Thank you guys sooo much, the support I'm getting for this story is amazing! I love hearing that I'm not the only one who's enjoying this! You're all fantastic and because of that I've been writing frantically to get this to you guys! Hope you enjoy it! As always I own nothing at all :( not even Dean, sigh.

Chapter Sixteen

For The Wicked

We sat up together for the next couple of hours, eating the food that Sam had brought and drinking the beers, laughing and joking, teasing and bitching. I kept talking about the job that we'd just done, going over bits in a play by play. It both amused and annoyed the brothers in equal measure. They did a hunt and forgot about it now normally, but it was my first time and I was on a high, mainly as I hadn't died.

After a while though Sam started yawning. "I'm beat, I'm gonna grab a shower and hit the sack." The tall man told us as he stood up and grabbed his bag from next to the door. "See ya in the morning dude, night Bells." He called as he headed for the door that led to his room for the night.

"Night Sammy!" Dean and I chorused together. Sam just smiled and rolled his eyes, apparently giving up on us.

As soon as the door shut behind Sam the mood in the modest motel room that Dean and I were sharing changed. Suddenly there was an awkwardness there that hadn't been before. Dean was sat on the bed and I on the sofa, neither of us looking at each other, neither of us saying anything for a minute or two.

"I'm gonna grab a shower." I said standing up and heading for the bathroom, wanting to be on my own for a few minutes while I figured things out. Like what the hell was going on, and what I wanted to go on. Important life decisions like that, hoping that the hot water would help.

"Hang on sweetheart." Dean said getting up off the bed.

I turned to face him, my heart fluttering nervously as he approached me. He stood in front of me, towering over my small frame as he reached down. My breathing hitched in my throat as his hand came down to my neck. Excitement and want filled me again, despite my promise to myself that I'd sort this out in my head before anything else.

Dean gently ripped the bandage off my neck, making me wince and take an automatic step back from him. He'd tried to be gentle but it hadn't worked, dude had just taken half my freaking skin with the bandage.

"Ouch!" I moaned with a frown.

"It was gonna be no good in the shower sweetheart was it? And the one on your chest won't be either. You can take that one off yourself though!" Dean smirked at me before heading back to the bed, apparently pleased with himself.

I marched in to the bathroom with a frown, muttering to myself as I did. I stepped into the grotty room and shivered slightly repulsed, the cleaner obviously hadn't been in here for a few days.

I turned the shower on as hot as I could get it and stripped, tearing my bandage over my chest off with another wince. Damn things hurt coming off.

Closing my eyes so I couldn't see my filthy surroundings I stepped under the burning hot, yet soothing water. Relaxing as it washed away the dirt, grime and stress of the day.

As I washed myself I let my mind wander. The first thing it came to was Dean. Of course it was Dean. It was always going to be him now. The man infuriated me, the way he was always hot and cold. One minute seeming to want me like I did him, the next pulling away and saying no.

But I had a problem; I was falling in love, and I didn't no how to stop myself. It was a freefall and I had no parachute.

If Dean and I carried on like we were I would end up in bed with him, of that I was sure. And I wouldn't regret a second of it, I was also sure of that. For me it would be special, something to treasure and look back on with a smile and a warm feeling. However it would be just another night with another woman for Dean. I knew that. And I also knew there was a chance that he would regret doing it. I wasn't sure if I could live with that.

Also there was the question of what then? Say we did sleep together, then what? Dean had already told me he didn't do dating. So what, would we just carry on being friends, or sleep together but that was it? I didn't think that would be enough for me, but I also didn't think that Dean could give more. That he wanted to give more.

I had my answer, I knew I had my answer. But how was it, that when something was the right thing to do it could hurt this much? It could bring tears to my eyes and pull out something vital from my chest that left a dark gaping hole that I thought only one other man could have left and did the first time the douche bag did leave.

Relationships sucked. Men sucked. Or maybe there was just something wrong with me. Yeah that was probably it. I mean after all this Eve thing needed me, me out of all the people in the world, which meant I was different to everyone else, wrong somehow. Tainted. I was doomed before I'd even started.

It was with a heavier heart and a small tear running down my face that I stepped out of the shower.

I opened my eyes only to want to close them again. Not only had I forgotten my bag in my haste to leave the tense atmosphere of the room but the motel bathroom was not equipped with towels. What kind of place didn't have towels? I sighed knowing I either had to get changed back into my ruined clothes or stick my head round the door and hope that Dean didn't catch a glimpse of anything.

I picked up my clothes from the heap that I'd thrown them in and looked at them, if I got re-dressed into them I'd be needing another shower. My top was stiff with dried blood and holey from where the knife had sliced into it. My pants were dirty and ripped, some un-known substance staining the knees. I'd have to throw them away, they were beyond salvageable. Which left option number two. Great.

I opened the door fractionally and stuck my head through the tiny gap, making sure my body was well hidden behind the thin ply wood.

Dean was lying on the bed, his eyes staring at the ceiling, a small frown across his otherwise flawless face.

"D? Can you chuck me my bag please?" I asked him, making him jump so hard that he actually landed back on the bed with a bounce. I couldn't help the giggle that escaped me.

"What?" He asked me with a deeper frown, sitting up on the bed as he did.

"My bag?" I asked still giggling a little.

"Why?" Dean asked me looking confused and not moving off the bed. It must have been nice where he was because he was still half there.

"Cause it has my things in it." I said slowly, making sure to ennunciate each word carefully, adding a roll of my eyes as well.

"Uh... Yeah... Sure." Dean said climbing off the bed and grabbing my bag. "B?" He said as he approached the door slowly.

"Yeah?" I asked a little impatiently, the cold air nipping at my skin now and making me long for a towel and some clothes.

"About earlier..." Dean started saying rubbing the back of his head with his free hand, still a few feet back from the door.

There was a lot of earlier to talk through, the whole day had felt like a week. And I did want to talk to Dean, I really did. But my legs were starting to turn numb, and my lips felt like they were going blue. My feet blocks of ice on the cold tiled, dirty floor.

"Er... Can it wait till I'm dressed D?" I asked, still impatient. But my toes were about to become frost bitten.

"What?!" Dean asked his eyes growing wider, almost comically, as he swallowed visibly. If it weren't for the fact that my hair was dripping down my back in the most unpleasant way I might have laughed.

"I want my bag, so I can get dry and dressed." I said, holding my arm out of the door towards the bright pink bag that held towels and warm clothes.

Dean thrust the bag at me and spun around on his feet, his shoulders tense and angry as he stomped back to the bed. What had got into him? Hot and cold. That's why nothing could happen. That's why nothing more would happen.

I closed the door with a snap and routed through my bag, hoping Alice would have seen my need for a towel when she'd packed it. The omnisipent little pixie had. See saw everything, which for once I was more than glad of.

Ten minutes later, dry, happy and warm I stepped out of the bathroom. Dean no-where to be seen. The room was empty.

My heart dropped a little when I realised that he wasn't here, a stupid reaction considering what I'd decided with myself, but never the less one I couldn't help but have.

I dropped my bag and trudged to the bed, the tiredness that I'd previously felt coming back to me. My head had barely touched the thankfully soft pillow before I'd fallen asleep.

~0~

I slept fitfully, waking up every twenty minutes or so despite my exhaustion, my eyes flickering open and searching the room wildly. Missing something. Who was I kidding? Missing him.

It was three hours before he came back, the door opening softly, his footsteps barely more than whispers on the worn brown carpet. He tiptoed across the room, opening and closing the bathroom door as quietly as he could, as I pretended to sleep unaware. He didn't even switch the bathroom light on until the door was closed behind him. A surprisingly thoughtful and sweet gesture that I'm sure he didn't even realise he was doing.

Minutes later and I fell asleep again as the soft whoosh of the shower came through the closed door.

I woke bleary eyed to the sound of someone rummaging almost silently through the room. "Shit!" Came a barely audible whisper that could have only fallen from Deans mouth. As my eyes became use to the dark I saw his body moving around the room, hands stretched out towards the floor looking for something. It would have been almost comical were it not for the fact that he was naked. A blush flared across my cheeks unbidden and I squeezed my eyes closed so I couldn't see anymore.

Eyes shut was no better, the memory of his perfectly muscled back flashed in my head, the strong legs, the toned and shapely ass that had me literally drooling. I thanked god that I'd only seen his back, that was enough to feed my imagination for months. Though I found it almost unfair how he looked so perfect undressed, almost a god were it not for his scars that somehow made him more sexy.

I heard him sigh out in relief as his hands came to rest on what sounded like material. I imagined him leaning down and routing through it. The muscles in his back tensing as he dug through his bag, his huge, manly thighs taking his weight. I tried desperately to think of something else, anything else. Maths, science, Britney frigging Spears, anything. But nothing worked, the image of Deans naked psyhique was permanently burnt into my memory.

After a few minutes of rustling I heard Dean sigh again, almost a pained sigh before the springs of the bed creaked and his body tipped me as he climbed in.

Dean turned his back to mine, his feet curling under him and unwillingly resting on my bare legs.

"Jeeze!" I shouted shooting up in the bed and moving my legs swiftly from his freezing feet.

Dean shot up too, turning the light on as he did. "What is it? What's happened? You ok B?" He asked sounding worried, his eyes raking me in assessment.

"No I'm not! Keep your freezing feet to yourself dude!" I shouted, rubbing my legs which still felt the sting of his cold toes against them.

Dean looked blankly at me for a second before he burst out laughing. I shot him a glare before settling back into the bed. Pulling the covers tightly round me so that I was back within the comfy warm confinement of my own body heat.

"Sorry sweetheart." Dean said, the laughter ruining his apology slightly as he slid back under the covers as well, turning the light back out as he did.

We both laid on our backs, our bodies centimetres from each other, silence in the room punctuated by a chuckle coming from Dean every now and then.

After a few minutes I poked him in the ribs. "Some of us are trying to sleep, shut up!" I hissed, but I was smiling as I did. The annoyance leaking out of me like it always did whenever I was close to Dean and he was happy. It was like his mood was infectious or something.

"Hey!" Dean said, not even bothering to keep his voice down as he rubbed his now apparently sore ribs.

"Sshh.." I giggled out, snuggling deeper into the covers, a smile crossing my face yet again.

I felt a smirk cross Deans face, even from a distance, like the air around it had changed somehow.

"Dean! Stop!" I screeched out as his hands had found my ribs and started tickling me mercilessly.

"Say sorry B!" Dean sang as his fingers continued their torture.

"Sorry B!" I said in-between uncontrollable peels of laughter.

"Not good enough!" I heard Deans smile, almost seeing it as my eyes once more adjusted to the inky black darkness of the room. His fingers still attacking my sides in what can only be described as unjust malice.

"Sorry! I'm sorry! Dean I'm sorry!" I cried out as I couldn't take it anymore, my laughter almost a long shriek now.

Deans hands stilled and left my body, a deep velvet chuckle ringing out that send shivers through my heaving body, I was still laughing and trying to catch my breath at the same time.

"That was evil!" I gasped, turning so that I could see his face. He was looking at me with a smug grin on across it.

"No poking me in the ribs when I took a bullet for you was evil. You should respect your saviour." Dean grinned at me, humour in his eyes.

"You're right. Thank you. I mean it. I'd be dead if it weren't for you." I said with sincerity, my tone serious now.

"Yeah. See. Respect. That's more like it." Dean teased me, unable to take any form of a compliment. His grin still firmly in place.

"Hey I'm trying to have a moment here if you wouldn't mind." I said while crossing my arms and trying to look stern.

"Sorry. I'll behave. I think you were speaking about how heroic and manly I was." Dude just wouldn't quit.

"Not to mention modest." I replied with my own smirk.

"And handsome." Dean quipped right back.

"Irritating."

"Charming."

"Annoying."

"Sexy."

"Hey, we're talking about you here, not me aren't we?" I giggled, glad that I was able to hold my own with the brothers when they got going, especially Dean, I had a feeling I wouldn't be where I was now if I couldn't. I'd probably be right back in Forks or dumped on Bobby's doorstep.

"We were, but you're right you are." Dean said with a smile that lasted for all of a second before his face dropped a little, his eyes becoming serious for a change.

"I knew it. I'm sexy." I chimed in, wanting to go back to the teasing and look away from his mesmerising eyes. Knowing that I'd be lost in them if I carried on looking. That I'd cave in on the promise I'd made myself earlier. The one where I remained friends with Dean but that was all.

"Yeah you are." Dean said again, a finger gently stroking my chin, lifting it so that I was looking back into his eyes.

"Dean, I don't think..." I trailed off as my eyes met his once more, all thought leaving my mind.

"Don't think what Bella?" He asked as he scooted closer to me in the bed, millimetres separating us now.

"That this is..." Again I lost my train of thought. All I could think of was how good his lips felt against mine.

"This is what?" He asked, shifting closer still, his hand now gently stroking my arm, from my wrist to my shoulder.

"Good idea." I murmured, my voice low, my arm tingling in a delicious way. I was a goner.

"Why?" He whispered to me, his lips so close to mine that I felt them move.

"Erm... I can't remember." I mumbled before my lips found his.

We kissed slowly and passionately for a while, innocent kisses that somehow promised more. Our hands were entwined under the covers. Fingers slotted around fingers, thumbs stroking palms and hands.

Dean broke the kiss first; he placed a chaste kiss to my lips before laying back on his pillow, his eyes focusing once more on mine. Our hands still joined together.

My mind whirled with all the things I wanted to say to this amazing man laid next to me. I love you, we shouldn't be doing this, let's do this now, what will you be like later, please kiss me again, that was fantastic, promise me we'll still be friends. Stupid conflicting thoughts and words, I didn't know which to say, well other than not the I love you bit. So I settled on saying nothing. Waiting to see if he would say something first.

He did. As we stared into each others eyes Dean untangled one of his hands from mine and brought it up to my face. "You're beautiful sweetheart." He said, making me blush, but not helping with the inner turmoil that I was feeling.

"You're amazing." I replied honestly, moving my cheek further into his hand.

We laid in silence just looking into each others eyes until I fell asleep once more.

~0~

I woke yet again while it was still dark, my chest and throat both burning. I was laid in Deans arms, pressed tightly to his body. His hands resting around my waist.

I wanted to revel in the warmth and security, the happy glow that it gave me. But the pain was a little too strong. So instead I scooted away from him, inch by inch, trying desperately not to wake the hunter. I managed to get out of bed and tiptoe to my bag, bringing out a bottle of painkillers that had been stashed in one of my inside pockets.

I picked up the painkillers and my purse while I was at it, then pulled out a long sleeved and rather baggy t-shirt, trying my hardest to be silent. I carefully pulled my shirt over the nightgown that I was wearing and pushed my feet into some sneakers. I then crept from the room, the still heavy breathing coming from the bed telling me that I'd managed not to wake Dean up.

I stood outside the room for a second, the night air balmy with a slight chill to it that raised the hairs on my arm. Most of the rooms in the motel were dark and nothing moved in the sparsely lit parking lot directly in front of me. I stayed still for a few moments non the less, wanting to be double sure before I left the safety of the brothers in the middle of the night.

As nothing moved or made a noise for a few minutes I decided that I was ok. I walked slowly to the vending machine near the reception wanting to grab a coke to take my tablets with.

Coke got and painkillers taken I leant against the wall for a moment, trying to focus on anything but my neck which had started screaming with pain, I must have caught it on something in my sleep.

Stood behind the vending machine I was obviously hidden from sight as a deep voice that I recognised rung out from the other side of the machine, the footsteps approaching after the voice had echoed over to me.

"I do want your help Ruby... Ok we want your help... I know... No Bells is off limits... She's helping us too... Dean... That isn't funny... Yeah she was... Dammit Ruby if you're gonna be like that then Dean and Bella will never trust you... Well Dean will never trust you then... No we're all a package... Yes including Swan... I know we need you but... Ok... Ok... Thanks." Sam must have hung up the phone, breathing out a deep sigh as he did that echoed over to me clearly.

My mind raced with what I'd heard. Sam was still talking to Ruby, still wanting her help after today? I thought we were friends? I thought he was one of my best friends, one of my only friends. What did this mean? Was he going to hand me over to her so that she could kill me? It wasn't like he was protesting too much when she wanted to earlier. Was I safe here with Sam and Dean?

I stood for a second, hardly daring to even breath in case he caught me. But if he wanted to kill me, if Sam agreed with Ruby why hadn't he done it before now? He'd had plenty of opportunity, plenty, and he could of made it look like an accident. I couldn't believe that all of what had happened between me and Sam, all of the talks, the jokes, the laughing, was just a smoke screen, I couldn't. He was my friend, and if I wanted to know something then I should ask him.

I stepped out from the vending machine that had been my cover and came face to chest with Sam, he towered over me with a stressed and upset face. An expression that turned into shock when he saw me.

"Bella? What are you doing - did you - why are you out of bed? You ok?" Sam asked me, jumping from surprise and perhaps panic to worry for me. His features still not under control yet, and he still hadn't tried to kill me, a good omen I thought.

"Hey Sammy, my cuts hurt." I said raising both the painkillers and coke so he could see them.

"Oh, yeah, right. You ok?" He asked me managing to do a better poker face now.

"Will be as soon as these kick in." I replied leaning against the cold metal of the vending machine and staring up into his handsome face. "So you wanna talk about what I just heard?" I questioned him, not beating around the bush. Wearing my own poker face as I did.

"Depends on what you heard." Sam said, crossing his arms and trying to look intimidating. A look that didn't work on me anymore, I'd known him long enough now not to be frightened by the giant. Even if he was talking to a demon about killing me.

"Everything. You gonna hand me over to Ruby? Let her kill me?" I asked a heck of a lot more casually then I felt inside.

"What, no, no!" Sam sounded shocked and a little pissed that I'd think that. "God no, why would you think that?!" Yeah I was right.

"You're talking to a demon who tried to kill me less than seven hours ago, I dunno, maybe my imaginations working over time." I replied sarcastically. "And you weren't exactly in my corner when she suggested ripping out my heart."

"That's because Dean was your corner, he stood in front of you to stop her, you didn't need me too." Sam said defensively.

I hated that we were arguing but I needed to know. I had too. "Sam, I thought you were my friend, no matter who or what was gunning for you and who was in your corner I'd have been there too." I took a deep breath, I was more angry and hurt than I'd realised. "So you talking to her, you sure you're not gonna hand me over with a little bow on? Or kill me yourself?"

"Don't be so dramatic Bella! Ruby's helping us stop Lillith, we need her! And no I'm not going to kill you, and I won't let anyone else kill you either! Ruby's promised not to hurt you again. She really is trying to help us." Sam sounded like he was pleading with me there.

"Who you trying to convince Sam? Me or yourself?" I asked carefully before starting to walk back towards the room that Dean and me had been sharing.

"You don't know anything about it Bella! You've known us for what a month? And you think you know everything? You don't know anything! You don't know me, and you sure as hell don't know Dean! And what's more you're never going to know us!" Sam shouted at me, his breath heavy as though he was running, his voice angry and loud in the otherwise silent area. "Don't kid yourself Bells, you're not one of us and you won't ever be one of us. As soon as we find Charlie that's it, your gone. And you know what else? Dean and me, we'll forget you, just like Dean forgets all the other girls he fucks."

Tears burnt my eyes as his words stung worse than the knife cuts that I had.

"He won't remember you, you know that, no matter how good you were he's had better!" Sams words were just ugly insults being thrown at me now. "You think you two had a future? Get real, you barely have a present!"

"I'm going back to bed Sam, and I suggest you do the same thing." I said, no emotion in my voice at all as I turned my back on someone I'd thought was my friend. "And we haven't slept together Sam." I added quietly as I reached the bedroom door.

I closed the door softly behind me, leaning my head on it and letting the tears pour down my face as the hurtful but truthful words that Sam had spoken washed over me.

"You want to tell me what the hell just happened sweetheart?" Dean asked me darkly, switching on the bedside lamp as he sat on the bed watching me.

Oh dear, poor Bella, she's never gonna have an easy time of it is she? Let me know what you thought! I'll do my very best to get another chapter out in the next few days for you! Love as always Tametiger xx