're friends?" I asked, grimacing already at the thought. He laughed and flipped me on to my back, hovering over me.

"We're more than friends, mi chica bonita," he told me, his mouth inches from mine. "We just ain't rushing it."

"What's a chica bonita?" I asked, my breathing hitched as all I could see or smell was him.

He leaned down until our mouths were touching, and whispered "my pretty girl," before claiming my mouth once more. I wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling him closer to me. His kiss was hot and heavy, and I moaned when I felt his excitement push against my thin leggings. He broke the kiss, the both of us panting. I lay flat on the blanket as I caught my breath, my heart hammering.

"Mierda," he whispered, and sat up. "Sorry, that was fast." I looked at him, smiling.

"I wasn't exactly complaining," I muttered, feeling suddenly shy.

"Yeah but… we ain't doing it like that," he said, standing up. "As hot as you are, and as much as I want to… we need to head back. Your friend is gonna be worried about you."

"Oh shit, Izzy!" I exclaimed, jumping up. "Oh man she's gonna think you killed me." I laughed, surprising when he joined in.

"More like the other way around, chica loca," he said, turning his phone on to the flashlight, so we could see the few steps to his bike. He put the bed roll back in its place and, after checking I had my helmet on, we rode back to Santo Padre.

Angel's phone read 4.08am when we made it back to the clubhouse, and it was all quiet besides for EZ, who was sitting on the decking steps. He grinned as he watched Angel back up and we got off the bike.

"Not a word, little brother," Angel warned him, as we walked up the steps. EZ held his hands up in mock surrender, still grinning.

"Night EZ," I muttered, blushing.

"Buenas noches Hope," he returned, his smile becoming gentler.

Angel led me to my room before stopping outside.

"Goodnight babe," he told me, pulling me into his arms. I melted into his embrace, fitting perfectly with him.

"Aren't you going to come in?" I asked, surprised. I then blushed when I realised what I'd said.

"No, I'm not," he whispered, and it sounded like it was a hard thing for him to say.

"Why not?" I whispered, feeling bold. I leant on my tip toes to brush my lips against his. He groaned and kissed me roughly, pushing me against the bedroom door. After a few moments though, he pulled away.

"Because I like you too," he told me, looking me straight in the eyes. "I don't wanna fuck this up."

I smiled at him, putting my hand on his cheek. He turned his head and kissed my palm.

"Good night Angel," I told him, opening the door behind me.

He leaned forward, kissing my forehead, and whispered, "Buenas noches hermosa," before turning and walking back down the corridor.